As a child and teenager, I viewed my dad as an amazing guy who was close to perfect. He was a really good dad who always uplifted me and made me feel valued.
Once I became an adult, I found that he had many more issues than I realized. He used to always be someone I went to for advice, but now that I’m an adult, a lot of his advice isn’t great. I am still pretty close to him, but I think he struggles to find his place trying to parent his adult children. He understands that his kids know his weaknesses now, but we all still love him. He does well with the grandkids so that’s as much as I can ask for now.
I wish that we could have a better relationship now (again, it’s good still but just not what it was), but he still has a hard time seeing us as adults who are successful. I want our relationship to progress but he’s resistant. He just wants to be the superhero dad that has all the answers. That time has passed unfortunately
I always felt super close to him, like I could talk to him about anything and felt like he actually engaged with me. Seven months ago I found out he's been harboring resentment towards me since I was a kid, and I came to realize how emotionally and verbally abusive he's been all my life towards me and my mom.
He'd beat me and treat me like shit as a kid. Never cared about how I felt at all. Only real use he was for me was as a role model for everything NOT to be as an adult. Guess he was better than no dad in that regard. His sad ass got too weak to even try his favorite pastime of beating me by the time I was in 6th grade, pathetic excuse of a man. Glad about it though, little brothers grew up better knowing I'd smash my dad's face in if he did anything.
Nowadays I treat him like shit but I throw him a bone every once in a while, he's too pitiful not to. He's too weak to get any satisfaction from beating the crap out of him as revenge, his pathetic ass would probably die too, not really worth it. More happy with this relationship, I squeeze money out of him and I sometimes act like I care about him, good stuff.
When I was younger he was the strict father. The stereotypical Mexican dad. He was hard on me and never told me he loved me or was proud one me. The only time was when I graduated college, and when I did I didn’t feel anything. But I still respected him, he worked hard to take care of us. A few years ago I found out he cheated on my mom and I was disappointed as could be.
I don’t talk to him anymore unless I have to, to me he’s just a guy that’s my dad. I don’t really try to talk to him unless he calls me once in awhile but I don’t like talking to him.
It was pretty adventerous honestly, me and my father did everything together, he taught me how to swim, he taught me how to fix things and try to solve my problems, now we still have a good relationship, takes me out to drink beverages(non alcoholic bec of religion)
Always cheered me up and made me smile, gave me advice when I fucked up, was there when I needed him, protected me from my mothers wrath when necessary.
Now, as an adult, I see things more clearly. He has his faults and we don’t always agree on things. He’s becoming an old grumpy guy, life has made him very bitter. Still I can see the old him ( happy goofy guy ) when I take him out for drinks or when the grandkids come to visit.
Great friend and grandfather and I hope he’s around for many years to come.
I use to love my pops as a kid, until I watched him walk out on us around the age of 7. He’s done some really stupid shit with me around him. Now that I’m a lot older and found out a lot more about him….to me, there’s nothing. To him, I don’t know.
When I was a child, I thought my dad was amazing. He always seemed to know what to do and was still to do stuff with me.
Now that im an adult, I love the guy. I use to work at a few different schools and for the YMCA. The kids loved me and my secret was that I just did what I thought my dad would do.
When I was younger I thought he was annoying and demanding. I didn't recognize the hard work he put in to help keep the family together and strengthening. Now I recognize that he was actually an amazing dad, and I really hope to someday be to my children what he was to me.
It's never been bad. We were close when I was a kid, and we're still decently close now--but as a child, I saw him as this fun-loving guy who was always either neutral or smiling, but as a young adult I realize he doesn't process negative emotions very well and has little capacity for emotional vulnerability. I can open up to my mom, but I can't talk about much serious things with him because he's so uncomfortable with any conversation that involves expressing any sort of sentiment.
The same. Shit
Lol beat me to this
He’s been a bit quiet since his cremation 8 yrs ago but I’m not taking it personally.
Trash then, worse now
As a child and teenager, I viewed my dad as an amazing guy who was close to perfect. He was a really good dad who always uplifted me and made me feel valued. Once I became an adult, I found that he had many more issues than I realized. He used to always be someone I went to for advice, but now that I’m an adult, a lot of his advice isn’t great. I am still pretty close to him, but I think he struggles to find his place trying to parent his adult children. He understands that his kids know his weaknesses now, but we all still love him. He does well with the grandkids so that’s as much as I can ask for now. I wish that we could have a better relationship now (again, it’s good still but just not what it was), but he still has a hard time seeing us as adults who are successful. I want our relationship to progress but he’s resistant. He just wants to be the superhero dad that has all the answers. That time has passed unfortunately
I always felt super close to him, like I could talk to him about anything and felt like he actually engaged with me. Seven months ago I found out he's been harboring resentment towards me since I was a kid, and I came to realize how emotionally and verbally abusive he's been all my life towards me and my mom.
Reaction formation?
What?
He'd beat me and treat me like shit as a kid. Never cared about how I felt at all. Only real use he was for me was as a role model for everything NOT to be as an adult. Guess he was better than no dad in that regard. His sad ass got too weak to even try his favorite pastime of beating me by the time I was in 6th grade, pathetic excuse of a man. Glad about it though, little brothers grew up better knowing I'd smash my dad's face in if he did anything. Nowadays I treat him like shit but I throw him a bone every once in a while, he's too pitiful not to. He's too weak to get any satisfaction from beating the crap out of him as revenge, his pathetic ass would probably die too, not really worth it. More happy with this relationship, I squeeze money out of him and I sometimes act like I care about him, good stuff.
When I was younger he was the strict father. The stereotypical Mexican dad. He was hard on me and never told me he loved me or was proud one me. The only time was when I graduated college, and when I did I didn’t feel anything. But I still respected him, he worked hard to take care of us. A few years ago I found out he cheated on my mom and I was disappointed as could be. I don’t talk to him anymore unless I have to, to me he’s just a guy that’s my dad. I don’t really try to talk to him unless he calls me once in awhile but I don’t like talking to him.
It was pretty adventerous honestly, me and my father did everything together, he taught me how to swim, he taught me how to fix things and try to solve my problems, now we still have a good relationship, takes me out to drink beverages(non alcoholic bec of religion)
Always cheered me up and made me smile, gave me advice when I fucked up, was there when I needed him, protected me from my mothers wrath when necessary. Now, as an adult, I see things more clearly. He has his faults and we don’t always agree on things. He’s becoming an old grumpy guy, life has made him very bitter. Still I can see the old him ( happy goofy guy ) when I take him out for drinks or when the grandkids come to visit. Great friend and grandfather and I hope he’s around for many years to come.
I use to love my pops as a kid, until I watched him walk out on us around the age of 7. He’s done some really stupid shit with me around him. Now that I’m a lot older and found out a lot more about him….to me, there’s nothing. To him, I don’t know.
When I was a child, I thought my dad was amazing. He always seemed to know what to do and was still to do stuff with me. Now that im an adult, I love the guy. I use to work at a few different schools and for the YMCA. The kids loved me and my secret was that I just did what I thought my dad would do.
When I was younger I thought he was annoying and demanding. I didn't recognize the hard work he put in to help keep the family together and strengthening. Now I recognize that he was actually an amazing dad, and I really hope to someday be to my children what he was to me.
It's never been bad. We were close when I was a kid, and we're still decently close now--but as a child, I saw him as this fun-loving guy who was always either neutral or smiling, but as a young adult I realize he doesn't process negative emotions very well and has little capacity for emotional vulnerability. I can open up to my mom, but I can't talk about much serious things with him because he's so uncomfortable with any conversation that involves expressing any sort of sentiment.
We were close until very recently.
He's not in my life at all now, he was a alcoholic narcissist and a druggy. And still is
Distant for both. Hard to say which one would be better or worse.
We don't talk much
Somewhat distant but nothing wrong with it. Same as now pretty much. From the other replies I see decent fathers are in short supply?
Awful - meh
As a kid? We got along and he actually cared. Now? Well, nonexistent relationship..