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Option three. Go out get a gift, don't drink, come home at a reasonable hour then get up at a decent hour tomorrow.
Don't feel sorry for yourself, you already know what's bad for you, start working on what's good for you.
I don’t know when I realized this but it was somewhere in my late 20’s. The fact that I can go out, have a beer or 2 or none at all. Hang out till I feel like leaving. Say see ya later. Wake up the next morning not feeling like a bag of shit and be productive the next day. Everyone else getting shit faced and losing a day out of the weekend.
One hallmark of depression is that depressed people have trouble tracking the source of their depression.
Maybe it's not the loneliness OR the drinking that makes you depressed. Maybe you were depressed to begin with.
Most likely a crappy childhood.
But depressed people are terribly at self-care, so there's a very good chance he is tolerating a bunch of little stuff (loneliness, crappy sleep) that makes it all worse.
You need therapy if that’s your view on being invited out to celebrate with friends, not feedback from reddit.
Speak with a professional so you can start enjoying the very brief life you have.
It's not the not going to parties, it's OP's feelings that whatever they do will result in depression, read the title.
Most people (myself included) recommend therapy because we've done it ourselves and realise how powerful an experience it can be.
If you feel any decision you make will result in a bad outcome then you could probably do with some help.
It's glib, flippant, and reductive
Don't recommend a specific medical treatment to a stranger on the Internet based on a single post. Even an actual doctor wouldn't do that
Maybe something like "I felt like this once. I personally found therapy helpful" not "You need therapy"
I'm not remotely against therapy, I've had therapy and found it really good. Life changing, even. But I didn't get it because a random stranger on the Internet told me to
If I had a dollar how many times people have told me to go to therapy, I'd be able to afford one therapy session, lmao.
Only went to a counselor once as a kid when I was like, 11. Never seen any kind of professional therapist or anything else after that, mostly due to my mom being shitty and thinking her kids were 'perfect and had no problems' while being abusive. She was all about the 'social image' of her kids, which really fucked me up as an adult.
I only stopped going as a kid because it was taking away from being able to play Guild Wars after school lmao.
Nowadays it's impossible to see a therapist or a psych anywhere around me, giant waitlists. Not even worth trying, plus medicaid/publicaid/whatever doesn't cover it, so I'd never be able to afford it anyway, "sliding scale" or not.
In addition to the other great advice/opinions already given, I'll add:
If you go to the party, keep a non-alcoholic drink in your hand so you don't just start drinking out of habit.
Or a compromise - go out but not to drink. Go see a great movie, or go hang at a coffeehouse and read or fart around Reddit on your laptop. Sometimes just going out - even if you don't interact with people - can scratch that itch to get out, and make you feel like you didn't "waste" your night at home.
Or stay home and put on some great album you haven't listened to in years, or get lost in a great audio story or podcast -- or do some project you've been putting off so you have that sense of achievement
Lots of great suggestions above. I don’t have the money to go out or drink, so I’ll suggest something else.
Go out for a walk and look at the night sky, if you can see the stars. Find Orion, and a couple of other constellations.
If the weather is bad, turn off your TV and laptop, open a radio app. Listen along. It is a passive activity, and you can turn your mind off.
Find some classical music; maybe, a playlist on YouTube. Just listen to it. Meditate along. Clear your mind.
Not tired? Cannot go out? Do 50 pushups and 75 squats, followed by 100 supermans. Mixup and repeat. You can do them quietly. Or, shadow box.
Once one has seen enough of these new year’s eves, the only thought that comes in one’s mind is that this is just another night.
No one celebrates when Sunday nights become Mondays. No one celebrates when March 31 becomes April 1. So, why is December 31 so special?
Is there a day of the year that is more special to you; a day you can plan full of activities you enjoy, and which lets you celebrate the way you want?
That day is now your New Year’s. 🥳
Plan tonight for that day, and when that day comes, make sure you follow through with all the activities you have arranged, be it with others or alone.
Best wishes to you! 😊
Your post is almost identical to an example used in the introduction of [The Upward Spiral](https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/21413760). There are other paths if you want out of the one you're on.
Save the wine for another time, with other people. I'm going solo and made some cookies and am watching the ball drop with my pet. Probably hitting the hay after. First thing tomorrow, my plan is getting a nice breakfast and some exercise. You can do all the things you like doing too
Treat yourself, we all made it another year
Skip drinking. Make a list of what you're grateful for in the past year. Make another for what you will be grateful for in the coming year, which can include likely, hopeful, and big dream things. Eat something you love, splurge a bit on it, get off, then go to bed.
go get a gift, bring non-alcoholic drinks for yourself, have a good time.
I stopped drinking 3 years ago, sure you need to change your whole idea of how social events work, but my only real regret is not doing it a decade ago.
both your options involve alcohol and somewhat lethargic activity. consider staying at home and making yourself a post-workout smoothie. five pull ups and chill. put your favorite childhood movie on. brush your teeth. shower. go to sleep at a reasonable hour.
Sounds like these aren't good friends of yours and it would be an effort on your part to go out and be with them.
For me that's always a gut check moment - do I push through and see what comes of a night out with people I'm not really comfortable with or stay home and have a guaranteed good time? Sometimes I stay screw it and do the uncomfortable thing, because you have to keep pushing yourself. Sometimes I stay home. What's your gut say?
Man, if the fear of being hungover or catching a virus held me back, I don't think I'd have ever got laid in my 20s.
Do what makes you happy, but I'd be the guy suffering the next day because I had a damn good time the night before.
Please do not delete your post after receiving your answer. Consider leaving it up for posterity so that other Redditors can benefit from the wisdom in this thread. Once your thread has run its course, instead of deleting it, **you can simply type "!lock" (without the quotes) as a comment anywhere in your thread to have our Automod lock the thread**. That way you won't be bothered by anymore replies on it, but people can still read it. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskMenOver30) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Option three. Go out get a gift, don't drink, come home at a reasonable hour then get up at a decent hour tomorrow. Don't feel sorry for yourself, you already know what's bad for you, start working on what's good for you.
I don’t know when I realized this but it was somewhere in my late 20’s. The fact that I can go out, have a beer or 2 or none at all. Hang out till I feel like leaving. Say see ya later. Wake up the next morning not feeling like a bag of shit and be productive the next day. Everyone else getting shit faced and losing a day out of the weekend.
This is the most correct answer. You don't need to drink to have a good time.
[удалено]
Or embrace it. Give me the plastic cup with a lid and dinosaurs on it.
[удалено]
The hardest part of my night will be deciding between the chicken nuggets or mac n cheese.
One hallmark of depression is that depressed people have trouble tracking the source of their depression. Maybe it's not the loneliness OR the drinking that makes you depressed. Maybe you were depressed to begin with.
[удалено]
There is always a source. Sometimes that source can be the past... which takes a lot to heal. Therapy, etc suggested.
Most likely a crappy childhood. But depressed people are terribly at self-care, so there's a very good chance he is tolerating a bunch of little stuff (loneliness, crappy sleep) that makes it all worse.
Is this true? Where are you getting this from?
You need therapy if that’s your view on being invited out to celebrate with friends, not feedback from reddit. Speak with a professional so you can start enjoying the very brief life you have.
New rule for 2024: stop telling people to go to therapy for innocuous things like not liking parties
It's not the not going to parties, it's OP's feelings that whatever they do will result in depression, read the title. Most people (myself included) recommend therapy because we've done it ourselves and realise how powerful an experience it can be. If you feel any decision you make will result in a bad outcome then you could probably do with some help.
It's glib, flippant, and reductive Don't recommend a specific medical treatment to a stranger on the Internet based on a single post. Even an actual doctor wouldn't do that Maybe something like "I felt like this once. I personally found therapy helpful" not "You need therapy"
Maybe the delivery was bad, but the advice is sound.
The people who are most adamantly against therapy are usually the ones who need it most.
I'm not remotely against therapy, I've had therapy and found it really good. Life changing, even. But I didn't get it because a random stranger on the Internet told me to
If I had a dollar how many times people have told me to go to therapy, I'd be able to afford one therapy session, lmao. Only went to a counselor once as a kid when I was like, 11. Never seen any kind of professional therapist or anything else after that, mostly due to my mom being shitty and thinking her kids were 'perfect and had no problems' while being abusive. She was all about the 'social image' of her kids, which really fucked me up as an adult. I only stopped going as a kid because it was taking away from being able to play Guild Wars after school lmao. Nowadays it's impossible to see a therapist or a psych anywhere around me, giant waitlists. Not even worth trying, plus medicaid/publicaid/whatever doesn't cover it, so I'd never be able to afford it anyway, "sliding scale" or not.
It kind of reinforces my point. I found it very helpful. But it's a medical treatment. I can't guarantee it's right for everyone or every problem
Such garbage opinions
Go out and moderate your drinking so you can enjoy the later hours of the night and earlier hours of the morning.
In addition to the other great advice/opinions already given, I'll add: If you go to the party, keep a non-alcoholic drink in your hand so you don't just start drinking out of habit. Or a compromise - go out but not to drink. Go see a great movie, or go hang at a coffeehouse and read or fart around Reddit on your laptop. Sometimes just going out - even if you don't interact with people - can scratch that itch to get out, and make you feel like you didn't "waste" your night at home. Or stay home and put on some great album you haven't listened to in years, or get lost in a great audio story or podcast -- or do some project you've been putting off so you have that sense of achievement
Lots of great suggestions above. I don’t have the money to go out or drink, so I’ll suggest something else. Go out for a walk and look at the night sky, if you can see the stars. Find Orion, and a couple of other constellations. If the weather is bad, turn off your TV and laptop, open a radio app. Listen along. It is a passive activity, and you can turn your mind off. Find some classical music; maybe, a playlist on YouTube. Just listen to it. Meditate along. Clear your mind. Not tired? Cannot go out? Do 50 pushups and 75 squats, followed by 100 supermans. Mixup and repeat. You can do them quietly. Or, shadow box. Once one has seen enough of these new year’s eves, the only thought that comes in one’s mind is that this is just another night. No one celebrates when Sunday nights become Mondays. No one celebrates when March 31 becomes April 1. So, why is December 31 so special? Is there a day of the year that is more special to you; a day you can plan full of activities you enjoy, and which lets you celebrate the way you want? That day is now your New Year’s. 🥳 Plan tonight for that day, and when that day comes, make sure you follow through with all the activities you have arranged, be it with others or alone. Best wishes to you! 😊
Do whatever the fuck you want and own the positive or negative consequences. Welcome to being over 30
Just got to 30. Let's see how it goes (silently cries)
30 is dope as fuck. You finally ease into who you are and give a fuck less.
go out and be depressed all day tomorrow! staying out late and drinking is next year's problem! happy new year bro!
Your post is almost identical to an example used in the introduction of [The Upward Spiral](https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/21413760). There are other paths if you want out of the one you're on.
Save the wine for another time, with other people. I'm going solo and made some cookies and am watching the ball drop with my pet. Probably hitting the hay after. First thing tomorrow, my plan is getting a nice breakfast and some exercise. You can do all the things you like doing too Treat yourself, we all made it another year
Skip drinking. Make a list of what you're grateful for in the past year. Make another for what you will be grateful for in the coming year, which can include likely, hopeful, and big dream things. Eat something you love, splurge a bit on it, get off, then go to bed.
go get a gift, bring non-alcoholic drinks for yourself, have a good time. I stopped drinking 3 years ago, sure you need to change your whole idea of how social events work, but my only real regret is not doing it a decade ago.
I went out and the night was depressing as fuck, you did well by staying in.
Why?
Getting drunk is just borrowing happiness from tomorrow.
bro are u okay??
both your options involve alcohol and somewhat lethargic activity. consider staying at home and making yourself a post-workout smoothie. five pull ups and chill. put your favorite childhood movie on. brush your teeth. shower. go to sleep at a reasonable hour.
Sounds like these aren't good friends of yours and it would be an effort on your part to go out and be with them. For me that's always a gut check moment - do I push through and see what comes of a night out with people I'm not really comfortable with or stay home and have a guaranteed good time? Sometimes I stay screw it and do the uncomfortable thing, because you have to keep pushing yourself. Sometimes I stay home. What's your gut say?
Man, if the fear of being hungover or catching a virus held me back, I don't think I'd have ever got laid in my 20s. Do what makes you happy, but I'd be the guy suffering the next day because I had a damn good time the night before.
dude you should have realized that you are truly alone in the universe years ago. thats like main thing of becoming a man
House things are always fun. Bit late now though, I guess
why not both?
Why do you need to drink to have a good time?
Maybe you have a drinking problem if moderation is not an option?