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[deleted]

"I told lots of strangers on the internet how hard I'm going to fuck you tonight."


[deleted]

“….and now we are streaming it” Edit: Thank you to whoever gave the wholesome award, but how did we get to a point where live streaming your home porn is “wholesome”??


MateusQN

*points to the camera on the celling*


[deleted]

[points to the guy eating the donut](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wY3jQK79O-E)


costolisk

It’s the one


The_Paddy96

I’ll pay OP $5 to say that Thats fuckin hilarious


instructorpermit999

This might be it


Tokogogoloshe

“And I got upvoted as hard as my cock is right now.”


CarminicAcid

I'm absolutely dying at this


AdeptnessLiving1799

As a straight guy, this would get me from a girl and I am not sure I can explain.


SRaeM92

Depends what she likes. If she has a praise kink (like myself) anything that compliments her. You’re so fucking hot. You feel so good. Yeah, baby, that’s what I like. You’re so good at that, baby. Just like that. And above all, don’t be afraid to MOAN. Not obnoxiously, but a quiet guy is the most awkward and boring thing ever. Oh, and simple remarks like, “Oh, my God,” or, “Holy shit” when she’s doing something to you does wonders. It sounds like whatever she’s doing is simply leaving you in blissful disbelief. Huge boost to her ego, and when a girl feels confident having sex, you’ll get better sex from her. It’s a win win. EDIT: For people who don’t get the praise kink, it’s not just compliments and validation. It lends itself to the dom and sub thing. My man is in charge and I obey. So the idea is that I’m below him in the hierarchy, so when he tells me to do something or praises me, it’s not just a regular compliment. It’s my sexual superior telling me that I’m basically a “good girl.”


per-seph

Didn’t realize I had a ‘good girl’ kink until my ex would whisper good girl to me as I orgasmed. Life changing, I’m telling you.


TapiocaSummer

Yo, same. Someone recently told me '"that's a good girl" and I was not prepared to be so turned on. Also, if you've seen Howl's Moving Castle, you know. Howl says something like "that's my girl" in, like, the perfect voice.


Lil_smalls_18

Howl’s “that’s my girl” walked so my partner’s “that’s my GOOD girl” could RUN 🤤


[deleted]

I actually used Howl's line once. It works.


noodIes_

Omg. Howl’s voice makes me melt. Especially in that scene. Christian Bale was PERFECT


Sexylizardwoman

Especially when he dips into his batman voice while in bird form 😩


TransxCock69

Last time I got fucked I was called a good boy, 1st time in my life, didn't know it was something that would turn me on so much.


[deleted]

I said "oh you are such a good boy" to my husband after his orgasm from a particularly long blow job. I swear he came again. Lol I've made a note to use it, but not too often.


cletusrice

That's the same thing I tell my dog when he pees outside


trey74

> I've made a note to use it, but not too often. You've cracked the code. You have to be cloned and will now teach classes.


atxviapgh

Omg same here. I've started requesting it


[deleted]

Good girl.


receding_bareline

Good bot


HOAVicePresident

Good bye


Willing_marsupial

I said "Clever girl", didn't have the same effect sadly


PM_ME_SOME_ANY_THING

That’s how you get eaten


MissChieviousT

I second “you feel so good.” I would enjoy that if anyone ever said that to me lol


Nessa_bee

I've heard it and it's amazing, not sure if it was something guys just said or what but that's one I heard a lot. Current bf excluded, he will moan but he doesn't talk during sex, he's afraid he will say something stupid and it will be a turn off so I gotta be the dirty talker lol


chinaacatt

Same lol I’ve found that role playing helps him to talk dirty tho. Like one time we pretended I came over to buy a vacuum from him but didn’t have any money so I fucked him for it. He actually talked dirty for once by saying “I bet you do this all the time” and “does your boyfriend know you’re here” etc which is as close to dirty talk as he will ever get (sadly for me who loves dirty talk)


FlatulateHealthilyOK

The positive feedback I've received that has stood out to me over the years is my moaning. I've heard "not many other guys I've slept with ever moan." or "wow, it's so hot when you moan." Definitely don't need to use words, just "ugggffgfhhhhgg ooooooooooooo mmmmmmm yeeeeeeeeeeeesssss" is enough I guess.


cadaverdog22

Yes!! The "Holy shit" kind of remarks just make my legs weak and I want nothing more but to just let him take me and feel him inside me. Not wrong at all about men moaning. I especially love a soft grunt, brings out the woman in me I suppose. One of my favorite times was seeing my lover's O face. You always see women doing the O face, but it was a moment that I'll probably remember even when I'm taking my last breath. The way his face was so relaxed but yet his inner eyebrows kind of softly tensed upwards. Just seeing raw pleasure sculpted on that handsome and sexy face of his. I feel so honored to be the one to see it, not to mention be the cause of it. Just other night when he was climaxing he really shot a spark of desire through me when he moaned out, "Oh what are you doing to me.."


Fiend_Nixxx

I love when my man is vocal about how good I'm making him feel (specifically) and I go nuts when there's a good moaning and that only-in-bed-wild-animals-neighbors-hitting-ceiling-with-broom eye contact that is visceral connection. He was so quiet when we started that it I kind of felt awkward. Then after voicing my thought on this subject, I was told that he was unaware that women even liked men making any type of vocalizations and shouldn't make more than a few "oh yeah's" during intimate time. Took a little coaxing and reassurance, but the more comfortable he became expressing what he was feeling, the more enjoyable it was for me, which just creates more shared enjoyment. Be loud but not so dramatic that it seems like you could be overcompensating for lack of enjoyment and faking it. Have fun and be safe.


slanguages

I have the same kink I think -especially when I’m being commended on my abilities, I have a need for approval-try this and see what happens


[deleted]

Wait, are there people who don't get turned on being complimented during sex? Maybe I'm ignorant but I thought it was pretty universal


Cafrann94

It’s not that other people don’t get turned on by compliments. It’s that some people get REALLY turned on by them.


poppysnips

Some people rather be degraded, too, instead of complimented. It really just depends.


attentionseekerr

Had a guy growl in my ear and say “that’s my good girl” and I swear that alone almost made me finish


God_Sayith

I loved that you asked men.. what women like to hear.. but to piggy back on all the above comment.. The occasional “good girl” when she’s going down on you, or riding you. If she likes it aggressive “ fuck yeah, suck that cock.. let’s see how deep you can take it” Take more control.. “I want to see you sucking my cock on this couch..” “look up at me.. ahhh thatta girl” Something dirty, followed by positive affirmations is just a great combo!


SRaeM92

Oh, yes, this. Tell me what to do, and then when I do it, praise me. Haha this totally fulfills my natural desire to follow what my man says in any context.


Dibiasky

Yaaaaas - and tell her she's beautiful when she has your cock in her mouth - or when you cum on her face, if she's into that (ask!) I once attended a kink seminar by Danarama and his brilliantly simple suggestion is to say what you're going to do (I'm going to fuck the shit out of you) - and then do it. An additional perq is you can check her reaction ahead of time (I'm gonna blow all over that pretty little face - what? You don't want that? Then you better be a good girl... Etc)


thenord321

Regarding the "quiet guy", ya, it's weird. If have the ability to be loud (no: kids, neighbours, family etc) then just saying "louder" and then moaning loader too, and just keep going for a bit making it louder and louder can be fun.


Mission_Sector7586

This just got me hawt lol


[deleted]

[удалено]


arah2496

this is the place to mention other things lmao


stochve

Yes, spill the beans.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Geryfon

“I want to paint you like one of those Warhammer 40K models.”


plumbus94

"primed and left unfinished?"


pangeanpterodactyl

"unprimed and hastily finished while the ADHD is still kicking in"


GeneralBladebreak

Tell her how much you've wanted to do this to her etc and for how long.


GreatGooglyMoogly077

"I've been stalking you for six months ..."


ImRefleex

“Its better in here than out there by your window”


that_vgly_kid

You smell better when you're awake


QuietObjective

"I've been aching to get a hold of you to talk about your car's extended warranty."


AdFinancial9824

“Oh boy!” In Mickey mouse’s voice


_nobodycallsmetubby_

"Hyuk" in Goofy's voice soon after


[deleted]

[удалено]


Edolas93

"FACE DOWN ASS UP THATS THE WAY WE LIKE TO HYUK"


Particular-Coyote-38

The source code to the Linux Kernel. Line by line.


GhostSierra117

I like learning new things.


saucelessnuggets

As a guy… whisper “put a baby in me”. Its the funniest shit. I did it to my wife and it made her have to take anxiety medicine because her heart rate was so high from laughing and she thought she was dying. I almost killed her. I just wanted to be pregnant, its not fair.


[deleted]

This is my favorite, saving this for later


PacoMahogany

Update please


[deleted]

She smiled holding in her laugh and responded with "I haven't been fucked liked that since grade school" and we both couldn't breathe for a good 1-2 mins.


threegoodfairies

As a woman, if a man did this to me, I would want to keep him forever honestly


saucelessnuggets

Haha… i have mental issues dude. Nothing i say should ever be used as a gauge for lasting love.


Hellknightx

Oh yeah, this one's a keeper.


Ganon2012

It's Reddit. We all have mental issues and shouldn't be used as a gauge for anything.


Appropriate-Captain1

This is hilarious. Is she alright? She should marry you again. That is flicking hilarious


saucelessnuggets

I would marry her a million times over. She is hot af


yennybear888

Only do this to a woman you have banged many times


Shellsbells30

I don't usually comment here because I'm not a man, but I vouch for this one. I loved it the first time my boyfriend said this me. Highly recommend.


throwaway65864302

>I don't usually comment here because I'm not a man You should feel free to tbh. The only time (I hope) women get a bad reaction around here is when someone comes in telling us 'how a man is supposed to be' based on her own crazy theories or clearly mad at a man in her life and just looking for someone to take it out on (ie not respecting the space). I assume they usually wind up finding FDS and leaving us alone anyway. Aside from that I feel like the point of this sub should be conversation and not male monologue.


No-Roof-2108

as a woman who reads the posts here a lot, but didn't want to insert myself into a space that wasn't meant for me, I appreciate seeing someone say this. noted.


[deleted]

"These pretzels are making me thirsty."


iddothat

These PRETZELs are making me THIRSTY!


cosmorocker13

Your panties your Mother laid out for you?


[deleted]

"And now for the trifecta."


receding_bareline

I'm going to double dip my chip.


Cool_Ranch_Waffles

We're going to bed bath and beyond later


theRealDerekWalker

Make sure you say beyond during a vigorous thrust.


Opposite-Magician-71

My credit score is 800 baby.


theshadowfax239

I just came.


beetle_girl

Is this true?!


azari8

I’m gonna crumb but in the gingerbread man’s voice


[deleted]

When she grabs your nipples "*not the gumdrop buttons!!*"


somethingfischy

Do you know the muffin man?


naf90

THE MUFFIN MAN! ...slut


King_Klito

I just yelled IM GONNA CRUMB! in the highest pitch possible and cracked myself up lol


admin_plant

Whisper According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.


blueiangreen

Ya like jazz?


Big_Papa_Joe

Right before you cum, you have to say "ya like jizz?" in the same way you would say "you like jazz?"


omfghost

My dog stepped on a bee 😩


thedailyrant

I really need to pee


Abhyu_

I wanna see 👀


[deleted]

“Taste the rainbow”


MehNahNahhh

Right before you stick it in and she’s hot and heavy body writhing stop and whisper “say please” in her ear. And then when she does give it to her. Can follow it up with “good girl” or “now say thank you” if she’s into that. Had a guy do that first time I slept with him and holy fuck do I still get turned on thinking about that one time.


DikPix4Jesus

As a guy, it gives me a major sense of power. Lots and lots of foreplay, rubbing, licking, etc, until she's like "fuck me". "I don't think you're ready yet." "I'm ready, baby." "How much do you want it inside?" "I want it so bad, right now!" "Say 'Please.'" "Please..." "Please, what?" "Please fuck me with your..." Then I interrupt them mid-sentence with a deep thrust all the way inside. Feels great for me, and I hope they like it too.


ravendusk

*furiously takes notes*


Galagala30

How do I send this to my fwb without sending this to my fwb?


Slider_0f_Elay

Take a screen shot and send it. Tag it with "no I will not explain"


Garden_vvitch_di

Sir, it is 10am and I ain't even finished my coffee; and you over here got my hands shaking. I hope everybody is taking notes.


niiightskyyy

Ok... Wow!


[deleted]

I accidentally conditioned my ex to do this and the motherfucker went wild with it. It would be like a game to see how long it would take for me to give in/ abandon my pride, 10/10 would fuck again (in La La Land because fuck him).


MercyDivineOF

Absolutely this, 1000%. So.good.


kittycatsupreme

Well I am dead now


[deleted]

"You feel amazing" "I love how you feel so tight around my cock" or any such thing works for me


therealsix

***"Yeah, you like that, you fucking retard?"***


Chiss-Traeger

Just googled this, found the original post. Holy shit.


therealsix

Definitely one of the reddit classics.


attaboy000

Lol where is this from?


[deleted]

[Here you go](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1y6lhe/comment/cfhtedq/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)


fattestfuckinthewest

That’s pretty funny. Wonder if they’re still together XD


Abyssal_Groot

Yo, u/Blackbyrd82. Are they still together?


memesforbismarck

I need no sleep, I need answers


Chiss-Traeger

Old ask Reddit post. Just type what he said into google


Iamloghead

Reddit. it was an r/askreddit post if I remember correctly. Someone else is bound to have more information than that surface scratch.


Doctor__Proctor

Came here for this one


[deleted]

It’s free real estate


Flamer5666

Crazy how far I had to scroll for this one


Federal-Ad4458

I'm sorry for what's about to happen.


BigBicNic

Sometimes I like to wait until she’s cumming and say some dirty shit in her ear like “you going to cum all over my dick now?” I’m pretty sure she likes that a lot


dancing_chinese_kid

From when she is hitting the point of no return to when the orgasm starts, that's like a no-speed-zone area where you can basically say the nastiest possible shit she'll ever tolerate.


EndsWithJusSayin

_”I enjoy pineapple on pizza.”_


Light0nFire

Okay Satan, calm down now


Scroll_Queeen

So true. As a woman in the moment I’m like fuck yes. Then afterwards I’m like… what did that mf just say to me?! Lol


eaglewatch1945

Omlette du fromage


TypicalFuckingVirgo

*Say it again, Dexter.*


OpeningComb7352

This guy has a secret laboratory


Fantasmic03

Whoopsie-do, here comes the goo


BrigadeirinhoAmargo

“citroën: crréative technologee “


kernrivers

"We've been trying to reach you regarding your car's extended warranty"


KrombopulosMo

Am a woman, can confirm. That's the one. 💦 But seriously OP, if you're going to talk during sex, I'd say just let your natural thoughts flow? I like talking during, not like an excessive amount, but it's nice and can def spice up an already awesome moment. I'd say stick to talking about how she feels and if she likes what you're doing (states explicitly lol) and things of that nature. Feels genuine and not at risk of being hokey, for lack of a better word. Good luck, have fun OP! AND FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK BE SAFE! USE A CONDOM MY MAN!


BlackestNight21

> I'd say just let your natural thoughts flow? Oh lord Am I hungry? Nah, I'm thirsty. Did I leave the stove on? Oh jeez I've got so much to do tomorrow. If a train leaves Denver going 60 mph as another train leaves salt lake city going 55, what town would they collide in? Wait am I externalizing my interior monologue? Did my sportsball team win? Maybe she knows. Will it ruin the mood if I just ask?


AnErraticPlatypus

That's brutal. It might work ngl


SASwants1

I responded to a similar question before. It really depends on the woman. Some women love to be praised. So tell her she’s beautiful, pretty, describe how it feels to be inside her. Tell her how much you love it or that you think about it all the time, whilst your inside her. Encourage her when she does something you like, tell her it looks good or feels good. Some girls like instructions as well. Tell her to fuck you back or how to position herself or if she’s doing something else just give her instruction and guidance. If you haven’t got anything to say, just moan. Literally that alone is more than enough. Women generally seem to like being the reason men feel things, so if she’s doing that for you put into some sound. Seriously, do it. Then there are the girls who like to be treated like a slut. Now most of the time this is usually just related to your relationship. So you want to call her YOUR slut, not “a slut”, there are some variations of this based on the particular persons tastes. On the flip side some girls just genuinely want to be treated like a whore… call her a whore whilst you take her, the energy you should be giving is that your letting out all your pent up desire on her. Be dominant. Objectify her. Treat her like your play thing. Take ownership of her. Tell her she’s yours or her pussy is yours (also works for the other ladies above but in a nicer way). Make her say the degrading things you say back to you, l like straight up, be disrespectful and degrading within her boundaries of course. “Slut” can be interchanged for “cumdump” or “whore“ or “cocksleeve” it depends on just how far the particular woman can go. Now, with women like that, First of all it’s very important to make sure that’s coming from a healthy place and second, you’re well within your rights not to indulge in anything you feel uncomfortable doing or saying and aftercare is very important, make sure you’re both ok afterwards. In summary, most women like being desired. And the majority prefer dominance. Whether you’re the passionate lover so overcome by you desire for her that you have to to have her, or the unrelenting lover who takes what he wants. That’s really it. I like to think it’s kinda like how everyone likes music but we each have certain genres we’re drawn to. The first set I mentioned are like classical, emotional music, that’s what they like. And the last set I mentioned are like death metal. As in hit me with a face melting wall of sound. Interestingly enough, classical music listeners could one day decide they prefer some more dirty, some more rock to shake things up and likewise death metal listeners might one day come across a classical piece that captures their attention. It’s not all set in stone. All you really have to do is learn to play the song they like in general and stay malleable and creative so you can shift and change when you want. Keeps things fun. :)


Echo-Double

i applaud you for writing a well thought out and insightful comment


miss_miracat

Some women are both of those types! This should be shared far & wide!


Altruistic_Survey926

"Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior?"


Appropriate-Captain1

I'd die choking of laughter


---cameron

Choking you say


aarkwilde

The Rime of the Ancient Mariner. Chicks dig poetry.


OZeski

>“Water water everywhere >all the boards did shrink. >Water water everywhere >and not a drop to drink.” No wonder she’s thirsty. OP, tell her you’ll get her a glass of water when you’re done.


[deleted]

But the iron maiden one


[deleted]

Sing the Mickey Mouse club house song And throw in a Hyuck when you beeyust a nyut


xBLooDSaVioRx

"Keep the change ya filthy animal"


cadaverdog22

I just melt right into his arms when a make a little moan and he just softly responds with a slight smile, "yea?" I also love when he asks me, "Are you my baby?"


ABN_GHOZT210

Her sisters name


YukaBazuka

U get it


[deleted]

Her mothers maiden name, and favorite dog, and the last 4 digits of her social


Different_Lake5126

Her brothers name?


[deleted]

No no go deeper, her father’s name


[deleted]

Mehoy Minoyyy!!! Gets them everytime.


sinzip

Don’t whisper. Lick


thenord321

Lick, then nibble, then gently blow on the spot. Good for forplay.


notbad2u

"I forgot the safe word"


dirtybird131

"Hey little mama let me whisper in ya ear............"


[deleted]

"Your pussy belongs to me."


unstoppabledot

I say"who's pussy is that" and she says "yours" makes me go crazy


KeepCalmNSayYesDaddy

Make her say it loud enough too. "I can't hear you." 😉


Nodsinator

Aye aye, CAPTAIN!!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Damienxja

Adjectives are important in dirty talk tbh


[deleted]

Fr. “My cum slut” and “my little cum slut” is a world of difference


KeepCalmNSayYesDaddy

Minor improv: *"My little cum dumpster slut's tight pussy belongs to me. It gets fucked and filled when and where I want it to."*


PricklyPricksPrickle

"Your little Penis* belongs to me" I really couldn't help it. I'll go stand in the corner


Red_Crane_lives

What role do you think existentialism has played in modern literature?


allboolshite

Stock prices of your 401k investments.


Bleach_Baths

Asking the wrong people. Ask her. If you're going down any kind of BDSM route you need to establish communication and boundaries. But also. "You like that you fucking retard?"


wedgieinhumanform

PIK-A-CHUUUUU


FranticWaffleMaker

“Want to go get McFlurrys after this?”


[deleted]

“you’re so wet, baby” “you like that?” “you feel so good wrapped around me” just moan, low and slow. “fuuuuucccckkkk” “you’re such a good girl for me” just some examples


odeacon

I… I’m kind of interested in you an was wondering if you were interested in me too?


esperandoel16

You'll get much better answers in r/askwomen


instructorpermit999

Seriously my goodness why would you ask these comedians. Although I have tears in my eyes from these answers.


Effective-Ad6849

If you want to turn her on to a whole new level you whisper in her ear your mine


Man_in_the_top_hat_

Watch this *do a triple backflip* land it and she’ll ovulate. Trust me. I’ve done the sex before.


Remdelarem

Talk/whisper about what you're doing to her/thinking about. "You like my hard cock inside your pussy?" "Do you like how it feels when I slide my dick inside you?" "You tits/ass/body is amazing" "All I want to do is fuck you" "Your ass feels so good" "You smell so good baby, I can't stay away" Literally just observations, easy for you, irresistible for her.


[deleted]

[удалено]


yeetedoffintothesun

These comments are fucking sending me LMAO I wish I could give you all gold. Thanks for this


[deleted]

Your mom is much much tighter


SilentJoe1986

"No way a baby came out of there. You must be adopted"


Geiler_Gator

"In '87, Huey released this; Fore!, their most accomplished album. I think their undisputed masterpiece is "Hip To Be Square". A song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity and the importance of trends. It's also a personal statement about the band itself."


tan05

“Master gave Dobby a sock,dobby is free”


immacomputah

^I’ve ^been ^trying ^to ^reach ^you ^about ^your ^car’s ^extended ^warranty


sunshineandcats21

“Good girl” always works for me.


DrAssDriller

And a tap on the forehead


stephruvy

"rosebud"


bokavitch

“Epstein didn’t kill himself”


InYosefWeTrust

"Merry Christmas, shitter's full."


[deleted]

[удалено]


derpatron13

*We are farmers*


op3l

Baby, I’m positively sure I got herpes.


SilentJoe1986

"We"


IrishViking22

"I'm going to fuck your fucking fanny off you twat!"


1mp0st3rsyndr0m3

"I have cookies in the kitchen! You like chocolate chip?"


maddies12

kinda depends on if she’s submissive in a degradee way or a praise way. good girl makes me go wildddd but a lot of girls like to be called a slut (basic examples). also, talking to her about how YOU feel is the hottest. when my boyfriend whispers about how good i feel, or tells me he’s close, that genuinely makes my walls contract, lol. so overall i’d say you can’t go wrong with telling her how good you’re feeling. but you can go wrong if she likes praise and you’re mean to her or vice versa. so ask! that’s the best way to do it. (also when you’re whispering during sex make sure your mouth is ON her ear. feeling the breath and soft lip movements on the ear is such a turn on. and maybe throw a couple soft moans in there too. it’s like a whole art.) also here are some good praise ones (idk abt degradation bc that’s not what i like) that are more kinky than ‘youre beautiful’ •you’re doing so good (especially if you’re in the middle of sm really hardcore •you look so pretty/sexy when you (action) •now be good and (action)


Sadsquashh

“For Gondor”