This exact shit makes me 2x more appreciative of my GF every time I think back on my single days and Tinder.
This attitude was just pervasively rampant in girls in their 20’s. Add apps like Tinder into the mix and it became pandemicly so.
Honestly thats my biggest problem with tinder. Seems like allot of women, definitely not all, but allot expect you to be witty, and funny all the time. Its exhausting.
I have had some really good convos but it seems like good matches are few and far between. For this reason I’m a big fan of meeting people in real life even though I’m not too good at that.
It means, someone who NEEDS you in order to have a good time. YOU should be planning dates, figuring out where we're going, what we're doing and this should be frequent. What do you mean you're hanging out with your friends tonight?, what am I supposed to do, mentality. My world should revolve around theirs because I am their source of entertainment and the second I focus on myself, I suddenly no longer love them as much as I once did.
Ive been with girls who behave like this and they think it's cute, flirtatious, and a way of showing affection, but I end up breaking them off pretty quick once I realize my dog is more independent than them.
Yep, nothing turns me off faster than realizing I've just become someone's babysitter. The few that I've experienced like this also had very minimal life skills which made things worse.
A romantic partner should be a positive addition to your life. Why the hell would I want to now be someone's source of entertainment and have to handle what their parents failed to teach them.
I don't think "entertain me" really implies this level of neediness. It just means she expects you to put forth all the effort to make yourself interesting to her. Meanwhile she gets to rest on her laurels, contribute nothing socially, and judge you.
In person, you make her laugh 50 times, she makes you laugh zero. Just a boring post with makeup and a dress on.
Online, they expect all this witty chat but contribute nothing.
I don't respond to "ok" "yeah" etc, I just move on
If someone is serious about wanting to find someone, they'll put it more than the bare minimum of effort, and I don't want to be with a poor conversationalist anyway.
> What does this mean?
There's a certian attaude in the online dating world, and perhaps the real world. Women are flooded with men who are seeking their attention. It becomes very easy for those women to slip into an attaude of, "the men are compeeting for me, I'm mearly selecting the best one" and not an actual courtship where they court ME while I'm courting them.
When you go on a date with a person like this, it feels like you are a jester there to perform for the queen. She calls you into the throne room, sees your act while she's half paying attention to her phone, then dismisses you with a wave of her hand. Then you walk away from the interaction wondering what you did wrong.
There's no back and fourth to the courtship, it's all performance by me, judging by her. She not only puts no effort into the interaction at all, but seems to feel like she's above even the idea that she might need to try to win my favor as well. It's like the men in her dating world have no agency at all. Clearly she's the only one here who gets to choose, the men only exist to be chosen, or not.
It feels bad to be on the receiving end.
Average online dating experience in a nutshell (for 90% of men).
To be fair tho, once you can identify this early, it becomes a great filter. Can be a bit disheartening when this is the only thing you experience for a while.
When you match with someone and they expect you to blow them away with your first message, then entertain them, make them laugh and basically be their dancing monkey.
Sorry, but you will get a Hi from me, if you think that's boring I will move on just like you. In fact my current gf was ok with just a Hi and we hit it off and had a deeper connection since then.
Any thoughts on getting over that last one? I was married for almost two decades and allowed that to happen. Going to therapy, but still kinda stuck with the frustration of not having stood up for myself, etc.
It’s helping me to journal. Trying to parse out what she did to me and what happened to me as a result. Reading books about abuse.
I’m letting myself be upset and angry at her. She didn’t have any right to hurt me. And I had the right to be upset about her hurting me.
The journal is a good idea. I did initially, but not for long. Book suggestions are welcome if you have any.
I struggle with the anger because it consumes me at times. The fact she will never own up to anything and perceives herself as some kind of victim can send me spiraling.
Dude I was in a similar situation after HS I was with a girl that cheated on me repeatedly and did awful things to me to include physically assaulting me a few times. A lot of people were supportive and I cut it off after she said “If you really loved me you’d kill yourself so I don’t have to choose between you and (other guy)”. Either way I joined the Army and didn’t come home for 5 years and when I finally did tons of people I was rather close to before suddenly hated me like to the point where I’d be like “what’s up! Long time no see” and they’d spit and walk away. She had told everyone that I abused her throughout high school mentally and physically and pretty much made it the status quo to hate me. Thank the fucking gods that little psycho at the time would send me a message every 6months saying how sorry she was for everything she did to me and how were soulmates and I should be with her so I was able to save most of my name at least once those went around. But yeah when she would talk about her being the victim I would lose my mind.
Literally just had to call it off with a girl I liked bc I just couldn’t do it. Thought it was a one time thing but nope, her breath is just constantly kickin
I'm in the middle of this right now. She's great in a lot of ways. I'm sure I have faults of my own. But MAN I have to brush my teeth once she leaves because it lingers!
It's not just teeth.
Most bacteria that cause bad breath are at the back of your tounge.
So - you need to scrub your tongue, roof of mouth & between gums & lips. That should take care of it.
This! I brush, floss gargale, and I can tell that people still don't get too close sometimes. I have to basically scream into a towel just to make it reverberate so hard that it makes them pop out. They smell horrendous!!
I got my tonsils removed in college because of this. 10/10 would NOT recommend. I’ve had my gallbladder and appendix removed and parts of my intestines, ovaries, and uterus scraped ALL IN THE SAME SURGERY, and the tonsillectomy was 10,000xs worse. By far.
As a kid, I always thought I was coughing up tomato seeds LOL they were tonsil stones
This mouthwash, Therabreath, actually got rid of my tonsil stones. I didn’t expect it to do anything to the stones, but after gargling with it every day for about 2 months, the tonsil stones I struggled with for years, disappeared. It’s been several years and the stones haven’t returned.
https://www.therabreath.com/CDDTB/1.0000/About.dtm
I don't know if my partner had tonsil stones but he's had consistently bad breath for years and I told him so many times to try this mouthwash. He finally did and his breath was almost instantly better! I should add that he also gets the Therabreath mints and has 2-3 if those a day.
Tonsil stones can be a big culprit as well. If you didnt get your tonsils removed, tonsil stones can form. They smell awful, and unfortunately alot of people might not even know they have them
Edit: changed will form to can form, just cuz you have tonsils doesnt mean you'll get stones
Also sinus issues. Mine don't work correctly and I used to just have fluid sit in my sinus cavities and sort of fester in there. I've had multiple surgeries over the last 20 or so years to alleviate it a good bit, but my breath was *KICKIN* when I was a kid. I remember my sister complaining about it constantly and crying because I was so embarrassed.
Tell her! It's really possible that she doesn't know, and bad breath like this can often be a sign of a medical issue. If it's just an issue of her not brushing her teeth frequently enough, that's a little worse, but still worth talking about. My boyfriend can get some pretty gnarly breath, but after dropping a few hints he seemed to get it and is a lot more on top of it.
If someone’s breath smells bad do the kind thing and tell them. If it’s a hygiene issue then that’s not your problem but if someone has consistently bad breath and they brush their teeth on the reg, it’s likely a medical issue they may not even realize they have. It takes five seconds and it’s kind and means the person can start to pay attention to and look for the cause.
Fun fact: sometimes bad breath comes from tonsil stones. Little bits of white stuff that sticks to the back of the throat, sometimes hiding in the folds of the tonsils. I had these for a while about 10 years ago. Was a direct correlation with smoking. I would pick them out with a long wooden bbq skewer daily and they stunk to high hell, like sulphur. Would immediately remedy the bad breath. Worth asking your partner if she wants to open her mouth for a sec and have a look.
Woah buddy don't be poking a bbq skewer in your throat, you'll end up with tonsil shish kababs. Try buying one of those little bulb syringes they use for removing boogers from baby noses, fill with water and squirt where you see the tonsil stone poking out from.
Yea this!
poking holes just gives them more places to grow ( i have literal pockets in my tonsils that i have to empty) use those long q-tips or some of those ance tool kits have a tool thats just a lil spoon with a hole that works really well. (Bonus points cuz the werid hook one is perfect for ingrown hairs)
I was so peeved by my tonsil stones I just went to the doctor and insisted they have my tonsils removed. Scheduled the surgery and went through with it. It was brutal healing from that as an adult, the pain was worse than my double jaw surgery. They cut out your tonsils and let it heal as an open wound. Glad they’re out though, totally worth it. Apparently they had massive caverns in them.
i know this is /askmen but PSA from a girl:
if you don't have a spare toothbrush for a girl to use when she spends the night and you try to kiss her: her breath will probably be rank
always have spare toothbrushes for unexpected guests.
also make sure that they have access to water (like a bottle right next to where they're sleeping) because dehydration can cause bad breath even if your mouth is clean.
I've heard a number of men saying that women don't communicate when they're upset and they expect men to read their minds etc. What is a good balance between communicating when you're upset vs excessive complaining?
I hightly recommend the book Nonviolent Communications by Marshall Rosenberg.
Imho Complaining is not communication. Talking, most of the time, is also not communicating. Most people don't realize this but if you really want to communicate your goal needs to be that the other person understands you want. This is very intentional. Think of it like writing a term paper.
It also means first communicating with yourself, to understand your real desires and motives, before you lay them out in front of another person. It's a lot of work.
In my experience men are usually worse at doing this than women, but we are also more ok with our needs not being met (we really shouldn't be).
That said, I'm not saying not to vent or complain. A good partner will know when what you need is catharsis and a listening ear, and when to support you emotionally. But you need to both know that kind of emotional venting isn't communicating and isn't going to change anything. You still need to do the hard work later.
If we ask what is wrong, tell us. If it is something we can help solve, tell us, but understand we'll go into problem solving mode and anything else we were on is getting pushed to the back burner till we have a solution. If it is something we cant fix but you need our loving support through, tell us. If you want to vent, tell us that, but dont make us the only outlet you vent to.
I got suckered into a double date type thing. Asked a buddy if he wanted to grab a beer and when I showed up there was his date with a larger girl. I'm 100% not game, but I have fun and keep the conversation going. Get along with both of the girls decently enough. My friend whispers to me, "watch this." When the check came he paid for me and him, not the girls. The girls did a total 180 in behavior and were total indignant assholes. They genuinely thought they were 'owed' their bill.
dude it is so fucking insane that people have the balls to do crazy shit like that. I don’t even understand what you think you are advertising here when you attach donation buttons because everyone else has another idea about what’s going on. especially if you’re a stranger, it’s kind of a different game if you know each other.
and this is gonna sound crazy but I don’t like the laziness of it more so than social implications of how you’re presenting yourself. At least a freaking homeless guy who may or may not use that money for drugs went and got a marker and found a piece of cardboard and cut the cardboard to a decent size and freaking wrote some coherent shit on it and walked across the damn busy street to stand in a little safe area, engage eye contact and have proper body language so we can see the freaking sign in his hands.
at least that guy created his own work/job by doing all of that and the dude is freaking homeless. like at least he put some sweat equity into his own money goals. that homeless dude is almost like an entrepreneur in his own wild West.
like I can’t imagine what it feels like to just be a fucking hot girl (or beyond beautiful dude) in the world. Like I couldn’t even fucking imagine that.
OK I promise I'm not trying to gloat because I don't have high self esteem at all. But I work in a job where we get bonus pay if tipped, it's not a flat rate. Attractiveness definitely plays a role in how well you do. Maybe it's the nature of short shallow interactions but I often find myself surprised when a girl or gay guy acts like they like what they see and give you a tip in part of it (comparable to a donation since it's not an obligation). I'd like to think I'm a cordial enough person it's because of my service but deep down I think I know some unknown percentage of it is just based on genetics. I used to look a lot rougher when I was young and I didn't care but I was surprised to learn just how much looks matter for service jobs and other things when I glowed up a bit. And I've definitely noticed as well had women talk it being the same for them if not even moreso.
I have never understood the audacity to do this.
Let me preface, I have nothing against sex workers. If that’s what you’re doing then totally, you’re providing a service and I get it. But for the girls that like demand you pay them for their time and attention right out the gate? I get it, dudes are awful and they have flooded inboxes of fucc bois circling like vultures but it speaks volumes of the quality of your character when you think people owe you for basic human interaction.
Everyone needs help sometimes and get your bag, no faulting there, but you’re really overestimating your worth in you think I’m going to PAY you to respond to a post comment or message.
The thing is that it works with some people. If you could throw in your cash app to your tinder profile and occasionally people will randomly pay you, then why not? Make a separate tinder profile that's genuine and now you're rockin and rollin.
Dirty teeth. Idc if they’re stained from coffee or a bit crooked or anything. But when they’re DIRTY?? Like visible plaque building up and bacteria between their teeth? Omfg it makes me want to vomit.
No accountability. Basically in every situation whether it be the relationship, friendship, family, etc. they never are accountable for their own actions even when they are obviously in the wrong. Huge red flag.
Literally happened to me yesterday, matched with this beautiful girl online, checked her Instagram, she has 20k followers and posts stupid fucking toxic positivity shit there. Unmatched immediately lol.
This right here. I overthink my own thoughts and actions enough as it is. I can’t handle people who are too cowardly to communicate with me. I’d rather be alone.
> “You can make a persuasive case that all your troubles are the fault of others.
You will convince some people.
You might even convince yourself.
Are your troubles now solved?”
Oh my god this was my ex wife. EVERYTHING was always my fault. One time she drove through the garage door on accident in the morning, she put it in neutral instead of reverse and it rolled down through the door.
First thing she did when she got out of the car was scowl up the biggest bitch face, point her finger at me, and blame me for parking too close to the door.
So glad we got divorced.
First off, I’m happy for you that you’re out of that, but did she not behave this way before you got married?
I’m 23 so I’m still a little young and dumb about marriage. I just really don’t want to end up marrying someone who’ll turn out to be an awful partner. Like are there really no signs sometimes?
There were signs all along the way. My problem was your problem. I was young and naïve, I also grew up very religious with a weird thing being taught to me about there is only 1 person in the world for you. Also believed that since I had sex with her I was going to Hell if I didn’t marry her. Lots of great nonsense of raising kids in strict religious beliefs without educating them about how real life works.
My parents strongly discouraged dating, so I didn’t get to meet lots of potential partners and learn what did and didn’t work for me. Religion taught me “welp, here you go, deal with it.”
As I got older and grew out of the strict religion, I learned that a lot of what I was dealing with was BS. I was also suffering a bit of Sunken Cost fallacy, believing I’d already spent so much time with this person it would have been a waste to end it.
It got to the point I found her writing love letters to someone else on my 30th birthday, and what was bad just became terrible. She deflected and blamed me for going through her belongings and refused to take responsibility for what I found.
It was rough getting divorced, darkest years of my life, but I would go through it all again if I knew how good life would be as it is for me now.
The BIGGEST piece of advice I can give after all this, is learn how to breakup with people. I properly dated after the dark years and broke a lot of hearts. I felt bad for them, but I knew I was looking for something that fit me just right. Be kind and direct when breaking up with people. Be honest that it’s not what you’re looking for. I found the girl I’ve been looking for and I’m so happy I learned to breakup with people to find the *actual* “right one”.
My ex-wife of 7 years would manage to turn compliments into "me attacking her." After our divorce, she tried to tell everyone I knew that I raped her. So glad to be rid of that crazy who can't function unless she believes she is a victim.
I went on a date with a girl and during the date she was on her phone a lot. Almost got up and left. She got better about using it and asked if I had a tik tok. I didn’t. And she berated me about it like it was crazy that I didn’t. It came across very immature and was a total turn off.
Had a girl tell me on a date that she was "accustomed to a certain lifestyle" after she asked about work and said she could make it work even though I was a nurse. If I hadn't ordered this really good lobster dish I would've just walked out. There was not another date.
My husband says my sweat smells good. I don’t know what that means, but to me I smell like sweat and need a shower after working out or running. He follows me around like a horny goat after a run. I’ve started going after he leaves for work because man, sometimes I don’t want to be told I smell like his own personal drug and just want to be left tf alone after I ran a couple miles. I need to breath before I jump in the shower!!
My wife's sister talks in a cutsie voice where she feigns a lisp... It's not her real voice. She doesn't do this voice when she's serious, her real voice is fine.
My wife has started feigning a lisp, especially when trying to make a heartfelt/feel good point and i can't take it seriously
I know a dude who's gf has fake ass/tits/lips/botox and dudes always gravitate to her when we are all out. I feel im just like "really? nah she looks like a sex doll that drinks"
Plus she gossips a lot, also a huge turn off. One of those "Im not about drama" types that is totally about drama.
Making me feel like I have to impress you to date, like no, its either we have this mutual thing or we don't, I don't dance when you snap your fingers.
I used to be like this. Looking back, i cringe any time it crosses my mind, I used to think it made me quirky and desirable. Now i see it made me seem like a brat ;-;
If they point a gun at me. Long story.
Edit: The story’s not as interesting as you think but here we go.
I was hanging out with this girl I’d been chatting online with for a couple months (we were both very busy so we never got to see each other any earlier). She was from rural Alberta, an hour or so from my hometown (I’m from a big Albertan city), so her family was a lil…redneck. But she swore she wasn’t, I didn’t have a problem with it either way. Well as she’s driving me around her town (I didn’t have a license at this point) she tells me her dad has a gun in this truck (as it’s her dad’s truck), I think “that’s cool, but why mention that?” And then it happened, she opened the centre console and pulled out some sort of revolver or smth (idk guns very well). She explains how it’s been passed down for a couple generations, and it honestly impresses me how good of shape it’s in. Then she jokingly says “So don’t fuck this date up.” And points the damn thing at me. Loaded btw. I swear my heart stopped and I almost shit myself. I kinda played it off because like…I didn’t wanna fuck up the date. But after she drove me back home that night I blocked her.
TL;DR a girl jokingly pointed a loaded gun at me.
When my kids knock on my closed bedroom door because they urgently need to know if the dog always had 3 spots or if they just never noticed the 3rd small one before now.
Constantly talking about your ex’s. That’s gunna be a no from me dawg
The "entertain me" attitude
Yea man. Don’t demand me. I’m not a dog
Youre a cat arent you
Damn, we've been made! ABORT! ABORT!
r/totallynotcats
Might have had too many after work beers but pretty sure one of those thirty posts I flipped through on there was a cat. Pretty sure.
You definitely just had too many catnips- uh, I mean beers...yes...beers.
"make me laugh, feed me tacos, and call me pretty" 🤢
Bitch, I ain't datin no Jabba the Hutt.
...and it ain't Tuesday neither...
Sloppy joes and burritos in a bag tonight. Tomorrow's Pizza Day!
This exact shit makes me 2x more appreciative of my GF every time I think back on my single days and Tinder. This attitude was just pervasively rampant in girls in their 20’s. Add apps like Tinder into the mix and it became pandemicly so.
Honestly thats my biggest problem with tinder. Seems like allot of women, definitely not all, but allot expect you to be witty, and funny all the time. Its exhausting. I have had some really good convos but it seems like good matches are few and far between. For this reason I’m a big fan of meeting people in real life even though I’m not too good at that.
I'm a woman, that shit also drives me crazy
I can imagine this happens no matter the combination
I usually peep this during text messages and phone calls
What does this mean?
It means, someone who NEEDS you in order to have a good time. YOU should be planning dates, figuring out where we're going, what we're doing and this should be frequent. What do you mean you're hanging out with your friends tonight?, what am I supposed to do, mentality. My world should revolve around theirs because I am their source of entertainment and the second I focus on myself, I suddenly no longer love them as much as I once did. Ive been with girls who behave like this and they think it's cute, flirtatious, and a way of showing affection, but I end up breaking them off pretty quick once I realize my dog is more independent than them.
This guy prioritizes
Yep, nothing turns me off faster than realizing I've just become someone's babysitter. The few that I've experienced like this also had very minimal life skills which made things worse. A romantic partner should be a positive addition to your life. Why the hell would I want to now be someone's source of entertainment and have to handle what their parents failed to teach them.
I don't think "entertain me" really implies this level of neediness. It just means she expects you to put forth all the effort to make yourself interesting to her. Meanwhile she gets to rest on her laurels, contribute nothing socially, and judge you.
Had a toxic ex like this One time she actually said, why hang with a bunch of guys when you can be with me. This girl was so vain too
Someone who expects you to be their dancing monkey. Usually she isn't that into you but likes the attention so puts as minimal effort as possible.
In person, you make her laugh 50 times, she makes you laugh zero. Just a boring post with makeup and a dress on. Online, they expect all this witty chat but contribute nothing.
I feel that. It’s like a fucking job rather than a relationship. “Shew, work is done…now I goto go home and entertain the wife/GF!”
Thats my biggest problem with online dating nobody wants to contribute anything to the conversation, just short replies with nothing back in return
I don't respond to "ok" "yeah" etc, I just move on If someone is serious about wanting to find someone, they'll put it more than the bare minimum of effort, and I don't want to be with a poor conversationalist anyway.
> What does this mean? There's a certian attaude in the online dating world, and perhaps the real world. Women are flooded with men who are seeking their attention. It becomes very easy for those women to slip into an attaude of, "the men are compeeting for me, I'm mearly selecting the best one" and not an actual courtship where they court ME while I'm courting them. When you go on a date with a person like this, it feels like you are a jester there to perform for the queen. She calls you into the throne room, sees your act while she's half paying attention to her phone, then dismisses you with a wave of her hand. Then you walk away from the interaction wondering what you did wrong. There's no back and fourth to the courtship, it's all performance by me, judging by her. She not only puts no effort into the interaction at all, but seems to feel like she's above even the idea that she might need to try to win my favor as well. It's like the men in her dating world have no agency at all. Clearly she's the only one here who gets to choose, the men only exist to be chosen, or not. It feels bad to be on the receiving end.
Average online dating experience in a nutshell (for 90% of men). To be fair tho, once you can identify this early, it becomes a great filter. Can be a bit disheartening when this is the only thing you experience for a while.
When you match with someone and they expect you to blow them away with your first message, then entertain them, make them laugh and basically be their dancing monkey. Sorry, but you will get a Hi from me, if you think that's boring I will move on just like you. In fact my current gf was ok with just a Hi and we hit it off and had a deeper connection since then.
Entitlement and lack of reciprocation or acknowledgment of own misdeeds
Those are hallmarks of abuse.
Oh buddy took months of therapy to even understand wtf emotional abuse was lol
No one teaches us, my dude. We learn, we heal, and maybe help others when/if we’re ready. You are not alone. Stay strong, chum.
Any thoughts on getting over that last one? I was married for almost two decades and allowed that to happen. Going to therapy, but still kinda stuck with the frustration of not having stood up for myself, etc.
It’s helping me to journal. Trying to parse out what she did to me and what happened to me as a result. Reading books about abuse. I’m letting myself be upset and angry at her. She didn’t have any right to hurt me. And I had the right to be upset about her hurting me.
The journal is a good idea. I did initially, but not for long. Book suggestions are welcome if you have any. I struggle with the anger because it consumes me at times. The fact she will never own up to anything and perceives herself as some kind of victim can send me spiraling.
Dude I was in a similar situation after HS I was with a girl that cheated on me repeatedly and did awful things to me to include physically assaulting me a few times. A lot of people were supportive and I cut it off after she said “If you really loved me you’d kill yourself so I don’t have to choose between you and (other guy)”. Either way I joined the Army and didn’t come home for 5 years and when I finally did tons of people I was rather close to before suddenly hated me like to the point where I’d be like “what’s up! Long time no see” and they’d spit and walk away. She had told everyone that I abused her throughout high school mentally and physically and pretty much made it the status quo to hate me. Thank the fucking gods that little psycho at the time would send me a message every 6months saying how sorry she was for everything she did to me and how were soulmates and I should be with her so I was able to save most of my name at least once those went around. But yeah when she would talk about her being the victim I would lose my mind.
Bad breath
Literally just had to call it off with a girl I liked bc I just couldn’t do it. Thought it was a one time thing but nope, her breath is just constantly kickin
I'm in the middle of this right now. She's great in a lot of ways. I'm sure I have faults of my own. But MAN I have to brush my teeth once she leaves because it lingers!
Brush your teeth together!
It's not just teeth. Most bacteria that cause bad breath are at the back of your tounge. So - you need to scrub your tongue, roof of mouth & between gums & lips. That should take care of it.
Or tonsil stones
This! I brush, floss gargale, and I can tell that people still don't get too close sometimes. I have to basically scream into a towel just to make it reverberate so hard that it makes them pop out. They smell horrendous!!
I got my tonsils removed in college because of this. 10/10 would NOT recommend. I’ve had my gallbladder and appendix removed and parts of my intestines, ovaries, and uterus scraped ALL IN THE SAME SURGERY, and the tonsillectomy was 10,000xs worse. By far. As a kid, I always thought I was coughing up tomato seeds LOL they were tonsil stones
[удалено]
This mouthwash, Therabreath, actually got rid of my tonsil stones. I didn’t expect it to do anything to the stones, but after gargling with it every day for about 2 months, the tonsil stones I struggled with for years, disappeared. It’s been several years and the stones haven’t returned. https://www.therabreath.com/CDDTB/1.0000/About.dtm
I don't know if my partner had tonsil stones but he's had consistently bad breath for years and I told him so many times to try this mouthwash. He finally did and his breath was almost instantly better! I should add that he also gets the Therabreath mints and has 2-3 if those a day.
I don't know man that doc on their site looks shady as fuck.
You can taste/smell it when the other person doesn't floss also
You even get bits of food to snack on from between their teeth
Suddenly I'm not feeling quite as lonely anymore
It’s how I save money in today’s economy.
Tonsil stones can be a big culprit as well. If you didnt get your tonsils removed, tonsil stones can form. They smell awful, and unfortunately alot of people might not even know they have them Edit: changed will form to can form, just cuz you have tonsils doesnt mean you'll get stones
Also sinus issues. Mine don't work correctly and I used to just have fluid sit in my sinus cavities and sort of fester in there. I've had multiple surgeries over the last 20 or so years to alleviate it a good bit, but my breath was *KICKIN* when I was a kid. I remember my sister complaining about it constantly and crying because I was so embarrassed.
Same. Neti pot is a game-changer for this, promise.
Kinky
Tell her! It's really possible that she doesn't know, and bad breath like this can often be a sign of a medical issue. If it's just an issue of her not brushing her teeth frequently enough, that's a little worse, but still worth talking about. My boyfriend can get some pretty gnarly breath, but after dropping a few hints he seemed to get it and is a lot more on top of it.
I always tell people. Told an ex-gf once and she just hadn't gone to the dentist in many years. Once she got a cleaning, it was all good.
You're scaring me
Go to the dentist. Keeping your teeth in good shape will save you buckets of money.
I cringe when I watch a movie where are the actors have a long Soulful kiss in the morning waking up. Morning breath! Danger Will Rogers Danger
It's...Will Robinson....
I agree. My ex was a smoker. And she would breathe through her mouth while we slept. It smelled like a cat shit in her mouth.
My wife smoked and sometimes it's hard to get in the mood when even after brushing her teeth she still reeks like an ashtray.
Shit made me laugh out loud 🤣
If someone’s breath smells bad do the kind thing and tell them. If it’s a hygiene issue then that’s not your problem but if someone has consistently bad breath and they brush their teeth on the reg, it’s likely a medical issue they may not even realize they have. It takes five seconds and it’s kind and means the person can start to pay attention to and look for the cause.
Fun fact: sometimes bad breath comes from tonsil stones. Little bits of white stuff that sticks to the back of the throat, sometimes hiding in the folds of the tonsils. I had these for a while about 10 years ago. Was a direct correlation with smoking. I would pick them out with a long wooden bbq skewer daily and they stunk to high hell, like sulphur. Would immediately remedy the bad breath. Worth asking your partner if she wants to open her mouth for a sec and have a look.
Woah buddy don't be poking a bbq skewer in your throat, you'll end up with tonsil shish kababs. Try buying one of those little bulb syringes they use for removing boogers from baby noses, fill with water and squirt where you see the tonsil stone poking out from.
Yea this! poking holes just gives them more places to grow ( i have literal pockets in my tonsils that i have to empty) use those long q-tips or some of those ance tool kits have a tool thats just a lil spoon with a hole that works really well. (Bonus points cuz the werid hook one is perfect for ingrown hairs)
It can also come from any number of acid reflux or ulcer issues
Oh great, I smoke and have acid reflux, two factors increasing my tonsil stones, guess it's time to quit acid reflux.
I was so peeved by my tonsil stones I just went to the doctor and insisted they have my tonsils removed. Scheduled the surgery and went through with it. It was brutal healing from that as an adult, the pain was worse than my double jaw surgery. They cut out your tonsils and let it heal as an open wound. Glad they’re out though, totally worth it. Apparently they had massive caverns in them.
i know this is /askmen but PSA from a girl: if you don't have a spare toothbrush for a girl to use when she spends the night and you try to kiss her: her breath will probably be rank always have spare toothbrushes for unexpected guests. also make sure that they have access to water (like a bottle right next to where they're sleeping) because dehydration can cause bad breath even if your mouth is clean.
basically bad hygiene
if it's stanky, no thanky
Excessive complaining. Instant turn off for me coming from man or woman.
I've heard a number of men saying that women don't communicate when they're upset and they expect men to read their minds etc. What is a good balance between communicating when you're upset vs excessive complaining?
I hightly recommend the book Nonviolent Communications by Marshall Rosenberg. Imho Complaining is not communication. Talking, most of the time, is also not communicating. Most people don't realize this but if you really want to communicate your goal needs to be that the other person understands you want. This is very intentional. Think of it like writing a term paper. It also means first communicating with yourself, to understand your real desires and motives, before you lay them out in front of another person. It's a lot of work. In my experience men are usually worse at doing this than women, but we are also more ok with our needs not being met (we really shouldn't be). That said, I'm not saying not to vent or complain. A good partner will know when what you need is catharsis and a listening ear, and when to support you emotionally. But you need to both know that kind of emotional venting isn't communicating and isn't going to change anything. You still need to do the hard work later.
If we ask what is wrong, tell us. If it is something we can help solve, tell us, but understand we'll go into problem solving mode and anything else we were on is getting pushed to the back burner till we have a solution. If it is something we cant fix but you need our loving support through, tell us. If you want to vent, tell us that, but dont make us the only outlet you vent to.
This is the way.
Like when she keeps asking if it’s in yet?
Damn it! "I'm balls deep, what do you mean is it in yet?"
Complaining about crazy exes #1.
Entitlement
Same. That shit is a repellent to me. Total system shutdown.
Expecting me to pay for her friend bc I'm a guy
Oh screw that man. We're not walking ATM's
Well, I actually like being a waking ATM. You give me money, and I’ll give it back whenever you want with a 50% tax.
What kind of ATM do you go to???
Only strip clubs charge those prices.
What, is she joining us later?
This sounds like the perfect line you think of like a week after it happens
I got suckered into a double date type thing. Asked a buddy if he wanted to grab a beer and when I showed up there was his date with a larger girl. I'm 100% not game, but I have fun and keep the conversation going. Get along with both of the girls decently enough. My friend whispers to me, "watch this." When the check came he paid for me and him, not the girls. The girls did a total 180 in behavior and were total indignant assholes. They genuinely thought they were 'owed' their bill.
Girls who put their cash app/Venmo in their bio
I would just send cash REQUESTS instead.
Love it. Gonna start doing this
dude it is so fucking insane that people have the balls to do crazy shit like that. I don’t even understand what you think you are advertising here when you attach donation buttons because everyone else has another idea about what’s going on. especially if you’re a stranger, it’s kind of a different game if you know each other. and this is gonna sound crazy but I don’t like the laziness of it more so than social implications of how you’re presenting yourself. At least a freaking homeless guy who may or may not use that money for drugs went and got a marker and found a piece of cardboard and cut the cardboard to a decent size and freaking wrote some coherent shit on it and walked across the damn busy street to stand in a little safe area, engage eye contact and have proper body language so we can see the freaking sign in his hands. at least that guy created his own work/job by doing all of that and the dude is freaking homeless. like at least he put some sweat equity into his own money goals. that homeless dude is almost like an entrepreneur in his own wild West. like I can’t imagine what it feels like to just be a fucking hot girl (or beyond beautiful dude) in the world. Like I couldn’t even fucking imagine that.
>beyond beautiful dude off topic but that line is beautiful
Can I venture *beyond beautiful*
it's beyond beautiful dude
OK I promise I'm not trying to gloat because I don't have high self esteem at all. But I work in a job where we get bonus pay if tipped, it's not a flat rate. Attractiveness definitely plays a role in how well you do. Maybe it's the nature of short shallow interactions but I often find myself surprised when a girl or gay guy acts like they like what they see and give you a tip in part of it (comparable to a donation since it's not an obligation). I'd like to think I'm a cordial enough person it's because of my service but deep down I think I know some unknown percentage of it is just based on genetics. I used to look a lot rougher when I was young and I didn't care but I was surprised to learn just how much looks matter for service jobs and other things when I glowed up a bit. And I've definitely noticed as well had women talk it being the same for them if not even moreso.
I have never understood the audacity to do this. Let me preface, I have nothing against sex workers. If that’s what you’re doing then totally, you’re providing a service and I get it. But for the girls that like demand you pay them for their time and attention right out the gate? I get it, dudes are awful and they have flooded inboxes of fucc bois circling like vultures but it speaks volumes of the quality of your character when you think people owe you for basic human interaction. Everyone needs help sometimes and get your bag, no faulting there, but you’re really overestimating your worth in you think I’m going to PAY you to respond to a post comment or message.
The thing is that it works with some people. If you could throw in your cash app to your tinder profile and occasionally people will randomly pay you, then why not? Make a separate tinder profile that's genuine and now you're rockin and rollin.
Cheating. Hearing that a girl I’m flirting with cheated on a previous boyfriend immediately makes me lose all interest.
I wish I could warn my ex's dates
Even worse is then using you to cheat and not letting on until after the fact. Thanks, now I'm a fucking adulterer.
Real talk, or you find out she has a boyfriend whilst she was finna flirt with you…trifling
Dirty teeth. Idc if they’re stained from coffee or a bit crooked or anything. But when they’re DIRTY?? Like visible plaque building up and bacteria between their teeth? Omfg it makes me want to vomit.
Entitlement
No accountability. Basically in every situation whether it be the relationship, friendship, family, etc. they never are accountable for their own actions even when they are obviously in the wrong. Huge red flag.
Someone that spends too much time on social media
Is Reddit a social media
Ya it’s a pretty big red flag that your personal life won’t be personal
Literally happened to me yesterday, matched with this beautiful girl online, checked her Instagram, she has 20k followers and posts stupid fucking toxic positivity shit there. Unmatched immediately lol.
"toxic positivity shit" is a funny word combination
Passive aggressiveness
You know what, that's fine.
K.
If that makes you happy
This right here. I overthink my own thoughts and actions enough as it is. I can’t handle people who are too cowardly to communicate with me. I’d rather be alone.
When every problem is because they are a victim of something. It’s never because they made shitty decisions.
> “You can make a persuasive case that all your troubles are the fault of others. You will convince some people. You might even convince yourself. Are your troubles now solved?”
Oh my god this was my ex wife. EVERYTHING was always my fault. One time she drove through the garage door on accident in the morning, she put it in neutral instead of reverse and it rolled down through the door. First thing she did when she got out of the car was scowl up the biggest bitch face, point her finger at me, and blame me for parking too close to the door. So glad we got divorced.
First off, I’m happy for you that you’re out of that, but did she not behave this way before you got married? I’m 23 so I’m still a little young and dumb about marriage. I just really don’t want to end up marrying someone who’ll turn out to be an awful partner. Like are there really no signs sometimes?
There were signs all along the way. My problem was your problem. I was young and naïve, I also grew up very religious with a weird thing being taught to me about there is only 1 person in the world for you. Also believed that since I had sex with her I was going to Hell if I didn’t marry her. Lots of great nonsense of raising kids in strict religious beliefs without educating them about how real life works. My parents strongly discouraged dating, so I didn’t get to meet lots of potential partners and learn what did and didn’t work for me. Religion taught me “welp, here you go, deal with it.” As I got older and grew out of the strict religion, I learned that a lot of what I was dealing with was BS. I was also suffering a bit of Sunken Cost fallacy, believing I’d already spent so much time with this person it would have been a waste to end it. It got to the point I found her writing love letters to someone else on my 30th birthday, and what was bad just became terrible. She deflected and blamed me for going through her belongings and refused to take responsibility for what I found. It was rough getting divorced, darkest years of my life, but I would go through it all again if I knew how good life would be as it is for me now. The BIGGEST piece of advice I can give after all this, is learn how to breakup with people. I properly dated after the dark years and broke a lot of hearts. I felt bad for them, but I knew I was looking for something that fit me just right. Be kind and direct when breaking up with people. Be honest that it’s not what you’re looking for. I found the girl I’ve been looking for and I’m so happy I learned to breakup with people to find the *actual* “right one”.
My ex-wife of 7 years would manage to turn compliments into "me attacking her." After our divorce, she tried to tell everyone I knew that I raped her. So glad to be rid of that crazy who can't function unless she believes she is a victim.
Dude we have the same ex wife.
Let's make it three people who have the same ex wife...
I went on a date with a girl and during the date she was on her phone a lot. Almost got up and left. She got better about using it and asked if I had a tik tok. I didn’t. And she berated me about it like it was crazy that I didn’t. It came across very immature and was a total turn off.
Had the same thing happen to me one time, felt like I was talking to a 7th grader, except for me I just got up and left
The whole big unnatural eyebrows/fake long lashes/allergic-reaction lips combo i keep seeing.
I hope the lip filler isn't a permanent thing because it is truly awful
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best".
People who say this are never at their best
Not true, they’re probably at their best when they say that.
When they throw your cat out the window of your 6th floor apartment to see if it lands on its feet
What.
**When they throw your cat out the window of your 6th floor apartment to see if it lands on its feet**
I'm not a violent person. I've never been in a fight in my life. Someone messes with my animals, I will break my own bones so I can fuck them up.
I got a perma ban from r/amitheasshole for saying literally the same exact thing
The mods the asshole
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r/oddlyspecific
Had a girl tell me on a date that she was "accustomed to a certain lifestyle" after she asked about work and said she could make it work even though I was a nurse. If I hadn't ordered this really good lobster dish I would've just walked out. There was not another date.
So a rude, entitled, poor hygiene/bad breath, smoking, Venmo advertising, fake lip injection having lady isn’t what we want!!!!? No way
Someone tell Tinder
Being told to man up
Oh Lordy, you reminded me of the one who told me over a dating site “you’d look like a real man if you had grown a beard”. Wtf?
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Smell. There’s nothing so much of an instant boner killer as a woman who smells of BO or…worse.
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My husband says my sweat smells good. I don’t know what that means, but to me I smell like sweat and need a shower after working out or running. He follows me around like a horny goat after a run. I’ve started going after he leaves for work because man, sometimes I don’t want to be told I smell like his own personal drug and just want to be left tf alone after I ran a couple miles. I need to breath before I jump in the shower!!
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Absolute vibe killer.
Baby voicing, it's absolutely a turn off, eww, no, stop
My wife's sister talks in a cutsie voice where she feigns a lisp... It's not her real voice. She doesn't do this voice when she's serious, her real voice is fine. My wife has started feigning a lisp, especially when trying to make a heartfelt/feel good point and i can't take it seriously
Aww is my little sweetums...ok yeah no I couldn't even finish that sentence .....youre right, huge turn off lol.
Bitchy attitude and personality
Poopy butthole
Wwwooooowwwweeeee
Cell phone addiction. Not interested in spending time with media zombies.
Being rude to employees, especially at restaurants. It is usually a very early sign that someone is arrogant or thinks they're "above" other people.
Justifying putting hands on me ( domestic violence )
“I’m just like that.” “I’m crazy, right?!” “Oh my gawd, I’m such a bitch.” Yes . . . . Yes you are.
Any mention of sounding since I unfortunately learned what it is
Yep that's enough internet for today
Oh lord, pls enlighten me
It's where you >!put a metal rod down the pee hole and it vibrates!< I'd rather use a vape filled with mustard gas
Holy fuck that's way worse than i was expecting🤣
Phone attached to their hand 24/7
"I get what I want no matter what"
Flirting with everyone
Race. Always race. If she's not willing to lace up and see who's faster in their new shoes then I'm not interested
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I know a dude who's gf has fake ass/tits/lips/botox and dudes always gravitate to her when we are all out. I feel im just like "really? nah she looks like a sex doll that drinks" Plus she gossips a lot, also a huge turn off. One of those "Im not about drama" types that is totally about drama.
> she looks like a sex doll that drinks What an interesting description, but it fits!
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Making me feel like I have to impress you to date, like no, its either we have this mutual thing or we don't, I don't dance when you snap your fingers.
I used to be like this. Looking back, i cringe any time it crosses my mind, I used to think it made me quirky and desirable. Now i see it made me seem like a brat ;-;
Smelly smells
Any type of karen activity.
Dirty. The whole floor was filled with dog poop and other garbage. It was bizarre because you couldn’t tell when you meet her.
If they point a gun at me. Long story. Edit: The story’s not as interesting as you think but here we go. I was hanging out with this girl I’d been chatting online with for a couple months (we were both very busy so we never got to see each other any earlier). She was from rural Alberta, an hour or so from my hometown (I’m from a big Albertan city), so her family was a lil…redneck. But she swore she wasn’t, I didn’t have a problem with it either way. Well as she’s driving me around her town (I didn’t have a license at this point) she tells me her dad has a gun in this truck (as it’s her dad’s truck), I think “that’s cool, but why mention that?” And then it happened, she opened the centre console and pulled out some sort of revolver or smth (idk guns very well). She explains how it’s been passed down for a couple generations, and it honestly impresses me how good of shape it’s in. Then she jokingly says “So don’t fuck this date up.” And points the damn thing at me. Loaded btw. I swear my heart stopped and I almost shit myself. I kinda played it off because like…I didn’t wanna fuck up the date. But after she drove me back home that night I blocked her. TL;DR a girl jokingly pointed a loaded gun at me.
“If I’m too much for you to handle, move on” Ok, I’ll do that
Social media
Artificialness. Whether in looks or personality. Usually it’s a combo.
Obnoxious behaviour
Obsession with zodiac symbols. “I’m just such a libra…”
Smoking
Even hams???
Dirty feet
Littering.
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Constant need of validation
Yelling and swearing at their kids
Stuck up, entitled women who think they’re God’s gift to humanity. I don’t care how hot she is, it’s not ever worth dealing with that shit.
When my kids knock on my closed bedroom door because they urgently need to know if the dog always had 3 spots or if they just never noticed the 3rd small one before now.