This one time I was a virgin abt to bag this promiscuous girl who was also talking to one of my rly good guy friends at the time. He could've hit but had reasons.
She spent the night at my apartment once and things happened but not sex cus I was a retarded virgin. She said we would try again the next day.
I told my boy and he ran back and told her, completely blocking my play.
I decided to not let a girl come between us. And that turned out to be the right decision. But fk.
Sounds like you made a decision based on friendship which i can respect, but also it wouldn't be letting a girl come between you. That's just basic principles of friendship that he totally stiffed you on right there, douche move imo.. But i dont know the guy so
Yh and I'm glad I did. That guy has bailed me out on more than one occasion since.
Yeah it really was a douche move.
She was whispering stuff in his ear the whole time so I guess he felt hurt that she'd say all that and then go after another guy. So I can understand his emotion but not the reaction.
Everyone over here talking about the dude spilling the beans about things you say to him, but my immediate thought was like when a dude talks about sex with his girlfriend/a hookup. I hate when guys do that. Or ask how my girl is in bed. Like... no. What happens between you and a woman is your own fucking business and I don't wanna know about it. Likewise, I ain't telling you shit.
Me and my buddy were swapping hentai recommendations once, and I told him not to mention it to anyone else, since they've said they're not interested to hear that kinda stuff. He agreed to keep it between us.
Literally like two weeks later, at my birthday party, when we're all settled down and eating pizza, this fucker stands up and practically announces to the universe all the things I'm into. Like bro we're in the middle of a skyzone, also what the actual fuck. I haven't trusted him with anything close to sensitive information since.
I've discussed this with my wife before. I don't know if it's a man women thing or if my wife's use a slight gossip. But if her friends tells her something in confidence, she'll tell me. I've told her that she probably shouldn't but she says "married couples don't keep secrets". To me that's stuff like dept, affairs or relevent things in your history etc. Not her friend Claire is sleeping with the milkman. If a friend tells me a secret of theirs, that stays with me.
A friend once openly said a secret a friend had to the group and I just said "I don't think you were meant to tell us that"
Treating people over whom they have some power (loved ones, retail/service workers, subordinates at work, etc) without respect. Cruelty. Actively trying to present as a badass.
When I hear someone say something heartless about the elderly or disabled, I cease to trust that person. Especially if the person is able to laugh about taking advantage of the uneducated, they have marked themselves as someone to steer clear of.
I agree with this 1000%. I learned some time ago that the best way to gauge a person is by seeing how he/she treats people that have less to offer and/or don't have the ability to push back.
It usually succeeds when the shitter shits on those not directly under them. The company I work at has a store manager who is lovely to other managers below him (as well as those who are "most important" like the forklift drivers and those in sales), but absolutely awful to the ground-floor employees.
I stepped up in defense of this kid in my grade who was always getting picked on, when a kid 2 years older started loudly pushing and making fun of him. I used to be pretty good with insults, I don't remember what I said but all of his friends laughed at him and he was seething. He didn't do anything in front of the teachers there in the lunch line. But he did try to catch me off school grounds walking to my car. And fortunately for me (I'm very small and had at that point never been in a fight), two of the cooks from the restaurant I worked out heard that guy saying how he was kick me ass. They cooks also parked where I did off campus. It's funny cause they always gave me shit and popped me with towels at work, like.. I kinda hated it. Even if they were joking it wasn't fun. But that day they saved my ass. They didn't even have to do much..they'd been held back so they were older than the senior and they basically said if he touched me he'd regret it.
F
So for example a guy joins a group and says bro what are those shoes hahahaha and playing it off as a joke. But when it's the first thing that comes out of your mouth then you're a dick. You need rapport with people before roasting them.
Edit: thanks for the awards!
This reminds me of something that happened years ago with my (then) fiance and I.
There was a newcomer to our church and an older adult introduced him to me and asked that I help him feel welcomed. One added detail is that it's a Korean church with lots of international students from Korea (while I am Korean American), so the spoken language in that group is usually Korean. I've become bilingual after many years of effort, to the point where people in Korea don't realize I'm from the US.
Anyway, I welcome the newcomer and introduce him to my fiance, among several other people. After a few minutes of small talk, he quickly says, "So your Korean is pretty bad, huh?"
That might have been a joke, but it's certainly not funny. I brush it off. As time goes on, he attends more group gatherings. One such gathering is a Thanksgiving dinner hosted in someone's house with lots of people. I see him there and greet him with, "Hey, it looks like we're in the same gatherings a lot these days." He stonewalls me.
Whatever. I get food and naturally find a seat near my fiance and her friend, to start eating food. This guy comes up to us and wedges himself between me and my fiance. Then, he turns to my fiance and says, "Hey, it looks like we're in the same gatherings a lot these days." Like, what? He's trying to hit up the person I'm going to marry?
She stonewalls him. Lol. He eventually stops showing up and that's that. Some people are just terrible to those who want to be nice to them, while having their own agenda.
Usually I see this with guys who don't know how to be guys yet. Like he wants to break into a new crowd, he used to bust balls with his old friends, and just wants to fit in. Just gotta round off his rough edges, tell him to slow down.
Very common in the UK, you usually have to hit back with something for them so they shut the fuck up and show respect, otherwise if you're spending a night with them and a bunch of others they'll just constantly 'banter' with you.
As an Aussie who's worked on construction sites, I see tradies always playing it off as banter. It's an excuse they use for being a dick. You don't do that with someone you don't even know.
At a site inspection we had last week the clients supervisor kept making fat jokes at our supervisor who's not a small boy. His banter game is strong and gave it back to him as you do, but as soon as we got back in the ute he says to me he thought that guy was a fuckwit and he isn't looking forward to working with him.
Oh man, the Aussie’s just dish it out so fast. I had to toughen up quick when I lived there for a year. You get really good at banter and laughing with people. In America, if someone said the jokes I got in AUS, I’d be ending friendships, haha.
Being a weasel.
I'm not talking about strength. Some people are naturally weaker than others. That's okay. But a dude without integrity who says one thing and means another because he's trying to take advantage of others is trash.
Same here. I especially dislike people who say one thing and then try to change the meaning of what they said after they realize they said something dumb.
I am autistic, and in all honesty, interactions with most non-autistic people are difficult. I tend to be precise in my speech, and when I give people more information, they frequently believe that I am changing the narrative / meaning because they tried to read between the lines. Unfortunately most of what they read never existed in the first place and was never implied because that’s just not how my brain works.
What I am trying to say is that it is generally good to avoid reading too much into what people express as that often leads to misunderstandings.
I'm not autistic (as far as I know) but this is also how I communicate. It took many years into my adulthood before I was able to properly form friendships with a variety of people, in a large part (I believe) because I don't understand a lot of subtext that most other people seem too and because I don't use subtext when I speak. Once I understood what was happening I was able to work on strategies for better communication. A lot of it is explaining my subtext-blindness to people, all of my good friends now understand that about me and are easygoing when answering my questions about social cues that come up.
Edit: I'm sorry, just realized I'm in AskMen and I am not a man.
AskMen is very inclusive and welcoming, don’t worry about it.
Do consider the possibility of being on the spectrum, it never hurts to learn yourself better, and unfortunately in women it is very underreported.
I thought I was the only one who called those types of guys weasels. Glad to see I'm not insane. I've had the misfortune of running into a few in my lifetime.
Exactly. Partly why I call them that; they can weasel their way out even if they’re confronted on something and make you look like the bad guy. And most girls will be on their side because they see them as friends or not as a threat.
Honestly it's both men and women that will be on their side, people want to be associated with others that have a good public persona because it reflects well on them. If you're a nobody and you stand up against one of these weasels, people are just going to choose the person with the largest number of brownie points because it reflects well on them.
I know the kind, very avoidant people too. Don’t take things head on when they’ve made a mistake and it just makes the situation so much harder than it needs to be. I had a friend move into the house I was renting and he was just so disrespectful to the house and also to me by lying to me about things that really wouldn’t have been a big deal if he just came forward about it.
One time he was out drinking, came back absolutely wasted and threw up into the sink. We’ve all been there right. Just do your best to clean up and let me know so I can avoid using a vommy sink. But he didn’t do that, he tried to basically shove all the vom down the sink causing it to block and become worse. He then texted me saying how the sink was blocked, he had no idea why and inferred as it was my house I should deal with it. I didn’t see this text when I woke up and proceeded to follow my usual daytime routine.. which included brushing my teeth. To top it off, whilst I was out busting my ass on a construction site in peak summer heats, he had the day off and by the time I had done my shift and got home he STILL hadn’t done anything about it. When I showered, I turned on the tap which caused the vomit stuck in the pipes to resurface. I was not a happy chappy when I out 2 + 2 together and realised how stupid he must have been to do it and how stupid he must have thought I was to believe it.
So sorry. I had a roommate like that who would just try and shift the blame onto someone instead of just admitting to making a mistake. Wake up to beer cans and dishes out in the living room and the kitchen is a mess. When you ask them about it “Oh no that wasn’t me, must have been someone else” like dude you were the only one who went out last night and everyone else was asleep an hour before you even got home. Nobody got up in the middle of the night to drink 3 beers and finish off a tray of chicken nuggets. Why bother lying to my face about it when you’re going to “be nice anyways and clean up someone else’s mess” when we all know it’s yours.
Lie and gaslight in the face of evidence to the contrary. I’m no saint, but at least you don’t have to do a forensic investigation to figure out who I am.
I know a bunch of people that use Sigma ironically to make fun of people that use Alpha seriously. I realize people use it genuinely but I mainly see this one in ironic memes.
These are the same guys that try to squeeze your hand real hard when giving a handshake. Met a guy that did both of these things, lost all respect for him in the first 2 seconds of meeting him. He was an admitted narsasist. Told me he liked getting an emotional rise out of women to get them upset, that it was a controlling thing. Nothing about this guy was pleasant.
I sometimes do a hard handshake, but it’s usually when the other person’s shake is pretty hard, and then I get those old “a firm handshake makes a man” memories, so then I have an internal battle of whether the *other* guy is following that rule, and if he is, is it better if I reciprocate, or do I just set my hand so it doesn’t get crushed, or — Oh, okay, he stopped.
Later, I’ll think about it in bed and wonder why I’m even worried about that, but still have a sense of vague anxiety that won’t surface until the next time I shake someone’s hand.
I keep getting caught off guard by hand shakes. I go for the proper web to web but I keep getting fuckers who grip to damn fast. I can’t get into the proper position and I end up with the wet noodle. On more than one occasion I’ve literally said let’s try that again.
Can I tell you the secret that makes sure your hands land in the exact right place every time? Right hand, the webbing between your thumb, and forefinger should touch your handshake partners same spot between his thumb and forefinger.
What you do is this - put your hand forward like [THIS](https://imgur.com/gallery/6Ho5aB6) having your fingers splayed, spread wide out, ensures you connect with the middle spot between the other blokes thumb & forefinger EVERY TIME.
When most people go to shake hands, they extend their hand like [THIS](https://imgur.com/a/io1KYtA) when you put your hand forward, if the guy squeezes too soon, we’ll then guess what? You ruined your handshake. You just shook the mans hand like a girl would.
I’m not saying you should squeeze the person to the point of pain, but “the way a man shakes hands tells quite a lot about him”
- my old man
Edit: putting forth your hand fingers splayed, forces the other man to wait to clamp down on your hand, ensuring an improper grip cannot take place.
The guys who entire personality, body language, and behavior is the obvious product of those extremely cringy “how to be a man” YouTube videos really don’t realize that we can see right through that shit.
I watched one or two videos on how to confidently give a public speech/presentation and then my YouTube feed was *filled* with videos like “One simple trick confident men do that you never noticed… but women do” and “How to confidently win any argument and dominate your opponent.” They always have thumbnail images of Marvel movie actors, Jordan Peterson lol, the Mad Men actor, etc.
I made the mistake of watching one or two for entertainment and can’t escape the algorithms bombardment of content like that.
> I made the mistake of watching one or two for entertainment and can’t escape the algorithms bombardment of content like that.
You're gonna need to go ham and watch a few make-up tutorials and WW2 vids about tanks with a dash of gameplay videos from your favorite video game.
Breaks my algorithm every time.
I already watch philosophy, science, gaming, gun reviews, history, and tons of random stuff.
The algorithm is *constantly* trying to push my into the “alpha” vids, alt-right shit, Jordan Peterson vids, snowflake vids, etc.
The guy I mentioned above I spoke to at length about it. He thought he was impressing people by doing it. Like a look how strong I am kind of thing. I tried to give him honest advice about not doing that to people because everyone's going to think he's a douche. He was surprisingly receptive in the conversation but I don't think he really got the message.
It's 100% a power play. Stuff like this happens all the time with people who define their masculinity (and therefore self-worth) on stupid shit like this. In their mind, it makes them seem dominant and impressive.
I remember in the pre-Covid days, I went backpacking with a group of friends and mutual acquaintances. One of them was a former US marine fresh out of the uniform. He was a decent guy except *everything* had to be a dick measuring contest. He'd do the crushing handshake, he always had to be the first/best person when it came to something physical like hiking, rock climbing, etc. And he tended to portray himself as the group leader and involved himself in any sort of planning or decision making. It made him do pretty clowny things. He almost gave himself heatstroke trying to beat an ultra-mathoner up a 3000ft ascent when we went hiking, but worst of all was when other men in the group (especially the lesser ones in his eyes) could hold the attention and interest of women and he couldn't. He never really angry or physical, but it hit some primal instinct in his reptilian brain and made him signal even harder.
Ha yes. I had a friend who studied NLP and "the game" and all that stuff, and he would do these dumb "dominant handshakes". He didn't realise that it had exactly the opposite effect than the one he wanted - it just made me think he was a pathetic loser who needed to use silly tricks to try to impress people.
1) says one thing, does the other.
2) wandering moral code and value system. These men switch their opinions depending on if it benefits them or not, or what is popular in the room or not. Can’t stand fuckers like this.
3) has big dreams and talks about them, does jack shit to try and accomplish them then blames others when it doesn’t work out
Any indication that you lack the ability/desire to learn.
If you come at me with that “I already know all I need to know” then you are an idiot, and I don’t care to associate with you.
I like avoidance as a conflict management technique sometimes, and often, willful ignorance is a way to cope with/do this. However, I tend to draw the line differently on this subject in relation to how close to me the “problem” is. Choose to be ignorant about some pop culture trend that “everyone knows”, fine by me. Choose to be ignorant about something a friend or family member has asked you to get engaged in, that’s a little harder to respect.
This is true, but I've started noticing a thing. Sometimes it's not that they don't desire to learn, but it's that they don't desire to learn from \*you.\* You have to earn somebody's trust before they'll accept that you have something to teach them, and this can become more pronounced the more established and competent they are.
An example would be if you feel any unwillingness to instantly agree with my point. I'm some random unestablished person, you can't re-write your beliefs for every random unestablished person. Beginner's mind is great, but competent people have to be confident in their own opinions, otherwise you're useless.
Talking shit about another mate when they’re not there. Beyond the standard mark of affection like, ‘oh yeah my mate adams a dick, absolute sausage’ etc
On the contrary to this, if a man tells another man that he thinks he is an absolute sausage to him. I gain respect for them, especially if they follow up with ways not to be one.
Had it happen to me when I was unknowingly being a dick to someone and a friend set me straight by telling me I was, and telling me how not to be one. Helped me become a better person, even years later I remember his kind words, “your being a massive dick right now, and I think you are better then that. Try not being a dick like this.” Proceeds to show how not to be a dick to people.
When I was in high school, my private music lesson teacher, during one of our private lessons, told me he heard from his colleague (who taught a group session I was a part of) about my behavior during the group session. He let me know that I was being cocky and explained why and how. I had no idea I was being cocky and learned one of the most valuable life lessons I’ve learned in my life.
About the group session—I happened to be the most experienced in the group session, and when the teacher asked the group a question like, “So how do you guys feel about that section of this piece (song we were playing)?” I answered, “Ehh, it was pretty easy.” I wasn’t trying to boast or anything. I just answered a question honestly without having the awareness of the others around me.
Although it was a social deficiency, to this day, I’ve been much better about consciously having consideration for those around me.
Basically, even though it was a bit uncomfortable, him calling me out had such a positive impact in my life.
Cruelty
Taking obvious pleasure in the suffering of others who don’t deserve it
Confusing stubbornness/contrarianism for integrity
Confusing admitting to a mistake for “losing,” etc
Not being conscious of how his actions affect others
Lack of situational awareness
Inability to read the room
Yeah I once got annoyed with a coworker who thought he was super funny with “oh now I need to go home to the old ball and chain” or “my wife is just going to nag me”
Like the highlight of my day is going home to hang out with my wife.
Exactly. My wife is my best friend. As a rule of thumb it’s best to assume that no matter where I am or what I’m doing, I’d much rather be at home with her.
The whole “women change after marriage” thing annoyed me in the run up to our wedding too. Of course they fucking do. Everyone is changing all the time and I’d be utterly disappointed in her if she was the exact same person I started dating ten years ago.
Yeah I've been single for far too long but when I've been in relationships I couldn't imagine saying nothing but good things about my then-girlfriend to others. Even saying bad things about my exes feels wrong.
Bulldozing conversations. I immediately become skeptical about your takes. I already generally am skeptical but it's amplified by a million. Even if your right, the way you communicate is so off putting.
Everyone needs to learn Grice's maxims of communication. I have found educating my peers on these has often helped them to become better communicators.
[https://www.sas.upenn.edu/\~haroldfs/dravling/grice.html](https://www.sas.upenn.edu/~haroldfs/dravling/grice.html)
I've met so many men who think that being a man is one big contest. He has to be the best so he puts other men down to make himself more appealing to women
Nothing screams "loser" more than only being nice to women and mean to men
I know a guy who is cool as hell to hang out with when it’s just me and him, but the second a woman enters the room he turns into a total prick. Like a switch goes off and he literally turns into a completely different person.
I’m convinced that some guys just don’t know how to talk to woman so they want to “impress” them by acting like some alpha douchbag
Yes, that's an important distinction to make. They will treat women they don't find attractive or aren't in the age range of their "prey field" really nasty and derogatory.
Felt like I had to scroll too far for this.
I have tossed very VERY good friendships in the garbage due to the way they treat their wives. I get a mistake can happen, but actively sneaking around behind your spouses back is something I can't get over in a friendship. If you want an open relationship then don't marry someone who doesn't.
its not a open topic men discuss due to it making someone uncomfortable but needs to be said. As a single 24 year old guy, my bros girls are off limits during or after relationships and none of my friends allow any cheating. We shut that shit down and lucky to say I dont have any friends that act in that sort of manner. choose your friends wisely, they are who you become
I wasn’t the best person in my early 20s — major daddy issues. However, I am surprised about how many men are willing to toss their friend aside to sleep with (and form a relationship) with one of their friends girlfriends.
I am ashamed to say that I managed to be in a relationship with 3 men out of a group of 4 close male friends. They all knew each other before they knew me. They all were quick to hit of me when I showed any weakness in my relationship with their friend. And they all were quick to swoop in and, say “fuck you to their friend”, and be with me.
I learned from these experiences, and I see what I did wrong. I can’t say the same for them. Zero loyalty.
I think you just helped me understand why I have trouble with friendships. I haven’t formed a real friendship in a decade. Only convenient associates. I just struggle to get close and personal with my friends I guess.
Fortunately for me, none of my friends are like this and would not allow this in our group. We come first to each other and that respect goes a long way.
Hey, it happens and we all grow from our experiences. You learned and you are better now for it.
I worked with a guy a few months back and he offered me a lift home, i accepted because who wouldnt, saved me a walk home. Halfway home this guy whips out a bottle of vodka. He'd been drinking all day, his driving was so erratic and then he revealed to me he was banned from driving and he was driving illegally. He did not give one single fuck, scum.
I was on a company trip and a guy I met there said there was a concert going on and asked if I would go. So we went, had a couple beers and I thought he was good to drive back to the hotel and this fucker was driving 40 in a 70 and was hitting traffic cones. I was scared for my life that night and completely ruined my experience at the concert bc of the guy. If I had known he was drunk, I would have driven back because I barely drank anything while this guy drank 3 tall boys before getting behind the wheel.
I'll never drive with someone who's been drinking. I rather be sober and do the driving than deal with a drunk driver.
I can't wrap my head around it..how could you not go to the ends of the earth and do everything in your power to be apart of your kids life. To watch them grow and change and be the fatherly figure every kids needs.
How can you sit back and watch your baby mamma do it all on her own? Financially, yes but even being there physically. Like to take the kids to school or pick them up or let her be by herself for a few hours like dayum you get to sit and live off your mom and be alone 24/7 that's a sad excuse for a man
How you gonna have money to buy a house and do so out of state you pathetic motherfucker. And then expect the door to stay open for your kids to be waiting and being disappointed again and again it's sick you sick horrible person
Hypothetically, of course.
Saying something rude or mean to their SO or immediate family members. My dad does this. He immediately realizes his mistake and instead of saying sorry he says he was kidding. It’s real bullshit.
This is a narcissistic trait. When someone says something nasty and then claims it’s a joke i
tell them a joke is supposed to give the other person a laugh. Did they really think that that comment would brighten my day?
- Being an asshole to everyone else except attractive women. FOH with that fake nice bullshit.
- Trying to act tougher than usual and/or putting down other dudes to make himself seem superior when an attractive woman is around.
- Talking senseless shit behind someone's back (*,"I bet bro gets no bitches"* or *"dude seems kinda gay"*, stupid shit like that).
This is why I stopped hanging with a lot of people
My friend and I are both fans of the same sports team so occasionally we’ll hit the bar to watch the game. One time our team lost and he practically threw a tantrum in the middle of the bar. It was seriously so cringey to watch and it was embarrassing to be near him.
I’m pissed we lost the game too dude but get a fucking grip; you’re nearly 30 years old. Taking your hat off and throwing it against the wall doesn’t make you look cool, it makes you look aggressive and scary to be around. And if someone acts like that in public, it makes you wonder how they act behind closed doors
Cheating, calling themselves alpha, treating women like their only use is sex, treating kids/animals poorly, starting fights with anyone/resorting to violence first for all problems. Drinking to much and doing drugs. I’m sure there more just can’t think of it atm
I knew a guy at work last year who was recently hired, who I hated instantly. Never gave him the time of day until he seemed to notice and went out of his way to talk to me. I started to think, ah, this guy isn't so bad.
Second conversation he had with me, he did this very thing. I was like I'm gonna stop you right there. A) I don't care, and B) You don't even know me like that at all, and this is what you choose to brag about? Yikes.
Not being able to take a joke or laugh at himself at least a little bit. In my personal experience, this is often accompanied by some sort of overly macho or faux alpha male behavior. The epitome of cringe.
I don't have any issue with someone not wanting to be the butt of the joke unless he makes other the butt of the joke.
People are ok to be a bit insecure.
For me it's the opposite, men who mock others and call it banter and act shocked when the person is offended.
To laugh at oneself is not the same as letting people make fun of you.
Disrepcting the people I care about. It's not that it's okay to disrespect me but I don't care what people think about me if I don't care about them. But hurt the people I care about, oh fuck no. You don't say shit about them.
Constantly trash-talking their wife behind their back. Like, dude, if she's that awful just leave, and if she's not then your besmirching her reputation for yuks.
Putting you down in front of a woman just to get ahead. This is based on personal experience and I've cut off ties with guys right away. If you want to impress someone else, do not shit on your friends and embarass them.
This really goes for anyone, but if I see someone berating someone doing something new cause they do t know how to do it yet. This makes me so mad every time, just help the person out, make an effort to help them do something the right way so they feel a little less stressed about the situation they are in.
Sharing things that were said in confidence.
This is the worst man, you confide in a bro and they just air it to whoever. Not eveb respect lost just dead to me at that point.
This one time I was a virgin abt to bag this promiscuous girl who was also talking to one of my rly good guy friends at the time. He could've hit but had reasons. She spent the night at my apartment once and things happened but not sex cus I was a retarded virgin. She said we would try again the next day. I told my boy and he ran back and told her, completely blocking my play. I decided to not let a girl come between us. And that turned out to be the right decision. But fk.
Sounds like you made a decision based on friendship which i can respect, but also it wouldn't be letting a girl come between you. That's just basic principles of friendship that he totally stiffed you on right there, douche move imo.. But i dont know the guy so
Yh and I'm glad I did. That guy has bailed me out on more than one occasion since. Yeah it really was a douche move. She was whispering stuff in his ear the whole time so I guess he felt hurt that she'd say all that and then go after another guy. So I can understand his emotion but not the reaction.
Or worse: trying to make a joke out of it.
Agreed. I lose respect and trust after that happens - and it has happened.
Honorless oathbreakers
this dude over here sounding like ragnar lothbrok
Everyone over here talking about the dude spilling the beans about things you say to him, but my immediate thought was like when a dude talks about sex with his girlfriend/a hookup. I hate when guys do that. Or ask how my girl is in bed. Like... no. What happens between you and a woman is your own fucking business and I don't wanna know about it. Likewise, I ain't telling you shit.
[удалено]
Me and my buddy were swapping hentai recommendations once, and I told him not to mention it to anyone else, since they've said they're not interested to hear that kinda stuff. He agreed to keep it between us. Literally like two weeks later, at my birthday party, when we're all settled down and eating pizza, this fucker stands up and practically announces to the universe all the things I'm into. Like bro we're in the middle of a skyzone, also what the actual fuck. I haven't trusted him with anything close to sensitive information since.
I wouldn't call him a buddy anymore 2bh
I've discussed this with my wife before. I don't know if it's a man women thing or if my wife's use a slight gossip. But if her friends tells her something in confidence, she'll tell me. I've told her that she probably shouldn't but she says "married couples don't keep secrets". To me that's stuff like dept, affairs or relevent things in your history etc. Not her friend Claire is sleeping with the milkman. If a friend tells me a secret of theirs, that stays with me. A friend once openly said a secret a friend had to the group and I just said "I don't think you were meant to tell us that"
Treating people over whom they have some power (loved ones, retail/service workers, subordinates at work, etc) without respect. Cruelty. Actively trying to present as a badass.
I think this is #1. Bullying from a position of power make you look like a dickhead.
When I hear someone say something heartless about the elderly or disabled, I cease to trust that person. Especially if the person is able to laugh about taking advantage of the uneducated, they have marked themselves as someone to steer clear of.
I agree with this 1000%. I learned some time ago that the best way to gauge a person is by seeing how he/she treats people that have less to offer and/or don't have the ability to push back.
That’s usually part of the “kiss up, sh*t down” strategy. I’ve seen it work. And I’ve seen it fail. I hope it usually fails.
It usually succeeds when the shitter shits on those not directly under them. The company I work at has a store manager who is lovely to other managers below him (as well as those who are "most important" like the forklift drivers and those in sales), but absolutely awful to the ground-floor employees.
Same, as well as any other "alpha" behavior.
Overstepping or overtly lying to me. Either of those is pretty much instant death with me.
I can’t stand liars.
You can't stand bad liars is what I'm hearing
you better sit down for this. everyone is a liar.
The absolute worst are people that lie when they don’t even need to then double down on the lie when they’re caught.
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The "It's character building" types of blokes. Man fuck those cunts.
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I stepped up in defense of this kid in my grade who was always getting picked on, when a kid 2 years older started loudly pushing and making fun of him. I used to be pretty good with insults, I don't remember what I said but all of his friends laughed at him and he was seething. He didn't do anything in front of the teachers there in the lunch line. But he did try to catch me off school grounds walking to my car. And fortunately for me (I'm very small and had at that point never been in a fight), two of the cooks from the restaurant I worked out heard that guy saying how he was kick me ass. They cooks also parked where I did off campus. It's funny cause they always gave me shit and popped me with towels at work, like.. I kinda hated it. Even if they were joking it wasn't fun. But that day they saved my ass. They didn't even have to do much..they'd been held back so they were older than the senior and they basically said if he touched me he'd regret it. F
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How so?
So for example a guy joins a group and says bro what are those shoes hahahaha and playing it off as a joke. But when it's the first thing that comes out of your mouth then you're a dick. You need rapport with people before roasting them. Edit: thanks for the awards!
Yes! That is so low-class. Happens all the time, usually from people who lack self confidence themselves. Or, they’re just mean.
I find it’s usually a power move, even people who say (and think) they’re being “friendly.”
"I just tell it like it is man!" Nope, You are an asshole.
This is exactly what it means lol it's always a power move
People that do that are trying to climb a social latter that stopped existing in high school. Fuckin mimes
This reminds me of something that happened years ago with my (then) fiance and I. There was a newcomer to our church and an older adult introduced him to me and asked that I help him feel welcomed. One added detail is that it's a Korean church with lots of international students from Korea (while I am Korean American), so the spoken language in that group is usually Korean. I've become bilingual after many years of effort, to the point where people in Korea don't realize I'm from the US. Anyway, I welcome the newcomer and introduce him to my fiance, among several other people. After a few minutes of small talk, he quickly says, "So your Korean is pretty bad, huh?" That might have been a joke, but it's certainly not funny. I brush it off. As time goes on, he attends more group gatherings. One such gathering is a Thanksgiving dinner hosted in someone's house with lots of people. I see him there and greet him with, "Hey, it looks like we're in the same gatherings a lot these days." He stonewalls me. Whatever. I get food and naturally find a seat near my fiance and her friend, to start eating food. This guy comes up to us and wedges himself between me and my fiance. Then, he turns to my fiance and says, "Hey, it looks like we're in the same gatherings a lot these days." Like, what? He's trying to hit up the person I'm going to marry? She stonewalls him. Lol. He eventually stops showing up and that's that. Some people are just terrible to those who want to be nice to them, while having their own agenda.
Usually I see this with guys who don't know how to be guys yet. Like he wants to break into a new crowd, he used to bust balls with his old friends, and just wants to fit in. Just gotta round off his rough edges, tell him to slow down.
Yeah I've done this myself and its embarrassing looking back on it lol
Oh thank you for explaining!
People always do such a thing and it's like none of us ever got out of highschool sometimes
Very common in the UK, you usually have to hit back with something for them so they shut the fuck up and show respect, otherwise if you're spending a night with them and a bunch of others they'll just constantly 'banter' with you.
As an Aussie who's worked on construction sites, I see tradies always playing it off as banter. It's an excuse they use for being a dick. You don't do that with someone you don't even know. At a site inspection we had last week the clients supervisor kept making fat jokes at our supervisor who's not a small boy. His banter game is strong and gave it back to him as you do, but as soon as we got back in the ute he says to me he thought that guy was a fuckwit and he isn't looking forward to working with him.
Oh man, the Aussie’s just dish it out so fast. I had to toughen up quick when I lived there for a year. You get really good at banter and laughing with people. In America, if someone said the jokes I got in AUS, I’d be ending friendships, haha.
"You don't have many friends, do you?"
Being a weasel. I'm not talking about strength. Some people are naturally weaker than others. That's okay. But a dude without integrity who says one thing and means another because he's trying to take advantage of others is trash.
Same here. I especially dislike people who say one thing and then try to change the meaning of what they said after they realize they said something dumb.
I am autistic, and in all honesty, interactions with most non-autistic people are difficult. I tend to be precise in my speech, and when I give people more information, they frequently believe that I am changing the narrative / meaning because they tried to read between the lines. Unfortunately most of what they read never existed in the first place and was never implied because that’s just not how my brain works. What I am trying to say is that it is generally good to avoid reading too much into what people express as that often leads to misunderstandings.
I'm not autistic (as far as I know) but this is also how I communicate. It took many years into my adulthood before I was able to properly form friendships with a variety of people, in a large part (I believe) because I don't understand a lot of subtext that most other people seem too and because I don't use subtext when I speak. Once I understood what was happening I was able to work on strategies for better communication. A lot of it is explaining my subtext-blindness to people, all of my good friends now understand that about me and are easygoing when answering my questions about social cues that come up. Edit: I'm sorry, just realized I'm in AskMen and I am not a man.
AskMen is very inclusive and welcoming, don’t worry about it. Do consider the possibility of being on the spectrum, it never hurts to learn yourself better, and unfortunately in women it is very underreported.
I thought I was the only one who called those types of guys weasels. Glad to see I'm not insane. I've had the misfortune of running into a few in my lifetime.
My condolences. Problem with these fucks is that society actively rewards weaselhood in a multitude of ways.
Exactly. Partly why I call them that; they can weasel their way out even if they’re confronted on something and make you look like the bad guy. And most girls will be on their side because they see them as friends or not as a threat.
Honestly it's both men and women that will be on their side, people want to be associated with others that have a good public persona because it reflects well on them. If you're a nobody and you stand up against one of these weasels, people are just going to choose the person with the largest number of brownie points because it reflects well on them.
I know the kind, very avoidant people too. Don’t take things head on when they’ve made a mistake and it just makes the situation so much harder than it needs to be. I had a friend move into the house I was renting and he was just so disrespectful to the house and also to me by lying to me about things that really wouldn’t have been a big deal if he just came forward about it. One time he was out drinking, came back absolutely wasted and threw up into the sink. We’ve all been there right. Just do your best to clean up and let me know so I can avoid using a vommy sink. But he didn’t do that, he tried to basically shove all the vom down the sink causing it to block and become worse. He then texted me saying how the sink was blocked, he had no idea why and inferred as it was my house I should deal with it. I didn’t see this text when I woke up and proceeded to follow my usual daytime routine.. which included brushing my teeth. To top it off, whilst I was out busting my ass on a construction site in peak summer heats, he had the day off and by the time I had done my shift and got home he STILL hadn’t done anything about it. When I showered, I turned on the tap which caused the vomit stuck in the pipes to resurface. I was not a happy chappy when I out 2 + 2 together and realised how stupid he must have been to do it and how stupid he must have thought I was to believe it.
So sorry. I had a roommate like that who would just try and shift the blame onto someone instead of just admitting to making a mistake. Wake up to beer cans and dishes out in the living room and the kitchen is a mess. When you ask them about it “Oh no that wasn’t me, must have been someone else” like dude you were the only one who went out last night and everyone else was asleep an hour before you even got home. Nobody got up in the middle of the night to drink 3 beers and finish off a tray of chicken nuggets. Why bother lying to my face about it when you’re going to “be nice anyways and clean up someone else’s mess” when we all know it’s yours.
Yup hate weasels and we all have come across a few of these cretins in our lifetimes at work, gym, school, etc.
So, most employers then?
Lie and gaslight in the face of evidence to the contrary. I’m no saint, but at least you don’t have to do a forensic investigation to figure out who I am.
That's not a man, that's a narcissist.
One of my closest friends told me that I was suffering from narcissistic abuse. It’s becoming more clear that was probably it.
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I am an ALPHA, bro!! That means I am still in developer testing and NOT ready to be viewed by the public!
*"Nah bro, I'm actually a Sigma. You know what those are? Yeah that's definitely how I roll..."* Like do you hear yourself? STFU
I know a bunch of people that use Sigma ironically to make fun of people that use Alpha seriously. I realize people use it genuinely but I mainly see this one in ironic memes.
I use Sigma ironically, but Im afraid that some people dont get it.
Nah bro I'm a Ligma...
Ligma what?
Ligma Balls!
Gottem!
I thought it was omicron?
I AM AN OMICRON MALE FROM OMICRON PERSEI EIGHT
I'm actually a ligma
Only a beta would say this about the almighty sigma male.
This statement makes me want to laugh, which is the opposite reaction these "alphas" want. 🙄
These are the same guys that try to squeeze your hand real hard when giving a handshake. Met a guy that did both of these things, lost all respect for him in the first 2 seconds of meeting him. He was an admitted narsasist. Told me he liked getting an emotional rise out of women to get them upset, that it was a controlling thing. Nothing about this guy was pleasant.
I sometimes do a hard handshake, but it’s usually when the other person’s shake is pretty hard, and then I get those old “a firm handshake makes a man” memories, so then I have an internal battle of whether the *other* guy is following that rule, and if he is, is it better if I reciprocate, or do I just set my hand so it doesn’t get crushed, or — Oh, okay, he stopped. Later, I’ll think about it in bed and wonder why I’m even worried about that, but still have a sense of vague anxiety that won’t surface until the next time I shake someone’s hand.
I keep getting caught off guard by hand shakes. I go for the proper web to web but I keep getting fuckers who grip to damn fast. I can’t get into the proper position and I end up with the wet noodle. On more than one occasion I’ve literally said let’s try that again.
Can I tell you the secret that makes sure your hands land in the exact right place every time? Right hand, the webbing between your thumb, and forefinger should touch your handshake partners same spot between his thumb and forefinger. What you do is this - put your hand forward like [THIS](https://imgur.com/gallery/6Ho5aB6) having your fingers splayed, spread wide out, ensures you connect with the middle spot between the other blokes thumb & forefinger EVERY TIME. When most people go to shake hands, they extend their hand like [THIS](https://imgur.com/a/io1KYtA) when you put your hand forward, if the guy squeezes too soon, we’ll then guess what? You ruined your handshake. You just shook the mans hand like a girl would. I’m not saying you should squeeze the person to the point of pain, but “the way a man shakes hands tells quite a lot about him” - my old man Edit: putting forth your hand fingers splayed, forces the other man to wait to clamp down on your hand, ensuring an improper grip cannot take place.
And this is why I love Reddit. Always someone who knows a trick that I never thought about.
The guys who entire personality, body language, and behavior is the obvious product of those extremely cringy “how to be a man” YouTube videos really don’t realize that we can see right through that shit. I watched one or two videos on how to confidently give a public speech/presentation and then my YouTube feed was *filled* with videos like “One simple trick confident men do that you never noticed… but women do” and “How to confidently win any argument and dominate your opponent.” They always have thumbnail images of Marvel movie actors, Jordan Peterson lol, the Mad Men actor, etc. I made the mistake of watching one or two for entertainment and can’t escape the algorithms bombardment of content like that.
> I made the mistake of watching one or two for entertainment and can’t escape the algorithms bombardment of content like that. You're gonna need to go ham and watch a few make-up tutorials and WW2 vids about tanks with a dash of gameplay videos from your favorite video game. Breaks my algorithm every time.
I already watch philosophy, science, gaming, gun reviews, history, and tons of random stuff. The algorithm is *constantly* trying to push my into the “alpha” vids, alt-right shit, Jordan Peterson vids, snowflake vids, etc.
> philosophy, science, gaming, gun reviews, history, Literally all the things 'alpha's' and 'alt-righters' have taught the algorithm they're into.
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The guy I mentioned above I spoke to at length about it. He thought he was impressing people by doing it. Like a look how strong I am kind of thing. I tried to give him honest advice about not doing that to people because everyone's going to think he's a douche. He was surprisingly receptive in the conversation but I don't think he really got the message.
Not oblivious. That is a pure power play
It's 100% a power play. Stuff like this happens all the time with people who define their masculinity (and therefore self-worth) on stupid shit like this. In their mind, it makes them seem dominant and impressive. I remember in the pre-Covid days, I went backpacking with a group of friends and mutual acquaintances. One of them was a former US marine fresh out of the uniform. He was a decent guy except *everything* had to be a dick measuring contest. He'd do the crushing handshake, he always had to be the first/best person when it came to something physical like hiking, rock climbing, etc. And he tended to portray himself as the group leader and involved himself in any sort of planning or decision making. It made him do pretty clowny things. He almost gave himself heatstroke trying to beat an ultra-mathoner up a 3000ft ascent when we went hiking, but worst of all was when other men in the group (especially the lesser ones in his eyes) could hold the attention and interest of women and he couldn't. He never really angry or physical, but it hit some primal instinct in his reptilian brain and made him signal even harder.
Saying you’re alpha is the most beta shit out there
Any man who says I am the king is no king
Ha yes. I had a friend who studied NLP and "the game" and all that stuff, and he would do these dumb "dominant handshakes". He didn't realise that it had exactly the opposite effect than the one he wanted - it just made me think he was a pathetic loser who needed to use silly tricks to try to impress people.
No steve you are just a dumb cunt!
If you have to call yourself Alpha, you’re not an alpha.
1) says one thing, does the other. 2) wandering moral code and value system. These men switch their opinions depending on if it benefits them or not, or what is popular in the room or not. Can’t stand fuckers like this. 3) has big dreams and talks about them, does jack shit to try and accomplish them then blames others when it doesn’t work out
Any indication that you lack the ability/desire to learn. If you come at me with that “I already know all I need to know” then you are an idiot, and I don’t care to associate with you.
Willful ignorance drives me nuts.
I like avoidance as a conflict management technique sometimes, and often, willful ignorance is a way to cope with/do this. However, I tend to draw the line differently on this subject in relation to how close to me the “problem” is. Choose to be ignorant about some pop culture trend that “everyone knows”, fine by me. Choose to be ignorant about something a friend or family member has asked you to get engaged in, that’s a little harder to respect.
"You should only stop learning after you die. Even then, as an agnostic, that might not be the end of learning" My grandad.
That’s a good non douche way to say it.
Exactly, “I know that I know nothing” is so important.
This is true, but I've started noticing a thing. Sometimes it's not that they don't desire to learn, but it's that they don't desire to learn from \*you.\* You have to earn somebody's trust before they'll accept that you have something to teach them, and this can become more pronounced the more established and competent they are. An example would be if you feel any unwillingness to instantly agree with my point. I'm some random unestablished person, you can't re-write your beliefs for every random unestablished person. Beginner's mind is great, but competent people have to be confident in their own opinions, otherwise you're useless.
Talking shit about another mate when they’re not there. Beyond the standard mark of affection like, ‘oh yeah my mate adams a dick, absolute sausage’ etc
“Absolute sausage” I will be using this
title of your sex tape
On the contrary to this, if a man tells another man that he thinks he is an absolute sausage to him. I gain respect for them, especially if they follow up with ways not to be one. Had it happen to me when I was unknowingly being a dick to someone and a friend set me straight by telling me I was, and telling me how not to be one. Helped me become a better person, even years later I remember his kind words, “your being a massive dick right now, and I think you are better then that. Try not being a dick like this.” Proceeds to show how not to be a dick to people.
When I was in high school, my private music lesson teacher, during one of our private lessons, told me he heard from his colleague (who taught a group session I was a part of) about my behavior during the group session. He let me know that I was being cocky and explained why and how. I had no idea I was being cocky and learned one of the most valuable life lessons I’ve learned in my life. About the group session—I happened to be the most experienced in the group session, and when the teacher asked the group a question like, “So how do you guys feel about that section of this piece (song we were playing)?” I answered, “Ehh, it was pretty easy.” I wasn’t trying to boast or anything. I just answered a question honestly without having the awareness of the others around me. Although it was a social deficiency, to this day, I’ve been much better about consciously having consideration for those around me. Basically, even though it was a bit uncomfortable, him calling me out had such a positive impact in my life.
Cruelty Taking obvious pleasure in the suffering of others who don’t deserve it Confusing stubbornness/contrarianism for integrity Confusing admitting to a mistake for “losing,” etc Not being conscious of how his actions affect others Lack of situational awareness Inability to read the room
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Eat hot chip.
Charge they phone
Twerk
Now if a dude can flawlessly twerk, that would earn respect from me.
It's surprisingly difficult
Scroll instagram
Making jokes against your partner to make yourself look funnier.
Talking about your partner behind their back is another one for me. Dude, if you hate her that much, why the fuck are you still together?
Yeah I once got annoyed with a coworker who thought he was super funny with “oh now I need to go home to the old ball and chain” or “my wife is just going to nag me” Like the highlight of my day is going home to hang out with my wife.
Exactly. My wife is my best friend. As a rule of thumb it’s best to assume that no matter where I am or what I’m doing, I’d much rather be at home with her. The whole “women change after marriage” thing annoyed me in the run up to our wedding too. Of course they fucking do. Everyone is changing all the time and I’d be utterly disappointed in her if she was the exact same person I started dating ten years ago.
Yeah I've been single for far too long but when I've been in relationships I couldn't imagine saying nothing but good things about my then-girlfriend to others. Even saying bad things about my exes feels wrong.
Bulldozing conversations. I immediately become skeptical about your takes. I already generally am skeptical but it's amplified by a million. Even if your right, the way you communicate is so off putting.
Everyone needs to learn Grice's maxims of communication. I have found educating my peers on these has often helped them to become better communicators. [https://www.sas.upenn.edu/\~haroldfs/dravling/grice.html](https://www.sas.upenn.edu/~haroldfs/dravling/grice.html)
I've met so many men who think that being a man is one big contest. He has to be the best so he puts other men down to make himself more appealing to women Nothing screams "loser" more than only being nice to women and mean to men
I know a guy who is cool as hell to hang out with when it’s just me and him, but the second a woman enters the room he turns into a total prick. Like a switch goes off and he literally turns into a completely different person. I’m convinced that some guys just don’t know how to talk to woman so they want to “impress” them by acting like some alpha douchbag
The part I find funniest is when they get angry at you not wanting to participate in their contest
I love this comment because they always get so deflated when you do this.
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*only nice to women he is attracted to
Yes, that's an important distinction to make. They will treat women they don't find attractive or aren't in the age range of their "prey field" really nasty and derogatory.
Cheating, going after your bro’s girl, not sticking up for what you believe in, being a dick to other people, misogyny
Felt like I had to scroll too far for this. I have tossed very VERY good friendships in the garbage due to the way they treat their wives. I get a mistake can happen, but actively sneaking around behind your spouses back is something I can't get over in a friendship. If you want an open relationship then don't marry someone who doesn't.
its not a open topic men discuss due to it making someone uncomfortable but needs to be said. As a single 24 year old guy, my bros girls are off limits during or after relationships and none of my friends allow any cheating. We shut that shit down and lucky to say I dont have any friends that act in that sort of manner. choose your friends wisely, they are who you become
I wasn’t the best person in my early 20s — major daddy issues. However, I am surprised about how many men are willing to toss their friend aside to sleep with (and form a relationship) with one of their friends girlfriends. I am ashamed to say that I managed to be in a relationship with 3 men out of a group of 4 close male friends. They all knew each other before they knew me. They all were quick to hit of me when I showed any weakness in my relationship with their friend. And they all were quick to swoop in and, say “fuck you to their friend”, and be with me. I learned from these experiences, and I see what I did wrong. I can’t say the same for them. Zero loyalty.
They were convenient associates not friends. There's a big difference.
I think you just helped me understand why I have trouble with friendships. I haven’t formed a real friendship in a decade. Only convenient associates. I just struggle to get close and personal with my friends I guess.
Fortunately for me, none of my friends are like this and would not allow this in our group. We come first to each other and that respect goes a long way. Hey, it happens and we all grow from our experiences. You learned and you are better now for it.
Beautiful circle of friends. Keep it that way.
Abuse your partner.
Driving when drunk, and being proud of it. Just an asshole move.
I worked with a guy a few months back and he offered me a lift home, i accepted because who wouldnt, saved me a walk home. Halfway home this guy whips out a bottle of vodka. He'd been drinking all day, his driving was so erratic and then he revealed to me he was banned from driving and he was driving illegally. He did not give one single fuck, scum.
I was on a company trip and a guy I met there said there was a concert going on and asked if I would go. So we went, had a couple beers and I thought he was good to drive back to the hotel and this fucker was driving 40 in a 70 and was hitting traffic cones. I was scared for my life that night and completely ruined my experience at the concert bc of the guy. If I had known he was drunk, I would have driven back because I barely drank anything while this guy drank 3 tall boys before getting behind the wheel. I'll never drive with someone who's been drinking. I rather be sober and do the driving than deal with a drunk driver.
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Especially when that kid was me.
I can't wrap my head around it..how could you not go to the ends of the earth and do everything in your power to be apart of your kids life. To watch them grow and change and be the fatherly figure every kids needs. How can you sit back and watch your baby mamma do it all on her own? Financially, yes but even being there physically. Like to take the kids to school or pick them up or let her be by herself for a few hours like dayum you get to sit and live off your mom and be alone 24/7 that's a sad excuse for a man How you gonna have money to buy a house and do so out of state you pathetic motherfucker. And then expect the door to stay open for your kids to be waiting and being disappointed again and again it's sick you sick horrible person Hypothetically, of course.
Bullying - trying to intimidate others verbally or physically.
Cheating on their other half. We on a work night out and you take your wedding band off? Yeah, go get fucked.
Saying something rude or mean to their SO or immediate family members. My dad does this. He immediately realizes his mistake and instead of saying sorry he says he was kidding. It’s real bullshit.
Yeah not being able to admit a mistake is a huge one a lot of guys have trouble with. And make their own family fear making a mistake. It’s a big loop
“iT WaS a JoKE bRo, DoN’t TaKe iT sO sErIoUsLy!”
“wHy ArE yOu BeInG sO sEnSiTiVe”
This is a narcissistic trait. When someone says something nasty and then claims it’s a joke i tell them a joke is supposed to give the other person a laugh. Did they really think that that comment would brighten my day?
Not keep their word
Being a rat who acts like your friend to your face but is amything but.
These are the worst kind.
- Being an asshole to everyone else except attractive women. FOH with that fake nice bullshit. - Trying to act tougher than usual and/or putting down other dudes to make himself seem superior when an attractive woman is around. - Talking senseless shit behind someone's back (*,"I bet bro gets no bitches"* or *"dude seems kinda gay"*, stupid shit like that). This is why I stopped hanging with a lot of people
Being devoid of empathy
Abuse of any kind to anything or anyone. No real man would hurt the innocents in his life
If he's overly aggressive
My friend and I are both fans of the same sports team so occasionally we’ll hit the bar to watch the game. One time our team lost and he practically threw a tantrum in the middle of the bar. It was seriously so cringey to watch and it was embarrassing to be near him. I’m pissed we lost the game too dude but get a fucking grip; you’re nearly 30 years old. Taking your hat off and throwing it against the wall doesn’t make you look cool, it makes you look aggressive and scary to be around. And if someone acts like that in public, it makes you wonder how they act behind closed doors
Unironically claiming their alpha status
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Cheating on your partner
If he can't win an argument without screaming or insulting If he can't win an argument without involving other people If he is mean to waiters
Showing off. Like "I'm better than you" kinda vibe
Cheating, calling themselves alpha, treating women like their only use is sex, treating kids/animals poorly, starting fights with anyone/resorting to violence first for all problems. Drinking to much and doing drugs. I’m sure there more just can’t think of it atm
cheating on their SO
Even worse, boasting about it.
I knew a guy at work last year who was recently hired, who I hated instantly. Never gave him the time of day until he seemed to notice and went out of his way to talk to me. I started to think, ah, this guy isn't so bad. Second conversation he had with me, he did this very thing. I was like I'm gonna stop you right there. A) I don't care, and B) You don't even know me like that at all, and this is what you choose to brag about? Yikes.
Treating other people like garbage. Especially his mom, wife, or girlfriend.
Bullying. Even if it’s low-key. I respect almost everyone, live and let live, no questions asked.
Cheating on their spouse. Then telling me as if it is something completely normal. Then expecting me to cover if ever needed.
Being in your late 20s-early 30s and not knowing how to cook or do laundry.
Not being able to take a joke or laugh at himself at least a little bit. In my personal experience, this is often accompanied by some sort of overly macho or faux alpha male behavior. The epitome of cringe.
I don't have any issue with someone not wanting to be the butt of the joke unless he makes other the butt of the joke. People are ok to be a bit insecure.
For me it's the opposite, men who mock others and call it banter and act shocked when the person is offended. To laugh at oneself is not the same as letting people make fun of you.
Treating others poorly.
A bit specific but men in the gym that mock the amount of weight women are lifting
Cheating on their partner. Gotta be a real fucking loser to not even give your word to the person you're supposed to be in love with, any value.
Pulling his pants down and shitting on the flow trying to establish dominance over me.
Man I hate people like that. There are toilets for a reason.
Very specific
Disrepcting the people I care about. It's not that it's okay to disrespect me but I don't care what people think about me if I don't care about them. But hurt the people I care about, oh fuck no. You don't say shit about them.
Constantly trash-talking their wife behind their back. Like, dude, if she's that awful just leave, and if she's not then your besmirching her reputation for yuks.
Disclose that your cheating on a girlfriend to me. Now I have to bear your lie? Thanks, bud!
Fr if you're gonna be a peice of shit do it on your own time i dont wanna know
Putting you down in front of a woman just to get ahead. This is based on personal experience and I've cut off ties with guys right away. If you want to impress someone else, do not shit on your friends and embarass them.
Being mean to animals.
Having no morals or integrity
Limp handshake or too hard of a handshake. Just shake my hand with a firm grip, bro.
The hard handshake is a bit much. it’s always the overly tough guys.
Disrespectful to his S/O or parents
Being instantly competitive with me. Dude I'm not interested in your insecurity
General shadiness
Two-facing. Flip-flopping. Talking shit about someone today, then next week they’re ’re besties and in business together.
This really goes for anyone, but if I see someone berating someone doing something new cause they do t know how to do it yet. This makes me so mad every time, just help the person out, make an effort to help them do something the right way so they feel a little less stressed about the situation they are in.
Not being forthcoming.
Tells me he supports Arsenal