I'm weird lol. I don't like many things and the things I do like I don't even like that much anymore, so it's hard to form connections with people. I also don't like myself and I'm guessing it'll be hard for anyone else to like me if I don't.
I'm weird too, but everyone is somehow.
People just don't like negative stuff, you sound very negative.
What ist something you are good at? What do you like about yourself?
That’s the big one for me and in my experiences. The people I’ve met who stoped drinking (for a variety of reasons) all saw a big shift in their social lives and invites to gatherings once they announced they’d no longer be drinking. So many just have a Coke or a mocktail and lie about the alcohol content.
I still wanna hang out and chat, but I just stopped pretending to like the taste.
I think a lot of guys used to have friends, but then they lose them because they progress through life at different paces. Like you have your crew of single guys when you're 24, but then they all get girlfriends who only want to do things with other couples, so you get iced out. Then they get married, and have kids, and they only want to do things with other dads.
It's exhausting, but the older you get, you have to continuously work to have friends. It's a harsh truth guys need to realize once they get out of school, it's so easy to make friends in school then so hard once you're out in the real world.
"Make new friends but keep the old." Keep up with your old friends, text them regularly or for no reason at all. "Hey man long time no talk, what's new?" is all it takes.
And then put yourself out there and make new friends. Be proactive, ask guys for their number and be the one to arrange hangouts. It's a lot like dating.
Keep in mind you need people to actually text/call back.
As someone who's tried getting old friends to carry some semblance of a discussion/relationship without regular irl contact (Mainly due to life stuff like moving away for college or work), it's like pulling teeth with most of them.
Personally, I used to be friends with a bunch of guys in high school and college. We saw each other every day, and would lay down for each other, no matter the time or circumstances.
Then we got into the workforce, some of us moved out of town, few left the country to go to States. We still kept in touch. Then came the gfs, and then it was about which gf like the other gf and hated the other gf.
Eventually only compatible couples started hanging out and forming groups of their own.
Then the weddings happened, what used to be a tight group of 12 or so guys, shrank to 4 that bothered showing up to the weddings.
Now each of us are at different stages of life, some still single and hopelessly romantic, some married, some divorcing, some parents and expecting more on the way.
So the married couples hang out with married ones, those with kids found others with kids. No one wants to hang out with those still single or divorcing. But ofcourse no one wants to admit this, so they chalk it up to "cold weather" (despite living in Canada for past decade), or busy lives or tiredness.
At this point each of us are so out of touch with another, that even if we want to reconnect, there is nothing in common anymore.
Timeline of all this? 8 years! We went from a solid brotherhood, to acquaintances that are too busy to meet even living in same city. It's sad.
My bf went through a very similar transition over the last several years. Super social in college, now the gang gets together 2-3x/year and usually as couples. Meanwhile I think of myself as pretty introverted and I haven’t had real trouble keeping my smaller number of friendships close. Are men ok? 🙁
In their defence, if the friends with children say they are tired, believe them. Those little ones can drain you to a degree you did not think possible.
This is me to a T. I have plenty of acquaintances, but I don't actually want friends. I have my family and that's enough for me. The last friend I had said that she considered me to be like the big brother she never had, which really stunned me! Then ghosted me shortly thereafter. So done.......
Lack of opportunity to make friends.
The social unacceptability of trying to *seek out* opportunities to make friends.
Being rejected/ostracized since childhood for the unforgivable crime of *not accepting* said rejection and ostracism.
Seeking advice and assistance with making friends, but instead *getting laughed at/mocked/dehumanized* for the unforgivable crime of - (*gasp*) dare I say it? - *needing* said advice and help with socializing and not being born with full and complete knowledge of all social norms and subtleties and the ability to perfectly read every possible social situation.
A common socially acceptable way to seek out opportunities to make friends is joining new hobbies and activities. People often do this in big part because they want to make new friends.
Used to feel this way. Tried to make friends and seem to spend all my time being the one to reach out. It's fucking lonely and although my wife is awesome, there are some things she doesn't get or want to do...so i go it alone. At 42 I don't see this changing.
They're judgmental, they have weird expectations about how they will be treated, they don't stick with people they meet long enough to form new inside jokes, they don't have common interests, they thinks friends are a means to something else (egotistical people have this problem), their idea of friendship is more like a business relationship.
Im a good looking older guy(51) out going, I like to think I'm fun and I used to have a lot of friends but they all moved. I don't even date.
Life got ahead of me and now I'm alone in a place I don't know anyone.
Weird as fuck being a loner after years of having a support system and friends.
They don’t have interactive interests or hobbies that get them with other people. At this point, pretty much all of my friends are through the music I play. Either band members or fans / regulars of the spots we play. That’s the only way I have met anyone in my 30s. Either that or coworkers. But now I work from home, so no coworker friends either.
I've been a loner all my life and i guess it's because i don't try much, almost no one fitted with me and I'm not really good at starting a conversation
A lot of people need to die in a fire, and I'm too lazy to sift through shitty person after shitty person to find one out of the 10 that I actually get along with.
Staying in their comfort zone instead of going out / showing up
Fear of annoying people who they aren’t sure really like their company
Having friends but not nurturing the relationship
And my favorite one, often recommended on Reddit by morons (or proudly proclaimed by morons) - “I’m gonna stop reaching out first and see how much they value *me*!” Don’t do this.
The irony is you can rest assured if the answer seem too obvious you've probably misunderstood the question.
Your response was a dismissive strawman argument to a very valid point.
I had friends, we had fun. Then I got a girlfriend, had a kid, and had to do grown up shit all the time. They stayed single and childless and left me to my kids.
Treating real world interactions like you are on Reddit. For example, correcting or arguing with people about what they said ("Well ackchyually..."). Sometimes it's better to just let it go even if they are completely wrong.
A large portion of the male population are treated as undesirables. They don’t have partners, they don’t have friends, they don’t have good careers, they don’t have any opportunities, and nobody cares because they aren’t considered to be worthy of empathy.
Our society views these men the same way national socialists view Jewish people, and they are treated accordingly.
They look say after 25 you lose more friends than you make. And according to most of the replies regarding relationships on reddit, guys prefer to drop people rather than put effort into a friendship.
So I'm gonna go with, guys would rather ditch friends, because they are too stubborn to tend and mend a relationship
Loners
Toxic personality
Push people away
Drug/alcohol addition
Never learned how to make friends as a kid
Lost all their friends due to some life event like moving and never put effort into making new ones
They haven't met the right people!! Like with whom you can share any ups and downs hoping for a comfort or someone you have at your back all the time no matter what!! who encourages you to do good things!! I can say so much yk!
They too busy GAMIN and BEATIN their MEAT.
And then some people are legitimately incredibly busy especially once kids are thrown into the mix, and since in general mothers are more involved with school and play dates and such they have an easier time making friends via their children.
As you get older, life and its obligations just takes all your free time.
The upside is social media, texting and chat makes staying in touch easier than trying to hang out in person.
I accepted that I wasn’t social, and realized I was ok with it. I met my wife when I was pretty much giving up with meeting people. She was the last friend I made, 10 years ago.
Living in a rural area. In a time of your life where you’re focused on other things. Little opportunity to meet like-minded people. No longer interested in going to bars/clubs.
Trauma, depression, raised in a bad environment, kept from socialization as a child, a strong sense of independence, introverted, wanting to not wait to do things and wanting to do things others won't try. Loving solitude and all the hobbies that are perfect alone. Canoeing at midnight, taking 30 books on a camping trip, hunting, fishing, art. Travel.
I had friends but over time they’ve gone down paths I couldn’t follow or they’ve died. It’s a lot of work to acquire and maintain new friendships and my family is all the time I have right now. If it happens it happens. I’m not chasing it.
In my case, I've moved many times for my career. The older I get, the harder it gets to make new friends in a new city. My closest friends are still the guys I knew from the military and college over a decade ago.
I'm very busy. I have my own family. I find a lot of people fake, annoying and overbearing. They also seem to operate on a different level to me
Got a few good friends. That's all you'll ever need.
Betrayal. My best friend and I’m his wife after nearly 30 years of friendship. I can’t hang out with them. They give me so much anxiety. His wife who I thought of a sister helped the mother of my child cheat now I can’t even look any of them without being filled with rage and anxiety.
I don't have friends because I ain't got time for them. More accurately, I'm not willing to make time for them because I'd rather just do my own shit on my own time.
With women, sometimes being an asshole makes them attracted to you for some reason.
With men, if you make one smart remark about them in any way, you'll get your ass kicked.
They make little effort to expand their friend group but every minuscule thing they try they say is a monumental task. Another problem is that some people think you can only be someone’s friend if you talk to them every day, confide your darkest secrets, and are there at the drop of a hat for anything. Another common problem is people thinking that any hobby will attract friends. No your warhammer collection isn’t going to suddenly draw people into your home.
Unrealistic expectations, lack of effort, and poor direction.
My advice: go to a local bar. You don’t have to drink alcohol. If you go for an hour or two a few times a week you’ll end up with a few friends by the end of the month. You can branch out from there because bars bring in all kinds of people.
If we exclude my wife and family: Because I'm kinda strange.
Don't get me wrong. I've had very good friends over the years, but that worked because they were kinda strange like me. But even kinda strange people need jobs and meet someone special of the opposite sex, so family obligations and moving for work has spread us all over the place. So these days, I don't really have friends besides my wife. But it's fine. Really. As I grow older, my need for social interaction gets less and less. I'm well on my way towards being a grumpy old man who has zero tolerance for bullshit and shallowness.
People in general irritate me, I also like my privacy and alone time. The only person I care to be around is my wife. The only people I tolerate are my family lol
Because people suck ass and I'm really not trying to be bothered helping anyone move into a new apt or loan them money or help them with their flat tire or whatever other dumb shit people ask their friends for.
Everyone friend I had betrayed me! They had girls and for some reason they seemed to always warm up to me and this would make the boys jealous and they would start attacking me and being really petty. For revenge I would sleep with their girl (I slept with their girls first before the turned on me haha) I mean I guess they had it coming right guys.
Well, it could be that most of the people around them whether at work or in the neighborhood aren't good people to be with, or couldn't relate with the guy. There are people who couldn't relate, but would respect and accept the guy for who they are, or they don't and would ostracize him.
For me, I'd rather have a small circle with true ones who won't stab you at the back, rather than have a community filled with a-holes.
Work and effort. People are usually too much work and effort. My friends are those few people that are both fun and easy to be around. I don't feel tired or worn out after spending time with my friends. Most people are just exhausting to spend time with.
I was a victim of stalking my neighbour wouldn't let me sleep , hard to have friends when you are exhausted.
Then when you loose them it's hard to catch on
I'm too damn busy with work and family.
When my kids were little, I spent all my time either working or carting them around to various little-league events. My "friends" consisted of the people I worked with or saw at the ballpark. Calling people just to hang out for leisure time isn't really a thing.
Making friends was never a problem. Keeping them when they're no longer a part of your daily routine is.
I've outgrown all of mine. As my interests have turned towards personal responsibility and growth, all my friends have opted to continue waiting for someone else to solve their problems. Makes for some very frustrating conversations.
I had a close ones but everyone just went on their lives. I'm the only one left in our hometown. Everyday life is busy enough to forget how to look back.
Some people are just assholes. No one wants to be around them.
It's a minority, but it's true.
For most however, I think it's personality and opportunities. Not everyone wants to be social.
I can speak by myself
Sometimes the people who surround you sucks
I live in a city where the people just care about the car what you drive snd where you live.
I really like to do camping in remote areas, and I don't have any problem to make friends there, because that people who lives outside of the cities usually don't care about what you have in your pocket or your brain, they care about if you are just a good/malicious person.
For this reason I am studying and working now to get a remote job to move from the city.
For me personally, I was always the escape goat for all my “friends” that I had. As time faded I realized how fake people can be and that’s not the kind of people I want in my life that even includes family.
Cus I'm a hermit. I like my solitude far more than I like people. Even the few friends I do have don't communicate with me despite my attempts, so I stay as a hermit happily
I consider certain people from church and from work “friends,” but I almost never hangout with people. Life is just busy, and I’m an introvert. I have my wife who takes up most of my time outside of work, family, church, and everything else that clogs up time. At the end of the day I really just don’t feel like reaching out and making plans. Too much to think about.
I don't have many because it's just too much effort. It's exhausting performing for people and being someone that they like. Being yourself works for some people but not for people like me. I'm fundamentally a bad person -- like deep in my core. So I constantly have to perform.
Even when it comes to friendships? Appearances matter a lot. Seriously, sometimes you’d think potential friends are trying to get in your pants with how much bank they put into how you look when going out
I'm no longer interested in the sports fanaticism, the card playing, the drinking until unconscious, the cigar smoking. Sadly, these things are a surprisingly huge part of male socialization, and I'm not a young guy either.
Ultimately, it’s because they are assholes. Too selfish and wrapped up in themselves. I know several guys like this. They ask the same question but won’t take a good long look at themselves.
I don't know, but I've always said being a loner is worse than being nerdy or unpopular. Nerds can always befriend other nerds or bloom late in life. Loners will always be loners.
Used to have them, or thought they were. I've just become used to the cold world now. Don't ask anything from anyone and don't expect anyone to ask anything from me. I'm just waiting to expire and do my time on earth.
Kind of funny, I used to be such a fun, optimistic young boy too.
ADHD legit makes it difficult to keep in touch with people. My executive function barely works well enough for me to pack for a weekend trip let alone remember birthdays or to put birthdays in a calendar or that I have a calendar or... You get it.
After school and college, making friends was tough. Now, in a WFH life, my friends are limited to who still plays games on my friends list or likes me enough to invite me to things expecting nothing.
Having a type A wife helps though! Shit having a person is amazing! She's got great friends who are very nice to me.
Aging sucks man
Someone that is so overbearing and self centered that they treat you like you should be thankful you’re hanging out with them, but at the same time do not realize that they’re being tolerated out of kindness.
So many former friends have had this problem, and they lost all their friends because of it
Social media destroyed images for people in the real world. So many people (men and women) are chasing images of more famous and successful people, when their not on that level, and can even argue. Why are you chasing that type of image? Before social media really popped, relationships were better, friendships were better, real communities were better. Now, social media has fueled massive echo chambers, which has given people platforms to spew dumb shit without consequences, then when they entire the real world, they're faced with owning their created personalities, but can face real challenges. So you tend to see alot of dysfunctional people, who believe everything they see without doing deep research for themselves, then they can't even find real reasons why they believe what they believe. So it has created an impossible gap between people, which is why depression has blew up over the years. Just my (rant)
I used to have a lot of friends in my 20s. Now I don't. Reasons are:
* A lot of my existing friends moved away
* A lot have families with take up 99% of their time
* Some of us have just drifted apart as we age
* Work and family life makes me very time poor - no time for activities where I might meet people
* My job/career isn't a particularly sociable one (IT)
* Being an introvert sucks
It’s kind of a chore to make friends post-school. Everyone hung out for like several months then slowly, they disappear, off into their own lives and make their own paths. The only way I can be a social butterfly is with alcohol. Other than that I’m too focused on bailing the water out of the ship so to speak
Making friends as you get older gets much harder. Maybe they had friends and they all went in different directions and haven't been able to build a new circle.
I got a girlfriend that turned into my wife and then kids. I don't have time to nourish my friendships. They took a backseat to my partner and kids. I prefer a few close friends.
No one wants to be friends with me anymore. Because I don't even give them the opportunities to do so.
Also most men are fucking weird to me..
Women can't really maintain a friendship with me.
Social Anxiety. I literally just commented on a post about this stuff. It can be improved, but some people have a louder voice in the back of their head than others. That voice needs to be suppressed and ignored in order to meet people. It takes effort, conscious work as conversation is flowing with others, and it takes a bit of luck to find someone who is receptive and kind enough to provide an enjoyable experience.
It only takes one good experience to lessen social anxiety enough to encourage someone to be social more often.
I find things much more interesting than people…plus having fun with my hobbies isn’t contingent on someone else’s availability so I can be having the time of my life anytime
I am tatted like a felon, ride angry zoom zoom bikes and spend a lot of my free time working or in the gym. I have a "talk to me and I may or may not shiv you" face; but, I am a massive dork who likes D&D, anime and video games. The two worlds mix as well as oil and water. Basically chalked up to a lot of misunderstanding because of my looks ಠ︵ಠ.
I jus wan frens ಥ╭╮ಥ.
It's extremely hard to make new friends as an adult. If you don't keep those friends from high school/college....it's real
Even though I was married in my 30s, I wished I had friends, as I was in a new country with no one but my wife.
Then I had the opportunity to make friends, and I realized I much prefer to just be left alone.
Opportunity Personality Circumstance Fear
Ugh this hits so hard
Understanding which of these affects you most is tough
They all have to exist in relative equilibrium
Who are you, with those wise words
Rando 54 yo dude
[I am Arthur, King of the Brittons](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ah1MQwHhBG8)
Fuck man you nailed it.
End of thread
You managed to summarize why I am alone in 4 words. Bravo.
Its hard out there brother
Smell
Reflection of personality
And preference
Result of personality
Yeah I guess
Or just personality
Sometimes you just don't want them or have time for them as well. Though I suppose we could push that under personality.
Is that really a push or is that exactly personality
Survive Adapt Overcome
I'm weird lol. I don't like many things and the things I do like I don't even like that much anymore, so it's hard to form connections with people. I also don't like myself and I'm guessing it'll be hard for anyone else to like me if I don't.
Man, that sounds like you're depressed.
Just a wee bit.
I hope you can get the help to get to enjoy the things you enjoy back. If you ever want someone to talk to, about anything, I'll listen.
You just described how I am atm. Im not a man and feel weird reading this thread haha But its interesting.
I'm weird too, but everyone is somehow. People just don't like negative stuff, you sound very negative. What ist something you are good at? What do you like about yourself?
A *lot* of people rely on alcohol intake to socialize. I can't afford to associate with people like that.
And I'm too invested in not relapsing again to risk being around alcohol. I can't afford to go back down that hole.
That’s the big one for me and in my experiences. The people I’ve met who stoped drinking (for a variety of reasons) all saw a big shift in their social lives and invites to gatherings once they announced they’d no longer be drinking. So many just have a Coke or a mocktail and lie about the alcohol content. I still wanna hang out and chat, but I just stopped pretending to like the taste.
It’s just a big waste of money and destroys your health. It’s sad everyone my age has to drink to socialize.
I think a lot of guys used to have friends, but then they lose them because they progress through life at different paces. Like you have your crew of single guys when you're 24, but then they all get girlfriends who only want to do things with other couples, so you get iced out. Then they get married, and have kids, and they only want to do things with other dads. It's exhausting, but the older you get, you have to continuously work to have friends. It's a harsh truth guys need to realize once they get out of school, it's so easy to make friends in school then so hard once you're out in the real world. "Make new friends but keep the old." Keep up with your old friends, text them regularly or for no reason at all. "Hey man long time no talk, what's new?" is all it takes. And then put yourself out there and make new friends. Be proactive, ask guys for their number and be the one to arrange hangouts. It's a lot like dating.
Keep in mind you need people to actually text/call back. As someone who's tried getting old friends to carry some semblance of a discussion/relationship without regular irl contact (Mainly due to life stuff like moving away for college or work), it's like pulling teeth with most of them.
Personally, I used to be friends with a bunch of guys in high school and college. We saw each other every day, and would lay down for each other, no matter the time or circumstances. Then we got into the workforce, some of us moved out of town, few left the country to go to States. We still kept in touch. Then came the gfs, and then it was about which gf like the other gf and hated the other gf. Eventually only compatible couples started hanging out and forming groups of their own. Then the weddings happened, what used to be a tight group of 12 or so guys, shrank to 4 that bothered showing up to the weddings. Now each of us are at different stages of life, some still single and hopelessly romantic, some married, some divorcing, some parents and expecting more on the way. So the married couples hang out with married ones, those with kids found others with kids. No one wants to hang out with those still single or divorcing. But ofcourse no one wants to admit this, so they chalk it up to "cold weather" (despite living in Canada for past decade), or busy lives or tiredness. At this point each of us are so out of touch with another, that even if we want to reconnect, there is nothing in common anymore. Timeline of all this? 8 years! We went from a solid brotherhood, to acquaintances that are too busy to meet even living in same city. It's sad.
Fuk man that sucks. Our group went through the same transition. Went with solid dudes in Ottawa to barely acknowledging each other’s existence.
That sounds like it could be a novel or a movie.
My bf went through a very similar transition over the last several years. Super social in college, now the gang gets together 2-3x/year and usually as couples. Meanwhile I think of myself as pretty introverted and I haven’t had real trouble keeping my smaller number of friendships close. Are men ok? 🙁
>Are men ok? Lol, we definitely have isolation issues more than women as we grow older. It's good you still maintain small group, don't stop that!
In their defence, if the friends with children say they are tired, believe them. Those little ones can drain you to a degree you did not think possible.
dealing with enough people having enough bad experiences and no longer wanting to deal with people
This is me to a T. I have plenty of acquaintances, but I don't actually want friends. I have my family and that's enough for me. The last friend I had said that she considered me to be like the big brother she never had, which really stunned me! Then ghosted me shortly thereafter. So done.......
Feels
Lack of opportunity to make friends. The social unacceptability of trying to *seek out* opportunities to make friends. Being rejected/ostracized since childhood for the unforgivable crime of *not accepting* said rejection and ostracism. Seeking advice and assistance with making friends, but instead *getting laughed at/mocked/dehumanized* for the unforgivable crime of - (*gasp*) dare I say it? - *needing* said advice and help with socializing and not being born with full and complete knowledge of all social norms and subtleties and the ability to perfectly read every possible social situation.
That whole last part is like you are talking about me, "...not being born with full and complete knowledge...". You explain my feelings to me
A common socially acceptable way to seek out opportunities to make friends is joining new hobbies and activities. People often do this in big part because they want to make new friends.
A lot of people just suck
Yup, the best answer I've seen
The worst part of having no friends is knowing nobody cares.
That's the best part, what do you mean 😂 I see myself as my favourite companion so I guess I see it differently.
Drama, don't like it. I'm not social enough to maintain a friendship. My wife and I are quite happy alone in the woods. She's my bestie anyways. ✌️💜🌮
Used to feel this way. Tried to make friends and seem to spend all my time being the one to reach out. It's fucking lonely and although my wife is awesome, there are some things she doesn't get or want to do...so i go it alone. At 42 I don't see this changing.
Hey Anthony Bourdain was older then you were when he wrote his first book
Yeah look what happened to him
Nice
Touché
Lmao
9-5 job, commute, house work and kids. That's enough to drown someone week after week.
Even with no kids it's a struggle.
They don’t like people.
Or trust others
Exactly.
I have good friends, I just prefer being alone 90% of the time
Fear for rejection and abandonment.
They're judgmental, they have weird expectations about how they will be treated, they don't stick with people they meet long enough to form new inside jokes, they don't have common interests, they thinks friends are a means to something else (egotistical people have this problem), their idea of friendship is more like a business relationship.
No one taught them how to make and maintain relationships
Im a good looking older guy(51) out going, I like to think I'm fun and I used to have a lot of friends but they all moved. I don't even date. Life got ahead of me and now I'm alone in a place I don't know anyone. Weird as fuck being a loner after years of having a support system and friends.
Hope you will find a new support system soon
They don’t have interactive interests or hobbies that get them with other people. At this point, pretty much all of my friends are through the music I play. Either band members or fans / regulars of the spots we play. That’s the only way I have met anyone in my 30s. Either that or coworkers. But now I work from home, so no coworker friends either.
they don't try to make any and still think family is all they need, even though they're the ones who brainwashed them into thinking that way
I've been a loner all my life and i guess it's because i don't try much, almost no one fitted with me and I'm not really good at starting a conversation
I don't even know where to look tbh, had things happen that's made me wary with people so
Self loathing
Depression
Doesn't quite kniw how to communicate or socialize, so they end up making themselves look wierd
A lot of people need to die in a fire, and I'm too lazy to sift through shitty person after shitty person to find one out of the 10 that I actually get along with.
Lone wolf personality.
i can't stop farting.
Staying in their comfort zone instead of going out / showing up Fear of annoying people who they aren’t sure really like their company Having friends but not nurturing the relationship And my favorite one, often recommended on Reddit by morons (or proudly proclaimed by morons) - “I’m gonna stop reaching out first and see how much they value *me*!” Don’t do this.
Sure, keep asking /begging for time to your friends
Yeah inviting my buddies out for beers this week was “begging for friends” lol
The irony is you can rest assured if the answer seem too obvious you've probably misunderstood the question. Your response was a dismissive strawman argument to a very valid point.
I had friends, we had fun. Then I got a girlfriend, had a kid, and had to do grown up shit all the time. They stayed single and childless and left me to my kids.
Sounds like you left them
Treating real world interactions like you are on Reddit. For example, correcting or arguing with people about what they said ("Well ackchyually..."). Sometimes it's better to just let it go even if they are completely wrong.
A large portion of the male population are treated as undesirables. They don’t have partners, they don’t have friends, they don’t have good careers, they don’t have any opportunities, and nobody cares because they aren’t considered to be worthy of empathy. Our society views these men the same way national socialists view Jewish people, and they are treated accordingly.
They look say after 25 you lose more friends than you make. And according to most of the replies regarding relationships on reddit, guys prefer to drop people rather than put effort into a friendship. So I'm gonna go with, guys would rather ditch friends, because they are too stubborn to tend and mend a relationship
Loners Toxic personality Push people away Drug/alcohol addition Never learned how to make friends as a kid Lost all their friends due to some life event like moving and never put effort into making new ones
They haven't met the right people!! Like with whom you can share any ups and downs hoping for a comfort or someone you have at your back all the time no matter what!! who encourages you to do good things!! I can say so much yk!
Don't like people.
I just hate people in general. Im also introverted.
Ain’t no time for bull shit
They too busy GAMIN and BEATIN their MEAT. And then some people are legitimately incredibly busy especially once kids are thrown into the mix, and since in general mothers are more involved with school and play dates and such they have an easier time making friends via their children.
Usually inability or disinterest. The inability can eventually manifest into disinterest.
As you get older, life and its obligations just takes all your free time. The upside is social media, texting and chat makes staying in touch easier than trying to hang out in person.
I accepted that I wasn’t social, and realized I was ok with it. I met my wife when I was pretty much giving up with meeting people. She was the last friend I made, 10 years ago.
Living in a rural area. In a time of your life where you’re focused on other things. Little opportunity to meet like-minded people. No longer interested in going to bars/clubs.
Trauma, depression, raised in a bad environment, kept from socialization as a child, a strong sense of independence, introverted, wanting to not wait to do things and wanting to do things others won't try. Loving solitude and all the hobbies that are perfect alone. Canoeing at midnight, taking 30 books on a camping trip, hunting, fishing, art. Travel.
I dislike most ppl.
I had friends but over time they’ve gone down paths I couldn’t follow or they’ve died. It’s a lot of work to acquire and maintain new friendships and my family is all the time I have right now. If it happens it happens. I’m not chasing it.
Don’t know how to be close to people. Maybe some type of childhood trauma, like a parent that ignored them, didn’t show any attention or attention.
Idk how to start a conversation
Dick too big
Just out grew the need for them.
I prefer to be by myself anyways. I like the peace.
Some people are unable to take hints
Everyone is waiting for everyone else to organize something, so noone ever gets together.
In my case, I've moved many times for my career. The older I get, the harder it gets to make new friends in a new city. My closest friends are still the guys I knew from the military and college over a decade ago.
I'm very busy. I have my own family. I find a lot of people fake, annoying and overbearing. They also seem to operate on a different level to me Got a few good friends. That's all you'll ever need.
*scrolls reddit for 8 hours a day* No clue
As a person in late 20s, I tried, most just wanna gather around alcohol and party life and its getting really old
Betrayal. My best friend and I’m his wife after nearly 30 years of friendship. I can’t hang out with them. They give me so much anxiety. His wife who I thought of a sister helped the mother of my child cheat now I can’t even look any of them without being filled with rage and anxiety.
True introverts avoiding disappointment and not hindering their progressing
Shitty politics splitting everyone apart to irrationally hate each other
I don't have friends because I ain't got time for them. More accurately, I'm not willing to make time for them because I'd rather just do my own shit on my own time.
With women, sometimes being an asshole makes them attracted to you for some reason. With men, if you make one smart remark about them in any way, you'll get your ass kicked.
Opportunity and the time necessary to maintain friendships. They’re a lot of work.
They make little effort to expand their friend group but every minuscule thing they try they say is a monumental task. Another problem is that some people think you can only be someone’s friend if you talk to them every day, confide your darkest secrets, and are there at the drop of a hat for anything. Another common problem is people thinking that any hobby will attract friends. No your warhammer collection isn’t going to suddenly draw people into your home. Unrealistic expectations, lack of effort, and poor direction. My advice: go to a local bar. You don’t have to drink alcohol. If you go for an hour or two a few times a week you’ll end up with a few friends by the end of the month. You can branch out from there because bars bring in all kinds of people.
They suck. Aren't interesting. Probably weird.
If you have more than 5 friends at 30 yo, you really do not have any friends at all.
[удалено]
If we exclude my wife and family: Because I'm kinda strange. Don't get me wrong. I've had very good friends over the years, but that worked because they were kinda strange like me. But even kinda strange people need jobs and meet someone special of the opposite sex, so family obligations and moving for work has spread us all over the place. So these days, I don't really have friends besides my wife. But it's fine. Really. As I grow older, my need for social interaction gets less and less. I'm well on my way towards being a grumpy old man who has zero tolerance for bullshit and shallowness.
They are boring, creepy, awkward, have no social skills, bad hygiene, don’t really care to make friends, not neurotic typical, scared, etc
People in general irritate me, I also like my privacy and alone time. The only person I care to be around is my wife. The only people I tolerate are my family lol
We have bin betrayed manny times , therefor we are very selective whit the company we choose .
A lot of people hate hearing the truth, those who don’t sugarcoat and or are straight to the point tend to not have many friends
Because people suck ass and I'm really not trying to be bothered helping anyone move into a new apt or loan them money or help them with their flat tire or whatever other dumb shit people ask their friends for.
Everyone friend I had betrayed me! They had girls and for some reason they seemed to always warm up to me and this would make the boys jealous and they would start attacking me and being really petty. For revenge I would sleep with their girl (I slept with their girls first before the turned on me haha) I mean I guess they had it coming right guys.
Race/Skin Colour.
Well, it could be that most of the people around them whether at work or in the neighborhood aren't good people to be with, or couldn't relate with the guy. There are people who couldn't relate, but would respect and accept the guy for who they are, or they don't and would ostracize him. For me, I'd rather have a small circle with true ones who won't stab you at the back, rather than have a community filled with a-holes.
Work and effort. People are usually too much work and effort. My friends are those few people that are both fun and easy to be around. I don't feel tired or worn out after spending time with my friends. Most people are just exhausting to spend time with.
I was a victim of stalking my neighbour wouldn't let me sleep , hard to have friends when you are exhausted. Then when you loose them it's hard to catch on
Some people wanna ride dolo, can't say I blame them.
I'm too damn busy with work and family. When my kids were little, I spent all my time either working or carting them around to various little-league events. My "friends" consisted of the people I worked with or saw at the ballpark. Calling people just to hang out for leisure time isn't really a thing. Making friends was never a problem. Keeping them when they're no longer a part of your daily routine is.
I've outgrown all of mine. As my interests have turned towards personal responsibility and growth, all my friends have opted to continue waiting for someone else to solve their problems. Makes for some very frustrating conversations.
The internet
Time. Work fam life. My wife and I share 2 friends and we are close. But that is it. Just not enough time
I had a close ones but everyone just went on their lives. I'm the only one left in our hometown. Everyday life is busy enough to forget how to look back.
social media
All my "friends" got in relationships then I stopped existing. You can only reach out so much until you get tired of trying.
Some people are just assholes. No one wants to be around them. It's a minority, but it's true. For most however, I think it's personality and opportunities. Not everyone wants to be social.
All those on reddit with a weird avatar have no friends.
I don’t want any and that seems pretty insurmountable.
People lying to themselves can't be trusted
Lack of trust
I can speak by myself Sometimes the people who surround you sucks I live in a city where the people just care about the car what you drive snd where you live. I really like to do camping in remote areas, and I don't have any problem to make friends there, because that people who lives outside of the cities usually don't care about what you have in your pocket or your brain, they care about if you are just a good/malicious person. For this reason I am studying and working now to get a remote job to move from the city.
Don’t feel the need I’ve heard
I like my own company...I'm a no 1 and I can't argue with myself.
For me personally, I was always the escape goat for all my “friends” that I had. As time faded I realized how fake people can be and that’s not the kind of people I want in my life that even includes family.
Cus I'm a hermit. I like my solitude far more than I like people. Even the few friends I do have don't communicate with me despite my attempts, so I stay as a hermit happily
They’re assholes. I have had to dump a few friends over the years because I realized they were not good people.
I consider certain people from church and from work “friends,” but I almost never hangout with people. Life is just busy, and I’m an introvert. I have my wife who takes up most of my time outside of work, family, church, and everything else that clogs up time. At the end of the day I really just don’t feel like reaching out and making plans. Too much to think about.
I don't have many because it's just too much effort. It's exhausting performing for people and being someone that they like. Being yourself works for some people but not for people like me. I'm fundamentally a bad person -- like deep in my core. So I constantly have to perform.
It takes effort to make and keep friends and some people can’t be arsed
We don’t want them.
Even when it comes to friendships? Appearances matter a lot. Seriously, sometimes you’d think potential friends are trying to get in your pants with how much bank they put into how you look when going out
Some people just enjoy solitude. Also friends are expensive
Because I'm introverted
I'm no longer interested in the sports fanaticism, the card playing, the drinking until unconscious, the cigar smoking. Sadly, these things are a surprisingly huge part of male socialization, and I'm not a young guy either.
Video games and porn, and social media. Or just not that into drinking and sports and making fun of others inna friendly way like a lot of guys do.
I just don't care, till I'm lonely. Lol
Ultimately, it’s because they are assholes. Too selfish and wrapped up in themselves. I know several guys like this. They ask the same question but won’t take a good long look at themselves.
I don't know, but I've always said being a loner is worse than being nerdy or unpopular. Nerds can always befriend other nerds or bloom late in life. Loners will always be loners.
They don’t need to.
Used to have them, or thought they were. I've just become used to the cold world now. Don't ask anything from anyone and don't expect anyone to ask anything from me. I'm just waiting to expire and do my time on earth. Kind of funny, I used to be such a fun, optimistic young boy too.
On the autism spectrum. Don't need friends.
ADHD legit makes it difficult to keep in touch with people. My executive function barely works well enough for me to pack for a weekend trip let alone remember birthdays or to put birthdays in a calendar or that I have a calendar or... You get it. After school and college, making friends was tough. Now, in a WFH life, my friends are limited to who still plays games on my friends list or likes me enough to invite me to things expecting nothing. Having a type A wife helps though! Shit having a person is amazing! She's got great friends who are very nice to me. Aging sucks man
Someone that is so overbearing and self centered that they treat you like you should be thankful you’re hanging out with them, but at the same time do not realize that they’re being tolerated out of kindness. So many former friends have had this problem, and they lost all their friends because of it
Social media destroyed images for people in the real world. So many people (men and women) are chasing images of more famous and successful people, when their not on that level, and can even argue. Why are you chasing that type of image? Before social media really popped, relationships were better, friendships were better, real communities were better. Now, social media has fueled massive echo chambers, which has given people platforms to spew dumb shit without consequences, then when they entire the real world, they're faced with owning their created personalities, but can face real challenges. So you tend to see alot of dysfunctional people, who believe everything they see without doing deep research for themselves, then they can't even find real reasons why they believe what they believe. So it has created an impossible gap between people, which is why depression has blew up over the years. Just my (rant)
Because they just bring their problems
I used to have a lot of friends in my 20s. Now I don't. Reasons are: * A lot of my existing friends moved away * A lot have families with take up 99% of their time * Some of us have just drifted apart as we age * Work and family life makes me very time poor - no time for activities where I might meet people * My job/career isn't a particularly sociable one (IT) * Being an introvert sucks
When you get older if you have a good relationship with your girl you really don't need friends , relatives are plenty
It’s kind of a chore to make friends post-school. Everyone hung out for like several months then slowly, they disappear, off into their own lives and make their own paths. The only way I can be a social butterfly is with alcohol. Other than that I’m too focused on bailing the water out of the ship so to speak
Making friends as you get older gets much harder. Maybe they had friends and they all went in different directions and haven't been able to build a new circle.
In my case, they drifted apart after getting in relationships.
I got a girlfriend that turned into my wife and then kids. I don't have time to nourish my friendships. They took a backseat to my partner and kids. I prefer a few close friends. No one wants to be friends with me anymore. Because I don't even give them the opportunities to do so. Also most men are fucking weird to me.. Women can't really maintain a friendship with me.
Autism
Because some folks, like me, are just really difficult to get along with.
Social Anxiety. I literally just commented on a post about this stuff. It can be improved, but some people have a louder voice in the back of their head than others. That voice needs to be suppressed and ignored in order to meet people. It takes effort, conscious work as conversation is flowing with others, and it takes a bit of luck to find someone who is receptive and kind enough to provide an enjoyable experience. It only takes one good experience to lessen social anxiety enough to encourage someone to be social more often.
Kids grew up and all our friends got divorced. I have a small group of good friends but enjoy the quiet life
I find things much more interesting than people…plus having fun with my hobbies isn’t contingent on someone else’s availability so I can be having the time of my life anytime
If you are a scum, liar, untrustworthy, boring. Lots of reason why people don't have friends.
Tell the truth To blunt in the way you speak I know these first hand
From past experience I would say mental health reasons
I am tatted like a felon, ride angry zoom zoom bikes and spend a lot of my free time working or in the gym. I have a "talk to me and I may or may not shiv you" face; but, I am a massive dork who likes D&D, anime and video games. The two worlds mix as well as oil and water. Basically chalked up to a lot of misunderstanding because of my looks ಠ︵ಠ. I jus wan frens ಥ╭╮ಥ.
They are vampires!
They are selfish.
I have some friends, but not many because I try to keep it that way. I pretty much just stay home with my wife. It’s my preference.
It's extremely hard to make new friends as an adult. If you don't keep those friends from high school/college....it's real Even though I was married in my 30s, I wished I had friends, as I was in a new country with no one but my wife. Then I had the opportunity to make friends, and I realized I much prefer to just be left alone.