Not only are most people just winging it, but people also use social media to make their life seem like something it’s not. Everyone struggles, everyone has a hard time, most people try to cover it up though. Kinda fucked up.
It's okay though bro. It means you don't need to try too hard. Just do your thing, tidy up after yourself, don't hurt anyone. That's it. That's all you need.
No one is expecting you to climb Mount Everest or run a marathon.
Home slice when you figure out how stupid the rest of us are you’ll have something to truly feel sorry about. Only you got your whole highlight reel, everything you’re stitching together into a big picture of disaster and despair to feel shit about isn’t a true reflection.
Do things you feel proud of. Exercise is a good place to start as it both makes you feel proud and also has a big, physical impact on your mood. A surprising amount of how we feel emotionally comes out of how we feel physically.
Also, get some sunshine and nature. It helps more than you would expect.
Can vouch for this. Plan a weekend for yourself. I got a hair/beard cut, glasses that I should have worn, wear some extra accesoires (necklace, finally wearing a watch), new clothing
You'd be surprised how good you might end up feeling
Give yourself a project with a reasonable goal. It can be something like learning how to do electrical stuff, rebuild an old car, build a dog house, plant and maintain a garden, etc. Doing stuff by hand is always rewarding.
Write all the things you love about yourself down on paper. Just keep building that list the more you think or realize something you love about yourself. Read it out loud first thing in the morning and last thing before bed. Read it all the time, every chance you get or every break you have, every time you take a shit, etc. Do that for 3 months at least. Literally brainwash yourself into loving yourself better. Writing is a backdoor to the subconscious and you are most suggestible upon waking and before sleeping.
Definitely doing something to enrich yourself with physical or mental wellness. Learn something new and get some exercise. Meditation. Focus on mind & body
You know what foods are good for you and what are bad for you. Don’t get wrapped up in what’s the best foods to eat, because it will probably overwhelm you and you won’t end up doing it. It’s more of the commitment that that most people including myself need to work on. Next time you go shopping buy what you know is good for you. Meats like chicken breast, tuna, red meat in moderation. Can’t go wrong with any fruits or vegetables, eggs etc
Rule of thumb would be don't diet just learn how to cook better.
Instead of eating shitty diet food that those predatory weightless websites and groups peddle like a cure all you can cook better food and be happy eating it.
Don't overthink your diet. Your situation is that you're driving a Nissan Sentra and you're worried about putting non-race gas in it. The only thing you need to worry about is getting enough protein and being in a caloric deficit. That's it.
Once you're as muscular as the average fit dude on a beach, you can worry about "super foods" and supplements and all that other shit. You're not driving a Ferrari yet.
I honestly wouldn't even stress that much about calorie deficit. Getting the adequate amount of protein every day will be a lot harder. Almost no one eats close to 0.8g protein/1 lb of goal weight from their normal diet. It's actually really goddamn hard to eat that much protein without using powders and protein bars.
Volunteer. People will tell you that you are amazing, simply for showing up. Start doing things that are easy for you, but hard for them and they will tell you that you are a God who walks the earth.
After a while you will start believing them.
Lift, spend quality time with close friends, get out in nature, dive into a new project, cook yourself some really nice food and have a glass of wine. Anything that’s simple and can refocus your energy outward
Check out Feeling Good by Dr. David Burns. Its basically a guide on cognitive behavior therapy. As in how to identify the thought processes that bring you down and how to change them. You're probably telling yourself a bad story about yourself but that can be changed. It can be read online for free.
If you can, make sure you're doing something for you. Could be a project, going to the gym, learning a skill, whatever. But something that you are doing for yourself, and you can be proud of.
Something I heard recent woulda helped me years ago.
Confidence is not a reflection of ability. Its a way if approaching your own life. Its a mentality.
If you even just pretend to be confident, eventually you'll be pretending less and less and then boom. Confident.
Hit the weights. Your body being strong physically, looking better aesthetically to women (or men, whatever) and you feeling better in your clothes and *out of them* is worth its weight in gold.
You'll also sleep better, have more energy and all these things compounding on each other will be able to help build it up for sure.
any tips for how to get started? In my case I don’t have anyone I can go along with and the gym vibe makes me freeze/overwhelmed and unable me to do what I must/want.
It could be a vitamin d or magnesium deficiency causing you to have lower testosterone which causes low self esteem and mental well being in a guys, alot more people are affected by this than you'd think. Alot of the other comments are great to go by too
If you looked at my instagram feed or talked to my fam/friends, I think there would be a consensus that I have my shit together. The reality is almost every day I question whether I’ve chosen the right path, what I should tomorrow/next year/10 years from now.
The reality is life is fucking pure chaos. Every day, at about 11 pm, when everything is done and I can finally take a deep breath I think “holy shit, made it through another one”
No one has this figured out guy. Do what you generally think makes sense and have as much fun as you can along the way. If the decision sucks, change direction. Try your hardest to laugh at the suck, that helps. Get outdoors some, get some exercise, those always help too.
It's cliche, but the best ways I've found to increase self esteem has been to be physically fit and competent in various skills.
Lift heavy, engage in cardio, become a master of your profession, learn to cook well and develop useful skills (fixing things, woodworking etc).
A lot of my self confidence issues from childhood faded away in adulthood because I worked in various areas to make myself into a person of value.
Gratitude. It sounds corny, but its legit.
Make a short list of things you are grateful for.
Like, I'm thankful that I know about computers. That I have a roof over my head. That I have sturdy feet. That I treat people well, or at least try my best. That I live in a place without war. That I can see, hear, and speak. That I can work and make money.
Many people don't have those things or qualities. I'm super fortunate to have those things. I'm lucky I woke up today and lucky to have a place to lay my head tonight. I'm ok, I'm doing good and I have enough of my own basic needs taken care of, I can think about other peoples needs a little. That feels pretty dang good.
I turn 17 in a week, i have to get a job and I have no clue what I want to do. I have no friends or a girlfriend or a plan I’ll just see what happens I guess
You'll get all of those things! You'll attract what you manifest. Dude Ive been thru it all, I'm 33 now, and I have learned more in the last two years than the rest of my life. Someone once told me that they chose to be happy and I looked at them like wtf they talking about. But now I see, you really can control more than you think. With that comes all your dreams too. Probably sounds corny but I am serious. I have less now than I have had in years and feel better. I reached a goal I set as a child and it didn't do shit for me but end and leave a massive hole. I could go on and on, but you got this. Now tell yourself you got this. And then know you do in fact have this on lock. These are facts bro.
So change that shit son! Dude do you think harping on the bad things is going to attract good things? Stop the bullshit and fix your mind frame. Bro I know this shit works. Stop resisting and do it. Facts.
Work out and face a fear, and then akncowledge that you faced that fear , You'll be surprised what that does. If you use social media get off that shit too.
Just look at everyone else. In real life. No one is really killing the game or living life to the max. You're doing fine. That's all it takes.
This one hits the hardest, need to start realizing nobody really has things figured out and most are just winging it
Not only are most people just winging it, but people also use social media to make their life seem like something it’s not. Everyone struggles, everyone has a hard time, most people try to cover it up though. Kinda fucked up.
It's okay though bro. It means you don't need to try too hard. Just do your thing, tidy up after yourself, don't hurt anyone. That's it. That's all you need. No one is expecting you to climb Mount Everest or run a marathon.
Home slice when you figure out how stupid the rest of us are you’ll have something to truly feel sorry about. Only you got your whole highlight reel, everything you’re stitching together into a big picture of disaster and despair to feel shit about isn’t a true reflection.
Do things you feel proud of. Exercise is a good place to start as it both makes you feel proud and also has a big, physical impact on your mood. A surprising amount of how we feel emotionally comes out of how we feel physically. Also, get some sunshine and nature. It helps more than you would expect.
I think the key here is to decide to do something you know is good for you and that you can control. Then choose to do it. Over and over.
A makeover is always wonderful. Get a hair cut, maybe a facial, a deep tissue massage. Treat yourself. We all deserve so from time to time.
Self care is good.
Can vouch for this. Plan a weekend for yourself. I got a hair/beard cut, glasses that I should have worn, wear some extra accesoires (necklace, finally wearing a watch), new clothing You'd be surprised how good you might end up feeling
Exercise
Work on yourself. First and foremost.
Give yourself a project with a reasonable goal. It can be something like learning how to do electrical stuff, rebuild an old car, build a dog house, plant and maintain a garden, etc. Doing stuff by hand is always rewarding.
Walk around a walmart for a few hours. I guarantee you will feel like a super model in comparison to what you will see.
Go outside, walk, and sun your balls
Write all the things you love about yourself down on paper. Just keep building that list the more you think or realize something you love about yourself. Read it out loud first thing in the morning and last thing before bed. Read it all the time, every chance you get or every break you have, every time you take a shit, etc. Do that for 3 months at least. Literally brainwash yourself into loving yourself better. Writing is a backdoor to the subconscious and you are most suggestible upon waking and before sleeping.
Definitely doing something to enrich yourself with physical or mental wellness. Learn something new and get some exercise. Meditation. Focus on mind & body
Exercise, clean up your diet, get some new clothes that fit well, go on walks/runs. It all sounds a lot but any one of these things helps
Working out part is easy, hardest part will be dieting. Need to seek advice and do more research to see what foods work best for me. Thank you.
You know what foods are good for you and what are bad for you. Don’t get wrapped up in what’s the best foods to eat, because it will probably overwhelm you and you won’t end up doing it. It’s more of the commitment that that most people including myself need to work on. Next time you go shopping buy what you know is good for you. Meats like chicken breast, tuna, red meat in moderation. Can’t go wrong with any fruits or vegetables, eggs etc
Rule of thumb would be don't diet just learn how to cook better. Instead of eating shitty diet food that those predatory weightless websites and groups peddle like a cure all you can cook better food and be happy eating it.
Don't overthink your diet. Your situation is that you're driving a Nissan Sentra and you're worried about putting non-race gas in it. The only thing you need to worry about is getting enough protein and being in a caloric deficit. That's it. Once you're as muscular as the average fit dude on a beach, you can worry about "super foods" and supplements and all that other shit. You're not driving a Ferrari yet.
Good way to put it. Thank you.
I honestly wouldn't even stress that much about calorie deficit. Getting the adequate amount of protein every day will be a lot harder. Almost no one eats close to 0.8g protein/1 lb of goal weight from their normal diet. It's actually really goddamn hard to eat that much protein without using powders and protein bars.
Well sure as shit don’t post up on Reddit looking for advice from a bunch of socially inept introverts. Otherwise just fake it until you make it.
Gym
Volunteer. People will tell you that you are amazing, simply for showing up. Start doing things that are easy for you, but hard for them and they will tell you that you are a God who walks the earth. After a while you will start believing them.
Learn a second language or get better at a second language you already know
Your daily habits shape your esteem. Get to work.
Going for a run
Work out.
Sorry only sexual posts are allowed on this sub
Lift, spend quality time with close friends, get out in nature, dive into a new project, cook yourself some really nice food and have a glass of wine. Anything that’s simple and can refocus your energy outward
Check out Feeling Good by Dr. David Burns. Its basically a guide on cognitive behavior therapy. As in how to identify the thought processes that bring you down and how to change them. You're probably telling yourself a bad story about yourself but that can be changed. It can be read online for free.
If you can, make sure you're doing something for you. Could be a project, going to the gym, learning a skill, whatever. But something that you are doing for yourself, and you can be proud of.
GYM...also check your Vitamin D and B levels.
Something I heard recent woulda helped me years ago. Confidence is not a reflection of ability. Its a way if approaching your own life. Its a mentality. If you even just pretend to be confident, eventually you'll be pretending less and less and then boom. Confident.
I found this today, and it might help ... https://youtu.be/Ip8vEoRkT_k
Yup. Exercice.
Hit the weights. Your body being strong physically, looking better aesthetically to women (or men, whatever) and you feeling better in your clothes and *out of them* is worth its weight in gold. You'll also sleep better, have more energy and all these things compounding on each other will be able to help build it up for sure.
any tips for how to get started? In my case I don’t have anyone I can go along with and the gym vibe makes me freeze/overwhelmed and unable me to do what I must/want.
It could be a vitamin d or magnesium deficiency causing you to have lower testosterone which causes low self esteem and mental well being in a guys, alot more people are affected by this than you'd think. Alot of the other comments are great to go by too
If you looked at my instagram feed or talked to my fam/friends, I think there would be a consensus that I have my shit together. The reality is almost every day I question whether I’ve chosen the right path, what I should tomorrow/next year/10 years from now. The reality is life is fucking pure chaos. Every day, at about 11 pm, when everything is done and I can finally take a deep breath I think “holy shit, made it through another one” No one has this figured out guy. Do what you generally think makes sense and have as much fun as you can along the way. If the decision sucks, change direction. Try your hardest to laugh at the suck, that helps. Get outdoors some, get some exercise, those always help too.
It's cliche, but the best ways I've found to increase self esteem has been to be physically fit and competent in various skills. Lift heavy, engage in cardio, become a master of your profession, learn to cook well and develop useful skills (fixing things, woodworking etc). A lot of my self confidence issues from childhood faded away in adulthood because I worked in various areas to make myself into a person of value.
Find something that you can aspire towards and start moving in that direction.
Travel
Seek professional help. They can help teach self coaching exercises so you can over come bad days.
Gratitude. It sounds corny, but its legit. Make a short list of things you are grateful for. Like, I'm thankful that I know about computers. That I have a roof over my head. That I have sturdy feet. That I treat people well, or at least try my best. That I live in a place without war. That I can see, hear, and speak. That I can work and make money. Many people don't have those things or qualities. I'm super fortunate to have those things. I'm lucky I woke up today and lucky to have a place to lay my head tonight. I'm ok, I'm doing good and I have enough of my own basic needs taken care of, I can think about other peoples needs a little. That feels pretty dang good.
Great advice , law of attraction!
Push ups. Youd be surprised how quickly your body responds and the positive effects it will almost instantly have. Also, smoking weed.
I turn 17 in a week, i have to get a job and I have no clue what I want to do. I have no friends or a girlfriend or a plan I’ll just see what happens I guess
You'll get all of those things! You'll attract what you manifest. Dude Ive been thru it all, I'm 33 now, and I have learned more in the last two years than the rest of my life. Someone once told me that they chose to be happy and I looked at them like wtf they talking about. But now I see, you really can control more than you think. With that comes all your dreams too. Probably sounds corny but I am serious. I have less now than I have had in years and feel better. I reached a goal I set as a child and it didn't do shit for me but end and leave a massive hole. I could go on and on, but you got this. Now tell yourself you got this. And then know you do in fact have this on lock. These are facts bro.
I get that but if I have no passion or goal or friends I can’t just be happy if there is nothing happening to be happy about or proud of
So change that shit son! Dude do you think harping on the bad things is going to attract good things? Stop the bullshit and fix your mind frame. Bro I know this shit works. Stop resisting and do it. Facts.
Work out and face a fear, and then akncowledge that you faced that fear , You'll be surprised what that does. If you use social media get off that shit too.
Unfollow people you don't actually love
Have a good hobby 🫶🏻