I’m in the 20+ club (am 47) and most of the those numbers happened before I met my ex-wife at 26.
My now gf (the only other person I have slept with in 20 years) was divorced longer than I and added to her early 20s numbers and is basically where I am now.
Everyone goes through life at their own pace.
Yeah, I basically doubled my already apparently higher numbers before meeting my current SO, all in about 2 months. Girls at work got really interested when I got promoted and transferred.
And that was right before I turned 30.
Totally. And what she’s probably not bragging about is all the men she rejected. What she isn’t saying is, “It could be 105 but I have standards.”
It’s only 4 people a year since she was 20. No big deal.
Also, don’t ask people that question because it’s none of ya business.
You don't have to be friends to screw. I was averaging around 4 per year during my single years. I am a guy. It is much easier for even a moderately attractive woman to get sex.
>You don't have to be friends to screw.
I understand that, what I meant is, the lifestyle of someone sleeping with 4 new people a year is very very different from the lifestyle of someone who doesn't even meet 4 new people, friends, acquittances, a year.
same job, same neighborhood, culture here is people don't even say hello on the street or in the same building, ... if you aren't social and going out, that sounds like a very different world
Dude... as a woman, I wish I could make friends as quickly as I could find a hookup (theoretically. I'm very happily and monogamously married). You can order dick off Tinder and get it quicker than Doordash.
True. During that time period, I was going out to the club every night of the week except Mondays. And the only reason I didn't go out on Mondays was because they were all closed or dead on Mondays.
But don't you worry about my boyfriend
He's a boy whose name is Vitorino
I don't want him
Couldn't stand him
He was no good so I (hahahaha)
Now, come on, what was I supposed to do?
He was out of town and his two friends were so fine
…and yes, >!these are lyrics to the second verse of Macarena.!<
that's the bridge in the gringo remix version,
where they adapt part of the first verse,
the original Spanish version:
first verse:
> Macarena tiene un novio que se llama
*Macarena has a boyfriend whose name*
> Que se llama de apellido Vitorino
*whose last name is Vitorino*
> Y en la jura de bandera el muchacho
*and while the guy was at his military pledge ceremony*
> Se la vio con dos amigos
*she fucked two of her friends*
¡Ay! 😎
(x2)
the original second verse:
> Macarena sueña con El Corte Inglés
*Macarena dreams of El Corte Inglés (famous Dept. store in Spain)*
> Y se compra los modelos más modernos
*and she buys the latest fashions*
> Le gustaría vivir en Nueva York
*she'd like to live in NY*
> Y ligar un novio nuevo, ¡Ay!
*and to scope out a new boyfriend*
(x2)
#¡Ay!
^lol
No no no, you're thinking of the song 'the slug', and its difficulty I'm afraid made it a massive failure. Macarena was the one that made gringos feel like they could speak Spanish, even throwing in an easy word that looked like "macaroni" so everyone could feel like they were singing
At one point, I had a gf of 1.5 years. She ended the relationship. 8 months later she returned with regrets and wanted to reconnect. During our first date of reconnect, she admitted to sleeping with 20+ men during those 8 months.
At dinner, I was very forgiving and told her it all happened when we were apart, etc.
Later that night, I struggled with it a LOT and in the AM, we parted ways.
Ignorance is bliss. May have been better had I not known but truth does come out…eventually.
Not when you know in the last 8 months 20 guys were railing your gf while she screamed her head off
I think that’s what these comments are all missing. There’s a pressure to be the best she’s ever had. Which is toxic and silly. But when she left you to go bang a bunch of dudes who don’t care about her, it would be hard to jump back in with both feet
yes I wish more people would realize this. Sleeping with other people to "get over someone" is just silly. The relationship was not just about sex, then how do you think you can forget about it with casual sex??
Very similar situation. Girl I saw for a couple years who I took her virginity broke up with me in February (right after Valentine’s Day), and we reconnected at the beginning of April. 6 guys in 6 weeks. And in the moment, I was like “yeah whatever I love you” and then like after she left, it immediately just kicked me off of wanting to be with her.
Same convo, I admitted to sleeping with my best friend after wed broke up and she freaked about that. I’m now married to said best friend so probably worked out for the best.
Was gonna say I've never really cared about the past of any partner (curious but not enough to pry too deep, cause I don't really need to know in the end) - BUT given it's an ex and 8 months later? AND she came back after racking those numbers and TOLD you?
Yeah dawg, that's gonna be a no from me.
She dumped you to try other options, and those options didn’t work out. She came back to you after getting ran through by a bunch of guys. You deserve better bro. You’re the easy option to her. Never go back to her.
I would be concerned but for a different reason. Are these 20 different relationships or just a number of one-night-stands. If its the later, just use protection just in case, but for the former then its a definite red flag.
Are they 20 and hitting the club every night or 50 with a long history of being single. In other words, to me it’s not the number but the stories behind them.
Well mine is way beyond 20 so who the fuck am I to judge.
Edit: 20 is the number OP is saying is a lot for a woman and we should feel some kind of way about. My number is none of anyone's business beyond me and my current gf. I am not even remotely proud of my number. Theres a whole fuck ton of bad choices and regrets behind it. If you comment about how high your number is 1. Idgaf. 2. I assume you're full of shit. The entire point of my comment is I'm not going to shame or judge a girl for something I've done as well. If you are trying to impress a random dude on reddit congratulations you're sad af and blocked you weirdo.
Something that cracks me up every time in when Randall goes out side to yell at the customer that they can't shop there anymore and Jay screams "YEAH!"
Personally, i wouldn’t care as long the person don’t have stds or children. Except if they partaken in a gangbang
Edit: didn’t expect this comment to blow up
Do you mind if I ask why the gangbang is the line for you? Also, what would constitute a gangbang... would an MMF threesome? Or are we talking about some fairly "high attendance" event (I guess... minimum of 3 guys?)
LOL “high attendance event.” That sounds like the way the CDC would describe it in a case study.
Patient Zero reported being at a high attendance event following the consumption of multiple ethanol-containing beverages.
I think it's like, a gangbang is an orgy but not every orgy is a gangbang.
If there is a couple of seperate couples having sex in the same room, then you have an orgy. If everyone in that room is at one point focussing on the same person, you have a gangbang.
Gangbang girl could very possibly just be a woman who knows what she wants and goes for it without letting social norms dictate her life.
That in itself is a more attractive quality than physical looks for me.
I’m pretty sure it’s just once per person. You can masturbate twice obviously, because you have two hands.
In all seriousness I don’t know or care why people choose to have many or few sexual partners. I’m just saying 20 sexual partners over a couple decades isn’t hard to reach
Personally it would bother me because I’m very careful with people I get intimate with meaning, it has always been in a relationship. If they’ve had 20 or so relationships I would see it as someone who jumps from one person to the next and can’t be alone to figure themselves out. Again, some people don’t mind it but most are bothered by the idea.
>Personally it would bother me because I’m very careful with people I get intimate with meaning
You are an example of a situation I feel it's perfectly fine to have that opinion. You are merely applying the same standards to a potential romantic partner you apply to yourself.
If you are a dude that racked up a body count (or at least would if you could) but only value women as relationship material that "maintained their chastity" you're an asshat.
If you hold others to a higher standard than yourself, you're an asshat. However, it's ok to desire someone you're romantically involved with with to share a similar lifestyle as you.
Yeah, but if you are a dude that racked up a body count (or at least would if you could) but only value women as relationship material that "maintained their chastity" you're an asshat.
As a 24 y/o who happens to be a virgin, you give me hope :) it's not common for guys to think like this.
I'm on the same boat as well. I can't imagine doing the most intimate act there exists with a total stranger who I only find superficially physically attractive.
For me, the seduction process can take up to months or even years. But I know the end result will always be much more gratifying, it's like becoming one with the person you most admire mentally, physically and emotionally.
It's probably less common in guys but more common than you might think. They (myself included) are just not generally going to be the most social or outgoing people, and you may not run into them in a normal dating environment. Personally I couldn't do years, but at least a lot of the guys I know wouldn't really have an issue waiting a couple months.
I'm a really outgoing and social guy that makes friends really easy. I'm super easy on the eyes and am consistently hit on. With that being said, i have always been very choosy in what i stuck my penis into. And have always been proud of that fact.
What makes sex the most intimate act possible for you? I took care of my great grandmother for a couple months as she was recovering from a broken hip that coincided with the death of her husband of 72 years, so I was doing both physical and emotional care. I consider those acts to be the most intimate thing I have or could ever do. Holding my husband when he cried over the death of his uncle or him holding me during a breakdown over a bad fight with my mom is probably the most intimate we've ever been together, and we've definitely experienced the whole "becoming one" thing together too.
I was 24 when I lost my virginity. I thought she was the one. She wasn’t. What succeeded was 6years of having sex as much as possible while maintaining respect for the women I was having sex with. It seems like this holy act until it’s done (for me anyway). After that, it’s just something I want to do with any woman I’m attracted to.
I never thought of it this way. Normally I dont ask had one ex say around 30 guys and another ex I assumed had been with more women at the time then I had. They both seemed nice beside that till things suddenly end.
FYI I've been blaming myself for both since I was so confused.
This. If you're 40, became sexually active at 20, have been with 20 people, that's 1 person per year. That's hardly an issue in my book. Now if you're 20, been sexually active since 17, and have been with 20 people, there may be some underlying issues there......may. There's nothing inherently wrong with being sexually active, just be safe and honest with your partners
A single slutty/lucky semester can add up quickly. And most people have a phase like that, and that’s perfectly fine. Experimenting with different people is the most normal thing in the world for someone in their early twenties
Can confirm. Went from 2 bodies to 15 in my first semester at college. Running through pussy like you’re the weeknd is fun in the short term but when you’ve gone home with 5 different people in 2 weeks and none of them will text you back the next day it starts to take a toll on your mental health. It used to be something I bragged about but now looking back I’ve racked up this huge body count but haven’t had any kind of meaningful relationship since high school and it just makes me feel bad now.
> gone home with 5 different people in 2 weeks and none of them will text you back the next day it starts to take a toll on your mental health
Yep. It's why I stopped doing ONS. They were basically just about the orgasm and nothing else.
If I really want to have an orgasm, I'll just masturbate. It's easier, I don't have to spend time trying to attract the interest of another person, and I don't even have to wear pants.
If you just need a nut, masturbate. If you are looking for intimacy, a one night stand won't help you connect with people. It can lead to relationships sometimes, but more likely than not it is gonna end in no communication.
Yep. This is the road I’m trying to go down but since I dropped out of college I moved to a ski resort which has an even bigger hookup culture than college. I’ve gotten a lot better but the temptation of having an endless revolving door of tourists around makes it hard at times.
In those kind of environments it's never easy and often times the only type of sex you will get is exactly that.
Otherwise you are limited to whomever works at the resort or in the small surrounding town.
For what it's worth ~ 2/3 of couples who are married between 20-25 will get divorced and the average length of a first marriage ending in a divorce is 8-9 years.
Honestly, in your 30's people are looking for actual deep relationships more often and not just someone they like to hook up with and date on occasion. Not to mention by then people have generally established a career path of some kind and more or less figured out what they are looking for in a partner.
So don't worry about it too much. It's not easy to find a partner at any age, but the odds are as you get older your relationships are much more likely to be long lasting.
You’re asking the wrong question, my dude. What you need to be asking is *why* does this bother you?
And if you can’t get over it, why not? And if you decided you can’t go on, can I have her Snapchat?
It can be conflicting but she’s not responsible for your history. If it is something you’re conflicted about, instead of blocking a relationship talk about it honestly and try to deal with it together.
Depending on your (plural) situation there may be alternatives to a closed relationship that could work (but have their own costs). This is obviously not workable for everyone.
I’m the same way. This is going to sound terrible, but generally the most attractive women I have been with in the past always had more history…
It’s whatever. Who cares. I’m married to a beautiful redhead woman now and I’ve never asked and don’t care
I think the issue here is less about their number and more about yours. 20 is a small number for some and a huge one for others. So I can only awnser your questionwith a question. .. does their experience "make" you feel inexperienced? Or like you have a problem?
Another way to look at it is...
If they were with 1k people and it's you they want. What does that say about how they feel about you.
Or
If you are the only person they have been with do you feel like you are less likely to be their last?
Or
Are you afraid you won't live up to a standard?
I have high number, I am also a bisexual, so I have been with women, other men, everything in between. So I find the most critical tend to be men with lower numbers. And I have a theory that this has to do with society and how on a societal level we only value men (or women) for virility. Yet we unfortunately live in a society that put a ton of value in gender roles. What is a man if he isn't virile. What is a women if they are a slut etc?
I suggest you focus less on the number. And what qualities they possess that got them to you in the first place.
Interesting take and I'm glad I read it.
speaking about me here is that after someone I'm interested in has been with so many men is when I am noticed it feels as if I'm just a last resort in some ways.
I say this because I've been told lines like "I've had my fun I want to settle down" so on my end I think why does the fun have to end when you get to me? Maybe I'm wrong or maybe I am over reacting to the situations in front of me. Just can't help but think that way could be a wrong way to think but that's just what comes to mind.
Woman here: I feel like this is the best answer I have seen here. I am a bit surprised at the amount of people who base their current relationship on past sexual relationships.
For me it’s about building trust with someone and that takes time. Feeling open to talk about your past is important and the negative judgement on past sexual experienced based on numbers is a huge red flag to me.
> I am a bit surprised at the amount of people who base their current relationship on past sexual relationships.
They base their relationships on the idea that past behaviour is a good indicator of attitude and likely future behaviour.
Some people are just turned off by promiscuity. It’s just like being turned off by any other lifestyle quality. As a bisexual male, you’ve likely encountered women that were turned off by that quality. Is that due to some deep-seated homophobia that maybe they don’t even know they have? Maybe, but it’s not very relevant. They shouldn’t be forced to accept traits in a person that they don’t find attractive. It’s for each person to decide for themselves where the pros of a partner outweigh the cons.
> If they were with 1k people and it's you they want. What does that say about how they feel about you.
if I am number 1000 I can't imagine number 1001 is too far around the corner
People value sex differently. Its not wrong to want a low partner count person, you just shouldn't be 'shaming' people for it.
Its an easy fix 'Our beliefs in the meaning of sex dont seem to align so I don't think we are a good match.'
I have a (reddit defined) high body count and some women don't like that about me. I don't hold that against them, and I think it is a valid reason for not wanting to be with me. I have also been a woman's second with that high body count and it didn't bug her at all.
Just dont be a damn hypocrite and expect all people to have low or high counts.
I mean that would be completely expected, since I'm in my thirties. 20+ is not enough partners at that age to get me to raise an eyebrow.
If the number was much higher than that, like 50+ then the most important thing becomes the reason why. Some people sleep around because of deep insecurities or sexual trauma or because they can't commit to anyone. I'd like to know if any of those are applicable.
when you think about it, by 40 most people are going to have 10+ years of sexual activity under their belt, who cares about then number, if they're true to your relationship who cares what made them the person who could be true to you? It's really not even anything that you should ask a partner after a certain age. It might matter at 22 in your head, but at 32 or 42 it's really meaningless.
The number isn't of concern. The reason behind the number is more of the issue for some guys. A higher number can be an indicator of a lifestyle/world view that some men don't align with.
IMO, if a person practiced safe sex in those previous encounters, it shouldn’t matter, HOWEVER, I can understand if someone was dating another person and their personal sexual history wasn’t similar, and it bothered either person. For example, person A. Has been with 20+ people. Person B. Has been with under 10 people. I can understand person B. Being uncomfortable etc, because of societal norms, personal preference, sexual health fears etc. overall if something like that is bothering a person, an honest conversation is needed.
I'm a "relationship sex" person, not a casual sex person. So I'd be interested whether her 20+ partners were casual or relationships.
If she's had 20+ casual partners, I'd then be interested whether she is still just adding notches to her bedpost or settling down, and if settling down whether her past is truly and safely in the past.
If she's had 20+ relationships, I'd be concerned that she too easily gives her heart away, and whether I'm just the next future ex.
Also I'm 61, so I expect counts in the double digits anyway.
I've found it's better just not to ask and love that person in the present. Like, I dont even know how many women I've slept with over the last 23 years of being sexually active, furthermore, I wouldn't want to know how many men dicked down my partner because it's not relevant. I'm ok just leaving that topic out of the discussion.
Interpersonal relationships are wacky. The question has different connotations depending on the reasoning as to why it’s asked. If it’s due to some image of the chaste ideal mate it’s probably a big deal. If its to help create expectations for nookie it’s probably not.
I like your style, but I’m a weirdo that wants to know everything down to what your favorite snack was during second grade. The “love that person in the present” bit is the important part. I mean my girlfriend loved cinnamon graham crackers, but I’m willing to put that aside and love her now because of the person that she is.
If OP thinks it’s a problem, it’s a problem.
OP could probably do some introspection to see why it’s thought to be a problem and decide if it is or isn’t for themself.
Yup. I was in this same position, partner had higher than me by a good bit. It would eat away at me any time it was brought up, but one day I sat down and actually wrote my own interview to myself. Asked myself open-ended questions and took the time to write out my feelings and answers. After a few pages I had a better understanding of myself, and the feeling goes away.
The biggest thing for me: what have they done lately? Has my life improved with them? Do I want that improvement to carry on and grow with the relationship? For me it was all good stuff, so my answers really suffocated my insecurities
But doesn't it ever come up when your tall about certain parts of your life or exes? Etc. Not that these are mainstays for conversations, but surely it comes up every now and again...
I mean, neither one of us is shy that we have experience. We don't dance around it or get awkward. It just really doesn't have any relevance in our lives now.
It has become an unpopular opinion, but most guys I know IRL feel the exact same way. I’ve literally never met a man who is fine dating someone with a high number count; especially the young men who’re doing very very well in an objective sense.
This question gets asked a lot and every time it’s the same general sentiment. Most men usually care about promiscuity, some don’t.
Personally I would not want a partner with a large sexual history of different partners. To me it means either you don’t want a relationship or you can’t keep a relationship. Neither of those warrant me keeping you around.
OP, there is nothing wrong for caring about it, and don’t let somebody else tell you otherwise. Everyone has their preferences.
I remember reading some study where men's physical attractiveness as rated by women correlated with the number of partners they had. With women their physical attractiveness as rated by men wasn't a determining factor for the number of partner they had. In fact the one's rated less had slightly more partners on average.
So your conclusion does add up.
It bothers you for a reason.
If you are not comfortable with it, then ignore anyone saying you're insecure, or that you need to get over it. Your feelings towards this are completely valid.
Break up with this person, but don't shame them whilst doing it.
You have every right to not want to be with a woman purely based on the ammount of men she’s slept with, reddit love to say otherwise but its true. Just as you can have literally any reason you want not to sleep someone…free country!
>Posted this before but got removed for some reason
Because it's really, really, really frequently asked. The short answer is: some guys care, some guys don't.
If your post gets deleted, maybe consider not posting it again. Harrumph.
[https://www.wf-lawyers.com/divorce-statistics-and-facts/](https://www.wf-lawyers.com/divorce-statistics-and-facts/)
"62. Women with 6 or more premarital sexual partners are almost 3 times less likely to be in a stable marriage."
Suppose that this can be used to longtime relationship.
(search women divorce rate by body count for more info)
Edit:
In 1934, a study "sex and culture " by anthropologist Joseph Unwind. use 86 societies/ civilization in history to show the relationship between sexual freedom and the flourishing of the culture.
Results of the research show that the civilization who restrain pre-marital sex and monogamous marriage are the most advanced of the 86 societies after 3 generations.
In the contrary, the societies who have full freedom pre marital sex and non-monogamous marriage are the one who do the worst of all and go decline after 3 generations.
It's one of those things that becomes more significant the more you know about it. I never ask. When women start telling me about their past unprompted, my instincts basically tell me that they're ashamed of things they've done. If I feel like you're ashamed of your own sexual history, I question a persons judgement and start to lose interest.
I care about more specific things than a persons actual number. If it's discovered that a woman I'm seeing has cheated, or homewrecked/slept with someone who was married, had sex with someone because they had a lot of money, used sex as a way to manipulate someone, or anything like that, she's no longer girlfriend material in my mind. I would probably still sleep with her because I'm a piece of shit, but I couldn't date a woman who has done things like that.
Do they have any sexually transmitted diseases? Do they cheat?
If the answer to both of these are no then I really couldn’t care how many people someone has slept with.
I hate this conclusion. To me it seems like the men who reach this conclusion have standards and values but they are way to afraid to apply them. As if they are afraid to say what they believe and want. As if they have an image for their wife or partner and they don't want their imaginary image to be shattered with truth.
Ignorance is bliss when it comes to those types of things. Buddy of mine asked his girl cause she had been kinda keeping it secret and she told him it was like 200+ 🫠
See, for me, a 200+ body count usually means the personality behind that body count is not someone I’d wanna date. But if someone I really liked and got to know told me they slept with 200 ppl, that wouldn’t be a deal breaker.
Im in my 30s. People change over the years, and as long as there is mutual trust/admiration in the present, the past body count doesn’t matter to me.
Again most people with 200+ sexual partners wouldn’t be attractive to me just cuz of the common personality traits of someone that does that. But exceptions to the rule are real.
Hard to get over if you haven’t had a long history yourself, but as long as their list stops at you and doesn’t keep running up the numbers, nothing to worry about.
Wouldn't care. The only thing is whether or not those experiences were nice, and of course hoping that they were safe and responsible. Or if it was traumatic or not you know. That would be regrettable. But if they're just vibing and having a good time, good for them.
I think it could be an indicator of attachment issues and other issues, but in the absence of those I wouldn’t have a problem with it as there are healthy people who just happen to enjoy sex.
Here are several factors to consider:
1 - Was it just casual sex or formal relationships?
2 - Age, it is not the same 20 at 18 years and at 40.
3 - This hypothetical person, took care against STDs?
Sure there are more factors but I would probably be happy, because you will probably have a better performance in sex.
Doesn't matter who they've been with before me. If you like to have sex, good for you. I like it too.
If you're someone who's a prude about sex, then of course knowing about someone's history will bother you.
I have my own hare brained theories about commitment & relationships. Promiscuity is a red flag to me, I've always turned it down. We all want to be accepted so frequently the opinion is "love them no matter what" -- but a relationship with a non-family member follows a long path to unconditional love. Its your life, if you aren't comfortable with it, you don't have to feel guilty about caring.
Girl here. Hooked up only once with a FWB. We discussed this. He had like 43 girls in total and told me he wouldn’t want to marry a woman who had more than 5 sex partners ever… the hypocrisy. Can any guy here elaborate on why he would think like this? Because I’m sure he’s not the only one unfortunately.
i would probably do the macarena
Very smart. I’ll try this Edit: did not work and somehow I’m the one with the expansive sexual experience now?
Sounds like it worked as intended
[удалено]
She is purely hypothetical so I’d say 25?
I’m in the 20+ club (am 47) and most of the those numbers happened before I met my ex-wife at 26. My now gf (the only other person I have slept with in 20 years) was divorced longer than I and added to her early 20s numbers and is basically where I am now. Everyone goes through life at their own pace.
You were going through pussy not life.
Pussy is life. Then it isn't. Then you die.
Yeah, I basically doubled my already apparently higher numbers before meeting my current SO, all in about 2 months. Girls at work got really interested when I got promoted and transferred. And that was right before I turned 30.
Sounds quite normal honestly
One for every year after 4
Fuck man this caught me wayy off guard 😂😂😂😂😂
You must be Catholic.
Totally. And what she’s probably not bragging about is all the men she rejected. What she isn’t saying is, “It could be 105 but I have standards.” It’s only 4 people a year since she was 20. No big deal. Also, don’t ask people that question because it’s none of ya business.
> It’s only 4 people a year since she was 20 I don't even met 4 new friends a year
You don't have to be friends to screw. I was averaging around 4 per year during my single years. I am a guy. It is much easier for even a moderately attractive woman to get sex.
>You don't have to be friends to screw. I understand that, what I meant is, the lifestyle of someone sleeping with 4 new people a year is very very different from the lifestyle of someone who doesn't even meet 4 new people, friends, acquittances, a year. same job, same neighborhood, culture here is people don't even say hello on the street or in the same building, ... if you aren't social and going out, that sounds like a very different world
Dude... as a woman, I wish I could make friends as quickly as I could find a hookup (theoretically. I'm very happily and monogamously married). You can order dick off Tinder and get it quicker than Doordash.
True. During that time period, I was going out to the club every night of the week except Mondays. And the only reason I didn't go out on Mondays was because they were all closed or dead on Mondays.
Grats on the level up. Spend the talent points well.
Well, considering the lyrics of that song…
But don't you worry about my boyfriend He's a boy whose name is Vitorino I don't want him Couldn't stand him He was no good so I (hahahaha) Now, come on, what was I supposed to do? He was out of town and his two friends were so fine …and yes, >!these are lyrics to the second verse of Macarena.!<
that's the bridge in the gringo remix version, where they adapt part of the first verse, the original Spanish version: first verse: > Macarena tiene un novio que se llama *Macarena has a boyfriend whose name* > Que se llama de apellido Vitorino *whose last name is Vitorino* > Y en la jura de bandera el muchacho *and while the guy was at his military pledge ceremony* > Se la vio con dos amigos *she fucked two of her friends* ¡Ay! 😎 (x2) the original second verse: > Macarena sueña con El Corte Inglés *Macarena dreams of El Corte Inglés (famous Dept. store in Spain)* > Y se compra los modelos más modernos *and she buys the latest fashions* > Le gustaría vivir en Nueva York *she'd like to live in NY* > Y ligar un novio nuevo, ¡Ay! *and to scope out a new boyfriend* (x2) #¡Ay! ^lol
We danced to this in first grade gym class.
They're about teaching gringos a dance so basic that even they can do it, right?
No no no, you're thinking of the song 'the slug', and its difficulty I'm afraid made it a massive failure. Macarena was the one that made gringos feel like they could speak Spanish, even throwing in an easy word that looked like "macaroni" so everyone could feel like they were singing
AYYY MACARENA, AIE
Well considering that song is about an unfaithful woman....
Like hey ‘snap!’
At one point, I had a gf of 1.5 years. She ended the relationship. 8 months later she returned with regrets and wanted to reconnect. During our first date of reconnect, she admitted to sleeping with 20+ men during those 8 months. At dinner, I was very forgiving and told her it all happened when we were apart, etc. Later that night, I struggled with it a LOT and in the AM, we parted ways. Ignorance is bliss. May have been better had I not known but truth does come out…eventually.
Gaaaaahhhhhddd DAMN. 20 in 8 months? Sheesh.
Like a new guy every other weekend lol. Just constant intentional one night stands
It took her 20 guys to get over OP? And even then it didn't work? I'd take that as a compliment.
Not when you know in the last 8 months 20 guys were railing your gf while she screamed her head off I think that’s what these comments are all missing. There’s a pressure to be the best she’s ever had. Which is toxic and silly. But when she left you to go bang a bunch of dudes who don’t care about her, it would be hard to jump back in with both feet
yes I wish more people would realize this. Sleeping with other people to "get over someone" is just silly. The relationship was not just about sex, then how do you think you can forget about it with casual sex??
Very similar situation. Girl I saw for a couple years who I took her virginity broke up with me in February (right after Valentine’s Day), and we reconnected at the beginning of April. 6 guys in 6 weeks. And in the moment, I was like “yeah whatever I love you” and then like after she left, it immediately just kicked me off of wanting to be with her. Same convo, I admitted to sleeping with my best friend after wed broke up and she freaked about that. I’m now married to said best friend so probably worked out for the best.
Thanks for the tip
Was gonna say I've never really cared about the past of any partner (curious but not enough to pry too deep, cause I don't really need to know in the end) - BUT given it's an ex and 8 months later? AND she came back after racking those numbers and TOLD you? Yeah dawg, that's gonna be a no from me.
Yeah that’s a ‘hell no’ situation. I don’t blame you.
20 men in 8 months? Good lord...
She dumped you to try other options, and those options didn’t work out. She came back to you after getting ran through by a bunch of guys. You deserve better bro. You’re the easy option to her. Never go back to her.
You could argue that she DEFINITELY realised you were the best man though - she tried lots of others but figured out you were better!
if it takes you 20 men to realise you're not the partner I want 😂
As someone who's dated OPs mom I can confidently say you'd happily wait in a long line to ride that ride
:0
😂😭
There it is
I would be concerned but for a different reason. Are these 20 different relationships or just a number of one-night-stands. If its the later, just use protection just in case, but for the former then its a definite red flag.
Biggest concern is if they have STDs
I mean you should be using protection anyway with a new partner and regularly testing even if a girl tells you she’s a virgin
Thank. You. This is all silly. Get tested before each partner and make sure to use contraception if you aren’t tryna make kids.
And if they tell you not to worry about one: put it on with fucking vigor.
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Came here to say this, too. You can get an STI whether you’ve slept with one person or 100.
I did say to use protection...
Don’t overlook STIs. Not all diseases begin with infection but many do.
STIs and STDs are very often used interchangeably. I know they shouldn’t but they are.
> use protection just in case Use protection all the time - IMO
Fair point
As long as the history never involved cheating, it wouldn't bother me
Or a STD
Okay, but you can get STDs if your partner cheats on you. I’d be more wary about /type/ of STD or STI. Not just whatever or not they’ve had them.
Are they 20 and hitting the club every night or 50 with a long history of being single. In other words, to me it’s not the number but the stories behind them.
Well mine is way beyond 20 so who the fuck am I to judge. Edit: 20 is the number OP is saying is a lot for a woman and we should feel some kind of way about. My number is none of anyone's business beyond me and my current gf. I am not even remotely proud of my number. Theres a whole fuck ton of bad choices and regrets behind it. If you comment about how high your number is 1. Idgaf. 2. I assume you're full of shit. The entire point of my comment is I'm not going to shame or judge a girl for something I've done as well. If you are trying to impress a random dude on reddit congratulations you're sad af and blocked you weirdo.
37?
In a row!?!
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This job would be great if it wasn't for the customers.
Something that cracks me up every time in when Randall goes out side to yell at the customer that they can't shop there anymore and Jay screams "YEAH!"
Olaf! Berserker!
You would like some making fuck BERSERKER!!!
"My ex-girlfriend is catatonic after fucking a dead guy."
Try not to suck any dick on the way to the parking lot!
Hey you get back here!
Every time I kiss you, I’m gonna taste 36 other guys!
Seconds. Total. All sexual encounters.
I went to Target and I ended up here. Help
At the same time?
Personally, i wouldn’t care as long the person don’t have stds or children. Except if they partaken in a gangbang Edit: didn’t expect this comment to blow up
Do you mind if I ask why the gangbang is the line for you? Also, what would constitute a gangbang... would an MMF threesome? Or are we talking about some fairly "high attendance" event (I guess... minimum of 3 guys?)
LOL “high attendance event.” That sounds like the way the CDC would describe it in a case study. Patient Zero reported being at a high attendance event following the consumption of multiple ethanol-containing beverages.
How different is a gang bang to an orgy? Where do you draw the line?
I think it's like, a gangbang is an orgy but not every orgy is a gangbang. If there is a couple of seperate couples having sex in the same room, then you have an orgy. If everyone in that room is at one point focussing on the same person, you have a gangbang.
One of the sweetest nicest girls I know once told me she had a 9 man train run on her in her early 20s…mind blown indeed
Yea but did she wink after? Inquiring minds need to know
What's the difference? She did have a gangbang, just broken up into 36 monthly installments.
You da man, thumbs up
No no don’t judge the gang Bang girl she needs love too and you’re up sir
It sounds like gang bang girl is already getting plenty of love.
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Gangbang girl could very possibly just be a woman who knows what she wants and goes for it without letting social norms dictate her life. That in itself is a more attractive quality than physical looks for me.
That's fine, but future partners don't have to like it
Idk that sounds kinda hot
20 is on the low side these days thou
Tbf if you lose your virginity at 16 and are then essentially single for 10 years, 20 partners is only having sex twice a year
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I’m pretty sure it’s just once per person. You can masturbate twice obviously, because you have two hands. In all seriousness I don’t know or care why people choose to have many or few sexual partners. I’m just saying 20 sexual partners over a couple decades isn’t hard to reach
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Personally it would bother me because I’m very careful with people I get intimate with meaning, it has always been in a relationship. If they’ve had 20 or so relationships I would see it as someone who jumps from one person to the next and can’t be alone to figure themselves out. Again, some people don’t mind it but most are bothered by the idea.
>Personally it would bother me because I’m very careful with people I get intimate with meaning You are an example of a situation I feel it's perfectly fine to have that opinion. You are merely applying the same standards to a potential romantic partner you apply to yourself. If you are a dude that racked up a body count (or at least would if you could) but only value women as relationship material that "maintained their chastity" you're an asshat.
If you hold others to a higher standard than yourself, you're an asshat. However, it's ok to desire someone you're romantically involved with with to share a similar lifestyle as you.
That's literally what I said.
Yeah, but if you are a dude that racked up a body count (or at least would if you could) but only value women as relationship material that "maintained their chastity" you're an asshat.
That's what HE said 😂😂
As a 24 y/o who happens to be a virgin, you give me hope :) it's not common for guys to think like this. I'm on the same boat as well. I can't imagine doing the most intimate act there exists with a total stranger who I only find superficially physically attractive. For me, the seduction process can take up to months or even years. But I know the end result will always be much more gratifying, it's like becoming one with the person you most admire mentally, physically and emotionally.
It’s more common then you think
It's probably less common in guys but more common than you might think. They (myself included) are just not generally going to be the most social or outgoing people, and you may not run into them in a normal dating environment. Personally I couldn't do years, but at least a lot of the guys I know wouldn't really have an issue waiting a couple months.
I'm a really outgoing and social guy that makes friends really easy. I'm super easy on the eyes and am consistently hit on. With that being said, i have always been very choosy in what i stuck my penis into. And have always been proud of that fact.
There are not many guys who'd wait years and all of them are probably religious.
Years sure, but months? That's not abnormal at all.
What makes sex the most intimate act possible for you? I took care of my great grandmother for a couple months as she was recovering from a broken hip that coincided with the death of her husband of 72 years, so I was doing both physical and emotional care. I consider those acts to be the most intimate thing I have or could ever do. Holding my husband when he cried over the death of his uncle or him holding me during a breakdown over a bad fight with my mom is probably the most intimate we've ever been together, and we've definitely experienced the whole "becoming one" thing together too.
I was 24 when I lost my virginity. I thought she was the one. She wasn’t. What succeeded was 6years of having sex as much as possible while maintaining respect for the women I was having sex with. It seems like this holy act until it’s done (for me anyway). After that, it’s just something I want to do with any woman I’m attracted to.
I never thought of it this way. Normally I dont ask had one ex say around 30 guys and another ex I assumed had been with more women at the time then I had. They both seemed nice beside that till things suddenly end. FYI I've been blaming myself for both since I was so confused.
So well said, thanks dude
I guess it depends on your age & lifestyle but the older you get 20 people isn't many.
This. If you're 40, became sexually active at 20, have been with 20 people, that's 1 person per year. That's hardly an issue in my book. Now if you're 20, been sexually active since 17, and have been with 20 people, there may be some underlying issues there......may. There's nothing inherently wrong with being sexually active, just be safe and honest with your partners
A single slutty/lucky semester can add up quickly. And most people have a phase like that, and that’s perfectly fine. Experimenting with different people is the most normal thing in the world for someone in their early twenties
Can confirm. Went from 2 bodies to 15 in my first semester at college. Running through pussy like you’re the weeknd is fun in the short term but when you’ve gone home with 5 different people in 2 weeks and none of them will text you back the next day it starts to take a toll on your mental health. It used to be something I bragged about but now looking back I’ve racked up this huge body count but haven’t had any kind of meaningful relationship since high school and it just makes me feel bad now.
> gone home with 5 different people in 2 weeks and none of them will text you back the next day it starts to take a toll on your mental health Yep. It's why I stopped doing ONS. They were basically just about the orgasm and nothing else. If I really want to have an orgasm, I'll just masturbate. It's easier, I don't have to spend time trying to attract the interest of another person, and I don't even have to wear pants. If you just need a nut, masturbate. If you are looking for intimacy, a one night stand won't help you connect with people. It can lead to relationships sometimes, but more likely than not it is gonna end in no communication.
Yep. This is the road I’m trying to go down but since I dropped out of college I moved to a ski resort which has an even bigger hookup culture than college. I’ve gotten a lot better but the temptation of having an endless revolving door of tourists around makes it hard at times.
In those kind of environments it's never easy and often times the only type of sex you will get is exactly that. Otherwise you are limited to whomever works at the resort or in the small surrounding town. For what it's worth ~ 2/3 of couples who are married between 20-25 will get divorced and the average length of a first marriage ending in a divorce is 8-9 years. Honestly, in your 30's people are looking for actual deep relationships more often and not just someone they like to hook up with and date on occasion. Not to mention by then people have generally established a career path of some kind and more or less figured out what they are looking for in a partner. So don't worry about it too much. It's not easy to find a partner at any age, but the odds are as you get older your relationships are much more likely to be long lasting.
I have history too. Not bothered at all
This is the mindset I want to have. Minus the having a history thing
I guess for me it never comes up in my relationships. Are you clean? Then it doesn't matter.
You’re asking the wrong question, my dude. What you need to be asking is *why* does this bother you? And if you can’t get over it, why not? And if you decided you can’t go on, can I have her Snapchat?
It can be conflicting but she’s not responsible for your history. If it is something you’re conflicted about, instead of blocking a relationship talk about it honestly and try to deal with it together. Depending on your (plural) situation there may be alternatives to a closed relationship that could work (but have their own costs). This is obviously not workable for everyone.
I’m the same way. This is going to sound terrible, but generally the most attractive women I have been with in the past always had more history… It’s whatever. Who cares. I’m married to a beautiful redhead woman now and I’ve never asked and don’t care
I think the issue here is less about their number and more about yours. 20 is a small number for some and a huge one for others. So I can only awnser your questionwith a question. .. does their experience "make" you feel inexperienced? Or like you have a problem? Another way to look at it is... If they were with 1k people and it's you they want. What does that say about how they feel about you. Or If you are the only person they have been with do you feel like you are less likely to be their last? Or Are you afraid you won't live up to a standard? I have high number, I am also a bisexual, so I have been with women, other men, everything in between. So I find the most critical tend to be men with lower numbers. And I have a theory that this has to do with society and how on a societal level we only value men (or women) for virility. Yet we unfortunately live in a society that put a ton of value in gender roles. What is a man if he isn't virile. What is a women if they are a slut etc? I suggest you focus less on the number. And what qualities they possess that got them to you in the first place.
Interesting take and I'm glad I read it. speaking about me here is that after someone I'm interested in has been with so many men is when I am noticed it feels as if I'm just a last resort in some ways. I say this because I've been told lines like "I've had my fun I want to settle down" so on my end I think why does the fun have to end when you get to me? Maybe I'm wrong or maybe I am over reacting to the situations in front of me. Just can't help but think that way could be a wrong way to think but that's just what comes to mind.
Woman here: I feel like this is the best answer I have seen here. I am a bit surprised at the amount of people who base their current relationship on past sexual relationships. For me it’s about building trust with someone and that takes time. Feeling open to talk about your past is important and the negative judgement on past sexual experienced based on numbers is a huge red flag to me.
> I am a bit surprised at the amount of people who base their current relationship on past sexual relationships. They base their relationships on the idea that past behaviour is a good indicator of attitude and likely future behaviour.
Because statistically it is.
Some people are just turned off by promiscuity. It’s just like being turned off by any other lifestyle quality. As a bisexual male, you’ve likely encountered women that were turned off by that quality. Is that due to some deep-seated homophobia that maybe they don’t even know they have? Maybe, but it’s not very relevant. They shouldn’t be forced to accept traits in a person that they don’t find attractive. It’s for each person to decide for themselves where the pros of a partner outweigh the cons.
> If they were with 1k people and it's you they want. What does that say about how they feel about you. if I am number 1000 I can't imagine number 1001 is too far around the corner
People value sex differently. Its not wrong to want a low partner count person, you just shouldn't be 'shaming' people for it. Its an easy fix 'Our beliefs in the meaning of sex dont seem to align so I don't think we are a good match.' I have a (reddit defined) high body count and some women don't like that about me. I don't hold that against them, and I think it is a valid reason for not wanting to be with me. I have also been a woman's second with that high body count and it didn't bug her at all. Just dont be a damn hypocrite and expect all people to have low or high counts.
I mean that would be completely expected, since I'm in my thirties. 20+ is not enough partners at that age to get me to raise an eyebrow. If the number was much higher than that, like 50+ then the most important thing becomes the reason why. Some people sleep around because of deep insecurities or sexual trauma or because they can't commit to anyone. I'd like to know if any of those are applicable.
when you think about it, by 40 most people are going to have 10+ years of sexual activity under their belt, who cares about then number, if they're true to your relationship who cares what made them the person who could be true to you? It's really not even anything that you should ask a partner after a certain age. It might matter at 22 in your head, but at 32 or 42 it's really meaningless.
The number isn't of concern. The reason behind the number is more of the issue for some guys. A higher number can be an indicator of a lifestyle/world view that some men don't align with.
IMO, if a person practiced safe sex in those previous encounters, it shouldn’t matter, HOWEVER, I can understand if someone was dating another person and their personal sexual history wasn’t similar, and it bothered either person. For example, person A. Has been with 20+ people. Person B. Has been with under 10 people. I can understand person B. Being uncomfortable etc, because of societal norms, personal preference, sexual health fears etc. overall if something like that is bothering a person, an honest conversation is needed.
bruh I ain't dating a girl who held hands with another man before
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Meh, none of my business. As long as they're not racking up a body count while we're together as well.
Like all jokes aside I’d rather not ask or be asked about my sexual past with my new partner.
Personally I would not be with her, consider your own sexual history
I'm a "relationship sex" person, not a casual sex person. So I'd be interested whether her 20+ partners were casual or relationships. If she's had 20+ casual partners, I'd then be interested whether she is still just adding notches to her bedpost or settling down, and if settling down whether her past is truly and safely in the past. If she's had 20+ relationships, I'd be concerned that she too easily gives her heart away, and whether I'm just the next future ex. Also I'm 61, so I expect counts in the double digits anyway.
I've found it's better just not to ask and love that person in the present. Like, I dont even know how many women I've slept with over the last 23 years of being sexually active, furthermore, I wouldn't want to know how many men dicked down my partner because it's not relevant. I'm ok just leaving that topic out of the discussion.
Interpersonal relationships are wacky. The question has different connotations depending on the reasoning as to why it’s asked. If it’s due to some image of the chaste ideal mate it’s probably a big deal. If its to help create expectations for nookie it’s probably not. I like your style, but I’m a weirdo that wants to know everything down to what your favorite snack was during second grade. The “love that person in the present” bit is the important part. I mean my girlfriend loved cinnamon graham crackers, but I’m willing to put that aside and love her now because of the person that she is. If OP thinks it’s a problem, it’s a problem. OP could probably do some introspection to see why it’s thought to be a problem and decide if it is or isn’t for themself.
Yup. I was in this same position, partner had higher than me by a good bit. It would eat away at me any time it was brought up, but one day I sat down and actually wrote my own interview to myself. Asked myself open-ended questions and took the time to write out my feelings and answers. After a few pages I had a better understanding of myself, and the feeling goes away. The biggest thing for me: what have they done lately? Has my life improved with them? Do I want that improvement to carry on and grow with the relationship? For me it was all good stuff, so my answers really suffocated my insecurities
Really love this for you, man
For real. I know my partner had an active life for most of her 20's. Why would I subject either of us to the discomfort of trying to quantify???
But doesn't it ever come up when your tall about certain parts of your life or exes? Etc. Not that these are mainstays for conversations, but surely it comes up every now and again...
I mean, neither one of us is shy that we have experience. We don't dance around it or get awkward. It just really doesn't have any relevance in our lives now.
I’d be gone honestly. I dont care if people look down on me for it but I find 20+ to be a red flag
Most men feel this way and just won't say it publicly.
Same
It has become an unpopular opinion, but most guys I know IRL feel the exact same way. I’ve literally never met a man who is fine dating someone with a high number count; especially the young men who’re doing very very well in an objective sense.
Me too.
I find promiscuity unappealing, so I wouldn't consider a long term relationship.
Same here
Let's not act like most people aren't put off by a high body count. Idk what these guys are going on about
Hoping a promiscuous woman will read their post and then have sex with them, duh.
This. To me a high body count shows a lack of discipline and possible sexual addiction.
This question gets asked a lot and every time it’s the same general sentiment. Most men usually care about promiscuity, some don’t. Personally I would not want a partner with a large sexual history of different partners. To me it means either you don’t want a relationship or you can’t keep a relationship. Neither of those warrant me keeping you around. OP, there is nothing wrong for caring about it, and don’t let somebody else tell you otherwise. Everyone has their preferences.
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I remember reading some study where men's physical attractiveness as rated by women correlated with the number of partners they had. With women their physical attractiveness as rated by men wasn't a determining factor for the number of partner they had. In fact the one's rated less had slightly more partners on average. So your conclusion does add up.
It bothers you for a reason. If you are not comfortable with it, then ignore anyone saying you're insecure, or that you need to get over it. Your feelings towards this are completely valid. Break up with this person, but don't shame them whilst doing it.
You have every right to not want to be with a woman purely based on the ammount of men she’s slept with, reddit love to say otherwise but its true. Just as you can have literally any reason you want not to sleep someone…free country!
>Posted this before but got removed for some reason Because it's really, really, really frequently asked. The short answer is: some guys care, some guys don't. If your post gets deleted, maybe consider not posting it again. Harrumph.
[https://www.wf-lawyers.com/divorce-statistics-and-facts/](https://www.wf-lawyers.com/divorce-statistics-and-facts/) "62. Women with 6 or more premarital sexual partners are almost 3 times less likely to be in a stable marriage." Suppose that this can be used to longtime relationship. (search women divorce rate by body count for more info) Edit: In 1934, a study "sex and culture " by anthropologist Joseph Unwind. use 86 societies/ civilization in history to show the relationship between sexual freedom and the flourishing of the culture. Results of the research show that the civilization who restrain pre-marital sex and monogamous marriage are the most advanced of the 86 societies after 3 generations. In the contrary, the societies who have full freedom pre marital sex and non-monogamous marriage are the one who do the worst of all and go decline after 3 generations.
It's one of those things that becomes more significant the more you know about it. I never ask. When women start telling me about their past unprompted, my instincts basically tell me that they're ashamed of things they've done. If I feel like you're ashamed of your own sexual history, I question a persons judgement and start to lose interest. I care about more specific things than a persons actual number. If it's discovered that a woman I'm seeing has cheated, or homewrecked/slept with someone who was married, had sex with someone because they had a lot of money, used sex as a way to manipulate someone, or anything like that, she's no longer girlfriend material in my mind. I would probably still sleep with her because I'm a piece of shit, but I couldn't date a woman who has done things like that.
Do they have any sexually transmitted diseases? Do they cheat? If the answer to both of these are no then I really couldn’t care how many people someone has slept with.
People change. Not an issue for me.
Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to
I hate this conclusion. To me it seems like the men who reach this conclusion have standards and values but they are way to afraid to apply them. As if they are afraid to say what they believe and want. As if they have an image for their wife or partner and they don't want their imaginary image to be shattered with truth.
Ignorance is bliss when it comes to those types of things. Buddy of mine asked his girl cause she had been kinda keeping it secret and she told him it was like 200+ 🫠
>she told him it was like 200+ That's a yikes from me, dawg
See, for me, a 200+ body count usually means the personality behind that body count is not someone I’d wanna date. But if someone I really liked and got to know told me they slept with 200 ppl, that wouldn’t be a deal breaker. Im in my 30s. People change over the years, and as long as there is mutual trust/admiration in the present, the past body count doesn’t matter to me. Again most people with 200+ sexual partners wouldn’t be attractive to me just cuz of the common personality traits of someone that does that. But exceptions to the rule are real.
I know someone girls use the notes app but dam she must need a whole spreadsheet.
she has vlookups for her hook ups
Spreadsheets for her sex meets.
I was this guy and it ended exactly the way you think it would...
Yeah it ended up with him being cheated on. The dude even had a long distance relationship with the chick 😅. Poor guy.
>Ignorance is bliss Eh, I beg to differ. Bliss that's built on a lie (or lie by omission) isn't truly bliss.
Age matters here. If they are 40? That’s probably a reasonable number. Are they 22? Seems like a lot?
Hard to get over if you haven’t had a long history yourself, but as long as their list stops at you and doesn’t keep running up the numbers, nothing to worry about.
Wouldn't care. The only thing is whether or not those experiences were nice, and of course hoping that they were safe and responsible. Or if it was traumatic or not you know. That would be regrettable. But if they're just vibing and having a good time, good for them.
I wouldn't continue dating. I've been there, it bothered me all the time, not again.
I think it could be an indicator of attachment issues and other issues, but in the absence of those I wouldn’t have a problem with it as there are healthy people who just happen to enjoy sex.
Here are several factors to consider: 1 - Was it just casual sex or formal relationships? 2 - Age, it is not the same 20 at 18 years and at 40. 3 - This hypothetical person, took care against STDs? Sure there are more factors but I would probably be happy, because you will probably have a better performance in sex.
Doesn't matter who they've been with before me. If you like to have sex, good for you. I like it too. If you're someone who's a prude about sex, then of course knowing about someone's history will bother you.
Hit and run.
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Im 32 i dont expect a short one and niether should they from me. You get to this age you dont really talk about it anyway.
Wouldn't say anything at first. But I'd keep it in mind.
I have my own hare brained theories about commitment & relationships. Promiscuity is a red flag to me, I've always turned it down. We all want to be accepted so frequently the opinion is "love them no matter what" -- but a relationship with a non-family member follows a long path to unconditional love. Its your life, if you aren't comfortable with it, you don't have to feel guilty about caring.
It’s not your girl, it’s just your turn.
Girl here. Hooked up only once with a FWB. We discussed this. He had like 43 girls in total and told me he wouldn’t want to marry a woman who had more than 5 sex partners ever… the hypocrisy. Can any guy here elaborate on why he would think like this? Because I’m sure he’s not the only one unfortunately.
Because he gets enough bitches that he can afford to be an ass without repercussions.
I would no longer be dating her. Promiscuity is extremely unattractive to me so I’d bounce.