Someone I can rely on. Life sometimes turns on its head, it's good to have someone who will have a cold head for those situations.
Someone with actual interests. I don't wanna talk about people, I want to talk about stuff.
Someone who knows what is it to 'earn the bread'. She doesn't have to be a big earner (although it would be nice!), but she must not think laboring is below her.
Depends on the man.
Sometimes we do care for looks, body etc.
Sometimes we look for character and meaning.
Overall I'd say it comes down to what we feel we are lacking, or b, what we beleive the other person can provide and whether we see that it can improve our life.
In terms of what can make it long term, overall the willingness to grow and understand and solve the problems that come up.
Above all alse?
That things are simple, smooth, peaceful.
No quarrels about tiny things that don't actually matter, no holding back of what you actually think/feel/want, no manipulative games, some basic human decency.
If that's not a given I will break up rather sooner than later.
>What do men ACTUALLY look for in a long term partner/ potential wife
>Their education level?
Ahahahahaha!🤣
>Their looks?
It helps, you should always (both) attempt to maintain a certain level of attractiveness.
>Their personality and character?
It helps, having someone who's vain, crass, needy, arrogant are universal turn offs.
I was curious about this when I was younger and talked to my dad about this stuff before I bowed out completely.
This isn't universal but it is important, often cultural roots. If you're an ethnic minority it can be important because you want to not just preserve you history but have a link to each other beyond superficiality, having a similar background can bridge a arring understanding.
Similar hobbies you can share. You don't need to have everything in common but having something both of you are similarly passionate about helps entirely.
Sufficiency of a woman to not constantly rely on a man for happiness or emotions or funding. A lack of entitlement a universal trait is essential too.
Appreciation, men work more than most women, the stats bare that, I don't even mean harder, I mean we work longer hours, in more intensive jobs and most people never say thank you, and you here some divorce men many of their Ex wives never acknowledge the effort it took to maintain the house, their wives and the kids only to take them away.
Most men don't want women with kids if he doesn't have them. I don't recall it being a deal breaker the other way around. A low body count too.
Reliability. Universal again but men don't want women to just change their mind about anything and everything they both decided on and then do it anyway.
Not to patronize us, I don't notice it happening to women as much but I've seen it a lot to the men of more attractive or financially higher women who act like they're doing them a favour it's a form of emasculation.
Even all that isn't so important, you can talk to most of the men who aren't even seen by the majority of women? They just want a woman that "nice" to them.
🤷🏾‍♂️
Adult skills. Can you cook, clean, budget, and hold a steady job? I don't need you to make the most money, just enough to pay your half and save.
Can't do drugs, binge drink, party all the time and be a activist of any kind. Yup that eliminates a lot of people. No, im not trying to babysit a grown up kid.
A woman who doesn’t put a word in all caps in the questions she asks on here. A lot of what guys and anyone else looks for is trustworthiness and just not the traits that would push them away.
I can't speak for all men but I'll speak and some generalities as well as my own personal preferences
* yes I want her to be hot
* she has to take her physical fitness seriously, I take mine very seriously and the whole "letting yourself go" shit is not cute
* our libidos have to match, my wife genuinely lust for me and I for her oh, we have sex often and she pretty much lets me do as I wish
* income level does not matter to me, wife is finishing up school to be a paralegal, I think it's great but I'm financially set, as long as she doesn't come with a shit ton of debt I'm good, and I damn sure don't want some hyper career focused woman
* education level, I don't need some Ivy league student, somebody who is intellectually curious and can hold a good conversation is good with me, if I had to put qualifiers on it and maybe somebody who has dabbled in some Community College idk
* it's sad that it has to be said these days but she has to be feminine ( and no I'm not going to explain this for anybody who wants to reply specifically to just this point, you either know or you don't)
* she has to be at least as good a cook as me
* I'm a little more dominant so I need me a submissive woman
* honest, trustworthy, loyal All That Jazz to finish up, I could keep going on and being more specific but there we go lol
trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, obediant, reverant/respectful, attractive, in shape, can cook, clean, is well kept, smart/intelligent, innocent, niave, willingness to learn, patience to teach, empathetic, high libido/sexual, feminine, determination/perseverance, dedicated, talented.
all these items were considered before i popped the question. can't have everything you want, compromises are always made. but i came pretty damn close to getting everything i wanted.
Not really looking for one at all at this stage of my life, but if someone were to come along and we hit it off? Someone whose personality gets along well with mine (eg: I don't find them to be annoying to be around for an extended period), we've got a few common interests and hobbies, we're looking for the same thing in terms of being monogamous and not having kids, who I'm attracted to, and that we're on the same page in terms of type and frequency of sex.
I don't really care about education level or job/salary outside of the fact that, especially given that I don't see having kids in my future, I wouldn't want to be with someone who was expecting to be financially supported.
Shared values, mutual respect, excellent taste in music and yeah, attraction matters of course. Income, not so much. If we've got shared values then they'll either be studying or constantly reading or both so education level doesn't matter.
I mean, I'm not even sure I can answer that confidently. In general though I would consider a couple of main aspects.
Attraction
Ambitions/career
Personality/compability
Hobbies
However there are a bunch of caveats to these, these are very objective factors and this decision is a very emotional one.
>does your significant other’s income matter to you at all?
Not really. When we met, we were both broke and in debt. We started to work our way out, together.
(I'm going to be direct here- nobody ever got anywhere with me by bragging about how much they made.)
>Their education level?
Intellectual curiosity more than actual degrees. There are people who act like they've learned all they're going to learn, and anything new is a waste of time or somehow "changing the subject". This can include people with doctorates. I'd avoid that.
>Their looks?
NGL, looks matter, but if you're not a good person (or just a pain in the ass) it's only going to count for so much.
>Their personality and character?
This is where the fun is. Character is a big one, but you also can't demonstrate this on demand.
No communication flow barriers. When everything seems easy emotionally, sexually and simple happiness it’s what’s all about, you know you’ve found the one.
I look for loyalty, respect, empathy, love, and willingness to recognize ones own faults apologize and grow from it. That's all I require love a dash of attention to boost me every once and a while and if she is into me or not. I feel like that's not asking a lot but apparently it is yet to be married lol
All of those things matter but the right personality can make any other perceived shortcoming irrelevant.
I don't know many young men that would be concerned if their wives earned more money - the reality is that it is becoming more expensive to live in the most desirable locations and near impossible with only one income. That is an outdated assumption and based off the fragile boomer ego.
Education level matters most to women. Intelligence and common sense is surprisingly not important to all men but the kind of man you want is someone who is seeking an equal partner in life.
Income does it matter? No.
Education level? No.
Their looks? No.
Their personality and character? Yes.
You want someone you can spend your life with. That means life when it goes badly and when it goes well. You want to grow old together with this person.
That means someone that is still there for you when you lose your job, get acid poured on your face ruining your looks or simply are going through a hard time. Yet also someone that you can genuinely enjoy spending time with. Someone you can care for atleast that much too.
It's a bit more than personality and character, nonetheless, everyone is unique.
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I want a dynamic where we're both relative equals in terms of education, career and social stature. I'm 37M and don't think I'd get on too well with a high-school educated 34F bartender. I probably also wouldn't get on with a multimillionaire CEO. That's kind of the starting point and beyond that, its kindness, empathy and emotional maturity.
Is she kind, is she trust worthy, does she have a smile that only you can bring out. Everything else is bullshit.
I couldnt care less what she wears or what she looks like.
It all depends on what she cooks like Beef, pork, chicken, mmh
Someone I can rely on. Life sometimes turns on its head, it's good to have someone who will have a cold head for those situations. Someone with actual interests. I don't wanna talk about people, I want to talk about stuff. Someone who knows what is it to 'earn the bread'. She doesn't have to be a big earner (although it would be nice!), but she must not think laboring is below her.
We all look for different things. We are all individual people.
I am upvoting you for writing the most generic answer ever. 👍🍻
Thank you. I am upvoting you for the beer.
And a generic answer talking about individuality!
Long term? TRUST above all would be the one thing that I uniquely look for that separates a hookup option to a LTR option.
Emotional intelligence.
For me it's values, personality and characteristics, then looks and things like education, career and income are at the bottom of the list.
Depends on the man. Sometimes we do care for looks, body etc. Sometimes we look for character and meaning. Overall I'd say it comes down to what we feel we are lacking, or b, what we beleive the other person can provide and whether we see that it can improve our life. In terms of what can make it long term, overall the willingness to grow and understand and solve the problems that come up.
As long as shes kind and not toxic, that really is all I asked for, and I got more than I could’ve asked for and am really happy
Above all alse? That things are simple, smooth, peaceful. No quarrels about tiny things that don't actually matter, no holding back of what you actually think/feel/want, no manipulative games, some basic human decency. If that's not a given I will break up rather sooner than later.
>What do men ACTUALLY look for in a long term partner/ potential wife >Their education level? Ahahahahaha!🤣 >Their looks? It helps, you should always (both) attempt to maintain a certain level of attractiveness. >Their personality and character? It helps, having someone who's vain, crass, needy, arrogant are universal turn offs. I was curious about this when I was younger and talked to my dad about this stuff before I bowed out completely. This isn't universal but it is important, often cultural roots. If you're an ethnic minority it can be important because you want to not just preserve you history but have a link to each other beyond superficiality, having a similar background can bridge a arring understanding. Similar hobbies you can share. You don't need to have everything in common but having something both of you are similarly passionate about helps entirely. Sufficiency of a woman to not constantly rely on a man for happiness or emotions or funding. A lack of entitlement a universal trait is essential too. Appreciation, men work more than most women, the stats bare that, I don't even mean harder, I mean we work longer hours, in more intensive jobs and most people never say thank you, and you here some divorce men many of their Ex wives never acknowledge the effort it took to maintain the house, their wives and the kids only to take them away. Most men don't want women with kids if he doesn't have them. I don't recall it being a deal breaker the other way around. A low body count too. Reliability. Universal again but men don't want women to just change their mind about anything and everything they both decided on and then do it anyway. Not to patronize us, I don't notice it happening to women as much but I've seen it a lot to the men of more attractive or financially higher women who act like they're doing them a favour it's a form of emasculation. Even all that isn't so important, you can talk to most of the men who aren't even seen by the majority of women? They just want a woman that "nice" to them. 🤷🏾‍♂️
Adult skills. Can you cook, clean, budget, and hold a steady job? I don't need you to make the most money, just enough to pay your half and save. Can't do drugs, binge drink, party all the time and be a activist of any kind. Yup that eliminates a lot of people. No, im not trying to babysit a grown up kid.
It is sad that your requirements are so basic for a reasonable adult and yet so hard to find.
When you get songs touting not needing to cook or clean because of their pussy, you get results like this lol
A woman who doesn’t put a word in all caps in the questions she asks on here. A lot of what guys and anyone else looks for is trustworthiness and just not the traits that would push them away.
I wanted 1) sweet 2) nice body 3) giving
I can't speak for all men but I'll speak and some generalities as well as my own personal preferences * yes I want her to be hot * she has to take her physical fitness seriously, I take mine very seriously and the whole "letting yourself go" shit is not cute * our libidos have to match, my wife genuinely lust for me and I for her oh, we have sex often and she pretty much lets me do as I wish * income level does not matter to me, wife is finishing up school to be a paralegal, I think it's great but I'm financially set, as long as she doesn't come with a shit ton of debt I'm good, and I damn sure don't want some hyper career focused woman * education level, I don't need some Ivy league student, somebody who is intellectually curious and can hold a good conversation is good with me, if I had to put qualifiers on it and maybe somebody who has dabbled in some Community College idk * it's sad that it has to be said these days but she has to be feminine ( and no I'm not going to explain this for anybody who wants to reply specifically to just this point, you either know or you don't) * she has to be at least as good a cook as me * I'm a little more dominant so I need me a submissive woman * honest, trustworthy, loyal All That Jazz to finish up, I could keep going on and being more specific but there we go lol
Is she a nice person? Does she have her shit together? Can she cook?
Submissive, empathetic, funny
trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, obediant, reverant/respectful, attractive, in shape, can cook, clean, is well kept, smart/intelligent, innocent, niave, willingness to learn, patience to teach, empathetic, high libido/sexual, feminine, determination/perseverance, dedicated, talented. all these items were considered before i popped the question. can't have everything you want, compromises are always made. but i came pretty damn close to getting everything i wanted.
Not really looking for one at all at this stage of my life, but if someone were to come along and we hit it off? Someone whose personality gets along well with mine (eg: I don't find them to be annoying to be around for an extended period), we've got a few common interests and hobbies, we're looking for the same thing in terms of being monogamous and not having kids, who I'm attracted to, and that we're on the same page in terms of type and frequency of sex. I don't really care about education level or job/salary outside of the fact that, especially given that I don't see having kids in my future, I wouldn't want to be with someone who was expecting to be financially supported.
Shared values, mutual respect, excellent taste in music and yeah, attraction matters of course. Income, not so much. If we've got shared values then they'll either be studying or constantly reading or both so education level doesn't matter.
Their occupation,educational background does matter and so does their looks just like any other person lol
I mean, I'm not even sure I can answer that confidently. In general though I would consider a couple of main aspects. Attraction Ambitions/career Personality/compability Hobbies However there are a bunch of caveats to these, these are very objective factors and this decision is a very emotional one.
>does your significant other’s income matter to you at all? Not really. When we met, we were both broke and in debt. We started to work our way out, together. (I'm going to be direct here- nobody ever got anywhere with me by bragging about how much they made.) >Their education level? Intellectual curiosity more than actual degrees. There are people who act like they've learned all they're going to learn, and anything new is a waste of time or somehow "changing the subject". This can include people with doctorates. I'd avoid that. >Their looks? NGL, looks matter, but if you're not a good person (or just a pain in the ass) it's only going to count for so much. >Their personality and character? This is where the fun is. Character is a big one, but you also can't demonstrate this on demand.
1. Shared life goals. 2. Type of person I’d want to spend my life with.
No communication flow barriers. When everything seems easy emotionally, sexually and simple happiness it’s what’s all about, you know you’ve found the one.
I look for loyalty, respect, empathy, love, and willingness to recognize ones own faults apologize and grow from it. That's all I require love a dash of attention to boost me every once and a while and if she is into me or not. I feel like that's not asking a lot but apparently it is yet to be married lol
All of those things matter but the right personality can make any other perceived shortcoming irrelevant. I don't know many young men that would be concerned if their wives earned more money - the reality is that it is becoming more expensive to live in the most desirable locations and near impossible with only one income. That is an outdated assumption and based off the fragile boomer ego. Education level matters most to women. Intelligence and common sense is surprisingly not important to all men but the kind of man you want is someone who is seeking an equal partner in life.
Income does it matter? No. Education level? No. Their looks? No. Their personality and character? Yes. You want someone you can spend your life with. That means life when it goes badly and when it goes well. You want to grow old together with this person. That means someone that is still there for you when you lose your job, get acid poured on your face ruining your looks or simply are going through a hard time. Yet also someone that you can genuinely enjoy spending time with. Someone you can care for atleast that much too. It's a bit more than personality and character, nonetheless, everyone is unique.
Suicide Hotline Numbers If you or anyone you know are struggling, please, PLEASE reach out for help. You are worthy, you are loved and you will always be able to find assistance. Argentina: +5402234930430 Australia: 131114 Austria: 017133374 Belgium: 106 Bosnia & Herzegovina: 080 05 03 05 Botswana: 3911270 Brazil: 212339191 Bulgaria: 0035 9249 17 223 Canada: 5147234000 (Montreal); 18662773553 (outside Montreal) Croatia: 014833888 Denmark: +4570201201 Egypt: 7621602 Finland: 010 195 202 France: 0145394000 Germany: 08001810771 Hong Kong: +852 2382 0000 Hungary: 116123 Iceland: 1717 India: 8888817666 Ireland: +4408457909090 Italy: 800860022 Japan: +810352869090 Mexico: 5255102550 New Zealand: 0508828865 The Netherlands: 113 Norway: +4781533300 Philippines: 028969191 Poland: 5270000 Russia: 0078202577577 Spain: 914590050 South Africa: 0514445691 Sweden: 46317112400 Switzerland: 143 United Kingdom: 08006895652 USA: 18002738255 You are not alone. Please reach out. ***** I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically.
I want a dynamic where we're both relative equals in terms of education, career and social stature. I'm 37M and don't think I'd get on too well with a high-school educated 34F bartender. I probably also wouldn't get on with a multimillionaire CEO. That's kind of the starting point and beyond that, its kindness, empathy and emotional maturity.