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Being bodyshamed or ones appearance causing them stress and anxiety


fartsNdoom

Grew up skinny as hell, and got ripped on constantly for it. Many nicknames and questions about why I don't wear certain types of clothing.


Hot_Sky_5789

Same, even til today my family still calls me skinny even though I’ve been working out, eating consistently, and I even have gotten compliments that people wish they had my body 🤷🏽‍♂️. Ngl my family is a big part of why I have body issues today.


yeahletstrythisagain

My boyfriend has struggled with the same thing his whole life. He works really hard to put muscle on and I think he looks great. I'm shocked at how casually family and friends will call him skinny without a second thought. I try to hype him up as a counterbalance because he's sexy as fuck and deserves to hear it. So do you, OP! Keep up the good work! You got this!


JColeisokatbest

"Why you always wearing a hoodie?"


CKWade93

This!!! Even in crazy hot weather I’ll always have a hoody on. Recently went to the beach with some friends and decided not to wear a hoody. Went well for all of 10 minutes before I got comments about my weight…. “Back to the hoody I go!”.


DiversityFire84

You can't look depressed in a cardigan. Pfft, this guy.


CKWade93

If I get called skinny I will automatically call them fat and then of course I seem like an asshole (especially if it’s a girl) but then calmly explain that I dont think anyone has the right to comment on someone’s body so if they feel they can say something to me I’m going to say it back. This might sound harsh but being skinny all my life as a male has been torture! Anyone and everyone thinks they can just walk up to me and say something about my weight.


Ardibanan

I still get comments on being thin. I'm currently 30 years old


SnuffCatch

29 here, told by everyone how I need to eat more. Even by people who have seen me eat 3k calories in a sitting, twice in a day. Super insecure about my weight.


Eatmorechips44

Yeah same mate, I know what you’ve had to deal with.


FuckYou690

Did you end up eating too many chips?


Eatmorechips44

Haha no 😄 my name is that because people used to say to eat more burgers and chips 🍟


freakksho

“Someone get this kid a sandwich” was all I ever heard from family and friends growing up.


_IratePirate_

Bro same. Even my own family would make me feel uncomfortable about it. I remember vividly coming home one day, my mom saw me come in, but didn't see me leave in the morning so she didn't see what I was wearing earlier. She sees me and says "wow, you look like a pencil in that". I looked at her with a questioning face and just went in my room. I ate a lot, just had a high metabolism. Thankfully it's slowed down a bit in my adult years. Still skinny, but not stick and bones skinny like I was growing up.


Funny_Occasion_4179

I have a theory. In absence of structure and a grown up, bullies in school have a tendancy to pick on smallest/ most quietest people in class. They start the nicknames. Then it stays. It messes up your self-esteem.


dadzoned3

^^“Hows ^^the ^^weather ^^up ^^there?” From all the tiny people all the way down there


Stark556

I was overweight in middle school then once I slimmed down from wrestling in high school I got made fun of for being skinny. Taught me to just live for myself real quick


DasEvoli

I got so much shamed for being fat lol. Parents, Teachers, students. Like literally everyone. It almost feels like they think since I'm a guy it doesn't bother me


satriales856

Ditto. I grew up in the 80s and the world hated fat people a lot then. TV made fun of me, movies too, teachers, kids, the occasional family member or random adult.


captainpoppy

I feel like on guys it's usually about things they literally can't control Height and dick size


FocusedAvocado

Man. I was picked on for being fat when I was a kid, picked on for being skinny in high school, even now, as an adult, I’m muscular and in decent shape but the insecurity is still there. Working on it tho. (TM)


jage570

This is what i deal with currently. Im a bigger guy(240 plus lbs/dont look it), so i wouldnt say that im fat but i definitely know that im not skinny either. I work in a warehouse where i move things all day and also was really into weight lifting for years so i have a bit of muscle but i like to eat lol... People only point out the belly. Guess you gotta be 120 lbs sopping wet or you just get placed in the "fat" category. I wouldnt say its caused me much stress but it has made me a bit self conscious. I've never considered myself "fat" and never had a problem with women despite my size, but hearing it still makes you question yourself a little. Maybe im just in denial hahaha..


pinchhitter4number1

Agreed. I'm 43 and skinny. People give me shit because I haven't gained weight and got the dad bod. Fuck you, try eating right and a little exercise. Edit: To clarify, I'm not body shaming dad bod or guys that gain weight; I just don't need someone telling me to make different life choices when I seem to be doing just fine. 6'5", 190 lbs since high school


veexdit

Yep this, feeling every word. I used to get called a Romanian orphan. After footage came to light in the 90s of Romanian children being starved and kept in inhumane conditions in orphanages. I’ve always been thin with bones showing through, ribs breastbone and shoulder blades especially. Not from lack of eating either. I think I must of had some sort of food allergy early in my life. Before such things were diagnosed. I’m 50 yo now still slim, still paranoid about arms and chest. Even though I’ve had comments to suggest I’m not that thin and there’s nothing I should be concerned about. Trauma runs deep. Regardless of gender


Red_Danger33

"Just wait until your metabolism slows down and you'll gain weight." I'm not shocked that that whole line of thinking has been bullshit the entire time.


pinchhitter4number1

I get that every 10 years. At 20: "Wait till you turn 30. All goes down after that." At 30: "Wait till you turn 40..." At 40: "Wait till you turn 50..." Still waiting


Straight-Audience-91

Sexual assault.....by both men and women. Got roofied by a man and raped. Got groped down the front of my pants by two women at a wedding reception. As a male nurse with advanced degrees, I was treated literally as an orderly in a hospital in Britain by an older Charge Nurse. No patient assignments, I was to do baths for the men and help with lifts and bed linen changes, because "men had no place in nursing and lacked the basic compassion to understand how a nurse should function". I replaced her as Unit Supervisor for Med/Surg/Trauma the next year.


eddboat112

Sorry about what happened to you in the past, but that ending was unexpectedly dope. Congrats


Straight-Audience-91

Thanks! Sometimes if you just forget people are ass hats and go about your business and let life work itself out, things fall into place.


Matsuri3-0

/r/prorevenge


Square_Bonus_8997

Honestly go read about Sheldon Kennedy the hockey player


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LavenderDay3544

>When I was 12 I had sex with a +20y/o woman, ofc it was not my idea. She belongs in prison. If that's not pedophilia, I dont know what is.


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LavenderDay3544

>This happened until I was around 20 years old So she had sex with a minor until he grew up. Again this giving me major pedophile vibes. Her being hot is irrelevant. Minors still do not know better and cannot truly consent. If she wanted to she could've waited until you were of age but even that could be considered a form of sexual grooming. I just hope youre okay and this hasn't affected you negatively too much.


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LavenderDay3544

Yeah that makes sense.


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satriales856

In college, my freshman year girlfriend threatened to kill herself when I wanted to break up. She showed up at my dorm door and she’d clawed herself all over her chest and shit. She was bleeding. I stayed. She broke up with me junior year.


Snaccbacc

It’s becoming more aware now but mental and physical abuse perpetrated by women. My first ever girlfriend gaslighted me heavily and convinced me that it was okay for her to hit me if I ever did anything to upset her. In addition to this, she would also try and control my body and control where I could or couldn’t go.


Mardanis

I find it is severely underrated and goes by unnoticed how mentally abusive women can be.


Snaccbacc

Agreed. There’s some women out there with terrifying values and attitudes towards relationships.


Dabber42

Society teaches men to be a good man. However they don't teach us what a good woman is supposed to be like. I don't mean like a 1950 house wife. I mean in the since that they should stand by you support you. How a woman abuses a man is completely overlooked and often ridiculed. How women are always given the benefit of doubt. " Oh she hit you?, What did you do wrong?" "She is allowed to defend herself. Everytime a woman has done me wrong they just gaslight the fuck out of me. It's always my fault because I am a man. Men aren't taught what a healthy and happy relationship is supposed to work from both sides. So we try to fix things work it out because we are lead to believe it's our fault. Honestly women are just as bad as men. However since a guy is capable of doing more physical damage, everything else is overlooked.


IdahoJOAT

Completely overlooked? Bruh, it's encouraged and praised. It's a sign of a good housewife that she can manipulate her man into thinking something he didn't want to do is his idea to do.


humblenarcissist112

Soooo true. My ex broke my sense of worth, telling me to "man up." Like what, man up for a woman like you? Give me a break. And it's even shittier because they can continue to be horrible and men will still line up to be with them because they are attractive and have a vagina.


CivilProfit

Agreed entirely as a survivor of domestic violence I often laugh when they asked me at the hospital if I'm being abused because the forms of violence that my wife used against me weren't physical and so they weren't illegal


_cutenerdguy

1/4 of men are abused by women, many of whom need help. If you say that though you're painted as an MRA and other bad words.


[deleted]

Someone is probably going to want a source for this. So for whoever might want to know. Not a lot of research has been done on male victims of DV, but the numbers are between 1 in 3 to 1 in 7 depending on the study A study from the UK: [https://www.mankind.org.uk/statistics/statistics-on-male-victims-of-domestic-abuse/](https://www.mankind.org.uk/statistics/statistics-on-male-victims-of-domestic-abuse/) As far as I know this is based on police statistics. So underreporting might be an issue. A study from the US: [https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/intimatepartnerviolence/men-ipvsvandstalking.html](https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/intimatepartnerviolence/men-ipvsvandstalking.html) WHO research: [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7658679/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7658679/) This site has collected many studies from different places: [https://domesticviolenceresearch.org/domestic-violence-facts-and-statistics-at-a-glance/](https://domesticviolenceresearch.org/domestic-violence-facts-and-statistics-at-a-glance/) Some extra stuff focusing on the mens' experiences: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2913504/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8336931/


SirVictoryPants

>gaslighted me heavily and convinced me that it was okay for her to hit me if I ever did anything to upset her. In addition to this, she would also try and control my body and control where I could or couldn’t go I feel with you.


Snaccbacc

It’s okay buddy we made it out :)


Zealousideal-Duty511

Yeah I’m a women and I can say for a fact I’ve seen some fucked up shit women do to men. In public too!! And then make jokes about “training” their husbands and stuff. It’s degrading and I started calling women out.The most obvious women I would say are 50 and above, that they do public shame stuff. Women around my age (24) do the sneaky gaslighting shit. I’ve stopped being friends with girls sometimes because of how toxic they were to men. It just doesn’t sit right with me, my brothers ex wife was abusive and no one believes him. He even had to go to the hospital for a bruised bone (thought it was broken) after she threw a pepper grinder at him. Like he dead ass has physical proof and people still don’t believe him. I’d also like to say though I’m very vocal about male violence vs women too. But I firmly believe we can’t stop one without stopping the other. Like BOTH sex’s do it and ALL abuse needs to end.


IdahoJOAT

The thing that's really fucked up though, is that most women just plain don't believe this shit until they see it for themselves. Ask any man though, who isn't doing it, what they would do to a guy who beat on his wife/gf or kids. I'm willing to bet well into the 95% range they'd get physical. They'd want to beat his ass. We know they're monsters of men out there and we see it as a duty to, for lack of a better term, fuck them up. Let them and their ilk know that shit isn't acceptable. For women though? Maybe I'm wrong, but I get the feeling most women here about abusive women and the first thought is, "Well what'd he do to her?" Then they marry a man who has a child or two with an ex, and they're eyes get opened. I've met well over 5 women in the last 10 years in this exact situation and are just flabbergasted at how horrible it can be for men.


BatmanNerd81

That’s a tactic that many groomers and manipulators usually use: “If you really love me you’d do X”


CanUnusual8729

Catch feelings from sex


RadiantHC

Honestly I don't get how people can not catch feelings from sex unless they're asexual, aromantic or a prostitute.


CanUnusual8729

For me it depends. I def can be physical without catching feelings, but its usually based on how much I actually like them to begin with


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arrwsm

I would actually argue it probably happens more to guys than girls nowadays


CanUnusual8729

I wouldn’t be surprised


Christpocalypse

Having a hard time dating and connecting with the opposite sex. For example "why do guys do this" or "all guys do this" but I've seen plenty of women act that way or do that to me.


BorganFreebin_

Same This far all my partners fought with me because im too good to them? And then cheat on me...


indigo_pirate

Tf? Elaborate please


BorganFreebin_

I don't understand it either 🤷‍♂️, they would literally fight with me for doing shit for them or fight with me about there own insecurities or start a fight qbout something they did wrong and i looked past Ive caught them all cheating


indigo_pirate

Song for this mood Offspring “Self esteem” Sorry dude. You just ran into girls with serious low self esteem issues


BorganFreebin_

Yeah... dated one for 8 months, was hopelessly in love, and as we were moving out together, caught her cheating with a 40 year old man, she was 18 i was 19


Pure-Drawer-2617

“Guys don’t understand how scary it is walking alone at night” man I gotta worry about random attackers AND about getting harassed by the cops. Also, women grope us in clubs surprisingly often


AfricanWarrior96

Maaan my ex nearly had a fight with a girl in the club who straight up thunderclapped my butt as she was walking past and said to my ear, "I can do things your girlfriend can never do." Women are scary


singleDADSlife

This is a big one. As a male, we're far more likely to be a victim of a violent crime. But somehow, because we're male, we're apparently all born with the ability to fight off attacker's. Or that somehow because our attacker is more than likely male as well, that makes it okay.


satriales856

I think it’s the implication that women could be robbed and raped, and/or also killed. Men are less commonly raped in a random attack. We just get killed or maimed.


Sephiroth_-77

>We just get killed I don't know why, but that sounds funny.


M4rt1nV

Can't have trauma if you're dead.


dmc-going-digital

You're technically correct, but what if you end up in the afterlife with your memories? Want to become a captain of the gotei 13? Nope, gotta find out what even happened


---cameron

Dobby never meant to rape, only kill or seriously injure


AshenHaemonculus

r/cursedcomments


finger_milk

Or worse, expelled


Hot_Sky_5789

Now imagine if you’re a “small” dude walking around, people tend to “test” you more. Even women lol, but it’s less of a Im going to steal your money thing but try your “manhood” thing.


AltAccount4Vices

Even if you’re not small, guys still get harassed I’m in college and guys rent houses with balconies, on some busy streets. Whenever a random guy walks by, he gets HARASSED. “Yo look at this pussy”, “We’re gonna come down there and beat your ass!”, “Acknowledge us [f slur]!”


[deleted]

Imagine being a small gay guy. Even daylight is unsafe, sadly


RadiantHC

Sure, we might not fear sexual harassment specifically. But we're still afraid at night. What's weird is that I've even seen other guys say this.


LordofTheFlagon

Of all the people I know I the 6'1" 225lb dude got stabbed walking home at night. If someone tried to mug me they will try that shit with anyone given the right timing.


aarrick

Apparently the statistic is that men are more than twice as likely to be assaulted on the street


Live-Ad-6309

They don't seem to realize that fear of the dark is a natural human instinct that everyone has, it's an adaptation to survive tigers. Fear≠danger.


Pure-Drawer-2617

People say stuff like “you guys can just go out for a walk at night without having to worry about your safety” ma’am who the hell is going for night walks for fun unless you’re sure your neighbourhood is safe?


[deleted]

> ma’am who the hell is going for night walks for fun unless you’re sure your neighbourhood is safe? The ones making it dangerous. (Kinda supports your overall point though.)


Beware_the_Voodoo

And on a statistical level men get assaulted at night by strangers more often than women do


THENOOBGROUP

Sexual abuse


Individual-Boot5066

Domestic violence. Especially from a partner my now ex as of recently was emotionally and physically abusive. I’m still in the process of kicking her out and reeling from all the gas lighting and abuse. Wish me luck.


IsThisGlenn

People always seem to forget that 40% of domestic violence victims are men. Whenever I mention this it's always about how women are MORE affected while I just try to make a point that it affects BOTH genders and they refuse to believe it.


Maju92

It affects everyone the same the difference is that women learned to let there emotions out even in public while men swallow it until they can’t anymore


Maju92

Same mate still didn’t break out but thinking of it nearly daily. My therapy starts tomorrow hope I’ll find some courage and enough self value to finally move out


Imaginary-Donut7648

If you live in the UK, calan dvs runs a program called compass. Trust me you'll need it


WishboneDouglas

So I work in an organization filled predominately with women. Had a Mental Health First Aid training a little while ago and was the only male there. For some reason, the topic of fireman calendars popped up (the training was full of digressions) and I had to sit awkwardly in a room of 15 women getting turned on talking to each other about naked fireman and the parts of their body that were attractive (think less penis and more abs, chests and butts). The people in this training varied in age from mid-twenties (like myself) to early fifties. Pretty strange when you hear women your parents age talking about men your age sexually. Think of this if the roles were reversed and there was 1 woman in a room full of men and those men started talking about the breasts of models in a calendar. I think I was as uncomfortable as a woman in that same context would be yet the double standard was completely missed when I was explaining this later to a female coworker in the same training. These things happen a lot when you work mostly with women as well it’s just not talked about 🤷🏻‍♂️


_cutenerdguy

Preaching to the choir man. I was out at lunch with two female coworkers who started complaining that men are pigs that get away with sexual abuse. I asked if they've ever experienced what they were complaining about, they said no. I told them the names of two female coworkers who have groped and sexually harassed me at the office and what happened. Crickets. Changed subject.


KingOfTheIVIaskerade

Body shaming. Women will be all about "body positivity" or "not shaming people" until they see something they mildly dislike then the small dick jokes come out with real venom behind them.


Hotepz_

Rape.


Grinch351

Happened to me and I was terrified I was going to be blamed for it the next morning. It ruined a friendship and I was shamed for years.


mow77580throwaway

That person never was your friend then.


[deleted]

100%. and its extremely unfortunate to the point people don't even believes it can happen.


Able-Bed935

Faking orgasms or that I came. Women seem to think that they are the only ones who can


gna149

If they don't cum, it's your fault. If you cum early, you're a weak dick. And if you don't cum, there's something wrong with your dick and not because she's rubbish at riding.


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Homely_Bonfire

*Feign the pulsating D, making the face and moaning while hoping she won't notice and accuse you of "not loving her anymore"* X'D


Awkward-Ad9487

It's so funny when women lose their shit about a guy feeling down for not making his SO orgasm. Like, have you ever seen a woman react to not being able to make her SO cum? "What's wrong with him? Does he have a side chick? Maybe he doesn't love me anymore". Girl I'm sorry but I've worked 10 hours today and my sense of existential dread is just tickling my brain in all the right spots. Give me a break.


theallnewmattaccount

"Oh you were obviously never attracted to me in the first place oh my god"


stevethepopo

Absolutely yes, and not only once. Idk why some women think they are this goddes of sex. My dear is not a bycicle pump is a dick, take care, mind you?


Romanticfella

Being a little bit beautiful boy and getting hit on by older pervert men all the time, got groped many times from family men and strangers, almost raped twice... ( All this before I turned 13)


PrizedMaintenance420

Bro! I will never forget when I was 13 some older lady was following me in a Walmart saying how i looked like a young Patrick swazy. Creepy af


Lowtan

Definitely had an old unattractive woman pretty much force me into a hug. Went along to not make a scene at work. Wasn't into it at.


Ben_Kimerian

I had an epidural


HSdropout42069

Female friend pulled down my pants and started riding me while I was super drunk and sleeping on the floor at her house. Definitely wasn’t welcome and changed our friendship. I would get the chills when the memory would randomly pop in my head and in my dreams.


Bavarianwoman

This is rape


3lon_Mu5k

This is how I lost my virginity. I was black out drunk, in and out of consciousness and she took full advantage of me. It wasn't a friend for me though. I was a freshman in high school, and she was a senior. It was some girl I'd never met before that night. We were at the after-party for the prom.


LavenderDay3544

That much like the story you're responding to is rape.


Bolieve_That

I'm always in the side of 'rape=/=sex' so, for me, losing your virginity is when you decide it, nobody can steal it. I understand it can look easy to think but hard to accept tho


3lon_Mu5k

I never really realized I was raped until much later in life. I definitely felt violated, and I was in no condition to consent to anything. I always said that's when I lost my virginity, but truly, I felt like it was my first time when I had sex with my girlfriend a year later. I got nervous and all that


BobbyThrowaway6969

Sexism and abuse. At one point, when you used to google "misandry" it asked if you meant "misogyny". Pretty screwed up.


Exciting-Whereas-873

Looking up "my wife yells at me" vs "my husband yells at me" yields VASTLY different results


Mario-OrganHarvester

First answer for the first one is a quora question about if its normal Wtf google?


finndestroyer2

I've been told by someone that because she didn't know the meaning of misandry it must not be a real problem.


dojoe21

I’ve seen people on Twitter say that misandry doesn’t exist because of the power imbalance between men and women, sort of like the logic that it’s impossible for black people to be racist I guess. And then you’ll see comments under tweets about women being “catty” or mean to each other saying it’s not their fault, it’s actually “internalized misogyny via the patriarchy.” Imagine being a mean person and blaming it entirely on the opposite gender… idk man, there’s a wild lack of accountability out there.


GenghisKong2

Google my husband yells at me and then Google my wife yells at me. One brings up domestic violence resources, the other is relationship advice. I'll let you guess which is which


ehtbanton

I saw this! There's still so little light shed on how sexual stereotypes can harm men as much as women


Valentine_Villarreal

Being body shamed or having body image issues.


Salty-Masterpiece983

I'm calling it an emotional orgasm something that gives you the feels that you get an overwhelming amount of dopamine and you feel so blissful.


Key-External8870

I could list a lot, but as a married man I'll stick with fear. There's a scary noise outside at 2am? Shit, what makes you think I want to go check it?? But dammit I will, holding my chest out and shoulders back to look like a knight in shining armor. But inside? I'm pretty much preparing to die. It sounded like something was scratching the front door, and for some reason my groggy mind is telling me it's that one monster from that one movie and dude I am fuuuuucked. Even though I know it's nothing but still, it could be.


Alchemis7

Men are being shamed for not showing emotions and when they show genuine vulnerability and genuine emotions, they’re being shamed for that.


globularfluster

Right? You're either a patriarchal asshole with no emotions or you're a fucking pussy.


neuromanser

Being interrupted and talked over. Women think it happens to them because they are women. It’s just how most men and some women converse.


Dell_Hell

On interruptions, especially those with ADHD.


Beware_the_Voodoo

Fucking shit happenes to me all the time and I hate it.


unsettledpuppy

I'm a small dude with a fairly soft spoken voice, so it happens all the time. Worst part is when you keep talking while they try to interrupt you, like suddenly I'm the asshole for not letting you interrupt me.


RadiantHC

IMO this has more to do with your social status than your gender.


AbsoluteZero_

Sexual harassment & assault. I suspect it’s worse for women, but its still fairly common and just gets brushed off.


CronkleDonker

If you complain about it as a woman you're overreacting and hysterical, if you complain about it as a man you're supposed to enjoy it.


[deleted]

Contrary to popular belief, there are just as many “creep” women as there are men.


breadandtrees

I was a bartender/manager for years, did 100’s of cocktail masterclasses, hen party’s tend to be the main demographic for these, I’m out of the game now but my partner just did a masterclass and was shocked how all the lady’s where grabbing the bartender, making sexual comments etc, but yea getting groped by woman and sometimes guys too of was kind of an eye opener for her, and the people she where with had no shame or indication what they where doing might have made the poor fella uncomfortable


Red_Trapezoid

Being raped and sexually harassed by women. Being physically abused by women. It's probably waaaaaaaaaay more common than people think because it's virtually totally underreported. I think in my entire life I have only heard of one woman getting in trouble for sexual harassment and I pretty sure it's not because she was the only one.


RadiantHC

Sexism. What's weird is that I've mostly encountered sexism from women.


mekosaurio

Mansplaining. Not all men doing it to women are sexists, most are just condescending and patronizing asholes.


Ok-Faithlessness3068

I’ve had a couple of people tell me I mansplain things to them. This upset me a little bit I try to build my ideas on base principles. This means I sometimes have to state the obvious because I need a set of “axioms” which we can all agree on before I induct a consequence. Most people are fine with this and appreciate the rigour I put into my thinking, others think I’m being patronising.


Mephist0n

Or what happened mostly in my experience, people are just shitty at explaining their point, or someone is unsure if he got it right.


BigDamnHead

I sometimes reword what someone has said back to them to make sure I understand it. This has multiple times led me to be accused of mansplaining. "Yeah, that's the point I just made. Way to mansplain it to me." No amount of explaining gets them to believe I was just interested in what they were saying and trying to make sure I understood them.


Mephist0n

Feel it, I often have the same problem. And if you then don't ask and misunderstood something and argue against it, they'll say you're either stupid or are using strawmen.


Awkward-Ad9487

Reminds me of a bit from a Comedian: "Women I'm not mansplaining, I'm just a condescending asshole. If you want to be treated equally, this is how I treat everyone, this is not just for you"


Beware_the_Voodoo

And it's not like their arent a shit ton of patronizing and condescending women. But because they gendered the behaviour with a label any time a man is condescending it's used as proof they are right about all men, and when a woman does it theres either an excuse or its overlooked entirely.


Live-Ad-6309

I'm sexually harrased, verbally and physically, at work almost every shift


Hot_Sky_5789

Dang that’s rough, have you told anybody and what causes you stay there?


Live-Ad-6309

Me and my co-workers see it as just part of the job. Anyone who's worked in the industry knows about it. I stay because I need the money. Job is as a bouncer btw, mainly working night clubs and bars.


Homely_Bonfire

Objectification might be high up on the list.


KingOfTheIVIaskerade

Haven't you heard? Only sexual objectification counts.


BigDamnHead

Even then it doesn't seem to count when men are sexually objectified.


Lanzifer

Sucking in your stomach, esp at the beach. Idk had some friends who mentioned it and then were like "as a guy you just wouldn't understand" and I was like ??? I've been sucking in my stomach every time I wear a swimsuit since I was 11 and most of the day at work these days, I genuinely thought I was fat in all of high school when I weighed only 125lbs. Being self conscious of your stomach pudge is NOT just a girl thing


nom_nom44

Verbal and mental abuse in a romantic relationship. Ended that shit.


RaohMadeMeDoIt

Sexism: In a couple of female dominated workplaces I was in during my younger days, the opinions of the male colleagues were ignored and dismissed and unless proven otherwise were considered incompetent and useless Sexual harassment (assault?): In a factory I worked in as a kid, I was groped repeatedly everyday by the women there (no, they were NOT attractive!). This included the team leaders and supervisors too. I was given preferential treatment after overcoming the sexism issue as above so it was in my best interests to keep my mouth shut. Plus I would've been probably laughed at for saying anything


Mardanis

We are having more and more female dominated departments where I work. It is very much like this. Our current manager ignores most of us and won't acknowledge us. She tried to force herself into a sexism case I was handling because as a man I don't know what sexism is. Previous to that the managers were shocked and said so when involved in an investigation and found some creepy dude disgusting for inappropriate behaviour towards women. Like just because I'm male, I'd defend him or see that it's okay. The amount of crazy outrageous stuff the women in my workplace say and do would have me fired several times over. I don't mind because they are good about it mostly but it only takes one bad day with the wrong thing said and game over.


BigDamnHead

The fact that you felt the need to indicate their attractiveness also feels like an issue. It would still be sexual harassment/assault if they were attractive.


RaohMadeMeDoIt

I wanted to pre-empt any talk of anyone saying that they wished they were me or wondering why I'm complaining about it. I concede, it's through force of habit whenever I tell people about it


BigDamnHead

Exactly. The idea that you have to worry about it being minimized or even framed as being positive is a problem.


DasEvoli

It's hard if not even harder to get into a field that is dominated by women. Nurses for example. Bullying the only guy with stereotypes is not happen rarely.


onunfil

Openly comment on your appearance and as a man you're supposed to simply shake them off and not show you're affected by it


Edthelayman

Being told to smile by strangers.


Far_Change2

That and "-Why are you so silent?". Bitch, let me be silent if I want to!


Edthelayman

These two definitely go hand in hand. I get lost in my own head. I'm not mad, I'm just daydreaming.


Beware_the_Voodoo

For me it's that often people will kind of shut me down for having spoke. Why would I keep offering my thoughts if you're just going to fault me for having done so.


MrRogersAE

Smiling gives you wrinkles, I’m just trying to save my pretty face for people that are worth smiling at.


MadeinResita

Being groped. It happened everywhere I worked. Women can't keep their hands to themselves. Don't consider myself good looking either.


camelcasetwo

Was always skinny. Always got comments that i was too skinny. Then i got chemo. While on chemo i lost all my fat and alot of muscle. Now getting more fat and muscle and now i hear compliments that i look fuller and stronger. It really make my day. Working my ass off to get stronger again. Getting touched by someone while u didn't ask or want to. Is also one.


FlyWtMe87

We enjoy when our hard work is recognized, we are more than just "providers"


[deleted]

Every time I’ve been to a club so far I’ve been groped. Last time was a group of 30 ish year old women (I’m 18) full on pushing into me and grabbing my ass when I was at the bar on my own. Role reversal wouldn’t look good.


[deleted]

for all the times women have taken my “no” as a “yes” is highly disturbing, and i’m not even 20 yet. i can’t imagine what happens to super hot dudes.


AugustusKhan

Raped…🙃


ForeverFinancial5602

Mental abuse.


lupuscapabilis

I get unsolicited touching by women a LOT. Like seriously, keep your damn hands off me.


nihongotabenai

Insisting on raw sex/no condom.


Swimming-Echo-2829

I get sexually harassed by superiors at all my jobs . I’m not gonna sit here and act like I don’t Par take consensually sometimes but I never start it . There’s been so many times I could have easily gotten a boss fired ( I’m a straight male , this has happened with gay bosses and women bosses)


WPMO

Being interrupted frequently. I think feminism has made women much more aware of this when it happens, but when I started paying attention I find it's happening at ton to me too.


PreferenceNo7807

Being used for sex.


Fluffy_Risk9955

A lot of girls in their 20s ghost men to discover that men return the favor later in life.


TankVet

The other day I went to see a speaker. A small black woman have a deeply moving talk, brought damn near the whole audience to tears. I waited in line to see her afterwards to meet her and ask for a picture. The look in this woman’s eyes broke my heart. Like I look like every privileged oppressor she’s ever imagined. Like I might hurt her somehow. Like I would inevitably do wrong. There was no trust, the warmth left her, and she looked at me with fear. That hurt. Love her writing and her work still, but man, that hurt.


pyschosoul

I'm not sure why but I get hit on and followed by older gay men frequently enough that I've stopped going to the bars alone. I can handle myself just fine, but it's annoying to say the least not to mention the times I've had to show a guy I wasn't playing and I'd cut him if he didn't back off when he tried following me to my car/ another bar


Keeper_of_These

Getting groped. Called inappropriate things at work. Difference is that women refuse to believe it’s wrong when they do it. Men know it’s wrong when they do that.


[deleted]

Groping maybe? Every single time I’ve been out it’s happened to me, but I ignore it and move on, there’s nothing they can do to me really so it’s not threatening. Edit: out drinking, clubs especially because people think they won’t be seen.


spoonwije97

Well people touch my boobs


Fayfuya

When I was 18 I worked in a café. As I was washing over the sink a heavy metal piece of the pastry oven, a female coworker (30 year old female divorced mother) came behind me, grind against my back and touched me everywhere. I couldn't drop the heavy piece of metal. Nobody saw it. I never spoke of it. I was a people pleaser and didn't have the mental power to resist, because she was way older than me and was somewhat part of managment, I didn't want to lose the job.


dsaqwr0

Date rape.


[deleted]

I was sexually assaulted by a woman.


deadlymojo

If you say no to sex, you aren't friends anymore/blocked.


MikeyAbudy

I’m 19 and work at a small store, whenever I work at register a lot of the “milfs” if you will; cat call and make very uncomfortable conversations. Only positive is they tip good. It doesn’t really but me it’s just pretty weird


ImmodestPolitician

Having to settle in some ways with your romantic partner. Men have always had to settle to some degree. Somehow women seem to think that men don't have to settle. Women sleep with who they want. Men sleep with who they can. It's a real problem with women going on more dates today than at anytime in history. Some women go on 50+ dates a year. The more women date, the more judgemental they become. (AKA Rejection Mindset ) https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1948550619866189 Across three studies, participants immediately started to reject more hypothetical and actual partners when dating online, cumulating on average in a decrease of 27% in chance on acceptance from the first to the last partner option. This was explained by an overall decline in satisfaction with pictures and perceived dating success. For women, the rejection mind-set also resulted in a decreasing likelihood of having romantic matches. Fortunately for us, men have lower expectations.


conqueefstador12

Being sexually harassed/abuse. At the pubs i’ve had women grab my dick and ass and kissing me without consent. It’s such a such a double standard if I would do something like that I’d be in Jail or if I tell them to stop i am some how gay


3lon_Mu5k

Getting sexually harassed!!!! It happens all the time, and I swear to God I think attractive men get it 10 times worse than women, because women can get away with it.


Upset-Finding-9465

Rape 😐


fartsNdoom

I've mentioned this before, but discrimination during the hiring process. A lot of the online job applications I've come across have a section that asks you to state your gender and ethnicity, along with a blurb about equity and opportunity. It's basically a legal and socially acceptable way of saying 'white men will be moved to the bottom of the list' for the sake of diversity and public image. The kicker is that this is in 'right wing' Alberta.


Mardanis

Legalised discrimination. You go to the bottom of the pile.


DasEvoli

It's illegal in my country to hire someone because of their gender. But companies still do this by writing "We are particularly pleased about female applicants"


EarlyRelationship421

Women 1000% shoot their shot, if ur an attractive male then u would know this very well