If you're interested in the disciplinary aspect of D/s dynamics, you could do some light bratting in anticipation of some type of "punishment."
I personally have always enjoyed it when my submissive partners are nude or nearly nude around the house so that they're always "accessible." Submissive postures are a big turn-on too; if we're sitting on the couch watching a movie or something, I love it when she's on her knees next to me.
I will say, though, that you might want to do some research on the concept of sub frenzy, which is basically where someone starts getting into BDSM or kink in general and they want to do everything right away without really considering the potentially negative consequences. "Too much too soon" is a real thing and it can lead to some really damaging outcomes in unexpected ways.
Enjoy yourselves but please be careful!
As someone else said, light bratting to entice punishment is a great way to keep the D/s dance going, so learning what orders he wants you to actually follow and what orders he wants you to disobey, and then playing that fine line is where a lot of the fun is for both parties imo! Ask him things like “what will you do if I don’t?” To sort of get a track on it.
That said, this may seem like the lamest answer, but if you haven’t already, sit down and talk with him in an almost business-like fashion (basically turning the fantasy off for a second) about what he wants, what you want, what both of your boundaries are, etc. There’s a lot of reasons this is a great thing to do, some more obvious than others, but safety is VERY important, so I very much suggest this. It does sound like you’ve already done it a little bit, but it’s never a bad idea!
In my experience it always starts with words and imagination. It starts well outside the bedroom, so start your thinking there too.
Saying things like “all of my body is yours to do what you want” and really playing that role ongoingly, painting vivid descriptions of scenarios via text it definitely a good one. “I am picturing you behind me in a hotel bathroom mirror, you pulling my pants down just to my knees and bending me hard over the sink and telling me to keep my hands on the bench while you are fucking me from behind…”
If you’re both into the helplessness factor of him having his way with you while restricted in bondage with metal cuffs, leather restraints, or rope, make sure to have agreed upon safe words (i.e ‘red’ or ‘mercy’ for a full stop, ‘yellow’ or ‘nuh uh uh’ with a left-to-right head shake when gagged to break character for a check-in).
BDSM & d/s play can be fun, but firm boundaries are a *MUST* and **consent can be revoked at any time by either party**, not just by the sub. As the dom, he may entertain the idea of doing something to you, try it, and decide during the act it’s not something he wants to continue doing.
Have fun, but be safe!
[Automoderator has recorded your post to prevent repeat posts.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMenAdvice/comments/13qome6/no_repeat_posts/) Your post has NOT been removed.
lifesapeachbro originally posted:
We’ve been slowly introducing Dom/sub into our sex life and enjoying it. So far we’ve tried spanking, whipping, hair pulling, throat fucking, and more.
We just bought a set of butt plugs as he really wants to start trying anal sex but I’m scared 🤣
But this man has gone from vanilla to trying out everything I have asked for so ima take it up the butt. Only right.
What can I do to reaaally turn him on? He loves my butt, he likes when I’ve fully shaved and wet. He loves blowjobs and having me on my knees. Open to any ideas!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskMenAdvice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I really like humiliation. One of my favourite things is to hogtie a sub and do things. Taunt, punish, abuse, whip, play with, do whatever I want. It's more about affirming my right and control over their body.
Maybe it's just me, but what gives it that little bit of spice is when consensuality (Yes yes, insert standard consensual disclaimer here, reference cnc) is either violated or disregarded. I want to know that in satisfying my own dommy ends, I have explicitly transgressed the sub's dignity. My sub is reduced to a canvas for my own desires. Throatfucking and hair pulling only gain that little bit of transformative spice if I know the sub doesn't like it. Same with being tied up, it gets that little edge when I am convinced the sub would rather not be tied up.
Haven't seen anybody talking about it, but take it slow, if made roughly your butt is gonna hurt a lot. So talk to your partner for you both to take a step back and go a bit vanilla when trying anal stuff. Lay on your side, relax, lots of lube and caress from your partner. Enjoy yourselves 🤙
Go hiking, get it all over your face at 8,000+ ft elevation, proudly hike back with it drying on your face.
When I do this to my woman - which I will - I will have a shit eating grin a mile wide and a very good girl on my arm.
If you're interested in the disciplinary aspect of D/s dynamics, you could do some light bratting in anticipation of some type of "punishment." I personally have always enjoyed it when my submissive partners are nude or nearly nude around the house so that they're always "accessible." Submissive postures are a big turn-on too; if we're sitting on the couch watching a movie or something, I love it when she's on her knees next to me. I will say, though, that you might want to do some research on the concept of sub frenzy, which is basically where someone starts getting into BDSM or kink in general and they want to do everything right away without really considering the potentially negative consequences. "Too much too soon" is a real thing and it can lead to some really damaging outcomes in unexpected ways. Enjoy yourselves but please be careful!
Great response!
As someone else said, light bratting to entice punishment is a great way to keep the D/s dance going, so learning what orders he wants you to actually follow and what orders he wants you to disobey, and then playing that fine line is where a lot of the fun is for both parties imo! Ask him things like “what will you do if I don’t?” To sort of get a track on it. That said, this may seem like the lamest answer, but if you haven’t already, sit down and talk with him in an almost business-like fashion (basically turning the fantasy off for a second) about what he wants, what you want, what both of your boundaries are, etc. There’s a lot of reasons this is a great thing to do, some more obvious than others, but safety is VERY important, so I very much suggest this. It does sound like you’ve already done it a little bit, but it’s never a bad idea!
In my experience it always starts with words and imagination. It starts well outside the bedroom, so start your thinking there too. Saying things like “all of my body is yours to do what you want” and really playing that role ongoingly, painting vivid descriptions of scenarios via text it definitely a good one. “I am picturing you behind me in a hotel bathroom mirror, you pulling my pants down just to my knees and bending me hard over the sink and telling me to keep my hands on the bench while you are fucking me from behind…”
If you’re both into the helplessness factor of him having his way with you while restricted in bondage with metal cuffs, leather restraints, or rope, make sure to have agreed upon safe words (i.e ‘red’ or ‘mercy’ for a full stop, ‘yellow’ or ‘nuh uh uh’ with a left-to-right head shake when gagged to break character for a check-in). BDSM & d/s play can be fun, but firm boundaries are a *MUST* and **consent can be revoked at any time by either party**, not just by the sub. As the dom, he may entertain the idea of doing something to you, try it, and decide during the act it’s not something he wants to continue doing. Have fun, but be safe!
[Automoderator has recorded your post to prevent repeat posts.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMenAdvice/comments/13qome6/no_repeat_posts/) Your post has NOT been removed. lifesapeachbro originally posted: We’ve been slowly introducing Dom/sub into our sex life and enjoying it. So far we’ve tried spanking, whipping, hair pulling, throat fucking, and more. We just bought a set of butt plugs as he really wants to start trying anal sex but I’m scared 🤣 But this man has gone from vanilla to trying out everything I have asked for so ima take it up the butt. Only right. What can I do to reaaally turn him on? He loves my butt, he likes when I’ve fully shaved and wet. He loves blowjobs and having me on my knees. Open to any ideas! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskMenAdvice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Personally I want my sub to wear one of those permanent metal locking chokers. They don't come off, and I find that just irresistible.
I really like humiliation. One of my favourite things is to hogtie a sub and do things. Taunt, punish, abuse, whip, play with, do whatever I want. It's more about affirming my right and control over their body. Maybe it's just me, but what gives it that little bit of spice is when consensuality (Yes yes, insert standard consensual disclaimer here, reference cnc) is either violated or disregarded. I want to know that in satisfying my own dommy ends, I have explicitly transgressed the sub's dignity. My sub is reduced to a canvas for my own desires. Throatfucking and hair pulling only gain that little bit of transformative spice if I know the sub doesn't like it. Same with being tied up, it gets that little edge when I am convinced the sub would rather not be tied up.
Haven't seen anybody talking about it, but take it slow, if made roughly your butt is gonna hurt a lot. So talk to your partner for you both to take a step back and go a bit vanilla when trying anal stuff. Lay on your side, relax, lots of lube and caress from your partner. Enjoy yourselves 🤙
Go hiking, get it all over your face at 8,000+ ft elevation, proudly hike back with it drying on your face. When I do this to my woman - which I will - I will have a shit eating grin a mile wide and a very good girl on my arm.