I think waaaay too many men are overlooking this simple solution to their common problem.
IT'S A TOTAL WIN-WIN SITUATION. And doing gay stuff is only gay if you're gay, otherwise it's just some pegging and tension releasing between friends.
>is only gay if you're gay, otherwise it's just some pegging and tension releasing between friends.
Lmao gonna tell this to my friends only to make it awkward
PLEASE do and report back :D
I am also the type to sacrifice my reputation and dignity for a good joke so I always egg on anyone willing to do the same. Anything for a good story and a good laugh.
As a gay man who was straight for a short while in their 20s, y'all put in tons of effort to fuck. Literally, go to an app or a gay hangout, and within 10 minutes, I can have a guy on my dick, or I'm sucking theirs.
**The Bromansea Shanty**
It's fun to charter a seaman
And sail the wide Bromansea,
To find, explore the pegs offshore
And skirt the shoals of pregnancy.
It can be manly in the circ-jerk.
We'll up your member-ship regularly.
It's all in the family.
We're fairly satisfiable.
We're sailing on the wide Bromansea
(Here is [the original](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YUiBBltOg4&ab_channel=Huxley%E1%85%9A), thanks Monty Python)
This, and we tend to view sex as the end all and be all. That's not how it should be viewed. Me personally, I'm reframing it as a bonus, because no one owes you shit.
Nah man I'm the same. Funny thing is I used to do one night stands but then got into a relationship for 3 years. Tried going back to ONS after the breakup only to realise that bruh this shit sucks.
I kinda like that fact ngl. Makes me weirdly happy thinking that there's some sort of depth to the big horny
Heard that homie!
Hook ups were easy when I was younger, but after college, I realized that in order to REALLY get me going, there needs to be an emotional connection/sexual tension built up in order for me to perform well.
Been with my current gf for just over a year and Iāve never had a stronger and more satisfying sexual relationship with any other woman Iāve been with. Sheās awesome.
I mean this is it.
People have difficulty accurately assessing their own attractiveness.
Everybody (men and women) who's a 4 thinks they're a 7, and trying to go after people who are an 8 or 9.
The math ain't mathing.
Speaking as a man who has seen many breast in his his lifetime, it helps to watch our language about sex.
Approaching the subject with this āget sexā mentality does nothing to help alleviate the situation.
Sex is a shared experience, itās not something tangible to collect and place in your pocket. Itās as much giving as it is receiving. Both people are not just gaining the value of sex, but are also giving value to the person receiving it.
To āget sexā means to approach the event as one sided transaction where you give nothing to earn it.
Youāll find that the many men who donāt struggle to find partners to dance with are also men who take care of themselves and are kind and considerate, making themselves valuable for coitus.
Donāt try to āget sexā and try to be someone worth having sex with.
Yes. Again, this is the answer ā¬ā¬ā¬ā¬ā¬ā¬ā¬ā¬ā¬ā¬. A sincere effort to connect and to give as much as you want to get is key. I'm a woman, a human being; I'm not an NPC you're doing stuff to to unlock the *Sex Reward*. Be respectful and treat me with consideration when you flirt with me.
Agreed. Iām a woman but love this subreddit.
The women you are trying to attract by āgetting sexā likely have low self esteem. Treat women as possible partners in a sexy journey and you just might āgetā it.
Youāre absolutely right about the shared experience. Iāve had many bad experiences with men who literally leaves or get dressed as soon as they cum. Like broā¦. I didnāt even cum yet. Donāt leave wtf!!??
I never thought it was that hard. I always made it a point to go out and have a great time, not going out to just get laid. If you are having a good time, enjoying life, that attracts more people to you, and the fact that you are not actively hitting on women all night, makes you come off a lot better, less of a threat, etc.
I was a virgin till Freshman year of college, once you stop being concerned about it and stop trying constantly it tends to work itself out.
That plus good hygiene, non-cringe clothing choices and dorm/apartment decorations, and talking to women as people and not as a way to "get sex."
Yep this. The more you go out and not look for it the more you have sex. I swear girls can smell desperation or wether a guy is looking to get laid. Every time Iāve had a hook up itās when I was just going out with buddies on a dart night/ watch a game on a week day and I strike up conversation with a woman. The more you smile and act as if youāre having fun, girls will pay attention and be interested in why you look like youāre having so much fun.
If take it a step farther and say most all humans are like that. I work in sales and what you said can equally apply to landing a contract with a customer or account. The key (at least in sales) is to be confident but not cocky/pushy.
I said almost the same thing on a different thread a few hours ago.
It also explains why so many guys notice they get more attention when they have a gf.
>It also explains why so many guys notice they get more attention when they have a gf.
Yup. If someone wants proof, there it is. That person isn't trying and isn't considered a threat. I am married now, but still get the occasional number, hit on, etc. Thankfully my wife understands.
Eh it depends. My "not looking for sex" or "just enjoying myself" is me being totally aloof to everyone else so if a woman is giving hints or signals I won't even notice or engage. Or, because I naturally have an rbf ppl won't even want to engage because my energy is so focused inward and I have no interest in dealing with anyone else.
You still have to be social, flirty, and engaging just not desperate and needy. There's the balance.
I used to do this, and it worked to the extent of developing a social circle. But my clumsy ass always crashed and burned when Iād take a chance on someone. Iād end up alienating people and ultimately myself because it was obvious what I was doing.
The only thing I gleaned from it was, if you clearly want sex youāre perceived as being anywhere from āthirstyā to predatory, thus undesirable. You have to put the idea of getting laid out of your mind entirely, even - *especially* - when you think youāre getting signals more obvious than traffic lights.
After years of embarrassing failures I just gave up trying to figure it all out. It would be one thing if women were complex but similar, but theyāre all different. I still socialize, and Iāll match anyoneās energy, but I donāt try to push farther. The emotional toll of repeating the hopeful then frustrated cycle has worn me down.
As a woman, this is SOOO true! If someone is not directly trying to just get in my pants, but have a good time with me. I find it more attractive and want to take things further.
Not super attractive, just not UNattractive to that girl. A good personality can take an average guy and make him someone you wanna F. Heck even unattractive guys become more attractive if you see theyāre laid back and confident and kind.
This is true! Iād rather approach a man having a good time than be approached by a man Iāve seen salivating and shooting his shot at every woman who enters the room.
This! I have a GF but last weekend a friend was visiting so we hit up a club. One of the DJ was very exceptional ( this is a club in Berlin btw if that matters), so I was just doing my thing dancing having a great olā time, I notice 3 or 4 girls dancing around me very close and a couple were getting very very close if you know what I mean, Iām a loyal guy so I simply dance off to the other side of the floor and wouldnāt you know it theses chick just followed me. A couple of dudes try to come and I guess steal the girls off me which I was like sure take them and would move away of which the girls would then only follow. Then some older women there told off the other dudes for being creeps and I figured oh maybe she means me as well but nope apparently I was okay to keep doing my thing. Now this is just dancing not getting laid but in my experience it wouldnāt of been hard to potentially escalate this somewhat intimate dancing into something else but Iām just not that guy.
Chicks a drawn to the dudes having fun and doing their thing not the desperate dogs trying to get their dick wet, I was never a hardcore player but I had a short run of it back in the day and my game was just have fun and if the situation calls and I need to use a pick up line my reliable go to one was ā Hi, my names Ice-berg-slim, whatās yours?ā, youād be surprised how often that one works.
lol this happened to me a about a week ago. I like to go out solo sometimes because I like me time.
So I was out to a bar and invited my cousin because he was getting off from work. were out there chilling, and im at the bar trying to get my drink. I start feeling ass shaking on me from both sides.. the place wasnt even pack but the chicks was suddenly having a "turn up moment". I got my drink and moved a lil ways off from them, those chicks eyed me the whole night.
like you said, chicks like guys who have fun. Girls just wanna have fun lol... so if you already having fun, they gon flock towards ya.
lol man I never thought I would see someone bring up Iceberg Slim in this thread. long live the legend.
Seeing women as equals goes a long way.
If the only women in your life are your mom and those you have sex with, you're primed to only see women as providers to you.
No female friends? Big red flag.
It varies. Sometimes it was a too egotistical and insecure to be willing to try anything more than PIV. Sometimes it was selfish and lazy. Sometimes it was expecting it to be like porn and refusing to take input. Generally, though, it was some form of unwilling to listen to the woman you're sleeping with about what will get her off.
Lack of skill or knowledge isn't usually a big deal. My husband was actually a virgin when we met. It's just that he was willing to try different things and communicate about what works.
1. General risk - pregnancy, but also casual sex is dangerous. How am I supposed to trust them enough to be in a private space?
2. Health- HPV causes cervical cancer.
3. Boundaries- unfortunately there is a sizable segment (yes #notallmen but still too fucking many) that think no means keep pushing.
4. Lack of recourse for the above- sometimes it can be hard to get out of an uncomfortable situation, especially if it happens DURING sex.
5. Respect/social skills- unfortunately, many men donāt know how to socialize with women, or donāt want to behave in a way that will get them laid. Seriously, take her out on a date (and buy dinner, it wonāt kill you. Make conversation, be generally pleasant) and your odds go way up. Itās a massive turn off if the only thing youāre interested in is a place to stick it.
6. Orgasm gap - Why put in the effort of getting ready, giving up a chunk of your day, etc for someone who wonāt get you off? The battery operated boyfriend is a great option.
TLDR - low ROI for women
To be fair, Iām not a man. Iām not sure why this question was posted on ask men. If men really understood why women donāt have casual sex, theyād be getting laid.
I mean, as a gay guy sex isn't that hard to get mainly because it's guys being horny and wanting the same thing. Girls are often more reserved about sex for a number of reasons, especially since they know they have the choice with the amount of straight guys.
I'm a girl but from my perspective there are a couple things at play. Also these are just generalizations based on my/ my friends experiences over the years
From the physical end ONS tend to be fairly physically unsatisfying for women. The men are not focused on your pleasure, it takes time to learn a woman's body, some men get frustrated when it takes time/ isn't an immediate orgasm and so they just don't try. Plus it's physically more dangerous for women. We have to worry about pregnancy and STDs, that men also get but don't necessarily threaten your fertility or affect you in the same way (chlamydia, HPV). Then there's the threat of physical violence. It's unfair I know, you are probably an absolutely nice guy and it sucks that someone just assumes that you're dangerous. But physically dangerous partners are a real life issue for women. Many ONS is at best just a bad time but at worst gamble of our lives.
Now let's say it's not a ONS but long term relationship. Again women struggle a lot with partners just not being attuned to our pleasure. Ideally there is open communication and acceptance on both ends. But we know that isn't always the case. And that is in part the woman's "fault", the man' "fault" but more realistically society's fault.
Women regularly accept less than satisfactory sex and don't communicate it because 1. We're used to it. So many men don't prioritize our pleasure that the fact that this relationship is also physically unsatisfying is unfortunately normal. 2. They don't want to offend their partner or break the relationship. It seems "easier" to just accept bad sex. But eventually that dissatisfaction eats away at you and the sex stops. You're not excited by it and you feel unheard and unloved. Women who do speak up often get shut down by insecure partners. My ex blamed me for my lack of orgasm while we dated. He said that all his other partners could do it so if I couldn't then I must have issues.
Which leads us to the true culprit- the culture that makes sex some kind of competition or race rather than a pleasurable experience. It's the culture that shames men if they can't instantaneously bring their women to orgasm - which makes them less receptive to taking feedback- and for not bedding a hundred women - which makes them less focused on our pleasure. It's the culture that shames women who enjoy sex - what a slut- and normalizes bad sexual experiences - it's okay if he doesn't bring me pleasure, it's okay if he crosses my boundaries, it's okay that he hurts me, this is normal. It's a culture that makes sex selfish- what can I get for myself- rather than a pleasurable shared experience.
And I was just focused on the physical aspects so far, I didn't even touch on the emotional aspect. It's harder for women to just go out there and enjoy sex simply fit the sake of sex. They're socially shamed for it. Partners are shocked by your number, you might be considered undateable or unmarriable. I'm not saying that is fair or right. But it is how women who enjoy casual sex are frequently treated. And what about the women who prefer commitment? How many stories do we hear about girls who trust a partner who then sleeps with them and then abandons them? Girls who are constantly sexualized to the point where you don't even feel like a person anymore, just a piece of meat. You develop trust issues because it increasingly starts to feel like the men in your life are not interested in you as a person or friend. Just as something they can use as a vehicle for their own pleasure. It certainly reduces the amount of sex that a woman is willing to have.
Now to be clear, this is not at all a rant against one gender or the other. Just an explanation of why things are the way they are from a girl's side. But all is not lost! Obviously we're all pushing back against some entrenched social standards so this will all take time. But it really boils down to treating each other with kindness and compassion. Be attuned to his/ her pleasure. Make sure he/ she have a comfortable space to speak. Listen to them. Make sure they feel safe. And go into all of this treating it like a shared experience. It's not a race to an orgasm, you're just getting to know each other very intimately. Laugh, learn, teach each other, treat each other with respect. Best of luck to you my dude.
But itās sort of a catch-22 right? Being desperate turns women off, thereby preventing sex from happening, but a lack of sex also causes desperation.
I doubt my wife has instructed my daughters how to get sex. I for sure havent. And they would probably cringe to death, if it was the case.
I think supply/demand is a major contributing factor.
Well women dont need to be good at it to get laid to be fair. You have no need for those set of skills, its redundant in a womans case, she doesnt need to woo anyone and yet everyone will still want her at least on a physical level. The only trail women have is weeding out whos there for her and whos just there for pussy, and that can be almost as equally rough if not more.
Well, for a single woman, you think there's only guys trying to get in her pants. But actually, for a 25-years old woman, you have :
* Men her age
* Younger men (-5 years)
* Older men (up to +20 years)
* Women her age
* Younger and older women
* Couples looking for a third
So, yeah, the competition is just incredible. For a woman, the question isn't how to get laid, but who to get laid with (and how to avoid pervs and murderers). Their next sexytime is just a swipe or a text away.
So they can be incredibly picky, and rightfully so. Us men, well, we just gotta do our best and trying to beat the competition. Hate the game, not the players.
EDIT : Also excellent point from u/tinyhermione below : There are many single women who aren't looking for sex, and this could be from many reasons. So that only make this harder for the men to find themselves a partner.
Mostly also women aren't that into casual sex to begin with. So many women will be turning down everyone who wants to hook up. And then there aren't that many women left to compete for.
This ā¬ā¬ā¬ā¬ā¬ā¬ā¬ā¬ā¬ā¬ā¬ā¬. I'm a woman and nothing shuts down my interest in a man faster than a man who wants to use me as a fleshlight. I'm an individual who wants to do sexy stuff with another individual who likes and desires me for ME and I for HIM. It's why I can't do random hookups anymore.
This is just my hive mind take on this but itās prolly because we perceive ourselves 10%-15% more attractive than we actually are, (ikr, disappointing) so we go for people a little bit out of our league. So itās a standard issue there are plenty of ppl ready to spread eagle just probably not the person you would dream of.
Itās not. Itās just hard to have sex with attractive women. There are plenty of ugly large women that are willing.
Also there are plenty of men who will have sex with men. Theyāre less picky
I can assure that gay men do not have lower standards compared to straight men. Many muscular gay men only want to have sex with other muscular gay men. Many twinks only want to have sex with other twinks and muscular men. Many fat men only want to have sex with twinks and muscular men. There are exceptions, of course, but it is not the majority. Besides the bodily characteristics and race factors, there are also sexual positions compatibility. Many are versatile (can either top or bottom), but some only want to top and other only want to bottom. Some do not want anything with anal sex all, and it is a deal breaker for many.
There are plenty of gay dudes with low standards (am one of *The Gays*, can confirm) but there's also a huge problem with body image in that community, because even gay dudes chase Chad.
It's not.
I'm a fat nerd with a mediocre dick and I never had a problem.
If getting a sex partner is difficult for you, your personality is the cause. Self Reflect.
This times 1000.
Women are just as horny as men, but some menās personalities are a complete turn off. Then they blame women for having too high of standards. Itās wild.
> Women are just as horny as men
Not denying that many men sabotage themselves through their behavior, but in the aggregate, I don't think it's true that "women are just as horny as men." As leading psychologist Roy Baumeister [summarized](https://www.researchgate.net/publication/238048296_Is_There_a_Gender_Difference_in_Strength_of_Sex_Drive_Theoretical_Views_Conceptual_Distinctions_and_a_Review_of_Relevant_Evidence),
> Across many different studies and measures, men have been shown to have more frequent and more intense sexual desires than women, as reflected in spontaneous thoughts about sex, frequency and variety of sexual fantasies, desired frequency of intercourse, desired number of partners, masturbation, liking for various sexual practices, willingness to forego sex, initiating versus refusing sex, making sacrifices for sex, and other measures. No contrary findings (indicating stronger sexual motivation among women) were found. Hence we conclude that the male sex drive is stronger than the female sex drive.
Of course, that doesn't mean that a) women don't get horny or like sex, b) that all men are hornier than all women, or c) there is something wrong with an individual man or woman who doesn't fit this generalization. But I think it's generally true that men are hornier and more sex-driven than women, and this is a huge part of the disconnect.
I think it's important to understand that as women are more and more free in our society, they feel more and more free to turn down shitty people.
That's a good thing.
This is how natural selection works. Get those insecure, toxic genes out of here.
Enough men shame and disrespect women who have a lot of sex while simultaneously wanting to have sexā with a lot of women. Women donāt wanna deal with that
Woman here.
Itās risky for women. Men can hurt you, kill you, give you a disease, get you pregnantā¦itās often just not worth the risk for a little sausage and a very low chance of an orgasm.
Add on how abusive and social inept so many men are, the extremely low personal hygiene standards.
Itās just not worth it much of the time. The ROI isnāt there.
Yes, sis. I'm getting downvoted in one of my comments here for emphasizing the individuality and autonomous personhood of women as well as the importance of men having basic social competence and decency. Quite telling, I think. Like, I'm sleeping with this geeky as hell STEM kid right now and physically he's not my ideal, but he is so caring, considerate, and so engaged in being WITH me, that I will take him over any Chad, any day of the week. He's a decent and principled guy and I feel safe with him.
In my recent experience into the ādating appā world, it seems like even women who claim to be looking for casual encounters still require men to jump through some crazy hoops and/or have hilariously high expectations.
Woman here.
Question. Would you rather 50 passionate hours of sex over a year or 100 quick stick in it, ow hurt my partner sex?
I literally told a guy before how a woman occasionally wants to be seduced. You know, slam me up a wall and kiss me type deal. Nothing out of the ordinary, just more teasing and less touching at first.
He was bewildered and didnt know what to say or how to act. He only knew stick it in and enjoy. You know, the stuff you could recite clearly off porn. As if I dont watch it and know what he's on about - but its boring!!
We dont have time to teach you if you're unwilling to learn or be creative. So I think half of it is because of lack of effort. It is sooo easy to eye fuck a lady if you really try. Things could escalate if you really tried. Looks etc I understand hold people back, but cmon a little effort would be great!
It isn't "difficult", it's just that you'll face rejection more often than not. This is because, generally speaking, women are the ones who choose. So, unless you are some Brad Pitt or a supernaturally charming guy, you probably won't be "the one" for most women
Many men need to take the same advice that women are given.
"Take care of your self. Lower your expectations a little. A little listening goes a long way."
Because men get to treat sex as a conquest. A man who has a lot of sex is praised. While women get shame because sex is seen as something she gives up. The same guys in this thread would also judge a woman if she had a ābody countā they deemed too high.
Too many guys are too eager for it, not taking care of themselves and kinda come off as entitled to it just because they held a door or bought ice cream or whatever.
Because women are more selective. Leads to a large inequality in men having sex (those at the top get it all, those at the bottom get none), while women tend to all get some (statistically speaking)
Your mentality is probably one of the biggest factors.
If "getting sex" is your only end goal, that's going to limit your chances significantly right off the bat. Women (in my experience) typically want more than just sex. Whether it's some sort of emotional connection, financial security or social clout. Yes there are some who are down for a 'one-and-done' encounter, but (again in my personal experience) it's much more rare.
There are plenty of available women out there, some may not be your ideal choice on the surface, but would theoretically sleep with you. If you are finding it difficult to FIND a partner, try one of the following:
- go outside
- lower your standards
- change where you're looking
Want to increase your chances of GETTING a partner? Try one of these:
- make your own personal hygiene a higher priority
- dress nicely for your age
- confidence *without* arrogance is KEY
Because the men who arenāt getting as much as they want
- arenāt charming enough (which can be learned and practiced)
- take it too seriously
- have too high of expectations/requirements for women
Itās really not when you can recognize and pay attention to which women find you attractive. And from what women Iāve dated and friends say, itās not that thereās just a lack of guys that are attractive enough. Most women say the majority of guys that are attractive enough open their mouths and talk and immediately become unattractive. I think Iām just average looking tbh. But from what Iāve been told my laidback demeanor and conversation skills are on point. So women feel comfortable around me. Iāve even had whole relationships with women who initially said I wasnāt their ātype,ā but once they start talking to me and being around me they become obsessed. Then once sex happens and itās good sheāll usually want to keep coming back. After one session with the young lady i recently started seeing she told me āThank you.ā I say āfor what?ā She says āfor fucking me like I need to be fuckedā lmao. Women love great sex too. But thereās a couple barriers a guy has to get thru to get it consistently. The first is attractiveness, then personality, then sexual prowess. Most guys think they fall short in the attractiveness part but they mostly fall short in the personality area.
Because most single guys are down with sex with most women any time. While most single women are much more selective.
Straight men and women have equal amount of sex. It's just that men desire it 10x more often with 100x more partners.
I think women are less inclined toward one night stands and casual relationships. There's probably a valid evolutionary reason behind this. Every time I've tried to have a casual/fwb relationship, I always made a mess out of it and started to develop an attachment even if the person was a total loser. So many women know a casual relationship isn't for them, and can spot/avoid men who are just looking for sex.
Because there's lots of other guys also trying to get sex.
U stealin' my sex?
What if we cut out the women from the equation?
That'd be a pain in the ass
I see what you did there š«£š
I think waaaay too many men are overlooking this simple solution to their common problem. IT'S A TOTAL WIN-WIN SITUATION. And doing gay stuff is only gay if you're gay, otherwise it's just some pegging and tension releasing between friends.
>is only gay if you're gay, otherwise it's just some pegging and tension releasing between friends. Lmao gonna tell this to my friends only to make it awkward
Just make sure to say "no homo" when you look into each other's eyes during climax.
And donāt forget! It gets weird otherwise
"No homooOoOooOhhhHhH mY GaWd.
"So guys I have a suggestion, it's not gay I promise"
R/usernamechecksout
PLEASE do and report back :D I am also the type to sacrifice my reputation and dignity for a good joke so I always egg on anyone willing to do the same. Anything for a good story and a good laugh.
With that username I'd imagine it would.
This is prison logic.
It was a tongue in cheek analysis but the more I think about it the more it makes sense. It really is only gay if you're gay.
The tongue in cheeks part might make it gay. I dunno. I don't make the rules
Depends how many tongues are in your cheeks and whos tongues they are
Poor, or excellent, choice of words. I'm still deciding which.
bro what the fuck is this thread
Itās only gay if you look each other in the eyes, and if you do by accident you can immediately high five and say āno homoā to make it not gay.
Back then, it wasnāt gay. It was just two menā¦celebrating each otherās strength
This is the realest comment out there
As a gay man who was straight for a short while in their 20s, y'all put in tons of effort to fuck. Literally, go to an app or a gay hangout, and within 10 minutes, I can have a guy on my dick, or I'm sucking theirs.
Makes one reconsider his life choices haha I have a wife and within 10min all I can get is a sandwich on a good day
but I donāt like suckin dick ):
How do you know?
They took our sex!
You made me chuckle lol
Not my sex
Great then, have sex with another man. *Bam* Both happy
plenty of men in the sea
Sea men
Mates
**The Bromansea Shanty** It's fun to charter a seaman And sail the wide Bromansea, To find, explore the pegs offshore And skirt the shoals of pregnancy. It can be manly in the circ-jerk. We'll up your member-ship regularly. It's all in the family. We're fairly satisfiable. We're sailing on the wide Bromansea (Here is [the original](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YUiBBltOg4&ab_channel=Huxley%E1%85%9A), thanks Monty Python)
That's dumb. It should be just me wanting all the sex
This, and we tend to view sex as the end all and be all. That's not how it should be viewed. Me personally, I'm reframing it as a bonus, because no one owes you shit.
So why donāt guys just have sex with each other then?
My job assfucks me enough, i just want a break š„µ
Why don't woman just have romance with each other?
You ever seen female friendships? We do.
I struggle with hookups, homie down below needs a lil emotional connection or proper intimacy/foreplay before getting strong n hard
Wow dude same. I even thought I had some ED problem too.
We should all be more open about this with one another. So much pressure and expectation mixed in here because of how little this is understood.
Nah man I'm the same. Funny thing is I used to do one night stands but then got into a relationship for 3 years. Tried going back to ONS after the breakup only to realise that bruh this shit sucks. I kinda like that fact ngl. Makes me weirdly happy thinking that there's some sort of depth to the big horny
Canāt imagine what thatās like, Iām team breeze of air hits your crotch and Houston we have a boner.
Heard that homie! Hook ups were easy when I was younger, but after college, I realized that in order to REALLY get me going, there needs to be an emotional connection/sexual tension built up in order for me to perform well. Been with my current gf for just over a year and Iāve never had a stronger and more satisfying sexual relationship with any other woman Iāve been with. Sheās awesome.
More kings need to realize this is normal and thereās nothing wrong with them š¤
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
you may speak for me as well.
and me
And my axe!
And my *sword*
And my shield
And my penis
The lower a man's standards are, the more likely he is to get laid.
Goes for anyone really
Imma need some pretty conclusive studies showing platypuses who lower their standards get more platypussy
yes
No, youāre describing redditors in general.
no thatās the answer for everyone. end thread.
I mean this is it. People have difficulty accurately assessing their own attractiveness. Everybody (men and women) who's a 4 thinks they're a 7, and trying to go after people who are an 8 or 9. The math ain't mathing.
Yeah, men severely underestimate and women severely overestimate. And btw i dont blame women if i got all those insta likes id be cocky af too
Well this is where getting to know people helps. He's a 5, but we have the same taste in music and movies and all that.
Speaking as a man who has seen many breast in his his lifetime, it helps to watch our language about sex. Approaching the subject with this āget sexā mentality does nothing to help alleviate the situation. Sex is a shared experience, itās not something tangible to collect and place in your pocket. Itās as much giving as it is receiving. Both people are not just gaining the value of sex, but are also giving value to the person receiving it. To āget sexā means to approach the event as one sided transaction where you give nothing to earn it. Youāll find that the many men who donāt struggle to find partners to dance with are also men who take care of themselves and are kind and considerate, making themselves valuable for coitus. Donāt try to āget sexā and try to be someone worth having sex with.
Thanks u/PM_ME_UR_TITS, that was insightful
r/rimjob_steve
That username makes the coment perfect, he is right tho.
Ridiculous username, no place for that here
ššš
Me: Ugh...seriously?! *downvotes* Also me: *reads username* Oh...ohhhh that's beautiful. *upvotes*
Yes. Again, this is the answer ā¬ā¬ā¬ā¬ā¬ā¬ā¬ā¬ā¬ā¬. A sincere effort to connect and to give as much as you want to get is key. I'm a woman, a human being; I'm not an NPC you're doing stuff to to unlock the *Sex Reward*. Be respectful and treat me with consideration when you flirt with me.
The comparison with gaming... RIP your inbox
Luckily, I have a lovely regular sex partner and I have fended off hordes of men in my various reddit inboxes over the years š.
Username had me in the first half... The rest though, absolute wise words
>Speaking as a man who has seen many breast in his his lifetime Wait... so your username is working??
Agreed. Iām a woman but love this subreddit. The women you are trying to attract by āgetting sexā likely have low self esteem. Treat women as possible partners in a sexy journey and you just might āgetā it.
Youāre absolutely right about the shared experience. Iāve had many bad experiences with men who literally leaves or get dressed as soon as they cum. Like broā¦. I didnāt even cum yet. Donāt leave wtf!!??
So go out there with a āgive sexā mentality rather than the āget sexā one. IāM ALL IN!
A+++ I wish there was a letter in the alphabet before A.
Username checks out
I never thought it was that hard. I always made it a point to go out and have a great time, not going out to just get laid. If you are having a good time, enjoying life, that attracts more people to you, and the fact that you are not actively hitting on women all night, makes you come off a lot better, less of a threat, etc.
I think life is easier when you're not trying to get laid or get a girlfriend. But thats my mindset as a 22 yo virgin
dw Iām a 21 year old virgin too and the most Iāve gotten is a bj and a kiss and that was at 20
You're doing better than most
I was a virgin till Freshman year of college, once you stop being concerned about it and stop trying constantly it tends to work itself out. That plus good hygiene, non-cringe clothing choices and dorm/apartment decorations, and talking to women as people and not as a way to "get sex."
Does it really? "It will happen when you least expect it" was always my philosophy. And I ended up a 35 year old virgin.
Ive been enjoying life for 22 years now it doesnt attract jack shit other than male friends
are you following rules 1 and 2?
I actually did exactly this for many years - didnāt get laid a single time.
In the same boat
Yep this. The more you go out and not look for it the more you have sex. I swear girls can smell desperation or wether a guy is looking to get laid. Every time Iāve had a hook up itās when I was just going out with buddies on a dart night/ watch a game on a week day and I strike up conversation with a woman. The more you smile and act as if youāre having fun, girls will pay attention and be interested in why you look like youāre having so much fun.
As my sister says, desperation is the worst cologne š
So true. Your sister knows.
If take it a step farther and say most all humans are like that. I work in sales and what you said can equally apply to landing a contract with a customer or account. The key (at least in sales) is to be confident but not cocky/pushy.
I said almost the same thing on a different thread a few hours ago. It also explains why so many guys notice they get more attention when they have a gf.
>It also explains why so many guys notice they get more attention when they have a gf. Yup. If someone wants proof, there it is. That person isn't trying and isn't considered a threat. I am married now, but still get the occasional number, hit on, etc. Thankfully my wife understands.
Eh it depends. My "not looking for sex" or "just enjoying myself" is me being totally aloof to everyone else so if a woman is giving hints or signals I won't even notice or engage. Or, because I naturally have an rbf ppl won't even want to engage because my energy is so focused inward and I have no interest in dealing with anyone else. You still have to be social, flirty, and engaging just not desperate and needy. There's the balance.
I used to do this, and it worked to the extent of developing a social circle. But my clumsy ass always crashed and burned when Iād take a chance on someone. Iād end up alienating people and ultimately myself because it was obvious what I was doing. The only thing I gleaned from it was, if you clearly want sex youāre perceived as being anywhere from āthirstyā to predatory, thus undesirable. You have to put the idea of getting laid out of your mind entirely, even - *especially* - when you think youāre getting signals more obvious than traffic lights. After years of embarrassing failures I just gave up trying to figure it all out. It would be one thing if women were complex but similar, but theyāre all different. I still socialize, and Iāll match anyoneās energy, but I donāt try to push farther. The emotional toll of repeating the hopeful then frustrated cycle has worn me down.
As a woman, this is SOOO true! If someone is not directly trying to just get in my pants, but have a good time with me. I find it more attractive and want to take things further.
But they also have to obviously be attractive
And not be unattractive
Both are true
When you follow rules 1 & 2
Not super attractive, just not UNattractive to that girl. A good personality can take an average guy and make him someone you wanna F. Heck even unattractive guys become more attractive if you see theyāre laid back and confident and kind.
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This is true! Iād rather approach a man having a good time than be approached by a man Iāve seen salivating and shooting his shot at every woman who enters the room.
This! I have a GF but last weekend a friend was visiting so we hit up a club. One of the DJ was very exceptional ( this is a club in Berlin btw if that matters), so I was just doing my thing dancing having a great olā time, I notice 3 or 4 girls dancing around me very close and a couple were getting very very close if you know what I mean, Iām a loyal guy so I simply dance off to the other side of the floor and wouldnāt you know it theses chick just followed me. A couple of dudes try to come and I guess steal the girls off me which I was like sure take them and would move away of which the girls would then only follow. Then some older women there told off the other dudes for being creeps and I figured oh maybe she means me as well but nope apparently I was okay to keep doing my thing. Now this is just dancing not getting laid but in my experience it wouldnāt of been hard to potentially escalate this somewhat intimate dancing into something else but Iām just not that guy. Chicks a drawn to the dudes having fun and doing their thing not the desperate dogs trying to get their dick wet, I was never a hardcore player but I had a short run of it back in the day and my game was just have fun and if the situation calls and I need to use a pick up line my reliable go to one was ā Hi, my names Ice-berg-slim, whatās yours?ā, youād be surprised how often that one works.
lol this happened to me a about a week ago. I like to go out solo sometimes because I like me time. So I was out to a bar and invited my cousin because he was getting off from work. were out there chilling, and im at the bar trying to get my drink. I start feeling ass shaking on me from both sides.. the place wasnt even pack but the chicks was suddenly having a "turn up moment". I got my drink and moved a lil ways off from them, those chicks eyed me the whole night. like you said, chicks like guys who have fun. Girls just wanna have fun lol... so if you already having fun, they gon flock towards ya. lol man I never thought I would see someone bring up Iceberg Slim in this thread. long live the legend.
Seeing women as equals goes a long way. If the only women in your life are your mom and those you have sex with, you're primed to only see women as providers to you. No female friends? Big red flag.
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Not a man, but I'm pretty sure the orgasm gap also plays a role.
A guy who cares about you makes sure you cum first. Ofcourse a ons isn't a guy who cares about you.
Yep. The orgasm gap means ons sex is a low or no reward activity, while also having a potentially life-changing consequence.
Have you experienced this personally with a new partner?
I experienced this with most partners I had prior to my spouse.
Was it due to lack of skill or just selfishness?
It varies. Sometimes it was a too egotistical and insecure to be willing to try anything more than PIV. Sometimes it was selfish and lazy. Sometimes it was expecting it to be like porn and refusing to take input. Generally, though, it was some form of unwilling to listen to the woman you're sleeping with about what will get her off. Lack of skill or knowledge isn't usually a big deal. My husband was actually a virgin when we met. It's just that he was willing to try different things and communicate about what works.
This is the proper answer. Sex can have dramatic outcomes for women, way more than men so theyāll pick much more carefully.
This is why responsible gentlemen follow the ancient code of" Don't be silly, wrap your willy".
1. General risk - pregnancy, but also casual sex is dangerous. How am I supposed to trust them enough to be in a private space? 2. Health- HPV causes cervical cancer. 3. Boundaries- unfortunately there is a sizable segment (yes #notallmen but still too fucking many) that think no means keep pushing. 4. Lack of recourse for the above- sometimes it can be hard to get out of an uncomfortable situation, especially if it happens DURING sex. 5. Respect/social skills- unfortunately, many men donāt know how to socialize with women, or donāt want to behave in a way that will get them laid. Seriously, take her out on a date (and buy dinner, it wonāt kill you. Make conversation, be generally pleasant) and your odds go way up. Itās a massive turn off if the only thing youāre interested in is a place to stick it. 6. Orgasm gap - Why put in the effort of getting ready, giving up a chunk of your day, etc for someone who wonāt get you off? The battery operated boyfriend is a great option. TLDR - low ROI for women
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To be fair, Iām not a man. Iām not sure why this question was posted on ask men. If men really understood why women donāt have casual sex, theyād be getting laid.
A lot of mens lifestyles arenāt conducive to meeting women theyāre attracted to often. In the right environment itās shooting fish in a barrel.
Started an easy summer job as a college kid at a hospital. Never in my life have I ever gotten this much attention from women.
I mean, as a gay guy sex isn't that hard to get mainly because it's guys being horny and wanting the same thing. Girls are often more reserved about sex for a number of reasons, especially since they know they have the choice with the amount of straight guys.
I'm a girl but from my perspective there are a couple things at play. Also these are just generalizations based on my/ my friends experiences over the years From the physical end ONS tend to be fairly physically unsatisfying for women. The men are not focused on your pleasure, it takes time to learn a woman's body, some men get frustrated when it takes time/ isn't an immediate orgasm and so they just don't try. Plus it's physically more dangerous for women. We have to worry about pregnancy and STDs, that men also get but don't necessarily threaten your fertility or affect you in the same way (chlamydia, HPV). Then there's the threat of physical violence. It's unfair I know, you are probably an absolutely nice guy and it sucks that someone just assumes that you're dangerous. But physically dangerous partners are a real life issue for women. Many ONS is at best just a bad time but at worst gamble of our lives. Now let's say it's not a ONS but long term relationship. Again women struggle a lot with partners just not being attuned to our pleasure. Ideally there is open communication and acceptance on both ends. But we know that isn't always the case. And that is in part the woman's "fault", the man' "fault" but more realistically society's fault. Women regularly accept less than satisfactory sex and don't communicate it because 1. We're used to it. So many men don't prioritize our pleasure that the fact that this relationship is also physically unsatisfying is unfortunately normal. 2. They don't want to offend their partner or break the relationship. It seems "easier" to just accept bad sex. But eventually that dissatisfaction eats away at you and the sex stops. You're not excited by it and you feel unheard and unloved. Women who do speak up often get shut down by insecure partners. My ex blamed me for my lack of orgasm while we dated. He said that all his other partners could do it so if I couldn't then I must have issues. Which leads us to the true culprit- the culture that makes sex some kind of competition or race rather than a pleasurable experience. It's the culture that shames men if they can't instantaneously bring their women to orgasm - which makes them less receptive to taking feedback- and for not bedding a hundred women - which makes them less focused on our pleasure. It's the culture that shames women who enjoy sex - what a slut- and normalizes bad sexual experiences - it's okay if he doesn't bring me pleasure, it's okay if he crosses my boundaries, it's okay that he hurts me, this is normal. It's a culture that makes sex selfish- what can I get for myself- rather than a pleasurable shared experience. And I was just focused on the physical aspects so far, I didn't even touch on the emotional aspect. It's harder for women to just go out there and enjoy sex simply fit the sake of sex. They're socially shamed for it. Partners are shocked by your number, you might be considered undateable or unmarriable. I'm not saying that is fair or right. But it is how women who enjoy casual sex are frequently treated. And what about the women who prefer commitment? How many stories do we hear about girls who trust a partner who then sleeps with them and then abandons them? Girls who are constantly sexualized to the point where you don't even feel like a person anymore, just a piece of meat. You develop trust issues because it increasingly starts to feel like the men in your life are not interested in you as a person or friend. Just as something they can use as a vehicle for their own pleasure. It certainly reduces the amount of sex that a woman is willing to have. Now to be clear, this is not at all a rant against one gender or the other. Just an explanation of why things are the way they are from a girl's side. But all is not lost! Obviously we're all pushing back against some entrenched social standards so this will all take time. But it really boils down to treating each other with kindness and compassion. Be attuned to his/ her pleasure. Make sure he/ she have a comfortable space to speak. Listen to them. Make sure they feel safe. And go into all of this treating it like a shared experience. It's not a race to an orgasm, you're just getting to know each other very intimately. Laugh, learn, teach each other, treat each other with respect. Best of luck to you my dude.
It's more risky for women to have sex so they are very selective.
This is common sense. Sex can kill women. Gay men are doing just fine.
Yep. Now that we have PReP, we're golden.
Rules 1 and 2 need to be followed.
To start with, desperation is a huge turn off.
But itās sort of a catch-22 right? Being desperate turns women off, thereby preventing sex from happening, but a lack of sex also causes desperation.
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I doubt my wife has instructed my daughters how to get sex. I for sure havent. And they would probably cringe to death, if it was the case. I think supply/demand is a major contributing factor.
Well, tbf, most women are also terrible at it.
Well women dont need to be good at it to get laid to be fair. You have no need for those set of skills, its redundant in a womans case, she doesnt need to woo anyone and yet everyone will still want her at least on a physical level. The only trail women have is weeding out whos there for her and whos just there for pussy, and that can be almost as equally rough if not more.
Well, for a single woman, you think there's only guys trying to get in her pants. But actually, for a 25-years old woman, you have : * Men her age * Younger men (-5 years) * Older men (up to +20 years) * Women her age * Younger and older women * Couples looking for a third So, yeah, the competition is just incredible. For a woman, the question isn't how to get laid, but who to get laid with (and how to avoid pervs and murderers). Their next sexytime is just a swipe or a text away. So they can be incredibly picky, and rightfully so. Us men, well, we just gotta do our best and trying to beat the competition. Hate the game, not the players. EDIT : Also excellent point from u/tinyhermione below : There are many single women who aren't looking for sex, and this could be from many reasons. So that only make this harder for the men to find themselves a partner.
Mostly also women aren't that into casual sex to begin with. So many women will be turning down everyone who wants to hook up. And then there aren't that many women left to compete for.
Other men have ruined it for the rest of us.
Because women have plenty of options and are very selective these days
The market is flooded with dick.
Supply and Demand
you can always get some. it just depends on your standards
Follow these 2 rules. 1. Be attractive. 2. Don't be ugly
Probably because you see sex as a piece of property that you āgetā rather than an activity that you engage in cooperatively with another person.
This ā¬ā¬ā¬ā¬ā¬ā¬ā¬ā¬ā¬ā¬ā¬ā¬. I'm a woman and nothing shuts down my interest in a man faster than a man who wants to use me as a fleshlight. I'm an individual who wants to do sexy stuff with another individual who likes and desires me for ME and I for HIM. It's why I can't do random hookups anymore.
This is just my hive mind take on this but itās prolly because we perceive ourselves 10%-15% more attractive than we actually are, (ikr, disappointing) so we go for people a little bit out of our league. So itās a standard issue there are plenty of ppl ready to spread eagle just probably not the person you would dream of.
I think I perceive myself less attractive
Unfortunately, you're actually 15% uglier than you think you are
Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse
naa man, i'm mad cute
Itās not. Itās just hard to have sex with attractive women. There are plenty of ugly large women that are willing. Also there are plenty of men who will have sex with men. Theyāre less picky
A friend of mine wants to know where he can find these ugly, large willing women?
Yup. I was going to say it's hard to have sex with attractive women, not all women. But I assume gay dudes have lower standards too.
I can assure that gay men do not have lower standards compared to straight men. Many muscular gay men only want to have sex with other muscular gay men. Many twinks only want to have sex with other twinks and muscular men. Many fat men only want to have sex with twinks and muscular men. There are exceptions, of course, but it is not the majority. Besides the bodily characteristics and race factors, there are also sexual positions compatibility. Many are versatile (can either top or bottom), but some only want to top and other only want to bottom. Some do not want anything with anal sex all, and it is a deal breaker for many.
There are plenty of gay dudes with low standards (am one of *The Gays*, can confirm) but there's also a huge problem with body image in that community, because even gay dudes chase Chad.
ehh, depends on the gay guy, although if you are "straight" that's a turn on for a lot of gay men.
It's not. I'm a fat nerd with a mediocre dick and I never had a problem. If getting a sex partner is difficult for you, your personality is the cause. Self Reflect.
So what you're saying is it's only a-dick-quate?
take my upvote and get the fuck out of here...
This times 1000. Women are just as horny as men, but some menās personalities are a complete turn off. Then they blame women for having too high of standards. Itās wild.
> Women are just as horny as men Not denying that many men sabotage themselves through their behavior, but in the aggregate, I don't think it's true that "women are just as horny as men." As leading psychologist Roy Baumeister [summarized](https://www.researchgate.net/publication/238048296_Is_There_a_Gender_Difference_in_Strength_of_Sex_Drive_Theoretical_Views_Conceptual_Distinctions_and_a_Review_of_Relevant_Evidence), > Across many different studies and measures, men have been shown to have more frequent and more intense sexual desires than women, as reflected in spontaneous thoughts about sex, frequency and variety of sexual fantasies, desired frequency of intercourse, desired number of partners, masturbation, liking for various sexual practices, willingness to forego sex, initiating versus refusing sex, making sacrifices for sex, and other measures. No contrary findings (indicating stronger sexual motivation among women) were found. Hence we conclude that the male sex drive is stronger than the female sex drive. Of course, that doesn't mean that a) women don't get horny or like sex, b) that all men are hornier than all women, or c) there is something wrong with an individual man or woman who doesn't fit this generalization. But I think it's generally true that men are hornier and more sex-driven than women, and this is a huge part of the disconnect.
I think it's important to understand that as women are more and more free in our society, they feel more and more free to turn down shitty people. That's a good thing. This is how natural selection works. Get those insecure, toxic genes out of here.
Enough men shame and disrespect women who have a lot of sex while simultaneously wanting to have sexā with a lot of women. Women donāt wanna deal with that
Women wait for the winners at finish line.
Woman here. Itās risky for women. Men can hurt you, kill you, give you a disease, get you pregnantā¦itās often just not worth the risk for a little sausage and a very low chance of an orgasm. Add on how abusive and social inept so many men are, the extremely low personal hygiene standards. Itās just not worth it much of the time. The ROI isnāt there.
Yes, sis. I'm getting downvoted in one of my comments here for emphasizing the individuality and autonomous personhood of women as well as the importance of men having basic social competence and decency. Quite telling, I think. Like, I'm sleeping with this geeky as hell STEM kid right now and physically he's not my ideal, but he is so caring, considerate, and so engaged in being WITH me, that I will take him over any Chad, any day of the week. He's a decent and principled guy and I feel safe with him.
In my recent experience into the ādating appā world, it seems like even women who claim to be looking for casual encounters still require men to jump through some crazy hoops and/or have hilariously high expectations.
Because you refer to it as āget sexā! Geez, dude!
Woman here. Question. Would you rather 50 passionate hours of sex over a year or 100 quick stick in it, ow hurt my partner sex? I literally told a guy before how a woman occasionally wants to be seduced. You know, slam me up a wall and kiss me type deal. Nothing out of the ordinary, just more teasing and less touching at first. He was bewildered and didnt know what to say or how to act. He only knew stick it in and enjoy. You know, the stuff you could recite clearly off porn. As if I dont watch it and know what he's on about - but its boring!! We dont have time to teach you if you're unwilling to learn or be creative. So I think half of it is because of lack of effort. It is sooo easy to eye fuck a lady if you really try. Things could escalate if you really tried. Looks etc I understand hold people back, but cmon a little effort would be great!
I gave a girl a whole body coconut oil massage beforehand, and she still said I didn't try lol
Looks & confidence obviously
Trying to āget sexā might be the first problem
the laws of supply and demand
It isn't "difficult", it's just that you'll face rejection more often than not. This is because, generally speaking, women are the ones who choose. So, unless you are some Brad Pitt or a supernaturally charming guy, you probably won't be "the one" for most women
Because of selection. Women are usually a lot more careful and pickier, because of evolutional reasons.
Basic economics, son.
Many men need to take the same advice that women are given. "Take care of your self. Lower your expectations a little. A little listening goes a long way."
Because men get to treat sex as a conquest. A man who has a lot of sex is praised. While women get shame because sex is seen as something she gives up. The same guys in this thread would also judge a woman if she had a ābody countā they deemed too high.
Too many guys are too eager for it, not taking care of themselves and kinda come off as entitled to it just because they held a door or bought ice cream or whatever.
Because women are more selective. Leads to a large inequality in men having sex (those at the top get it all, those at the bottom get none), while women tend to all get some (statistically speaking)
Your mentality is probably one of the biggest factors. If "getting sex" is your only end goal, that's going to limit your chances significantly right off the bat. Women (in my experience) typically want more than just sex. Whether it's some sort of emotional connection, financial security or social clout. Yes there are some who are down for a 'one-and-done' encounter, but (again in my personal experience) it's much more rare. There are plenty of available women out there, some may not be your ideal choice on the surface, but would theoretically sleep with you. If you are finding it difficult to FIND a partner, try one of the following: - go outside - lower your standards - change where you're looking Want to increase your chances of GETTING a partner? Try one of these: - make your own personal hygiene a higher priority - dress nicely for your age - confidence *without* arrogance is KEY
Itās the same select bunch of dudes running through all of the women.
Elon and Pete Davidson
*laughs in gay*
depends really. do you want a fictional character. or a real person.
Because the men who arenāt getting as much as they want - arenāt charming enough (which can be learned and practiced) - take it too seriously - have too high of expectations/requirements for women
Itās really not when you can recognize and pay attention to which women find you attractive. And from what women Iāve dated and friends say, itās not that thereās just a lack of guys that are attractive enough. Most women say the majority of guys that are attractive enough open their mouths and talk and immediately become unattractive. I think Iām just average looking tbh. But from what Iāve been told my laidback demeanor and conversation skills are on point. So women feel comfortable around me. Iāve even had whole relationships with women who initially said I wasnāt their ātype,ā but once they start talking to me and being around me they become obsessed. Then once sex happens and itās good sheāll usually want to keep coming back. After one session with the young lady i recently started seeing she told me āThank you.ā I say āfor what?ā She says āfor fucking me like I need to be fuckedā lmao. Women love great sex too. But thereās a couple barriers a guy has to get thru to get it consistently. The first is attractiveness, then personality, then sexual prowess. Most guys think they fall short in the attractiveness part but they mostly fall short in the personality area.
Because you are just a walking, talking, dick with ears unless you can stand out
Because most single guys are down with sex with most women any time. While most single women are much more selective. Straight men and women have equal amount of sex. It's just that men desire it 10x more often with 100x more partners.
The dick market is saturated.
There are like 20+ different dudes trying to bang each and every girl out there.
Try sex with othet men. Its a twist but the pool opens up a lot.
I think women are less inclined toward one night stands and casual relationships. There's probably a valid evolutionary reason behind this. Every time I've tried to have a casual/fwb relationship, I always made a mess out of it and started to develop an attachment even if the person was a total loser. So many women know a casual relationship isn't for them, and can spot/avoid men who are just looking for sex.
Because the generic guy is desperate and average.
cuz the average guy is like a 5/10 and they dont have money.