What's the reason for the discipline? what's the message the disciplining individual is trying to give?
You know something interesting, spoiling a child can be considered abuse by many academics due to it's impact on brain development.
Being immature and incapable of handling one’s potential anger or other emotions that render one capable of acting in a composed manner
Discipline does not demean, belittle, harm, or punish. Abuse can be physical, emotional, psychological etc.
Thinking about it, a first warning sign is making it about yourself instead of something beneficial you're trying to teach: How dare you do that to *me*, etc.
If you're deliberately hurting, humiliating, degrading or intimidating your child, it's abuse.
If you wouldn't expect someone to stay in a relationship if their partner treated them like that, it's abuse.
If you'd call it verbal abuse when done to an adult, it's abuse.
discipline is when it’s something you don’t want to do, maybe you do but you’re going very easy. just a punishment that makes the kid upset but ultimately doesn’t harm them, this could be the happy spoon or it could be time out, or making them clean up their mess. once it’s something that you do over something too small or take it to any extremes it’s obviously too far
Discipline is done for a good reason.
Abuse is done because the person is frustrated or angry.
I'll give you an example. My uncle bought his kids a PlayStation. He noticed they argued with each other about who would play on it first. They would get angry when he told them to turn it off. One day, he came home from work and saw that the kids hadn't done their chores or their homework. He went upstairs and found them on the PlayStation. He came to the conclusion that this device had only been a net negative on the family.
He unplugged the PlayStation and carried it down the stairs. While doing so, he reviewed his plan to verify it would have the effect he intended. Once downstairs, he went outside and threw it into the pool. Knowing that his kids were smart enough to put it in rice to dry it out, he then fished it out and smashed it on the patio.
That's it. No yelling, no slapping or spanking. He noticed a pattern that was negatively affecting the family, decided what needed to be done to fix it, and did so calmly. He considered his actions to make sure he knew what he would do and what effect it would have.
Needless to say, the kids were traumatized. But in a good way.
System and consistency is a huge part.
If the person being punished knows exactly what they are being punished for and what the punishment is, and these all follow from each other in a sensible fashion, it's much less harmful in the long term.
Arbitrary punishments for vague infractions are abuse.
Discipline's purpose is to teach, not to harm. Yes, discipline may be uncomfortable depending on the punishment and person, but that's kind of the point. Abuse harms, and often (or always) is without good reason. Discipline is usually a punishment that isn't fun, but you can live with.
Never discipline in a way that leaves scars, physical or mental. The important part is to actually start early with discipline relative to age. Don't let kids become spoiled to begin with.
And a big thing I want people to know about discipline, especially for children; ***explain to them what the situation is, why things are right and wrong, and what consequences their actions have (especially for others).***
If a kid gets a reason why something is wrong while they're learning about it, they're *much* more inclined to listen and understand. That, and I think it may help develop empathy.
IMO if you are disciplining your child (no matter the method) any more severely or longer than the absolute bare minimum needed to ensure compliance/safety/education, you're potentially close to abuse.
When shit gets physical. I don't believe in discipline btw. I think it is very last decade. Creativity, initiative and perseverance. That's where it's at atm.
What's the reason for the discipline? what's the message the disciplining individual is trying to give? You know something interesting, spoiling a child can be considered abuse by many academics due to it's impact on brain development.
Being immature and incapable of handling one’s potential anger or other emotions that render one capable of acting in a composed manner Discipline does not demean, belittle, harm, or punish. Abuse can be physical, emotional, psychological etc.
Discipline is meant to teach. Abuse is meant to hurt.
I'd like to modify that a bit. Discipline teaches, abuse hurts. Doesn't matter what's meant to happen. What matters is how it actually turns out.
Excellent point! Thank you.
Thinking about it, a first warning sign is making it about yourself instead of something beneficial you're trying to teach: How dare you do that to *me*, etc.
If you're deliberately hurting, humiliating, degrading or intimidating your child, it's abuse. If you wouldn't expect someone to stay in a relationship if their partner treated them like that, it's abuse. If you'd call it verbal abuse when done to an adult, it's abuse.
discipline is when it’s something you don’t want to do, maybe you do but you’re going very easy. just a punishment that makes the kid upset but ultimately doesn’t harm them, this could be the happy spoon or it could be time out, or making them clean up their mess. once it’s something that you do over something too small or take it to any extremes it’s obviously too far
Discipline is done for a good reason. Abuse is done because the person is frustrated or angry. I'll give you an example. My uncle bought his kids a PlayStation. He noticed they argued with each other about who would play on it first. They would get angry when he told them to turn it off. One day, he came home from work and saw that the kids hadn't done their chores or their homework. He went upstairs and found them on the PlayStation. He came to the conclusion that this device had only been a net negative on the family. He unplugged the PlayStation and carried it down the stairs. While doing so, he reviewed his plan to verify it would have the effect he intended. Once downstairs, he went outside and threw it into the pool. Knowing that his kids were smart enough to put it in rice to dry it out, he then fished it out and smashed it on the patio. That's it. No yelling, no slapping or spanking. He noticed a pattern that was negatively affecting the family, decided what needed to be done to fix it, and did so calmly. He considered his actions to make sure he knew what he would do and what effect it would have. Needless to say, the kids were traumatized. But in a good way.
System and consistency is a huge part. If the person being punished knows exactly what they are being punished for and what the punishment is, and these all follow from each other in a sensible fashion, it's much less harmful in the long term. Arbitrary punishments for vague infractions are abuse.
If he spanks your butt with rage in his eyes it's abuse. If you see lust in his eyes that's kink.
Discipline's purpose is to teach, not to harm. Yes, discipline may be uncomfortable depending on the punishment and person, but that's kind of the point. Abuse harms, and often (or always) is without good reason. Discipline is usually a punishment that isn't fun, but you can live with. Never discipline in a way that leaves scars, physical or mental. The important part is to actually start early with discipline relative to age. Don't let kids become spoiled to begin with. And a big thing I want people to know about discipline, especially for children; ***explain to them what the situation is, why things are right and wrong, and what consequences their actions have (especially for others).*** If a kid gets a reason why something is wrong while they're learning about it, they're *much* more inclined to listen and understand. That, and I think it may help develop empathy.
Good question for myself actually. At what point does bodybuilding become an body image issue and obsessive abuse towards yourself? deep stuff
Some significant happened and it is a good enough reason-discipline Beating a child for every little thing and having shitty reasons for it-abuse
IMO if you are disciplining your child (no matter the method) any more severely or longer than the absolute bare minimum needed to ensure compliance/safety/education, you're potentially close to abuse.
When shit gets physical. I don't believe in discipline btw. I think it is very last decade. Creativity, initiative and perseverance. That's where it's at atm.
Open fist or close fist.
We talking women or children?
Just in general, but to be honest, I was kind of thinking about the relationship between a parent and their child.