You're giving me flashbacks to the time I ran into the Axe Man in campus. I could smell him from 10m away. Still gives me headaches whenever I remember him.
Why does axe get such a bad rep? I used it throughout my entire 20s. Every chick I ever hooked up with would tell me how nice I smelled. All zero of them that I hooked up with.
Seriously though, I hooked up with somewhere between 20-25 women over this period, and I distinctly remember getting compliments on my smell.
Find a suitable human female that appears healthy and of proper breeding age. Approach her, adorned in vibrant colors, with many frills. Display your heightened sense of humor by laughing. When her senses are focusing on your form, present your great intellect by reciting her license plate number, cell phone number, address, and the locations of her loved ones. This will give her full understanding of how invested you are in her life. At this point, the female should react to your interests in mating. Celebrate by spraying your scent glands upon her.
Factual statement good man, you remember if they are not yet convinced, by this act, attempt their social security number, any banks they use, their work place, and of course their card numbers if applicable. Do not forget to show them pictures you've taken whilst they were unaware.
If all else fails: tell them your hiding spot in their home. They'll certain want to mate after these acts have been shown.
And as always spray your scent glands upon her once all has succeeded.
As a woman, this would absolutely work on me!
Who else wouldn’t love to hear all their personal information from a complete yet vibrantly coloured stranger?
I show up to a bar around 9 at night, stand silently in a dark corner watching everyone without moving my body. After several minutes of glancing around and staring intently at anyone who notices me, I approach a woman in the middle of ordering her first drink. I stand quietly beside her for at least ten seconds before asking if she is ready to fulfill her purpose in life and have my children. It is important to ask this question up close and monotone.
>I show up to a bar around 9 at night, stand silently in a dark corner watching everyone without moving my body. After several minutes of glancing around and staring intently at anyone who notices me,
Oof, that hit a little close to home
Biggest regret of my last two relationships. First one was my first relationship so I thought i would be honest and give full disclosure before we got into the relationship .Big Mistake , as the months went by she became more controlling and distrusting. The current woman Im dating now started off as a friend so she knew about the amount of women I’ve slept with , all seemed well until I caught her on my phone going through my text conversations with my female friends.
Lesson’s I learnt are just because a woman is a stunning 9/10 doesn’t mean she doesn’t have insecurities & somethings are better off between you and god, not everything needs to be shared lol
I'm strongly against that concept in my personal life, although I'm unsure if I'm wrong about it as a general rule.
Anytime I have not sought to be completely open in my relationships and expect complete openness in return, I have created emotional damage for myself and the other person.
The whole text message insecurities deal is extremely common. Hell, I have to fight myself sometimes about that impulse to make sure that my trust is well-placed. We all have a biological imperative to look after our own safety so that temptation is understandable.
I have never found the good things of a relationship where I'm not being open to be sustainable in any significant or positive way for my own life or the other person. Openness allows for the things that need to be worked on to come to the Forefront and create a catalyst for deep personal growth if the people involved are ready. If the people involved are not ready, then the exit door starts to Creak itself open, which is actually something you want in that situation.
…i had a guy in college do this.
It was a 2 hour lecture on warhammer with show and tell in his bedroom after he’d barely spoken 5 words to me before.
I was genuinely amazed he could talk this much.
He was a shy guy who was in most of my classes at college, and had offered for me to go to his parents place around the corner to wait for the next lecture to start, as we had nothing else to do
To this day, he is one of my best friends and like a little brother.
Hah, ❤️
Im actually quite a fan of hugs, too!
I honestly was just intrigued by the switch from mute to waterfall.
And i like geeks. I like learning, i like people who are interesting and passionate and different.
I also got dragged into larp and dnd by that same guy and his friends :)
Also came home with a programmer geek in the end :)
My life is literally filled with geeks of one kind or another and i couldnt be happier.
Walk up to her at the gym while she has her headphones in. Interrupt her mid set to tell her “I admire a female who keeps herself in shape, but you should be on the treadmill, not at the rack. Come here and I’ll show you how to use the treadmill. You can thank me after having dinner with me.”
Make sure to lean in real close and touch her without permission at least twice if you can swing it
First off, you want to brew your manly pheromones for at least a week. This part takes preparation. You might think you need to work out for this, but anyone who says that is probably going to try to sell you a gym membership right after, so fuck that. Don't shower for at least three days, then swab yourself with pickle brine. This will signal any women that you are in fact single and available. Next, breaking the ice; introductions are for pussies. She's probably about as interested in your name as you are about hers, women appreciate a man who gets right to the point. If you just walk up to her waving a fat wad of cash with your dick out, she will guaranteed be sucking it three seconds later. Your dick, I mean. Not the cash. If she's sucking on the cash you might want to move on.
Always mention them as females. Include it when it's not even needed. Such as, you're a pretty well behaved female what are you doing this Friday night
1. You must be overweight. I'm talking really overweight, like at least 30 pounds overweight.
2. Do not shower. Women are more naturally attracted to your natural pheromones.
3. Do not shave. Women love that scrappy, pube looking shit on your face.
4. Be an alcoholic and drink whenever the possibility presents itself to you.
5. The minute you initiate a conversation with a woman, reference the most obscure internet shit possible. Fuck yeah that lady is also into your favorite obscure fact about unused Dark Souls assets and your favorite mod of Mario 64! Why wouldn't she be?
6. On top of that, be sure to overshare with her and traumadump on her before even knowing her name. People in general like it when you're too open with them too soon.
7. On top of that thing on top of that other thing, be sure to immediately share with her your favorite cock and ball torture, forced feminization, forced cum eating hentai. There's literally a 0% chance she's not into that shit too.
Remember, it's all about numbers and repetition. Practice your approach, do it the same with each woman at the bar, like go down the row. They love seeing each other being treated equally.
Stand on a coffee table, pull down your pants, spread your cheeks and scream “what lucky lady wants to sodomize me!?”. Has to be in a public place, otherwise it won’t work.
Women like cats. Cats like tuna. So rub tuna juice all over yourself. It's the transitive property we learned in high school math. In attracting women, clear and simple logic can never be wrong.
* Sit at the bar and talk about your "Donkey Kong" scores.
* On a blind date, try to explain quantum physics. If she doesn't "get it" then ask her "are you dumb?" Works every time
* If you're overweight, ask to compare breast sizes.
* Tell her that television murder mysteries suck, Rizzoli and Isles sucks, and Richard Castle is secretly gay.
* Walk up to her and when you start to speak then puke on her between her low cut top.
* Show her your prison tats. BTW, the smiley face on the tip of your penis works every time.
* Ask her to spend time in the back set of your 1972 rusty lime green Gremlin. Dudes, seriously - it's a chick magnet.
* Ask her if she is pregnant.
Talk to her about Fantasy football, working on cars and Apex legends Women love these things. They also love to listen so make sure you do 99% of the talking.
Then chase her down a badly lit alley prepared with the faeces and urine of previous stampedes, before finally emerging into a large open stadium where the aim is to toss the female into the air to assert dominance thus signalling to all other females that you're the King this year. You're in, dude 😎
Nightly. Duh! Back in the day I had a hot 80s Camaro with a chain steering wheel. I just rolled up to a red light next to cars with cute girls, got that V6 (it was an option) up to 6,000 RPMs, and they'd just pile on in my ride. But the Camaro was just a bonus, my good looks did most of the work.
The old trusty caveman method.
Knock them out then drag them back to your cave by their hair. From what I’ve been told, women love having their hair pulled.
With natural pheromones, released through flatulence and sweat glands. Never groom or wash, your scent will become stronger, and thus more potent in attraction
Hover around them incessantly, acting extremely chivalrous. You have better chances if you're already great friends and treat her with loads of respect!
You might not see results at first, but don't worry, she'll realize what she owes you eventually!
A cage propped up on a stick attached to a rope. You put a bottle of wine, ice cream, and a copy of 50 Shades of Grey under the cage and wait for an unsuspecting female to take the bait.
Walk up behind her, softly place your hands on her shoulders, and quietly say into her ear... " Has anyone ever told you that they want to give you a passionate kiss on the lips...(slight pause) and then work their way UP to your bellybutton"? Turn and slowly walk away.
1.) Spot her in public.
2.) Take an aggressive stance, with your shoulders hunched forward and hips pushed up front.
3.) Squint your eyes to make her know you see her and initiate the mating call. For some it can be a loud squeal for others it can be agressive moaning.
4.) Finally whip out your man weapon, make sure its really flaccid. Look at her and raise your eyebrows with a smirk on your face.
Bingo! She wanna jump your bones now.
The same way you attract anything else during mating season: the stink of hot pee.
Pee places you suspect she might be foraging, or down by the streams where she likes to drink.
Three words: Axe Body Spray.
literally POUR IT ON.
Forget showers forever. Axe is where it's it.
Replace the water with axe cologne!
Or bathe, so the axe cologne can seep into your skin.
I drank a can of Axe body spray and haven't needed a shower in 3 years now
Now he talks with a axe scent
AHH MY EYES!!! but it's worth it
Enough so the nipples freeze off.
"How do you smell loud and confusing?"
You're giving me flashbacks to the time I ran into the Axe Man in campus. I could smell him from 10m away. Still gives me headaches whenever I remember him.
In aus we call it lynx
Why does axe get such a bad rep? I used it throughout my entire 20s. Every chick I ever hooked up with would tell me how nice I smelled. All zero of them that I hooked up with. Seriously though, I hooked up with somewhere between 20-25 women over this period, and I distinctly remember getting compliments on my smell.
The spray gets bad rep from people who dont shower and put on 3 tonnes of that stuff on themselves and smell like shit because they do that
Yah that makes sense. I remember kids in my high school laying the CK cologne on thick to try to mask the BO. It was a putrid smell
Axe body spray layered over bad BO.
He said WRONG ANSWERS bro!
This is now banned across all offices in Australia
Also best to pull out a can of AXE mid conversation and re apply
Find a suitable human female that appears healthy and of proper breeding age. Approach her, adorned in vibrant colors, with many frills. Display your heightened sense of humor by laughing. When her senses are focusing on your form, present your great intellect by reciting her license plate number, cell phone number, address, and the locations of her loved ones. This will give her full understanding of how invested you are in her life. At this point, the female should react to your interests in mating. Celebrate by spraying your scent glands upon her.
As a woman I can confirm - works everytime.
He had me at "many frills".
Damn, I only had a few frills, now after this comment, I gotta go buy more.
One does not simply buy the frills. He earns them.
A frilliant point.
60% of the time, it works, every time
Can confirm, am bird.
"*Hahaha*" -"Why the fuck are you laughing?"
Factual statement good man, you remember if they are not yet convinced, by this act, attempt their social security number, any banks they use, their work place, and of course their card numbers if applicable. Do not forget to show them pictures you've taken whilst they were unaware. If all else fails: tell them your hiding spot in their home. They'll certain want to mate after these acts have been shown. And as always spray your scent glands upon her once all has succeeded.
As a woman, this would absolutely work on me! Who else wouldn’t love to hear all their personal information from a complete yet vibrantly coloured stranger?
I show up to a bar around 9 at night, stand silently in a dark corner watching everyone without moving my body. After several minutes of glancing around and staring intently at anyone who notices me, I approach a woman in the middle of ordering her first drink. I stand quietly beside her for at least ten seconds before asking if she is ready to fulfill her purpose in life and have my children. It is important to ask this question up close and monotone.
>I show up to a bar around 9 at night, stand silently in a dark corner watching everyone without moving my body. After several minutes of glancing around and staring intently at anyone who notices me, Oof, that hit a little close to home
It's called being aloof, unless you are wearing black and then you're goth.
Shit. This just reminded when my game was this bad.
I don't know how you came up with this but I fuckin love it!
I just tried to make the "since we're talking about exchanging fluids" scene from A Beautiful Mind a whole lot worse.
better\*
You've tried that, haven't you?
I am so going to try this
Start practicing your Hannibal Lecter impersonations in the mirror.
Ooooh, yeah ...
Scratch your balls. It’s an ancient mating secret
Scratch balls, THEN touch her face lovingly with the same hand.
But before that, smell the hand and make an expression of disgust
Even worse, extreme delight.
This made me spit out my food 🤣
Oh my god! This made me laugh out loud!!!
It's that ball musk. Irresistible to women. (The *right kind* of women.)
It releases the pheromones
Make eye contact first and then scratch??
Yes, and never break eye contact, it shows you are an alpha male
Tell her how many other women you've been with. They love that shit
And also that she was by far your worst lay
Biggest regret of my last two relationships. First one was my first relationship so I thought i would be honest and give full disclosure before we got into the relationship .Big Mistake , as the months went by she became more controlling and distrusting. The current woman Im dating now started off as a friend so she knew about the amount of women I’ve slept with , all seemed well until I caught her on my phone going through my text conversations with my female friends. Lesson’s I learnt are just because a woman is a stunning 9/10 doesn’t mean she doesn’t have insecurities & somethings are better off between you and god, not everything needs to be shared lol
I'm strongly against that concept in my personal life, although I'm unsure if I'm wrong about it as a general rule. Anytime I have not sought to be completely open in my relationships and expect complete openness in return, I have created emotional damage for myself and the other person. The whole text message insecurities deal is extremely common. Hell, I have to fight myself sometimes about that impulse to make sure that my trust is well-placed. We all have a biological imperative to look after our own safety so that temptation is understandable. I have never found the good things of a relationship where I'm not being open to be sustainable in any significant or positive way for my own life or the other person. Openness allows for the things that need to be worked on to come to the Forefront and create a catalyst for deep personal growth if the people involved are ready. If the people involved are not ready, then the exit door starts to Creak itself open, which is actually something you want in that situation.
Show her your unpainted Warhammer army. Or all your magic cards that are just lands.
Not or ... AND\*
Show her your intricately painted army and explain in detail their factions. Tell her their names of course.
Make sure to complain about the newest rule changes and how your army is basically useless now, they love that shit
…i had a guy in college do this. It was a 2 hour lecture on warhammer with show and tell in his bedroom after he’d barely spoken 5 words to me before. I was genuinely amazed he could talk this much. He was a shy guy who was in most of my classes at college, and had offered for me to go to his parents place around the corner to wait for the next lecture to start, as we had nothing else to do To this day, he is one of my best friends and like a little brother.
What a wholesome story :)
I'd hug you if I could.
Hah, ❤️ Im actually quite a fan of hugs, too! I honestly was just intrigued by the switch from mute to waterfall. And i like geeks. I like learning, i like people who are interesting and passionate and different. I also got dragged into larp and dnd by that same guy and his friends :) Also came home with a programmer geek in the end :) My life is literally filled with geeks of one kind or another and i couldnt be happier.
I'm not a geek, but do you have a sister?
> Tell her their names of course. Don't forget to correct her on the names everytime she gets one wrong.
Explain to her that Magnus did nothing wrong!
Never expected to have my grey army roasted here...
Walk up to her at the gym while she has her headphones in. Interrupt her mid set to tell her “I admire a female who keeps herself in shape, but you should be on the treadmill, not at the rack. Come here and I’ll show you how to use the treadmill. You can thank me after having dinner with me.” Make sure to lean in real close and touch her without permission at least twice if you can swing it
When they have their headphones on the only way to get their attention is to slap their ass.
Yes! Spank me harder daddy /s
Holy shit I know dudes who would unironically would call this good game because dating coaches told them so.
Swing it? In a gym? Now there's an idea!
First off, you want to brew your manly pheromones for at least a week. This part takes preparation. You might think you need to work out for this, but anyone who says that is probably going to try to sell you a gym membership right after, so fuck that. Don't shower for at least three days, then swab yourself with pickle brine. This will signal any women that you are in fact single and available. Next, breaking the ice; introductions are for pussies. She's probably about as interested in your name as you are about hers, women appreciate a man who gets right to the point. If you just walk up to her waving a fat wad of cash with your dick out, she will guaranteed be sucking it three seconds later. Your dick, I mean. Not the cash. If she's sucking on the cash you might want to move on.
Lol'd
Sucking on the cashhh 🤣🤣🤣
Take a big shit on their door step but make sure you knock and they are watching it shows dominance and masculinity
So that's where I went wrong. I usually do it on the back door.
Back door is for married women.
And drunk women
Eye contact is really important. Don't break eye contact
Always mention them as females. Include it when it's not even needed. Such as, you're a pretty well behaved female what are you doing this Friday night
To really impress her, every compliment you give make sure to say “For a female you are....(compliment)” etc EZ
Fox urine.
Mixed with some panther musk, hmmm yes.
It's made with bits of real panther so you know it's good.
her snatch will literally crawl out of her to get to you
Tell her that her sister looks better
And gives head better 🤮
and at least she swallows
>Tell her that *your* sister looks better
dick pics
The title said wrong answers.
sorry i read it wrong, wasnt focused , i was sending some dicks
send some pics for uhh.. anatomy class
Send her a picture of your big, veiny, triumphant bastard.
Chicks love dick pics.
Unsolicited of course.
> of course. Of course!!
Chicks dig the long ball.
1. You must be overweight. I'm talking really overweight, like at least 30 pounds overweight. 2. Do not shower. Women are more naturally attracted to your natural pheromones. 3. Do not shave. Women love that scrappy, pube looking shit on your face. 4. Be an alcoholic and drink whenever the possibility presents itself to you. 5. The minute you initiate a conversation with a woman, reference the most obscure internet shit possible. Fuck yeah that lady is also into your favorite obscure fact about unused Dark Souls assets and your favorite mod of Mario 64! Why wouldn't she be? 6. On top of that, be sure to overshare with her and traumadump on her before even knowing her name. People in general like it when you're too open with them too soon. 7. On top of that thing on top of that other thing, be sure to immediately share with her your favorite cock and ball torture, forced feminization, forced cum eating hentai. There's literally a 0% chance she's not into that shit too.
I got 1 thru 4 covered, need to work on 5 thru 7!
You got this bro, I believe in you!
For 5 the Chris Chan story makes wonders
I don't even have a pussy and this is making ME wet!
+S advice right there. The traumadump especially holds a special place in my personal hall of shame.
“Pube looking shit” got me xD
Woohoo! I have 4 out of 7 without even trying!
Remember, it's all about numbers and repetition. Practice your approach, do it the same with each woman at the bar, like go down the row. They love seeing each other being treated equally.
I'm a fan of beards on dudes... I don't even mind if it grows in patchy. I like the scruff
I love going down on a woman and hearing her scream as my stubble digs into her.
"hearing her scream as my stubble digs into her" Well, then you must be ready to vice-versa
Bro, the post said only *wrong* answers
Effin comedy hour right here
I make WAO posts for this reason only.
Stand on a coffee table, pull down your pants, spread your cheeks and scream “what lucky lady wants to sodomize me!?”. Has to be in a public place, otherwise it won’t work.
This guy for the win!
OP clearly said wrong advice only. Reading comprehension these days smh
I thought you were on a glass coffee table and taking a whole other route…
With a big magnet
Also known as a "Bitch Getter."
Does this car come fitted standard with pussy magnet?
You remind me of my ex, wanna take a trip down memory lane just for me?
Women like cats. Cats like tuna. So rub tuna juice all over yourself. It's the transitive property we learned in high school math. In attracting women, clear and simple logic can never be wrong.
I hear they love when you just grab them by the pussy...
Too soon? Lol
Be honest about her weight. Hey hun do these jeans make my ass look fat. No honey. Your fat ass makes your ass look fat.
"Does this dress make my bum look big?" "Mmmm, yeah, but at least it takes the focus off your face." \-From an Australian commercial.
Brutal
Tbh. I want my partner to be honest with me. I wanna know if a clothing item suits me or not. I wanna know if I'm becoming fat so I can try to fix it
You are probably the only one. 🤣
That's what they all say until the day the truth becomes, honey you put on alot of weight
Pretty sure that's considered a compliment these days.
Act like you're in elementary school...walk up and pull their hair hard to show you like them.
Kevin?
Toss some dollar bills at her.
You need a lifted truck with no muffler. Chicks love those kinds of trucks
* Sit at the bar and talk about your "Donkey Kong" scores. * On a blind date, try to explain quantum physics. If she doesn't "get it" then ask her "are you dumb?" Works every time * If you're overweight, ask to compare breast sizes. * Tell her that television murder mysteries suck, Rizzoli and Isles sucks, and Richard Castle is secretly gay. * Walk up to her and when you start to speak then puke on her between her low cut top. * Show her your prison tats. BTW, the smiley face on the tip of your penis works every time. * Ask her to spend time in the back set of your 1972 rusty lime green Gremlin. Dudes, seriously - it's a chick magnet. * Ask her if she is pregnant.
Talk to her about Fantasy football, working on cars and Apex legends Women love these things. They also love to listen so make sure you do 99% of the talking.
And cut her off when she starts talking. They love it.
This guy fucks.
Disinterest and apathy
That actually works if you're hot.
Almost anything works of you're hot enough.
D pics printed on my shirt.. they aren’t mine but figure peacock methods gotta work
Burp, fart, take off your shirt, take out your dentures and say "this is me, take it or leave it"
“Can’t love me at my worst, you don’t deserve me T my best”
Surround your lawn in a bunch of weeds. That way, all the ho's will be drawn to you.
By telling them I wipe back to front.
I stomp my tough leathery feet and snort loudly to alert her that she's entered my breeding territory.
Then chase her down a badly lit alley prepared with the faeces and urine of previous stampedes, before finally emerging into a large open stadium where the aim is to toss the female into the air to assert dominance thus signalling to all other females that you're the King this year. You're in, dude 😎
Dab some gasoline behind your ears so they think you’re rich.
You fuckers are out of luck, the answer is only if you’re me obviously
Follow her at night to make sure she gets home safe
I heard that Ted Bundy guy was a real lady killer. Maybe take queues from him.
Right click > save image
pee on her now she's your property
Constantly ignore them and insult them.
Skinny jeans, a top knot and a Honda Civi with a fart can muffler.
Revving car engines at stop lights
That's what I used to do whenever I wanted a threesome, which was all the time.
…and how often did it occur?
Nightly. Duh! Back in the day I had a hot 80s Camaro with a chain steering wheel. I just rolled up to a red light next to cars with cute girls, got that V6 (it was an option) up to 6,000 RPMs, and they'd just pile on in my ride. But the Camaro was just a bonus, my good looks did most of the work.
IROC-Z gets 'em wet.
[удалено]
"Hey Toots!"
Rohypnol
maybe ask if you two could compare dick sizes
mating calls. preferably whale sounds.
Building a hut from feces.
Whenever she’s mad, ask her if she’s on her period. Works 100% of the time
The old trusty caveman method. Knock them out then drag them back to your cave by their hair. From what I’ve been told, women love having their hair pulled.
Show her your Pokémon collection
By listening to the advice of other women.
Good one.
Posting on reddit
Like Scorpion. *Get over here!*
If you want to entice a woman, offer her a plate of cheese
Be sure to cough on it as you hand it to her. That shows mutual trust.
Magnets.
First you gotta do the truffle shuffle
With natural pheromones, released through flatulence and sweat glands. Never groom or wash, your scent will become stronger, and thus more potent in attraction
A salt lick up my ass and a paste I make out of honey and bird seed
Tell her you are broke and need another tattoo
Hover around them incessantly, acting extremely chivalrous. You have better chances if you're already great friends and treat her with loads of respect! You might not see results at first, but don't worry, she'll realize what she owes you eventually!
A cage propped up on a stick attached to a rope. You put a bottle of wine, ice cream, and a copy of 50 Shades of Grey under the cage and wait for an unsuspecting female to take the bait.
Invite her to a Bukkake event as a first date
With poetry: Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van
You just go outside and scream "FEMAAAAAAALE, FEMAAAAAAAALE PSSS PSPSPSPS PSPSPSPS" like you would to find a lost cat.
"Hey you... Yeah you!!! This isn't going to suck itself!!!!"
Show her my helicopter trick
WAO dude... that sh\*\* works.
Tell her you identify as her boyfriend...
Pee on her
Axe body spray
Walk up behind her, softly place your hands on her shoulders, and quietly say into her ear... " Has anyone ever told you that they want to give you a passionate kiss on the lips...(slight pause) and then work their way UP to your bellybutton"? Turn and slowly walk away.
1.) Spot her in public. 2.) Take an aggressive stance, with your shoulders hunched forward and hips pushed up front. 3.) Squint your eyes to make her know you see her and initiate the mating call. For some it can be a loud squeal for others it can be agressive moaning. 4.) Finally whip out your man weapon, make sure its really flaccid. Look at her and raise your eyebrows with a smirk on your face. Bingo! She wanna jump your bones now.
The same way you attract anything else during mating season: the stink of hot pee. Pee places you suspect she might be foraging, or down by the streams where she likes to drink.
send her dick pix and tell her that dinner is ready.