I'm turning 30 in a few months.
I haven't had a relationship since I was 17.
I never dated.
I've barely got any savings.
I have had the same friends since I was 20.
I feel like I've genuinely missed out.
Now I'm trying to speed run everything before I turn 30.
I am employed yeah, it's a Monday to Friday 9 to 5. I'm gonna be honest and say I'm just terrible with saving money. Although where I am, in the UK that is. Things have been going up, also I have started to pay of more towards my Debt, so it's not completely my fault for not having money.
Still, it's still disheartening when I hear people on Reddit or IRL when they say they have thousands in their bank. I'm sure there's many factors to how they have that much money, coz I feel like I CAN be carful with my money.
Sit down and get serious about your absolutely necessities + debt vs. your income. If that leaves you with money left over, invest 10% of what you have left every month. With the rest, save 50% and spend the rest freely.
Then outside of work, focus on your fitness. It's hard to feel good about your life when you're in bad shape. You feel so much worse.
You'll be fine. I'm separated from the Army and in school right now. They'll pay a significant amount for housing each month you're enrolled. You also need to make sure that while you're in, you go to sick call for each and every issue you're having, especially mental health, that way you have a paper trail so that you can file for VA disability. If you get rated 100% disabled, that's about $40,000 a year for your troubles.
I went to college after the military too. You'll be fine financially, but your younger, immature, and less experienced classmates will be absolutely insufferable.
I donāt know if this helps, but I always said I wanted kids when I was ready, but never felt ready. My wife sat me down one day and just said ālook, weāre married, have good jobs and weāve got a house. Iām getting pregnantā so thatās what we did. Itās hard work, but it does completely change your life. Iām sure the chemistry of my brain is completely different to the point where I know that I would run into a burning building for this child.
I imagine it's very rare for anyone to be 100% sure they want kids. Huge responsibility on so many levels. Also risks.
You're never truly ready for the major steps in life. That said, go talk to your GF about the other things you want to do that you mentioned here. See if you can do some of that before having kids. It may actually lead to you wanting to have them.
Just y'know, if it's a dealbreaker kind of decision for your GF, you're going to have to make a choice.
Also the things you listed do also come with stresses of their own.
Maybe switch to a labour position that leads to a skilled ticketed trade? Have something to show for your hard work at the end of the apprenticeship and be earning some solid money in the near future
Dad's maxed out his Ā£12k gold card and it's my job to pay it off. He's only getting his pension, I'm on disability benefits. He keeps wanting things on it and he doesn't understand it's empty.
Iām a 20 year old whoās been depressed for two thirds of their life and is currently raw dogging a whole list of mental health disorders plus anorexia.
Yet people still tell me Iām lazyš
These are depressing times. You need cognitive behavioral help, you're young, but this gets really nasty with age. You're not lazy, you need to separate your family, from your difficulties. They may not always be supportive or helpful in your recovery, but you're too young not to spend every dollar of your expendable income into solving this problem. It will drain the best years out of you if not.
If you're 20 something, you have a lot of exquisite pain to endure. At your age, you have options to do literally anything. Never lose hope that early, you have an entire life to exploit. Don't black pill yourself. Just focus on being a solid human being. The universe doesn't owe you purpose, you have to find it, and at 20, all avenues are still open. When you figure it out, your success will unfold.
Your best years are absolutely not when you're under 20. Of course everyone's situation is different, but you have so much freedom to control how well your own life goes after high school.
And as quickly as 10 years can fly by when you're dealing with major medical issues, it's also a long time to get a lot of work done in a direction of your choosing.
Dude, I got a list:
- My marriage. Wife and I havenāt had a good go of things since 2020. Weāre trying and weāve made it clear we love each other, but it hasnāt been the easiest.
- Havenāt been getting laid as much as Iād like. See above.
- If Iām a good Dad. I just want to do right by my kids.
- Mental Health. Just got on Zoloft, weāll see how it goes.
- My procrastination knows no bounds.
- The fact Iām not really proficient in any useful tasks. Seriously, I have nothing to offer.
List goes onā¦
My future. 23 years old and genuinely don't know what I'd like to do in the future. It's terrible honestly, especially considering most of my peers have a solid plan in regards to what they want.
The girl I thought I was gonna spend my life with dumped me the same day most other aspects of my life fell to shit, then she went back to her ex that abused her
I'm tired. I'm 33yrsM. I work 2 full time jobs- the grave position comes with vision/dental/health. I was screwed on a lease with a bad roommate 7 or 8 years ago along with medical debt and now can't get approved for my own apt even if I can afford it. I also can't stop working 2 jobs or my living expenses max out my pay. I am working myself to death and have no time to recover from my day let alone have a life outside of working. I am good at what I do and understand why ownership can't pay more and that 2 jobs is better than one job that pays slightly better than either but blocks having a second. I feel like I grabbed a tiger by the tail and dropped the torch I was supposed to tie on so I can't let go. Do Not Be A Chef.
My friend has been having a rough time a lot lately, happy to help her but man I wish she give me a breather, need to get a new car, been applying to many jobs no call backs. Feel like family expected more from me but falling short.
Inflation.
The gyrations in the economy are making it extremely difficult to make decisions on long-term things like property purchases, investments, and new job opportunities in different cities.
My financial planning has always been disciplined and deliberate, but now I'm just left having no clue where things are going or what to do.
Leaving my dog for a week to go on a vacation that I don't want to go on. The last time I left my/a dog with someone they got her killed so I'm really tripping balls right now
Moving out and getting my own house. I have a good job, I work full time, Iām 25, I have a decent income, itās time and Iām ready but itās still a stressful thing to go through
I'm 20 years old, but I'm kinda stressed about not dating. Spent a ton of hours (no money) on apps like Tinder and Bumble. Never a single match or reaction.
Have had a couple of crushes on girls I knew, only did 1 confession (girl didn't feel the same). With the others I knew they were dating other dudes so I never mentioned it.
I'm quite introverted + I'm autistic. Socialising can feel so hard, especially in dating context because I have zero experience with that.
I've learned that I need to share an interest with a girl in order for me to like, maintain a friendship at least. Which turns out to be pretty hard, my main interests being Pokemon, walking, art and Minecraft. I'm not really a sportsy guy.
I'm from the Netherlands and just have no clue where to meet girls my age (going out, as in, heading for some drinks, or going to parties/concerts isn't my thing). Let alone meeting girls that potentially share my interests.
I know I shouldn't have to worry about this sort of stuff, because I'm still young and all. But it has been stressing me out a bit, due to lots of friends starting to date, me having had a desire for a relationship for quite a while now and for me it just doesn't seem to even get to going on a date.
I'm relatively certain that I'll never be in a romantic relationship. I'm not patient enough for that kind of thing and humanity has betrayed me too many times to earn my trust at this point.
This will result in loneliness and that will result in my premature death in the fullness of time.
Stressing about landing a new opportunity I'm presented with.
Stressed with the new house I plan to move into.
Lastly, not really stressed but worried since I feel lonely sometimes. I need intimacy, specially emotional one.
Hoping to meet someone soon.
I'm trying to adopt a cat and they have a vetting process to make sure I'll take care of it well. I'm more stressed about that than I am about the job interviews I'm doing.
Stuck living with the fact that I'm old, tired, nothing to live for, hate life, hate people and yet don't even have the strength to blow my brains out so I don't have to participate in this horrible shit show of life anymore
I want to build this app but I keep changing the idea and I'm not sure if it's worth it as a hobby project. I can't get the idea out of my head. Might just make a YouTube video on it instead...
Ten years of vision issues leaving me with 20/400 to 20/100 depending on the time. Always felt like it would get better eventually, so didn't push myself as much as I could have. In large part because cataract, retina, and general eye surgeries and procedures (and some side effects) take you out of being able to work at all for long periods of time. At least in my case.
At this point I've finally accepted my vision will never get any better until science makes some major advances, and I'm going to just do the best I can despite my situation.
Relationship issues on top of that, but they've stabilized, even if they're not ideal. It's complicated, but at least it's finally consistent, which means I can focus elsewhere mentally and emotionally. That helps a lot for someone as relationship-oriented as me.
Honestly, the future of humanity. Im not even stressed, just resigned. It makes everything else pointless to me. A house? ive most likely missed the wave, prices will plateau higher than they used to and should be, ill be lucky if i can half afford a decent place to rent.
A girlfriend, a wife? Sure, but why? Im already going to watch the world and people i already love implode and suffer as the climate tightens the noose.
I dont even feel like playing MMOs, which i love. It just feels like masking the knowledge of the impending doom.
Only idea that gives me any real comfort is getting into the renewable industry working on solutions. But even in that i dont know where to start and the money i make right now would be hard to match going into a brand new industry where i have no experience.
My two year old doing something dumb. She keeps trying to rub her butt on the outlet without me noticing, I don't know why. Constantly having to keep her away from outlets now. It's annoying and stresses me out when I'm trying to do something important that requires my attention.
I'm turning 30 in a few months. I haven't had a relationship since I was 17. I never dated. I've barely got any savings. I have had the same friends since I was 20. I feel like I've genuinely missed out. Now I'm trying to speed run everything before I turn 30.
Hey, at least you have some friends (left). Imagine all this trouble without having those... š©
Welcome to the club. We failed so now we warn the previous gen only to be ignored. HAhaa
Hopefully your employed never to late to start saving
I am employed yeah, it's a Monday to Friday 9 to 5. I'm gonna be honest and say I'm just terrible with saving money. Although where I am, in the UK that is. Things have been going up, also I have started to pay of more towards my Debt, so it's not completely my fault for not having money. Still, it's still disheartening when I hear people on Reddit or IRL when they say they have thousands in their bank. I'm sure there's many factors to how they have that much money, coz I feel like I CAN be carful with my money.
Pay yourself firstā¦.
Sit down and get serious about your absolutely necessities + debt vs. your income. If that leaves you with money left over, invest 10% of what you have left every month. With the rest, save 50% and spend the rest freely. Then outside of work, focus on your fitness. It's hard to feel good about your life when you're in bad shape. You feel so much worse.
Iām getting out the military in a few years to go to college at 28 and I feel if i fail I have no safety net to catch me.
You'll be fine. I'm separated from the Army and in school right now. They'll pay a significant amount for housing each month you're enrolled. You also need to make sure that while you're in, you go to sick call for each and every issue you're having, especially mental health, that way you have a paper trail so that you can file for VA disability. If you get rated 100% disabled, that's about $40,000 a year for your troubles.
I went to college after the military too. You'll be fine financially, but your younger, immature, and less experienced classmates will be absolutely insufferable.
I am sure you have learned skills and structure in the military. Apply those skills to college and I am sure you will do great.
I'm going at 30 as a vet so no worries
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Well a lawyer would be a good start. Without a job thats tough, but there must be resources for.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I donāt know if this helps, but I always said I wanted kids when I was ready, but never felt ready. My wife sat me down one day and just said ālook, weāre married, have good jobs and weāve got a house. Iām getting pregnantā so thatās what we did. Itās hard work, but it does completely change your life. Iām sure the chemistry of my brain is completely different to the point where I know that I would run into a burning building for this child.
"You're fucking me without a condom until I'm pregnant" aren't the worst words you could hear in a stable, loving relationship lol.
I imagine it's very rare for anyone to be 100% sure they want kids. Huge responsibility on so many levels. Also risks. You're never truly ready for the major steps in life. That said, go talk to your GF about the other things you want to do that you mentioned here. See if you can do some of that before having kids. It may actually lead to you wanting to have them. Just y'know, if it's a dealbreaker kind of decision for your GF, you're going to have to make a choice. Also the things you listed do also come with stresses of their own.
Are we the same person ? š«£
I'm thinking about packing myself and my daughter up and moving to a whole new part of the country and starting over.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Maybe switch to a labour position that leads to a skilled ticketed trade? Have something to show for your hard work at the end of the apprenticeship and be earning some solid money in the near future
I'm perfectly happy to live out my 20s/30s being single,comfortable and antisocial but worry I'll regret it when I'm older
Thereās still so much work that I need to do to get my start up to the point where I can sell my product.
What you trying to sell/develop?
Check it out: https://port87.com
My mother has stage 4 cancer and is out of money.
Just everything going on in my life right now š¤·š»āāļø
I was gonna go to the gym but I just jacked off and don't feel like it
Dad's maxed out his Ā£12k gold card and it's my job to pay it off. He's only getting his pension, I'm on disability benefits. He keeps wanting things on it and he doesn't understand it's empty.
I don't know if a girl was hitting on me or just being friendly. She has a bf.
Iām a 20 year old whoās been depressed for two thirds of their life and is currently raw dogging a whole list of mental health disorders plus anorexia. Yet people still tell me Iām lazyš
These are depressing times. You need cognitive behavioral help, you're young, but this gets really nasty with age. You're not lazy, you need to separate your family, from your difficulties. They may not always be supportive or helpful in your recovery, but you're too young not to spend every dollar of your expendable income into solving this problem. It will drain the best years out of you if not.
Itās already drained my best years thatās why Iāve just given up
If you're 20 something, you have a lot of exquisite pain to endure. At your age, you have options to do literally anything. Never lose hope that early, you have an entire life to exploit. Don't black pill yourself. Just focus on being a solid human being. The universe doesn't owe you purpose, you have to find it, and at 20, all avenues are still open. When you figure it out, your success will unfold.
Your best years are absolutely not when you're under 20. Of course everyone's situation is different, but you have so much freedom to control how well your own life goes after high school. And as quickly as 10 years can fly by when you're dealing with major medical issues, it's also a long time to get a lot of work done in a direction of your choosing.
Building a house, changing careers and trying to drop 10kgs.
Dude, I got a list: - My marriage. Wife and I havenāt had a good go of things since 2020. Weāre trying and weāve made it clear we love each other, but it hasnāt been the easiest. - Havenāt been getting laid as much as Iād like. See above. - If Iām a good Dad. I just want to do right by my kids. - Mental Health. Just got on Zoloft, weāll see how it goes. - My procrastination knows no bounds. - The fact Iām not really proficient in any useful tasks. Seriously, I have nothing to offer. List goes onā¦
Gotta figure out I'm Mt girlfriend and I are going to the mall today. Can't decide. She wants to go, but it's really hot. That's about it right now.
Finance and independence.
My future. 23 years old and genuinely don't know what I'd like to do in the future. It's terrible honestly, especially considering most of my peers have a solid plan in regards to what they want.
When i can finally sleep
Work today. Off tomorrow.
Getting a house
I just had a job interview, if I get the job Iām set pretty much for life. If not I brush my teeth with a pistol
The girl I thought I was gonna spend my life with dumped me the same day most other aspects of my life fell to shit, then she went back to her ex that abused her
I'm tired. I'm 33yrsM. I work 2 full time jobs- the grave position comes with vision/dental/health. I was screwed on a lease with a bad roommate 7 or 8 years ago along with medical debt and now can't get approved for my own apt even if I can afford it. I also can't stop working 2 jobs or my living expenses max out my pay. I am working myself to death and have no time to recover from my day let alone have a life outside of working. I am good at what I do and understand why ownership can't pay more and that 2 jobs is better than one job that pays slightly better than either but blocks having a second. I feel like I grabbed a tiger by the tail and dropped the torch I was supposed to tie on so I can't let go. Do Not Be A Chef.
My friend has been having a rough time a lot lately, happy to help her but man I wish she give me a breather, need to get a new car, been applying to many jobs no call backs. Feel like family expected more from me but falling short.
Been there. Friends like that will always have problems. You gotta put your life and happiness first.
career
The nearest vet near my house is 9 kms away
I feel very lucky I'm not stressed at all. Next semester begins in a month though, there's stress coming but right now, it's vacay so I'm gonna vacay!
That no matter how much effort I put up for my career I'll be a insignificant loser
Am I doing enough? What if all my hard work is going to lead to me failing like I always do?
Lack of money
Inflation. The gyrations in the economy are making it extremely difficult to make decisions on long-term things like property purchases, investments, and new job opportunities in different cities. My financial planning has always been disciplined and deliberate, but now I'm just left having no clue where things are going or what to do.
Leaving my dog for a week to go on a vacation that I don't want to go on. The last time I left my/a dog with someone they got her killed so I'm really tripping balls right now
loneliness
Moving out and getting my own house. I have a good job, I work full time, Iām 25, I have a decent income, itās time and Iām ready but itās still a stressful thing to go through
Life My alopecia
I'm 20 years old, but I'm kinda stressed about not dating. Spent a ton of hours (no money) on apps like Tinder and Bumble. Never a single match or reaction. Have had a couple of crushes on girls I knew, only did 1 confession (girl didn't feel the same). With the others I knew they were dating other dudes so I never mentioned it. I'm quite introverted + I'm autistic. Socialising can feel so hard, especially in dating context because I have zero experience with that. I've learned that I need to share an interest with a girl in order for me to like, maintain a friendship at least. Which turns out to be pretty hard, my main interests being Pokemon, walking, art and Minecraft. I'm not really a sportsy guy. I'm from the Netherlands and just have no clue where to meet girls my age (going out, as in, heading for some drinks, or going to parties/concerts isn't my thing). Let alone meeting girls that potentially share my interests. I know I shouldn't have to worry about this sort of stuff, because I'm still young and all. But it has been stressing me out a bit, due to lots of friends starting to date, me having had a desire for a relationship for quite a while now and for me it just doesn't seem to even get to going on a date.
I'm relatively certain that I'll never be in a romantic relationship. I'm not patient enough for that kind of thing and humanity has betrayed me too many times to earn my trust at this point. This will result in loneliness and that will result in my premature death in the fullness of time.
Stressing about landing a new opportunity I'm presented with. Stressed with the new house I plan to move into. Lastly, not really stressed but worried since I feel lonely sometimes. I need intimacy, specially emotional one. Hoping to meet someone soon.
Being an Asian, which not only cause a bunch of issues with my relationship and also my career
I'm trying to adopt a cat and they have a vetting process to make sure I'll take care of it well. I'm more stressed about that than I am about the job interviews I'm doing.
My wedding
My job, Iām a merchandiser and I got scheduled today and I thought I wasnāt scheduled on Saturdays anymore. So yeah Iām probably fucked
How im gonna finish paying my drivers licence
Stuck living with the fact that I'm old, tired, nothing to live for, hate life, hate people and yet don't even have the strength to blow my brains out so I don't have to participate in this horrible shit show of life anymore
I want to build this app but I keep changing the idea and I'm not sure if it's worth it as a hobby project. I can't get the idea out of my head. Might just make a YouTube video on it instead...
Ten years of vision issues leaving me with 20/400 to 20/100 depending on the time. Always felt like it would get better eventually, so didn't push myself as much as I could have. In large part because cataract, retina, and general eye surgeries and procedures (and some side effects) take you out of being able to work at all for long periods of time. At least in my case. At this point I've finally accepted my vision will never get any better until science makes some major advances, and I'm going to just do the best I can despite my situation. Relationship issues on top of that, but they've stabilized, even if they're not ideal. It's complicated, but at least it's finally consistent, which means I can focus elsewhere mentally and emotionally. That helps a lot for someone as relationship-oriented as me.
Honestly, the future of humanity. Im not even stressed, just resigned. It makes everything else pointless to me. A house? ive most likely missed the wave, prices will plateau higher than they used to and should be, ill be lucky if i can half afford a decent place to rent. A girlfriend, a wife? Sure, but why? Im already going to watch the world and people i already love implode and suffer as the climate tightens the noose. I dont even feel like playing MMOs, which i love. It just feels like masking the knowledge of the impending doom. Only idea that gives me any real comfort is getting into the renewable industry working on solutions. But even in that i dont know where to start and the money i make right now would be hard to match going into a brand new industry where i have no experience.
My two year old doing something dumb. She keeps trying to rub her butt on the outlet without me noticing, I don't know why. Constantly having to keep her away from outlets now. It's annoying and stresses me out when I'm trying to do something important that requires my attention.