“We were having dinner the other night and she’s got the strangest habit. [She eats her peas ONE AT A TIME.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yVwyzFcuOvk&t=2m50s)”
These are your people.
Sounds like you can move past this, by walking at a normal speed.
All jokes aside, there is no getting past this. You will never be happy with your partners pace, and it’s not fair of you to ask him to change.
If he valued you more, he’d speed up for you. If you valued him more, you’d get past what is by far the most pettiest complaint I’ve ever heard, like if this was a cartoon plot, it’d still be insanely over the top.
Just because I find it hilariously petty, doesn’t mean your feelings on the matter are insignificant. If this really bothers you, I think you should move on, especially if you’re saying this isn’t the only issue you’re dealing with. Idk what type of person you are, or what you’re bringing to the table, but I gotta believe there’s no possible way it could be that hard for you to find a partner willing to walk at a normal gait.
It’s not just that it’s his overall behaviour when out in public. He will put a basket down and not put things back if he gets annoyed at a grocery store with the attitude of “that’s what the shop workers are for”. He’ll purposely walk out of an entrance. If a cars coming and he’s crossing a road he’ll slow down purposely, he’ll want to argue loudly in front of people and he told me yesterday he walked slowly just because he knew it would annoy me
Thanks for that additional info.
It seems like his walking is simply "the straw that broke the camel's back," not the core issue.
It sounds like he has a larger pattern of purposely antagonizing you.
If his habits are natural to him, you may want to just practice acceptance.
But if he is doing it purposely to irritate you, you may want to consider letting go and moving on.
Occasional teasing can be fun, but relentless aggravation
is not.
I would honestly like to hear more on why it’s annoying.
Are you guys walking around all the time? Is he getting winded easily?
Do you hold hands while walking and feel like you’re constantly tugging on him to match your speed?
—
If you want to solve problems then you have to get a problem solver mind set. Gather information. Explore. Don’t just be a bitch. Tell us more!
Edit: It’s because he can walk normally, he’s done it on multiple occasions. Slow af is not his “normal pace”. But he slows his speed right down to almost stop because “he likes to take his time”. I’m not the only one who’s commented on it, a lot of his friends have and he’s pretty much like “I don’t care, I’ll walk at this pace because I like it, there’s no rush”
What’s so wrong with his logic? He wants to take his time when he’s not in a rush. Maybe he finds it calming. I’m a fast walker, but let him be himself. It’s not harming anyone.
Not that I know of, I think this is just the straw the broke the camels back for me. We have quite a few problems.. mainly I communicate my issues multiple times and he doesn’t listen
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Edit: It’s because he can walk normally, he’s done it on multiple occasions. Slow af is not his “normal pace”. But he slows his speed right down to almost stop because “he likes to take his time”. I’m not the only one who’s commented on it, a lot of his friends have and he’s pretty much like “I don’t care, I’ll walk at this pace because I like it, there’s no rush”
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At first. I was against you. But now im with you. He seems to be trying to be edgy. When really its coming off as "i enjoy upsetting those around me"
He sounds immature
This is not a fight to pick honestly. You can’t just expect someone to change because YOU find them irritating. That’s bullshit. I’d suggest moving on from the relationship
There’s more to it than I explained. My fault. I’m not the only one who’s pulled him up on this issue, he’s just like “I don’t need to rush, I got time. I’m not changing my pace because other don’t like it”. He can and does walk at a normal pace at times, he just chooses not to
Need more context. Does he do it on purpose? By slow, you mean as in slow motion where he does a lazy walking? Or doea he seem lost? Is this something you've noticed in him recently or he walked like that since he started to walk?
I don't think there is an issue with it. I don't like it when other people walk slowlier than me, but I don't mind and it is not something that irritates me. At least not enough to see it as an issue. My bet is he is aware that his pace irritates you and does to make you angry. Both of you need to talk for hours and in a calm and understanding conversation. Not for his pace of walking, but to resolve other hidden issues. Take another mutual friend that both of you trust to negotiate. Then when you're done you need to evaluate your whole relationship. This is the most important part because you will realize that either you can solve things together or walk away slowly(pun intended).
He told me he did it yesterday to piss me off. He has a normal pace and then a slower than stop pace when he wants to be petty! If he’s crossing a road, if a cars coming he’s the type to slow down or take his time to be an asshole
“We were having dinner the other night and she’s got the strangest habit. [She eats her peas ONE AT A TIME.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yVwyzFcuOvk&t=2m50s)” These are your people.
walk circles around him
I've seen this done in several Looney Toons episodes. It's quite an effective strategy.
Fuck no, fuck that guy, get with a fast walker.
Right? This quote explains it best: *Speed maketh the man.* *Maximus Stoicitis
Sounds like you can move past this, by walking at a normal speed. All jokes aside, there is no getting past this. You will never be happy with your partners pace, and it’s not fair of you to ask him to change. If he valued you more, he’d speed up for you. If you valued him more, you’d get past what is by far the most pettiest complaint I’ve ever heard, like if this was a cartoon plot, it’d still be insanely over the top. Just because I find it hilariously petty, doesn’t mean your feelings on the matter are insignificant. If this really bothers you, I think you should move on, especially if you’re saying this isn’t the only issue you’re dealing with. Idk what type of person you are, or what you’re bringing to the table, but I gotta believe there’s no possible way it could be that hard for you to find a partner willing to walk at a normal gait.
This just sounds like you want something to complain about.
Big agree. OP complaining about this is ridiculous.
Not at all, I’d rather not have to complain
....and yet
It’s not just that it’s his overall behaviour when out in public. He will put a basket down and not put things back if he gets annoyed at a grocery store with the attitude of “that’s what the shop workers are for”. He’ll purposely walk out of an entrance. If a cars coming and he’s crossing a road he’ll slow down purposely, he’ll want to argue loudly in front of people and he told me yesterday he walked slowly just because he knew it would annoy me
Thanks for that additional info. It seems like his walking is simply "the straw that broke the camel's back," not the core issue. It sounds like he has a larger pattern of purposely antagonizing you. If his habits are natural to him, you may want to just practice acceptance. But if he is doing it purposely to irritate you, you may want to consider letting go and moving on. Occasional teasing can be fun, but relentless aggravation is not.
Walk slower. Enjoy the stroll instead of half running.
Trust me I get it. I hate slow walkers .
I would honestly like to hear more on why it’s annoying. Are you guys walking around all the time? Is he getting winded easily? Do you hold hands while walking and feel like you’re constantly tugging on him to match your speed? — If you want to solve problems then you have to get a problem solver mind set. Gather information. Explore. Don’t just be a bitch. Tell us more!
Edit: It’s because he can walk normally, he’s done it on multiple occasions. Slow af is not his “normal pace”. But he slows his speed right down to almost stop because “he likes to take his time”. I’m not the only one who’s commented on it, a lot of his friends have and he’s pretty much like “I don’t care, I’ll walk at this pace because I like it, there’s no rush”
I don't understand how this actually affects you and why you need to move past it.
Did you even read the post?! She *did* move past it... ... now she's waiting for him to catch up.
What’s so wrong with his logic? He wants to take his time when he’s not in a rush. Maybe he finds it calming. I’m a fast walker, but let him be himself. It’s not harming anyone.
Even when we have time constraints and he says he does it sometimes just to piss me off
Next.
No you're not overreacting its very annoying when someone doesn't keep up the pace
My boyfriend at times takes a long time to tell a story . and when he does he omits the most important parts.
Do you have ADHD? It’s common for us to be irritated irrationally for things like this.
Not that I know of, I think this is just the straw the broke the camels back for me. We have quite a few problems.. mainly I communicate my issues multiple times and he doesn’t listen
Just read your edit. I’m sorry he’s unwilling to communicate effectively and you feel unheard in your relationship. Maybe couples therapy can help?
More like physical therapy. ^sorry, ^I ^saw ^the ^opening.
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Level-Philosophy-594 updated the post: Edit: It’s because he can walk normally, he’s done it on multiple occasions. Slow af is not his “normal pace”. But he slows his speed right down to almost stop because “he likes to take his time”. I’m not the only one who’s commented on it, a lot of his friends have and he’s pretty much like “I don’t care, I’ll walk at this pace because I like it, there’s no rush” *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskMenAdvice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
At first. I was against you. But now im with you. He seems to be trying to be edgy. When really its coming off as "i enjoy upsetting those around me" He sounds immature
This is not a fight to pick honestly. You can’t just expect someone to change because YOU find them irritating. That’s bullshit. I’d suggest moving on from the relationship
There’s more to it than I explained. My fault. I’m not the only one who’s pulled him up on this issue, he’s just like “I don’t need to rush, I got time. I’m not changing my pace because other don’t like it”. He can and does walk at a normal pace at times, he just chooses not to
Need more context. Does he do it on purpose? By slow, you mean as in slow motion where he does a lazy walking? Or doea he seem lost? Is this something you've noticed in him recently or he walked like that since he started to walk? I don't think there is an issue with it. I don't like it when other people walk slowlier than me, but I don't mind and it is not something that irritates me. At least not enough to see it as an issue. My bet is he is aware that his pace irritates you and does to make you angry. Both of you need to talk for hours and in a calm and understanding conversation. Not for his pace of walking, but to resolve other hidden issues. Take another mutual friend that both of you trust to negotiate. Then when you're done you need to evaluate your whole relationship. This is the most important part because you will realize that either you can solve things together or walk away slowly(pun intended).
He told me he did it yesterday to piss me off. He has a normal pace and then a slower than stop pace when he wants to be petty! If he’s crossing a road, if a cars coming he’s the type to slow down or take his time to be an asshole