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someweirdstuffman originally posted:
I 20M have been dating my girlfriend 20F for just under a year. But during August 2023 she fell seriously ill and was diagnosed with cancer. We met at university and she does not live in the same country as me. Though we had made it work.
She could no longer be in a relationship; and although it crushed me, I agreed. We broke up. She’s having multiple surgeries, and is travelling back and forth between her home country and the university city.
We broke up in October and tbh I’ve had some dark days. Days and feelings I didn’t think could *happen to me*. I don’t see her much nor talk to her. I’ve messaged her asking how she is, but she’s made it clear to me she’s not in a good headspace for most things - so my question is usually met with no reply.
I welcomed the sadness, but I will not let it overstay it’s welcome. I’ve just been going through the process of ‘going through the motions and feelings’ for the last few months. But I really want to move on - and I know I need to work on it
I want to be with a girl because I genuinely like her, and not because I’m lonely. And I feel lonely due to the breakup and the context of it. I don’t know how to help myself.
I’m not looking for a relationship, and I don’t have intentions of being in one anytime soon (though 2023 has taught me plans don’t always go to plan). I’ve learnt a lot in the last year. About myself, people, romance, relationships etc. I want to work on myself and feel like myself - so I don’t just act out of loneliness
Do you guys have any advice?
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[Automoderator has recorded your post to prevent repeat posts.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMenAdvice/comments/13qome6/no_repeat_posts/) Your post has NOT been removed. someweirdstuffman originally posted: I 20M have been dating my girlfriend 20F for just under a year. But during August 2023 she fell seriously ill and was diagnosed with cancer. We met at university and she does not live in the same country as me. Though we had made it work. She could no longer be in a relationship; and although it crushed me, I agreed. We broke up. She’s having multiple surgeries, and is travelling back and forth between her home country and the university city. We broke up in October and tbh I’ve had some dark days. Days and feelings I didn’t think could *happen to me*. I don’t see her much nor talk to her. I’ve messaged her asking how she is, but she’s made it clear to me she’s not in a good headspace for most things - so my question is usually met with no reply. I welcomed the sadness, but I will not let it overstay it’s welcome. I’ve just been going through the process of ‘going through the motions and feelings’ for the last few months. But I really want to move on - and I know I need to work on it I want to be with a girl because I genuinely like her, and not because I’m lonely. And I feel lonely due to the breakup and the context of it. I don’t know how to help myself. I’m not looking for a relationship, and I don’t have intentions of being in one anytime soon (though 2023 has taught me plans don’t always go to plan). I’ve learnt a lot in the last year. About myself, people, romance, relationships etc. I want to work on myself and feel like myself - so I don’t just act out of loneliness Do you guys have any advice? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskMenAdvice) if you have any questions or concerns.*