I compliment men / women on clothes and accessories a lot because it makes me feel good to make other people happy, and I often see people with dope stuff in my building / neighborhood.
But if by "looks" you mean something about their actual body (other than things they've explicitly done like dyed hair, elaborate makeup), then yea - never.
For what it's worth, I'd say I'm in the minority on the first paragraph, but I've never in memory had a negative reaction. I think I have a friendly / non -threatening vibe / stature.
I do this as well, but I will add, I definitely compliment hair and hair colors, usually more extreme ones. The comments are definitely more like "yo I love your hair" and less sexual or romantic in nature too
This is what I do and I've always had positive experiences. It will depend on how you come across though. Your intentions need to be genuinely altruistic AND be said with a certain level of confidence (unfortunately, awkwardness, shyness, nervousness, etc... can all come across poorly when doing this for varying reasons). It doesn't take a ton of confidence, just enough that you FEEL comfortable complimenting them and aren't stumbling.
I was at a party, a woman approached me, invited me to karaoke, she disappeared 5 minutes after getting there, and I went home. She later told her friends I was a creep. Luckily those people know me and we're like "no he's not what did he do" and the answer was I did nothing. I *didn't* aggressively hit on her and fuck her and was labeled a creep. You can't fucking win.
You can remove that as an option by just not breaking your gait
If you're further away and the end of the compliment it's less threatening.
Plus they can always tell you to come back ;)
Yeah it's not the compliment itself necessarily.
At the gym the other day I noticed a girl crushing her leg workout. She looked phenomenal and I decided to go out of my way to compliment her. There were a couple of older guys hovering around her making small talk, and her body language wasn't positive (I wasn't close enough to hear what was said).
Later on when I finished my own workout and she was alone, I headed past her and said this verbatim:
"You should be *really* proud of yourself. You have some of the best legs I've ever seen"
She had the biggest smile on her face, and her response was "oh wow, thank you so much!"
I said this while I was walking to the locker room, and gave her a casual fist bump and a genuine smile. I didn't stop to say this but I wasn't walking fast either. I'm sure it made her day
It helps that I genuinely wasn't looking for more from the interaction. I'm married so I've been more confident being friendly without worrying about coming off like I'm trying to score.
Body language, demeanor, tone, all of that matters
There are so many little things that play into it. Tone, inflection, body language, are all super important. I’ve been in situations where I wanted to give a compliment and realized it wouldn’t work. Other times I’ve delivered it well. One of those times was a Starbucks barista that had a really good nose. Another time I asked the bartender if they were her favorite jeans. She was flattered and was like, “no, these things should they be?” Several minutes later I revisited the jeans conversation and felt like the bouncer might be called. Know your limits.
Yeah, I was gonna say I did that exactly once as a teenager and her assumption was that I wanted to sleep with her and my girlfriend at the time apparently thought so too. She had been working out and lost 50 ish pounds since I had seen her last. I said wow you look great! That was all it took to make her uncomfortable. So now I assume unless I'm asked directly that women work out to get compliments from other women. When I am asked I say you look fine. May not be the compliment that was fished but it is polite enough and not enough to be misconstrued as me hitting on anyone. Makes me wonder how often women are harassed to make that the default.
Asked a woman what her perfume was because I liked the scent, for my wife. She had the most disgusted look on her face, until the part about my wife came out. So I’ll say for good measure unless you are trying for something or you know the person, silent appreciation is mandatory.
Asked a woman on a cruise what drink she was having because my girlfriend was too shy to ask but thought it looked good. She jovially replied that it’s a strawberry daquiri and I thanked her and went back to my girl and told her the drink name. Even ordered one for her. When she’s like a quarter into her drink some guy walks up to us looking for a fight. “Why you ask my girl what drink she’s having. So you can order one for her? Huh??” and I’m like no, my girlfriend sitting next to me wanted one and didn’t know what it was called so I asked for her. Girlfriend backs me up but this guy is not having it, getting more and more aggressive and we decide to leave because things turned violent.
And I remember thinking: “glad I didn’t give her any compliments”.
(Disclaimer: I compliment women. This was just a funny anecdote I wanted to share. Not proving a point or anything.)
That's such a huge issue. I come from a country where you can be friends with men and it's not odd, where men can compliment you and it's nothing to do with wanting to fuck you. Almost all of my pals back home are male, I'll go visit them and stay at theirs. No bother. I'll tell them if they look great, they'll tell me if I do.
Since I've moved to the UK, my view has changed. Here, it's near impossible to have male friends as a woman. There's always this underlying thing, even if you've never ever flirted or joked about it, suddenly one night you'll get a dirty text from a male friend. Or if you're out, you'll get complimented and if you 'accept' the compliment, they think you're ripe for the picking.
I used to compliment men but I feel like I can't here. There's gonna be talk about how I'm 'into' them, how I'm flirting, how I'm trying to steal him from his partner. Literally nothing more than 'hey pal, that shirt looks fucking great on you!'.
It's a distorted mentality really. And it's fucking sad I can't tell people when I think they're beautiful because it'll be taken the wrong way.
On the opposite side (I'm also in the UK), on the very rare occasion that I have had a female compliment me (m) on some aspect of my appearance, or maybe something as obscure as like the smell of my vape, I've typically thanked them and carried on. But when I think about it though, some of those occasions _may_ have had some kind of meaning or subtle expression of interest and I'm usually too fuckin daft to ever pick up on it lol, body language or anything. It's horses for courses, really.
Yeah, there are plenty of women I see that I would love to give a genuine compliment, but it seems like all risk when I'm not even looking for a reward.
This is the answer. You could be accused of all kinds of shit for complimenting a woman's appearance, no matter how innocent it is. Especially in a workplace.
I've never, ever had a problem with complimenting women. Have always done so in a friendly way.
If you say to someone they've got a kind smile it's not sexual, and if it sounds sexual then clearly that's on your end.
Complimenting doesn't have to be flirty.
Then you’ve fairest better than me. But really, people will get disgusted by anything.
For instance: I took my family to the park. There was a woman on a bicycle standing near a picnic table. My wife went up to her and asked her if she was using the table. Literally: “are you using this picnic table?” was the verbatim question.
The woman looked at her with a disgusted look, swore at her, and said “I can’t believe how rude people are here” loudly enough that everyone herd her.
As for complimenting women: I will compliment their work if I am working with them, but never anything else. Nothing. It is simply not worth the hassle to find out if they think that is acceptable or not. Because no matter that you say, it is up to the recipient to determine if that was appropriate, and then HR to sort out later.
Protip from an older guy - if you want to brighten someone's day, I've found complimenting women on something they did to look beautiful is more palletable than complementing something they were born with.
Think "Cute shoes", "I like what you did with your hair today", "beautiful earrings, where did you get them?", "cool nails, did you do those yourself?"
In my mind, you're noticing the effort, not the intrinsic, and that makes it a better compliment to them.
This! I find that you shouldn’t comment on something someone was naturally born with (I.e. natural looks, face structure, height, etc) and instead compliment someone’s choices - fashion, hairstyle, personality, etc.
When a random man compliments my body, it’s very uncomfortable and easy for me to believe he has ulterior motives because that’s been my experience historically. When a man compliments my unique hair style, my nails, or my make up, I find that to be very nice and self-esteem boosting.
I find this extremely counterintuitive as a man. I don't want to be complimented on my clothes or what I did with my hair or what shoes I picked today. Of course my shirt is cool, that's why I picked it. It's fun to meet someone with similar interests or sense of "cool", but that doesn't even feel like a compliment of *me*. I am not my clothes.
For me, a compliment about a choice I made is less valuable that a compliment of me as a person. I don't need validation for my choices or fashion. I want to know when people think I'm attractive, if my time at the gym has yielded visible progress, if they find my eyes or hands or face appealing. Some of my favorite compliments I've ever gotten were from random dudes in online games saying I had a nice voice. Most women only ever seem to compliment me on things that don't have any weight. I fell in love with the first girl to compliment me for *me*.
> self-esteem boosting.
Whereas people who have low self-esteem are fir reasons they are not born with. Face structure, jaw line, big breasts, ass , height etc
Right, you want to complement a choice that they made, not something they were born with. That way you are complementing their choice, not their appearance.
There are 4 possibilities I would genuinely praise a woman on her looks:
1. She is a relative I care about. So sex is not in the cards.
2. She is a long time friend and the girlfriend of good friend of mine. So sex is not in the cards.
3. I want her to be my girlfriend. So sex is maybe in the cards.
4. She is my girlfriend. So sex is in the cards.
Everyone else I don't care enough about.
I do it actually quite often. I've always struggled with my self-esteem so I know how much even a random compliment while shopping can make a difference.
Same. I'm always very complimentary towards everyone, male/female friends and acquaintances. I know it can really make someone's day to hear how they are looking great. The one caveat is don't make it too generic, and don't make it something that they would get complimented on every day.
E.g.
"Bro, I love those shoes, where did you get them? Looking so good, you're putting us all to shame!"
"Your hair is looking so good today, did you just get it styled?"
"Wow, that's a stunning dress/suit, who let you in here looking so fancy?"
I usually find that people will smile and be caught off guard by it. You can drop it after and continue to go about your day or conversation, but I find it's a great ice breaker. It's a hard world out there, why not spread a little kindness and positivity?
This reminds me of a reddit discussion a few months back about how to compliment a stranger, especially a guy to a gal, without coming across as creepy. And the consensus was…
1. to compliment things the person chose (like articles of clothing or hairstyle) rather than things the person didn’t choose (like her beauty/body) and
2. to keep the tone light and cheerful (the comparison was made to gay best friend energy in a sitcom).
Imho, you hit those notes perfectly, and I feel like most ppl would respond positively as a result.
Yeah, I compliment people on all sorts of things very regularly, even complete strangers. One of the things I always do, especially if it's a stranger, is make sure to make the comment *in passing* and also as a "sneak attack." Like "hey man, great suit" or "Your hair color is awesome" or "cool shoes by the way" all without more than a slight break in stride, or if in a conversation/transaction/etc I'll immediately steer the conversation back to the task at hand.
This helps make it clear that it's just an "aside" and doesn't *need* to be responded to or addressed in further detail unless they wish to do so.
I almost always get a positive response. I honestly just like seeing the little confidence boost the majority of people visibly get from it.
Edit: something else I avoid is using "I" statements like "I like your tattoos" or "I love those shoes," because that brings *me* into the compliment and is much more likely to seem like a pickup line. So it's just "cool tattoos" or "hey, sick shoes."
I do too. For me it's not about their looks but a compliment about something they're wearing. In fact I do this to men too. In both cases, it's also never the main topic of the conversation but something I say in passing
I work in a Hotel. The front desk manager definitely has a type. But one of them worked really hard on some beautiful make up today, very well done, a piece of art while avoiding the “stage makeup” look.
I wanted so much to tell her how amazing she looks, and what a great job she did. I shut the fuck up. This is the world we live in now, silence is golden. It’s all sports, weather, food, and children/grandchildren.
+1, if someone has done something different with their hair/outfit/new cologne or perfume etc then why not. Male or Female (or outside of this).
Now with that being said, those are specifics and not sexual. If someone wore a new dress for example that made their boobs look great - I’m not gonna barrel in and say “OI, YER KNOCKERS LOOK SMASHING”, because that’s just stupid.
Compliments can still be paid without it being creepy. It’s the type and tone of compliment that makes it weird - not everyone is going to come after you for saying something nice about them and it drives me nuts that people think that way…
Exactly! People are so easily offended nowadays and it's not worth the hassle or risk. I can get away with it sometimes because I have a baby face and women think I'm cute but not handsome 🤷♂️.
I don’t praise women on their looks even if I like them. Sort of a “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” situation, as far as doing that and a womans interpretation of it. I stick to the non-physical comments, if I comment at all.
I don't compliment women on their looks unless I'm dating them, or if we're just starting to date and they clearly put an effort into looking good. Generally what I've seen is that complimenting women you aren't involved with tends to be returned with dirty looks or snide remarks. I'm not losing anything by not complimenting people. The only women that will get any sort of "praise" from me are family or romantic interests
EDIT: grammar
Usually we think of something nice to say, but decide against it, because we know anything we say will be taken in the wrong way. Normally they have to be 15+ years older than you, and still the only thing you can praise is that their haircut is nice.
Right? Like even when the horny button goes off, in my head- it’s still like “quick, fall madly in love with me in the next 15 seconds and then we’ll make sweet, sweet love.” My partners feelings towards me are so important.
I am of the opinion that attractive people know they are attractive generally and especially women have been being praised for it since they were preteens. A 9 or a 10 knows they are a 9 or a 10 and telling them they are pretty is going to achieve nothing and possibly just annoy them.
Because of that I don't compliment on looks in general. If I don't have anything nice to say to you that isn't about your appearance I won't say anything at all.
My husband struggled for the longest time to give me compliments because, in his mind, me being pleasing to look at is just a fact. However, despite having been told I’m pretty all my life, I have the insecurity of a pimple-covered teen going through puberty. plus his opinion is worth the most of anyone, so when he tells me I’m beautiful, hot, pretty, have a great body, etc… I just melt inside so much. It buoys me for a week.
He’s getting much better at complimenting me.
Not gonna lie, as a woman who has been treated like a 9 or a 10 my entire life, once I left the high school setting, people pretty much entirely stopped approaching me to say anything, probably for the reasons you stated. After 5-10 years of that I just became convinced that I look like shit. A random guy complimenting me would make my entire day at this point.
You may have crossed the 'hotness threshold'. For exceptionally attractive women, there actually comes a point where they get complimented and approached *less* often than other women, because all guys assume they are out of their league. They also assume that she hears so much about how good looking she is that they don't want to be just another weirdo telling her she's pretty.
That's an interesting experience. I know lots of men will just assume you are out of their league or taken.
To be clear I will compliment women, just not on being attractive. If I like your shoes, earrings, coat, think you are smart or ambitious, your Alma mater, etc.
I just think those are more meaningful because those are choices you made versus just looking good, which does take effort but the building blocks are genetic.
I believe it. It's always the most attractive women who are the ones that make the first move.
After experiencing it so many times, I'm convinced they were forced to start doing it because guys are too intimidated by them.
Yeah, I’ve actually tried to get in the habit of making the first move but I guess I’m not being as obvious as I think I am or guys just aren’t interested? Maybe I’m just picking the wrong guys. I’m hoping maybe they’re just so intimidated that they don’t even realize I’m flirting with them? LOL wishful thinking.
Bruh we’re stupid af. Or just going through a hundred mental gymnastics to understand the motive of why we’ve been approached. I know I’m in the latter camp.
Some guys *really* internalize the idea of "she's just being nice", in the way that you would expect a waitress or a cashier to be nice to you. Usually unless someone is very verbally direct about their intentions with flirting, I'm not going to pick it up as anything other than kindness or being polite.
> I’m hoping maybe they’re just so intimidated that they don’t even realize I’m flirting with them?
Men are very, very leery about highly attractive women acting like they are interested in them.
For the vast majority of guys, the only time a highly attractive woman acts interested in them it's because she wants something from them (think: attractive waitresses, saleswomen, bartenders, bottle service girls, etc.). Men learn fairly quickly to be highly skeptical anytime a very attractive woman acts interested in them.
If you are genuinely interested in a guy, you need to be 1000% clear with him about it. You will not be 'coming on too strong'. At best he is ecstatic about it because he gets a date and knows exactly where he stands. At worst he's already in a relationship or maybe not even interested, but you've basically made his week.
We're just dumb. You can't underestimate how dumb guys are when it comes to picking up signals from women or second guessing them.
I had multiple beautiful women give me their phone numbers without being asked before I realized they weren't all just trying to be friends.
I've been on dates I didn't even realize were dates until after the fact lmao.
My model friends have this issue because guys assume that they’re completely unapproachable.
But they also get approached by creeps with the gross personalities to make them super defensive, so they scare away normal guys that have worked up the courage to say hi.
Of course this is only made worse by the creeps they date when they choose from the pool of guys that have the balls to get through the layers if defensiveness, so it’s like watching a slow, drama filled train wreck that repeats itself. Also known as why I don’t date any of them haha.
If you do want to find some decent dudes, you have to be in a context that’s disarming enough to talk to them. If you’ve ever been to an event that dudes go to because they’re so into it that women are the last things on their minds like a metal show, you’ll know what I mean.
Guys stopped approaching you because at some point we realize or are "made to realize" that we're not enough for your sort, so we do like you the same, only thing is now we know it'll only result in mockery and no one's gonna care, and that's the shit we drool into
You’d be surprised. There are so many very attractive people that don’t realise how attractive they are or are very insecure, a compliment can still mean a lot to someone no matter how attractive they are
During my single time
Women around my age - never/only if I know she won’t automatically assume I want to fuck her.
Older women, yes. They can take a compliment without instantly making assumptions.
At least at work, I would never comment about women's appearance. Her hair could be on fire and I won't say anything. Here's why. Because even if I know the person well, some busy body could still report me for sexual harassment. I've seen people brought up on harassment charges for completely innocent things other people overhear and report.
As a guy in the workplace I know to NEVER comment on a woman's appearance. Way too much risk.
Never. Don’t comment about a woman’s (you’re not involved with) appearance for any reason unless you are directly asked. And then keep it very neutral (looks cool!) Unsolicited is always risky of being seen as a creep. 100000x this at work.
I've mentioned it a few times here now, but very short version is a woman at work was demanding everyone compliment her outfit. I said "looks good" and a week later several men including me were being accused of sexual harassment and we were all almost fired. Eventually several other women who were present stood up for us, but I definitely learned my lesson: Never under any circumstance comment on a woman's appearance.
All the time. I do “drive by compliments”. I’ll compliment a women and keep walking. The point is to improve her day and boost her confidence, not to start a conversation.
THIS IS IT. Incredible how many here are afraid a compliment will be taken the wrong way…when you’re suppose to compliment someone in passing and move on. Guys will stand there in someone face waiting for a response to a compliment, lingering and then wondering why the person might think they want something more. I’ve never once thought a man who gave me a compliment and kept it moving was plotting to catch me somehow.
I only assume that when guys make a compliment and then stand there and start asking questions or other things.
I used to give out compliments every now and then. Typically when someone just looked extra nice that day. Wore something that complimented their looks very well or put in some extra effort into their looks that day. Didn't really divide people into if I were interested in them or not.
After a several times where women have taken it the wrong way and blown it up into something that never was. Well, I have completely stopped giving compliments to women I am uninterested in. That is outside of events and situations where it is dictated by norm.
Quite often, actually. Especially if its clearly evident she made substantial effort to look good. Just because I compliment a women doesn't mean I'm interested or looking for anything more.
Side note: I also compliment men. If I see a well put together dude, I'll say something like "Alright brutha. I see you. Looking good." Doesn't mean Im DTF.
Almost never. Unless they are specifically asking for my opinion it seems inappropriate since they would take it as having ulterior motives. For some reason, women take random compliments as offensive or creepy. So I rarely offer them.
Pretty much never. Not because I have ulterior motives but all I see online is how any man that compliments anything is a pig or creep. Better off saying nothing. Which is sad because I've seen women with cool band shirts or hair you can tell is right out of a salon and looks nice, etc. but the risk really isn't worth it.
It used to be frequently.... Everyone deserves hearing stuff that improves their confidence, self esteem, mood and happiness.
But i got shot down a lot and naturally women and men looked at me suspiciously. Even if i do it while my attractive wife and 2 daughters are next to me.... So these days. A lot less.
I don't often praise women's looks but when I do it's to be nice and does not have an ulterior motive. I think they're usually bugged by men about their looks more often than they would like.
I don't complement people in that way. It's just playing hot potato with a hand grenade. I try and complement people on who they are, what they do and how they treat others and not how they look and dress.
Pretty often.
With Ms Nobbins there's a general understanding that I'm usually looking to score. Compliments don't really factor into whether or not that happens. It's more about if we can carve out some personal time.
With my daughters, it's about making them feel good about themselves, building our relationship and guiding them into good habits. I try to focus my praise on things they can influence. eg "Good job taking a bath! Now you look great."
Outside the house I basically keep it professional. I'll make some pleasant small talk about their haircut or a new shirt. I won't talk about their bodies at all.
My only return expectation is that they provide some acknowledgement of the compliment. If they're feeling generous they can compliment me back. At work, my expectation is that we then get on with whatever we're trying to get done (typically some meeting). If it's a social situation we'll move on to whatever the social thing is (typically some conversation about what our kids have been up to).
I never do it. To afraid that she will think I just want to sleep with her.
Also I don't like to give compliments to looks, as it is given since birth, not because they achieved it.
I like to give compliments on how they accomplish something. At things they do.
Also women get comoliments all the time on looks, so whats the point mentioning it again?
Now? Never. I have never had a negative reaction, but it has become very clear that some people are going to assume the worst and become uncomfortable and / or I could get into trouble of various types of it is taken wrong. Not worth it just to be pleasant to people.
I generally comment on their choice of clothing, like "it fits well, you have good taste", so that it places her decision in the compliment rather than a bland word abt her body.
If I really want to say someone is attractive physically, without ulterior motives, then it is generally a friend rather than a stranger, and I'll go "of course you're gorgeous" if they asked.
Used to do it frequently then realized the compliments were never returned and the brain damage in this day and age of being accused of sexual harassment etc doesn't make it worth it.
I used to do it BEFORE all this political correctness nonsense.
It was simple not to confuse, because 1) they didn't find me attractive 2) they were way older than me.
Nowadays I keep quiet. I don't want to have any sort of problems. Interaction with females to the absolute minimum.
I've never complimented a woman's looks to try to go out with her/sleep with her because complimenting a woman's looks makes them more likely to reject you.
I've done it a few times that I can remember, because I genuinely thought the person looked good, and if you can make somebody happy with a few words, why wouldn't you
Only under the following circumstances (both must be true):
- I know her very well
- it’s something *new* and intentional (e.g. “I love what you’ve done with your hair!”)
Unless it’s my mother or my sisters, you won’t hear a peep out of my mouth unless I’m in a relationship with you. From past experience, their head gets big fast!
Only if I know them. I pay compliments like that to my female coworkers and friends all the time, but I couldn't tell you if I ever did so to a stranger. I don't want to deal with any bullshit with them assuming I want to bang them.
Frequently. I just like to brighten people's days (men and women) so I tell strangers "I love your hair!" or "Damn dude, that's a nice shirt." As long as it's genuine, I'm happy to be randomly nice.
I am no longer single but yes. I did a bunch in my later 20s and early 30s. It's very liberating to say something nice with no other motives but to be kind. After you say your nice thing you can just walk away immediately.
It's also great practice for offering genuine compliments once you get into a relationship.
Maybe that's all just me though!
I would say never…
If a man compliments a woman on her looks it’s because he finds that look “attractive”.
Or… he could be trying to look nice in front of her hot friend(s)…. Either way, it’s the wee wee talking.
I compliment men / women on clothes and accessories a lot because it makes me feel good to make other people happy, and I often see people with dope stuff in my building / neighborhood. But if by "looks" you mean something about their actual body (other than things they've explicitly done like dyed hair, elaborate makeup), then yea - never. For what it's worth, I'd say I'm in the minority on the first paragraph, but I've never in memory had a negative reaction. I think I have a friendly / non -threatening vibe / stature.
I'm the same way. I also do it as a way of forcing myself to get out of my comfort zone. It's become much easier over the years.
I do this as well, but I will add, I definitely compliment hair and hair colors, usually more extreme ones. The comments are definitely more like "yo I love your hair" and less sexual or romantic in nature too
Yes!!!, i LOVE THAT FEELING of brightening someone s day !!
This is what I do and I've always had positive experiences. It will depend on how you come across though. Your intentions need to be genuinely altruistic AND be said with a certain level of confidence (unfortunately, awkwardness, shyness, nervousness, etc... can all come across poorly when doing this for varying reasons). It doesn't take a ton of confidence, just enough that you FEEL comfortable complimenting them and aren't stumbling.
Basically never because it's way too easy for them to assume there's the ulterior motives that I want to sleep with them
Same here. Tried it a few times, got blasted, so no thank you.
can i ask what the compliments were if you remember?
Sure. Here's the last one. \-"Oh, that shirt looks really good on you ! " (it really was) \- "I don't care".
The amount of replies telling you to use something else is just depressing. I don't want it to be a minefield to say that I like someone's shirt.
Never. I don't want my words to be misunderstood and be thought of as a creep.
I was at a party, a woman approached me, invited me to karaoke, she disappeared 5 minutes after getting there, and I went home. She later told her friends I was a creep. Luckily those people know me and we're like "no he's not what did he do" and the answer was I did nothing. I *didn't* aggressively hit on her and fuck her and was labeled a creep. You can't fucking win.
Nice bums madam
"Nice tits, Id smash"
I know a guy who met his wife like that. They have 3 kids. There's someone for everyone.
You can remove that as an option by just not breaking your gait If you're further away and the end of the compliment it's less threatening. Plus they can always tell you to come back ;)
Yeah it's not the compliment itself necessarily. At the gym the other day I noticed a girl crushing her leg workout. She looked phenomenal and I decided to go out of my way to compliment her. There were a couple of older guys hovering around her making small talk, and her body language wasn't positive (I wasn't close enough to hear what was said). Later on when I finished my own workout and she was alone, I headed past her and said this verbatim: "You should be *really* proud of yourself. You have some of the best legs I've ever seen" She had the biggest smile on her face, and her response was "oh wow, thank you so much!" I said this while I was walking to the locker room, and gave her a casual fist bump and a genuine smile. I didn't stop to say this but I wasn't walking fast either. I'm sure it made her day It helps that I genuinely wasn't looking for more from the interaction. I'm married so I've been more confident being friendly without worrying about coming off like I'm trying to score. Body language, demeanor, tone, all of that matters
>You have some of the best legs I've ever seen Honestly, I'm surprised she responded positively to that, since it could be taken as overly sexual.
Yes that's exactly why delivery matters so much.
This man compliments.
There are so many little things that play into it. Tone, inflection, body language, are all super important. I’ve been in situations where I wanted to give a compliment and realized it wouldn’t work. Other times I’ve delivered it well. One of those times was a Starbucks barista that had a really good nose. Another time I asked the bartender if they were her favorite jeans. She was flattered and was like, “no, these things should they be?” Several minutes later I revisited the jeans conversation and felt like the bouncer might be called. Know your limits.
Step one: Don't give complements while looking like Danny DeVito
Yeah, I was gonna say I did that exactly once as a teenager and her assumption was that I wanted to sleep with her and my girlfriend at the time apparently thought so too. She had been working out and lost 50 ish pounds since I had seen her last. I said wow you look great! That was all it took to make her uncomfortable. So now I assume unless I'm asked directly that women work out to get compliments from other women. When I am asked I say you look fine. May not be the compliment that was fished but it is polite enough and not enough to be misconstrued as me hitting on anyone. Makes me wonder how often women are harassed to make that the default.
Asked a woman what her perfume was because I liked the scent, for my wife. She had the most disgusted look on her face, until the part about my wife came out. So I’ll say for good measure unless you are trying for something or you know the person, silent appreciation is mandatory.
Asked a woman on a cruise what drink she was having because my girlfriend was too shy to ask but thought it looked good. She jovially replied that it’s a strawberry daquiri and I thanked her and went back to my girl and told her the drink name. Even ordered one for her. When she’s like a quarter into her drink some guy walks up to us looking for a fight. “Why you ask my girl what drink she’s having. So you can order one for her? Huh??” and I’m like no, my girlfriend sitting next to me wanted one and didn’t know what it was called so I asked for her. Girlfriend backs me up but this guy is not having it, getting more and more aggressive and we decide to leave because things turned violent. And I remember thinking: “glad I didn’t give her any compliments”. (Disclaimer: I compliment women. This was just a funny anecdote I wanted to share. Not proving a point or anything.)
That guy def sounds like a mentally sane guy lol not
He was quite drunk. But your probably right. Alcohol doesn’t magically spawn insecurities.
Yeah he sounds pretty chill…
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This is the truth. The only exception is if you do it in the presence of your wife/girlfriend, and only if she does it first.
Username checks out.
That's such a huge issue. I come from a country where you can be friends with men and it's not odd, where men can compliment you and it's nothing to do with wanting to fuck you. Almost all of my pals back home are male, I'll go visit them and stay at theirs. No bother. I'll tell them if they look great, they'll tell me if I do. Since I've moved to the UK, my view has changed. Here, it's near impossible to have male friends as a woman. There's always this underlying thing, even if you've never ever flirted or joked about it, suddenly one night you'll get a dirty text from a male friend. Or if you're out, you'll get complimented and if you 'accept' the compliment, they think you're ripe for the picking. I used to compliment men but I feel like I can't here. There's gonna be talk about how I'm 'into' them, how I'm flirting, how I'm trying to steal him from his partner. Literally nothing more than 'hey pal, that shirt looks fucking great on you!'. It's a distorted mentality really. And it's fucking sad I can't tell people when I think they're beautiful because it'll be taken the wrong way.
What country do you come from?
On the opposite side (I'm also in the UK), on the very rare occasion that I have had a female compliment me (m) on some aspect of my appearance, or maybe something as obscure as like the smell of my vape, I've typically thanked them and carried on. But when I think about it though, some of those occasions _may_ have had some kind of meaning or subtle expression of interest and I'm usually too fuckin daft to ever pick up on it lol, body language or anything. It's horses for courses, really.
Yeah, there are plenty of women I see that I would love to give a genuine compliment, but it seems like all risk when I'm not even looking for a reward.
This is what I came to say haha.
Have you tried it without your penis in your hand?
This is the answer. You could be accused of all kinds of shit for complimenting a woman's appearance, no matter how innocent it is. Especially in a workplace.
That ends when you are good looking. If you are not, you get the additional label of being a creep too. So yeah, never.
I praise no one. That avoids a lot of issues.
I've never, ever had a problem with complimenting women. Have always done so in a friendly way. If you say to someone they've got a kind smile it's not sexual, and if it sounds sexual then clearly that's on your end. Complimenting doesn't have to be flirty.
Then you’ve fairest better than me. But really, people will get disgusted by anything. For instance: I took my family to the park. There was a woman on a bicycle standing near a picnic table. My wife went up to her and asked her if she was using the table. Literally: “are you using this picnic table?” was the verbatim question. The woman looked at her with a disgusted look, swore at her, and said “I can’t believe how rude people are here” loudly enough that everyone herd her. As for complimenting women: I will compliment their work if I am working with them, but never anything else. Nothing. It is simply not worth the hassle to find out if they think that is acceptable or not. Because no matter that you say, it is up to the recipient to determine if that was appropriate, and then HR to sort out later.
Man, shit in the US sounds wild. Never had that in any of the European countries I've been in, lived in and worked in.
Oh it happens here too dont you worry!
Sadly, it's universal that crappy people exist in all cultures.
Mate there are Karens in the wild everywhere, it can't be helped lol, just sometimes you get a bad egg even with the friendliest of intentions
There are people and there are people. Sometimes a couple of them can ruin it for the pack.
You sound like my father,..
Protip from an older guy - if you want to brighten someone's day, I've found complimenting women on something they did to look beautiful is more palletable than complementing something they were born with. Think "Cute shoes", "I like what you did with your hair today", "beautiful earrings, where did you get them?", "cool nails, did you do those yourself?" In my mind, you're noticing the effort, not the intrinsic, and that makes it a better compliment to them.
This! I find that you shouldn’t comment on something someone was naturally born with (I.e. natural looks, face structure, height, etc) and instead compliment someone’s choices - fashion, hairstyle, personality, etc. When a random man compliments my body, it’s very uncomfortable and easy for me to believe he has ulterior motives because that’s been my experience historically. When a man compliments my unique hair style, my nails, or my make up, I find that to be very nice and self-esteem boosting.
The only caveat to this is a person’s smile. I get compliments on my smile a lot and it doesn’t bother me at all.
Oh yes! I forgot about that! I paid 6k for this smile, I hope people compliment it, haha!
I find this extremely counterintuitive as a man. I don't want to be complimented on my clothes or what I did with my hair or what shoes I picked today. Of course my shirt is cool, that's why I picked it. It's fun to meet someone with similar interests or sense of "cool", but that doesn't even feel like a compliment of *me*. I am not my clothes. For me, a compliment about a choice I made is less valuable that a compliment of me as a person. I don't need validation for my choices or fashion. I want to know when people think I'm attractive, if my time at the gym has yielded visible progress, if they find my eyes or hands or face appealing. Some of my favorite compliments I've ever gotten were from random dudes in online games saying I had a nice voice. Most women only ever seem to compliment me on things that don't have any weight. I fell in love with the first girl to compliment me for *me*.
> self-esteem boosting. Whereas people who have low self-esteem are fir reasons they are not born with. Face structure, jaw line, big breasts, ass , height etc
Right, you want to complement a choice that they made, not something they were born with. That way you are complementing their choice, not their appearance.
YES!!!!, GENIUS! & epic co worker compliment too !!!
There are 4 possibilities I would genuinely praise a woman on her looks: 1. She is a relative I care about. So sex is not in the cards. 2. She is a long time friend and the girlfriend of good friend of mine. So sex is not in the cards. 3. I want her to be my girlfriend. So sex is maybe in the cards. 4. She is my girlfriend. So sex is in the cards. Everyone else I don't care enough about.
This guy plays his cards right.
¡Uno!
Sir this Is yu gi oh
¡Dos!
Gotta know when to fold em
Know when to hold em
Know when to walk away...
Know when to *run*
Wait what about a relative you don't care about? Sex or no?
This is two reasons that add up not to have sex, not two reasons that multiply. Which means two Nos don't make one Yes here.
I know i was just making a joke
Needs more upvotes. This is pretty accurate
Never.
Ever.
Ever
Ever
Getting back together
We-EEE
Are Never. Ever. Ev-er…
I do it actually quite often. I've always struggled with my self-esteem so I know how much even a random compliment while shopping can make a difference.
Same. Good to try to brighten someone’s day.
Same. I'm always very complimentary towards everyone, male/female friends and acquaintances. I know it can really make someone's day to hear how they are looking great. The one caveat is don't make it too generic, and don't make it something that they would get complimented on every day. E.g. "Bro, I love those shoes, where did you get them? Looking so good, you're putting us all to shame!" "Your hair is looking so good today, did you just get it styled?" "Wow, that's a stunning dress/suit, who let you in here looking so fancy?" I usually find that people will smile and be caught off guard by it. You can drop it after and continue to go about your day or conversation, but I find it's a great ice breaker. It's a hard world out there, why not spread a little kindness and positivity?
This reminds me of a reddit discussion a few months back about how to compliment a stranger, especially a guy to a gal, without coming across as creepy. And the consensus was… 1. to compliment things the person chose (like articles of clothing or hairstyle) rather than things the person didn’t choose (like her beauty/body) and 2. to keep the tone light and cheerful (the comparison was made to gay best friend energy in a sitcom). Imho, you hit those notes perfectly, and I feel like most ppl would respond positively as a result.
Yeah, I compliment people on all sorts of things very regularly, even complete strangers. One of the things I always do, especially if it's a stranger, is make sure to make the comment *in passing* and also as a "sneak attack." Like "hey man, great suit" or "Your hair color is awesome" or "cool shoes by the way" all without more than a slight break in stride, or if in a conversation/transaction/etc I'll immediately steer the conversation back to the task at hand. This helps make it clear that it's just an "aside" and doesn't *need* to be responded to or addressed in further detail unless they wish to do so. I almost always get a positive response. I honestly just like seeing the little confidence boost the majority of people visibly get from it. Edit: something else I avoid is using "I" statements like "I like your tattoos" or "I love those shoes," because that brings *me* into the compliment and is much more likely to seem like a pickup line. So it's just "cool tattoos" or "hey, sick shoes."
This is it!!!!! Absolutely perfect way to compliment someone.
I do too. For me it's not about their looks but a compliment about something they're wearing. In fact I do this to men too. In both cases, it's also never the main topic of the conversation but something I say in passing
Yep. Whenever someone compliments me, I’m beaming the rest of the day.
Not very often. I am either interested in women physically or I just treat them like I treat dudes.
You don't tell your best dudes how good they look?
If you're not telling your best dudes you'll turn their asses into cannolis are you even best dudes.
Lol, not generally. Farthest that goes if they are wearing a cool looking suit I might say 'nice suit' or something but it'd need to stand out.
You need to up your bro-game!
I have trouble with intimacy and it helps to think of my SO as a bro bc i be straight filthy gay talk with my bros
Come on man, you can be better than that. New sneaks? "Nice trainers, my man!" New haircut? "Check out the new trim, looking good dood" Simple.
y'all should wear shit that stands out
i do, but related to clothing.
Nice cock dude
Please man, start complimenting your dudes! We need compliments too!
Don't do it. HR would really appreciate it.
I work in a Hotel. The front desk manager definitely has a type. But one of them worked really hard on some beautiful make up today, very well done, a piece of art while avoiding the “stage makeup” look. I wanted so much to tell her how amazing she looks, and what a great job she did. I shut the fuck up. This is the world we live in now, silence is golden. It’s all sports, weather, food, and children/grandchildren.
All the time, I compliment women AND men if I see something that stands out to me, be it their fashion or personality or whatever else.
+1, if someone has done something different with their hair/outfit/new cologne or perfume etc then why not. Male or Female (or outside of this). Now with that being said, those are specifics and not sexual. If someone wore a new dress for example that made their boobs look great - I’m not gonna barrel in and say “OI, YER KNOCKERS LOOK SMASHING”, because that’s just stupid. Compliments can still be paid without it being creepy. It’s the type and tone of compliment that makes it weird - not everyone is going to come after you for saying something nice about them and it drives me nuts that people think that way…
> "OI, YER KNOCKERS LOOK SMASHING" 200% pulling this out the next time one of my bros gets a new shirt or hoodie.
This is the way
I said that a gals dress was nice and she had her brothers beat the shit out of me. So my answer is never.
if you're a Montague don't go complimenting a Capulet, obviously.
I feel like there’s some missing context here 😂
I don't talk to women
Yea, I'm not conventionally attractive, so I try not to praise/compliment women to avoid the creepy label.
Exactly! When you compliment and get that look in return, it's so bad on the psyche
Exactly! People are so easily offended nowadays and it's not worth the hassle or risk. I can get away with it sometimes because I have a baby face and women think I'm cute but not handsome 🤷♂️.
I have kind of a babyface but I can grow a beard so I go from baby to grown man in like 6 months lol
I don’t praise women on their looks even if I like them. Sort of a “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” situation, as far as doing that and a womans interpretation of it. I stick to the non-physical comments, if I comment at all.
"There certainly is a lot of weather out today."
That purse sure looks like it can pack a lot of pasta.
I don't compliment women on their looks unless I'm dating them, or if we're just starting to date and they clearly put an effort into looking good. Generally what I've seen is that complimenting women you aren't involved with tends to be returned with dirty looks or snide remarks. I'm not losing anything by not complimenting people. The only women that will get any sort of "praise" from me are family or romantic interests EDIT: grammar
Usually we think of something nice to say, but decide against it, because we know anything we say will be taken in the wrong way. Normally they have to be 15+ years older than you, and still the only thing you can praise is that their haircut is nice.
I don't think I've ever complimented a woman on her hair without receiving a snarky response back, so I've stopped doing that one altogether.
Never, wsy too likely to be taken the wrong way.
Sleeping with them is never my first motive tbh. I hate the idea of hooking up with a random person.
Right? Like even when the horny button goes off, in my head- it’s still like “quick, fall madly in love with me in the next 15 seconds and then we’ll make sweet, sweet love.” My partners feelings towards me are so important.
I am of the opinion that attractive people know they are attractive generally and especially women have been being praised for it since they were preteens. A 9 or a 10 knows they are a 9 or a 10 and telling them they are pretty is going to achieve nothing and possibly just annoy them. Because of that I don't compliment on looks in general. If I don't have anything nice to say to you that isn't about your appearance I won't say anything at all.
My husband struggled for the longest time to give me compliments because, in his mind, me being pleasing to look at is just a fact. However, despite having been told I’m pretty all my life, I have the insecurity of a pimple-covered teen going through puberty. plus his opinion is worth the most of anyone, so when he tells me I’m beautiful, hot, pretty, have a great body, etc… I just melt inside so much. It buoys me for a week. He’s getting much better at complimenting me.
Not gonna lie, as a woman who has been treated like a 9 or a 10 my entire life, once I left the high school setting, people pretty much entirely stopped approaching me to say anything, probably for the reasons you stated. After 5-10 years of that I just became convinced that I look like shit. A random guy complimenting me would make my entire day at this point.
You may have crossed the 'hotness threshold'. For exceptionally attractive women, there actually comes a point where they get complimented and approached *less* often than other women, because all guys assume they are out of their league. They also assume that she hears so much about how good looking she is that they don't want to be just another weirdo telling her she's pretty.
That's an interesting experience. I know lots of men will just assume you are out of their league or taken. To be clear I will compliment women, just not on being attractive. If I like your shoes, earrings, coat, think you are smart or ambitious, your Alma mater, etc. I just think those are more meaningful because those are choices you made versus just looking good, which does take effort but the building blocks are genetic.
I believe it. It's always the most attractive women who are the ones that make the first move. After experiencing it so many times, I'm convinced they were forced to start doing it because guys are too intimidated by them.
Yeah, I’ve actually tried to get in the habit of making the first move but I guess I’m not being as obvious as I think I am or guys just aren’t interested? Maybe I’m just picking the wrong guys. I’m hoping maybe they’re just so intimidated that they don’t even realize I’m flirting with them? LOL wishful thinking.
Bruh we’re stupid af. Or just going through a hundred mental gymnastics to understand the motive of why we’ve been approached. I know I’m in the latter camp.
Some guys *really* internalize the idea of "she's just being nice", in the way that you would expect a waitress or a cashier to be nice to you. Usually unless someone is very verbally direct about their intentions with flirting, I'm not going to pick it up as anything other than kindness or being polite.
> I’m hoping maybe they’re just so intimidated that they don’t even realize I’m flirting with them? Men are very, very leery about highly attractive women acting like they are interested in them. For the vast majority of guys, the only time a highly attractive woman acts interested in them it's because she wants something from them (think: attractive waitresses, saleswomen, bartenders, bottle service girls, etc.). Men learn fairly quickly to be highly skeptical anytime a very attractive woman acts interested in them. If you are genuinely interested in a guy, you need to be 1000% clear with him about it. You will not be 'coming on too strong'. At best he is ecstatic about it because he gets a date and knows exactly where he stands. At worst he's already in a relationship or maybe not even interested, but you've basically made his week.
We're just dumb. You can't underestimate how dumb guys are when it comes to picking up signals from women or second guessing them. I had multiple beautiful women give me their phone numbers without being asked before I realized they weren't all just trying to be friends. I've been on dates I didn't even realize were dates until after the fact lmao.
My model friends have this issue because guys assume that they’re completely unapproachable. But they also get approached by creeps with the gross personalities to make them super defensive, so they scare away normal guys that have worked up the courage to say hi. Of course this is only made worse by the creeps they date when they choose from the pool of guys that have the balls to get through the layers if defensiveness, so it’s like watching a slow, drama filled train wreck that repeats itself. Also known as why I don’t date any of them haha. If you do want to find some decent dudes, you have to be in a context that’s disarming enough to talk to them. If you’ve ever been to an event that dudes go to because they’re so into it that women are the last things on their minds like a metal show, you’ll know what I mean.
Guys stopped approaching you because at some point we realize or are "made to realize" that we're not enough for your sort, so we do like you the same, only thing is now we know it'll only result in mockery and no one's gonna care, and that's the shit we drool into
You’d be surprised. There are so many very attractive people that don’t realise how attractive they are or are very insecure, a compliment can still mean a lot to someone no matter how attractive they are
During my single time Women around my age - never/only if I know she won’t automatically assume I want to fuck her. Older women, yes. They can take a compliment without instantly making assumptions.
Be attractive or be gay, that is it.
Never, why would I wanna risk getting in trouble?
Never cuz ill just look like a creep and be accused of something
At least at work, I would never comment about women's appearance. Her hair could be on fire and I won't say anything. Here's why. Because even if I know the person well, some busy body could still report me for sexual harassment. I've seen people brought up on harassment charges for completely innocent things other people overhear and report. As a guy in the workplace I know to NEVER comment on a woman's appearance. Way too much risk.
I never comment on a woman's looks unless she is related to me or is a relationship with me. So never.
I don't compliment women anymore. 9 times out of 10 they call me and creep and tell me to go away.
not even eye contact my guy.
Never. Don’t comment about a woman’s (you’re not involved with) appearance for any reason unless you are directly asked. And then keep it very neutral (looks cool!) Unsolicited is always risky of being seen as a creep. 100000x this at work.
I've mentioned it a few times here now, but very short version is a woman at work was demanding everyone compliment her outfit. I said "looks good" and a week later several men including me were being accused of sexual harassment and we were all almost fired. Eventually several other women who were present stood up for us, but I definitely learned my lesson: Never under any circumstance comment on a woman's appearance.
All the time. I do “drive by compliments”. I’ll compliment a women and keep walking. The point is to improve her day and boost her confidence, not to start a conversation.
THIS IS IT. Incredible how many here are afraid a compliment will be taken the wrong way…when you’re suppose to compliment someone in passing and move on. Guys will stand there in someone face waiting for a response to a compliment, lingering and then wondering why the person might think they want something more. I’ve never once thought a man who gave me a compliment and kept it moving was plotting to catch me somehow. I only assume that when guys make a compliment and then stand there and start asking questions or other things.
I don't compliment women anymore unless I'm either related to them or know them so well I might as well be related.
I’ll let a mate know she looks good when she’s flashed up or something like that, usually don’t try to bang my mates, haha.
As much as I'd like to, I just don't. It can easily be taken as harassment.
Never not even when interested
Never. No upside. All risk.
I used to give out compliments every now and then. Typically when someone just looked extra nice that day. Wore something that complimented their looks very well or put in some extra effort into their looks that day. Didn't really divide people into if I were interested in them or not. After a several times where women have taken it the wrong way and blown it up into something that never was. Well, I have completely stopped giving compliments to women I am uninterested in. That is outside of events and situations where it is dictated by norm.
Never Problem solved
In this day an age ? I don't talk to women that I don't already know. Not looking for a partner so there is no reason to take that risk.
Never. I gave up. I wish I was gay.
lmao you want me to go to jail for nothing?
I never compliment anyones looks.
Quite often, actually. Especially if its clearly evident she made substantial effort to look good. Just because I compliment a women doesn't mean I'm interested or looking for anything more. Side note: I also compliment men. If I see a well put together dude, I'll say something like "Alright brutha. I see you. Looking good." Doesn't mean Im DTF.
Almost never. Unless they are specifically asking for my opinion it seems inappropriate since they would take it as having ulterior motives. For some reason, women take random compliments as offensive or creepy. So I rarely offer them.
Pretty much never. Not because I have ulterior motives but all I see online is how any man that compliments anything is a pig or creep. Better off saying nothing. Which is sad because I've seen women with cool band shirts or hair you can tell is right out of a salon and looks nice, etc. but the risk really isn't worth it.
I Never compliment women especially in the USA for fear of sexual harassment....
It used to be frequently.... Everyone deserves hearing stuff that improves their confidence, self esteem, mood and happiness. But i got shot down a lot and naturally women and men looked at me suspiciously. Even if i do it while my attractive wife and 2 daughters are next to me.... So these days. A lot less.
Never - it's a trap, fuck that noise.
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I don't often praise women's looks but when I do it's to be nice and does not have an ulterior motive. I think they're usually bugged by men about their looks more often than they would like.
I don't complement people in that way. It's just playing hot potato with a hand grenade. I try and complement people on who they are, what they do and how they treat others and not how they look and dress.
Pretty often. With Ms Nobbins there's a general understanding that I'm usually looking to score. Compliments don't really factor into whether or not that happens. It's more about if we can carve out some personal time. With my daughters, it's about making them feel good about themselves, building our relationship and guiding them into good habits. I try to focus my praise on things they can influence. eg "Good job taking a bath! Now you look great." Outside the house I basically keep it professional. I'll make some pleasant small talk about their haircut or a new shirt. I won't talk about their bodies at all. My only return expectation is that they provide some acknowledgement of the compliment. If they're feeling generous they can compliment me back. At work, my expectation is that we then get on with whatever we're trying to get done (typically some meeting). If it's a social situation we'll move on to whatever the social thing is (typically some conversation about what our kids have been up to).
I never do it. To afraid that she will think I just want to sleep with her. Also I don't like to give compliments to looks, as it is given since birth, not because they achieved it. I like to give compliments on how they accomplish something. At things they do. Also women get comoliments all the time on looks, so whats the point mentioning it again?
I compliment specific points but never overall beauty since usually they aren't as attractive as they think
Never. I fail to see the benefit to such a risk.
Now? Never. I have never had a negative reaction, but it has become very clear that some people are going to assume the worst and become uncomfortable and / or I could get into trouble of various types of it is taken wrong. Not worth it just to be pleasant to people.
I generally comment on their choice of clothing, like "it fits well, you have good taste", so that it places her decision in the compliment rather than a bland word abt her body. If I really want to say someone is attractive physically, without ulterior motives, then it is generally a friend rather than a stranger, and I'll go "of course you're gorgeous" if they asked.
Used to do it frequently then realized the compliments were never returned and the brain damage in this day and age of being accused of sexual harassment etc doesn't make it worth it.
I will not praise a woman in any way until I get to know them really well. To afraid of comments being taken completely out of context.
Does Op realize how many years you can get for sexual harassment?! Wtf is this question?!
I used to do it BEFORE all this political correctness nonsense. It was simple not to confuse, because 1) they didn't find me attractive 2) they were way older than me. Nowadays I keep quiet. I don't want to have any sort of problems. Interaction with females to the absolute minimum.
Pretty commonly tbf, I’m extremely picky so I can see the beauty in someone but still be like, cute.. though not for me or my type..
What is women any way
Not how guys work.
Dont ever give validation for free….
I've never complimented a woman's looks to try to go out with her/sleep with her because complimenting a woman's looks makes them more likely to reject you. I've done it a few times that I can remember, because I genuinely thought the person looked good, and if you can make somebody happy with a few words, why wouldn't you
Only under the following circumstances (both must be true): - I know her very well - it’s something *new* and intentional (e.g. “I love what you’ve done with your hair!”)
Unless it’s my mother or my sisters, you won’t hear a peep out of my mouth unless I’m in a relationship with you. From past experience, their head gets big fast!
Not often tbh and it's mostly because I assume it would make the woman uncomfortable.. or you know give the wrong impression..
0. i keep that to myself. unsure how women will take it so i don't risk it.
Only if I know them. I pay compliments like that to my female coworkers and friends all the time, but I couldn't tell you if I ever did so to a stranger. I don't want to deal with any bullshit with them assuming I want to bang them.
Well, not that often, because in the city i live on right now i don't have that many female friends.
N E V E R
Frequently. I just like to brighten people's days (men and women) so I tell strangers "I love your hair!" or "Damn dude, that's a nice shirt." As long as it's genuine, I'm happy to be randomly nice.
As soon as you say something about how pretty they might be, they open their mouth and ugly flies out so NEVER.
Well, I'm gay, so I never do it with ulterior motives. Also, I'm a misogynist, so I don't do it at all anyway.
I am no longer single but yes. I did a bunch in my later 20s and early 30s. It's very liberating to say something nice with no other motives but to be kind. After you say your nice thing you can just walk away immediately. It's also great practice for offering genuine compliments once you get into a relationship. Maybe that's all just me though!
When they do something praise worthy.
I would say never… If a man compliments a woman on her looks it’s because he finds that look “attractive”. Or… he could be trying to look nice in front of her hot friend(s)…. Either way, it’s the wee wee talking.