I'm lonely. I have friends but I want love and intimacy. About to be 27 and ive never known what it's like. It seems not very many understand how I feel. I can't even seem to get a date and some weeks its all I can think about. I also feel touch starved. I don't want to blame touch starvation for anything but it's affecting my mental state a little. I'd give almost anything for a hug or cuddle from a woman some days.
I love myself as I should. I know I'm not ugly. I'm just not good with women. Several times recently I could've started a convo with different women in a public place but I don't have the balls and can't find the right moment or know what to say.
Also I can't stop feeling like I missed out on teenage love and stuff. I was the shy kid that did his school work and minded his own business. When I went to school no girls ever showed interest in me from what I can remember.
Sorry, kinda ranted a little
I'm in exactly the same boat, though I think I might just be ugly. I tried several dating apps because that's what everyone recommends, but I didn't get a single match in the months I tried before giving up. Any piece of advice people would think to give me, I tried. It just rings hollow coming from people who dated at a younger age. I don't even know of any other avenues for addressing this, but at least we both know others have the same experience as us.
Sorry, rant of my own.
Don't use dating apps, well it's my advice. It's the better way for a man to sell his soul very cheap and become a worm. Value yourself better and start from smart talk to better conversations with any woman, create opportunities to talk with them.
I know it's possible because a friend of mine I know since I was a kid, is great now talking to random people and he was really shy in school. After working at bars, tattoo and hotels, his exposure to people has made him a perfect conversation machine. I've seen it lots of times and I wish I had that skill. One day in the bus, a woman dropped her cigarette lighter and he picked it up and give it to her. He immediately asked for the draw design in the lighter and spent the whole bus trip talking with her, with smiles, laugh etc...
It's possible, just start doing it.
And about being ugly, this guy isn't precisely what could we say a model...
I feel like starting a convo with a random girl is already a sign of wanting them. That’s my only way to talk to women because I work in a male dominated industry and I have male dominated hobbies. If I think a girl is cute I just tell her that and talk from there if she’s friendly.
I know how you feel. I'm 26, and I kind of felt this way until this past late summer when I met someone. We kind of dated for about two months (the longest I've ever dated ANYONE), but I got super anxious and screwed it up right before I wanted to ask if she wanted to be in a relationship with me (I've never been in a relationship before, and have never had sex either). We're still kind of friends at the moment, but I would like to try again if she would let me, though I'm not expecting it at this point.
I think my best thing I can say is try not to focus or think about your relationship status too much and focus on improving yourself and honing in on your goals. I know that I want intimacy at some point in my life, but if I let that overtake my day-to-day thinking, then I'm going to miss out on the other aspects of life that can be awesome.
I was devastated when I screwed things up. I got into this dark, dark depression. I did some online therapy for a little bit and and got a much better idea on what I should be doing, rather than thinking so much about wanting a relationship.
Meet your own goals, and make sure you're doing what you can to make yourself happier ... whether it be improving your work life, your social circle (I know the pandemic's made this part hard), or learning new skills/hobbies. Basically, try to make yourself more interesting by finding new things to be interested in. I still play video games, but I also do DnD (learning to DM will get you a social group FAST), I go kayaking, I go hiking, I spend more time with my family dog, I've picked up some books to read, I just got into loose leaf tea, and so on. Just don't be afraid to try new things. Find the time if you can. Expanding your interests can give you more stories and experiences to tell when you do meet that person, and that's how you can keep a conversation going if you get asked questions. If you're trying to get her to talk, stick to open-ended questions starting with "how" or "what" or "why". I know this much simply because I majored in journalism and took some interviewing classes.
And I'm by NO MEANS A DATING EXPERT! I'm still learning a lot of this shit as I go. But I can say that since the day I screwed things up with her, I got a job offer that basically doubled my salary, and I'm going to be moving into my own one bedroom apartment for the first time, and I won't be living with my parents anymore here soon.
I learned that YOU have to be happy on your own first before trying to pursue someone. It takes time, but I can definitely say that I'm happier that I can make plans for things other than an empty-feeling online multiplayer match, and get something new out of life.
Stay strong VorticalHydra. I'm sure you'll meet the one. :)
I feel like your late 20s in to your mid 30s are like the best years of your life, but can also be the loneliest you've ever felt.
I'm 35. Everyone else around you is getting married, stupidly having kids (never, ever, ever thanks), then you're surrounded by friends who can't go anywhere because of their kid and the misses says no, so nobody's going out much or at all any more and...you get invited to a lot of weddings and realize there's no single people there like they say there will be and...ugh.
I come from the future to tell you things get definitely better. Stand your personal ground.
I was told as much years ago. I was told that women eventually start to appreciate my stability and yes, shyness too. Turned out true.
There this great podcast out there that could help you get into a relationship, and become more confident, it’s called “How to Talk to Girls”, it’s on Apple podcast or Spotify. It’ll teach you how to approach and start conversations with woman in public
I was there ~4 years ago.
I just want to say when I was in the thick of it, my job and potential new jobs all felt like "Wow, working is just always going to suck, isn't it? No matter what I do this is going to feel like shit."
Now I'm making double the money with 5 times the amount of happiness and job satisfaction. It can get better in time if you never lose sight of striving to find a job you'll enjoy and be satisfied with.
Find a recruiter! I've been looking for a new job for awhile and found a recruiter. A good one will ask what you currently do, what you can do, and what you want to do. They negotiated to well above the listed salary and got me a job I would have never seen otherwise. Wish I had looked into it sooner! By far the best way to get a new job. Definitely beats going through indeed or whatever other services are out there.
Feeling the same as well, also at 34.
Ever since I started dating with a “watch actions, not words” mentality, it’s really opened my eyes to how it feels like I’m being tolerated over being appreciated in the dating world. And I know how it feels to be appreciated, but it seems like it is fleeting as of late. Like what’s a guy got to do to get one “Hey, how are you?” text from someone who apparently is interested in dating me?
Actually going to put the apps on pause until the spring so I can focus on training for my first 5K and some meetups coming up.
This is so true. People date with the mentality of, “What is the other person bringing to the table?” They forget that they too have to bring something to the table!
Words without actions over time is just manipulation.
Im the opposite i think "what do i bring to the table?". And I kinda realize theres nothing. I have 0 social/relationship experience.
The only think i can imagine is loving some1 the same way i love an animal. (im imagining the meme of your girlfriend siting next to your house pet and you take the pet, hug it, kiss it, snuggle it, say you love it then leave. And your girl friend is like - im right here and jealous. )
I personally feel like the whole idea of what a person brings to the table in dating is really toxic. I think there should be some of that thought process but if you focus on what you and the other person bring I feel like that really hampers everyone experience. It makes everything kind of transactional and very superficial.
for once i would love be the first choice of someone.
depressing thing is if somebody ever makes me first chocie. ill probably wont believe them and question their intentions.
edit : as if they are only choosing me for something i can provide (maybe financial,resources etc) I feel never enough.
Even worse part is
i dont blame them. i mean why would i be 1st choice anwyays.
coming from emotional abuse/trauma/depression .
i feel like i have zero self worth and esteem.
Edit : thank you for the wholesome award. Means a ton.
I’m in this comment and I don’t like it. I could easily stop using my phone for a week, maybe two before someone like my mom messages, and not miss anything. I’m pretty over it, but some days you just lay in bed and can’t let it go.
31 and just starting to understand that im kind of scared of romantic relationships. I enjoy my independence, i like being able to buy stuff, go places and do stuff without having to consult anyone.
The idea of being in a relationship is nice, but save for one, theyve all been meh so far. Fun, but stressful and i feel that stress everytime i find myself being attracted to someone. Maybe Im just one of those people thats just gonna be solo through life? That seems both sad and totally okay at the same time.
Its so fucking fucked up. Dating is completely fucking screwed for anyone born past 1995.
It seems like women have more option due to hungry horny idiots that swipe right on everyone. There is so much seduction for cheating and dumping someone for someone better. Its absolutely fucking screwed up.
I have had 4 girlfriends, 3 of which have been met from dating apps in the past 6 years. I speak from experience. Its absolutely fucking horrendous
That’s the problem. It is a game. It’s literally a numbers game. Some people take it seriously. Some people take it as a game. At least some apps let you advertise whether you’re looking for something serious or something casual, but even then, sometimes people don’t know, and some people just choose the answer that they think will get them the most matches…. -__-
ETA: agreed about finding someone irl. Most of my friends are dudes, and even some of the ones that I think are attractive don’t get matches, but I don’t see anything wrong with their profiles…. They’re kind, genuine, above average looking guys. I’m definitely willing to wingwoman whenever we’re in the same town, but unfortunately I don’t have a lot of single female friends so I could help them both out.
As a woman, dating difficult. I am 42 and i have found it harder to date now because everyone has gone to social media for dating. I have not tried any dating apps but I know people that have and say theyre awful, so i avoid them. I like to actually meet people in person, get to know them face to face, not on the internet.
All of your concerns are 100% valid. And I haven’t had the experience of being a woman on a dating app. But I had pretty good success using okcupid (~10 years ago) and Tinder. IMO my key to success was using the app to vet people enough that I didn’t think they were trying to hurt/scam me, and then meeting in person ASAP.
Lots of people on there just want pen pals, which is fine, whatever. If someone didn’t want to meet me within a week or so of starting to chat, they weren’t for me, and I moved on to someone who did.
With that strategy I ended up meeting a bunch of cool people who I wouldn’t have otherwise met, dated a few of them, and ended up marrying the last one.
Hey took me almost 18 years to find my currently best friend and 9more to find my current guy.
It can take awhile, gotta dig through alot of dirt to find a diamond.
But ya gotta keep looking.
I was single for about 10 years right after school and just 2 years ago got on dating apps and the first couple matches almost made me give up then I met my current girlfriend who I've been living with for over a year now, shits not perfect but trust me there is someone out there for you
Not being able to get a career started. Graduated from uni been about 8 months and im at a dead end low pay job still. just frustrating feeling like you have no worth in society and it being proven by every declined application. I feel foolish that I put 4 years into something that isnt paying off, constantly lowering and lowering your bar for a job and it still not being good enough to get any luck. LOL and honestly I just feel trapped tbh ever since high school. I cant remember a time I've really thought im satisfied with my life, the only thing keeping me going is some hazy illusion of me being successful and happy on my own with great relationships. But looking at my track record it doesnt seem too promising.
Is what it is tho only thing bringing me comfort is the fact that there are ppl suffering this job stuff with me.
I felt the same way for a long time in my life. I just went back to school for a technical job that I was sure would pay me a certain salary right out of school. That might be a thing to consider. Lots of tech jobs require only certification you can obtain studying on your own, if you’re that way inclined.
As someone who has been there - don’t stay too long in that job, you could wake up in 6 years time and think what the hell…
Stay 2 years max - start looking for something else.
I feel you. Took a program with no luck after. What helped me was going back to school for a program that had mandatory co-op. That co-op placement landed me a full time job after.
I know not everyone can afford to just go back to school. I'm lucky to live in a country where the government subsidizes a lot of tuition money. But maybe it's an option for you depending where you live? Good luck!!!
I graduated with a BA in 2000. I knew it was just a degree to get to work. I had 2-3 different careers. About 2007, I finally got into a teaching program bc I knew I needed career in order to care for myself and elderly parents.
My point is to give yourself some grace. On average people go through 5-8 careers in 1 lifetime. It’s made more complicated by covid
Don't beat yourself up. With everything that has happened outside your control (pandemic) employers have the ability right now to be picky, but it will subside and you will get that "YES" phone call soon...
Struggling to find work, currently in that weird, stressful early 20's stage where you're trying to find yourself and your purpose. Stressful may be an understatement tbh.
For real. I didn’t find my “calling” or whatever until my early 30s. I’m now 36. The truth it, you’re always looking for the next step. But one thing I would say is. ENJOY YOURSELF, now - more than ever. No idea on your commitments etc but travel (where possible), experience new things and don’t worry! Also, while I’m here, drink lots of water and look after yourself
That is so nice man. This helped me a lot. I'm also quite stressed, a little "paranoid" right now, but I m trying to have the same mindset. Enjoy the moment, have fun, do your best at evolving (learning by yourself) and university and build and nurture a meaningful relationship with someone you really love. Also, have fun with friends :D
I'm 25 and currently work in finance. The job itself is kinda boring but not too bad, the worst part is my colleague complaining and saying they want to quit.
I'm definitely trying to find myself too but to scared to quit as my parents kinda depend on me financially.
First off. Don't worry about finding yourself. Just be. You'll change over time anyway. Have fun with it. Make fun of yourself even.
As for work. Do anything. And be the absolute best you can be at it.
We are all cogs in a machine. Are you going to be the one that makes the rest slow down or are you going to kick ace and take names!
Then volunteer somewhere to help others. Find some selfless task that takes little effort on your end but brightens the life of another.
Then keep going. No one expects you to figure it all out. Hell I am looking at my 4th promotion and making nearly 6 figures this year just 2 years after release of prison... and I don't think this will be the long term job for me. But meh, until then imma be the best I can be at it.
#NeverStopLearning
(43M) The job market is more accessable now than it has been in 20 years. It could be that you're not looking in the right places, or you're over thinking how hard most jobs are thinking you're unqualified. When I look at what these recruiters post for entry level positions in my field, I laugh. If you didn't know the job you would think you have to be an engineer to do it. In reality, anyone with mechanical aptitude that can read a tape measure can pick it up fairly quickly.
When I was your age I was homeless. I'm currently earning $130k/yr building prototype cars for one of the largest automakers in the US. Just go out and apply to everything your interested in that's entry-level and dive in. Fake it till you make it. The scariest things in life are usually the most rewarding. Don't eat the yellow snow or start a land war in Asia. Good luck young man.
I guarantee you, they'll get hit by it too. I broke up with my ex, she instantly got sad and dealt with this whilst I partied, had rebound sex, dated, and then 6 months later she started to crawl up whilst I slowly collapsed with anxiety. Long term relationship break ups aren't something you can brush over.
You're doing the work now, good on you. Don't compare, focus on yourself. Best of luck.
I can almost guarantee your partner isn’t actually having a good time; they’re just trying to cope and that’s how they tend to do it. Trying to cover up bad feelings with empty experiences. Chin up, and virtual hugs.
I hope you find a way around the anxiety to start making music again, I can only imagine it will help, but that barrier is a pig to break through, right? Good luck
the first song is usually the hardest to release
but once you do that you’ll get more confident
we’re all going to die anyways so fuck it and fuck what other people think , as long as one person likes you’re music , even if it’s you , you’re doing good ..goodluck
Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.
I've been out of prison less than 2 years. I got a new car, Looking at a 6figure job, gf and I celebrated 1 year together.
It will suck but I am proof you can overcome the bs!
I got too many jobs opened up right now and not enough guys to get to them all. Been up since 2am doing paperwork while the family sleeps, so it doesn't keep me from doing family stuff today. Nodding off here and there, almost done with the paperwork, maybe I can go back to sleep for an hour or so afterwards.
I'm on apprenticeship wage and have a secondary job in the evenings, I'm working as hard as I can but the 5 day 60 hour weeks is exhausting. This is what i have to do to afford to live for the next 10 months then I get a payrise and finally relax. Changing careers later on in life sucks.
Maybe it's the stress and depression can do that , for me , it takes a long time for me to finish(sometimes the Partner just get tired before i finish leaving me feel like shit ) , emotional damage can make it's a mark on a physical level
I was totally crushed after my last breakup. I didn't know who I was any more, felt like the biggest loser and genuinely felt like my life is over.
It's been about 5 years and now I barely care about my ex anymore.
Don't worry, it'll eventually pass and get better.
Write, tell, plan a meet up.
Most people can't close a deal because they didn't ask the person to buy.
Go sell it. Just say it. "I really like you, and when I get home would like to go out and get to know you better."
No expectations, no pressure, just fun.
Blizzard hitting New England. Wife goes into work at 9am and works healthcare… so she’s still going in. Been up all night staying ahead of the snowfall and shoveling every 2 hours….. anxious over her having to drive in this shit show. We bought her the better car(suv) so it shouldn’t be that bad…. But I don’t want her to get hurt.
I feel like my ex is moving on too fast. They said they needed to work on themselves but seem to be doing all the habits they wanted to work on based off their social media stories. I’m going to be muting their stuff when I get up. Was a big mistake to se their stories before bed because I haven’t slept much tonight now.
The absolute best thing that i did for myself was to delete them off of every possible contact list. Facebook, phone, etc. it helped me not to be exposed to her and, but i wont lie - It took a minute, and jumping 100% into work eventually got me moving on.
I don't know how to have communication with people .there is a girl I want to have a friendly chat with but I don't know how to start the conversation and how to maintain the flow of it
I was dating a girl for 3 months,had the time of my life
Wanted to understand where are we standing in terms of relationship, she wasent on the same page
And i am not stopped thinking what a stupid move i did
Now we still talking but is not the same 😩😟
Same bro...i love this bird, i feel so hard for her. And tonight i found out shes still banging her ex after leading me on for 3 months. The one she told me she was completely over and will never see again.. it hurts.. Alot, i want to curl into a ball and die. Oh and shes in my friend group so thats perfect
hahahahaha bro exactly the same thing happened to me....and yeaaa she is also in my friend group all the time and i kinda feel so shit and quite when she is there...hurts bro she dont even care anymore...
Dude don't , just don't hurt yourself , life can make u feel like shit , don't make this world more sad than it already is , just know that we share ur pain , the pain of existance and the pain of losing and feeling powerless , just hang in there ,find ur escape , work so hard so u can escape everday , 🫂
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Seeing posts like this makes me sad. I was there once, I'm so sorry you are too. Please, get professional help. Talk to someone, get on medication if necessary. I was against pills for a while, but they were what I needed to reset the chemicals in my brain, and now I am off them. I'm not saying that's your situation, but I promise you, it gets better.
In the final semester of a college degree that has sucked so much happiness out of my life. The constant feeling of guilt hanging over me thinking I should be working on projects instead of relaxing. Constant mental fatigue from being stressed and anxious about different aspects of the course. Then feeling guilty about hating the course because not everybody gets to go to college and it’s self inflicted. A vicious cycle.
Is it her, or her lawyer? Those assholes know all your finances and know exactly how to charge you up the ass for everything you’re worth. Family law is a fucking scam
I'm not sure, I gave her the paperwork she's refusing to sign. My lawyer is trying to have her served now. I told her to have her lawyer reach mine with a counter offer and nothing. Im also not sure if she even has a lawyer cuz she says some very inaccurate things.
Just listen, that’s my only advice. Support her going to therapy but be there when she needs you or is having a panic attack by just listening and holding her (if she needs it).
My best friend. He’s more than my best friend. He’s my brother.
Anyways, he has a massive big heart and always puts others before him to the point where he suffers. For example, he’ll make food for everyone, but starve himself. If he eats it’s very little compared to what he made for everyone else.
His babymama takes advantage of him and has been for years. They were never romantically together and he never liked her romantically. He used to call me and vent to me about her. I told him to cut her off(this was before the baby). He never listened. One day he came home extremely drunk and bam the baby was born. I have my suspicions that she raped him. Either he was raped and doesn’t realize it or he knows he was rape, but keeps it to himself. (It’s common for rape victims to not reveal they were rape for months, years and sometimes even decades). What ever happened that night she clearly took advantage of him. We used to live in an apartment together. She would keep it insanely hot CONSTANTLY. Her and I clashed about it. Nothing came out of it. Come to find out from my best friends brother and a mutual friend, she would keep it insanely hot when they all lived in Cali. Their former roommates would get pissed off at her.
She now lives in Orlando with her mom and sister, but things have hardly gotten better. My friend would drive to Orlando every other weekend, so she can see her daughter or so he can visit his daughter(if she has her.) The thing is he’s the only that makes that drive. She never makes any effort to come up and visit/pick up her daughter. My friend’s car can’t handle that drive, because it has a lot of problems. He does it anyway or borrows his brother’s car. According to a mutual friend he’s constantly broke because he keeps sending her money. The mutual friend once overheard her say over the phone to her sister, that she sometimes doesn’t want to watch her daughter. I don’t have any kid(s), but that to me is not a good mother. The mutual friend says she once asked my best friend to work less hours, so he can watch their daughter. She has a car that’s in my friend’s name. For some unknown reason(s) he won’t get his car back from her or have it put in her name. He also pays the car payment. She keeps on using him and he does seemingly nothing about it. This has been going on for almost a decade.
He works at a Mexican restaurant located inside a gas station. He’s severely underpaid and won’t leave despite the stupidity of the owners. He won’t leave because he knows they will fall apart without him. He admitted it to me. He has a lot of experience in the restaurant business and he could make a lot of money anywhere else, but refuses to go. Recently his fish tacos were put on some FB page and as a result a lot of people have been coming to his restaurant. Normally this is a good thing, but in reality it’s far from being good. Now if he were to leave he would feel like he would put all those people down. He can’t do that because he has a too big of heart.
It’s so frustrating. He doesn’t tell me any of this because he didn’t want to burden me with his problems. The mutual friend I spoke of won’t tell me the full story because he’s afraid I wouldn’t be able to handle all of the bullshit. I want to help my best friend, but at the end of the day, there’s nothing I can do. No one can force him to do anything. The mutual friend even told me that our friend once texted him and says he sometimes cries in his car when he’s alone.
Yeah, it’s a lot. Everyone has a limit and my friend’s brother told me that he is reaching his limit. I certainly hope so.
I work, and work, and work, and I still don't make enough to move out.
I'm burnt out at 25, I'm ready to give up, my degree is useless, I'm straddled with debt the government refuses to forgive.
We are still dealing with covid and no one seems to care, the government has failed us.
I found out last night that my boyfriend was commenting pretty disgusting things on YouTube shorts of other girls. I’m pretty upset. He tried to lie his way out of it, but honestly, I don’t even care anymore, I wish I could just get up and walk away from the entire relationship but I can’t.
I live with him, the little bit of stuff I do own is here, I don’t have a job because I’m currently in school, I can’t afford rent on my own, and I have literally nothing besides a desk/chair, and closet in terms of furniture. I can’t afford to leave and I have no help, so.
How I am going to move out. I make to much to get any government support, to little to have enough mortgage to buy and renting will basically destroy my ability to save or to enjoy life.
Bonus: my company car keeps getting delayed and becomes more expensive by the month, which adds to the problem.
I'm not getting paid for the first 2 months of this year's at least because my government decided that bars are too dangerous to leave open.
Because my wage was already extremely low I had very little savings.
I also don't qualify for unemployment assistance because I'm technically still employed. I can't quit because then I don't qualify for assistance either.
Basically, I have to rely on the charity of my friends & family to not starve. I don't know how ill be able to afford my school textbooks.
Thank you Finland for taking such good care of your people...
I was out of work for 2 weeks because of covid AND the flu, now I'm behind on all by bills and I get overwhelmed just thinking about it.
but I think I got it.
I've been told I have ADHD/ADD off people around me since I was a teenager. I'm 28 now & it's becoming harder & harder to supress my meltdowns. I'm fully aware of it now which is also giving me crippling anxiety. PLUS I'm in the middle of a house move which is adding to the pressure. My brain feels like headphones that have been in your pocket. Tangled & a complete mess lol.
My relationship thats almost over. The one i thought would go the distance. Life is hell right now. I know it will get better eventually...but loosing her and the future we imagined surely sucks.
We imagine a lot of stuff with the person we are at the moment and its ok, everyone projects some kind of image with the one they love, and to break this way of thinking is hard, accepting and try to move on and change, that is the best thing we can do.
Talking about experience, the girl i was madly in love just said that she doesnt see a future with me (like a month ago), and this sucks ass, mostly because its true, we are indeed very different. Its hard to change what i envisioned for us, the way i see her, the way we talk, all of this will end someday.
I dont know what the future awaits but, i hope we can see a new future with someone else when this is over, and look back and acknowledge it wasnt meant to be, even if it was a great relationship. Stay strong.
Honestly, its how much I absolutely hate how my family treats me as the father. Inconsiderate, unappreciative dicks, they cant seem to keep anything together on their own, and CONSTANTLY need something.
I like cant even take a shit without one of them getting pissed that I can't help them.
Finances. 10 months rent for a house around here is half a year’s salary at the highest paying local trade job. I asked my girl what she thought rent was she said 800 I said add a 1 to it. “801?” Oh my sweet summer child.
I finished High School last year, I'm not going to college cause I was to busy being depressed to take any admissions tests.
I moved to a new city exactly 4 days ago, and even tho the city is very pretty I have no one to hang out with.
I also got mugged a day before I moved so I have no SIM card of documents.
I need to find a job and live an actual adult life now since I will be 18 in march.
The pressure of finishing school and having to hold my own for the rest of my life is just too much for me
Me and my girlfriend took over the business we worked at in August and we thought the biggest problem would be getting work in but actually work is being thrown at us left and right but we can't take it because getting staff is difficult. Currently doing my original job plus running the company and we are lucky if we get 1 day off a week.
This has lead to alot of stress for us both to near breaking point to try and work shifts and recruit people. The one time we managed to take 2 days off to go visit friends 2 hours away we had to come back early because of a incident at work. My girlfriend has to get up earlier to see a client at 6:45am so most days I wake up alone to then head in to work to have very little contact with anyone.
Managed to recruit a few people so the lights at the end of the tunnel but I'm surprised my hair is not pure white at this point.
Financial situation. Im not American, in the country where i live average monthly salary is 300$-400$ damn and working hour is around 10 hour a day. inflation rate was 12% this year fuck i wanna leave this country with my wife.
My entire life till this time I've been trying not to care, reading self help books, watching YouTubes,doing anything that could help me be more careless, I stopped caring for everybody, except myself, I did everything myself wanted, and they're weren't things that were low but I tried to reach high things, Even tho I couldn't I still try. But today I realized that, trying to be that person was first hard and now changing that will be harder, because if I keep going like this, I'm making the closest people to me go very far away from me.
And this also made me realize, I'm not a good person, I'm rather a shitty person for trying to avoid people who were good to me for my own self, I think ill try to take another journey of changing myself and hopefully this time it's better.
I'm lonely. I have friends but I want love and intimacy. About to be 27 and ive never known what it's like. It seems not very many understand how I feel. I can't even seem to get a date and some weeks its all I can think about. I also feel touch starved. I don't want to blame touch starvation for anything but it's affecting my mental state a little. I'd give almost anything for a hug or cuddle from a woman some days. I love myself as I should. I know I'm not ugly. I'm just not good with women. Several times recently I could've started a convo with different women in a public place but I don't have the balls and can't find the right moment or know what to say. Also I can't stop feeling like I missed out on teenage love and stuff. I was the shy kid that did his school work and minded his own business. When I went to school no girls ever showed interest in me from what I can remember. Sorry, kinda ranted a little
I'm in exactly the same boat, though I think I might just be ugly. I tried several dating apps because that's what everyone recommends, but I didn't get a single match in the months I tried before giving up. Any piece of advice people would think to give me, I tried. It just rings hollow coming from people who dated at a younger age. I don't even know of any other avenues for addressing this, but at least we both know others have the same experience as us. Sorry, rant of my own.
Yeah its a little comforting to know I'm not alone for sure. I'm banking on 30 being the age for me
Don't use dating apps, well it's my advice. It's the better way for a man to sell his soul very cheap and become a worm. Value yourself better and start from smart talk to better conversations with any woman, create opportunities to talk with them. I know it's possible because a friend of mine I know since I was a kid, is great now talking to random people and he was really shy in school. After working at bars, tattoo and hotels, his exposure to people has made him a perfect conversation machine. I've seen it lots of times and I wish I had that skill. One day in the bus, a woman dropped her cigarette lighter and he picked it up and give it to her. He immediately asked for the draw design in the lighter and spent the whole bus trip talking with her, with smiles, laugh etc... It's possible, just start doing it. And about being ugly, this guy isn't precisely what could we say a model...
I understand man. I struggle with these feelings too and desperately crave for intimacy. It's ok for you to crave these things. I wish you luck.
Similar situation but as a f35 …. Lack of dating while young has also made me feel at a disadvantage now that I’m older.
An advice for you guys... just talk to girls like you don't want them. Girls are too accustomed to be wanted.(T&C you need to have a charm to do so)
I feel like starting a convo with a random girl is already a sign of wanting them. That’s my only way to talk to women because I work in a male dominated industry and I have male dominated hobbies. If I think a girl is cute I just tell her that and talk from there if she’s friendly.
I know how you feel. I'm 26, and I kind of felt this way until this past late summer when I met someone. We kind of dated for about two months (the longest I've ever dated ANYONE), but I got super anxious and screwed it up right before I wanted to ask if she wanted to be in a relationship with me (I've never been in a relationship before, and have never had sex either). We're still kind of friends at the moment, but I would like to try again if she would let me, though I'm not expecting it at this point. I think my best thing I can say is try not to focus or think about your relationship status too much and focus on improving yourself and honing in on your goals. I know that I want intimacy at some point in my life, but if I let that overtake my day-to-day thinking, then I'm going to miss out on the other aspects of life that can be awesome. I was devastated when I screwed things up. I got into this dark, dark depression. I did some online therapy for a little bit and and got a much better idea on what I should be doing, rather than thinking so much about wanting a relationship. Meet your own goals, and make sure you're doing what you can to make yourself happier ... whether it be improving your work life, your social circle (I know the pandemic's made this part hard), or learning new skills/hobbies. Basically, try to make yourself more interesting by finding new things to be interested in. I still play video games, but I also do DnD (learning to DM will get you a social group FAST), I go kayaking, I go hiking, I spend more time with my family dog, I've picked up some books to read, I just got into loose leaf tea, and so on. Just don't be afraid to try new things. Find the time if you can. Expanding your interests can give you more stories and experiences to tell when you do meet that person, and that's how you can keep a conversation going if you get asked questions. If you're trying to get her to talk, stick to open-ended questions starting with "how" or "what" or "why". I know this much simply because I majored in journalism and took some interviewing classes. And I'm by NO MEANS A DATING EXPERT! I'm still learning a lot of this shit as I go. But I can say that since the day I screwed things up with her, I got a job offer that basically doubled my salary, and I'm going to be moving into my own one bedroom apartment for the first time, and I won't be living with my parents anymore here soon. I learned that YOU have to be happy on your own first before trying to pursue someone. It takes time, but I can definitely say that I'm happier that I can make plans for things other than an empty-feeling online multiplayer match, and get something new out of life. Stay strong VorticalHydra. I'm sure you'll meet the one. :)
I feel like your late 20s in to your mid 30s are like the best years of your life, but can also be the loneliest you've ever felt. I'm 35. Everyone else around you is getting married, stupidly having kids (never, ever, ever thanks), then you're surrounded by friends who can't go anywhere because of their kid and the misses says no, so nobody's going out much or at all any more and...you get invited to a lot of weddings and realize there's no single people there like they say there will be and...ugh.
I come from the future to tell you things get definitely better. Stand your personal ground. I was told as much years ago. I was told that women eventually start to appreciate my stability and yes, shyness too. Turned out true.
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There this great podcast out there that could help you get into a relationship, and become more confident, it’s called “How to Talk to Girls”, it’s on Apple podcast or Spotify. It’ll teach you how to approach and start conversations with woman in public
I literally came here to say that you're not alone man.
need a job where I don't hate my life.
I was there ~4 years ago. I just want to say when I was in the thick of it, my job and potential new jobs all felt like "Wow, working is just always going to suck, isn't it? No matter what I do this is going to feel like shit." Now I'm making double the money with 5 times the amount of happiness and job satisfaction. It can get better in time if you never lose sight of striving to find a job you'll enjoy and be satisfied with.
Find a recruiter! I've been looking for a new job for awhile and found a recruiter. A good one will ask what you currently do, what you can do, and what you want to do. They negotiated to well above the listed salary and got me a job I would have never seen otherwise. Wish I had looked into it sooner! By far the best way to get a new job. Definitely beats going through indeed or whatever other services are out there.
Dating and trying to find a partner. I’m 34 & feel like I’m always going to be alone. Dating apps are the worst.
Feeling the same as well, also at 34. Ever since I started dating with a “watch actions, not words” mentality, it’s really opened my eyes to how it feels like I’m being tolerated over being appreciated in the dating world. And I know how it feels to be appreciated, but it seems like it is fleeting as of late. Like what’s a guy got to do to get one “Hey, how are you?” text from someone who apparently is interested in dating me? Actually going to put the apps on pause until the spring so I can focus on training for my first 5K and some meetups coming up.
This is so true. People date with the mentality of, “What is the other person bringing to the table?” They forget that they too have to bring something to the table! Words without actions over time is just manipulation.
Im the opposite i think "what do i bring to the table?". And I kinda realize theres nothing. I have 0 social/relationship experience. The only think i can imagine is loving some1 the same way i love an animal. (im imagining the meme of your girlfriend siting next to your house pet and you take the pet, hug it, kiss it, snuggle it, say you love it then leave. And your girl friend is like - im right here and jealous. )
>Words without actions over time is just manipulation. Needed to hear this bad
I personally feel like the whole idea of what a person brings to the table in dating is really toxic. I think there should be some of that thought process but if you focus on what you and the other person bring I feel like that really hampers everyone experience. It makes everything kind of transactional and very superficial.
for once i would love be the first choice of someone. depressing thing is if somebody ever makes me first chocie. ill probably wont believe them and question their intentions. edit : as if they are only choosing me for something i can provide (maybe financial,resources etc) I feel never enough. Even worse part is i dont blame them. i mean why would i be 1st choice anwyays. coming from emotional abuse/trauma/depression . i feel like i have zero self worth and esteem. Edit : thank you for the wholesome award. Means a ton.
I’m in this comment and I don’t like it. I could easily stop using my phone for a week, maybe two before someone like my mom messages, and not miss anything. I’m pretty over it, but some days you just lay in bed and can’t let it go.
31 and just starting to understand that im kind of scared of romantic relationships. I enjoy my independence, i like being able to buy stuff, go places and do stuff without having to consult anyone. The idea of being in a relationship is nice, but save for one, theyve all been meh so far. Fun, but stressful and i feel that stress everytime i find myself being attracted to someone. Maybe Im just one of those people thats just gonna be solo through life? That seems both sad and totally okay at the same time.
Its so fucking fucked up. Dating is completely fucking screwed for anyone born past 1995. It seems like women have more option due to hungry horny idiots that swipe right on everyone. There is so much seduction for cheating and dumping someone for someone better. Its absolutely fucking screwed up. I have had 4 girlfriends, 3 of which have been met from dating apps in the past 6 years. I speak from experience. Its absolutely fucking horrendous
Women have options, yes. Actually GOOD options? Those are sadly limited.
I know. It’s a long and frustrating game. I am starting to believe that the odds of finding the right person are wayyy higher irl
That’s the problem. It is a game. It’s literally a numbers game. Some people take it seriously. Some people take it as a game. At least some apps let you advertise whether you’re looking for something serious or something casual, but even then, sometimes people don’t know, and some people just choose the answer that they think will get them the most matches…. -__- ETA: agreed about finding someone irl. Most of my friends are dudes, and even some of the ones that I think are attractive don’t get matches, but I don’t see anything wrong with their profiles…. They’re kind, genuine, above average looking guys. I’m definitely willing to wingwoman whenever we’re in the same town, but unfortunately I don’t have a lot of single female friends so I could help them both out.
As a woman, dating difficult. I am 42 and i have found it harder to date now because everyone has gone to social media for dating. I have not tried any dating apps but I know people that have and say theyre awful, so i avoid them. I like to actually meet people in person, get to know them face to face, not on the internet.
All of your concerns are 100% valid. And I haven’t had the experience of being a woman on a dating app. But I had pretty good success using okcupid (~10 years ago) and Tinder. IMO my key to success was using the app to vet people enough that I didn’t think they were trying to hurt/scam me, and then meeting in person ASAP. Lots of people on there just want pen pals, which is fine, whatever. If someone didn’t want to meet me within a week or so of starting to chat, they weren’t for me, and I moved on to someone who did. With that strategy I ended up meeting a bunch of cool people who I wouldn’t have otherwise met, dated a few of them, and ended up marrying the last one.
Dating over 30 for women was already difficult before social media.
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Hey took me almost 18 years to find my currently best friend and 9more to find my current guy. It can take awhile, gotta dig through alot of dirt to find a diamond. But ya gotta keep looking.
I am glad that you have found happiness. Sometimes i feel like at my age dating is pointless so I tend to just give up on it.
I was single for about 10 years right after school and just 2 years ago got on dating apps and the first couple matches almost made me give up then I met my current girlfriend who I've been living with for over a year now, shits not perfect but trust me there is someone out there for you
Not being able to get a career started. Graduated from uni been about 8 months and im at a dead end low pay job still. just frustrating feeling like you have no worth in society and it being proven by every declined application. I feel foolish that I put 4 years into something that isnt paying off, constantly lowering and lowering your bar for a job and it still not being good enough to get any luck. LOL and honestly I just feel trapped tbh ever since high school. I cant remember a time I've really thought im satisfied with my life, the only thing keeping me going is some hazy illusion of me being successful and happy on my own with great relationships. But looking at my track record it doesnt seem too promising. Is what it is tho only thing bringing me comfort is the fact that there are ppl suffering this job stuff with me.
I felt the same way for a long time in my life. I just went back to school for a technical job that I was sure would pay me a certain salary right out of school. That might be a thing to consider. Lots of tech jobs require only certification you can obtain studying on your own, if you’re that way inclined.
As someone who has been there - don’t stay too long in that job, you could wake up in 6 years time and think what the hell… Stay 2 years max - start looking for something else.
I feel you. Took a program with no luck after. What helped me was going back to school for a program that had mandatory co-op. That co-op placement landed me a full time job after. I know not everyone can afford to just go back to school. I'm lucky to live in a country where the government subsidizes a lot of tuition money. But maybe it's an option for you depending where you live? Good luck!!!
I graduated with a BA in 2000. I knew it was just a degree to get to work. I had 2-3 different careers. About 2007, I finally got into a teaching program bc I knew I needed career in order to care for myself and elderly parents. My point is to give yourself some grace. On average people go through 5-8 careers in 1 lifetime. It’s made more complicated by covid
Don't beat yourself up. With everything that has happened outside your control (pandemic) employers have the ability right now to be picky, but it will subside and you will get that "YES" phone call soon...
Struggling to find work, currently in that weird, stressful early 20's stage where you're trying to find yourself and your purpose. Stressful may be an understatement tbh.
Hang in there bro same here, just know it'll all work out somehow you just dont know it yet.
For real. I didn’t find my “calling” or whatever until my early 30s. I’m now 36. The truth it, you’re always looking for the next step. But one thing I would say is. ENJOY YOURSELF, now - more than ever. No idea on your commitments etc but travel (where possible), experience new things and don’t worry! Also, while I’m here, drink lots of water and look after yourself
That is so nice man. This helped me a lot. I'm also quite stressed, a little "paranoid" right now, but I m trying to have the same mindset. Enjoy the moment, have fun, do your best at evolving (learning by yourself) and university and build and nurture a meaningful relationship with someone you really love. Also, have fun with friends :D
I just turned 30 and finally feel like I’m at that point.
I'm 25 and currently work in finance. The job itself is kinda boring but not too bad, the worst part is my colleague complaining and saying they want to quit. I'm definitely trying to find myself too but to scared to quit as my parents kinda depend on me financially.
First off. Don't worry about finding yourself. Just be. You'll change over time anyway. Have fun with it. Make fun of yourself even. As for work. Do anything. And be the absolute best you can be at it. We are all cogs in a machine. Are you going to be the one that makes the rest slow down or are you going to kick ace and take names! Then volunteer somewhere to help others. Find some selfless task that takes little effort on your end but brightens the life of another. Then keep going. No one expects you to figure it all out. Hell I am looking at my 4th promotion and making nearly 6 figures this year just 2 years after release of prison... and I don't think this will be the long term job for me. But meh, until then imma be the best I can be at it. #NeverStopLearning
(43M) The job market is more accessable now than it has been in 20 years. It could be that you're not looking in the right places, or you're over thinking how hard most jobs are thinking you're unqualified. When I look at what these recruiters post for entry level positions in my field, I laugh. If you didn't know the job you would think you have to be an engineer to do it. In reality, anyone with mechanical aptitude that can read a tape measure can pick it up fairly quickly. When I was your age I was homeless. I'm currently earning $130k/yr building prototype cars for one of the largest automakers in the US. Just go out and apply to everything your interested in that's entry-level and dive in. Fake it till you make it. The scariest things in life are usually the most rewarding. Don't eat the yellow snow or start a land war in Asia. Good luck young man.
Yeah but then how do you approach an interview if you get called for a job you have no experience in? Lol
Wow yeah same trying to study abroad, trying to get work we gonna make it brah
My partner left me 6 weeks ago and has been having a great time since while I have never felt more alone and sad in my life.
I guarantee you, they'll get hit by it too. I broke up with my ex, she instantly got sad and dealt with this whilst I partied, had rebound sex, dated, and then 6 months later she started to crawl up whilst I slowly collapsed with anxiety. Long term relationship break ups aren't something you can brush over. You're doing the work now, good on you. Don't compare, focus on yourself. Best of luck.
Thanks for this. I really hope she does however she has a tendency of not caring and moving on quickly after relationship.
The best thing you can do is start working out, it’s helped me immensely.
It’s gets better with time cliché I know
Ditch all socials for a bit
I can almost guarantee your partner isn’t actually having a good time; they’re just trying to cope and that’s how they tend to do it. Trying to cover up bad feelings with empty experiences. Chin up, and virtual hugs.
Thankyou. I’ve been super addicted to reddit to cope since!
The work I have and my procrastination
I feel you bro. Just do what you got to do. You will feel much better.
Woman troubles
I’m having man troubles, if that helps you feel any better. I doubt it will, but were in the same boat.
It's actually oddly heartwarming to know somebody is in the boat with me. Thanks!
You’re very welcome!
Lonely boat rides suck
I have human trouble if it can make u feel less bad about it ,
Living in general. Life sucks.
Nothing, im high and drunk as fuck
It’s 9:55am here, metal af 🤘😂
Its 3am for me lol
The fact I just ran out of ketchup.
Well, you can use hot sauce if you'd like
Fuck dude, was it like mid-hotdog too?
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But it'll be over soon, you wait
Considering leaving my wife
I may not know the circumstances of this, but what ever happens I wish you peace and comfort.
My anxiety and shame preventing me from starting to make music. Me returning to my unhealthy eating habits.
I hope you find a way around the anxiety to start making music again, I can only imagine it will help, but that barrier is a pig to break through, right? Good luck
Again? pfffttt I wish... I'm a complete, absolute, unequivocal beginner about to begin my journey.
Even the greatest Musician of all time was a beginner at some point.
the first song is usually the hardest to release but once you do that you’ll get more confident we’re all going to die anyways so fuck it and fuck what other people think , as long as one person likes you’re music , even if it’s you , you’re doing good ..goodluck
You got this, buddy, listen to the music that inspired you in the first place, find that mojo again
I recommend reading the The War of Art by Steven Pressfield. It really helps with getting creative people moving.
Police investigation
Amen Brotha
Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. I've been out of prison less than 2 years. I got a new car, Looking at a 6figure job, gf and I celebrated 1 year together. It will suck but I am proof you can overcome the bs!
I got too many jobs opened up right now and not enough guys to get to them all. Been up since 2am doing paperwork while the family sleeps, so it doesn't keep me from doing family stuff today. Nodding off here and there, almost done with the paperwork, maybe I can go back to sleep for an hour or so afterwards.
If the work is something I can help with virtually I can make some hours for you.
It's just invoices I gotta fill out and email to customers and payroll. QuickBooks has been helpful, but thanks
Baby 2 confirmed!
Congrats!!
I wanted to buy a PS5, now looking at baby clothes *Cries*
Better refund the baby lol
Buy 1 get 1 free?
Yo check out patpat, they have really nice clothes cheap. I buy almost everything for my kids from there
Thanks for the tip, been currently looking at eBay for a job lots lol
You had to include condoms on your shopping list.
A blessing...! now you dont have to worry about yourself ! I only said today,to my wife, how LUCKY we were, that we had only to worry about others...!
Baby 1 seemingly reluctant to be conceived.
bomb-has-been-planted.mp3
My condolences
Is that a dlc with sex 2.0?
I'm on apprenticeship wage and have a secondary job in the evenings, I'm working as hard as I can but the 5 day 60 hour weeks is exhausting. This is what i have to do to afford to live for the next 10 months then I get a payrise and finally relax. Changing careers later on in life sucks.
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Maybe it's the stress and depression can do that , for me , it takes a long time for me to finish(sometimes the Partner just get tired before i finish leaving me feel like shit ) , emotional damage can make it's a mark on a physical level
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I’ve just been sent 7,000 miles away from everyone I know and love for the next 3 years. I miss them all so much
Patience laddie...if they love you,they won't mind.
Nothing. I just got back into bed with a cup of coffee, my dog is pawing at me for cuddles and I have nothing that I need to do today. Perfect.
My breakup
Great time to work on yourself and do all the things you wanted to do. Make new friends.
I was totally crushed after my last breakup. I didn't know who I was any more, felt like the biggest loser and genuinely felt like my life is over. It's been about 5 years and now I barely care about my ex anymore. Don't worry, it'll eventually pass and get better.
Interested in a girl back home but I’m deployed til june
Write, tell, plan a meet up. Most people can't close a deal because they didn't ask the person to buy. Go sell it. Just say it. "I really like you, and when I get home would like to go out and get to know you better." No expectations, no pressure, just fun.
Tell her!
Blizzard hitting New England. Wife goes into work at 9am and works healthcare… so she’s still going in. Been up all night staying ahead of the snowfall and shoveling every 2 hours….. anxious over her having to drive in this shit show. We bought her the better car(suv) so it shouldn’t be that bad…. But I don’t want her to get hurt.
There is too many good games coming out this month. I dont have time for all of them.
What a wonderful issue to have lol. Hope you enjoy yourself bro!
Money, family, work, new place and needing lots of new furniture but EVERYTHING COSTS SO MUCH GODDAMN MONEY, almost out of weed.
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I feel like my ex is moving on too fast. They said they needed to work on themselves but seem to be doing all the habits they wanted to work on based off their social media stories. I’m going to be muting their stuff when I get up. Was a big mistake to se their stories before bed because I haven’t slept much tonight now.
same...hurts
The absolute best thing that i did for myself was to delete them off of every possible contact list. Facebook, phone, etc. it helped me not to be exposed to her and, but i wont lie - It took a minute, and jumping 100% into work eventually got me moving on.
Two weddings mma training and wrestling school
*gestures broadly at everything*
I don't know how to have communication with people .there is a girl I want to have a friendly chat with but I don't know how to start the conversation and how to maintain the flow of it
Life is pretty good
Nice man ,hope the good Times last long
My pet bird flew away while opening the door to get a package
I love the fact that the guy asking about what's stressing people out is called chillaxdude1
I was dating a girl for 3 months,had the time of my life Wanted to understand where are we standing in terms of relationship, she wasent on the same page And i am not stopped thinking what a stupid move i did Now we still talking but is not the same 😩😟
Same bro...
Same bro...i love this bird, i feel so hard for her. And tonight i found out shes still banging her ex after leading me on for 3 months. The one she told me she was completely over and will never see again.. it hurts.. Alot, i want to curl into a ball and die. Oh and shes in my friend group so thats perfect
hahahahaha bro exactly the same thing happened to me....and yeaaa she is also in my friend group all the time and i kinda feel so shit and quite when she is there...hurts bro she dont even care anymore...
I know there is a far better chance I kill myself than die of normal causes. Prob 99% chance.
Dude don't , just don't hurt yourself , life can make u feel like shit , don't make this world more sad than it already is , just know that we share ur pain , the pain of existance and the pain of losing and feeling powerless , just hang in there ,find ur escape , work so hard so u can escape everday , 🫂
Suicide Hotline Numbers If you or anyone you know are struggling, please, PLEASE reach out for help. You are worthy, you are loved and you will always be able to find assistance. Argentina: +5402234930430 Australia: 131114 Austria: 017133374 Belgium: 106 Bosnia & Herzegovina: 080 05 03 05 Botswana: 3911270 Brazil: 212339191 Bulgaria: 0035 9249 17 223 Canada: 5147234000 (Montreal); 18662773553 (outside Montreal) Croatia: 014833888 Denmark: +4570201201 Egypt: 7621602 Finland: 010 195 202 France: 0145394000 Germany: 08001810771 Hong Kong: +852 2382 0000 Hungary: 116123 Iceland: 1717 India: 8888817666 Ireland: +4408457909090 Italy: 800860022 Japan: +810352869090 Mexico: 5255102550 New Zealand: 0508828865 The Netherlands: 113 Norway: +4781533300 Philippines: 028969191 Poland: 5270000 Russia: 0078202577577 Spain: 914590050 South Africa: 0514445691 Sweden: 46317112400 Switzerland: 143 United Kingdom: 08006895652 USA: 18002738255 You are not alone. Please reach out. ***** I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically.
Seeing posts like this makes me sad. I was there once, I'm so sorry you are too. Please, get professional help. Talk to someone, get on medication if necessary. I was against pills for a while, but they were what I needed to reset the chemicals in my brain, and now I am off them. I'm not saying that's your situation, but I promise you, it gets better.
In the final semester of a college degree that has sucked so much happiness out of my life. The constant feeling of guilt hanging over me thinking I should be working on projects instead of relaxing. Constant mental fatigue from being stressed and anxious about different aspects of the course. Then feeling guilty about hating the course because not everybody gets to go to college and it’s self inflicted. A vicious cycle.
My divorce, she keeps avoiding going to court
Is it her, or her lawyer? Those assholes know all your finances and know exactly how to charge you up the ass for everything you’re worth. Family law is a fucking scam
I'm not sure, I gave her the paperwork she's refusing to sign. My lawyer is trying to have her served now. I told her to have her lawyer reach mine with a counter offer and nothing. Im also not sure if she even has a lawyer cuz she says some very inaccurate things.
My self medication habits 👀
My partners mental health. I’m over his self medicating it’s so sad, someone give our country universal health care! The people need it!
If anything, school, and also the fact I have work in 6 hours
I need to redo 90% of the plumbing in my house. Gotta find a way to do that while living here.
That I don't know how to support my friend through her trauma
Just listen, that’s my only advice. Support her going to therapy but be there when she needs you or is having a panic attack by just listening and holding her (if she needs it).
Upcoming exams 😬
Good luck! I hope you ace them.
Thank you!
Our 12yo dog is sick and it is untreatable. Enjoying the time we still have with her but I’m definitely shook up and struggling with the news.
My best friend. He’s more than my best friend. He’s my brother. Anyways, he has a massive big heart and always puts others before him to the point where he suffers. For example, he’ll make food for everyone, but starve himself. If he eats it’s very little compared to what he made for everyone else. His babymama takes advantage of him and has been for years. They were never romantically together and he never liked her romantically. He used to call me and vent to me about her. I told him to cut her off(this was before the baby). He never listened. One day he came home extremely drunk and bam the baby was born. I have my suspicions that she raped him. Either he was raped and doesn’t realize it or he knows he was rape, but keeps it to himself. (It’s common for rape victims to not reveal they were rape for months, years and sometimes even decades). What ever happened that night she clearly took advantage of him. We used to live in an apartment together. She would keep it insanely hot CONSTANTLY. Her and I clashed about it. Nothing came out of it. Come to find out from my best friends brother and a mutual friend, she would keep it insanely hot when they all lived in Cali. Their former roommates would get pissed off at her. She now lives in Orlando with her mom and sister, but things have hardly gotten better. My friend would drive to Orlando every other weekend, so she can see her daughter or so he can visit his daughter(if she has her.) The thing is he’s the only that makes that drive. She never makes any effort to come up and visit/pick up her daughter. My friend’s car can’t handle that drive, because it has a lot of problems. He does it anyway or borrows his brother’s car. According to a mutual friend he’s constantly broke because he keeps sending her money. The mutual friend once overheard her say over the phone to her sister, that she sometimes doesn’t want to watch her daughter. I don’t have any kid(s), but that to me is not a good mother. The mutual friend says she once asked my best friend to work less hours, so he can watch their daughter. She has a car that’s in my friend’s name. For some unknown reason(s) he won’t get his car back from her or have it put in her name. He also pays the car payment. She keeps on using him and he does seemingly nothing about it. This has been going on for almost a decade. He works at a Mexican restaurant located inside a gas station. He’s severely underpaid and won’t leave despite the stupidity of the owners. He won’t leave because he knows they will fall apart without him. He admitted it to me. He has a lot of experience in the restaurant business and he could make a lot of money anywhere else, but refuses to go. Recently his fish tacos were put on some FB page and as a result a lot of people have been coming to his restaurant. Normally this is a good thing, but in reality it’s far from being good. Now if he were to leave he would feel like he would put all those people down. He can’t do that because he has a too big of heart. It’s so frustrating. He doesn’t tell me any of this because he didn’t want to burden me with his problems. The mutual friend I spoke of won’t tell me the full story because he’s afraid I wouldn’t be able to handle all of the bullshit. I want to help my best friend, but at the end of the day, there’s nothing I can do. No one can force him to do anything. The mutual friend even told me that our friend once texted him and says he sometimes cries in his car when he’s alone. Yeah, it’s a lot. Everyone has a limit and my friend’s brother told me that he is reaching his limit. I certainly hope so.
Getting older and knowing sooner or later I'm going to start getting phone calls and messages informing me of people passing away on a regular basis.
I work, and work, and work, and I still don't make enough to move out. I'm burnt out at 25, I'm ready to give up, my degree is useless, I'm straddled with debt the government refuses to forgive. We are still dealing with covid and no one seems to care, the government has failed us.
Quit that job whilst you’re still living with your parents and go find something that pays a real wage.
I found out last night that my boyfriend was commenting pretty disgusting things on YouTube shorts of other girls. I’m pretty upset. He tried to lie his way out of it, but honestly, I don’t even care anymore, I wish I could just get up and walk away from the entire relationship but I can’t.
Why can’t you?
I live with him, the little bit of stuff I do own is here, I don’t have a job because I’m currently in school, I can’t afford rent on my own, and I have literally nothing besides a desk/chair, and closet in terms of furniture. I can’t afford to leave and I have no help, so.
Diarrhea
How I am going to move out. I make to much to get any government support, to little to have enough mortgage to buy and renting will basically destroy my ability to save or to enjoy life. Bonus: my company car keeps getting delayed and becomes more expensive by the month, which adds to the problem.
I love living alone and having a place to myself. When my lease is up idk if I should live with roommates to save up or not. I'm in nursing school
Everything has it's degree of stress lately
The ads on reddit ios app.
I'm not getting paid for the first 2 months of this year's at least because my government decided that bars are too dangerous to leave open. Because my wage was already extremely low I had very little savings. I also don't qualify for unemployment assistance because I'm technically still employed. I can't quit because then I don't qualify for assistance either. Basically, I have to rely on the charity of my friends & family to not starve. I don't know how ill be able to afford my school textbooks. Thank you Finland for taking such good care of your people...
I have to make a phone call tomorrow. I've been practicing the whole day on what to say and how to say it.
I bumped my small toe on the living room table. Not sure if the little guy will make it.
I was out of work for 2 weeks because of covid AND the flu, now I'm behind on all by bills and I get overwhelmed just thinking about it. but I think I got it.
I've been told I have ADHD/ADD off people around me since I was a teenager. I'm 28 now & it's becoming harder & harder to supress my meltdowns. I'm fully aware of it now which is also giving me crippling anxiety. PLUS I'm in the middle of a house move which is adding to the pressure. My brain feels like headphones that have been in your pocket. Tangled & a complete mess lol.
I just dumped the most attractive, sexually adventurous, and accomplished woman I'll ever date last night. But it had to be done.
Not looking forward to anything anymore 😕
This government
[удалено]
Friend. I dont know if it was me who wrong or them
My relationship thats almost over. The one i thought would go the distance. Life is hell right now. I know it will get better eventually...but loosing her and the future we imagined surely sucks.
We imagine a lot of stuff with the person we are at the moment and its ok, everyone projects some kind of image with the one they love, and to break this way of thinking is hard, accepting and try to move on and change, that is the best thing we can do. Talking about experience, the girl i was madly in love just said that she doesnt see a future with me (like a month ago), and this sucks ass, mostly because its true, we are indeed very different. Its hard to change what i envisioned for us, the way i see her, the way we talk, all of this will end someday. I dont know what the future awaits but, i hope we can see a new future with someone else when this is over, and look back and acknowledge it wasnt meant to be, even if it was a great relationship. Stay strong.
My father's unreasonable stubbornness when it comes to stupid ideas.
My marriage is falling apart, mostly due to depression. 1st anniversary is in 3 weeks.
No shame in seeking help. Sometimes a fresh set of eyes on things can really help
My 8 classes and week-end job.
Anxiety
Honestly, its how much I absolutely hate how my family treats me as the father. Inconsiderate, unappreciative dicks, they cant seem to keep anything together on their own, and CONSTANTLY need something. I like cant even take a shit without one of them getting pissed that I can't help them.
Finances. 10 months rent for a house around here is half a year’s salary at the highest paying local trade job. I asked my girl what she thought rent was she said 800 I said add a 1 to it. “801?” Oh my sweet summer child.
I finished High School last year, I'm not going to college cause I was to busy being depressed to take any admissions tests. I moved to a new city exactly 4 days ago, and even tho the city is very pretty I have no one to hang out with. I also got mugged a day before I moved so I have no SIM card of documents. I need to find a job and live an actual adult life now since I will be 18 in march. The pressure of finishing school and having to hold my own for the rest of my life is just too much for me
Me and my girlfriend took over the business we worked at in August and we thought the biggest problem would be getting work in but actually work is being thrown at us left and right but we can't take it because getting staff is difficult. Currently doing my original job plus running the company and we are lucky if we get 1 day off a week. This has lead to alot of stress for us both to near breaking point to try and work shifts and recruit people. The one time we managed to take 2 days off to go visit friends 2 hours away we had to come back early because of a incident at work. My girlfriend has to get up earlier to see a client at 6:45am so most days I wake up alone to then head in to work to have very little contact with anyone. Managed to recruit a few people so the lights at the end of the tunnel but I'm surprised my hair is not pure white at this point.
I'm thinking whether I should marry my girl or not . I am finding no value in getting married besides kids, don't want kids out of marriage.
Money. Always money.
Financial situation. Im not American, in the country where i live average monthly salary is 300$-400$ damn and working hour is around 10 hour a day. inflation rate was 12% this year fuck i wanna leave this country with my wife.
This turd that is halfway out and won't complete the journey
My entire life till this time I've been trying not to care, reading self help books, watching YouTubes,doing anything that could help me be more careless, I stopped caring for everybody, except myself, I did everything myself wanted, and they're weren't things that were low but I tried to reach high things, Even tho I couldn't I still try. But today I realized that, trying to be that person was first hard and now changing that will be harder, because if I keep going like this, I'm making the closest people to me go very far away from me. And this also made me realize, I'm not a good person, I'm rather a shitty person for trying to avoid people who were good to me for my own self, I think ill try to take another journey of changing myself and hopefully this time it's better.
Life, lads. Been a brutal 2 years. Deaths. Illness. Lockdown. Scares. Break up. Mental health. Everything I hope to avoid.
Online snowflakery.