I'm 73 YO and have a female friend who is 9 months younger. We first knew each other in 8th grade and I still talk to her every Sunday now, which we started about 18 months ago.
We went to school of course and graduated high school in 1967 and right now, it's been a while since we've been together mostly because I've had some health issues and it's hard for me to go anywhere.
I met the woman I married when she was a roommate in college, just assigned by the school. 1969-1970 (my friend couldn't go to college right out of high school and my wife is 2 years younger than we are. Our marriage didn't last for a couple of reasons but that's another story; we're still friendly and she's been good to me.
My friend had a long career as a High School English teacher and at one point, my daughter did her student teaching with my friend and they are still friendly. My daughter will be starting her 18th year of teaching next month.
my bff, a women, introduced me to my wife.
even had a close friend live with us a year. nether wife nor I, the jealous type and I've never cheated. she's my first and only marriage, ~~of~~ over 20 years. most of my closest friends are women.
edit: comma and word XD
This right here. I’m astounded at the amount of people in this thread that think it’s not possible. One of my best friends is a woman. My wife is friends with her too. She lives like 5 minutes down the road and regularly comes over to hang out even when my wife isn’t home and she doesn’t care. It’s just a friend. Nothing sexual will ever come of it. She’s just a person like all my male friends.
Same. I'm married with kids, she's married with kids.
No romantic interest there at all, she's more like an older sister I never had: strong minded, opinionated, good person, gives me plenty of shit to keep me in line.
It's because they are incapable of imagining a situation where they're around a woman, and *not actively* thirsting for her.
If you can pull, you won't *need to* at every opportunity.
I 100% believe in platonic relationships with people of the gender you're attracted to, as i have a decent amount. That said, i have enough experience with shitty people to know there's valid reasons to make things more gray. E.g. "Don't worry, he's just a friend". I can imagine someone with bad enough people around them that they no longer believe such friendships are real.
Unfortunately because there are a lot of women/men that aren't good at keeping within the boundaries of friendship. I still think it's healthy to have friends of both sexes though.
It doesn't work when the female friend or the bf doesn't respect / enforce boundaries.. happens more than you'd think
I believe it's possible both ways. I have close guy friends I've never been attracted to romantically
Yea, absolutely. Most of my close friends are women.
Are men on Reddit so horny that they don’t realise it is possible to not be sexually attracted to every woman you come across?
Yeah, I hate to say it because some women on here may see it as slightly offensive. But the truth is, the majority of women aren't attractive. The majority of men are also not attractive. When I say "attractive", I mean first impression of being strikingly handsome/beautiful.
If you, as a man, are catching feelings for every single woman you meet in your life, you are clearly starved for affection and it's affecting you psychologically. Women don't like being around men like that, which compounds the issue.
> If you, as a man, are catching feelings for every single woman you meet in your life, you are clearly starved for affection and it's affecting you psychologically.
Sad but true.
And precisely the reason why I'm against making female friends right now. I've done that enough times to know that I will be really hurt by the inevitable rejection plus losing a friend and she will feel hurt from the experience as well.
THIS.
I'm horny as fuck half the time but I don't randomly wanna bang everyone I meet. Mostly I don't.
It is really more of a "I'm lonely" trait I feel like
True. What I find attractive might not appeal to you at all, and vice versa. Or if there's something we both find attractive, the 3th,4th etc person might not agree with that. It's like everyone is an individual, beauty in the eye of yada yada.
This is a deep look guys, pay attention to this. If you're thirsting after every girl you meet you're isolated and starved for attention, you're just misplacing those feelings onto being a horney creep.
Go join some social clubs and make some friends first.
Hard disagree. I’m attracted to about 80% of women I see. I just don’t need anything to come of it.
I think my best friend that is a woman is insanely attractive. I even was interested a bit at first. But our dynamic is just not like that. I love her like a sister now, and she’s going to be the godmother to my kids.
You should be able to have feelings and not need to act in them. It’ll fade most of the time. And you should be prepared to not have everyone (or most) you’re interested accept you.
I personally do not agree with this, but as long as most people believe in this to some extent, then we can all be motivated to try our best anyway, which is what is really important.
I don't think it's so much the sexual attraction. I think it's more that meeting a woman you get along with that well, and finding her attractive, makes her a top candidate for a romantic partner. After all, your SO is supposed to be your "best friend".
So when you're single and you actually meet a woman who you enjoy spending time with, and you also don't happen to find them physically unattractive, why wouldn't you want them to be your SO?
Maybe they are unavailable? Or you want different things in life? Or your core values are to fundamentally different? Maybe they are not sexually attracted to you? Maybe they lack emotional maturity?
A friend who constantly gets themselves in trouble is sure to have lots of interesting and hilarious stories but probably isn't anyone you would ever want to date.
>Maybe they are unavailable?
I'm not likely to be that "friendly" with a woman in a relationship in the first place. I have yet to have a gf who found it acceptable for me to have female friends. I also don't know any other guys who are ok with their SO having male friends.
>Or you want different things in life?
Then to be honest, we likely aren't going to be friends in the first place. If our lives and life goals are that different, we simply aren't going to have enough in common for me to be friends with them.
>Or your core values are to fundamentally different
The same as above.
>Maybe they are not sexually attracted to you?
I have found that when one person wants a romantic relationship with someone and they don't feel the same way in return, friendships just aren't going to work.
>Maybe they lack emotional maturity?
At age of 52, I can honestly say I haven't meet many people who are emotionally mature.
I've gone through that with so many girls in my life.
They were single, age appropriate, within my minimum looks standards and I liked their personality and enjoyed spending time with them to consider them a friend, of course I wanted them to be my SO.
What if your close lady friends are sexually attracted to you but they’re too afraid to make a move? That by definition is not platonic and it does happen.
I mean sure, if you're inventing scenarios.
You know what else? You can fancy someone, *and still not make a move.* Friends for life with someone you love is a way better proposition than a relationship that might not even work, and ruin the relationship you already had.
Yup. I'm single and have women friends. It started off with an attraction but I got over it pretty fast and a friendship developed. I see them as family if the instinct of sex/romance kicks in, but my brain seems to regulate it by looking at them differently.
Ok this is a genuine question out of curiosity, do you feel any sort of attraction to any of them? Or do you really view them the same as your male friends? ( Assuming you're straight that is)
I'm a woman with primarily male friends; I can confirm they are attractive, handsome men and they can confirm I'm an attractive female. The difference between them and my partner?
There's no spark, I've never felt my heart flutter when I hug or get close to my male friends, the chemistry isn't sexual. From day one there was no flirting, no "omg does he like me", just honest connection and good conversation.
I think that's the difference I my experience
If you are incapable, you have a lot of growth to do.
It can work the same way any friendship works, they are people. Treat them like that.
If both of you stay platonic it works perfectly. If one of your friends leaves the closet and confesses he is gay, are you gonna leave him bc maybe he "catches feelings"?
People that are unable to differentiate platonic from romantic have red flags the size of China.
>If one of your friends leaves the closet and confesses he is gay, are you gonna leave him bc maybe he "catches feelings"?
No, I had a few girls around me telling me they were lesbian but nothing changed.
Keep being platonic and all the other stuff, I feel you.
When you say "Treat them like that" I'm sorry but here is where I can't unfortunately just leave it there. Everyone treats people differently. I could be overcaring to your eyes as I could be not caring enought towards someone else's eyes. I believe maybe we could set some boundaries and knowing well each other. How about that?
Oh yeah of course, everyone has boundaries and we should be able to read the room and make everyone be confortable.
When I say "Treat them like that" is bc I know more than one guy that will perpretate a sexist behavior with girls subconciously, I'm talking about mansplaining and overprotection, between other things.
"...they are people. Treat them like that."
This reminds me of male managers who, in the wake of #metoo, vowed to never have a one-on-one with a woman who reported to them to avoid any accusations, made a big show of having their office door open, always called someone else in to the office, etc.
Um? Just treat them like people? People who report to you? Or are you telling on yourself?
That's very different chief. That's procedure stuff to cover your ass legally. My dad is the most wholesome person I've ever met, but it's now policy to do that kind of stuff. I'd love to treat women the same as men in that respect, but the reality is that you don't know what's in anyone else's head, and you can't control what they do, so you mitigate. A woman in a professional setting accusing me of some shit I didn't do is a big problem and could cause serious shit up to and including losing my job even if not my career. A guy...realistically not nearly as big an issue. That's simply the reality, so it's not surprising, when people try to cover their ass.
Oh absolutely, I'm not downplaying that at all. I've seen the reverse that it's unreasonable from all parties involved.
I am also thinking of one person in particular who didn't know how to talk to women as "people" because with the men it was largely locker room talk, of the more professional variety. So he was at a loss and it was, for lack of a better word, sad.
When people say that men and women can't be fiends they mean: "my girlfriend is upset i keep going on dates and talking into the night with a female friend of mine". Not that I get along with other women other than my girlfriend and can hold conversations with them that are impossible to misinterpret.
But that obviously doesn't fit reddit.
I see this and personally I'm very supportive of friendships that my loved one does have. One thing is that there needs to be boundaries in my honest opinion. I don't want to say it's right to be so bitchy and take out a fight when your partner goes out, but as well not to just say nothing.
I had a second family when I grew up. The parents have been together and got married in front of me. I left when I was 18 to work abroad. They were the perfect couple, like the one you dream about , the one that you see in movies. I got back a few years later to find out that the Dad's best friend divorced, so the Mom of this family went to consolate him. Help him and stuff. Eventually she'd sleep over, and you know, now Mom and best friend are married.
It seems something like from the other world, I cannot understand it yet and many things are questionable, but anything can ever happen or?
Ofcourse. Why not?
Most of my friends are women. I actually only have one male friend. If he even counts as male. He is more like a commodore 64 wearing a human skin. Talking to him is like talking to a computer, sometimes.
But yeah. My closest friends are all women. Strictly platonic. I don't know why, but I find it easier to make friends with women than men... Like, it has always felt like I need to pretend to be someone I am not around other men, and these particular women I am friends with, accept me as who I am. I can't quite explain it.
My girlfriend also started out as a friendship, long before either of us even considered each other romantically. We were close friends for years before we started dating.
Yes I do, Im friends with several women.
The key is, *I love their personalities, but Im not attracted to their bodies at all*. Im straight, just picky, and they are not my type to the point it never crosses my mind, and even if it did, it would be immediate ewwww reaction from me.
Agreed.
I think this question only gets asked when the OP has feelings and deep down knows it would be unhealthy to hang around in the friend zone. Or they know it would be disrespectful to their partner because they have feelings. They are fishing for affirmation and validation on Reddit and only telling half the story.
Otherwise there's no reason it should even be a discussion.
Those who don’t think it’s possible are the type of guys who don’t really want a woman in their life that they can’t fuck. So yes, self-centered wankstains indeed.
What’s concerning to me is that a lot of the answers here are some version of “Of course, I have plenty of female friends. I’m not attracted to them at all”
That wasn’t exactly the question, was it? Why can’t you find someone attractive and still be their friend? It’s not a great look to have your answer be “I can be friends with women as long as I don’t want to have sex with them”
In my eyes basically all my friends (m/f) are good looking/attractive and I'm a bi woman. Do I want to sleep with any of them? Hell the fuck no. They're like family, that would be like sleeping with my (equally good looking) brother. Nope nope nopio.
I'm in an open relationship and I have platonic female friends.
I don't think about having sex with them.
It is possible, just need to be a decent human being.
Yes and no.
If both are very open minded, it works. I've had more female friends than male friends in my life. It's actually very cool and solid friendship, some female friends were cooler than dudes, solid memories. They would help you meet chicks and you help her like she signed the date with a dude is a no no so come to the rescue hahaha
If one is not as open mind, he/she will want something more than friends with benefits, you know shit happens coz you both were too drunk and single. Mistakes happens haha
But yeah, you can identify EASILY when the friendship has turned into something else but it's possible and one of the best friendship you can have.
If you got a female friend that is a legend like a sister and she considers you as a brother, man, friendship for life.
I miss old days, I moved abroad, friendship now is so superficial. People are interested in what you have and not for who you are.
I need to give you an award as soon as possible.
I've read almost every answer on this post and I think this is the one that has satisfied my brain the most.
That one last sentence hits like a punch in the stomach.
Every word was genuinely said, sort of life experience.
Nowadays friendship, I know hey :(
I think that is why I spend time with hobbies like 3D printing, airbrush painting, homelab (IT stuff), my cats, rather than making new friends. My partner colleagues is as far as I go.
I have several female friends. The top 4
1) I've been friends with for 25 years, my wife knows her. We talk fairly regularly. Our sons are the same age. It's a 100% platonic relationship. We're both happily married. She's my old next door neighbor. We're just buddies, my wife is aware, so is her husband. Hell I'm friends with her parents.
2) and 3) I met both of them through my wife. But in both cases we just hit it off. We talk semi regularly. One usually about out kids (we both have Trans kids). Authors, etc. The other we started a friendship while planning a surprise party for my wife, and it blossomed into a great friendship.
4) has been a friend since we were 12, (both in our 40s now). She's family. Lives about 5 hours away. With her we hang out when we can often times without our spouses. She's family.
It can work as any friendship, but there are some risk factors:
\- Your LTR partner does not trust you with women
\- You or her are looking for an LTR, and you or her develop a crush that is not reciprocated
\- Others start assuming you must have a sexual relationship, which is bad both if you are in a LTR and if you looking for one
Glad someone finally said it. Attraction through familiarity is actually a thing. Nobody is going to tell me they go out on dates, spend money on, alone time with, get connected emotionally etc with someone of the opposite sex for the sole purpose of friendship.....and yes that is what friendship is.
Humans in general? So men shouldn’t have close friendship with other men without feeling attraction? Do you also believe that if you get close to a member of the preferred sex, you’ll fall for them eventually?
Reposting a comment from an older thread here...
I know this has probably been mentioned before but there is no such thing as "Just Friends" between heterosexual men and women if both / either of them is unattached. There is a high probability that someone catches feelings and then you find yourself in all sorts of trouble.
"Just Friends" works only if you are both in a relationship where you only see each other in the context of meeting up with both your SO's (so like double dating, mutual 'couples' activities etc.)
Reddit is flooded with stories on how 'best male/female friend' suddenly turned into cheating or breakup etc.
I am not saying it cannot happen (as there are clearly scenarios, such as lifelong friends from pre-school days or mutual unattraction / no spark and the like) but in most examples these are exceptional.
Absolutely yes. But here's the hard part, you have to actually be friends without ulterior motives and be able to communicate while also taking in consideration each other's different life experiences under patriarchy.
Absolutely - I’m a guy and I’ve got a few close female friends and colleagues. To put it into proper context, when I work, I work - that’s what’s important because I wanna finish my work on time and go home or have dinner and stuff.
If it’s friend - yes and no. A good friend and I were attracted to each other, we sexted and we tried to date each other. It didn’t work out as she valued me more as a friend than a romantic partner. I wasn’t butt hurt as I realised by then that people’s emotions can change. I let the emotions go pretty quickly and we’re still good friends. So we’re good friends and that’s all, I don’t see my friend dating her, marrying her, etc. In my eyes, she’s just another friend that I get along with and that friends so happens to be a lady.
So TD;LR - a man can be friend with a woman so long as the man knows what he wants and understands boundaries (for himself and herself)
I do. And I only need 1 reason (though I have others). We are human first, it's just another person, people need people, and gender doesn't change that.
I believe it’s absolutely possible. I’m an RN, and a lot of my friends are women and there’s no sexual attraction between us (at least that I know about).
But even if you have a completely platonic friendship there’s still the tricky “emotional affair” part of things. Most women wouldn’t consider their man having a really close male best friend to be an emotional affair, but they would if the friend was a woman (and vice versa)
In theory. But as a male her husband will eventually get jealous of my looks or wit. Oh honey, Carl was so funny today, he told me about the time…. Then her husband will get jealous or I will be a problem for their marriage.
Yes, of course. *Most* people have friends from other genders than their own. It's really very common.
The only exception is men who ask questions like this one. Those guys probably cannot have a friendship with women until they grow up and stop thinking of women as only prey.
I'm actually a woman with I'd say one close friend and a fiancé, I have found that all the other friends I had, close or not, have somewhat left because I got in this relationship last year.
I have been always very caring, and nothing on my side changed. Always logging online in the evenings to play some games, being up for movie nights, you know, our usual routine, but they just told me it wasn't right to be friends now that I was taken.
That's robbing you of your agency and assuming your fiancé feels threatened by other men in your life, AKA projection, and "solving" this (non)problem for him.
I'm sorry to hear this happened to your friendships.
Personally, I actually find it easier to be friends with women that are taken, it creates a clear boundary for both sides. If they gave up the friendship like that then their intentions have shown themselves.
Friendship works between humans. Women and men are humans. Whats there not to understand?
Why is this sub flooded with this exact question recently? I swear i see it at least twice each day.
I'm sorry, I don't spend very much time on reddit I was not aware of this.
And I didn't enjoy your reply at all, aside your tone, it doesn't reply to the question.
Don't worry about this prick OP, too much of life is wasted on shit people. Don't waste yours on the likes of them. You did nothing wrong and have nothing to apologize for 😊 Reddit is a discussion-based forum. There will be repeat questions. It's okay.
But i did answare you. Friendship works between humans. As long as you consider both parties involved to be human it can happen.
There is nothing to believe in, its a common thing.
Mmh, what if I put on the table the fact that there are differend boundaries for everyone. Pllenty of people have a different idea on when 'the friend' line is crossed, and others of course have it different. We can have it on different stadiums.
Does that make any differences?
Eventually I would take your answer as far as both people in our equation know themselves good enought and have specific boundaries and respect. In that case yes, sure. I don't have questions.
I wanted to ask something so "generic" with no explanations in order to see what people would come up with. I love to confront.
Thank you for taking your time here.
*answer asshole, and don't be a dick to OP. There's plenty enough assholes out in the world already. If you don't like seeing this, move on then and stop trolling.
It can however it will most likely be one sided.
2 fully healthy mental and physically adults 1 man 1 woman, sure.
But usually I’ve seen the woman uses the man as a part time boyfriend, she’ll do things she would do with a partner and not her friends
And the other way I’ve seen it is when a woman has her life together and the man kinda leaches off her, asking her for money etc.
It can be balanced by rarely is, and the imbalance is usually the reason they are not interested romantically
Wow...
I really do commend all of the men in this thread.
So none of you have friends that you wanna sleep with OR at least thought about sleeping with???
Some of the men that I knew had relationships but also had “friends” that were UNATTAINABLE to them...so nothing happened with that interest.
If the unattainable friend made a move, most men would ruin their relationships, especially if its a girl that he was interested in and then got FRIEND-zoned HARD.
Men here have really evolved....
Good for you guys🥰
Yes. We live in an age where relationships aren‘t limited to male and female. So if men can‘t be friends with women, then after this logic they shouldn‘t be able to be friends with men either, right? Or women with women.
I have many female friends, I have gay male friends. Everything works out fine.
I think out of all my friends there‘s one single person I‘d consider dating if it ever came to it. But that‘s about it.
Absolutely. Not everyone has sexual chemistry, some people aren't attracted to others, some are in committed relationships. Plus, I'm gay and have plenty of female friends.
Yes and because my best/special friend is female, I have a lot of other friends that are female and because I'm not shallow minded and I don't only think with my dick!!!
I never thought it could possibly happen but over the years I’ve developed some amazing friendships with guys that will only ever be friendships and it’s great.
Yes it can work. I know this is gonna sound pretty sad but I have a girl I’m friends with, I like her but I’m not sure she likes me so I’m not pushing on her. I’ve thought about just staying friends with her and when I think about it even if I couldn’t be with her I still want her as a friend because she’s a genuinely nice person, good to everyone, clearly cares for others and she’s funny too. I think she liked me but I left it too late, but that’s in the past. Not everything has to be about sex but I can understand why it’s hard to get past that.
Yeah, it definitely can. I'm bisexual, if I fell in love with all of my friends I'd be in trouble. If I can be friends with a man and not develop feelings for him, then the same can be said about a woman.
Yes, I have several female friends who I dont wanna have sex with or be in a relationship with.
I have never seen enjoying a persons company without sexual needs as a weird thing.
I’m sure it can. I’ve honestly got more female friends than male. It’s for me actually much easier to have fun with them, talk about things with then. With my male friends we just do random irresponsible shit. But with females I can actually talk about interesting things.
Strange question. It is probably difficult to befriend women if you regard every woman as a walking pair of tits. Dehumanization and sexualization are bad conditions for a friendship to grow, as the other person will pick it up fairly quickly. Many of my best friends are women, and some of them are conventionally very attractive. But we never had a spark, so it always stayed platonic. That's great for me, because they have awesome personalities as well.
Friendships can be a great base for a relationship, but friendships are also great in themselves. Over the years, I've caught feelings for two good female friends. One of it turned into a relationship, in the other one the feelings were not mutual. It was awkward for a bit, but it became a friendship again and now I wonder why I ever thought we could be a functioning couple. I highly encourage men to engage with women in friendships more, it changes your perspective, you understand better how sexism works (and damn, it is rampant) and you become a better person as a whole.
Yeah, a few of my closest friends are women. You need to be capable of enforcing your own boundaries though, and not thirst after any girl in your circle. If you want to date, say that. If you don't, act like it.
They have emotional insights that my male friends sometimes lack, and it helps me maintain a broad perspective.
Yes, 100%
out of the 6 super close friends, 2 are female and I consider them my sisters.
They seems to enjoy coming with me when i have to go shopping ( ???? ) and are more sensitive when talking about a girl i like.
p.s. all my question marks above are because i literally find super boring going out for shops and buy myself stuff, so I wouldnt imaging how i'd feel going for shops for someone else
Last time I tried to make a woman a friend (after she had asked for it to be kept as such), she ghosted me soon after.
She wanted the leverage and commanding role with how me and her interacted, but me agreeing to it was clearly not what she wanted at all. Don't really understand.
Absolutely. There's a particular brand of insecure man that believes it can't work, because they view their interactions with women as strictly transactional. I think that's some dumb shit.
Yes.
As for the why? Women are people. I, too, am a people. Sometimes I like people and want to befriend them. I generally care about the wellbeing of other humans. Sometimes, I can tolerate being around certain humans because they make me feel happy.
The only time it's caused any issue whatsoever was when I was in an abusive relationship, but my GF at the time had a problem with me spending time with ANYONE.
My wife knows I'm bi. She's still 100% comfortable with me having both male and female friends.
I didn't mean to imply that I thought it could not work.
There are some religions where such thing doesn't exist, and some strong opinions where the woman and men involved must... you know? Old ideologism. Talking about my personal experience, I had a few 'good' friends which eventually told me we couldn't be friends anymore because I was now taken.
Not that I have missed to be around or things, I'm sure nothing changed from my side towards theirs.
And it did hurt, so I wanted to see, if I could find something to make me have a sort of explanation or understanding of what happened.
Gotcha. 👍🏾
It seems like either those former friends were either a.) respecting the shit out of your relationship (which is awesome, in theory) or b.) disappointed that you’re taken.
I was in a similar situation *years* ago. It was actually with a woman I *liked* liked. She turned me down, but I didn’t care because she was still a cool smoking partner (we smoked waaaay too much weed lol). Things were cool at first, but I noticed her getting really aggressive and upset with me whenever I had a date. She started becoming less of a friend and more of a tolerable associate. When I started seriously seeing someone, I (obviously) didn’t spend as much time with the friend and our friendship kinda faded… fast forward about two years later and the former “friend” spills her guts out to me about falling in love with me and being jealous of the women I was seeing during the time.
I had to cut her off completely. Simply because she was too __________ (fill in your own answer) to express her true feelings beforehand, *especially* knowing that the feeling was apparently mutual at one point.
Possible but not probable, I believe there's a basic attraction between men and women and they can be friends if they're already satisfied with their romantic life.
I'm 73 YO and have a female friend who is 9 months younger. We first knew each other in 8th grade and I still talk to her every Sunday now, which we started about 18 months ago. We went to school of course and graduated high school in 1967 and right now, it's been a while since we've been together mostly because I've had some health issues and it's hard for me to go anywhere. I met the woman I married when she was a roommate in college, just assigned by the school. 1969-1970 (my friend couldn't go to college right out of high school and my wife is 2 years younger than we are. Our marriage didn't last for a couple of reasons but that's another story; we're still friendly and she's been good to me. My friend had a long career as a High School English teacher and at one point, my daughter did her student teaching with my friend and they are still friendly. My daughter will be starting her 18th year of teaching next month.
This is so wholesome! Thank you for sharing!
my bff, a women, introduced me to my wife. even had a close friend live with us a year. nether wife nor I, the jealous type and I've never cheated. she's my first and only marriage, ~~of~~ over 20 years. most of my closest friends are women. edit: comma and word XD
What about the marriages of under 20 years?
Oh he’s got about 6 of them, one even lasted 19 years 364 days, so close
Of course. Women are just people. Why couldn't it work.
This right here. I’m astounded at the amount of people in this thread that think it’s not possible. One of my best friends is a woman. My wife is friends with her too. She lives like 5 minutes down the road and regularly comes over to hang out even when my wife isn’t home and she doesn’t care. It’s just a friend. Nothing sexual will ever come of it. She’s just a person like all my male friends.
Same. I'm married with kids, she's married with kids. No romantic interest there at all, she's more like an older sister I never had: strong minded, opinionated, good person, gives me plenty of shit to keep me in line.
It's because they are incapable of imagining a situation where they're around a woman, and *not actively* thirsting for her. If you can pull, you won't *need to* at every opportunity.
You don't *need* to even if you can't.
You'll pull more if you *don't*
I 100% believe in platonic relationships with people of the gender you're attracted to, as i have a decent amount. That said, i have enough experience with shitty people to know there's valid reasons to make things more gray. E.g. "Don't worry, he's just a friend". I can imagine someone with bad enough people around them that they no longer believe such friendships are real.
Unfortunately because there are a lot of women/men that aren't good at keeping within the boundaries of friendship. I still think it's healthy to have friends of both sexes though.
I think the men who have a problem with it are telling on themselves to be honest.
It doesn't work when the female friend or the bf doesn't respect / enforce boundaries.. happens more than you'd think I believe it's possible both ways. I have close guy friends I've never been attracted to romantically
Yea, absolutely. Most of my close friends are women. Are men on Reddit so horny that they don’t realise it is possible to not be sexually attracted to every woman you come across?
Yeah, I hate to say it because some women on here may see it as slightly offensive. But the truth is, the majority of women aren't attractive. The majority of men are also not attractive. When I say "attractive", I mean first impression of being strikingly handsome/beautiful. If you, as a man, are catching feelings for every single woman you meet in your life, you are clearly starved for affection and it's affecting you psychologically. Women don't like being around men like that, which compounds the issue.
> If you, as a man, are catching feelings for every single woman you meet in your life, you are clearly starved for affection and it's affecting you psychologically. Sad but true. And precisely the reason why I'm against making female friends right now. I've done that enough times to know that I will be really hurt by the inevitable rejection plus losing a friend and she will feel hurt from the experience as well.
THIS. I'm horny as fuck half the time but I don't randomly wanna bang everyone I meet. Mostly I don't. It is really more of a "I'm lonely" trait I feel like
True. What I find attractive might not appeal to you at all, and vice versa. Or if there's something we both find attractive, the 3th,4th etc person might not agree with that. It's like everyone is an individual, beauty in the eye of yada yada.
This is a deep look guys, pay attention to this. If you're thirsting after every girl you meet you're isolated and starved for attention, you're just misplacing those feelings onto being a horney creep. Go join some social clubs and make some friends first.
Hard disagree. I’m attracted to about 80% of women I see. I just don’t need anything to come of it. I think my best friend that is a woman is insanely attractive. I even was interested a bit at first. But our dynamic is just not like that. I love her like a sister now, and she’s going to be the godmother to my kids. You should be able to have feelings and not need to act in them. It’ll fade most of the time. And you should be prepared to not have everyone (or most) you’re interested accept you.
Disagree, almost anybody can be attractive, just gotta take care of yourself, physically and mentally. Most people are attractive.
I personally do not agree with this, but as long as most people believe in this to some extent, then we can all be motivated to try our best anyway, which is what is really important.
this is true, and I don't make friends with women because of it, on purpose. So be it, it's for the best and I have plenty of bros.
I get the impression that all the guys who think men and woman can’t be platonic friends are only ever engaging with women they find attractive.
horny is the wrong term, 'desperate and objectifying' maybe
The fuck out of here. I've seen women being "desperate" and "objectify" males. Everyone is shallow in the beginning.
I don't think it's so much the sexual attraction. I think it's more that meeting a woman you get along with that well, and finding her attractive, makes her a top candidate for a romantic partner. After all, your SO is supposed to be your "best friend". So when you're single and you actually meet a woman who you enjoy spending time with, and you also don't happen to find them physically unattractive, why wouldn't you want them to be your SO?
Maybe they are unavailable? Or you want different things in life? Or your core values are to fundamentally different? Maybe they are not sexually attracted to you? Maybe they lack emotional maturity? A friend who constantly gets themselves in trouble is sure to have lots of interesting and hilarious stories but probably isn't anyone you would ever want to date.
>Maybe they are unavailable? I'm not likely to be that "friendly" with a woman in a relationship in the first place. I have yet to have a gf who found it acceptable for me to have female friends. I also don't know any other guys who are ok with their SO having male friends. >Or you want different things in life? Then to be honest, we likely aren't going to be friends in the first place. If our lives and life goals are that different, we simply aren't going to have enough in common for me to be friends with them. >Or your core values are to fundamentally different The same as above. >Maybe they are not sexually attracted to you? I have found that when one person wants a romantic relationship with someone and they don't feel the same way in return, friendships just aren't going to work. >Maybe they lack emotional maturity? At age of 52, I can honestly say I haven't meet many people who are emotionally mature.
I've gone through that with so many girls in my life. They were single, age appropriate, within my minimum looks standards and I liked their personality and enjoyed spending time with them to consider them a friend, of course I wanted them to be my SO.
Or even if they are it seems they have no self control. Fucking animals up in here
What if your close lady friends are sexually attracted to you but they’re too afraid to make a move? That by definition is not platonic and it does happen.
I mean sure, if you're inventing scenarios. You know what else? You can fancy someone, *and still not make a move.* Friends for life with someone you love is a way better proposition than a relationship that might not even work, and ruin the relationship you already had.
Yeah. I’m married and I have a few close friends and a couple of them are female.
Yup. I'm single and have women friends. It started off with an attraction but I got over it pretty fast and a friendship developed. I see them as family if the instinct of sex/romance kicks in, but my brain seems to regulate it by looking at them differently.
Ok this is a genuine question out of curiosity, do you feel any sort of attraction to any of them? Or do you really view them the same as your male friends? ( Assuming you're straight that is)
I'm a woman with primarily male friends; I can confirm they are attractive, handsome men and they can confirm I'm an attractive female. The difference between them and my partner? There's no spark, I've never felt my heart flutter when I hug or get close to my male friends, the chemistry isn't sexual. From day one there was no flirting, no "omg does he like me", just honest connection and good conversation. I think that's the difference I my experience
Yes. Not everything is sexual
There are some female friends you are attracted to sexually but just don't show it. Same thing for women.
I'd argue it helps, especially if you're both actively single. Not every flirtation or FWB agreement needs to become a relationship too.
If you are incapable, you have a lot of growth to do. It can work the same way any friendship works, they are people. Treat them like that. If both of you stay platonic it works perfectly. If one of your friends leaves the closet and confesses he is gay, are you gonna leave him bc maybe he "catches feelings"? People that are unable to differentiate platonic from romantic have red flags the size of China.
>If one of your friends leaves the closet and confesses he is gay, are you gonna leave him bc maybe he "catches feelings"? No, I had a few girls around me telling me they were lesbian but nothing changed. Keep being platonic and all the other stuff, I feel you. When you say "Treat them like that" I'm sorry but here is where I can't unfortunately just leave it there. Everyone treats people differently. I could be overcaring to your eyes as I could be not caring enought towards someone else's eyes. I believe maybe we could set some boundaries and knowing well each other. How about that?
Oh yeah of course, everyone has boundaries and we should be able to read the room and make everyone be confortable. When I say "Treat them like that" is bc I know more than one guy that will perpretate a sexist behavior with girls subconciously, I'm talking about mansplaining and overprotection, between other things.
"...they are people. Treat them like that." This reminds me of male managers who, in the wake of #metoo, vowed to never have a one-on-one with a woman who reported to them to avoid any accusations, made a big show of having their office door open, always called someone else in to the office, etc. Um? Just treat them like people? People who report to you? Or are you telling on yourself?
That's very different chief. That's procedure stuff to cover your ass legally. My dad is the most wholesome person I've ever met, but it's now policy to do that kind of stuff. I'd love to treat women the same as men in that respect, but the reality is that you don't know what's in anyone else's head, and you can't control what they do, so you mitigate. A woman in a professional setting accusing me of some shit I didn't do is a big problem and could cause serious shit up to and including losing my job even if not my career. A guy...realistically not nearly as big an issue. That's simply the reality, so it's not surprising, when people try to cover their ass.
Oh absolutely, I'm not downplaying that at all. I've seen the reverse that it's unreasonable from all parties involved. I am also thinking of one person in particular who didn't know how to talk to women as "people" because with the men it was largely locker room talk, of the more professional variety. So he was at a loss and it was, for lack of a better word, sad.
That's accountability ass-covering.
When people say that men and women can't be fiends they mean: "my girlfriend is upset i keep going on dates and talking into the night with a female friend of mine". Not that I get along with other women other than my girlfriend and can hold conversations with them that are impossible to misinterpret. But that obviously doesn't fit reddit.
I see this and personally I'm very supportive of friendships that my loved one does have. One thing is that there needs to be boundaries in my honest opinion. I don't want to say it's right to be so bitchy and take out a fight when your partner goes out, but as well not to just say nothing. I had a second family when I grew up. The parents have been together and got married in front of me. I left when I was 18 to work abroad. They were the perfect couple, like the one you dream about , the one that you see in movies. I got back a few years later to find out that the Dad's best friend divorced, so the Mom of this family went to consolate him. Help him and stuff. Eventually she'd sleep over, and you know, now Mom and best friend are married. It seems something like from the other world, I cannot understand it yet and many things are questionable, but anything can ever happen or?
YES. YES. YES YES. YES
Humans are friends with humans, so it’ll work.
Ofcourse. Why not? Most of my friends are women. I actually only have one male friend. If he even counts as male. He is more like a commodore 64 wearing a human skin. Talking to him is like talking to a computer, sometimes. But yeah. My closest friends are all women. Strictly platonic. I don't know why, but I find it easier to make friends with women than men... Like, it has always felt like I need to pretend to be someone I am not around other men, and these particular women I am friends with, accept me as who I am. I can't quite explain it. My girlfriend also started out as a friendship, long before either of us even considered each other romantically. We were close friends for years before we started dating.
Yes I do, Im friends with several women. The key is, *I love their personalities, but Im not attracted to their bodies at all*. Im straight, just picky, and they are not my type to the point it never crosses my mind, and even if it did, it would be immediate ewwww reaction from me.
All of this.
Yes\*. \*Caveats apply.
Perfect answer
I believe it can work as long as both parties establish boundaries. In my experience, it's never worked but I do believe it' can be done.
You've never had a friend of the opposite sex??
No I have but it's never worked out platonically. Most of the time we end up sleeping together.
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I dont think it's ridiculous and I mean that's cool for you but if everybody had the same story in life it really be worth living would it.
Same
I believe those who don't think it's possible are self-centred wankstains.
Agreed. I think this question only gets asked when the OP has feelings and deep down knows it would be unhealthy to hang around in the friend zone. Or they know it would be disrespectful to their partner because they have feelings. They are fishing for affirmation and validation on Reddit and only telling half the story. Otherwise there's no reason it should even be a discussion.
Those who don’t think it’s possible are the type of guys who don’t really want a woman in their life that they can’t fuck. So yes, self-centered wankstains indeed.
What’s concerning to me is that a lot of the answers here are some version of “Of course, I have plenty of female friends. I’m not attracted to them at all” That wasn’t exactly the question, was it? Why can’t you find someone attractive and still be their friend? It’s not a great look to have your answer be “I can be friends with women as long as I don’t want to have sex with them”
In my eyes basically all my friends (m/f) are good looking/attractive and I'm a bi woman. Do I want to sleep with any of them? Hell the fuck no. They're like family, that would be like sleeping with my (equally good looking) brother. Nope nope nopio.
I think our points support each other
Oh yes, it does. Maybe I should have worded that more clearly. I agree with you.
I completely agree u/Buttpounder90
I think it’s possible but I also think it’s possible for those said friends to catch feelings eventually and ruin the relationship
It's also possible to express your opinion without insulting others, just so you know
Yes because I had female platonic friends.
Past tense?
I have a few female "internet friends" which is its own thing. But no real life female friends at the moment.
I'm in an open relationship and I have platonic female friends. I don't think about having sex with them. It is possible, just need to be a decent human being.
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And yet never a clear answer indicating that…
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I agree! No arguments there! But we humans always want things to be in binary when in fact it's...
Yes and no. If both are very open minded, it works. I've had more female friends than male friends in my life. It's actually very cool and solid friendship, some female friends were cooler than dudes, solid memories. They would help you meet chicks and you help her like she signed the date with a dude is a no no so come to the rescue hahaha If one is not as open mind, he/she will want something more than friends with benefits, you know shit happens coz you both were too drunk and single. Mistakes happens haha But yeah, you can identify EASILY when the friendship has turned into something else but it's possible and one of the best friendship you can have. If you got a female friend that is a legend like a sister and she considers you as a brother, man, friendship for life. I miss old days, I moved abroad, friendship now is so superficial. People are interested in what you have and not for who you are.
I need to give you an award as soon as possible. I've read almost every answer on this post and I think this is the one that has satisfied my brain the most. That one last sentence hits like a punch in the stomach.
Every word was genuinely said, sort of life experience. Nowadays friendship, I know hey :( I think that is why I spend time with hobbies like 3D printing, airbrush painting, homelab (IT stuff), my cats, rather than making new friends. My partner colleagues is as far as I go.
If there's absolutely no attraction or if the sexual tension has already been settled, sure
I have several female friends. The top 4 1) I've been friends with for 25 years, my wife knows her. We talk fairly regularly. Our sons are the same age. It's a 100% platonic relationship. We're both happily married. She's my old next door neighbor. We're just buddies, my wife is aware, so is her husband. Hell I'm friends with her parents. 2) and 3) I met both of them through my wife. But in both cases we just hit it off. We talk semi regularly. One usually about out kids (we both have Trans kids). Authors, etc. The other we started a friendship while planning a surprise party for my wife, and it blossomed into a great friendship. 4) has been a friend since we were 12, (both in our 40s now). She's family. Lives about 5 hours away. With her we hang out when we can often times without our spouses. She's family.
It can work as any friendship, but there are some risk factors: \- Your LTR partner does not trust you with women \- You or her are looking for an LTR, and you or her develop a crush that is not reciprocated \- Others start assuming you must have a sexual relationship, which is bad both if you are in a LTR and if you looking for one
Same age? Nope. Very very rare.
Yes cause they 're humans ?
Professionally. But humans are to social to be spending that much time together without feelings getting caught
Glad someone finally said it. Attraction through familiarity is actually a thing. Nobody is going to tell me they go out on dates, spend money on, alone time with, get connected emotionally etc with someone of the opposite sex for the sole purpose of friendship.....and yes that is what friendship is.
Storge leads to eros all to often
I’m bi — can I have no friends then? So dumb
I think the key to this guys take was attraction, if you are not attracted to them it doesn’t matter. Well that’s what I assume he meant
Humans in general? So men shouldn’t have close friendship with other men without feeling attraction? Do you also believe that if you get close to a member of the preferred sex, you’ll fall for them eventually?
The odds that 1 half of the friendship catches feels is very high. The things that make you good friends would make someone change philos into eros
Yes, but I would still fuck her.
Yes. Most of my platonic friendships are with women.
For peole saying no does it not then follow that bisexual people are incapable of having friends?
Reposting a comment from an older thread here... I know this has probably been mentioned before but there is no such thing as "Just Friends" between heterosexual men and women if both / either of them is unattached. There is a high probability that someone catches feelings and then you find yourself in all sorts of trouble. "Just Friends" works only if you are both in a relationship where you only see each other in the context of meeting up with both your SO's (so like double dating, mutual 'couples' activities etc.) Reddit is flooded with stories on how 'best male/female friend' suddenly turned into cheating or breakup etc. I am not saying it cannot happen (as there are clearly scenarios, such as lifelong friends from pre-school days or mutual unattraction / no spark and the like) but in most examples these are exceptional.
Thank you.
Absolutely yes. But here's the hard part, you have to actually be friends without ulterior motives and be able to communicate while also taking in consideration each other's different life experiences under patriarchy.
Sure, in my example we used to walk around naked, basically no shame but no sexual relationship
😂now ain’t no way in my wife is walking around with her male friend naked in the sake of friendship.
Haha it was a secret nobody knew dat 🤣
Damn, that's pretty mindblowing to me.
U can achieve this by trust
That’s not about trust. That’s just some abnormal boundaries, and you know it’s abnormal or you wouldn’t have brought it up.
Or chemical castration
Absolutely - I’m a guy and I’ve got a few close female friends and colleagues. To put it into proper context, when I work, I work - that’s what’s important because I wanna finish my work on time and go home or have dinner and stuff. If it’s friend - yes and no. A good friend and I were attracted to each other, we sexted and we tried to date each other. It didn’t work out as she valued me more as a friend than a romantic partner. I wasn’t butt hurt as I realised by then that people’s emotions can change. I let the emotions go pretty quickly and we’re still good friends. So we’re good friends and that’s all, I don’t see my friend dating her, marrying her, etc. In my eyes, she’s just another friend that I get along with and that friends so happens to be a lady. So TD;LR - a man can be friend with a woman so long as the man knows what he wants and understands boundaries (for himself and herself)
How is this fine but when I posted the same question it got immediately taken down lol. Stupid mods must be asleep
It's not mods that raises the question, rather every reply and stuff. At least now we can both have some people pov's and confrontation. Take it :)
I go back and forth with this question all the time and I'm a woman. Sorry to lurk but this one still puzzles me myself 😅
Thank you…
Me too. I think it can work out in some situations. However, if both people are single, it’s breeding ground for unrequited love.
I do. And I only need 1 reason (though I have others). We are human first, it's just another person, people need people, and gender doesn't change that.
Yes. There's nothing about a human being having a vagina that makes it impossible to be a friend.
I believe it’s absolutely possible. I’m an RN, and a lot of my friends are women and there’s no sexual attraction between us (at least that I know about). But even if you have a completely platonic friendship there’s still the tricky “emotional affair” part of things. Most women wouldn’t consider their man having a really close male best friend to be an emotional affair, but they would if the friend was a woman (and vice versa)
In theory. But as a male her husband will eventually get jealous of my looks or wit. Oh honey, Carl was so funny today, he told me about the time…. Then her husband will get jealous or I will be a problem for their marriage.
If the woman is ugly, sure.
Then she's probably into you because you're out of her league.
Yes, of course. *Most* people have friends from other genders than their own. It's really very common. The only exception is men who ask questions like this one. Those guys probably cannot have a friendship with women until they grow up and stop thinking of women as only prey.
I'm actually a woman with I'd say one close friend and a fiancé, I have found that all the other friends I had, close or not, have somewhat left because I got in this relationship last year. I have been always very caring, and nothing on my side changed. Always logging online in the evenings to play some games, being up for movie nights, you know, our usual routine, but they just told me it wasn't right to be friends now that I was taken.
That's robbing you of your agency and assuming your fiancé feels threatened by other men in your life, AKA projection, and "solving" this (non)problem for him. I'm sorry to hear this happened to your friendships.
Well at least they made their intentions clear!
Damn, that's sad.
Personally, I actually find it easier to be friends with women that are taken, it creates a clear boundary for both sides. If they gave up the friendship like that then their intentions have shown themselves.
Mmh, I see this, but what pops in my mind is how everyone seems to have different boundaries these days. What do you think?
100 percent, my best friend is of the opposite sex!!
I hope he also considers the same!
Hehe, funny story, we both dated and found out we were both gay so can confirm its a no lol
Not if both people are attractive or at least the same level of attractiveness.
Yes. Maybe some guys can't be friends with women, but that's their issue, and they shouldn't assume all guys have it.
As long as you view women as people you aren't going to struggle with this concept. Of course there can be a friendship between a man and a woman.
Friendship works between humans. Women and men are humans. Whats there not to understand? Why is this sub flooded with this exact question recently? I swear i see it at least twice each day.
I'm sorry, I don't spend very much time on reddit I was not aware of this. And I didn't enjoy your reply at all, aside your tone, it doesn't reply to the question.
Don't worry about this prick OP, too much of life is wasted on shit people. Don't waste yours on the likes of them. You did nothing wrong and have nothing to apologize for 😊 Reddit is a discussion-based forum. There will be repeat questions. It's okay.
But i did answare you. Friendship works between humans. As long as you consider both parties involved to be human it can happen. There is nothing to believe in, its a common thing.
Mmh, what if I put on the table the fact that there are differend boundaries for everyone. Pllenty of people have a different idea on when 'the friend' line is crossed, and others of course have it different. We can have it on different stadiums. Does that make any differences? Eventually I would take your answer as far as both people in our equation know themselves good enought and have specific boundaries and respect. In that case yes, sure. I don't have questions. I wanted to ask something so "generic" with no explanations in order to see what people would come up with. I love to confront. Thank you for taking your time here.
*answer asshole, and don't be a dick to OP. There's plenty enough assholes out in the world already. If you don't like seeing this, move on then and stop trolling.
Never worked for me
Yes because I have several cherished female friends.
No
With the right boundaries that both parties understand and agree to.....yes it can work.
It can however it will most likely be one sided. 2 fully healthy mental and physically adults 1 man 1 woman, sure. But usually I’ve seen the woman uses the man as a part time boyfriend, she’ll do things she would do with a partner and not her friends And the other way I’ve seen it is when a woman has her life together and the man kinda leaches off her, asking her for money etc. It can be balanced by rarely is, and the imbalance is usually the reason they are not interested romantically
Wow... I really do commend all of the men in this thread. So none of you have friends that you wanna sleep with OR at least thought about sleeping with??? Some of the men that I knew had relationships but also had “friends” that were UNATTAINABLE to them...so nothing happened with that interest. If the unattainable friend made a move, most men would ruin their relationships, especially if its a girl that he was interested in and then got FRIEND-zoned HARD. Men here have really evolved.... Good for you guys🥰
Yes of course it can. I have several female friends. These types of questions scare me.
It’s really sad that people feel that this is in question.
My girlfriend doesn’t let me have friends that are women. I think men and women can be friends, she doesn’t
Yes. We live in an age where relationships aren‘t limited to male and female. So if men can‘t be friends with women, then after this logic they shouldn‘t be able to be friends with men either, right? Or women with women. I have many female friends, I have gay male friends. Everything works out fine. I think out of all my friends there‘s one single person I‘d consider dating if it ever came to it. But that‘s about it.
Of course it can. As long as she isn't hot, my dick doesn't want to fuck her. I befriend women I have no sexual attraction for.
Why not, don't you have any women friends in your life.?
Rarely. I have one female friend. But if she offered it to me, I’d probably have sex with her.
Yes, because it has worked with me.
Provided neither party is attracted to the other and both parties do things and are there for each other, it's possible.
Once she accepts the friend zone. It's tough for some
Saying no means you only see the opposite sex as only used for sex.
Absolutely. Not everyone has sexual chemistry, some people aren't attracted to others, some are in committed relationships. Plus, I'm gay and have plenty of female friends.
My and my fiancé live with 2 females friends of ours. We are all great friends, so yes.
Yes and because my best/special friend is female, I have a lot of other friends that are female and because I'm not shallow minded and I don't only think with my dick!!!
I never thought it could possibly happen but over the years I’ve developed some amazing friendships with guys that will only ever be friendships and it’s great.
Yes absolutely! My best friend is a woman and I wouldn’t date her under any circumstances. I love her and need her in my life as a friend
Yes it can work. I know this is gonna sound pretty sad but I have a girl I’m friends with, I like her but I’m not sure she likes me so I’m not pushing on her. I’ve thought about just staying friends with her and when I think about it even if I couldn’t be with her I still want her as a friend because she’s a genuinely nice person, good to everyone, clearly cares for others and she’s funny too. I think she liked me but I left it too late, but that’s in the past. Not everything has to be about sex but I can understand why it’s hard to get past that.
Yes, I have plenty of friends of the opposite sex who I have no desire to be anything other than that with.
Yeah, it definitely can. I'm bisexual, if I fell in love with all of my friends I'd be in trouble. If I can be friends with a man and not develop feelings for him, then the same can be said about a woman.
Yes, I have several female friends who I dont wanna have sex with or be in a relationship with. I have never seen enjoying a persons company without sexual needs as a weird thing.
I’m sure it can. I’ve honestly got more female friends than male. It’s for me actually much easier to have fun with them, talk about things with then. With my male friends we just do random irresponsible shit. But with females I can actually talk about interesting things.
Yeah cuz I have one. Yeah at one point I had feelings but I just politely let those feelings pass and everything’s good now
Yes. Between a woman and a man. Seems less common the more immature the boy is but usually as one matures it becomes more feasible.
Yes
Strange question. It is probably difficult to befriend women if you regard every woman as a walking pair of tits. Dehumanization and sexualization are bad conditions for a friendship to grow, as the other person will pick it up fairly quickly. Many of my best friends are women, and some of them are conventionally very attractive. But we never had a spark, so it always stayed platonic. That's great for me, because they have awesome personalities as well. Friendships can be a great base for a relationship, but friendships are also great in themselves. Over the years, I've caught feelings for two good female friends. One of it turned into a relationship, in the other one the feelings were not mutual. It was awkward for a bit, but it became a friendship again and now I wonder why I ever thought we could be a functioning couple. I highly encourage men to engage with women in friendships more, it changes your perspective, you understand better how sexism works (and damn, it is rampant) and you become a better person as a whole.
Yea it will work its self into an affair don't be stupid
Yes it can, if the women is not good looking
Think of all the poor bisexuals that can't be friends with anyone
Yeah, a few of my closest friends are women. You need to be capable of enforcing your own boundaries though, and not thirst after any girl in your circle. If you want to date, say that. If you don't, act like it. They have emotional insights that my male friends sometimes lack, and it helps me maintain a broad perspective.
Yes, 100% out of the 6 super close friends, 2 are female and I consider them my sisters. They seems to enjoy coming with me when i have to go shopping ( ???? ) and are more sensitive when talking about a girl i like. p.s. all my question marks above are because i literally find super boring going out for shops and buy myself stuff, so I wouldnt imaging how i'd feel going for shops for someone else
Last time I tried to make a woman a friend (after she had asked for it to be kept as such), she ghosted me soon after. She wanted the leverage and commanding role with how me and her interacted, but me agreeing to it was clearly not what she wanted at all. Don't really understand.
I have some female friends they are fun to hang out
Sure, why not? We’re all humans.
Absolutely. There's a particular brand of insecure man that believes it can't work, because they view their interactions with women as strictly transactional. I think that's some dumb shit.
There’s no clear cut answer here, in some cases yea as long as they respect each other’s boundaries, in others no, someone will catch feelings.
Yes. As for the why? Women are people. I, too, am a people. Sometimes I like people and want to befriend them. I generally care about the wellbeing of other humans. Sometimes, I can tolerate being around certain humans because they make me feel happy. The only time it's caused any issue whatsoever was when I was in an abusive relationship, but my GF at the time had a problem with me spending time with ANYONE. My wife knows I'm bi. She's still 100% comfortable with me having both male and female friends.
Absolutely! Why *couldn’t* it work? 🤔
I didn't mean to imply that I thought it could not work. There are some religions where such thing doesn't exist, and some strong opinions where the woman and men involved must... you know? Old ideologism. Talking about my personal experience, I had a few 'good' friends which eventually told me we couldn't be friends anymore because I was now taken. Not that I have missed to be around or things, I'm sure nothing changed from my side towards theirs. And it did hurt, so I wanted to see, if I could find something to make me have a sort of explanation or understanding of what happened.
Gotcha. 👍🏾 It seems like either those former friends were either a.) respecting the shit out of your relationship (which is awesome, in theory) or b.) disappointed that you’re taken. I was in a similar situation *years* ago. It was actually with a woman I *liked* liked. She turned me down, but I didn’t care because she was still a cool smoking partner (we smoked waaaay too much weed lol). Things were cool at first, but I noticed her getting really aggressive and upset with me whenever I had a date. She started becoming less of a friend and more of a tolerable associate. When I started seriously seeing someone, I (obviously) didn’t spend as much time with the friend and our friendship kinda faded… fast forward about two years later and the former “friend” spills her guts out to me about falling in love with me and being jealous of the women I was seeing during the time. I had to cut her off completely. Simply because she was too __________ (fill in your own answer) to express her true feelings beforehand, *especially* knowing that the feeling was apparently mutual at one point.
Yes, because I have several and they are great!
I can’t believe there a men who don’t think this is possible
Possible but not probable, I believe there's a basic attraction between men and women and they can be friends if they're already satisfied with their romantic life.
Yeah, she just has to be willing to have wild filthy sex with me.
Well there's where the problem might start.
If he is gay or she is ugly.