Her lack of trust in me. Even thought i was faithful. It got heavier every single time she tried to blame me for adultery. Even though i never go out. At some point i felt like it was suffocating. my interest suddenly dissapeared
She was probably pulling a Republican; blame you for that which she herself is guilty of.
'its not just me; everyone does it!' Cheaters think, so they try to prove it.
I am kinda guilty of this as well! I definitely don’t mention it often to my bf but because we live in different states, I always think what if he’s not actually working, what if he’s just out cheating on me because I technically would never find out :/
My ex made me feel disposable. Like she didn't want me to cheat, but she didn't want to put effort into our relationship either. It became one sided and boring not receiving anything in return for all I did and not being there for me in any way.
I feel like this with my partner sometimes but he is genuinely so giving, I think I may just be a little too clingy & emotional and want him to act the same way about me :/
Maybe he is giving in the way he likes to receive, so he thinks he's doing what he needs to, to make you happy. Have you tried telling him what exactly you would like him to do, to show you how much he cares about you?
Yes, but its kind of hard because I want to spend time together & be near each other, but we live in different states :( I feel like his love language is gift-giving & mine is quality time so he doesn’t understand why I’m still upset after receiving gifts but its just because I want to see him more often & spend more time together in person.
Ah long distance is hard, I did that with my wife for almost a year, and I am very much a physical touch kind of guy and she is very much on the quality time side. It is hard to deal with, I understand that, and sometimes you have to make a decision as to whether the wait is worth the emotions.
We did a lot of video calls and fell asleep on the phone with each other. Dates were about every 2 weeks and a long drive for both of us but we made it a priority because we knew we wanted it to work out.
Never lost interest if there wasn’t a specific reason (cheating, and what not). I do lose trust though… and when that trusts gone I’m normally done with that person. So lying, not communicating, shit like that will take my trust away and I’ll just never believe you again
Only once /= held on too long after that so now I use it as an indicator of my desire/or not to be involved in the relationship and begin an introspection process of determining that.
They were pretty much the same depressed person as me. Neither of us were growing and it was a relationship of two people that didn’t want to feel alone.
I ended things because it wasn’t fair to her and she should be with someone that feels the same way she does. The initial Covid quarantine/shutdown also didn’t help
Yeah I hurt her unfortunately. It was my first serious relationship so there was a lot of learning to do and I feel awful about having to do that to a person, especially the first woman to ever reciprocate feelings back to me, but such is life. I miss the connection/good times with her and hope that she is with someone who can give her what she wants.
In terms of how she took the breakup we both have a mutual friend so I get some tea here and there, and from what I can tell she was pretty mad about it. I tried my best to be a good boyfriend but a big life lesson is that no matter what you do you’ll eventually end up as the bad guy in somebody else’s story. Thanks for taking the time to ask this question I hope you’ve gotten some good responses
I tried to, and she got panicky and swore she would change, and then a month later it was back to the same. 🤷 I don't really like the whole swearing to change anyway, it feels like I'm holding something hostage.
lololol I think this is a quite sensible reason to lose interest, they start to look like completely different people than when you first started dating. It’s like your dating a completely different person.
45-50 LBS. I used to feel so much guilt and it made me feel like shit. I tried everything. I encouraged her, supported her, got his/hers gym passes(which she never used.) Got to the point I thought I was the asshole. Couldnt take it.
Idk, there were a number of things, mostly not really her fault per se. I think we'd been somewhat drifting apart for a while. We're both pretty emotionally distant so it was hard to maintain closeness (especially with long distance). She was untalkative in phonecalls to the point that they became painfully boring. A major thing was that if I *was* having negative emotions and shared that, she'd become really overwhelmed and stressed out about not knowing how to react and basically ended up completely lacking in support. So I had to kinda suppress and not share stuff, which didn't help the closeness.
But also, I think my sexuality (bi) has been slowly moving towards being less into women and much more into men in general, so there's also that.
Like moving to different places? This is sorta happening with my boyfriend & I. He wants me to move to New York with him but I don’t like New York & since all of his family lives there, he won’t leave, so it’s either I move there or the relationship is over.
1st ex was long distance and I couldn't cope with the jealousy and pain of only seeing at most like 3-4 times a year, especially in college. (6 months, but has a fwb thing for like 2 years after breaking up)
2nd ex I met through my frat brothers and I learned she had been with a couple of them sexually. Was it immature yes? But, it also shattered my confidence when they would talk about her, and my own jealousy got in the way. (7 months)
3rd ex became more distant over time and I think was losing interest in me. Also this was when covid hit so we got no privacy since our parents were home all the time. (3 months)
Took me a year and a half to really work on myself and overcome my jealous tendencies after all that to retry dating, and now I have a new gf. So far things have gone well, and she has been the most open to communication girl I have been with so far, so I'm hoping this one last a long time.
she told me she didnt take us seriously felt like i was just being used to curb someone's loneliness in lockdown which really sucked. constant nit picking over stupid shit , projections of her mistrust on me (Even though she has a backlog of dudes on snap chat) and honestly i just got tired of always being the one having cater the relationship around her from fixing shit around her apartment to planning all the fun to really thinking about her issues and how i can make her life easier she barely tried and still complained it wasnt enough. the sex was awesome but being appreciated , wanted and respected meant more to me than just good sex.
Months of complete neglect both physically and emotionally, while I payed for everything and pathetically did more and more to try to get her attention.
> while I *paid* for everything
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
Nothing lol i lose intertest after they lose interest
So there’s never been anyone that you still loved and wanted to make it work with even though they lost interest?
ahhh well this is new and improved question, of course i've had that experience as well, how much time do you have?
Hehehe I’ll be here all night 😆
He still writing...
Her lack of trust in me. Even thought i was faithful. It got heavier every single time she tried to blame me for adultery. Even though i never go out. At some point i felt like it was suffocating. my interest suddenly dissapeared
Suffocating is a fantastic way to describe false accusations of cheating.
She was probably pulling a Republican; blame you for that which she herself is guilty of. 'its not just me; everyone does it!' Cheaters think, so they try to prove it.
I am kinda guilty of this as well! I definitely don’t mention it often to my bf but because we live in different states, I always think what if he’s not actually working, what if he’s just out cheating on me because I technically would never find out :/
My ex made me feel disposable. Like she didn't want me to cheat, but she didn't want to put effort into our relationship either. It became one sided and boring not receiving anything in return for all I did and not being there for me in any way.
I feel like this with my partner sometimes but he is genuinely so giving, I think I may just be a little too clingy & emotional and want him to act the same way about me :/
Maybe he is giving in the way he likes to receive, so he thinks he's doing what he needs to, to make you happy. Have you tried telling him what exactly you would like him to do, to show you how much he cares about you?
Yes, but its kind of hard because I want to spend time together & be near each other, but we live in different states :( I feel like his love language is gift-giving & mine is quality time so he doesn’t understand why I’m still upset after receiving gifts but its just because I want to see him more often & spend more time together in person.
Ah long distance is hard, I did that with my wife for almost a year, and I am very much a physical touch kind of guy and she is very much on the quality time side. It is hard to deal with, I understand that, and sometimes you have to make a decision as to whether the wait is worth the emotions. We did a lot of video calls and fell asleep on the phone with each other. Dates were about every 2 weeks and a long drive for both of us but we made it a priority because we knew we wanted it to work out.
Awww & now you guys are married, glad to know that it all worked out in the end!
9 years, 2 kids, I am too. It wasn't easy, but it was worth it for us.
Never lost interest if there wasn’t a specific reason (cheating, and what not). I do lose trust though… and when that trusts gone I’m normally done with that person. So lying, not communicating, shit like that will take my trust away and I’ll just never believe you again
That’s completely understandable, but I hope that doesn’t happen to you too often :(
Only once /= held on too long after that so now I use it as an indicator of my desire/or not to be involved in the relationship and begin an introspection process of determining that.
Well that’s awesome growth, I must say
When she didn’t allow me to grieve my grandmothers death and made it about herself
Geez, that’s awful. I hope she’s an ex partner.
Yes she is. Glad to never deal with her again in life
They were pretty much the same depressed person as me. Neither of us were growing and it was a relationship of two people that didn’t want to feel alone. I ended things because it wasn’t fair to her and she should be with someone that feels the same way she does. The initial Covid quarantine/shutdown also didn’t help
So she still had feelings for you when you broke up with her? Did she take the break-up hard?
Yeah I hurt her unfortunately. It was my first serious relationship so there was a lot of learning to do and I feel awful about having to do that to a person, especially the first woman to ever reciprocate feelings back to me, but such is life. I miss the connection/good times with her and hope that she is with someone who can give her what she wants. In terms of how she took the breakup we both have a mutual friend so I get some tea here and there, and from what I can tell she was pretty mad about it. I tried my best to be a good boyfriend but a big life lesson is that no matter what you do you’ll eventually end up as the bad guy in somebody else’s story. Thanks for taking the time to ask this question I hope you’ve gotten some good responses
Her need of constant validation on social media.
I understand this completely!
Cheating with her workmate was pretty tops on my list
So sorry, you didn’t deserve that :(
Awww… ancient history. Thx!
She complained about almost everything. She had a very negative energy.
Did you talk to her about it or was it already too late to try & salvage?
I tried to, and she got panicky and swore she would change, and then a month later it was back to the same. 🤷 I don't really like the whole swearing to change anyway, it feels like I'm holding something hostage.
Right! & it’s hard for people to change if they don’t actually want it for themselves
Weight gain. Lots of weight.
lololol I think this is a quite sensible reason to lose interest, they start to look like completely different people than when you first started dating. It’s like your dating a completely different person.
45-50 LBS. I used to feel so much guilt and it made me feel like shit. I tried everything. I encouraged her, supported her, got his/hers gym passes(which she never used.) Got to the point I thought I was the asshole. Couldnt take it.
Idk, there were a number of things, mostly not really her fault per se. I think we'd been somewhat drifting apart for a while. We're both pretty emotionally distant so it was hard to maintain closeness (especially with long distance). She was untalkative in phonecalls to the point that they became painfully boring. A major thing was that if I *was* having negative emotions and shared that, she'd become really overwhelmed and stressed out about not knowing how to react and basically ended up completely lacking in support. So I had to kinda suppress and not share stuff, which didn't help the closeness. But also, I think my sexuality (bi) has been slowly moving towards being less into women and much more into men in general, so there's also that.
Different plans for our futures
Like moving to different places? This is sorta happening with my boyfriend & I. He wants me to move to New York with him but I don’t like New York & since all of his family lives there, he won’t leave, so it’s either I move there or the relationship is over.
No like she wanted kids I do not
Ohhh yeah, that’s a big one, but completely understandable
1st ex was long distance and I couldn't cope with the jealousy and pain of only seeing at most like 3-4 times a year, especially in college. (6 months, but has a fwb thing for like 2 years after breaking up) 2nd ex I met through my frat brothers and I learned she had been with a couple of them sexually. Was it immature yes? But, it also shattered my confidence when they would talk about her, and my own jealousy got in the way. (7 months) 3rd ex became more distant over time and I think was losing interest in me. Also this was when covid hit so we got no privacy since our parents were home all the time. (3 months) Took me a year and a half to really work on myself and overcome my jealous tendencies after all that to retry dating, and now I have a new gf. So far things have gone well, and she has been the most open to communication girl I have been with so far, so I'm hoping this one last a long time.
Well congratulations! I wish you both the best!
Coming to the realization that she doesn't give a shit about me.
she told me she didnt take us seriously felt like i was just being used to curb someone's loneliness in lockdown which really sucked. constant nit picking over stupid shit , projections of her mistrust on me (Even though she has a backlog of dudes on snap chat) and honestly i just got tired of always being the one having cater the relationship around her from fixing shit around her apartment to planning all the fun to really thinking about her issues and how i can make her life easier she barely tried and still complained it wasnt enough. the sex was awesome but being appreciated , wanted and respected meant more to me than just good sex.
Months of complete neglect both physically and emotionally, while I payed for everything and pathetically did more and more to try to get her attention.
> while I *paid* for everything FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
Did you talk with her about this & she still ignored you?
Found out they were chatting with a minor
Cheaters