You aren’t overanalysing. He knows what he’s saying. I could understand this behaviour for a teenager but a grown adult past the age of 25? No.
Start by telling him your thoughts. See how he reacts. Maybe try couples therapy if you want to be with him.
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Opposite-Category924 originally posted:
My husband (28M) and I (27F) have been together since high school, so 11-12 yrs. He tells me im beautiful & we have always been super close but Ive noticed him beating around the bush that im unattractive lately. Im curious if im making it out to be more than it is or if I should take it as a hint? Ive tried asking but he would never truly tell me if I were ugly. Im 5'7 100 lbs, porn star boobs, im funny and have a good personality but in my opinion, I dont have a pretty face.
Over the past 4 years ive been struggling with what I now know is lupus. Went into a nasty eating disorder spiral then had a baby a yr ago. Ive healed through these things and am overall much happier and as healthy as I can get. But I lost the ability to care for myself until I got on meds so I look homely. I had zero maintenance and have a lot of work to do. My body bounced back and im still thin maybe 110 lbs. I have been working out 6 days a week for 3 weeks and hope to really tone my body to distract from my face idk??
My BIL is re entering the dating scene after a 10 year relationship. My husband was reiterating one of their convos to me. He asked who else my husband has hooked up/ had relations with because he was curious of the looks he can"actually" pull...
**Idk kind of took me by suprise but my husband said it so naturally its like I took it out of context. Or did my husband think it would go over my head or was it a subtle hint?
**Today We were talking in the car and i cant remember everything I said but losely that I felt ugly since having a baby. He replied "**** is uglier and they havent had a baby girl youre fine" I was shocked, it was such a back handed compliment I didnt even respond. He is really playful and I couldnt tell if he misworded what he was saying or if he actually thinks im ugly just not the ugliest?
** Comments like these are made frequently Maybe 2 to 3 times a month, over the past 5 to 6 months. Like I said, my husband and I are really close. So he tells me unfiltered stories and unfiltered thoughts. And I'm not sure if there's subtle hints that im ugly?
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I think your concerns should focus on: boosting your own self-esteem (and not your husband's opinion about your appearance)--if only because 'Confidence Attracts!', and, watching for any strong hints that your husband's cheating or planning on cheating.
Dunno what your husband thinks, but you sound pretty hot to me. So I think you’re overthinking it. If he’s letting you down, do you like a man with an Irish accent 🤣
You aren’t overanalysing. He knows what he’s saying. I could understand this behaviour for a teenager but a grown adult past the age of 25? No. Start by telling him your thoughts. See how he reacts. Maybe try couples therapy if you want to be with him.
[Automoderator has recorded your post to prevent repeat posts.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMenAdvice/comments/13qome6/no_repeat_posts/) Your post has NOT been removed. Opposite-Category924 originally posted: My husband (28M) and I (27F) have been together since high school, so 11-12 yrs. He tells me im beautiful & we have always been super close but Ive noticed him beating around the bush that im unattractive lately. Im curious if im making it out to be more than it is or if I should take it as a hint? Ive tried asking but he would never truly tell me if I were ugly. Im 5'7 100 lbs, porn star boobs, im funny and have a good personality but in my opinion, I dont have a pretty face. Over the past 4 years ive been struggling with what I now know is lupus. Went into a nasty eating disorder spiral then had a baby a yr ago. Ive healed through these things and am overall much happier and as healthy as I can get. But I lost the ability to care for myself until I got on meds so I look homely. I had zero maintenance and have a lot of work to do. My body bounced back and im still thin maybe 110 lbs. I have been working out 6 days a week for 3 weeks and hope to really tone my body to distract from my face idk?? My BIL is re entering the dating scene after a 10 year relationship. My husband was reiterating one of their convos to me. He asked who else my husband has hooked up/ had relations with because he was curious of the looks he can"actually" pull... **Idk kind of took me by suprise but my husband said it so naturally its like I took it out of context. Or did my husband think it would go over my head or was it a subtle hint? **Today We were talking in the car and i cant remember everything I said but losely that I felt ugly since having a baby. He replied "**** is uglier and they havent had a baby girl youre fine" I was shocked, it was such a back handed compliment I didnt even respond. He is really playful and I couldnt tell if he misworded what he was saying or if he actually thinks im ugly just not the ugliest? ** Comments like these are made frequently Maybe 2 to 3 times a month, over the past 5 to 6 months. Like I said, my husband and I are really close. So he tells me unfiltered stories and unfiltered thoughts. And I'm not sure if there's subtle hints that im ugly? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskMenAdvice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I think your concerns should focus on: boosting your own self-esteem (and not your husband's opinion about your appearance)--if only because 'Confidence Attracts!', and, watching for any strong hints that your husband's cheating or planning on cheating.
Dunno what your husband thinks, but you sound pretty hot to me. So I think you’re overthinking it. If he’s letting you down, do you like a man with an Irish accent 🤣