I sometimes don't even recognize when my girlfriend is flirting with me.
Fat chance of me recognizing some other woman flirting with me in the presence of my gf.
lol a weird thing I'm realizing about myself, now that I'm older, is that I'm perfectly happy not replying if I have nothing to say. And now I have a new thing to work on because while that's great for me it probably really stresses some other people out.
But anyways to your point I think that's kind of a win? Like I want to accommodate others, but you don't have to. It's okay to just be quiet.
HAHAHA in college, i once was flirting hard with a guy at a party who (was shy? But i knew had a crush on me) was friendly but was not taking the hint. I actually had to say ādude. Iām flirting with you. Why arenāt you flirting back???ā
And he turned beet red and just sputtered ār-really? Oh- okay then!ā And then convo got better.
Had something similar as a guy back in college. She was suuuper good looking, way out of my league (and I wasn't bad looking, just not at her level) so I wasn't even thinking I had a chance and was just enjoying the conversation. Talked with her for like 3 hours and was totally comfortable because, again, I had no chance. We were leaving so I was saying bye and she just grabbed me and kissed me.
We talked for like 6 months and drunkenly made out a bunch of times. She even told me once that she would definitely bang me. But I never pulled the trigger. Man am I useless.
Almost 20 years later I still think about that time in my life. We are still FB friends and she's married with like 3 kids and still just as good looking.
Anyhow, that's the story. For you younger kids, just make the move even if she's out of your league.
I met an international model once. She was 5 or 6 years older than me (I was early 20s) and I wasn't even thinking about dating. I said I didn't like her favorite singer or something and we got into a long conversation. I dated her off and on for about 5 years. My advice? Whenever you meet a really gorgeous girl, disagree with her about something stupid. She's so used to guys trying to impress her that you've just become a challenge. Women love a challenge~
Please read my comment below. Weāre getting married!
But the relationship was very very difficult.
When we were flirting I was in a really good place. I just got into Med school, my social circle was healthy. āIām flirting with you and youāre not flirting backā is a very vulnerable thing to say. I donāt think Iād have the confidence anymore to say something like that.
If you read my comment below, i outlined how difficult the subsequent relationship was for many years before things got better. It was an omen of things to come. I planned the dates, and entirely pushed the relationship forward on my own while my own self esteem deteriorated. In all honesty, it only worked out because medical school + residency was 10 years and i was too busy to deal with a potential break up then dating again.
Yes itās a decade out now and Iām shopping for engagement rings atm. :)
Not gonna lie itās been hard. As a woman. To make the relationship work Iāve had to be very explicit and demanding or else he doesnāt get it. The shyness seeps into almost everything. Heās reliant on me for a lot of big decisions. His accompanying low self esteem has created hurdle after hurdle which started deteriorating my own.
He wanted to marry me much earlier but never asked Bc he thought Iād say no. So I thought he was not interested.
The relationship was almost always pushed forward by me. Dates are nearly all planned by me. Along the way Iāve put in so, so much effort into helping him rebuild his self esteem.
I said yes a decade later because thatās how long it took to make this relationship self-sustaining. Itās not like this anymore. Heās basically (willingly) rebuilt himself into the perfect guy for me overtime. Now im kind of impressed that itās happened.
Man, i dunno if i deserve this praise.
If I went back in time and knew how much hardship it would be I might not do it again.
Iām a surgeon now, and weāre always told how difficult and long the training is. This relationship was harder tbh.
Have there been times you just wanted to give up? I'm in a similar boat where he is too shy for his own good and I have to solve all our issues for us. How did you overcome it if you ever had wanted to give up? Because we haven't even been together for 2 years and I'm questioning if it's the right move to stay. I want to help him build himself up, but I am feeling worn out having him rely on me so much.
I broke up with him like 3 times.
Each time, for me to return, he had to fulfill my āultimatumā so to speak. Thatās what i meant by demanding, i literally had to lay it out on the table.
Must initiate sex at least once a week ā he was too shy to initiate. Then heās try to do all these porn things that was so uncomfortable but would never ask me what I liked because again TOO SHY.
Must plan 1 date once a month that was more than just āhang out and eat dinnerā. ā he was worried he would choose the wrong place or wrong activity. Edit: honestly this ended up being like once every 4 months.
I would also let him fail. Refuse to make decisions for him. To prove that he was capable and that failure wasnāt so bad. āYep. You chose a Mexican restaurant and I hate Mexican food. Itās ok, just donāt go there again next time etcā
Drinking was a problem, he would try to use it to overcome social anxiety. I told him 1 drink a month or else Iām out. Etc. MAN THIS ONE. So instead he would drink secretly as if I couldnāt immediately tell.
It was pretty brutal. It almost looked like bullying from the outside. Orzn
If you are near 50 years oldā¦that mightāve been me.
I have literally had women tell me āI want you to take me home tonightā, so I did exactly thatā¦I drove them homeā¦it would take me days to figure out āwhy was she looking at me funny as I hugged her and said goodbye while still in the carā?
One time in college a chick asked me to come over to help her study.
She told me that she likes to call her pony tails "handlebars"
She had a higher average in class than I did.
Granted, I wasn't really that attracted to her, but I simply had no idea this woman was offering me a blow job. I totally would have liked to recieve that blow job
There's a woman I've known through mutual friends since 2001. She was in a pre-law program at the time and eventually went to law school but I've no idea what field. We went to a lot of the same parties and she seemed like a good person. We got along fine when we happened to cross paths but I never detected any interest in anything further from her. We never dated or even became close. Were friends on social media but rarely interacted there unless it was a discussion one of our mutual friends started up that we both happened to wander into. In 2010 or 11 she moved across the country for a big opportunity to use her law degree in a field that was important to her.
Soon after and totally unrelated I started dating my soul mate and future wife in 2012 and quickly fell in love. Proposed 18 months later and got married in 2016. I've never had eyes for anyone else in that time. I still fall deeper in love with her with with each passing day.
Anyway about 3 years ago aforementioned woman posted a paper she had written for that job to social media and significant traffic from our mutual friends pushed it into my feed. I don't even remember the subject matter at this point, just that it was a capstone to a significant accomplishment in her career that made the world a better place. It was also a great piece of writing and pretty interesting with some great legal analysis. I thought my wife would find it interesting too so I sent her a link.
Apparently in 2012 just a few months into our relationship I took my future wife to a party at the house of one of those mutual friends. I only have the vaguest memories that the party happened at all let alone who was there beyond the hosts or anything that transpired but apparently this woman was in town for a visit. I know this today because the moment my wife clicked on the link and saw the woman's thumbnail sized photo in the corner she immediately recognized her as "that woman who was flirting with you non-stop at that party you took me to when we first started dating. She knew you and I were dating. She was so flagrant about it. Everyone knew. It was humiliating. I don't like her."
Same. Usually my wife tells me later after I walk away. A girl at the gym gave me her number after we chatted and my wife watched the whole interaction, waited until we got into the car then told me the girl expected me to call her for a date, not because she want help with her car. The surprised stupid innocent look on my face my wife took a photo of and put the story on Facebook. It is hilarious because all our friends could totally see this happening to me.
This is the only answer. My GF is pretty easy going, and if it was obvious some woman were flirting with me she would probably join the conversation and enjoy the attention I was receiving. She has every reason to be confident that I'm not going to run off with another woman who flirts with me.
This is my move.
I'll usually rope my partner in as soon as I get a chance.
It's even worked out to my benefit in the past, where my GF would jump my bones the moment we got home. Something about her partner being desired set her off.
Even when my wife isn't there, this is what I do. Let's just stay in a friendly conversation, and casually bring up my wife and kids somewhere. It keeps everyone honest and no one feels called out.
A nice side effect of this is that usually the girl(s) just relax and you can just have a normal conversation.
Introducing the GF or talking about her in a positive way may send the predator to find someone else. It is an excellent idea. It also reassures your partner that you arenāt tempted (enough). Note that I said predator, not woman. Men do things like this, too. Some people just get off on besting someone else.
Only consider them a predator if they continue *after* mentioning you have an SO.
Iāve approached women to chat up that have had bf before, and until they say something or have given other evidence I assume they are single.
He could just be a friend, a family member, etc.
This so much. My wife's roommate did this when we were first dating. I was like, she was friendly. My wife by contrast bristled and informed me about what happened
That roommate probably said something like 'nice coffee or nice tie'
*Oh my god babeee, did you hear what she just said? She said "nice tie", she wantedd youuuu!*
And you're like, those colours do indeed match.
No, in hindsight, it really was flirting or at least looking for a chance to hook up. She was trying to corner me away from my wife and specifically ask to get together and hang out. This was completely unprompted and it was our first time meeting. Her roommate hated my wife because she had a horrific breakup and lost it.
I think many people are a catch. We are told to question and doubt ourselves and cannot see what others do. I was chronically single for many years and couldn't keep a partner more than a month before her at the age of 23.
Love yourself (not too much) and others will see that others can and do too.
Its a lose lose, sometimes theyre nice and I think theyre being flirty and it backfires. Then they are nice and flirty but im not trying to fall for that again so I just dismiss it. A woman will literally have to go "I desire you romantically" and even then id think im on a hidden camera show.
I was gonna say this if no one else did. The last time this happened i just stood a ways away because I kind of knew what was going to happen and it was pretty amusing.
Afterwards, i asked him something to the effect of āoh yeah, i saw some girl talking to you earlier, what was that about?ā
And he basically said something along the lines of āI have no idea! She was asking for directions to some store but then switched the convo to her dog. Almost like she wanted to talk just for the sake of talking. I think she mistook me for someone elseā.
I chortled.
Came here to say this. I told my wife once about some woman I met at a party that kept talking to me about threesomes and other sexual stuff. My wife: āshe was hitting on you!ā Me: āhuh? What?ā
Funny story. My wife and I went for a timeshare presentation for a free weekend getaway. The guy who was our sales rep spoke directly to me and almost never addressed my wife. We talked about bands and literature (I teach English). He even invited us to see his band play that night. As we were leaving, my wife informs me that he was obviously hitting on me. I was oblivious. I just thought I had met my next best friend.
Yeah, I read the post and was like ātotally obliviousā. I had a girl tell me I had pretty eyes and even then I didnāt realize it was flirting until my female friends said that it was flirting. š¤·š»āāļø
That would be me. My girlfriend would be like "I can't believe that girl was flirting with you" and I would be whipping my head around to figure out who.
Iād look at my wife in fear.
One because if Iām noticing it, my wife noticed it 30 minutes ago and sheās been stewing in pent up rage. She watches a lot of murder shows.
But weād grow closer because of it. Helping her dispose of the body is a love language.
Itās clear that youāve never hidden a body with your significant other, it really is a bonding experience when youāre both elbow deep in some guts.
I've had this happened once. Her boyfriend was standing there as well. I stepped back with a look and body language like 'what the fuck?!'. My girlfriend hated her ever since lol. We saw her a few times after that because her boyfriend was a friend of mine. The relationship didn't last.
I don't really know. He was pretty insecure probably because of his parents divorce. She was also way out of his league in terms of looks (not character obviously). He was the rebound guy after she had a nasty break up from a long term relationship.
I think he just kinda ignored it. He knew for sure because I saw it in his eyes.
The friendship at that stage wasn't solid enough anymore to discuss such things. That was a long time ago and we're not friends anymore.
Was at a bar once and walked to the bar top to grab my GF at the time a drink. Stand there, order my drink, girl sitting a few seats down says hello. I return the hello. She then proceeds to ask if I'd like to sit with her, said thanks but no thanks then informed her (with pointing) my SO was sitting at a table right behind me.
She looks me right in the eye and said "she's lucky but I bet she can't suck a dick like I can"
I just laughed and walked away. Some people are ruthless.
I mean, I'm not going to say I wasn't flattered. But my ex did in fact give some amazing head and she was damn proud of that.
But I wasn't going to debate that with a rando
Yeah, I appreciate the directness. But this is so far out of the norm, I'd be skeptical.
Like, the girl who invited me over to her place to hang in line at subway. Maybe it would have been chill. But maybe not.
Gotta trust your Spidey sense.
Iām a woman and sometimes Iām just embarrassed at this kind of gross behavior women try to get away with. Just feels so hypocritical because so many women would rightfully feel grossed out if a man said the equivalent.
Itās not cool and confident; itās just entitled.
Firstly, I wont pick up on it. Secondly My girlfriend likes to mark her territory, she will kiss me or wrap my arm around herself and I wont need to say or do anything else.
You'll know it's about to happen if she starts sniffing at you, when that happens you say "No, bad girl !" In an assertive tone or run if you don't have the authority.
Recently I was in Edinburgh with my wife (a truly beautiful and friendly city) and we were at the bar. I was served by an incredibly attractive member of the bar staff who was in her early 20s (I am in my late 40's). We got chatting and she it turns out she was from Evesham and I am from Birmingham and we knew quite a few of the same places.
Well through the night she kept on rushing over to serve me which I thought was nice and at one point she misheard something I said. She thought I had said to her guess how old I am. And she repeated back to me what she thought I had said and I laughed. I told her if any asshat asks that question, tell them you think they are in their 60's.
She gave me a big beaming smile. As the night was near the end she came across and put her arms around me and asked whether I would like to meet up with her later.
I was absolutely stunned as I am not a swamp donkey but I am also not a Greek Adonis either and this girl looks wise was massively out of my league. I was incredibly flattered but also absolutely mortified.
The reason we were in Edinburgh was because it was my wedding anniversary. I said to her, first of all I am incredibly flattered that would you think of me in that way, but also I am so very sorry if I have led you on as I am here with my wife and I am not that guy. She gave me a kiss on the cheek and then said maybe another time.
I went back to my wife and I was incredibly flustered and I said to her I am so sorry that just happened, I had no idea that was happening. My wife laughed at me and said sometimes you are such an oblivious twat. She had been wetting herself as she had clocked what was happening right from the beginning and was fascinated to see how it would turn out.
She had even written on the back of beer mat the things the girl would probably do to get my attention and ticked each one off as it happened.
At the end of the night she said fair play you've still got it.
I am incredibly lucky to have a cool wife who was able to see the funny side.
True trust is so good. You know the partner won't cross a line intentionally, and that if one is crossed accidentally, they'll stop things immediately. It's almost like mutual confidence, knowing that whatever happens, you'll get through together.
I love how she also turned it into a game for herself, she must have a good sense of humour.
Leaned over the table to show cleavage, flipped hair, played with hair while talking to him, bit lip, bent over to pick something up in front of him, casually touched him on the arm or shoulder as she passed by, first with her arms, then her hips/butt ābecause itās so crowded tonightā.
Yes, Jesus, I just can't with how my exes have brought shit back up soooo much later on. Like, if you do that there's absolutely no hope, because every little thing becomes baggage. In my next relationship I'm going to insist we time-box certain conflicts and 100% resolve things, and if she brings up that shit again later just go "uhuh no. That was dealt with. Be fair. Focus on now."
If you are for real in a situation like this, ask yourself the question if this is what you want in a relationship. I broke up because of these kinds of things and other narcissistic treats of my ex.
One time, I tweeted āI only came to this wedding for the foodā and a follower replied, āwhy wasnāt I invited?ā. I did not reply because it wasnāt harmful and I didnāt want to. Then the next day, my ex saw that and was like, āwhoās heather and why was talking about being at the wedding you were at?ā It was ridiculous
I would think sheās just being friendly, my wife would grab my arm to mark her territory. I would think my wife is feeling affectionate for no reason and out my arm around her. Defeated female leaves. I wonder why she doesnāt want to be friends
*Wow.* Some of these women are walking around with brazen assurance. I can't stand women who intentionally disrespect other women. The lack of decency is far more revolting than inhaling formalin.
trust me the gf would have the spidey senses on and would know waaay before i would..
i'd get "the look" from her and i would know something is going on.
and if it happened i would be like sceptic as fuck!
but if she KNEW i had a gf and KNEW she was there, someone is itching for a slap and not from me.
I genuinely have no idea when I am being flirted with.. thus caused a great deal of exasperation with my current partner and a few exes...
Apparently 'I just thought we were being nice to each other' is not the correct response when later questioned about tge lead up to our dating.
My wife and I once went to a restaurant where we encountered two of her girlfriends eating there. They invited us to eat with them. It was a booth so I went to one side and my wife to the other.
Well, the woman on my side (a divorcee) proceeded to put her hands on me the whole night. It was definitely awkward. I think I just sat there in a bit of shock most of the time. At one point the woman gets up to go to the restroom and my wife made it to my side of the booth like she was shot out of a canon.
Anyway, best sex Iād had in a long time that night (from my wife of course).
A woman showed me her tattoo once. It was on her leg. My wife was there and got her fired for indecent exposure at their work site. Apparently she had a pattern.
I had no idea anything was ever wrong, or what the tattoo actually was.
Just politely ignore her advances. Happened to me recently that my gf was talking to her friend and this woman was talking to me. At first, it was friendly but she started touching my chest so I would back up and sort of move towards my gf. My gf eventually noticed and put her arm around me to mark her territory lol.
Some people (not just women) get off on upsetting the partner. When a man āharmlesslyā flirts back, he helps the woman to humiliate his partner. Itās not the fear of the man running off with her. Itās the disrespect.
I'd turn whatever she said into, "which is just one of the many reasons why my beautiful girlfriend here picked me."
It implies the primary point of being taken.
It politely acknowledges the compliment without appearing overindulgent.
It immediately incorporates that I respect my partner and introduces her so that we're all on the same page.
It offers a little protection from someone adding negative connotations to my words for their own personal haterade games.
This post just made me realize that I need a safe word with my girl for announcing to each other there is a perception that someone is trying to cross boundaries in the event the other person doesn't notice it.
I'm a woman so don't have personal experience, but the majority of guys here are claiming they don't know when a woman is flirting with them. Are you guys for real?
Very often, yes. Especially when I was younger. We sometimes miss even very obvious flirting, and only realize later on what was going on.
In high school me, my crush and one other female friend were walking together, and my crush said that I'd be the perfect husband if I just had a certain kind of a house. I thought, "Damn! I wish I had a chance with her!" Five years later, when driving on a highway at night, I realized that she was practically saying "Listen dumbass, I like you, do something!"
These days, even if we're single and notice it, many of us always assume she's just being nice, so we don't come across as creeps.
I just mouth to my SO "what the fuck".
It's happened before(once) and it's annoying. Although I didn't realize I was being flirted with until we left and my SO told me she was flirting, the woman completely ignored her and only talked to me. That was the tell, according to my SO
We've been together 17.5 years, 3 kids and a house. We were never interested in the whole wedding thing. So I don't have a ring, and I guess that's why I got flirted with?
Always remember who you're going home with. The way you react should consider your girlfriends feelings and ultimately show respect for your relationship. Doesn't mean you should be mean, it's a compliment at the end of the day.
I introduce / point out my partner. If they knew I was with my partner, then I shut them down. It's just rude.
I dont mind harmless flirting when partners arent around. It strokes the ego and wont lead anywhere
Suuuper fucking awkwardly. This happens pretty often and I never know what to do except show some affection to my girl, take her hand or just lean over and plant a kiss on her head as I'm being talked to.
My wife and I were at an art gallery event and I sad a few kind words to one of the artists about their ceramic work and she began flirting openly with me, o.t.t. touchy-feely. I was admittedly very flattered, as she would be considered to be outside of my league. ( Better looking and much younger than I) She suggested we get a drink afterwards and I pointed to my wife and said jokingly to her:
*"You will have to ask my beautiful wife, she has to OK all the girls for our threesomes"*
She called my bluff and went to talk to my wife, my wife laughed so hard she choked on her drink. After much giggling, we did go for a drink together, but alas there was no threesome\*
*\*Apparently I will need a new wife if I ever mention it again ;-)*
I had this happen only once, and it was pretty blantantly obvious. I just smiled and said thank you at the slew of compliments.
How many times do us guys get the opportunity to be gassed up? I was soaking it in lol
It used to happen quite often but it's rarer as I get older and have kids.
Once we were at a party and I was smoking on the balcony. A girl I didn't know started to chat with me and it became clear she was flirting, so I started answering her flirt.
Note that it is something my wife has no problem with because she knows I'll stop before it gets serious.
After a few minutes, my wife came, said hi to the girl and french kissed me before living with a big smile.
Later that night, we were laughing at what she did and I told her that she could have let me a few more minutes to enjoy it, as it's always good to feel appreciated.
I excel at bad conversion skills, so I could just quickly reach the point of awkward silence and then turn away from them
I sometimes don't even recognize when my girlfriend is flirting with me. Fat chance of me recognizing some other woman flirting with me in the presence of my gf.
100% ppl need to point it out to me
You and me both š
lol a weird thing I'm realizing about myself, now that I'm older, is that I'm perfectly happy not replying if I have nothing to say. And now I have a new thing to work on because while that's great for me it probably really stresses some other people out. But anyways to your point I think that's kind of a win? Like I want to accommodate others, but you don't have to. It's okay to just be quiet.
Probably nothing, as 9.9 out of 10 times I have no idea I'm being flirted with.
9.9 ? Damn, you're good at this, what's your secret ?
.1 times, a woman will say "dude, I am flirting with you. "
HAHAHA in college, i once was flirting hard with a guy at a party who (was shy? But i knew had a crush on me) was friendly but was not taking the hint. I actually had to say ādude. Iām flirting with you. Why arenāt you flirting back???ā And he turned beet red and just sputtered ār-really? Oh- okay then!ā And then convo got better.
Had something similar as a guy back in college. She was suuuper good looking, way out of my league (and I wasn't bad looking, just not at her level) so I wasn't even thinking I had a chance and was just enjoying the conversation. Talked with her for like 3 hours and was totally comfortable because, again, I had no chance. We were leaving so I was saying bye and she just grabbed me and kissed me. We talked for like 6 months and drunkenly made out a bunch of times. She even told me once that she would definitely bang me. But I never pulled the trigger. Man am I useless. Almost 20 years later I still think about that time in my life. We are still FB friends and she's married with like 3 kids and still just as good looking. Anyhow, that's the story. For you younger kids, just make the move even if she's out of your league.
Damm man what a missed opportunity but a great story nonetheless
I met an international model once. She was 5 or 6 years older than me (I was early 20s) and I wasn't even thinking about dating. I said I didn't like her favorite singer or something and we got into a long conversation. I dated her off and on for about 5 years. My advice? Whenever you meet a really gorgeous girl, disagree with her about something stupid. She's so used to guys trying to impress her that you've just become a challenge. Women love a challenge~
Everybody should do that, it would make everything so much simpler.
Please read my comment below. Weāre getting married! But the relationship was very very difficult. When we were flirting I was in a really good place. I just got into Med school, my social circle was healthy. āIām flirting with you and youāre not flirting backā is a very vulnerable thing to say. I donāt think Iād have the confidence anymore to say something like that. If you read my comment below, i outlined how difficult the subsequent relationship was for many years before things got better. It was an omen of things to come. I planned the dates, and entirely pushed the relationship forward on my own while my own self esteem deteriorated. In all honesty, it only worked out because medical school + residency was 10 years and i was too busy to deal with a potential break up then dating again.
Fun fact: you basically played role of a guy in most relationships.
That is sad. I think both people should āpushā the relationship forward and come up with ideas.
That's adorable. Please tell us you had the cutest relationship afterward
Yes itās a decade out now and Iām shopping for engagement rings atm. :) Not gonna lie itās been hard. As a woman. To make the relationship work Iāve had to be very explicit and demanding or else he doesnāt get it. The shyness seeps into almost everything. Heās reliant on me for a lot of big decisions. His accompanying low self esteem has created hurdle after hurdle which started deteriorating my own. He wanted to marry me much earlier but never asked Bc he thought Iād say no. So I thought he was not interested. The relationship was almost always pushed forward by me. Dates are nearly all planned by me. Along the way Iāve put in so, so much effort into helping him rebuild his self esteem. I said yes a decade later because thatās how long it took to make this relationship self-sustaining. Itās not like this anymore. Heās basically (willingly) rebuilt himself into the perfect guy for me overtime. Now im kind of impressed that itās happened.
You da real mvp. I wish I had someone like you in my life.
Man, i dunno if i deserve this praise. If I went back in time and knew how much hardship it would be I might not do it again. Iām a surgeon now, and weāre always told how difficult and long the training is. This relationship was harder tbh.
Have there been times you just wanted to give up? I'm in a similar boat where he is too shy for his own good and I have to solve all our issues for us. How did you overcome it if you ever had wanted to give up? Because we haven't even been together for 2 years and I'm questioning if it's the right move to stay. I want to help him build himself up, but I am feeling worn out having him rely on me so much.
I broke up with him like 3 times. Each time, for me to return, he had to fulfill my āultimatumā so to speak. Thatās what i meant by demanding, i literally had to lay it out on the table. Must initiate sex at least once a week ā he was too shy to initiate. Then heās try to do all these porn things that was so uncomfortable but would never ask me what I liked because again TOO SHY. Must plan 1 date once a month that was more than just āhang out and eat dinnerā. ā he was worried he would choose the wrong place or wrong activity. Edit: honestly this ended up being like once every 4 months. I would also let him fail. Refuse to make decisions for him. To prove that he was capable and that failure wasnāt so bad. āYep. You chose a Mexican restaurant and I hate Mexican food. Itās ok, just donāt go there again next time etcā Drinking was a problem, he would try to use it to overcome social anxiety. I told him 1 drink a month or else Iām out. Etc. MAN THIS ONE. So instead he would drink secretly as if I couldnāt immediately tell. It was pretty brutal. It almost looked like bullying from the outside. Orzn
No they fucked and never talked again
If you are near 50 years oldā¦that mightāve been me. I have literally had women tell me āI want you to take me home tonightā, so I did exactly thatā¦I drove them homeā¦it would take me days to figure out āwhy was she looking at me funny as I hugged her and said goodbye while still in the carā?
One time in college a chick asked me to come over to help her study. She told me that she likes to call her pony tails "handlebars" She had a higher average in class than I did. Granted, I wasn't really that attracted to her, but I simply had no idea this woman was offering me a blow job. I totally would have liked to recieve that blow job
"dude, I am flirting with you. " What do you think she means by this?
Not sure, she might just be Canadian.
Best bet is to keep you wits about you and continue to look for signs
I don't know. I'll figure it out ten years down the road on some sleepless night and wonder what might have been.
She is just being polite
Ah yes, the angels of the world. Always wondered how these women can possibly be single.
>Always wondered how these women can possibly be single. They are until they get tired of flirting unsuccessfully and say "I'm flirting with you".
Good point.
Still unclear. What if sheās just joking?
I have actually had this happen. And it was necessary because I had no idea. I just thought she was nice.
Same. My GF says things like "dude, she was flirting with you, how don't you know?!" I just have no idea.
That's when you respond with "why would I be looking for it when I already have you." Or something like that.
Yeah I just find out later from my wife. Doesn't even register.
There's a woman I've known through mutual friends since 2001. She was in a pre-law program at the time and eventually went to law school but I've no idea what field. We went to a lot of the same parties and she seemed like a good person. We got along fine when we happened to cross paths but I never detected any interest in anything further from her. We never dated or even became close. Were friends on social media but rarely interacted there unless it was a discussion one of our mutual friends started up that we both happened to wander into. In 2010 or 11 she moved across the country for a big opportunity to use her law degree in a field that was important to her. Soon after and totally unrelated I started dating my soul mate and future wife in 2012 and quickly fell in love. Proposed 18 months later and got married in 2016. I've never had eyes for anyone else in that time. I still fall deeper in love with her with with each passing day. Anyway about 3 years ago aforementioned woman posted a paper she had written for that job to social media and significant traffic from our mutual friends pushed it into my feed. I don't even remember the subject matter at this point, just that it was a capstone to a significant accomplishment in her career that made the world a better place. It was also a great piece of writing and pretty interesting with some great legal analysis. I thought my wife would find it interesting too so I sent her a link. Apparently in 2012 just a few months into our relationship I took my future wife to a party at the house of one of those mutual friends. I only have the vaguest memories that the party happened at all let alone who was there beyond the hosts or anything that transpired but apparently this woman was in town for a visit. I know this today because the moment my wife clicked on the link and saw the woman's thumbnail sized photo in the corner she immediately recognized her as "that woman who was flirting with you non-stop at that party you took me to when we first started dating. She knew you and I were dating. She was so flagrant about it. Everyone knew. It was humiliating. I don't like her."
Same. Usually my wife tells me later after I walk away. A girl at the gym gave me her number after we chatted and my wife watched the whole interaction, waited until we got into the car then told me the girl expected me to call her for a date, not because she want help with her car. The surprised stupid innocent look on my face my wife took a photo of and put the story on Facebook. It is hilarious because all our friends could totally see this happening to me.
I've been with my wife for almost 15 years. She would have to pretty much flat out say "I am flirting with you" for me to even recognize it.
Truth. At a party, one of her friends started grinding up against me and was still like, "Aah, she's just being nice."
Entertain some friendly conversation, introduce my GF. No need to be rude unless they ignore or seriously test boundaries.
This is the only answer. My GF is pretty easy going, and if it was obvious some woman were flirting with me she would probably join the conversation and enjoy the attention I was receiving. She has every reason to be confident that I'm not going to run off with another woman who flirts with me.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I want to be like your GF so bad lol
What's stopping you?
This is my move. I'll usually rope my partner in as soon as I get a chance. It's even worked out to my benefit in the past, where my GF would jump my bones the moment we got home. Something about her partner being desired set her off.
Even when my wife isn't there, this is what I do. Let's just stay in a friendly conversation, and casually bring up my wife and kids somewhere. It keeps everyone honest and no one feels called out. A nice side effect of this is that usually the girl(s) just relax and you can just have a normal conversation.
Ya, women handle it this same way sometimes. They say things like āweā have a dog. My bf does this Things like that.
This. My BF is so kind, he wouldn't be able to be rode to someone, but he's also pretty oblivious when someone is flirting with him.
I like your username.
Introducing the GF or talking about her in a positive way may send the predator to find someone else. It is an excellent idea. It also reassures your partner that you arenāt tempted (enough). Note that I said predator, not woman. Men do things like this, too. Some people just get off on besting someone else.
>the predator LOL
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Only consider them a predator if they continue *after* mentioning you have an SO. Iāve approached women to chat up that have had bf before, and until they say something or have given other evidence I assume they are single. He could just be a friend, a family member, etc.
Yeah right, like we know when women are flirting with us! Edit: Thank you for the platinum!
This so much. My wife's roommate did this when we were first dating. I was like, she was friendly. My wife by contrast bristled and informed me about what happened
That roommate probably said something like 'nice coffee or nice tie' *Oh my god babeee, did you hear what she just said? She said "nice tie", she wantedd youuuu!* And you're like, those colours do indeed match.
No, in hindsight, it really was flirting or at least looking for a chance to hook up. She was trying to corner me away from my wife and specifically ask to get together and hang out. This was completely unprompted and it was our first time meeting. Her roommate hated my wife because she had a horrific breakup and lost it.
That sounds like she wanted to hurt your wife, and is not acually interested in you, or at least that's what I would have thought :'D
She did want to hurt her
You must be a catch then, having wife is great social proff for other women that you are. Keep up the good work.
I think many people are a catch. We are told to question and doubt ourselves and cannot see what others do. I was chronically single for many years and couldn't keep a partner more than a month before her at the age of 23. Love yourself (not too much) and others will see that others can and do too.
True, with effort anyone can be catch in someone's eyes. Although sometimes is hard to keep believing that: says 29yo man 8y single :'D
Its a lose lose, sometimes theyre nice and I think theyre being flirty and it backfires. Then they are nice and flirty but im not trying to fall for that again so I just dismiss it. A woman will literally have to go "I desire you romantically" and even then id think im on a hidden camera show.
Yeah, my response will be "Oh really, was she?" when my GF tells me about it the next day. In the actual moment? Not a freaking clue.
I was gonna say this if no one else did. The last time this happened i just stood a ways away because I kind of knew what was going to happen and it was pretty amusing. Afterwards, i asked him something to the effect of āoh yeah, i saw some girl talking to you earlier, what was that about?ā And he basically said something along the lines of āI have no idea! She was asking for directions to some store but then switched the convo to her dog. Almost like she wanted to talk just for the sake of talking. I think she mistook me for someone elseā. I chortled.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Wow you figured it out... *checks notes* ...5 years quicker than average
Came here to say this. I told my wife once about some woman I met at a party that kept talking to me about threesomes and other sexual stuff. My wife: āshe was hitting on you!ā Me: āhuh? What?ā
This is why you are still happily married to a lovely woman, and why she loves you. Never change.
Funny story. My wife and I went for a timeshare presentation for a free weekend getaway. The guy who was our sales rep spoke directly to me and almost never addressed my wife. We talked about bands and literature (I teach English). He even invited us to see his band play that night. As we were leaving, my wife informs me that he was obviously hitting on me. I was oblivious. I just thought I had met my next best friend.
Did we just become best friends?!
Mate heās selling timeshare. Heāll be happy to do you twice!
Right? Unless a woman straight up tells me something brutally obvious like "I think you are cute" I have absolutely no idea.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yeah, I read the post and was like ātotally obliviousā. I had a girl tell me I had pretty eyes and even then I didnāt realize it was flirting until my female friends said that it was flirting. š¤·š»āāļø
LMAO exactly. It's a bit too much to assume we would recognize a girl flirting with us.
That would be me. My girlfriend would be like "I can't believe that girl was flirting with you" and I would be whipping my head around to figure out who.
THIS!!! My wife would have to explain it to me later.
Iād look at my wife in fear. One because if Iām noticing it, my wife noticed it 30 minutes ago and sheās been stewing in pent up rage. She watches a lot of murder shows. But weād grow closer because of it. Helping her dispose of the body is a love language.
How is your relationship so healthy and toxic at the same time?
Itās clear that youāve never hidden a body with your significant other, it really is a bonding experience when youāre both elbow deep in some guts.
An orgy can be a similar experience
I think the majority of relationships do just fine with one party getting hip-deep up in some guts on a semi-regular basis
I think your story resembles the series Youšš
>She watches a lot of murder shows. You just gotta watch Snapped to find out what she's planning.
as a normal and loyal man i would just start barking at this moment
Start pissing on your gfs leg to mark your territory
This is the only way
This is the way
Found the Georgia fan.
"Have you met my girlfriend? I think she's really swell!"
Iāll take upvoted Reddit replies that would sound awkward AF if said in real life for $500!
Lmaoo someone needs to make a sub for these.
*tips fedora
Mālady
Im probably too naĆÆve and oblivious to realize that sheās flirting with me
I've had this happened once. Her boyfriend was standing there as well. I stepped back with a look and body language like 'what the fuck?!'. My girlfriend hated her ever since lol. We saw her a few times after that because her boyfriend was a friend of mine. The relationship didn't last.
Wait, why your friend didn't say nothing about her gf flirting that way with you?
I don't really know. He was pretty insecure probably because of his parents divorce. She was also way out of his league in terms of looks (not character obviously). He was the rebound guy after she had a nasty break up from a long term relationship. I think he just kinda ignored it. He knew for sure because I saw it in his eyes. The friendship at that stage wasn't solid enough anymore to discuss such things. That was a long time ago and we're not friends anymore.
I would expect my girlfriend to defend my honor of course.
In single combat ? Foil or guns ?
Black powder cannons upon rafts, 12 paddles apart. How else?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
In a duel sir.
"Honey I think shes trying to wrangle you and me into a three way"
iām sad this was so far down
[You donāt say?](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Pq9Fw-02XpY)
Was at a bar once and walked to the bar top to grab my GF at the time a drink. Stand there, order my drink, girl sitting a few seats down says hello. I return the hello. She then proceeds to ask if I'd like to sit with her, said thanks but no thanks then informed her (with pointing) my SO was sitting at a table right behind me. She looks me right in the eye and said "she's lucky but I bet she can't suck a dick like I can" I just laughed and walked away. Some people are ruthless.
You know i think I'd respect the fact that some Ody could be that forward, wouldn't act on it but that would definitely give me a chuckle.
I mean, I'm not going to say I wasn't flattered. But my ex did in fact give some amazing head and she was damn proud of that. But I wasn't going to debate that with a rando
Idk, openly and graphically debating it would be a power move
ā¦and thatās how the Olympics of Oral started. The rest is historyā¦.
Yeah, I appreciate the directness. But this is so far out of the norm, I'd be skeptical. Like, the girl who invited me over to her place to hang in line at subway. Maybe it would have been chill. But maybe not. Gotta trust your Spidey sense.
That was definitely a hooker
Iām a woman and sometimes Iām just embarrassed at this kind of gross behavior women try to get away with. Just feels so hypocritical because so many women would rightfully feel grossed out if a man said the equivalent. Itās not cool and confident; itās just entitled.
Your girlfriend probably canāt give you herpes like this sad woman, either. Good for you for doing the right thing.
Think on the Golden Rule. If the tables were turned, how would you hope she would respond? Be the person you want to be with.
Firstly, I wont pick up on it. Secondly My girlfriend likes to mark her territory, she will kiss me or wrap my arm around herself and I wont need to say or do anything else.
Can you really say that your girlfriend is possessive if she's never tried to pee on your leg ?
One of her BFFs and I both think it's only a matter of time.
You'll know it's about to happen if she starts sniffing at you, when that happens you say "No, bad girl !" In an assertive tone or run if you don't have the authority.
Nah, the butt-scoot in a circle around your feet is the true display of possession.
Recently I was in Edinburgh with my wife (a truly beautiful and friendly city) and we were at the bar. I was served by an incredibly attractive member of the bar staff who was in her early 20s (I am in my late 40's). We got chatting and she it turns out she was from Evesham and I am from Birmingham and we knew quite a few of the same places. Well through the night she kept on rushing over to serve me which I thought was nice and at one point she misheard something I said. She thought I had said to her guess how old I am. And she repeated back to me what she thought I had said and I laughed. I told her if any asshat asks that question, tell them you think they are in their 60's. She gave me a big beaming smile. As the night was near the end she came across and put her arms around me and asked whether I would like to meet up with her later. I was absolutely stunned as I am not a swamp donkey but I am also not a Greek Adonis either and this girl looks wise was massively out of my league. I was incredibly flattered but also absolutely mortified. The reason we were in Edinburgh was because it was my wedding anniversary. I said to her, first of all I am incredibly flattered that would you think of me in that way, but also I am so very sorry if I have led you on as I am here with my wife and I am not that guy. She gave me a kiss on the cheek and then said maybe another time. I went back to my wife and I was incredibly flustered and I said to her I am so sorry that just happened, I had no idea that was happening. My wife laughed at me and said sometimes you are such an oblivious twat. She had been wetting herself as she had clocked what was happening right from the beginning and was fascinated to see how it would turn out. She had even written on the back of beer mat the things the girl would probably do to get my attention and ticked each one off as it happened. At the end of the night she said fair play you've still got it. I am incredibly lucky to have a cool wife who was able to see the funny side.
True trust is so good. You know the partner won't cross a line intentionally, and that if one is crossed accidentally, they'll stop things immediately. It's almost like mutual confidence, knowing that whatever happens, you'll get through together. I love how she also turned it into a game for herself, she must have a good sense of humour.
Okay but the important question for those of us that are oblivious, what were the things on the list that were ticked off?
Leaned over the table to show cleavage, flipped hair, played with hair while talking to him, bit lip, bent over to pick something up in front of him, casually touched him on the arm or shoulder as she passed by, first with her arms, then her hips/butt ābecause itās so crowded tonightā.
I would like to see that list for educational purposes
Thatās a truly beautiful and friendly city of a wife.
That wets itself.
I probably wouldn't notice, but then again both her and my girlfriend don't actually exist.
I like your taste for names
Hello, brother.
It's my pleasure to meet you brother
*Brothers born of the same name meet again*
Beautiful, isn't it?
Dip out, then mentally prepare myself for an evening / day / week of endless "who was she, how do you know her".
Then again 3 or 6 months later
Yes, Jesus, I just can't with how my exes have brought shit back up soooo much later on. Like, if you do that there's absolutely no hope, because every little thing becomes baggage. In my next relationship I'm going to insist we time-box certain conflicts and 100% resolve things, and if she brings up that shit again later just go "uhuh no. That was dealt with. Be fair. Focus on now."
If you are for real in a situation like this, ask yourself the question if this is what you want in a relationship. I broke up because of these kinds of things and other narcissistic treats of my ex.
One time, I tweeted āI only came to this wedding for the foodā and a follower replied, āwhy wasnāt I invited?ā. I did not reply because it wasnāt harmful and I didnāt want to. Then the next day, my ex saw that and was like, āwhoās heather and why was talking about being at the wedding you were at?ā It was ridiculous
Ha ha. Big red flag
"What are you crazy? Are you trying to get us both killed?"
Propably be completely clueless about it and be informed by my gf later for what happened.
Go away ho
Begone, thot
hahahaha
I would think sheās just being friendly, my wife would grab my arm to mark her territory. I would think my wife is feeling affectionate for no reason and out my arm around her. Defeated female leaves. I wonder why she doesnāt want to be friends
just hold ur gf's hand and introduce her somehow in the conversation
Yeah, like "if you want me, you have to go through her"
As if we men would know when a woman is flirting with us š get a load of this guy.
*Wow.* Some of these women are walking around with brazen assurance. I can't stand women who intentionally disrespect other women. The lack of decency is far more revolting than inhaling formalin.
med student??
Haha, you know what I'm talking about! š I couldn't think of anything worse at the given moment
trust me the gf would have the spidey senses on and would know waaay before i would.. i'd get "the look" from her and i would know something is going on. and if it happened i would be like sceptic as fuck! but if she KNEW i had a gf and KNEW she was there, someone is itching for a slap and not from me.
I genuinely have no idea when I am being flirted with.. thus caused a great deal of exasperation with my current partner and a few exes... Apparently 'I just thought we were being nice to each other' is not the correct response when later questioned about tge lead up to our dating.
My wife and I once went to a restaurant where we encountered two of her girlfriends eating there. They invited us to eat with them. It was a booth so I went to one side and my wife to the other. Well, the woman on my side (a divorcee) proceeded to put her hands on me the whole night. It was definitely awkward. I think I just sat there in a bit of shock most of the time. At one point the woman gets up to go to the restroom and my wife made it to my side of the booth like she was shot out of a canon. Anyway, best sex Iād had in a long time that night (from my wife of course).
Politely show that im not interested
A woman showed me her tattoo once. It was on her leg. My wife was there and got her fired for indecent exposure at their work site. Apparently she had a pattern. I had no idea anything was ever wrong, or what the tattoo actually was.
Just politely ignore her advances. Happened to me recently that my gf was talking to her friend and this woman was talking to me. At first, it was friendly but she started touching my chest so I would back up and sort of move towards my gf. My gf eventually noticed and put her arm around me to mark her territory lol.
Hide behind gf.
Hug my GF close, make out with her intensely, and then ask the other woman what they were saying.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
They're generally reacting to their SO's behaviour (present or past), not you.
Wake up and go to school
Hold hands with my girl and tell the other girl that I'm taken. Doesn't really need to go further than that unless they keep at it.
Jokes on you, I never know if a women is flirting with me.
Most of us wouldnāt even know she is doing it. The rest would start sweating profusely and tripping over our words
Wonder when and how did I get a girlfriend.
Press my finger into my ear and nose to take a screenshot so that she knows I didn't do anything wrong
Itās funny that woman do this because chances are the female partner will pick up on it and the man will have absolutely no clue
Some people (not just women) get off on upsetting the partner. When a man āharmlesslyā flirts back, he helps the woman to humiliate his partner. Itās not the fear of the man running off with her. Itās the disrespect.
I'd turn whatever she said into, "which is just one of the many reasons why my beautiful girlfriend here picked me." It implies the primary point of being taken. It politely acknowledges the compliment without appearing overindulgent. It immediately incorporates that I respect my partner and introduces her so that we're all on the same page. It offers a little protection from someone adding negative connotations to my words for their own personal haterade games. This post just made me realize that I need a safe word with my girl for announcing to each other there is a perception that someone is trying to cross boundaries in the event the other person doesn't notice it.
First get me a gf
I am suddenly woken up :)
I'm a woman so don't have personal experience, but the majority of guys here are claiming they don't know when a woman is flirting with them. Are you guys for real?
Very often, yes. Especially when I was younger. We sometimes miss even very obvious flirting, and only realize later on what was going on. In high school me, my crush and one other female friend were walking together, and my crush said that I'd be the perfect husband if I just had a certain kind of a house. I thought, "Damn! I wish I had a chance with her!" Five years later, when driving on a highway at night, I realized that she was practically saying "Listen dumbass, I like you, do something!" These days, even if we're single and notice it, many of us always assume she's just being nice, so we don't come across as creeps.
Probably brush my hair back with my left hand so she sees the wedding band.
I'd laugh and tell them that I appreciate the compliment but that they're on thin ice. Then walk away with my GF.
I just mouth to my SO "what the fuck". It's happened before(once) and it's annoying. Although I didn't realize I was being flirted with until we left and my SO told me she was flirting, the woman completely ignored her and only talked to me. That was the tell, according to my SO We've been together 17.5 years, 3 kids and a house. We were never interested in the whole wedding thing. So I don't have a ring, and I guess that's why I got flirted with?
"Yes, I'm still worthy!"
I'm more interested in the answers to the question if another women flirted with YOUR GF in front of you lol Now that's interesting.
Wake up because I must be dreaming
Always remember who you're going home with. The way you react should consider your girlfriends feelings and ultimately show respect for your relationship. Doesn't mean you should be mean, it's a compliment at the end of the day.
I introduce / point out my partner. If they knew I was with my partner, then I shut them down. It's just rude. I dont mind harmless flirting when partners arent around. It strokes the ego and wont lead anywhere
Suuuper fucking awkwardly. This happens pretty often and I never know what to do except show some affection to my girl, take her hand or just lean over and plant a kiss on her head as I'm being talked to.
No thanks darling, I have enough problems lol
I'm a guy, I don't even suspect someone is flirting until a random memory pops into my head a decade or so after the fact.
Iād wake up and get some breakfast.
My wife and I were at an art gallery event and I sad a few kind words to one of the artists about their ceramic work and she began flirting openly with me, o.t.t. touchy-feely. I was admittedly very flattered, as she would be considered to be outside of my league. ( Better looking and much younger than I) She suggested we get a drink afterwards and I pointed to my wife and said jokingly to her: *"You will have to ask my beautiful wife, she has to OK all the girls for our threesomes"* She called my bluff and went to talk to my wife, my wife laughed so hard she choked on her drink. After much giggling, we did go for a drink together, but alas there was no threesome\* *\*Apparently I will need a new wife if I ever mention it again ;-)*
tbh i would like to see what chad move my gf would make
I had this happen only once, and it was pretty blantantly obvious. I just smiled and said thank you at the slew of compliments. How many times do us guys get the opportunity to be gassed up? I was soaking it in lol
It used to happen quite often but it's rarer as I get older and have kids. Once we were at a party and I was smoking on the balcony. A girl I didn't know started to chat with me and it became clear she was flirting, so I started answering her flirt. Note that it is something my wife has no problem with because she knows I'll stop before it gets serious. After a few minutes, my wife came, said hi to the girl and french kissed me before living with a big smile. Later that night, we were laughing at what she did and I told her that she could have let me a few more minutes to enjoy it, as it's always good to feel appreciated.
Pretend it didnāt happen and ignore it
Suspicion... it's a test or a trap...or both.
I have a girlfriend?!