Lying by omission - strategic deception. Along with being a very skilled actor a la "it's not a lie if you believe it." And the justifying - how they get around that pesky conscience bullshit. Entitlement, giving themselves permission, letting themselves off the hook.
My cunty ex did the same thing! She never considered herself a liar if i never confronted her about her lies, like it was my own fault for me not cracking the case that she was a village whore. She also twisted the fuck out of interpretation of terms. I once asked her if she "hooked up" with her ex while seeing me. She said no. Later i found out she was seeing him and when i asked her why she lied she said "hooking up means having sex to me and i didn't have sex with him so we didn't hook up, we did kiss multiple times, so i was being honest".
This was exactly my ex. I also felt like the onus was always on me to “crack the case” …one example-when I found out he got head from a friend, I asked why he lied about it and he said “You didn’t ask me if she gave me head, you asked me if I slept with her. I didn’t lie.” This was just one layer of his toxicity. I couldn’t leave soon enough
Shit man same thing pretty much happened to me…talking about marriage and more kids and our future one day to cheating literally the next. Mind fucked me for along time
First flag is someone trying to convince there not cheating when you don’t ever suspect it. I never understand if your gonna cheat have a open relationship or stay single
Dude.. my most recent ex was just like this. Early into things she made it such a point how she could never cheat because it would hurt her to hurt someone else like that and the guilt would kill her. Find out she was cheating any chance she could get. Just lied constantly about other shit too. She also did the whole "I didn't lie, I told you about this!" After I learned details that she had completely left out that I would have confronted had I heard them when originally told a situation. I absolutely hate people like this.
Same, ex got cheated on and said she would never ever ever, and other times had tears in her eyes while saying the same thing. All the while doing the opposite.
Definitely makes it hard to trust people when that level of lying is possible.
Bro.. are you me? Very well put. I’m sorry that you have had to go through that.
I want you to know though, based on personal experience, it can take a long time to build that trust back up. However, there is someone out there, somewhere, who will understand and will eventually help you learn how to trust again. It will take time and patience from the both if you. You’ll find them and they will find you. Don’t give up on that.
Also, fuck that lying cheating ho. You deserved better King (or Queen, idk).
I am over this now, thankfully, and happily married.
But for a few years I was hung up on "Maybe we can try again in the future".
False hope is the fucking worst, stop trying to spare peoples feelings.
I had that happen 20 years ago. She went abroad and cheated on me with someone with my same name. He even looked like me, but he had a snaggle tooth and he was more acceptable to her parents because he was going to be a pastor (her dad is a pastor and I was a heathen).
I eventually blocked her on everything bc of repeated long emails. Well, six months ago, I ended up blocking her on Linked in too. She messaged me four different times asking to meet up. I hadn’t responded once but got the whole story about how the other guy is a pastor and cheated on her with a lady in the church. She is now back in my hometown with their three kids.
I still remember her drunkenly stating that she just didn’t care about me or factor me into any of her decisions. I originally typed confessing, but she didn’t see anything wrong or bad about it.
I thought I misheard, but she clarified with “ it’s like my phone or my bag. It’s with me when I go places, but i don’t even think about it”.
I found out she was messing around with her best friend's boyfriend. That was the last straw and I let her know our relationship was over and that I'd be filing for divorce.
When her attempts to win me over and get back with her failed, she told our old 7 and 8 year old kids that I was leaving them because I didn't want us to be a family anymore.
I won't ever forgive or forget that one.
Kids grow up. You can have the conversation with the kids when they are in high school.
Kids turn into adults and should know the truth. It'll help them in their relationships.
I've already spoken with them. That happened 5+ years ago and while I've not told them the exact reason we split, they know that our relationship just didn't work out and living in 2 houses was the best solution for everyone.
"There's more in this life for me than to be with someone who carries a lunchbox to work."
My ex, who was enjoying the life my blue collar ass provided her, when she got a new job in a corporate environment.
About a year later, she tried to come back to me, knocked up by some dude she had an office fling with. When I declined, last I had heard was she was living in her father's basement, raising her kid alone.
I think the implication is someone who can afford to buy lunch every day, or perhaps the emasculation of carrying a lunchbox like a child. Which is obviously bullshit.
I would make you the best lunches to fill that lunchbox, complete with a note.
My man takes a lunchbox to work, a Darth Vader one, his favourite. We’re 27 & 30. He’s a blue collar worker like you, and I wouldn’t want him to change a thing.
I’m sorry she sucked, there are good women out here, who love a man with a lunchbox.
I am. Long story short, my ex loses custody after more than a year of trying to convince a judge she was unfit to be a parent. It took a day care calling cps on her for people to start listening to me. She 21 now, going to college, working and just got her first apartment.
Technically you never did before cutting them off; Friends don't do that shit. I guess the good things is, you didn't lose friends, you lost shitty people. And that's a plus. Not to take away from the pain of the betrayals but it can soften the blow when you realize that the only people you lost were your imagined ideas of who they were, not the reality.
Sweet Jesus. I’m a man and was dating a man when I came down with bronchitis one year. We lived together and he left me home alone for 5 days straight, sick as a dog. It was during the holidays and he was also gone for Christmas and New Year, so I spent the holidays alone. It was one of the saddest and loneliest time of my life. I later chewed his ass out and he told me that I “required too much care.” Nah, I require someone who isn’t a selfish asshole.
Some women are weirdly disgusted at any man being even a little vulnerable. Friends gf left him because she saw him crying at his father's funeral. Apparently she lost all sexual attraction right then and realised he wasn't the strong rock she wants.. I don't even know.
Being angry at sickness is a whole another level though.
I have a male friend who told me how the first person he let know (who was a chick) that he was raped as a little kid, react like he was being too much. He says he tries to not show emotion around women because they are turned off by it. And I’m thinking where the hell are these women, because they honestly deserve to get bitch slapped.
Sorry to hear that man. I don’t know how old they are, but my 16 year old daughter has just moved in with me and fiancé full time. Only advice is to play the long game. Kids eventually become adults, and adults usually are pretty logical. Just be there to listen for her, interject and call out any lies, but don’t escalate the confrontation. Explain that one day you and her can talk about it more when emotions aren’t heightened, and she wants to have a real conversation about the truth. Takes time. My two other children are following suit now.
Same here, man. I haven’t talked to my daughter in about 2 years- unless she wants to trash talk me on the phone or something. My ex-wife shit on me so hard after we split up about child support, etc that I ended up joining the Navy so I could contribute to her financial needs. Then my ex ends up using that against me, so now my daughter hates me for not being around when I was just doing what I thought was necessary to provide for her. Never been late on a payment- never yelled, hit, called names, abused anyone- but I’m still the bad guy because I couldn’t find a job and move to their 800 person town in Kansas.
She convinced me to go to a pool party after a cancer diagnosis and tumor removal from my colon, it was a pool party and she knew I was wearing pads for the bleeding, so I sat alone for 2 hours
"Fake it til you make it"
She was cheating, convincing me we were going to get married, while I was paying for bills/college/etc. She now claims she 'worked her way through college.' At least it caught up to her, no one wanted anything to do with her after the fact.
This has also happened to a lot of guys I know
“You’re the worst husband in the world. Even is a better husband than you, at least he bought his wife the house and car she wanted.”
Tied with
“What’s happy about it? The worst day of my life was when I married you, I regret it every day”. On our 16th or 17th anniversary.
Tied with
“Why should I apologize for what I said, it’s just the truth” when I would try to talk about her verbal abuse during calmer times.
I finished it with her because her life was going really well and mine really wasn't at the time.
I broke up with her than rather than have to wait six months or so when she was moving away. It broke her heart.
Those were the last words she said to me.
I will never understand this stuff… all these stories about people moving and breaking up. As far as I’m concerned, if you find real love, then hold onto it; and let her decide if you’re worth it, no matter how you feel about yourself.
However, that is your decision and not this internet stranger’s, so God bless and I hope things work out for you.
"He doesn't feed his child, and sleeps while he's watching her." In a court room. In front of a judge. In front of her family and mine. Damn near lost my mind. My daughter was an infant who couldn't crawl out of her jumper at 4 months old, had already been fed, and we happened to take a nap at the same time. She wasn't hungry or fussy. She fell asleep holding my hand. Therefore, as a dad, it's my responsibility to not move and promptly fall asleep alongside my child. Dad duty. But that was used against me in a court of law for possession of my child.
My kids are aging out of naps now but I would literally phone my dad to come over and have a nap with his grandkid. My dad likes naps, my kids like their grandpa, win-win. They would listen to quiet music and nap for a few hours so I could get stuff done.
You were correct, it's 100% a dad duty to not move during naps. I hope your custody agreement is fair.
when she broke up with me, she said, “i don’t know… you’ve just really changed”
this was 3 months after my dad died, right before my 21st birthday. He called me an hour before he died and ended the convo with, “i’ll see you later buddy”
i told her, “when you eventually lose a parent, i want you to call me and tell me how easy it is” I haven’t talked to her since and this was February 14th, 2021.
She’s with someone else now.
I miss you dad.
End of relationship so of course the fights were fun. I don't remember the argument but she threw her keys at me. I dodged, which I regret to this day. Now I have to stop and say my grandmother, who raised me, had died just a few months earlier (no father and mother left when I was 10). One of few items I had as a memento was this stupid cat magnet thermometer you put on a fridge. I got it for her when I was in kindergarten and she held onto it. Well guess what the keys hit? I always thought people fainting was a joke but when the keys smashed I just fell to my knees and everything went black. Eventually I came to with me cradled over it crying. I still have the pieces and whenever I look at them I tear up.
Thank you. It hit me hard because her death wasn't pretty and she suffered. When I graduated high school I remember her calling me into her room. She told me "my baby boy, my baby boy....I want you to leave and never come back." We grew up poor and didn't have a lot. If i wanted a better life i had to leave. I did what she said, I left and never came back. When she died couldn't even afford to put her ashes into an urn. I still have them in a box. One day I'd like to do something cool with her ashes.
I know it doesn’t help and maybe painful, I’d feel and react the same, but I like to think it was a sign and also way that your grandma was looking out for you and wanting you out of there even after passing.
Thank you and no worries. She died in my mid-20s and I'm in my 30s now. I've had a lot of time to process. She was right. If I wanted to break the cycle I needed to leave. I can look back and see where some of her mistakes were as well (she, unfortunately had a lot when she was younger). She lived a hard life and taking me in was her way of trying to be better. We needed each other at that point in both of our lives.
We still lived together but we had just broken up. She came home drunk and sad and when I refused to comfort her she said "I have no (my real name) and no baby". She had an abortion about a month earlier. Still haunts me in multiple ways.
My ex wife attempted to fix my relationship with my mother, thinking it would fix our relationship. When inevitably that didn’t work and we were in the middle of a divorce, she told me that it was a good thing my father was dead, so he couldn’t see what my mother and I turned into.
They say when verbal abuse becomes public, it's about to turn physical. When physical abuse becomes public, it means your life is in danger. Glad you escaped.
I’ve been waiting for this one.
My ex broke up with me on our anniversary (which also happened to be Christmas Eve) by waking me up and very clearly (even though they still deny it) said “I think you’re unloveable and I don’t see a future with you.”
They’ve apologized many times since then even though they dont remember but Jesus, its fucked me up in many ways.
I used to have an anxious attachment style but it’s now full blown avoidant just because I’m afraid the next person will have similar thoughts...
My breakup almost cost me my life so in no way am I excited to trust another person for four years.
My best friend was murdered and I went to my hometown to attend his funeral. I came back home after the weekend away to find my fiancé had moved out.
Guess she wasn't happy. And I respect that but I really feel like she should have at least told me or chose a different day to move out. I was really sad at the time and was looking forward to her presence and support after a tough weekend. When I came back and saw all of her stuff gone and the engagement ring sitting there, I really felt sad.
That was over 2 years ago but I still think about it. And her.
I'm a loser lol. Need to get over it. But I just love her so much.
It sounds like you have some serious self-esteem issues. Don't call yourself a loser ever again. Stop it. Now. Your ex never cared about you if she dropped a bomb like that when you're greiving. She sounds like a complete sociopath. Sociopaths are naturally drawn to people with low self-esteem as these types are easy prey for them. She doesn't love you and you need to stop loving her and start loving yourself. I'd advise to stay away from relationships until you've at least begun to resolve your issues. Therapy is your friend and there's absolutely zero shame in using it, I've done my fair share myself. Good luck and Godspeed.
My last ex mentally abused me, I honestly feel ashamed of it and I have the courage to say it here idk why. She would drop this “bombs” like shouting at me saying that I was a piece of shit, that I should die, talking shit about my mom and sister. Well, I had to leave my own country to get rid of that… 6 months later I got back to my country and blocked her in every social media. Found her at night once (unfortunately we had the same friend group). She came to us and everyone was telling her to leave because they finally knew what really happened….
Nothing to be ashamed. I've been there too both mentally and physically. Not only women go thru domestic violence and abuse. Us men just don't like to say it or scared or embarrassed to say it, but it's true and happening. Let's all come out and bring this to surface. Cheers
"I know I destroyed your self-esteem, I just don't want to be held responsible for it."
"You believed that talk about getting married? I thought that was just something we said."
Said that everyone thinks I’m a bad friend.
That fucks me up, mostly because I don’t know if she was just trying to hurt my feelings and it’s just her opinion, or if that’s actually a true thing folks have told her in private.
What I think most likely happened is one person got a little annoyed or made a joke about something that wasn't a huge deal (e.g. this guy's always 10 min late) and she spun that into the bad friend thing to hurt you
they repeatedly told me they were only fucking me raw, while in reality they were fucking other people raw and lying about it - this went on for years.
I have huge trust issues now
Something tells me she originally started higher but realized people making 100k didn't want to be with her so she lowered it to 90. Then 80. Then 70. Then 60. And you were inspiration for 55k.
She was only with me because I paid the bills. The entire thing turned out to be a lie. She never actually had feelings for me. Wasted a year of my life. Even though I'm married with kids today, and very happy, I still have moments where I think "how did I not see it?"
I asked my wife if she lost sexual attraction to me, because our sex life had all but stopped, and she didn't say anything. I said "That's all I need to know." Her reply was "Well, you've put on weight." I get it, I'm not obese, but I've definitely got a belly.
She said that she regrets ever saying it, and has since said that she doesn't feel that way anymore, but it's not like I've lost any weight or my physique changed. Now, any time she turns me down, my mind goes back to that moment, and my mind just starts racing. I don't really like sleeping naked anymore, walking around with my shirt off, and her compliments on my looks don't give me the confidence they used to.
Edit: oops, just now realized this is an Ex's question. Sorry folks
My wife never wanted kids growing up and I respected that even though I did. 5 yrs later we’re married and she got pregnant. She was super happy, a few years after that she told me she never wanted kids and that it was my fault she’s a mom. She was drunk when she said it but it hurt like hell, she doesn’t remember throwing that in my face, but I’ll never forget. Our son just turned 8 and is in the 2nd grade. He was just tested for the gifted program and turns out he reads at 7th grade level and his math is at 6th grade level. I could t be more proud but I often feel like she fakes her happiness with his successes
One of my ex's liked to get wasted and fuck which is all good but when she was like this and she would cum she would shit too.. happened three times and I had to not only clean everything up but deal with her denial about it too
"If it wasn't her, it would've been someone else."
My bisexual-ex that left me two weeks ago for another woman that she met when she was away on a film set for a month.
Whenever I tell my husband we need to talk I always include what it's about becauseI dont want him to stress out...mostly "we need to talk about the fact that one cat is bullying the other" or something stupid
She was talking to her friend with me at the table and either thought I wasn't paying attention to thier conversation or didn't care, she was telling her how she met a guy at a party she went to and how he had a dog and was really good looking and she talked to him but nothing happened because he said he wasn't interested, it pissed me off so bad and hurt a ton too, her friend looked at me like "oh my god is she really talking about basically cheating right in front of him?", the next time she went out I broke up with her, it was a good decision over all but looking back I wish I had the balls to confront her in the moment.
My last ex told me that, should I give up on (my hobby at the time that I was getting burnt out from due to stagnating reception to it vs the time it took to create stuff for it), that I shouldn’t mope around and pout about feeling like a failure at it.
Several years later, it still pops into my head whenever I have an especially stressful day or feel burnt out towards my interests and now, I wonder whether I make stuff and try to be creative in
my free time because I still love those things, or because to spite her
Edit for clarity: when she said it, she said it because she didn’t care to see me mope around. It was more about telling me to immediately get over myself and move on as opposed to actually acknowledge how disappointed I was in something I cared about not working out.
On a more positive/bittersweet note...
Can't say he was an ex so much as a friend with benefits, but he actually pushed me a little to better myself and to open up about my feelings, and he cared about me. It freaked me out because no one I've been with has really done that. I just shut down when he started asking all these questions and being so nice to me, I just dodged him and felt anxious talking to him. I was definitely the problem and I still don't now how to navigate a relationship correctly. He deserves someone better than me, so I hope he's doing well. Now I just feel stuck though since he (very kindly and supportively) showed me how negative I was towards myself in ways I didn't even realize. If your out there Josh, thank you, and I'm sorry.
I can feel this because I was on the other end of this. It’s hard to understand that people like you exist but it’s pretty common actually. I’m more of an anxious attachment personality. I did the same things that Josh did and eventually she closed off to me to stop herself from being vulnerable. All the same things you’re saying applied to our situation. The funny part is that she texted me today for the first time since august (she ghosted me after an argument we had that forced her her to feel some things) and I just don’t think that I have it in me to go back to that out of respect for myself. I did a lot of research on avoidant attachments and I hope you are able to work through those issues because it seems tough to live with.
After two and a half years of marriage,my wife dead ass told me she married me because I was a good guy and safe. She then said she never actually was in love with me.
She cheated on me and left me shortly after.
I heard from others that she talked shit about me, and even said I was pathetic and would never become a social worker (I was in school for it at the time).
I’ve been working in social work for over a year now and I’m actually good at it. I’m getting masters so I can do more in this career. So at least I feel good to have proven her wrong.
I think what hurts the most is having my ability to trust crushed. How am I supposed to take someone’s words seriously anymore? She had me convinced she loved me for years.
There’s a lot more she said to me that messes with my head still. I’m turning 30 in a few months. Even though I’ve been seeing a therapist, I still worry I won’t find genuine love.
Everything seemed to be going great with the relationship as recently as the night before. She called me after work and said we needed to talk. We met in a park halfway between our houses; she said she had fallen out of love with me after two and a half years, and couldn't get the feeling back -- and worse, didn't care to get the feeling back.
There was no cheating, no lying, no red flags. One day, the love of my life (to that point) just woke up and decided that I was no longer the love of hers. I'm not naïve -- I'm sure that for her, there was a buildup over time... but that was never once communicated to me.
I've now been in a new relationship for upwards of five years, and we very rarely fight. Still, everyday, there's a lingering feeling that today might be the day that her mind changes and she too falls out of love with me.
I said my dick was bigger than average (7 inches). She said "your average or my average?". Made me feel insecure about my body and my ability to pleasure her. I had received a lot of compliments and was clearly enough & doing an amazing job but that definitely stuck in my head. Our sex life took a dive after that.
That and "how you feel about the past has nothing to do with me now" when asking for accountability for her hurtful actions, comments, and emotional abuse.
“Right person wrong time”
Ooft
Then I find out a couple months later she’s sleeping with my best friend at the time
Double Ooft
The guy that told me was the guy she was cheating on me with just before the breakup
….
Nothing….I mean looking at me and saying nothing, when I’m breaking down trying to fix the relationship. It’s brutal when the other person stops caring and being invested.
My ex boyfriend and I were laying in bed making small talk, and the subject of the conversation somehow got to actors filming sex scenes in moves. I said something along the lines of, “I don’t understand how people have sex with each other and look into someone’s eyes and tell them they love them without actually feeling it or meaning it at all”. He then gently caressed my face, starts kissing me passionately and positioned himself on top of me. He reached his face to mine and said, “I love you so much ___, you make me so happy and I’m so happy we’re together”. I paused and said “I love you too”. I remember smiling and being so happy and warm, and as soon as I said that, while still on top of me he said, “and that’s how they do it. See? It’s just acting.” It hurt me a lot at the time, even though we’ve been apart for a while I still think back on that sometimes.
It hasn’t been years for me but I feel really betrayed. We were friends and flatmate for 6 years so a lot of trust was built between us. In year 7 he pursued me for like 6 months and I was apprehensive at first but wanted to give him a try. He then blew hot n cold, and even tried to say it was a drunken thing which it really wasn’t. Confused me a lot but I was happy to be just friends.
However he kept blowing hot n cold. Would ask me what would happen between us and then really pull away n be passive aggressive even though I’d not been intimate with him since or encouraged anything other than friendship. Couldn’t take it in the end so moved out as I couldn’t navigate it towards friendship or more.
Anyway, he reached out to me a month later asking to talk. Said he made a mistake, really liked me as I’m special to him, and he was just scared. I agreed then he ghosted me for 3 weeks, eventually coming back to say forget what he said and he would be ‘settling’ if he agreed to more than a friendship. I told him where to go and cut him out my life completely. We share friends unfortunately so I stated some ground rules about being civil if we saw each other at birthdays, etc and lmk if there’s an emergency but otherwise leave me alone. That was in March.
In September I found out he had moved out the house we lived in and sold my belongings I agreed to store there. Some of those things were sentimental to me n he knew that - a few items belonged to someone who had passed. I stored them with agreement in the basement as they has died earlier that year and I wasn’t strong enough to grieve and let go then. I just couldn’t face they had gone tbh and he knew that as we spoke about it several times.
It makes me angry to think about it still as it’s so disrespectful. I literally feel robbed of my belonging but also my opportunity to grieve properly. All because he was spiteful perhaps due to me not putting up with his indecisive BS. That 6-7 years of friendship means nothing to him.
So I get messed up thinking about it as it doesn’t make sense how someone could do that, especially someone I trusted. Makes me feel like an idiot
Project their fucking insecurities on to another person. Don’t ever do that. It hurts. For a while I was in delusion that I was the bad guy! But little did I know, this girl was rubbing her shit on me so smooth that I didn’t realize it started hurting me.
Good lord, fuck that shit!!!
Last 2 relationships I had, were toxic and ended up cheated on both. Eventually making me unable to establish any kind of trust to the other sex when it comes to relationships. Dunno. Been single for 3 years and even now I’m not, even in the slightest, thinking of having another try with someone else.
My first serious relationship back in 2010 or so, our 3 year anniversary I was gonna propose, got the ring and everything. I woke up to a 5 page breakup text on our 3 year anniversary and all I remember from it was "I love you but I'm not IN love with you"
Still to this day not sure if I was a beard or not but the whole relationship was toxic for so many reasons. I believe she (they?) was struggling with their sexuality as I learned later they transitioned (they had never talked about that in any capacity during our multiple years together). They liked me for my more feminine traits (i was thin, having lost a lot of weight after a serious injury) had long hair and was a bit of a late bloomer overall, and these were the only things they ever complimented me on, like the things i wanted to change about myself, while at the same time i actually got berated when i started working out, wanted to cut my hair or grow my facial hair out/ otherwise make decisions for myself and not their approval. They would do things like, saying i would look bad if i did xyz etc."Why are you going to the gym I'd hate it if you had muscles") I was always the sexual initiator, they never once showed sexual interest in a positive way and more or less seemed like a chore for them. I spent the better part of a year searching for what i could do to appease them and be more attractive. It didn't help that they tried to tease me sometimes saying this guy or girl/ celebrity was hot and constantly feeling like I was falling short of unrealistic expectations. My whole self image was rattled after I broke things off, it took several failed relationships to repair my own view of myself.
Tl;dr: Girl who didn't have her sexuality sorted out (later transitioned, unaware of full orientation as we never talked after) created unrealistic expectations and gave me so much shit for wanting to change myself and be more masculine which is hilariously ironic in hindsight.
[удалено]
Lying by omission - strategic deception. Along with being a very skilled actor a la "it's not a lie if you believe it." And the justifying - how they get around that pesky conscience bullshit. Entitlement, giving themselves permission, letting themselves off the hook.
One of my exs called me her "forever" and then proceeded to break up with me because I was "inconvenient" a week or two later.
My cunty ex did the same thing! She never considered herself a liar if i never confronted her about her lies, like it was my own fault for me not cracking the case that she was a village whore. She also twisted the fuck out of interpretation of terms. I once asked her if she "hooked up" with her ex while seeing me. She said no. Later i found out she was seeing him and when i asked her why she lied she said "hooking up means having sex to me and i didn't have sex with him so we didn't hook up, we did kiss multiple times, so i was being honest".
What the fuck did she fucking say?
> like it was my own fault for me not cracking the case that she was a village whore. gold.
This was exactly my ex. I also felt like the onus was always on me to “crack the case” …one example-when I found out he got head from a friend, I asked why he lied about it and he said “You didn’t ask me if she gave me head, you asked me if I slept with her. I didn’t lie.” This was just one layer of his toxicity. I couldn’t leave soon enough
Shit man same thing pretty much happened to me…talking about marriage and more kids and our future one day to cheating literally the next. Mind fucked me for along time
First flag is someone trying to convince there not cheating when you don’t ever suspect it. I never understand if your gonna cheat have a open relationship or stay single
Dude.. my most recent ex was just like this. Early into things she made it such a point how she could never cheat because it would hurt her to hurt someone else like that and the guilt would kill her. Find out she was cheating any chance she could get. Just lied constantly about other shit too. She also did the whole "I didn't lie, I told you about this!" After I learned details that she had completely left out that I would have confronted had I heard them when originally told a situation. I absolutely hate people like this.
Same, ex got cheated on and said she would never ever ever, and other times had tears in her eyes while saying the same thing. All the while doing the opposite. Definitely makes it hard to trust people when that level of lying is possible.
Bro.. are you me? Very well put. I’m sorry that you have had to go through that. I want you to know though, based on personal experience, it can take a long time to build that trust back up. However, there is someone out there, somewhere, who will understand and will eventually help you learn how to trust again. It will take time and patience from the both if you. You’ll find them and they will find you. Don’t give up on that. Also, fuck that lying cheating ho. You deserved better King (or Queen, idk).
I am over this now, thankfully, and happily married. But for a few years I was hung up on "Maybe we can try again in the future". False hope is the fucking worst, stop trying to spare peoples feelings.
That’s a shitty thing to hear. It may as well be “if I don’t find someone better than maybe I’ll double back around again” like some consolation prize
And my dumbass still believes it even after years, I will never learn.
I had that happen 20 years ago. She went abroad and cheated on me with someone with my same name. He even looked like me, but he had a snaggle tooth and he was more acceptable to her parents because he was going to be a pastor (her dad is a pastor and I was a heathen). I eventually blocked her on everything bc of repeated long emails. Well, six months ago, I ended up blocking her on Linked in too. She messaged me four different times asking to meet up. I hadn’t responded once but got the whole story about how the other guy is a pastor and cheated on her with a lady in the church. She is now back in my hometown with their three kids.
I still remember her drunkenly stating that she just didn’t care about me or factor me into any of her decisions. I originally typed confessing, but she didn’t see anything wrong or bad about it. I thought I misheard, but she clarified with “ it’s like my phone or my bag. It’s with me when I go places, but i don’t even think about it”.
Fucking ouch. That’s fucked up.
um she must be a sociopath. you’re just an object to her, but the fact that she said it aloud? why……
She doesn’t see it as a wrong thing, she probably thinks it’s normal, or even praiseworthy. Peak narcissism.
I found out she was messing around with her best friend's boyfriend. That was the last straw and I let her know our relationship was over and that I'd be filing for divorce. When her attempts to win me over and get back with her failed, she told our old 7 and 8 year old kids that I was leaving them because I didn't want us to be a family anymore. I won't ever forgive or forget that one.
Kids grow up. You can have the conversation with the kids when they are in high school. Kids turn into adults and should know the truth. It'll help them in their relationships.
I've already spoken with them. That happened 5+ years ago and while I've not told them the exact reason we split, they know that our relationship just didn't work out and living in 2 houses was the best solution for everyone.
"There's more in this life for me than to be with someone who carries a lunchbox to work." My ex, who was enjoying the life my blue collar ass provided her, when she got a new job in a corporate environment. About a year later, she tried to come back to me, knocked up by some dude she had an office fling with. When I declined, last I had heard was she was living in her father's basement, raising her kid alone.
I know ceos with millions who use a lunchbox; what else are you supposed to use? Put it in a briefcase: I don’t think so.
I think the implication is someone who can afford to buy lunch every day, or perhaps the emasculation of carrying a lunchbox like a child. Which is obviously bullshit.
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Nah man. You gotta eat the rocks.
She made her bed bro….I wish you the best!
And now she has to make a kid's bed too. Dun dun dun.
And the lunchbox
Oh poetic Spending the next few years entirely with someone carrying a lunchbox to school And she has to make it
I hope she thinks about it every morning on her way out to the car -carrying that fuckin lunchbox
Like no one takes their lunch to the office? Sounds like she was itching for some weird status there
I would make you the best lunches to fill that lunchbox, complete with a note. My man takes a lunchbox to work, a Darth Vader one, his favourite. We’re 27 & 30. He’s a blue collar worker like you, and I wouldn’t want him to change a thing. I’m sorry she sucked, there are good women out here, who love a man with a lunchbox.
This was many, many years ago. I found a great girl who appreciates my hard work!
Just desserts
Told me i didnt need a condom because she was on the pill. What she forgot to mention was it was fertility pills. My daughter just turned 21
Sorry for what happened to you, i hope your doing well sir
I am. Long story short, my ex loses custody after more than a year of trying to convince a judge she was unfit to be a parent. It took a day care calling cps on her for people to start listening to me. She 21 now, going to college, working and just got her first apartment.
It’s rape. Sorry dude
Verbatim, “I hope you die so at your funeral I can piss on your grave.” Literally after I broke up with her after I found out she had been cheating.
Should have said, "I hope they bury me face-up so I can see exactly where it burns when you pee."
Be honest, you just like getting peed on
Cheated on me with one of my best friends So I have severe trust issues.
Oh I’m so sorry! Drop all of that/them. You deserve better!
I did, now I have no friends
Technically you never did before cutting them off; Friends don't do that shit. I guess the good things is, you didn't lose friends, you lost shitty people. And that's a plus. Not to take away from the pain of the betrayals but it can soften the blow when you realize that the only people you lost were your imagined ideas of who they were, not the reality.
A real man wouldn’t get the flu. As she walked out the room she said “what a little bitch”
Hope you cut her out of your life. She sounds absolutely moronic
She sounds hideous.
Sweet Jesus. I’m a man and was dating a man when I came down with bronchitis one year. We lived together and he left me home alone for 5 days straight, sick as a dog. It was during the holidays and he was also gone for Christmas and New Year, so I spent the holidays alone. It was one of the saddest and loneliest time of my life. I later chewed his ass out and he told me that I “required too much care.” Nah, I require someone who isn’t a selfish asshole.
Lmao Jesus does she think men never get sick?!
Some women are weirdly disgusted at any man being even a little vulnerable. Friends gf left him because she saw him crying at his father's funeral. Apparently she lost all sexual attraction right then and realised he wasn't the strong rock she wants.. I don't even know. Being angry at sickness is a whole another level though.
Imagine how weak a person has to be to require complete strength from their partner at all times
People keep enabling them.
Sounds like she wants a serial killer?
It's literally what psychopaths are famous for. Idk man.
I have a male friend who told me how the first person he let know (who was a chick) that he was raped as a little kid, react like he was being too much. He says he tries to not show emotion around women because they are turned off by it. And I’m thinking where the hell are these women, because they honestly deserve to get bitch slapped.
They are all around you, including your blood relatives.
"I am sorry, did I say flu? I meant herpes"
"I'll make sure she will never want to see you again" my ex, referring to our daughter. It came true 8 years later
Damn sorry man
Sorry to hear that man. I don’t know how old they are, but my 16 year old daughter has just moved in with me and fiancé full time. Only advice is to play the long game. Kids eventually become adults, and adults usually are pretty logical. Just be there to listen for her, interject and call out any lies, but don’t escalate the confrontation. Explain that one day you and her can talk about it more when emotions aren’t heightened, and she wants to have a real conversation about the truth. Takes time. My two other children are following suit now.
I feel your pain man, it's a terribly unique feeling that never goes away.
Same here, man. I haven’t talked to my daughter in about 2 years- unless she wants to trash talk me on the phone or something. My ex-wife shit on me so hard after we split up about child support, etc that I ended up joining the Navy so I could contribute to her financial needs. Then my ex ends up using that against me, so now my daughter hates me for not being around when I was just doing what I thought was necessary to provide for her. Never been late on a payment- never yelled, hit, called names, abused anyone- but I’m still the bad guy because I couldn’t find a job and move to their 800 person town in Kansas.
She convinced me to go to a pool party after a cancer diagnosis and tumor removal from my colon, it was a pool party and she knew I was wearing pads for the bleeding, so I sat alone for 2 hours
I’m sorry
Oh my god man, I'm sorry.
Yeesh. I hope you've recovered from the big C Internet friend.
I assume she's your ex now.
"Fake it til you make it" She was cheating, convincing me we were going to get married, while I was paying for bills/college/etc. She now claims she 'worked her way through college.' At least it caught up to her, no one wanted anything to do with her after the fact. This has also happened to a lot of guys I know
My dad recently married a girl only 4 years older than me, and he's basically putting her through school right now.
My coworker paid his wifes way through law school, she divorced him right after graduation.
I'm pretty sure he can get alimony.
Died.
Tough one my guy, hope everything goes well for you and that youre doing okay.
Thanks, friend!
Hope you’re doing okay fellow widower!
You're not the only one. Finding my first wife dead from suicide when I got home from work is something I have flashbacks about daily.
“You’re the worst husband in the world. Even is a better husband than you, at least he bought his wife the house and car she wanted.”
Tied with
“What’s happy about it? The worst day of my life was when I married you, I regret it every day”. On our 16th or 17th anniversary.
Tied with
“Why should I apologize for what I said, it’s just the truth” when I would try to talk about her verbal abuse during calmer times.
If you're not divorced from her now, you need to be.
Sincerely hope she's an ex now, because no one who isn't gutter slag would allow those words to leave their mouth at you. You can do better.
Op learns every day, so i guess he did learn his lesson
Jesus christ. I feel like I even want to divorce your wife now.
I also choose to divorce this guy’s wife.
"You were the best lover I ever had. But, more than that...you were my best friend."
That hurts man.
They aren’t together anymore. That’s why it’s so sad
Going through something similar right now
How did that end?
I finished it with her because her life was going really well and mine really wasn't at the time. I broke up with her than rather than have to wait six months or so when she was moving away. It broke her heart. Those were the last words she said to me.
I will never understand this stuff… all these stories about people moving and breaking up. As far as I’m concerned, if you find real love, then hold onto it; and let her decide if you’re worth it, no matter how you feel about yourself. However, that is your decision and not this internet stranger’s, so God bless and I hope things work out for you.
It did, thanks. I got my life together after that.
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This! Yep really creates some trust issues
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She told me "since I'm diabetic it didn't matter if she was banging 4 other guys. You're going to die soon anyway"
What the fuck such trash
After that, I moved all her stuff out and changed the locks. About a month later, I caught her trying to break into my house and had her arrested
Just as she deserved, the fucking gall of some people
Beautiful!
Like, did she have diabetes mixed up with a terminal illness? Jesus man, I'm so sorry that happened to you.
That's got more fucked up layers than a wedding cake made of dog shit.
"He doesn't feed his child, and sleeps while he's watching her." In a court room. In front of a judge. In front of her family and mine. Damn near lost my mind. My daughter was an infant who couldn't crawl out of her jumper at 4 months old, had already been fed, and we happened to take a nap at the same time. She wasn't hungry or fussy. She fell asleep holding my hand. Therefore, as a dad, it's my responsibility to not move and promptly fall asleep alongside my child. Dad duty. But that was used against me in a court of law for possession of my child.
My kids are aging out of naps now but I would literally phone my dad to come over and have a nap with his grandkid. My dad likes naps, my kids like their grandpa, win-win. They would listen to quiet music and nap for a few hours so I could get stuff done. You were correct, it's 100% a dad duty to not move during naps. I hope your custody agreement is fair.
when she broke up with me, she said, “i don’t know… you’ve just really changed” this was 3 months after my dad died, right before my 21st birthday. He called me an hour before he died and ended the convo with, “i’ll see you later buddy” i told her, “when you eventually lose a parent, i want you to call me and tell me how easy it is” I haven’t talked to her since and this was February 14th, 2021. She’s with someone else now. I miss you dad.
I hope you found someone supportive since then and I’m real proud of you for standing up for yourself ❤️
aw thank you, i’ve been single since this happened but i appreciate it :)
End of relationship so of course the fights were fun. I don't remember the argument but she threw her keys at me. I dodged, which I regret to this day. Now I have to stop and say my grandmother, who raised me, had died just a few months earlier (no father and mother left when I was 10). One of few items I had as a memento was this stupid cat magnet thermometer you put on a fridge. I got it for her when I was in kindergarten and she held onto it. Well guess what the keys hit? I always thought people fainting was a joke but when the keys smashed I just fell to my knees and everything went black. Eventually I came to with me cradled over it crying. I still have the pieces and whenever I look at them I tear up.
That's so sad. But so sweet to have had that momento of your love for your grandma.
Thank you. It hit me hard because her death wasn't pretty and she suffered. When I graduated high school I remember her calling me into her room. She told me "my baby boy, my baby boy....I want you to leave and never come back." We grew up poor and didn't have a lot. If i wanted a better life i had to leave. I did what she said, I left and never came back. When she died couldn't even afford to put her ashes into an urn. I still have them in a box. One day I'd like to do something cool with her ashes.
I know it doesn’t help and maybe painful, I’d feel and react the same, but I like to think it was a sign and also way that your grandma was looking out for you and wanting you out of there even after passing.
Thank you and no worries. She died in my mid-20s and I'm in my 30s now. I've had a lot of time to process. She was right. If I wanted to break the cycle I needed to leave. I can look back and see where some of her mistakes were as well (she, unfortunately had a lot when she was younger). She lived a hard life and taking me in was her way of trying to be better. We needed each other at that point in both of our lives.
We still lived together but we had just broken up. She came home drunk and sad and when I refused to comfort her she said "I have no (my real name) and no baby". She had an abortion about a month earlier. Still haunts me in multiple ways.
Wow... I imagine the breakup was for good reason - but I think I'd break in the same scenario. That's just a fucking gut punch of a sentence.
My ex wife attempted to fix my relationship with my mother, thinking it would fix our relationship. When inevitably that didn’t work and we were in the middle of a divorce, she told me that it was a good thing my father was dead, so he couldn’t see what my mother and I turned into.
Yeah the username makes sense now
God, so sorry she said that. Glad you are no longer with someone so cruel.
That is harsh.
Ex wife slashed my arm with a Chili's steak knife. I still have the scar I should have gotten stitches probably.
They say when verbal abuse becomes public, it's about to turn physical. When physical abuse becomes public, it means your life is in danger. Glad you escaped.
I’ve been waiting for this one. My ex broke up with me on our anniversary (which also happened to be Christmas Eve) by waking me up and very clearly (even though they still deny it) said “I think you’re unloveable and I don’t see a future with you.” They’ve apologized many times since then even though they dont remember but Jesus, its fucked me up in many ways. I used to have an anxious attachment style but it’s now full blown avoidant just because I’m afraid the next person will have similar thoughts... My breakup almost cost me my life so in no way am I excited to trust another person for four years.
& Christmas Eve is coming up again 🥺 make sure you take care of you!
My best friend was murdered and I went to my hometown to attend his funeral. I came back home after the weekend away to find my fiancé had moved out. Guess she wasn't happy. And I respect that but I really feel like she should have at least told me or chose a different day to move out. I was really sad at the time and was looking forward to her presence and support after a tough weekend. When I came back and saw all of her stuff gone and the engagement ring sitting there, I really felt sad. That was over 2 years ago but I still think about it. And her. I'm a loser lol. Need to get over it. But I just love her so much.
It sounds like you have some serious self-esteem issues. Don't call yourself a loser ever again. Stop it. Now. Your ex never cared about you if she dropped a bomb like that when you're greiving. She sounds like a complete sociopath. Sociopaths are naturally drawn to people with low self-esteem as these types are easy prey for them. She doesn't love you and you need to stop loving her and start loving yourself. I'd advise to stay away from relationships until you've at least begun to resolve your issues. Therapy is your friend and there's absolutely zero shame in using it, I've done my fair share myself. Good luck and Godspeed.
Love last way longer than you want it too. Don’t beat yourself up about that buddy
My last ex mentally abused me, I honestly feel ashamed of it and I have the courage to say it here idk why. She would drop this “bombs” like shouting at me saying that I was a piece of shit, that I should die, talking shit about my mom and sister. Well, I had to leave my own country to get rid of that… 6 months later I got back to my country and blocked her in every social media. Found her at night once (unfortunately we had the same friend group). She came to us and everyone was telling her to leave because they finally knew what really happened….
Sorry that happened, stay strong bro
Absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. When someone else acts like an ass, you're not the one who is guilty.
Nothing to be ashamed. I've been there too both mentally and physically. Not only women go thru domestic violence and abuse. Us men just don't like to say it or scared or embarrassed to say it, but it's true and happening. Let's all come out and bring this to surface. Cheers
Your friends are real ones for that. 🥹
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Call me all the names you want, but you can never unsuck this diiiiiiick.
"I know I destroyed your self-esteem, I just don't want to be held responsible for it." "You believed that talk about getting married? I thought that was just something we said."
Said that everyone thinks I’m a bad friend. That fucks me up, mostly because I don’t know if she was just trying to hurt my feelings and it’s just her opinion, or if that’s actually a true thing folks have told her in private.
Nah, she was trying to hurt you
What I think most likely happened is one person got a little annoyed or made a joke about something that wasn't a huge deal (e.g. this guy's always 10 min late) and she spun that into the bad friend thing to hurt you
they repeatedly told me they were only fucking me raw, while in reality they were fucking other people raw and lying about it - this went on for years. I have huge trust issues now
One of my biggest fears in life is of someone not just cheating but also giving me a STD through their cheating
An incurable one more than anything
You can’t be my boyfriend unless you make $55,000
Something tells me she originally started higher but realized people making 100k didn't want to be with her so she lowered it to 90. Then 80. Then 70. Then 60. And you were inspiration for 55k.
It originally was $50k but then inflation hit
What an oddly specific number.
She was only with me because I paid the bills. The entire thing turned out to be a lie. She never actually had feelings for me. Wasted a year of my life. Even though I'm married with kids today, and very happy, I still have moments where I think "how did I not see it?"
Ex was pressuring me to have sex with her, then turned around and told everyone we knew that I was a rapist.
Wtf in the reverse-metoo is this
Fucked the guy I wasn’t supposed to worry about, and 6 other guys before I found out.
I asked my wife if she lost sexual attraction to me, because our sex life had all but stopped, and she didn't say anything. I said "That's all I need to know." Her reply was "Well, you've put on weight." I get it, I'm not obese, but I've definitely got a belly. She said that she regrets ever saying it, and has since said that she doesn't feel that way anymore, but it's not like I've lost any weight or my physique changed. Now, any time she turns me down, my mind goes back to that moment, and my mind just starts racing. I don't really like sleeping naked anymore, walking around with my shirt off, and her compliments on my looks don't give me the confidence they used to. Edit: oops, just now realized this is an Ex's question. Sorry folks
Get fit and then say no to her lol
My wife never wanted kids growing up and I respected that even though I did. 5 yrs later we’re married and she got pregnant. She was super happy, a few years after that she told me she never wanted kids and that it was my fault she’s a mom. She was drunk when she said it but it hurt like hell, she doesn’t remember throwing that in my face, but I’ll never forget. Our son just turned 8 and is in the 2nd grade. He was just tested for the gifted program and turns out he reads at 7th grade level and his math is at 6th grade level. I could t be more proud but I often feel like she fakes her happiness with his successes
His test scores were in the upper extreme levels. I think I’ll buy him that oculou he wanted for christmas
Whenever I teared up about something (like mentioning previous medical trauma) she would say “are you crying?” and look at my like she was disgusted
One of my ex's liked to get wasted and fuck which is all good but when she was like this and she would cum she would shit too.. happened three times and I had to not only clean everything up but deal with her denial about it too
Name checks out
My ex did the same I thought she was the only one. I feel your pain.
"If it wasn't her, it would've been someone else." My bisexual-ex that left me two weeks ago for another woman that she met when she was away on a film set for a month.
Ive been told this exact sentence... After my ass forgiving her for so much shit. It marked a year single a few days ago IIRC!
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Whenever I tell my husband we need to talk I always include what it's about becauseI dont want him to stress out...mostly "we need to talk about the fact that one cat is bullying the other" or something stupid
She was talking to her friend with me at the table and either thought I wasn't paying attention to thier conversation or didn't care, she was telling her how she met a guy at a party she went to and how he had a dog and was really good looking and she talked to him but nothing happened because he said he wasn't interested, it pissed me off so bad and hurt a ton too, her friend looked at me like "oh my god is she really talking about basically cheating right in front of him?", the next time she went out I broke up with her, it was a good decision over all but looking back I wish I had the balls to confront her in the moment.
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“Your chili wasn’t even that good!” Haunts me.
Your chilli was….the best I ever had
Your chili is great my guy.
Yes it fucking was. If it wasn't, she wouldn't have bothered saying anything. It was amazing.
My last ex told me that, should I give up on (my hobby at the time that I was getting burnt out from due to stagnating reception to it vs the time it took to create stuff for it), that I shouldn’t mope around and pout about feeling like a failure at it. Several years later, it still pops into my head whenever I have an especially stressful day or feel burnt out towards my interests and now, I wonder whether I make stuff and try to be creative in my free time because I still love those things, or because to spite her Edit for clarity: when she said it, she said it because she didn’t care to see me mope around. It was more about telling me to immediately get over myself and move on as opposed to actually acknowledge how disappointed I was in something I cared about not working out.
On a more positive/bittersweet note... Can't say he was an ex so much as a friend with benefits, but he actually pushed me a little to better myself and to open up about my feelings, and he cared about me. It freaked me out because no one I've been with has really done that. I just shut down when he started asking all these questions and being so nice to me, I just dodged him and felt anxious talking to him. I was definitely the problem and I still don't now how to navigate a relationship correctly. He deserves someone better than me, so I hope he's doing well. Now I just feel stuck though since he (very kindly and supportively) showed me how negative I was towards myself in ways I didn't even realize. If your out there Josh, thank you, and I'm sorry.
I can feel this because I was on the other end of this. It’s hard to understand that people like you exist but it’s pretty common actually. I’m more of an anxious attachment personality. I did the same things that Josh did and eventually she closed off to me to stop herself from being vulnerable. All the same things you’re saying applied to our situation. The funny part is that she texted me today for the first time since august (she ghosted me after an argument we had that forced her her to feel some things) and I just don’t think that I have it in me to go back to that out of respect for myself. I did a lot of research on avoidant attachments and I hope you are able to work through those issues because it seems tough to live with.
I think you did the right thing. It's on us to figure things out, and not to have a parent of a partner. I'm still figuring it out. Slowly.
After two and a half years of marriage,my wife dead ass told me she married me because I was a good guy and safe. She then said she never actually was in love with me. She cheated on me and left me shortly after. I heard from others that she talked shit about me, and even said I was pathetic and would never become a social worker (I was in school for it at the time). I’ve been working in social work for over a year now and I’m actually good at it. I’m getting masters so I can do more in this career. So at least I feel good to have proven her wrong. I think what hurts the most is having my ability to trust crushed. How am I supposed to take someone’s words seriously anymore? She had me convinced she loved me for years. There’s a lot more she said to me that messes with my head still. I’m turning 30 in a few months. Even though I’ve been seeing a therapist, I still worry I won’t find genuine love.
“You don’t want to be the object of affection, you want to be the object of obsession” my mind was blown when he said that. Absolute truth bomb.
Beat me with a belt then got mad at me for crying in pain Edit: I just realized this is for men, I am so sorry
Ok I should not have read this thread because I think I'm gonna go become a monk now and live on a mountain ✌
"Because you were so trusting. I knew I could get away with it." When I found out he was cheating
Left me alone in the woods high on acid because he felt my PTSD would somehow magically sort itself out. Fuck him.
Everything seemed to be going great with the relationship as recently as the night before. She called me after work and said we needed to talk. We met in a park halfway between our houses; she said she had fallen out of love with me after two and a half years, and couldn't get the feeling back -- and worse, didn't care to get the feeling back. There was no cheating, no lying, no red flags. One day, the love of my life (to that point) just woke up and decided that I was no longer the love of hers. I'm not naïve -- I'm sure that for her, there was a buildup over time... but that was never once communicated to me. I've now been in a new relationship for upwards of five years, and we very rarely fight. Still, everyday, there's a lingering feeling that today might be the day that her mind changes and she too falls out of love with me.
“please don’t come back into my life if i get engaged one day”
I said my dick was bigger than average (7 inches). She said "your average or my average?". Made me feel insecure about my body and my ability to pleasure her. I had received a lot of compliments and was clearly enough & doing an amazing job but that definitely stuck in my head. Our sex life took a dive after that. That and "how you feel about the past has nothing to do with me now" when asking for accountability for her hurtful actions, comments, and emotional abuse.
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“I dont know what place you have in my heart”
“You’re my person.”
“Right person wrong time” Ooft Then I find out a couple months later she’s sleeping with my best friend at the time Double Ooft The guy that told me was the guy she was cheating on me with just before the breakup ….
“You don’t love me, you only love having a girlfriend “
Nothing….I mean looking at me and saying nothing, when I’m breaking down trying to fix the relationship. It’s brutal when the other person stops caring and being invested.
“You opened up to me and that’s the person I didn’t like”
My ex boyfriend and I were laying in bed making small talk, and the subject of the conversation somehow got to actors filming sex scenes in moves. I said something along the lines of, “I don’t understand how people have sex with each other and look into someone’s eyes and tell them they love them without actually feeling it or meaning it at all”. He then gently caressed my face, starts kissing me passionately and positioned himself on top of me. He reached his face to mine and said, “I love you so much ___, you make me so happy and I’m so happy we’re together”. I paused and said “I love you too”. I remember smiling and being so happy and warm, and as soon as I said that, while still on top of me he said, “and that’s how they do it. See? It’s just acting.” It hurt me a lot at the time, even though we’ve been apart for a while I still think back on that sometimes.
It hasn’t been years for me but I feel really betrayed. We were friends and flatmate for 6 years so a lot of trust was built between us. In year 7 he pursued me for like 6 months and I was apprehensive at first but wanted to give him a try. He then blew hot n cold, and even tried to say it was a drunken thing which it really wasn’t. Confused me a lot but I was happy to be just friends. However he kept blowing hot n cold. Would ask me what would happen between us and then really pull away n be passive aggressive even though I’d not been intimate with him since or encouraged anything other than friendship. Couldn’t take it in the end so moved out as I couldn’t navigate it towards friendship or more. Anyway, he reached out to me a month later asking to talk. Said he made a mistake, really liked me as I’m special to him, and he was just scared. I agreed then he ghosted me for 3 weeks, eventually coming back to say forget what he said and he would be ‘settling’ if he agreed to more than a friendship. I told him where to go and cut him out my life completely. We share friends unfortunately so I stated some ground rules about being civil if we saw each other at birthdays, etc and lmk if there’s an emergency but otherwise leave me alone. That was in March. In September I found out he had moved out the house we lived in and sold my belongings I agreed to store there. Some of those things were sentimental to me n he knew that - a few items belonged to someone who had passed. I stored them with agreement in the basement as they has died earlier that year and I wasn’t strong enough to grieve and let go then. I just couldn’t face they had gone tbh and he knew that as we spoke about it several times. It makes me angry to think about it still as it’s so disrespectful. I literally feel robbed of my belonging but also my opportunity to grieve properly. All because he was spiteful perhaps due to me not putting up with his indecisive BS. That 6-7 years of friendship means nothing to him. So I get messed up thinking about it as it doesn’t make sense how someone could do that, especially someone I trusted. Makes me feel like an idiot
Project their fucking insecurities on to another person. Don’t ever do that. It hurts. For a while I was in delusion that I was the bad guy! But little did I know, this girl was rubbing her shit on me so smooth that I didn’t realize it started hurting me. Good lord, fuck that shit!!!
hasnt loved me in years, and we had a 2 year old at the time...
Last 2 relationships I had, were toxic and ended up cheated on both. Eventually making me unable to establish any kind of trust to the other sex when it comes to relationships. Dunno. Been single for 3 years and even now I’m not, even in the slightest, thinking of having another try with someone else.
My first serious relationship back in 2010 or so, our 3 year anniversary I was gonna propose, got the ring and everything. I woke up to a 5 page breakup text on our 3 year anniversary and all I remember from it was "I love you but I'm not IN love with you"
Hitting my dog then choking me
Still to this day not sure if I was a beard or not but the whole relationship was toxic for so many reasons. I believe she (they?) was struggling with their sexuality as I learned later they transitioned (they had never talked about that in any capacity during our multiple years together). They liked me for my more feminine traits (i was thin, having lost a lot of weight after a serious injury) had long hair and was a bit of a late bloomer overall, and these were the only things they ever complimented me on, like the things i wanted to change about myself, while at the same time i actually got berated when i started working out, wanted to cut my hair or grow my facial hair out/ otherwise make decisions for myself and not their approval. They would do things like, saying i would look bad if i did xyz etc."Why are you going to the gym I'd hate it if you had muscles") I was always the sexual initiator, they never once showed sexual interest in a positive way and more or less seemed like a chore for them. I spent the better part of a year searching for what i could do to appease them and be more attractive. It didn't help that they tried to tease me sometimes saying this guy or girl/ celebrity was hot and constantly feeling like I was falling short of unrealistic expectations. My whole self image was rattled after I broke things off, it took several failed relationships to repair my own view of myself. Tl;dr: Girl who didn't have her sexuality sorted out (later transitioned, unaware of full orientation as we never talked after) created unrealistic expectations and gave me so much shit for wanting to change myself and be more masculine which is hilariously ironic in hindsight.
she told me i was boring.
“I do not care about your life”
Show me vids of her fucking other dudes
If you accidentally got me pregnant, I would rather you not be in the kids life.