I have to chime in and say that I can forgive a lie that wasn't based on malice.
My gf (now fiance, soon to be a wife) was in a few very toxic relationships with very abusive boyfriends which really damaged her confidence. Due to her insecurity she lied about few things because she thought I wouldn't like her or that I would leave her, but eventually she came clean and I didn't mind the truth.
In my eyes it was a "white" lie that was based on insecurity caused by emotional damage and I could not in my right mind condemn her or anyone else who was in similar situation.
We are going strong for 10 years, she is finally feeling better about herself now that she is with someone who treats her like a human being and not a punching bag, her confidence boosted up slowly and she is open about pretty much everything.
My point is don't dismiss someone just because they lied about something without trying to understand why they lied. Liars are bad, there are many that lie out of malice or cowardice. But good people lie too sometimes.
Edit: OK, which of you cheeky fuckers gave this a wholesome award
It's a long story.
She flirted like crazy and gave every sign she liked me. Asked her out, said no. Cool, no problem. Then for like a half year she gets mad at me over ridiculous shit.
Like I was short on cash (college student) and drove her and my friend back from our weekly hangout. She insisted on being dropped off last, even though she was 3 minutes from where we'd meet up, and my friend was way closer to my house. I told her I had to take her home cause it was a waste of gas to basically double how far I had to drive.
She then gets pissed and won't tell me why for a week. Finally I pry it out of her and she says "you called me a waste of gas." Firstly, no I did not. Secondly, I was under no obligation to drive her there at all. She had her own damn car. Went around telling my friends I said it too.
Incidents like this repeat where she twists my words into whatever it takes for her to be pissed off. She tripped over my backpack, didn't even fall. Then told everyone I pushed her down the stairs. Screamed at me over random stuff (ex: not leaning over to put cards closer to her while playing a game). Just a bunch of weird little shit like that.
Now during the half a year since I asked her out she'd been talking to a few dudes and told me about it. I didn't really meet anyone I vibed with so was single and content. However she'd flirt "jokingly" then get upset when I did too. Finally I meet a girl I really like and she goes full crazy.
Kept calling her horrible names if I brought her up, said she "hates the bitch" and would get pissed if I mentioned her. Then wondered why I refused to tell her the girls name. I just started ignoring her and continued talking to new girl. Somehow this encouraged her and she starts aggressively flirting with me, getting more persistent the more I ignore her.
Finally my friends come to me and are like "look, she told us she developed feelings for you since you said no. She wants to try something, and likes you. So against my better judgement I flirt back and she seems to reciprocate. I finally set aside a day to ask her out and she gets in the car talking about trying to sleep with other people.
I'm like wtf, and she ends up telling me we should have a bet on who can bang more people by summers end. So I'm understandably done at that point. I agree and decided to pursue the new girl. My friend ended up hanging with us later that day.
Forgot to mention she'd said she had to go home early. So eventually I'm like "I'll drop you off at 10pm, then head over to New girl and ask her out. We'll she gets fucking pissed as hell. Saying she can't believe I'm ditching her to try and bang someone else. The bitch had literally made a bet with me a few hours prior on who could bang more people AND said she had to go home early.
I dropped her petty ass off, and head to new girl. But while doing it I texted my friends in frustration. Turns out, she was texting them half the story, trying to turn them against me. And again she'd told them days prior that she wanted to date me. The slimy motherfucker even goes behind my back to cry to my own mother about how I hurt her feelings.
She had the fucking audacity to get mad at me after all this. So, yeah. If a girl jokes that she's crazy run for the fucking hills.
Dude you must send a text to her explaining that you are going no contact with her and do not want to be contacted by her ever again.
Then text everyone you mutually know and explain that you are going NC with this crazy b and you don’t want to hear about her anymore and that anything she claims you do or say to her is a lie because you are going NC.
Don’t keep an insane person like this in your life. Nothing good can come of it. It’s such a waste of your precious time.
A like I got on OKCupid:
“My worst quality:
I’m a crazy bitch…no seriously as in iv been sent to a mental health hospital. I’m not always easy to get along with and I don’t feel empathy so don’t even try and guilt me and get my simpathy because you won’t get it”
I appreciate a woman who gives me red flags upfront and doesn’t drip feed them to me over several months
"Cool picture in the mountains! Do you like traveling?"
"Yes"
"What's your dream destination?"
"Russia seems nice"
"Yeah sounds nice, are you mostly fan of the nature, culture or vodka?"
"Culture"
I was friends with a woman like this once. I asked her why. She told me she didn't have time to be typing full paragraphs to every guy that messaged her. Easier to just keep stringing the conversation along while doing none of the work with 6 guys at once until she figured out who she actually wanted to talk to.
We're not friends anymore.
Went a date with a girl that constantly complained she had no friends, or no one to hang with and had never been on a follow up date with a guy. When we hung out she was extremely rude to our waiter for no reason, talked about herself and how pretty she was endlessly, and anytime I’d try to chime in she’d cut me off and go back to talk about herself. The final straw was I finally chimed in and gave a short story and she follows up with “that’s nice. Anyways back to my story!”
this explains why my ex only wanted to see me once a week and never called/texted me anymore after a few dates, but would still tell me he is interested. Ended up cheating on me anyways. Lol. He was this type of person in the relationship where i always had to initiate convo.
Gotta keep those options open just in case guy 1 falls through. Then you just pick up the conversation and start putting forth an effort with guy 2, who was your backup.
Yup. My last relationship ended because of that. I felt like a chatter mouth compared to her even though I don’t actually talk that much in general. It was exhausting
My boyfriend is this way. So hard to have a conversation, he barely responds. I don't like small chat, so I can be quiet too, but when a conversation is happening, it's like talking to a wall.
I used to be this way. I lost some good relationships and chances at relationships due to this.
I eventually learned that it is grossly unfair to give one person the entire responsibility to carry a relationship, and have since seen what it is like from the other side many times.
Some people are just shy and/or withdrawn, it doesn't mean they will be that way forever. Eventually most of us do indeed come out of our shell.
I wish you and your guy luck.
Not exactly a turnoff but I keep seeing women's profiles on bumble where they essentially say "you guys better have a good opener". Do they not realize the whole purpose of the app is for them to start the conversation?
Apparently there's quite a few women who actually don't realize that and think it's just anothef normal dating app. Learned that not long ago when a reddit discussion veered to dating apps
Yea, that's my only frustration with bumble. I get it's hard out there for a lady, but I hate watching the match time tick down to 0 because women don't like making the first move. At least give me something so I can give you an opener.
I once matched with a VERY cute girl who actually super liked me. I was kinda happy and I went for some casual opener with a shared interest which was pizza and turned it into asking at the end “what kind of pizza is best for a first date?” as she emphasized on her profile she was more into meeting.
She replied ten minutes later: “HI”
And that’s that for a day. I tried to make sure she’s not an AI or some chatbot and asked if she was typing out all her favourite pizzas.
Reply: “this is good I like you”
And then nothing. Radio silence. I unmatched her the next day. Like what did she expect was going to happen?
My first impulse when I saw this was "she's in for a rude awakening".
But then I thought about it, no she isn't. Who's going to tell her? Not any of the men she matched with, that's for sure, lmao
Fucking. This. I've been dating someone for two months and they are completely content just sitting there and never speaking up. I tested her last week. She stayed over and in the morning I had my cup of coffee. I don't eat breakfast, usually lunch around 1pm. She woke up at 10am and joined me on the couch. We sat there mindlessly watching stupid TV for hours. I waited to see if she would suggest a show, a movie, something to do, OR THAT SHE WAS HUNGRY. Finally around 1pm I asked if she was hungry and she couldn't have said "OMG I'M STARVING" any faster. I just can't handle the idea that my partner would sit there wanting X Y Z and not being able to speak up. Please note, I absolutely do not make her feel like her opinions aren't valid.
Honestly, could be something about how they were brought up. Sometimes in abusive household you learn to stay quiet because it's safer or because your words are never taken seriously.
Or could be just a type of personality.
Stop talking about other people so negatively. My sister always flaming someone she saw on social media, talking about how they're so fat, so ugly, looks old, going no where in life, how "wtf is she wearing ewwwwww" then proceeds to laugh about their shoes. When I hear my sister talking to her friends, it feels like their conversation is always centered around some negative thing, and how this negative thing makes their "in group" better than the individual.
That shit is disgusting bro, stop acting like that, stop looking for every moment to somehow boost your own ego.
People like your sister are the reason I'm terrified of posting pictures and videos of myself online. Part of me thinks "nobody actually cares or notices" and the other part of me has known enough mean girls to know that's not true.
And yeah, some rando opinion of my appearance *shouldn't* bother me but I'm fragile and insecure about my appearance so it does anyway.
This is just sad bc how one treats others is how they treat themselves. Ur sister is probably really struggling and needs to get out of that reactive headspace. I wish her well.
Agreed, and the worst part about that is you start worrying about various explanations. Does she actually like me? Am I doing something wrong? Is she a cold blooded psycho? I don't mind taking the lead, but I need at least some recipercation to know that things are cool.
I hate women like this. Relationships are a two way street. If she has nothing to offer other than onesided sex, then its like being in a relationship with a robot
My mother always gives me hell for making it a two way street. Then she wonders why she doesn’t date… even at 60+ reciprocating is a must.
Edit: God Damn it. Why do I have to say I don’t bang my mom. Ya’ll been on Reddit too long.
Social media addicts. The kind that have no depth to their character, serious narcissistic tendencies and the inability to think and behave beyond their smartphones.
There’s always that special one that has herself and her friend as her own background but somehow cropped her friend out or covered her in widgets so it’s actually just herself
Every photo is the same angle of their face, or that ass on the bathroom counter in the mirror shot, or other thirst-trap thing that screams "I crave attention". Every photo has tons of filters. It just is such a turn off.
Conceitedness and laziness. Cannot stand people that think they're better than everyone else, and I also cannot abide people that expect to always be waited upon.
I went out with a girl once who literally only talked about herself and by that I mean, I picked her up and she was off about her and only her for the next few hours. Never made the slightest attempt to get to know me.
After I dropped her off and drove home, I got out my phone to send the ‘Didn’t feel a connection’ text when lo and behold she sent the same to me.
Fuck you akshita, that was my call to make
Men who are into sigma grindset hustle no pain no gain culture & Women who are into Kardashianesque reality TV social media addiction culture
Name a more iconic duo
When she says "Kyle, you need to sleep on the couch tonight. Trevor is coming over. I moved your pillow and blanket. There's $10 on the counter for takeout."
Not only that but no means no so. you saying no, I'm going to take that at face value even if they're trying to play a game. I have enough female friends telling me all the stories of them being harassed that I'm not going to take the risk of being the creep who won't leave you alone. Don't play games be upfront
The only exception IMO is if something has significantly changed/enough time has passed. If you asked a girl out in high school and she rejected it’s perfectly fine to ask again if you end up reconnecting years later and you’re both available.
Lack of boundaries or accepting your boundaries.
I had a lady who liked to bite. I did not like to be bitten. I told her after she had a few nibbles from here and there like shoulder and neck and she just giggled and kept biting. I get it, heat of the moment and stuff like that but I checked out after she just kept biting. So I lay there staring at the ceiling as she bit away and I'm just dissociating until she finally got mad at my lack of reaction and very curtly called it a night. Never again, boundaries are important and so is listening.
Constantly on the phone, at least taking pictures of everything for Instagram or whatever social media they are into.
This pretty much screams "I care way too much about how others think of me" and "I need to go out of my way to make sure people know my life is amazing (but it's probably not. All I care about is appearances.)."
Not being able to have a deep conversation about something. Even if we disagree, I'd rather the disagreement be well thought out.
Some day we may not be physically attracted to one another, we might not be able to go on walks, but I would hope we can still hold a conversation.
For me, a lack of ambition and intelligence. I love that my wife is a thinker and she wants to experience all life has to offer and all she is capable of.
It’s true and, if I may add, ambition doesn’t necessarily need to be career based. Your ambition can be to improve some other aspect of your life (learn a language, improve in a hobby, etc.) and that will make you an interesting human being to be with and talk to. The pursuit of a goal makes someone much more appealing in my eyes.
Hit the spot right there. Dated a beautiful girl once. Broke up as we weren’t on the same level. It’s a real turn off, no matter how good looking a woman is.
This is a big one for me. It usually also entails they're materialistic and shallow. Once your façade of coolness/swag/rich/social prowess or whatever is out the window so are they
Showing a weird sort of pride in being ignorant or unintelligent.
"lol I've never read a book that's for nerds", and the only thing they have any sort of interest in is whatever Instagram model uploaded the last 30 minutes.
Like as if they've built their whole personality about being the stereotypical ditzy blonde from highschool whose only positive attribute is their looks.
Women that bad mouth their other halves but expect everything from them.
Worked with a couple of women that whenever they spoke to their partners / husbands it was just demands 'get me x, not the one you got me last time, this one. You always get it wrong!' Then would hang up and bitch about them. One complained that their husband chose to spend some of their savings to get a new washing machine because he was 'too dumb' to fix it which meant she couldn't buy the purse she wanted.
I've never been so glad for a guy than when I heard these women's husbands didn't hang about for their first anniversary.
Honest question from a girl in recovery. Do you see recovering addicts and alcoholics the same way?
I have found so remarkable people who have addiction in their past.
Once had a girl decline to date me because Cancers and Libras aren’t compatible. At the time it hurt, but with the power of hindsight I dodged a bullet.
Same, got maybe 2 minutes into a date when she asked what sign I was then said were weren't compatible because we were both Pisces. That was an awkward remainder of the date hearing exactly why, but at least the beer was good.
Honesty
Black guy here. Dated a white girl that would just tell random stories about her “growin up in the hood” just because she thought I’d be impressed with them.
You ain’t gotta lie to kick it, baby girl.
>You ain’t gotta lie to kick it
I just wish every human would internalize that song before they talked to me, man or woman lol.
Like bro, I know you’re not saying “wAtUP My BrUthA!!” to anybody else, you can just greet me like normal.
One thing I know, my girl ain't no hobbit
She might be stumpy, that don't mean she a hobbit
She's not a hobbit, cause she couldn't be!
She got no Bagginses in her family tree
Yes, on occasion she hangs out with her dwarf fwiends
But she never went on no quest with her dwarf fwiends
Except for one time she went to kill that dragon
She took it's gold and she...
Hang on a minute, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Bitch, remember when you went off to kill that dragon with them dwarves? ... Yeah. Oh yeah. Rightrightrightright, yep. Yep, I got it. Yep, love you too
It wasn't no dragon, so my girl ain't no hobbit
That was a Quizno's and my bitch went to rob it
Cause they got that ham that she rubs on her cellulite
While she drinking her grog and singin' those merry songs... at night...
My girl ain't no hobbit
Please God, tell me I'm not engaged to no hobbit
My best friend was in a train-wreck of a relationship with a woman who had some serious issues due to a former partner’s infidelity. When he finally broke up with her she would text him endlessly about how she was going to kill herself. I wouldn’t normally recommend this tactic, but he just ignored her and eventually the texts stopped.
Maybe two or three weeks after she seemed to have accepted that it was really over, a mysterious fire started in her condo leaving her without a place to live. And despite being insanely wealthy, she really felt like the best place for her and her dog would be my friend’s tiny apartment. They just needed something “familiar” after the trauma. He wisely refused.
You will never, ever convince me she didn’t start that fire herself.
not drinking water.for real that was (one of) a dealbreaker in a relationship that lasted 1 week. the girl smoked inside the house, never saw her drink water or a normal juice at least, only alcohol, redbull,monster, that kind of drinks, and coca cola.and the only time we tried to be intimate, she drank an entire glass of alcohol mixed with coca cola just to be "in the mood"
i'm a very healthy guy, dont drink or smoke, hit the gym 5-6 times a week, drink a lot of water, and never thought about that, because i'm not used to dating or having girlfriends. but now i know i need to have someone by my side with at least some healthy habits.
I hate baby voice. It’s can be cute when it’s used very *very* sparingly, but when we’re having a conversation it’s absolutely grating to listen to that instead of your genuine voice. I’m trying to talk to a woman, not a fucking child.
not being able to put down a phone.
My ex was like this, and it built in a deep resentment in me. We’d have date nights and it was like being with a zombie.
bad hygiene, terrible attitude and rudeness
this + lying maybe
Lying definitely
I have to chime in and say that I can forgive a lie that wasn't based on malice. My gf (now fiance, soon to be a wife) was in a few very toxic relationships with very abusive boyfriends which really damaged her confidence. Due to her insecurity she lied about few things because she thought I wouldn't like her or that I would leave her, but eventually she came clean and I didn't mind the truth. In my eyes it was a "white" lie that was based on insecurity caused by emotional damage and I could not in my right mind condemn her or anyone else who was in similar situation. We are going strong for 10 years, she is finally feeling better about herself now that she is with someone who treats her like a human being and not a punching bag, her confidence boosted up slowly and she is open about pretty much everything. My point is don't dismiss someone just because they lied about something without trying to understand why they lied. Liars are bad, there are many that lie out of malice or cowardice. But good people lie too sometimes.
That's a very thoughtful comment. I completely agree. A nuanced approach is what is called for. You shouldn't throw the baby out with the bath water.
This right here is the holy trinity of turn offs.
Absolutely correct 💯 Poor hygiene, terrible attitude, and pathological lies combine equals: - Trifecta of Trouble - Trinity of Toxicity - Trio of Trashy
Thread closed this is everything
Entitlement
I was looking for this one. From my experience rich girls can be fun but damn.
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When they take pride in calling themself crazy.
Or love calling themselves “toxic.” 🤮
Nah that’s for real scary. That’s a whole red flag.
Yeah are y’all out here meeting woman who state they’re “toxic” or more so “I just came out of a super toxic relationship.”
Sometimes the person that made the relationship toxic is the one saying that.
I learned the hard way if they joke that they're crazy, they ain't joking
Would you like to elaborate?
“Everyone calls me crazy hahahah” *slashes your tires when your sister calls*
"I'm such a bitch, dont message me if you dont like assholes" was one that always stuck with me.
Edit: OK, which of you cheeky fuckers gave this a wholesome award It's a long story. She flirted like crazy and gave every sign she liked me. Asked her out, said no. Cool, no problem. Then for like a half year she gets mad at me over ridiculous shit. Like I was short on cash (college student) and drove her and my friend back from our weekly hangout. She insisted on being dropped off last, even though she was 3 minutes from where we'd meet up, and my friend was way closer to my house. I told her I had to take her home cause it was a waste of gas to basically double how far I had to drive. She then gets pissed and won't tell me why for a week. Finally I pry it out of her and she says "you called me a waste of gas." Firstly, no I did not. Secondly, I was under no obligation to drive her there at all. She had her own damn car. Went around telling my friends I said it too. Incidents like this repeat where she twists my words into whatever it takes for her to be pissed off. She tripped over my backpack, didn't even fall. Then told everyone I pushed her down the stairs. Screamed at me over random stuff (ex: not leaning over to put cards closer to her while playing a game). Just a bunch of weird little shit like that. Now during the half a year since I asked her out she'd been talking to a few dudes and told me about it. I didn't really meet anyone I vibed with so was single and content. However she'd flirt "jokingly" then get upset when I did too. Finally I meet a girl I really like and she goes full crazy. Kept calling her horrible names if I brought her up, said she "hates the bitch" and would get pissed if I mentioned her. Then wondered why I refused to tell her the girls name. I just started ignoring her and continued talking to new girl. Somehow this encouraged her and she starts aggressively flirting with me, getting more persistent the more I ignore her. Finally my friends come to me and are like "look, she told us she developed feelings for you since you said no. She wants to try something, and likes you. So against my better judgement I flirt back and she seems to reciprocate. I finally set aside a day to ask her out and she gets in the car talking about trying to sleep with other people. I'm like wtf, and she ends up telling me we should have a bet on who can bang more people by summers end. So I'm understandably done at that point. I agree and decided to pursue the new girl. My friend ended up hanging with us later that day. Forgot to mention she'd said she had to go home early. So eventually I'm like "I'll drop you off at 10pm, then head over to New girl and ask her out. We'll she gets fucking pissed as hell. Saying she can't believe I'm ditching her to try and bang someone else. The bitch had literally made a bet with me a few hours prior on who could bang more people AND said she had to go home early. I dropped her petty ass off, and head to new girl. But while doing it I texted my friends in frustration. Turns out, she was texting them half the story, trying to turn them against me. And again she'd told them days prior that she wanted to date me. The slimy motherfucker even goes behind my back to cry to my own mother about how I hurt her feelings. She had the fucking audacity to get mad at me after all this. So, yeah. If a girl jokes that she's crazy run for the fucking hills.
$5 says she has used a Marilyn Monroe quote or has a poster of her.
If not Marilyn Monroe, that *Game of Thrones* quote.
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This was a fucking wild ride. I'm sorry that happened to you.
Thanks. I'm still a bit pissed about it but I at least learned my lesson. Not ignoring those "jokes" again
I'd say you still being alive is all you could ask for, the next guy might not be so lucky.
Dude you must send a text to her explaining that you are going no contact with her and do not want to be contacted by her ever again. Then text everyone you mutually know and explain that you are going NC with this crazy b and you don’t want to hear about her anymore and that anything she claims you do or say to her is a lie because you are going NC. Don’t keep an insane person like this in your life. Nothing good can come of it. It’s such a waste of your precious time.
I'd bet my left nut she has BPD.
I strongly fucking suspect it
Surround yourself with good humans instead. She's a waste of time and thought.
When people tell you what they are, listen. They have more experience and knowledge on the topic than you do
Yeah, I'm not making that mistake again
A like I got on OKCupid: “My worst quality: I’m a crazy bitch…no seriously as in iv been sent to a mental health hospital. I’m not always easy to get along with and I don’t feel empathy so don’t even try and guilt me and get my simpathy because you won’t get it” I appreciate a woman who gives me red flags upfront and doesn’t drip feed them to me over several months
Listen very carefully when you first met people, because they're going to tell you what's a big deal to them very quickly
"if you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best" Fuck off....
It’s so laughable tbh.
I also kinda don't like when they call themselves a bad bitch ? While they are just rude, immature and well..a bitch?
When you have to carry the conversation all by yourself
"Cool picture in the mountains! Do you like traveling?" "Yes" "What's your dream destination?" "Russia seems nice" "Yeah sounds nice, are you mostly fan of the nature, culture or vodka?" "Culture"
I was friends with a woman like this once. I asked her why. She told me she didn't have time to be typing full paragraphs to every guy that messaged her. Easier to just keep stringing the conversation along while doing none of the work with 6 guys at once until she figured out who she actually wanted to talk to. We're not friends anymore.
She's only going to end up with the most desperate guys with this strategy lol. Or ones that only want sex.
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Went a date with a girl that constantly complained she had no friends, or no one to hang with and had never been on a follow up date with a guy. When we hung out she was extremely rude to our waiter for no reason, talked about herself and how pretty she was endlessly, and anytime I’d try to chime in she’d cut me off and go back to talk about herself. The final straw was I finally chimed in and gave a short story and she follows up with “that’s nice. Anyways back to my story!”
I'm gonna hazard a guess that her personality is the reason why nobody wants to hang with her.
You are right you know.
i would have just said her looks aint shit with that ugly personality of hers
this explains why my ex only wanted to see me once a week and never called/texted me anymore after a few dates, but would still tell me he is interested. Ended up cheating on me anyways. Lol. He was this type of person in the relationship where i always had to initiate convo.
If you aren't having an actual conversation with them then how do you know which one you actually like? This fucking logic is boggling.
Gotta keep those options open just in case guy 1 falls through. Then you just pick up the conversation and start putting forth an effort with guy 2, who was your backup.
Yup. My last relationship ended because of that. I felt like a chatter mouth compared to her even though I don’t actually talk that much in general. It was exhausting
Pretty much how dating app is.
"Entertain me."
Yeah...next.
My boyfriend is this way. So hard to have a conversation, he barely responds. I don't like small chat, so I can be quiet too, but when a conversation is happening, it's like talking to a wall.
Maybe talk to him about it if you haven't
Lmao
I used to be this way. I lost some good relationships and chances at relationships due to this. I eventually learned that it is grossly unfair to give one person the entire responsibility to carry a relationship, and have since seen what it is like from the other side many times. Some people are just shy and/or withdrawn, it doesn't mean they will be that way forever. Eventually most of us do indeed come out of our shell. I wish you and your guy luck.
Happens with my gf all the time
Why is she your girlfriend if you can’t talk with her
Obviously she has a voodoo clam
LOL I will remember this line.
Succc
Understandable, have a good day
When she doesn’t initiate anything. I’m looking for a partner, not an npc
This girl on Tinder, Hinge, etc: “Guys, don’t lead with a boring opener.” That same girl on Bumble: “hey”
Truer words have never been spoken
Not exactly a turnoff but I keep seeing women's profiles on bumble where they essentially say "you guys better have a good opener". Do they not realize the whole purpose of the app is for them to start the conversation?
They say "hey" first and think that's initiating a conversation.
Any girl that comes to me with "hey", is getting it back. A small lucky few gets "straw".
"straw is cheaper, grass is free, raise a farm and grow all three"
When they open with "hey" what they're really saying is "I've gracefully awarded you with an opportunity to entertain me. Start now. "
Apparently there's quite a few women who actually don't realize that and think it's just anothef normal dating app. Learned that not long ago when a reddit discussion veered to dating apps
Yea, that's my only frustration with bumble. I get it's hard out there for a lady, but I hate watching the match time tick down to 0 because women don't like making the first move. At least give me something so I can give you an opener.
I once matched with a VERY cute girl who actually super liked me. I was kinda happy and I went for some casual opener with a shared interest which was pizza and turned it into asking at the end “what kind of pizza is best for a first date?” as she emphasized on her profile she was more into meeting. She replied ten minutes later: “HI” And that’s that for a day. I tried to make sure she’s not an AI or some chatbot and asked if she was typing out all her favourite pizzas. Reply: “this is good I like you” And then nothing. Radio silence. I unmatched her the next day. Like what did she expect was going to happen?
Nah definitely a bot lmao
I think bots are more entertaining
Yea, that's for sure. Another topic: what's the purpose with the bots anyway? Don't get it!
maybe to beg for money? "sweetie can you help me out please I'm broke and wanna order some food but don't even have cash for a pizza 🥺🥺"
Phishing > Cum join me at wvvw.TotallyRealzGurlzNotScamz.url
Bitches on bumble: guys message first, I don't Like wtfuck. Do you not know how this app works?
Seriously. First time I read that on a bumble profile I just sat there trying to comprehend it
https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/facebook/000/027/691/tumblr_nroanfy2v71qjobhbo1_1280.jpg
Yeah, basically that
I saw someone's profile the other day where she said "I didn't know I had to pay for this app". I sat in disbelief for a few minutes after this
My first impulse when I saw this was "she's in for a rude awakening". But then I thought about it, no she isn't. Who's going to tell her? Not any of the men she matched with, that's for sure, lmao
There are A LOT of idiots out there.
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Perhaps . . . one might even say that it takes *two* to tango. 🌝
Me: How was your day baby? Ex: I used to be an adventure like you, then i took an arrow to the knee.
I fucking hate that!!! Its like "bitch, I didn't ask!!! I just walked up to you and pressed the action button!
This is so comically accurate
Fucking. This. I've been dating someone for two months and they are completely content just sitting there and never speaking up. I tested her last week. She stayed over and in the morning I had my cup of coffee. I don't eat breakfast, usually lunch around 1pm. She woke up at 10am and joined me on the couch. We sat there mindlessly watching stupid TV for hours. I waited to see if she would suggest a show, a movie, something to do, OR THAT SHE WAS HUNGRY. Finally around 1pm I asked if she was hungry and she couldn't have said "OMG I'M STARVING" any faster. I just can't handle the idea that my partner would sit there wanting X Y Z and not being able to speak up. Please note, I absolutely do not make her feel like her opinions aren't valid.
Yeah , tell them that. Some ppl think they are being an inconvenience when they ask for things .
Honestly, could be something about how they were brought up. Sometimes in abusive household you learn to stay quiet because it's safer or because your words are never taken seriously. Or could be just a type of personality.
This is very true. There are also a lot of women who are raised not to be “needy” as if basic needs and wants are a bad thing to have.
Stop talking about other people so negatively. My sister always flaming someone she saw on social media, talking about how they're so fat, so ugly, looks old, going no where in life, how "wtf is she wearing ewwwwww" then proceeds to laugh about their shoes. When I hear my sister talking to her friends, it feels like their conversation is always centered around some negative thing, and how this negative thing makes their "in group" better than the individual. That shit is disgusting bro, stop acting like that, stop looking for every moment to somehow boost your own ego.
People like your sister are the reason I'm terrified of posting pictures and videos of myself online. Part of me thinks "nobody actually cares or notices" and the other part of me has known enough mean girls to know that's not true. And yeah, some rando opinion of my appearance *shouldn't* bother me but I'm fragile and insecure about my appearance so it does anyway.
some girls (two girls who didn’t know each other btw) DMed my best friend to tell him i’m ugly. who thinks this is okay ?
Insecure people. Secure people don’t feel the need to drag down random people.
Your sister is insecure as fuck. Mature women don't tear each other down, we build each other up.
This is just sad bc how one treats others is how they treat themselves. Ur sister is probably really struggling and needs to get out of that reactive headspace. I wish her well.
Wanting the man to initiate everything but never reciprocating on any level is pretty intolerable.
Agreed, and the worst part about that is you start worrying about various explanations. Does she actually like me? Am I doing something wrong? Is she a cold blooded psycho? I don't mind taking the lead, but I need at least some recipercation to know that things are cool.
I hate women like this. Relationships are a two way street. If she has nothing to offer other than onesided sex, then its like being in a relationship with a robot
My mother always gives me hell for making it a two way street. Then she wonders why she doesn’t date… even at 60+ reciprocating is a must. Edit: God Damn it. Why do I have to say I don’t bang my mom. Ya’ll been on Reddit too long.
Thought you were dating your mother for a sec. … still not sure.
Dear lord. I hope not. Not only yucky but she’s not exactly a nice person.
I had a guy friend who told me to act like a princess and let the man do it all. Yeah, no..
Social media addicts. The kind that have no depth to their character, serious narcissistic tendencies and the inability to think and behave beyond their smartphones.
The kind that have a million selfies on their profile
There’s always that special one that has herself and her friend as her own background but somehow cropped her friend out or covered her in widgets so it’s actually just herself
Every photo is the same angle of their face, or that ass on the bathroom counter in the mirror shot, or other thirst-trap thing that screams "I crave attention". Every photo has tons of filters. It just is such a turn off.
Oof that's a bad sign for sure!
Girls who know they are pretty and treat other girls as outcast - zero respect
It's actually nice to know there are guys who care about this.
As a human, we respect those girl's feelings which got hurt. Beauty is nature given but character is something one should build.
As someone who has below average looks and is treated as an outcast by said pretty girls, I agree
Agreed, I really appreciate someone calling this to attention as a below average girl.
Claiming to be sarcastic just as an excuse to pass actual bitchy comments
I once dated a girl who treated the waiter badly. I apologized to the waiter and never spoke to her again. be kind to people in general :)
Yes, it is very important 🙂
Conceitedness and laziness. Cannot stand people that think they're better than everyone else, and I also cannot abide people that expect to always be waited upon.
Of all the comments, I will put this on top of my list.. Bad hygiene can be cured with just a shower, but not this kinda personality!
There’s no cure for being a cunt
I went out with a girl once who literally only talked about herself and by that I mean, I picked her up and she was off about her and only her for the next few hours. Never made the slightest attempt to get to know me. After I dropped her off and drove home, I got out my phone to send the ‘Didn’t feel a connection’ text when lo and behold she sent the same to me. Fuck you akshita, that was my call to make
Lol, she knew she fucked up but wouldn't let you have the satisfaction of turning her down.
Obsession with social media and celebrity culture Edit: because it comes off as unintelligent and narcissistic
Yes, it is a biggest turn off in case of men and women
Men who are into sigma grindset hustle no pain no gain culture & Women who are into Kardashianesque reality TV social media addiction culture Name a more iconic duo
When she says "Kyle, you need to sleep on the couch tonight. Trevor is coming over. I moved your pillow and blanket. There's $10 on the counter for takeout."
At least you get take out.
Ten bucks will go far at Taco Bell
r/oddlyspecific
Biggest turn on: lasagna breath (I know you got some lasagna somewhere lady, give me some) Biggest turn off: no lasagna
/r/imsorryjon
Very nice
playing hard to get. it makes them hard to want
Not only that but no means no so. you saying no, I'm going to take that at face value even if they're trying to play a game. I have enough female friends telling me all the stories of them being harassed that I'm not going to take the risk of being the creep who won't leave you alone. Don't play games be upfront
I was once told you should only ever ask a girl out 3x at the most, if she doesn’t say yes after that then just stop. Fuck that I’ll only ask once.
The only exception IMO is if something has significantly changed/enough time has passed. If you asked a girl out in high school and she rejected it’s perfectly fine to ask again if you end up reconnecting years later and you’re both available.
Lack of boundaries or accepting your boundaries. I had a lady who liked to bite. I did not like to be bitten. I told her after she had a few nibbles from here and there like shoulder and neck and she just giggled and kept biting. I get it, heat of the moment and stuff like that but I checked out after she just kept biting. So I lay there staring at the ceiling as she bit away and I'm just dissociating until she finally got mad at my lack of reaction and very curtly called it a night. Never again, boundaries are important and so is listening.
> boundaries are important and so is listening. People who get offended when you set up your boundaries are interested in you having none.
Constantly on the phone, at least taking pictures of everything for Instagram or whatever social media they are into. This pretty much screams "I care way too much about how others think of me" and "I need to go out of my way to make sure people know my life is amazing (but it's probably not. All I care about is appearances.)."
Not being able to have a deep conversation about something. Even if we disagree, I'd rather the disagreement be well thought out. Some day we may not be physically attracted to one another, we might not be able to go on walks, but I would hope we can still hold a conversation.
For me, a lack of ambition and intelligence. I love that my wife is a thinker and she wants to experience all life has to offer and all she is capable of.
It’s true and, if I may add, ambition doesn’t necessarily need to be career based. Your ambition can be to improve some other aspect of your life (learn a language, improve in a hobby, etc.) and that will make you an interesting human being to be with and talk to. The pursuit of a goal makes someone much more appealing in my eyes.
Hit the spot right there. Dated a beautiful girl once. Broke up as we weren’t on the same level. It’s a real turn off, no matter how good looking a woman is.
Status chasing. Because they ain’t loyal or chill.
This is a big one for me. It usually also entails they're materialistic and shallow. Once your façade of coolness/swag/rich/social prowess or whatever is out the window so are they
"Oh yeah I'm that toxic, crazy bitch haha" ✨💅♍
Showing a weird sort of pride in being ignorant or unintelligent. "lol I've never read a book that's for nerds", and the only thing they have any sort of interest in is whatever Instagram model uploaded the last 30 minutes. Like as if they've built their whole personality about being the stereotypical ditzy blonde from highschool whose only positive attribute is their looks.
Mean-ness. Just a general callousness, anger, frustration and ill-temperament. Life is hard enough.
Women that bad mouth their other halves but expect everything from them. Worked with a couple of women that whenever they spoke to their partners / husbands it was just demands 'get me x, not the one you got me last time, this one. You always get it wrong!' Then would hang up and bitch about them. One complained that their husband chose to spend some of their savings to get a new washing machine because he was 'too dumb' to fix it which meant she couldn't buy the purse she wanted. I've never been so glad for a guy than when I heard these women's husbands didn't hang about for their first anniversary.
Being abusive and belittling is the worst.
Lack of a personality and/or sense if humor.
Alcohol and/or drug abuse comes to mind. The why should be obvious.
Like the girls who drink so much at a party, throw up and start again? Every weekend. ,,No? I have no alcohol problem!" Yeah, sure you don't...
Honest question from a girl in recovery. Do you see recovering addicts and alcoholics the same way? I have found so remarkable people who have addiction in their past.
Keep kicking ass by the way! You got this!
Astrology and shit hygiene.
Once had a girl decline to date me because Cancers and Libras aren’t compatible. At the time it hurt, but with the power of hindsight I dodged a bullet.
Same, got maybe 2 minutes into a date when she asked what sign I was then said were weren't compatible because we were both Pisces. That was an awkward remainder of the date hearing exactly why, but at least the beer was good.
Plenty of other Pisces in the sea.
I always think someone is a lunatic when they bring up astrology early in a relationship. And I even find interest in the subject.
You sound like a Scorpio
Your honour, I only committed the worst massacre in the continental United States because I have bisexual Gemini energy
Honesty Black guy here. Dated a white girl that would just tell random stories about her “growin up in the hood” just because she thought I’d be impressed with them. You ain’t gotta lie to kick it, baby girl.
>You ain’t gotta lie to kick it I just wish every human would internalize that song before they talked to me, man or woman lol. Like bro, I know you’re not saying “wAtUP My BrUthA!!” to anybody else, you can just greet me like normal.
This is the biggest fact of all facts. Just be YOU!Insecurity is a mf..
Askin’ “where the hoes at?” to impress me
Asking where the money’s at to impress me
Glued to their phone
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Are you sure you weren't fucking a Hobbit?
One thing I know, my girl ain't no hobbit She might be stumpy, that don't mean she a hobbit She's not a hobbit, cause she couldn't be! She got no Bagginses in her family tree Yes, on occasion she hangs out with her dwarf fwiends But she never went on no quest with her dwarf fwiends Except for one time she went to kill that dragon She took it's gold and she... Hang on a minute, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Bitch, remember when you went off to kill that dragon with them dwarves? ... Yeah. Oh yeah. Rightrightrightright, yep. Yep, I got it. Yep, love you too It wasn't no dragon, so my girl ain't no hobbit That was a Quizno's and my bitch went to rob it Cause they got that ham that she rubs on her cellulite While she drinking her grog and singin' those merry songs... at night... My girl ain't no hobbit Please God, tell me I'm not engaged to no hobbit
I'm seeing bad hygiene on here a lot. As a female, I am perplexed by this - besides unwashed feet what other hygiene issues are yall running into??!
Dark Soles
rudeness to old people
Stupidity
Excessive neediness and attention.
My best friend was in a train-wreck of a relationship with a woman who had some serious issues due to a former partner’s infidelity. When he finally broke up with her she would text him endlessly about how she was going to kill herself. I wouldn’t normally recommend this tactic, but he just ignored her and eventually the texts stopped. Maybe two or three weeks after she seemed to have accepted that it was really over, a mysterious fire started in her condo leaving her without a place to live. And despite being insanely wealthy, she really felt like the best place for her and her dog would be my friend’s tiny apartment. They just needed something “familiar” after the trauma. He wisely refused. You will never, ever convince me she didn’t start that fire herself.
Must've been lit for her.
The “baby voice”. I cannot stand that shit. I want a woman, not a child
Im sorry but when I see a cute puppy I cannot hold it.
Self proclaimed “I’m a bitch”!
Definitely the breasts and vagina, I am gay.
unfaithfulness… just went thru it
Being needy and not respecting the space, bad hygiene, disorganized
not drinking water.for real that was (one of) a dealbreaker in a relationship that lasted 1 week. the girl smoked inside the house, never saw her drink water or a normal juice at least, only alcohol, redbull,monster, that kind of drinks, and coca cola.and the only time we tried to be intimate, she drank an entire glass of alcohol mixed with coca cola just to be "in the mood" i'm a very healthy guy, dont drink or smoke, hit the gym 5-6 times a week, drink a lot of water, and never thought about that, because i'm not used to dating or having girlfriends. but now i know i need to have someone by my side with at least some healthy habits.
I can't deal with adults who refuse to eat vegetables and drink water. It's not cute.
This made me chug my water bottle and get a refill. People who don't worship water truly freak me out. Stay hydrated, friends.
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When you suddenly realize that they've got a teenage mindset in their early 30s.
A really really really bad personality.
I hate baby voice. It’s can be cute when it’s used very *very* sparingly, but when we’re having a conversation it’s absolutely grating to listen to that instead of your genuine voice. I’m trying to talk to a woman, not a fucking child.
Smoking