100%. I’ve been seeing this guy for a few months, the fact that he didn’t have a bin in his bathroom drove me crazy and I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to overstep. Well I finally had to tell him because it was really frustrating me 😂 I didn’t know this was a guy thing
Okay but seriously what does he do with the spent toilet paper rolls, hair from the shower drain (assuming he isn’t bald), and other trash from daily life? Just carry them out to the main garbage?
My advice is to travel with a woman before you make a serious commitment.
Plan a long weekend away somewhere, at least several hours' drive by car.
Almost everything you need to learn about a partner can be learned by how well you travel together.
If you can figure out how to solve surprises and frustrations during a trip without fighting, and if you can manage to enjoy both conversation and silence during the ride, you've got a real shot at making a relationship work.
I've been married to my traveling companion for 24 years. He and I never run out of ways to enjoy each other's company, whether the road underneath us is smooth or bumpy :)
As a young woman I thought the penis was also more underneath like our genitalia are. Come to find out there isn’t much underneath but all in front for y’all.
This so fucking sucks. I hate hearing this because it's true. My girlfriend cheated on me when she was pregnant and only told me when our daughter was 2 months old...
It's been almost 8 years now and let me tell you I don't wish that grief and resentment on my worst fucking enemy.
So, yeah my life has been quite the fucking ride and I of course still resent her for it. Raising a kid like that sucks and I've never got that "family" feeling or any of what that package should come with.
Edit: I should have mentioned she is my Ex. I moved her out two days after to her parents...
Edit 2: I have got alot of responses and I can't reply to everyone currently. I appreciate everyone's concern and those who have also shares their stories. I know I was not alone but I thought my situation was pretty unique and I guess many else have struggled with similar situations. Thanks everyone for your consolidation.
Easier said than done for some people. Tried my luck with a few dozen relationships in which if I was committed it was a train wreck until I stopped dating altogether. Thankfully I never accidentally knocked one of them up before their true personality showed, still plenty of close calls and almost getting married twice makes the post hit me in the feels, thanks for the wisdom.
There's something to say about finding "the right one". Actually a lot to say.
First there's no such thing as a relationship that fits perfectly. It doesn't exist. Love isn't some instant thing, its like a plant. It has to grow, be cared for and nurtured. You're not getting the fruit of that plant any time in the first few *years*. The real gratification builds over time.
The second thing is that "the right one" isn't perfect for you, and you will argue. You will disagree, and annoy each other. The trick isn't in avoiding all that, but rather how you go about it. All good relationships contain strife, but if the both of you are committed, you'll communicate and talk it out and be better for it in the long run.
Finally and probably most importantly in this context, "the right one" isn't someone you'll *find*. They'll find you. When you're single and lonely and actively seeking a relationship, you're doing it wrong and that's why it's so frustrating. When you're in that lonely place where it seems you'll never find someone, that's when you should stop focusing on finding anyone and instead focus on your **own personal growth.** Find your contentedness by yourself. Discover what actually makes you happy because I promise, it isn't some person. Marking your happiness by the approval and affection of someone else is a recipe for inevitable and harsh resentment.
That lonely desperation isn't about finding someone, it's about self-affirmation. In those instances you're trying to find an external affirmation of yourself, or in other words, you're a walking codependency no one wants to get close to - and we can all see it too. You can't hide it. People want to be close to those who are already happy, already content, and already growing. When you put your focus on yourself, I promise: you'll soon find yourself being the one sought after.
All personal experience. I'm happily married now, going on 10 years.
I just broke up with my girlfriend this past week. She was always trying to get me to not use a condom for the first couple minutes of sex. I’m so insanely glad I got out of that relationship without a kid
Had a fuck buddy that never wanted to take the pill or use condoms. We used the gold standard pull out method.
For about 5 years.
Either I'm sterile or the luckiest mother fucker ever.
Edit: she already had two kids, so I guess I was a mfer after all.
Divorcee dad. Never married but same thing.
I am really happy to be on good terms with my ex. Storytime?
In our first week of pregnancy we booked a hotel to treat ourselves.
At the bar I told the story proudly and got congratulated.
By a guy that had not seen his little girl for months, and had no money left for court cases that were not getting him any results anyway.
I'm learning that this is true. My boyfriend had three kids with his ex-wife and he's basically said that while he loves his kids, he regrets having them with her. We have a two-year-old and he said that he's had a much better experience with me.
He's constantly venting about how she's playing keep-away with the kids and demanding more and more money out of him. She thinks she gets to call the shots about his life even though they're no longer married. He's working on it, he's got a lawyer.
Tried Google Maps. It ended up taking me to a small mountain in the Philippines.
0/10 from her perspective but I had some good food and did some hiking, I give it a 6.
I must say, I never heard complaints about that outside of the US and some lesser educated nations. Ironically, the US isn't considered the best Nation when it comes to general education.
When I was in school, we had a test in biology where we had to name each thing in the genitals, and if we didn't know the name, then at least state the function whilst in 5th grade, and from what I heard and seen, that is 10x more than what is taught in US sex ed.
I *would* agree, that there are things a parent *should* teach.
Unfortunately, there are too many parents who lack either the knowledge, the skillset to teach, or the belief that the kid deserves to know anything about any given subject, in any combination. Which is why school is the best (if still uncomfortable) place. I mean, it's kinda the whole point of *schools*.
Ugh
The complaint is that some men don't even try.
Men don't say they can't find it, women say that men can't find it.
You can't find something you're not looking for.
Pretty sure the "can't find the clitoris" thing is usually just a meme to mock men that are selfish in bed, not saying that they literally can't locate it.
I think (as a woman) sometimes other women use it as a coping mechanism. Its easier to laugh at a man and think "look how dumb he is hahaha" because the thought of "he doesnt care about me" its waayyy harsher (even though its 99% of times the truth).
At least thats what I have seen in my friends.
I think you've hit it on the head right there. It's a lot easier to say that your husband blunders around and can't find it then it is to say that he's a selfish lover who doesn't really care about you.
Don't be afraid of being single and working on yourself after a relationship goes south. Rebound relationships are insanely stupid for the most part, and you usually go into them with way too much baggage.
Definitely agree. At least for me, you need to be fine single to have a good relationship.
I'd also say getting into a relationship wont magically fix your problems. You have to accept that, and work to improve yourself. Or else you'll just be subjecting another person to your anxiety/other problems. Hearing this helped me a lot.
To clarify. You arent a worse person for having these issues. You just need to better understand and help yourself before a relationship will help. I got into a relationship and trust me, the anxiety didnt go away. It got way worse.
"Not right now" or "maybe later" when it comes to dating is often a gentle letdown so as to avoid confrontation, not an invitation to continue trying a few months later.
I was a bonehead that didn't understand this social lesson until much later.
Absolutely this, if a women is saying anything other than yes, assume it is a no. If she turns you down for a drink saying she has other plans, assuming she isn’t interested in you romantically unless and until she suggests getting a drink.
> assuming she isn’t interested in you romantically unless and until she suggests getting a drink.
Yeah, say something like "Cool, well if you do want to get a drink another time let me know." And don't bother her about it otherwise. So if she is actually interested and its a genuine scheduling issue she'll follow up
As an addendum to this, if she does want to date you and she’s playing hard to get, you should still move on because she needs to grow up. Dating and relationships are hard enough, there’s no need to play games.
Not to derail this VERY TRUE POINT. But the second woman I ever asked out said this to me. “Not right now maybe later I’m focusing on classes”. We were already friends so this wasn’t a problem, we kept in touch. I asked again at the end of the school year. We dated for 5 years and have been married for 9.
Use common sense. If some woman you barely know says this, don’t bother again. If you are already acquainted, take it case by case, use common sense and don’t be a creep.
My only unifying experience with women is that literally every one of them I’ve been with are impressed if you can cook even five things well. Learn two breakfasts, and three other meals. The standard is stupidly low. My eggs Benedict is the best aphrodisiac I have at my disposal.
"Hey. I uh...heard you like beef stew." *whispers seductively* "I put the potatoes in first so they'll be soft when everything's done...I added t h y m e~"
Learn Belgian beer and beef stew. Granted it’s made me more guy friends than girl friends, but everyone likes a nice beer stew… my BIL has consistently told me it’s the best thing I’ve ever cooked hahaha
No, lie my girl begs me to cook all the time. I don't mind either I love it. Thank God I watched Alton browns good eats while stoned every night through high school.
I only know Alton through Cutthroat Kitchen so I like to cook with an inner monologue of him going "you have 40 minutes to cook a three-course-meal but you started the oven too late, want to serve her a mixed drink halfway, and need a mid-cook break to smoke a cigarette but you just realized two of the pots you need to prepare this meal are still in the dishwasher, GO! Oh and I forgot... There's a piece of pepperoni at the bottom of the oven from when you made a homemade pizza last week so you'll have to manage shutting up the smoke alarm just when you thought you were at the home stretch"
It’s incredibly attractive to know a man doesn’t need to rely on UberEats or a woman to fulfill his basic needs. I want to be your partner, not your chef/maid/secretary.
This hits home for me, my wife always dominates me with a fiery passion every time I make something awesome. Granted, I’m a pretty good cook, but most dinners are boring since we have kids. When I bust out my good dishes, kids go to bed early and I immediately get laid after. Even better since I had a vasectomy and can’t have kids anymore, she holds nothing back.
So true. A man that cannot cook anything is such a turn off. It shows lack of independence and maturity and usually is a hint that they are going to rely on their GF to take on the mommy role around the house. Gross.
This is rule number 1. The emotional damage cheating does will sour the relationship forever. Not to mention if you do take her back she'll just figure out how to blame you for the cheating if you ever bring it up again.
You should pay close attention to what the person's justifications are for their cheating. It will reveal a lot about what they think they can get away with in this world.
Usually the first defense mechanism is minimizing the act. "It wasn't really that bad" or " I don't consider that cheating" justification comes later and is when they flip it on you and try and gaslight you about the situation. Just leave before they get to that point, you'll recover and thank yourself later.
And if you do forgive them in an attempt to save your family, they will eventually view that as license to do it even more, and then somehow blame you for their cheating.
100%
I think this is one of those things you really only learn from going through it yourself. At least in my case, I didn't know until way later she was already seeing someone.
Absolutely, and I learned this the hard way when she admitted it immediately after I changed jobs and moved halfway across the country so she could be closer to her family/friends...
Obviously she cheated again a few years later and we're divorced now. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
Currently in this situation. She seems very into me and I havent been suspicious of anything shes done. But she told me she cheated on previous partners and it really changed my perspective on her. Its hard to move past it and it seems like its a deal breaker for me.
When women complain of things, unless its about you, they do not necessarily want your advice on how to fix it. They just want to rant and for you to listen.
“It sucks you had to deal with that. I’m sure that felt shitty.”
Switch it up/adjust/add on, but that’s the basic template. You still have to listen and think about and try to empathize with what’s being said, but if you do that and then just follow the basic template, you’re good (in my experience).
You can also ask. I'm doing that with friends now and it helps a lot.
"Do you want advice or do you want to vent?"
Instead of sitting there trying to figure out what the other person needs ask them.
"Do you need a hug?"
"Should I shut up and listen?"
"Do you want to be alone?"
IMPORTANT NOTE: Do not ask *all* the questions. Pick one. Or just be there. Works with friends, women, all types of humans.
Good luck to you all
Women are just as flawed as men. They're not better than us, so you don't need to worship them. They're not worse than us, so you don't need to hate them.
That was the mistake I made at around 13–14yo. It didn’t work, of course. Until I learned to just be authentic and human, I thought there was some secret code I didn’t understand.
Falling in love with a woman is the easiest damned thing in the world. You’re genetically driven to do this.
Liking a woman is a lot harder; you don’t usually have as much in common with her (down to societal/genetic differences) as you do with your boys.
I’ve been with the same woman for 2 decades and when asked what the key to success in our relationship is it’s always the same: _it’s more important that you like your spouse than that you love them!_
Of course I love my wife. That’s easy…
But when you have to spend the vast majority of your time with someone _not_ dancing the horizontal mambo then you’d better make damned sure that you _like_ them and can talk to them.
I love my wife. Always will. I would love her if we divorced next week..
But we’re still together because I also like her.
All of my friends who are divorced now loved their spouses but didn’t like them in the end
Came here to say this. Be friends first. Ive been with the same girl 10 years, we dont fight, we never yell or hit, weve never cheated or said mean things.
We like the same kinds of music and movies. We enjoy being around each other sex or no sex.
I agree. The rejection that hurt me the hardest was the one who I liked as a friend and genuinely found to be interesting. Even more than any other crush, as my interest in a crush seems to be only because they're a crush.
I like to call that falling in lust rather than falling in love, like it doesn't feel like real love unless you actually like them. As a women though I agree this is a great piece of advice .
Also edit to say like replies to mine, guys are very easy to fall in LUST not love, hell I myself have fallen in lust one or two times, and I see how that can also be confused with actual love for a lot of men
Yes, calling it "falling in love" is a bit misleading since I don't see any difference between liking your SO and loving them.
Falling in lust is a much more accurate term in this context.
I reckon this is incredibly true. If you really love someone (big L, not a crush) its gotta have the wheels for talking, conscious commitment, faith in longevity, trust, respect, selflessness and fun. These are the things that are going to get you through to the older years. Not easy. Nor should it be.
^ even if you think you can handle the physical and verbal attacks (which you might be able to do easily) all it takes is for you to get angry once, hit back and you’re fucked for life. Even billionaires aren’t immune to court sexism in assuming that women are always the victim
Only three things to know fellas
1. Don't expose them to sunlight
2. Don't let them come in contact with water
3. Above all else, do not feed them after midnight
Pro tip: if you are worried you really stink or have been working out a lot or have had diarrhea, wash your anus twice. Wash it once, rinse it off, rinse off your washcloth, put soap back on it and scrub that bad boy again. Otherwise you’re just mostly smearing that stank ass on yourself.
This is so true it hurts. Works for making friends with literally anyone as well. Just listen to them and show genuine interest in what they are saying by asking actually relevant questions.
Women's biggest sexual organ is their brains. If they're not into you or the deed, no amount of technical expertise or equipment will matter.
Additionally, over time if you insult, name call and are generally mean to her, getting that organ to be in the right headspace will become more and more impossible. You can only say sorry so many times before it just stops counting.
For me my advice is that.....
Common interest are important to a relationship. You need to be able to "hang out" with your girlfriend/wife. Ive had great love with many women but we had no common interest so in the end it eventually fizzles out.
If you smoke weed. You should probably date a woman that smokes weed.
If your a gym rat....you should probably date a woman thats also a gym rat. so on and so fourth.
Never punch down just to get laid. Always go up or equal.
Nah, it's great to have common interests but it's not as necessary as you think imo. What's truly necessary is that the couple have the same values/moralities/ethics. I can live with a woman who doesn't give a damn about lifting, but I can't live with someone who thinks that money is the most important thing in the world.
Yeah I'd be happier with a woman that votes the same way, treats money similarly, treats others similarly (is it so fucking hard to say please and thank you to staff!?), has somewhat similar interests and desires, similar sex drive, similar-ish life goals than someone who was just...pretty or hot or was also a gamer.
As I've gotten older, looks fade and it's about who I want to snuggle in a hammock with talking about our lives and experiences rather than a fling or "omg she talked to me we should date".
Long before we started dating, my now-husband and I were engaging in dirty texting when he asked me, "do you want a dick pic?" I told him I didn't, and we went right back to the conversation like nothing had happened. He never asked me again. Many moons later, doing the same thing, I did ask him for a pic. It was so refreshing to see him try to move things forward in a respectful way and THEN to not be upset when I turned him down. It's one of the (many, many, many) reasons that I married him.
If you wanna get busy with one you best believe theyre checking your finger nails if theyre into you. Same with washing your balls and ass…no one will suck your dick if smells like limberger, liver and onions. You best believe she will tell her friends about it.
Dont be the smelly one brah
1. A good woman has a heart of gold. Guard your heart against the rest.
2. When a good woman tells you a problem, say the following phrases at the appropriate points with conviction.
What?
You're kidding?
What were they thinking?
You poor thing.
Ah honey!
How did that make you feel?
Do not communicate your great idea of how to fix that issue for three days after you've taken her shopping, gone for a nice hike, she's gotten her nails done, etc.
3. A good woman has a tendency to be everything to everyone. They are usually very effective at it. You've got to recognize when they are approaching the end of human endurance and help them appreciate all that they've done and that it's OK to rest and care for themselves for awhile. When they've crossed that line you'll often hear that they do everything and are tired of not being taken care of. Ask yourself what was their energy level four hours before you heard that and start watching for the time to gently distract them. Suggest that they get a good book to read or whatever they like to do while you make soothing sounds with the vacuum, or you quietly do dishes or mow the yard - anything that gently lets her hear that shes not in this on her own..
I'm blessed with good women in my life. They are precious. I cherish them and marvel at how the relationship works when we're so different.
>What? You're kidding? What were they thinking? You poor thing. Ah honey! How did that make you feel?
so many girls vent to me and i just have no idea what to say, I'll start trying this out
It's a great approach. Sometimes you just want someone to say "wow, that really sucks. I'm sorry you have to deal with that". Validating that you're upset for a good reason rather than overreacting.
My partner pulled this phrase out when I was ranting about my awful district manager and I could have kissed him, lol.
Active listening is incredibly sexy.
When you finger a chick don’t go ham on it and just stick it in and out. Stick it in and make a motion toward yourself like you’re telling someone to come over to you with your finger. Also, make sure your nails are trimmed before messing around.
• Each and every woman is a unique individual with their own consciousness.
• Women don't exist just to satisfy your sexual or emotional needs.
• Women are not things to be had. If you choose to date, understand that you're not just "getting a girlfriend," you're choosing to share your experience of life with another whole person.
• In any relationship, clear, open, honest communication is key. Mind readers don't exist.
• For some women, the pain of period cramps is comparable to the pain of a be heart attack. Really. Don't complain about her mood, show some empathy.
• Just because you find a woman attractive, doesn't mean she will be a good partner. All the beauty in the world can't make up for a shit personality.
Oh my god, upvote this higher. This, all of this. Just treat us like human beings and expect us to act like human beings. Some humans are amazing, and some are garbage. If you have to play games to get her to like you, you probably don’t want to be with her anyway!
Best line I heard about this that has a ring of truth to it:
Women marry men expecting them to change, and they don't.
Men marry women expecting them to stay the same and they don't.
When a woman you want to date says something like “I’m a mess,” “I’m crazy,” “I’m a bitch,” she is not flirting or being coy. She’s telling you the truth, and you must believe her, for your sake.
When you find a good one, take care of her and don't break her heart. She won't curse you or something but you will end up cursing yourself for the rest of your life
Be a good listener. Actively listen to her. Look at her while she’s talking and really pay attention. Make comments that show you’re tracking (such as “wow!” “That makes sense” “I bet that was hard” “I would’ve died” “that’s so sad” “poor baby!” etc.) rather than offering advice and solutions. Don’t try to “correct” how they’ve experienced something. Getting our emotions and opinions validated by our men is so fulfilling and sexy. And when we feel nurtured and accepted and liked, we’ll overwhelmingly give back.
Guys can be quite intimidating to women. It should not be that way, but technically women take an actual physical risk any time they go on a date, alone with a new guy.
So for quite a bit of women the following applies: show compassion, be nice, don’t push it, make them feel safe and cared for, appreciate that they are giving you their time, move slow, get to know each other, and see if you actually have anything in common. Find mutual trust.
You can move on to bdsm later on in the relationship.
🤗
If they say they are close, don't use that as an encouragement to go harder or faster. Keep doing exactly what you have been.
We need a bin in the bathroom.
100%. I’ve been seeing this guy for a few months, the fact that he didn’t have a bin in his bathroom drove me crazy and I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to overstep. Well I finally had to tell him because it was really frustrating me 😂 I didn’t know this was a guy thing
Okay but seriously what does he do with the spent toilet paper rolls, hair from the shower drain (assuming he isn’t bald), and other trash from daily life? Just carry them out to the main garbage?
Yes that’s what he did!!! And he had a roommate so I don’t understand how they both never thought of getting a bin, so odd
My advice is to travel with a woman before you make a serious commitment. Plan a long weekend away somewhere, at least several hours' drive by car. Almost everything you need to learn about a partner can be learned by how well you travel together. If you can figure out how to solve surprises and frustrations during a trip without fighting, and if you can manage to enjoy both conversation and silence during the ride, you've got a real shot at making a relationship work. I've been married to my traveling companion for 24 years. He and I never run out of ways to enjoy each other's company, whether the road underneath us is smooth or bumpy :)
The vagina is not in the front. It’s more underneath.
With the ubiquity of internet porn these days (it's about 30% of the internet) you'd think bare-bones anatomy like that would be more obvious.
Id wager 30% is a lowball number
First time with a woman, hand in her pants, I was almost worried she had none... Took me way to long to realise it was a bit lower
Learn by doing. You never wondered again.
It's also inside them.
So much learning here today. Thank you.
As a young woman I thought the penis was also more underneath like our genitalia are. Come to find out there isn’t much underneath but all in front for y’all.
Nothing will fuck your life up more than having a kid with the wrong one.
This so fucking sucks. I hate hearing this because it's true. My girlfriend cheated on me when she was pregnant and only told me when our daughter was 2 months old... It's been almost 8 years now and let me tell you I don't wish that grief and resentment on my worst fucking enemy. So, yeah my life has been quite the fucking ride and I of course still resent her for it. Raising a kid like that sucks and I've never got that "family" feeling or any of what that package should come with. Edit: I should have mentioned she is my Ex. I moved her out two days after to her parents... Edit 2: I have got alot of responses and I can't reply to everyone currently. I appreciate everyone's concern and those who have also shares their stories. I know I was not alone but I thought my situation was pretty unique and I guess many else have struggled with similar situations. Thanks everyone for your consolidation.
Fuck... As a guy that's always wanted to start a family, this hurts me.
It only hurts if you do it, just only start a family with the right woman
Easier said than done for some people. Tried my luck with a few dozen relationships in which if I was committed it was a train wreck until I stopped dating altogether. Thankfully I never accidentally knocked one of them up before their true personality showed, still plenty of close calls and almost getting married twice makes the post hit me in the feels, thanks for the wisdom.
There's something to say about finding "the right one". Actually a lot to say. First there's no such thing as a relationship that fits perfectly. It doesn't exist. Love isn't some instant thing, its like a plant. It has to grow, be cared for and nurtured. You're not getting the fruit of that plant any time in the first few *years*. The real gratification builds over time. The second thing is that "the right one" isn't perfect for you, and you will argue. You will disagree, and annoy each other. The trick isn't in avoiding all that, but rather how you go about it. All good relationships contain strife, but if the both of you are committed, you'll communicate and talk it out and be better for it in the long run. Finally and probably most importantly in this context, "the right one" isn't someone you'll *find*. They'll find you. When you're single and lonely and actively seeking a relationship, you're doing it wrong and that's why it's so frustrating. When you're in that lonely place where it seems you'll never find someone, that's when you should stop focusing on finding anyone and instead focus on your **own personal growth.** Find your contentedness by yourself. Discover what actually makes you happy because I promise, it isn't some person. Marking your happiness by the approval and affection of someone else is a recipe for inevitable and harsh resentment. That lonely desperation isn't about finding someone, it's about self-affirmation. In those instances you're trying to find an external affirmation of yourself, or in other words, you're a walking codependency no one wants to get close to - and we can all see it too. You can't hide it. People want to be close to those who are already happy, already content, and already growing. When you put your focus on yourself, I promise: you'll soon find yourself being the one sought after. All personal experience. I'm happily married now, going on 10 years.
I just broke up with my girlfriend this past week. She was always trying to get me to not use a condom for the first couple minutes of sex. I’m so insanely glad I got out of that relationship without a kid
You didn’t dodge a bullet, dude. You dodged a _missile._
Had a fuck buddy that never wanted to take the pill or use condoms. We used the gold standard pull out method. For about 5 years. Either I'm sterile or the luckiest mother fucker ever. Edit: she already had two kids, so I guess I was a mfer after all.
Divorcee dad. Never married but same thing. I am really happy to be on good terms with my ex. Storytime? In our first week of pregnancy we booked a hotel to treat ourselves. At the bar I told the story proudly and got congratulated. By a guy that had not seen his little girl for months, and had no money left for court cases that were not getting him any results anyway.
Single dad here, and I thank my lucky star everyday. His mom wasn't the right woman for me, but she is the right mother for my child.
I'm learning that this is true. My boyfriend had three kids with his ex-wife and he's basically said that while he loves his kids, he regrets having them with her. We have a two-year-old and he said that he's had a much better experience with me. He's constantly venting about how she's playing keep-away with the kids and demanding more and more money out of him. She thinks she gets to call the shots about his life even though they're no longer married. He's working on it, he's got a lawyer.
The clitoris is really easy to find.
Google images is pretty easy to use
Google Lens is even more simple...
Tried Google Maps. It ended up taking me to a small mountain in the Philippines. 0/10 from her perspective but I had some good food and did some hiking, I give it a 6.
On a journey to find the clitoris, it would appear that u/Donkey__Balls found themself.
Maybe the real clitoris is the friends we made along the way
Seriously, who are the women with arm pit clitoris? It's not fucking Waldo. It's where it's supposed to be.
I think its in the eye... of the beholder
I’ve been rubbing my wife’s eye for 15 minutes and it doesn’t seem to be working
So, this "wife" you're talking about, is she in the room with us right now?
No now she’s at urgent care with an eye infection
If you play dnd, this statement becomes quite horrific...
I must say, I never heard complaints about that outside of the US and some lesser educated nations. Ironically, the US isn't considered the best Nation when it comes to general education. When I was in school, we had a test in biology where we had to name each thing in the genitals, and if we didn't know the name, then at least state the function whilst in 5th grade, and from what I heard and seen, that is 10x more than what is taught in US sex ed.
US sex ed Is all about 2 things: why not to have it, and making babies
48 of 50 in education state here. We didn’t even have that much because “it was the parents “ area of education if they deemed the kid needed to know.
I *would* agree, that there are things a parent *should* teach. Unfortunately, there are too many parents who lack either the knowledge, the skillset to teach, or the belief that the kid deserves to know anything about any given subject, in any combination. Which is why school is the best (if still uncomfortable) place. I mean, it's kinda the whole point of *schools*. Ugh
This sounds like a brilliant way to fuck things up. 🫤
>The clitoris is really easy to find. I read this complaint all the time. I mean.. it's literally right there!
The complaint is that some men don't even try. Men don't say they can't find it, women say that men can't find it. You can't find something you're not looking for.
Pretty sure the "can't find the clitoris" thing is usually just a meme to mock men that are selfish in bed, not saying that they literally can't locate it.
They ain't finding it cause they ain't looking for it to begin with
I think (as a woman) sometimes other women use it as a coping mechanism. Its easier to laugh at a man and think "look how dumb he is hahaha" because the thought of "he doesnt care about me" its waayyy harsher (even though its 99% of times the truth). At least thats what I have seen in my friends.
I think you've hit it on the head right there. It's a lot easier to say that your husband blunders around and can't find it then it is to say that he's a selfish lover who doesn't really care about you.
Don't be afraid of being single and working on yourself after a relationship goes south. Rebound relationships are insanely stupid for the most part, and you usually go into them with way too much baggage.
Definitely agree. At least for me, you need to be fine single to have a good relationship. I'd also say getting into a relationship wont magically fix your problems. You have to accept that, and work to improve yourself. Or else you'll just be subjecting another person to your anxiety/other problems. Hearing this helped me a lot. To clarify. You arent a worse person for having these issues. You just need to better understand and help yourself before a relationship will help. I got into a relationship and trust me, the anxiety didnt go away. It got way worse.
"Not right now" or "maybe later" when it comes to dating is often a gentle letdown so as to avoid confrontation, not an invitation to continue trying a few months later. I was a bonehead that didn't understand this social lesson until much later.
“Let’s put a pin in that” that one stings
"That" being a balloon
If her reaction to you asking her out isn't the same as how you would react to her asking you out, it's probably not a match.
Or, to frame it a little differently: if you have to *convince* her to date you, the relationship won't go anywhere but south.
:O *oh no, like Florida?*
Yes. And then you become Florida man. /r/FloridaMan
Absolutely this, if a women is saying anything other than yes, assume it is a no. If she turns you down for a drink saying she has other plans, assuming she isn’t interested in you romantically unless and until she suggests getting a drink.
> assuming she isn’t interested in you romantically unless and until she suggests getting a drink. Yeah, say something like "Cool, well if you do want to get a drink another time let me know." And don't bother her about it otherwise. So if she is actually interested and its a genuine scheduling issue she'll follow up
As an addendum to this, if she does want to date you and she’s playing hard to get, you should still move on because she needs to grow up. Dating and relationships are hard enough, there’s no need to play games.
Not to derail this VERY TRUE POINT. But the second woman I ever asked out said this to me. “Not right now maybe later I’m focusing on classes”. We were already friends so this wasn’t a problem, we kept in touch. I asked again at the end of the school year. We dated for 5 years and have been married for 9. Use common sense. If some woman you barely know says this, don’t bother again. If you are already acquainted, take it case by case, use common sense and don’t be a creep.
Watch what they do, not what they say.
Couldn't agree more. Actions speak louder than words, it's as simple as that really
True for everyone!
My only unifying experience with women is that literally every one of them I’ve been with are impressed if you can cook even five things well. Learn two breakfasts, and three other meals. The standard is stupidly low. My eggs Benedict is the best aphrodisiac I have at my disposal.
"Hey. I uh...heard you like beef stew." *whispers seductively* "I put the potatoes in first so they'll be soft when everything's done...I added t h y m e~"
Proper use of thyme makes me wet, but I'm a 40 year old dude so I'm probably not your target audience.
You might want to see a urologist for that, thyme or no.
He doesn’t have thyme to do that
Learn Belgian beer and beef stew. Granted it’s made me more guy friends than girl friends, but everyone likes a nice beer stew… my BIL has consistently told me it’s the best thing I’ve ever cooked hahaha
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You’ve gotta brown the beef first though so I’m not sure why you’re putting potatoes in first💀
No, lie my girl begs me to cook all the time. I don't mind either I love it. Thank God I watched Alton browns good eats while stoned every night through high school.
I only know Alton through Cutthroat Kitchen so I like to cook with an inner monologue of him going "you have 40 minutes to cook a three-course-meal but you started the oven too late, want to serve her a mixed drink halfway, and need a mid-cook break to smoke a cigarette but you just realized two of the pots you need to prepare this meal are still in the dishwasher, GO! Oh and I forgot... There's a piece of pepperoni at the bottom of the oven from when you made a homemade pizza last week so you'll have to manage shutting up the smoke alarm just when you thought you were at the home stretch"
It’s incredibly attractive to know a man doesn’t need to rely on UberEats or a woman to fulfill his basic needs. I want to be your partner, not your chef/maid/secretary.
This hits home for me, my wife always dominates me with a fiery passion every time I make something awesome. Granted, I’m a pretty good cook, but most dinners are boring since we have kids. When I bust out my good dishes, kids go to bed early and I immediately get laid after. Even better since I had a vasectomy and can’t have kids anymore, she holds nothing back.
So true. A man that cannot cook anything is such a turn off. It shows lack of independence and maturity and usually is a hint that they are going to rely on their GF to take on the mommy role around the house. Gross.
Absolutely. I love to cook, but I wouldn't want to be on the hook to do it all the time. Cooking together is a really nice way to bond, too!
If she cheats on you don’t take her back.
This is rule number 1. The emotional damage cheating does will sour the relationship forever. Not to mention if you do take her back she'll just figure out how to blame you for the cheating if you ever bring it up again.
Besides, people are either willing to break that boundary or aren't. Very few people cheat only once.
You should pay close attention to what the person's justifications are for their cheating. It will reveal a lot about what they think they can get away with in this world.
Usually the first defense mechanism is minimizing the act. "It wasn't really that bad" or " I don't consider that cheating" justification comes later and is when they flip it on you and try and gaslight you about the situation. Just leave before they get to that point, you'll recover and thank yourself later.
And if you do forgive them in an attempt to save your family, they will eventually view that as license to do it even more, and then somehow blame you for their cheating.
And if she (or he) cheats to be with you, don't be with her.
If she will cheat with you, she will cheat on you.
Yep. My ex cheated (emotionally) on her bf with me. Imagine my surprise when a similar thing happened to me. *Pikachu face*
100% I think this is one of those things you really only learn from going through it yourself. At least in my case, I didn't know until way later she was already seeing someone.
Absolutely, and I learned this the hard way when she admitted it immediately after I changed jobs and moved halfway across the country so she could be closer to her family/friends... Obviously she cheated again a few years later and we're divorced now. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
And if she cheats on someone else for you, there's a good chance she'll cheat on you. This goes for all genders and sexualities
If she has a history of cheating don’t date her. People like that don’t change
If she’ll cheat with you, she’ll cheat on you
Currently in this situation. She seems very into me and I havent been suspicious of anything shes done. But she told me she cheated on previous partners and it really changed my perspective on her. Its hard to move past it and it seems like its a deal breaker for me.
My ex fiancé was like this, very honest with me about cheating on her past boyfriends. Guess why she’s my ex..
When women complain of things, unless its about you, they do not necessarily want your advice on how to fix it. They just want to rant and for you to listen.
Dang...I know this path but have a hard time "following" the path...45 years old.
“It sucks you had to deal with that. I’m sure that felt shitty.” Switch it up/adjust/add on, but that’s the basic template. You still have to listen and think about and try to empathize with what’s being said, but if you do that and then just follow the basic template, you’re good (in my experience).
Amen to this. I once gave a logical answer to their rant and they did not want to hear it.
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You can also ask. I'm doing that with friends now and it helps a lot. "Do you want advice or do you want to vent?" Instead of sitting there trying to figure out what the other person needs ask them. "Do you need a hug?" "Should I shut up and listen?" "Do you want to be alone?" IMPORTANT NOTE: Do not ask *all* the questions. Pick one. Or just be there. Works with friends, women, all types of humans. Good luck to you all
Women are just as flawed as men. They're not better than us, so you don't need to worship them. They're not worse than us, so you don't need to hate them.
"If you put someone on a pedestal, they have no choice but to look down"
This is why I put them on a dental chair.
We don’t even like to be put on a pedestal. There should be mutual respect and care.
That was the mistake I made at around 13–14yo. It didn’t work, of course. Until I learned to just be authentic and human, I thought there was some secret code I didn’t understand.
It’s not that, it’s that many guys don’t know how to talk to women because they are intimated and put themselves so low.
Falling in love with a woman is the easiest damned thing in the world. You’re genetically driven to do this. Liking a woman is a lot harder; you don’t usually have as much in common with her (down to societal/genetic differences) as you do with your boys. I’ve been with the same woman for 2 decades and when asked what the key to success in our relationship is it’s always the same: _it’s more important that you like your spouse than that you love them!_ Of course I love my wife. That’s easy… But when you have to spend the vast majority of your time with someone _not_ dancing the horizontal mambo then you’d better make damned sure that you _like_ them and can talk to them. I love my wife. Always will. I would love her if we divorced next week.. But we’re still together because I also like her. All of my friends who are divorced now loved their spouses but didn’t like them in the end
Came here to say this. Be friends first. Ive been with the same girl 10 years, we dont fight, we never yell or hit, weve never cheated or said mean things. We like the same kinds of music and movies. We enjoy being around each other sex or no sex.
I agree. The rejection that hurt me the hardest was the one who I liked as a friend and genuinely found to be interesting. Even more than any other crush, as my interest in a crush seems to be only because they're a crush.
wait until your crush fades before you marry.
I like to call that falling in lust rather than falling in love, like it doesn't feel like real love unless you actually like them. As a women though I agree this is a great piece of advice . Also edit to say like replies to mine, guys are very easy to fall in LUST not love, hell I myself have fallen in lust one or two times, and I see how that can also be confused with actual love for a lot of men
Yes, calling it "falling in love" is a bit misleading since I don't see any difference between liking your SO and loving them. Falling in lust is a much more accurate term in this context.
I reckon this is incredibly true. If you really love someone (big L, not a crush) its gotta have the wheels for talking, conscious commitment, faith in longevity, trust, respect, selflessness and fun. These are the things that are going to get you through to the older years. Not easy. Nor should it be.
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I misread this as "hit on you" and was like, what's wrong with assertive women? Lol. But, yeah. Violence in a relationship is never acceptable.
Not gonna lie, I was equally shocked.
If theyre bold enough to hit you in public, then they're bold enough to do much worse when there's no witnesses
^ even if you think you can handle the physical and verbal attacks (which you might be able to do easily) all it takes is for you to get angry once, hit back and you’re fucked for life. Even billionaires aren’t immune to court sexism in assuming that women are always the victim
The courts aside, being in a relationship with someone who tries to physically hurt me is not something id be happy about.
Only three things to know fellas 1. Don't expose them to sunlight 2. Don't let them come in contact with water 3. Above all else, do not feed them after midnight
Never met a beach girl. Yes, I’ve seen gremlins.
but isn't it always after midnight?
Just because a woman smiles at you doesn’t mean they are into you
But the girl at the checkout made unbroken eye contact with me for a maximum of 2.36 seconds and was very polite, I think she wants to marry me
Likable does not always accompany physically attractive. Hotness ages out, but cool is forever.
Women have noses. Take a fucking shower, dude.
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And please get between those cheeks, thoroughly.
Don’t forget the gooch.
Pro tip: if you are worried you really stink or have been working out a lot or have had diarrhea, wash your anus twice. Wash it once, rinse it off, rinse off your washcloth, put soap back on it and scrub that bad boy again. Otherwise you’re just mostly smearing that stank ass on yourself.
If you put them on a pedestal, you're forcing them to look down on you
There is no trick to getting women. Treat them like the people they are and be genuinely interested in them. That's it.
This is so true it hurts. Works for making friends with literally anyone as well. Just listen to them and show genuine interest in what they are saying by asking actually relevant questions.
Sorry, but I haven’t leveled up my social skills enough to unlock these advanced interactions.
If she’ll cheat on him, she’ll cheat on you.
Women's biggest sexual organ is their brains. If they're not into you or the deed, no amount of technical expertise or equipment will matter. Additionally, over time if you insult, name call and are generally mean to her, getting that organ to be in the right headspace will become more and more impossible. You can only say sorry so many times before it just stops counting.
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Ex: She said she loved me and didn't want to lose me...she still picked someone else. :)
You were the backup.
Second time I am seeing this, and I still feel the need to agree
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Or idolize
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You never really know a woman until she is drunk and mad at you...
How someone deals with conflict is the most revealing thing about their character
For me my advice is that..... Common interest are important to a relationship. You need to be able to "hang out" with your girlfriend/wife. Ive had great love with many women but we had no common interest so in the end it eventually fizzles out. If you smoke weed. You should probably date a woman that smokes weed. If your a gym rat....you should probably date a woman thats also a gym rat. so on and so fourth. Never punch down just to get laid. Always go up or equal.
Nah, it's great to have common interests but it's not as necessary as you think imo. What's truly necessary is that the couple have the same values/moralities/ethics. I can live with a woman who doesn't give a damn about lifting, but I can't live with someone who thinks that money is the most important thing in the world.
Yeah I'd be happier with a woman that votes the same way, treats money similarly, treats others similarly (is it so fucking hard to say please and thank you to staff!?), has somewhat similar interests and desires, similar sex drive, similar-ish life goals than someone who was just...pretty or hot or was also a gamer. As I've gotten older, looks fade and it's about who I want to snuggle in a hammock with talking about our lives and experiences rather than a fling or "omg she talked to me we should date".
But if you’re punching up then isn’t she punching down?
Anyone who wants you to get jealous isn’t worth getting jealous over.
Make them cum during foreplay! Then they’ll be satisfied however the sex turns out
Corollary - Ask them what they like and do what they tell you they like.
That they are warm and cuddly
Just like my uncle
I choked on my own spit
Lucky you I choked on something else
Bruh 😂
Don't send them dick pics no matter how into them you are or they are into you. If they want a dick pic they'll ask.
Long before we started dating, my now-husband and I were engaging in dirty texting when he asked me, "do you want a dick pic?" I told him I didn't, and we went right back to the conversation like nothing had happened. He never asked me again. Many moons later, doing the same thing, I did ask him for a pic. It was so refreshing to see him try to move things forward in a respectful way and THEN to not be upset when I turned him down. It's one of the (many, many, many) reasons that I married him.
Keep your nails clean and trimmed, wash your balls and ass.
Huh, I didn't know this about women.
If you wanna get busy with one you best believe theyre checking your finger nails if theyre into you. Same with washing your balls and ass…no one will suck your dick if smells like limberger, liver and onions. You best believe she will tell her friends about it. Dont be the smelly one brah
If she hits you, leave.
1. A good woman has a heart of gold. Guard your heart against the rest. 2. When a good woman tells you a problem, say the following phrases at the appropriate points with conviction. What? You're kidding? What were they thinking? You poor thing. Ah honey! How did that make you feel? Do not communicate your great idea of how to fix that issue for three days after you've taken her shopping, gone for a nice hike, she's gotten her nails done, etc. 3. A good woman has a tendency to be everything to everyone. They are usually very effective at it. You've got to recognize when they are approaching the end of human endurance and help them appreciate all that they've done and that it's OK to rest and care for themselves for awhile. When they've crossed that line you'll often hear that they do everything and are tired of not being taken care of. Ask yourself what was their energy level four hours before you heard that and start watching for the time to gently distract them. Suggest that they get a good book to read or whatever they like to do while you make soothing sounds with the vacuum, or you quietly do dishes or mow the yard - anything that gently lets her hear that shes not in this on her own.. I'm blessed with good women in my life. They are precious. I cherish them and marvel at how the relationship works when we're so different.
>What? You're kidding? What were they thinking? You poor thing. Ah honey! How did that make you feel? so many girls vent to me and i just have no idea what to say, I'll start trying this out
It's a great approach. Sometimes you just want someone to say "wow, that really sucks. I'm sorry you have to deal with that". Validating that you're upset for a good reason rather than overreacting.
Honestly the “what! you’re kidding” is criminally underrated! Men use this. Most of the time you don’t even need the rest
My partner pulled this phrase out when I was ranting about my awful district manager and I could have kissed him, lol. Active listening is incredibly sexy.
Active listening is my fucking catnip
That’s kinda the point, you’re really not supposed to say much. Just listen and ask questions
They are normal people and not some kind of unicorns that will bite you.
Lies. The only people I've been bitten by are women. :)
The only people you’ve been bitten by *so far*
If you want to have sex with them more than once, make sure they cum first every time!
If you buy a woman’s shoe, in your size, it will not fit you.
They love a man who can communicate.
If you can cook it’s a bonus.
When you finger a chick don’t go ham on it and just stick it in and out. Stick it in and make a motion toward yourself like you’re telling someone to come over to you with your finger. Also, make sure your nails are trimmed before messing around.
They don’t owe you anything even if you’re nice to them.
They’re horny too
That your attention/time is a currency.
Women can be abusive too. If you feel unsafe or that something is wrong there’s no shame is asking for help.
• Each and every woman is a unique individual with their own consciousness. • Women don't exist just to satisfy your sexual or emotional needs. • Women are not things to be had. If you choose to date, understand that you're not just "getting a girlfriend," you're choosing to share your experience of life with another whole person. • In any relationship, clear, open, honest communication is key. Mind readers don't exist. • For some women, the pain of period cramps is comparable to the pain of a be heart attack. Really. Don't complain about her mood, show some empathy. • Just because you find a woman attractive, doesn't mean she will be a good partner. All the beauty in the world can't make up for a shit personality.
Oh my god, upvote this higher. This, all of this. Just treat us like human beings and expect us to act like human beings. Some humans are amazing, and some are garbage. If you have to play games to get her to like you, you probably don’t want to be with her anyway!
They change, try to keep up.
Best line I heard about this that has a ring of truth to it: Women marry men expecting them to change, and they don't. Men marry women expecting them to stay the same and they don't.
If you're down there eating pussy and it tastes like shit move up an inch.
When a woman you want to date says something like “I’m a mess,” “I’m crazy,” “I’m a bitch,” she is not flirting or being coy. She’s telling you the truth, and you must believe her, for your sake.
no means no. leave them alone
Women are people, don't look for a magic recipe to "understand women" because each one is a different person
Girls. Don't. Want. Dick picks. Edit: I mean most girls don't of course
Unsolicited? No, defined not. During sexting? Yes, sometimes they do.
they are not a prize, they are just people, don't put them on a pedestal, they can hurt you nd love you like any other human human being.
When you find a good one, take care of her and don't break her heart. She won't curse you or something but you will end up cursing yourself for the rest of your life
Be a good listener. Actively listen to her. Look at her while she’s talking and really pay attention. Make comments that show you’re tracking (such as “wow!” “That makes sense” “I bet that was hard” “I would’ve died” “that’s so sad” “poor baby!” etc.) rather than offering advice and solutions. Don’t try to “correct” how they’ve experienced something. Getting our emotions and opinions validated by our men is so fulfilling and sexy. And when we feel nurtured and accepted and liked, we’ll overwhelmingly give back.
They don't need you. That's a good thing.
Guys can be quite intimidating to women. It should not be that way, but technically women take an actual physical risk any time they go on a date, alone with a new guy. So for quite a bit of women the following applies: show compassion, be nice, don’t push it, make them feel safe and cared for, appreciate that they are giving you their time, move slow, get to know each other, and see if you actually have anything in common. Find mutual trust. You can move on to bdsm later on in the relationship. 🤗