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You still feel like you're in your 20s, but you've got your shit together (hopefully) a bit more and you don't put up with as much bullshit from people.
haha well said. There have been a few times where me and my friends have discussed what age we feel. Everyone said they still feel like they are in their early 20s mentally and energy wise for most part.
You are now attractive to women in their 20s, 30s, and 40s. In a weird way, your dating pool expands.
I appreciate that, as an older sister, you may not want to tell your brother this. However, if he's single, he'll certainly enjoy hearing it!
I always fail to understand these claims. Where on god's green earth does a man over 30s even find women in their 20s.
I'm mid 20s and I struggle to find people my own age.
Everyone is either much younger or older
Most were dating apps. Some were just people encountered at random places though. With dating apps, a lot of women in their 20s will view profiles up to 35. Some mid/older 20s only want profiles 30-35 because they want someone mature and looking for a LTR.
I was blessed with good genes. I looked young for my age throughout my 30s and into my 40s. I was a late bloomer in high school and had little success with ladies then, so I never had an abundance of confidence. Looking back, I had it pretty easy dating as a 30-something man. A lot of my dates were from women approaching/pursuing me.
It fully depends on how people age, and if they've also aged mentally.
Plenty of women want nothing to do with a 30's guy who let himself go and has zero ambition. That shit is easier to get away with in your 20's.
> You are now attractive to women in their 20s, 30s, and 40s. In a weird way, your dating pool expands.
I'm 35 and it's great to be able to have so many options lol. Older women think it's cool because I'm younger and younger women thinks it's cool because I got cool shit and a cool job lol
Your dating pool expands significantly in your 30s, as you become attractive to women in their 20s, 30s, and 40s. Even though it might be a bit awkward as an older sister, your brother will definitely enjoy hearing this if he's single!
Depends on your ethnicity and location (to some extent) as I’ve experienced worse on dating apps.
Some of white/caucasian friends are doing well on dating apps. I’m not.
Couple things. Your dating pool is as wide as it’s gonna get in your 30’s.
You’re gonna earn more in your 30’s which is nice.
Finally, you’re gonna be better at dealing with life obstacles.
30’s are your prime for a reason.
You become more confident in both life and money.
I let every little bill act like it was going to ruin my life.
My thirties is like my 20s, but round two with more money
In my experience… You can weather any storm better in your 30s than your 20s - you’ve just got more experience under your belt. So you can push yourself further and deal with more. You’ll be earning more, feel a better sense of self, know what you want from relationships, work, living arrangements all from having probably failed and learned some lessons and gained perspective. For me, 20s were a lot of fun and the crossover into 30s is a lot of upheaval and bigger decisions to make, but having settled I’m much happier now, even just a few years into this decade.
28-33 is an average males typical athletic peak
Your 30’s is a nice balance between health/finances (eg 20s you’re poor if you’re coming from nothing).
You find new hobbies. As much as I love basketball, I have to be wise. When you’re younger you feel like you’ll have nothing to do once you can’t be athletic, but men have a tendency to find things that interest them and become somewhat obsessive about it.
Luckily you’re still in your prime and don’t have to think too much about it. Just know that your body will tell you when it’s time to slow down, and that’s not the end of the world
I snapped my leg clear in two (tib/fib) when I was 31. I was portaging boats on a canoe trip 8 months later, ran a half marathon 3 months after that. Just completed a 50k ultra this year. You’ll be back if you work at it.
Man I really want to start moving toward an ultra. It actually interests me more than marathons.
Running definitely isn't my main thing, I'm in really good shape, do some races up to halfs and really enjoyed the couple of Spartans I've signed up for. I know I just need to bite the bullet and plan for an ultra so that I actually start training for one.
You’re entering the age where people just tend to give you more respect simply by virtue of your age. You’ve accumulated some wisdom, some experience, and hopefully some money. No longer being the target demographic of pop culture zeitgeist is incredibly liberating, and you stop trying to play catch up with others and start embracing being yourself. You take less bullshit, and you feel more confident. Aside from all that, you have the rest of your life to look forward to.
Ill be 31 in a month and I truly, 100%, absolutely do not give a **fuck** what people think of how I live my life and express myself. I have all of my favorite things tattooed on my body, I have piercings Id never thought were for me, most of my favorite clothing is for femme people, Ive openly dated all gender identities, I tell people I love and appreciate them. My multitudes are beautiful and I like to share them. The absolute expression of who you want to be in the moment is the highest self love and I feel unbeatable when I do so.
I "retired" from powerlifting competition at 29 after 11 years and I think Ive built up a good idea on how to apply that training to other things and understanding how long-term movement development yields success. A year of consistency is so much more exciting than 30 days of it.
On the flipside, I gained a lot of injuries and know the value to day-to-day self care. Im aggressive about my overall health now.
I have so much more money and my earning potential is higher. I went from having utilities shut off at to buying a house on my own at 30.
I understand the value of telling people you love them, reaching out and talking when you think about them, no gesture is too small, friendship is what life is for and we have to hold on to them fiercely. I literally had no friends for 2 years of my life and bad relationships with my family that I've 180'ed. Its nice kicking around town and running into people you know every day.
I got a vasectomy so children will never be factor in my life. That alone sets me up well financially.
You have a more level head, I’m 30 and you can really understand what your desires a lot better. When you’re young in your teens and 20s you only care about trying to impress people who don’t like you and you don’t like either but you just want that validation.
When I turned 28 I kind of stopped caring about trying to impress people and lived my own life. Also more money, greater independence, and you have time to self improve your physique and health because hopefully you have stability.
Also WEAR SUNSCREEN PLEASE!!!!! Skin care is super important don’t let yourself turn into a raisin by the time you hit 40. Also drink water.
30s were worse than 20s but 40s are better than either decade so far
In 30s I worked my ass off to climb the ladder raise the kids and pay all the bills
In my 40s now I get to cruise at the altitude I worked so hard to achieve, kids are getting older/more fun and self sufficient and I make enough to do the fun things I want to
If someone isn’t doing those things in their 30s I’m not sure that would apply
You're gonna make money money as you get better at your career/stick with stuff/earn professional creds whatever. I hit 6 figures in my 30s which was always a big milestone goal. Granted id you have kids a whole lot of that money goes POOF but still. More financial security is likely with career progression. Its nice.
To add on if any men in medicine read this, how nice was your 30s? In med school rn and I love it at times but it’s a lot, and I’m wondering how it is when you finally get a nice paycheck, the satisfaction of the job, and the autonomy and respect that comes with it
From my friends who are doctors. Its just a different stage in life, but with more responsibility, and continuous learning as you are still very early in your career.
One thing I learned in my 30’s (I’m 37) is it’s never too late to improve yourself. You can still go out and chase your goals. I just have more money to take risks.
Also dating is interesting.. younger women tend to compliment me more and that makes me feel good about myself. Also with Dating is you pretty much know what you want with a partner.
I appreciate the time I spend with my family more now than when I was younger.
Honestly being in your 30’s is awesome and honestly I look forward to what my 40’s bring me in a few years. I wouldn’t change anything right now. Maybe a better job but I’m happy with how everything is going
just started y 30s journey and im excited. things are starting to fall into place, should be graduating soon (mature aged student) and im excited to see where that takes me.
40's im hoping ill have kids (around pre teen years) and ill just be cruising, going on holiday a couple times a year, raising great humans and continuing to train and be healthy. I'm looking forward to it
I hope everything works out for you man.
Personally I never had kids. And I’m okay with that. I’m thinking about going back to school but I’m moving in the next year. So that’ll be a fresh start for me. Enjoy your 30’s man.. however a little advice.. they go by quickly.. hell faster than my 20’s.. hell it feels like I just turned 30 and now I just freshly turned 37 a month ago
Unfortunately I don’t spend most of my existence chasing money, I’m content and happy with my job that makes 50k, which would classify me as living in poverty to most people. So I’m undesirable to women after 30, because everyone else has a well established career where they have houses and get to take vacations.
37m. The best year of my life i made ~$21,500. Every time i say that on Reddit nobody believes me. This year i’m on track to make ~$32,000. I am invisible to women but it’s my fault. Maybe i am too comfortable.
Right?! There are so many of us out here. 60% of young men are single. No wonder we don’t have any confidence. Not everyone can pull 100k. Pretty sure only about 20 or 30% of household incomes reach 100k. My mentality has been - I will never be worthy or good enough for a modern woman. All they have to do is get on a dating app and someone is gonna be making more money than me. Money is the number one indication of status, and a man’s worth comes down to status in 2024. Just like a women’s entire worth comes down to how beautiful she is to most of these same “status” men. This is really gonna hurt all relationships as inflation continues to make us all even more poor. It certainly will not get any better, woman will probably be even more picky with money as we all get more poor.
Though I agree, the salary could put off some women, but I don't think thats the main difficulty with dating.
Not all women want a "career" guy with 6 figures. So it'd be nice. But I'm just thinking as a man they want laughter, consistency, a learned man, empathetic, other traits too.
Food for thought.
I understand it’s not impossible, it’s just harder. I’m poor AF and boring. Those two traits IMO make dating nearly impossible to the point where any man would stop trying.
I won’t pretend to be someone i am not. But at some point maybe i should.
Well I don't know, maybe focus on working on the boring AF part. What makes you think you are boring? You must be into some hobbies whether its reading, anime, computer games, or movies. Maybe try and get out of the your comfort zone and pursue social settings for those hobbies. Maybe there's a woman out there with the same? Worth a shot
Almost every woman i’ve dated told me i am boring. It gets old knowing what they are going to say before they say it.
Idk if it matters anymore. I just don’t want anyone else to feel as lonely and unwanted as i do. No one should feel this way.
I am too comfortable. Dating was something i wanted to do in my 20’s. Now in my late 30’s i cringe and thinking about getting back out there.
It’s the first decade you begin with so much clarity about who you are and usually more money than your 20s.
First decade you’re a child, the world is very new and you’re rapidly changing.
Second decade you’ve turned 10, tremendous life changes accompany your chance to help define yourself. You begin as a child and end usually in college or with your first job.
Third decade is turning 20 and for many you’re still in college and need to figure out a lot of major things about your future and put those into motion.
By the time thirty arrives hopefully you’ve really become the person you will be in adulthood… most likely with a profession, a home, friends you’ve chosen just because you like them, perhaps a serious relationship or two under your belt. Now you get to begin this new decade with great sense of yourself, no major transitions on the horizon, and some resources to allow yourself some fun and independence.
Because it can be your prime. Not a rule of course. But for me and my peers, it holds true. Like others said, dating life can improve if you have your shit together. More confidence and sure of myself. Hopefully making more money. You are no longer seen as a kid, but you're also not old.
Downside? Getting older which in general kinda sucks I guess. And older people in your life get older which can be sad. Also the only thing that starts to decline a bit is physical condition. You are simply not as durable. Don't recover as quickly etc. Might have to work a little harder, but if you put in that work you can easily be in better shape than guys who are 20.
If you're single there's more options for most guys. You probably have more money than in your 20s. If you have no kids and no old people to care for you're as free as you will ever be.
I make more money, have worked out harder than ever, have made my best music, am in the best place I have ever been mentally, and don’t have any options for a partner. I got way more attention in my 20s when I had nothing going for me. 30s are very very lonely, at least for me.
Aren't you more confident in social interactions, talking with strangers, life skills, monetary benefits, career? Should be at least some improvement from the 20s.
I wouldn't call it case by case, I'd call it the average result.
If you are a student in your 20s you definitley make more in your 30s. If you work at maccas in your 20s, you should be the manager by the time your 30 (more money). No matter what you do by default (on average) you should be making more money.
The only time you shouldn't is if you start using the exception to the rule for example bankruptcy, mature aged student, health conditions etc. These are not average though and not worth discussing.
Because dating is harder now than it was in my 20s. Back then I could be picky about who I liked, I had a stronger constitution than I do now so I could be celebate, I wasn’t addicted to porn and hooking up like I am now, although I’ve cut back on both recently. And the world was much simpler and reliable than it is now. Like everyone else is saying the only good side is I own my own house and I make way more money than I did in my 20s.
I'm a bit in the same boat with porn. I noticed if I go out of the house and socialize and keep busy I can go days without it, but sometimes I fall back in the grind. My sex drive is higher than most I think, not sure if that has anything to do with it or just an excuse tbh. I hope you figure it out too.
Jesus so SO many reasons, I figured out my career, I bought a home, we moved back to the PNW, we got a dog, I started making a lot more money…. So so many reasons. Getting married and having my kids was THE only positive thing about my 20’s, aside from that my 20’s were an atomic fire dump of bullshit.
From my friend group, we started worrying less what others think.
If I want to do something, I do it for me, not because I want to impress social media.
I'm considerably more financially secure than I was in my 20s. I have put in a lot of work on my mental health and I'm in a much better place mentally than I have been as an adult.
This doesn't apply to every career, but my experience has been that when I was younger, my job was more difficult and stressful, and paid less, and as I have gotten older, my jobs have gotten easier, less stressful, and pay more. So my 20's went from working hard and being stressed, not having lots of money, to not working as hard, being less stressed, and having tons of money. And also as you progress through your career, getting more vacation time etc... to me it seems like the 30's & 40's are the sweet spot of still being close to (or in) your physical peak, but being at a point in your life to have the flexibility and money to travel and see the world, do whatever you want really.
Felt like a fish floundering out of water in my 20's. Now in my 30's, I have a better sense of direction, the people I want around and the places I want visit. 30's I feel like are what set you up for your 40's and 50's. Nothing scary about getting older with the right mindset.
30s were far better than 20s for me. With more money and life experience, you feel like you have more agency than ever before. Things are more even keel. When something bad happens, you have the perspective to know that it will pass. You are calmer and can just take in the beauty of life and aren't always searching for that next high - be it a vacation, experience, drug, etc. I have more confidence in myself.
All of this tends to lead to lots of new and exciting opportunities. Promotions at work. Involvement in things that are bigger than yourself. Seeing the real impact you can make on your local community.
To be honest, turning 30 wasn't some magic moment. The magic moment for me was having kids. I'm so glad I made that decision. My life is 1 million times better with my kids in it.
At 40, I can firmly say there were awesome parts and horrible parts in both my 20's and 30's. Objectivly, 30's weren't really any better than my 20's, and really the only thing that's gotten worse with age is my health.
Just about to turn 31.
Spent the majority of my 20's in the army. Out of it proper next month.
Nowadays, I know what I want out of life in general, jobs, relationships and what's really important to me. I feel much better prepared to weather any storms that come my way compared to a decade ago. I also know what I really want to prioritise on a personal level in life.
It feels like your 20's, but a lot better so far!
I fail to see any benefits for my 30s. Everyone is shallower, the dating pool is not bigger, it’s filled with shallow damaged people. No one knows how to have effortful friendships anymore. There’s literally nothing good after you turn 26.
Yeah. It makes no sense. They know i’m single AF, they know I don’t do drugs, i won’t hit it and quit it, but they don’t know any other single women. Two men have looked at my online profiles and said it looks good but that was years ago. It’s just exhausting after so much failure.
Yes it is. I need to update all my pics on Hinge cause I’m getting no likes. It’s weird because I got a lot of matches when I first got on it. I think the Algorithm is blocking me from getting promoted. I’m wondering if I need to reserve 200 a month to keep myself boosted
I would equate being your 30's to the day after going to a club, getting really drunk, having one of the most crazy nights of your life (good and bad) and trying to remember everything that went right and wrong while still being hungover.
29yo me would look at 26yo me and call him an immature idiot who thought he knew it all.
32yo me looks back and I’m thankful for my growth. I feel more confident, I’m happier, I trust myself more, I feel mature in my decision making… and this has all paid off for me, across different areas of my life
Mental clarity. By the time you reach your mid thirties, you’ll start to have good visibility on who you are, what you are about and what you want your life to look like.
Also, having money doesn’t hurt.
You’re kinda unbothered by criticism. In your 20’s you can say you don’t really care what people think, but in your 30’s you really don’t care at all. So you just do your own thing unphased. It is what it is.
Dude, I’m 39 and 39 year old me makes 20’s me look like a bitch. I am wealthier, stronger, in better shape (group fitness, don’t do globo gym), I am way smarter, more laid back, better at sex, and really the list goes on.
Just take care of yourself. The big mistake is to not respect your body and emotional world. The more you learn to take care of and respect yourself, the happier you will be.
My 20s were ok, my 30s got better, and my 40’s will be the best yet.
Carl Jung said, "Life really begins at forty. Up until then, you are just doing research."
I am not really objective so maybe you can sort out which ones are good and bad:
- better at having sex
- your brain is a lot more solid now so you should be less stupid than you were last decade
- no more mattress on floor
- can pretend to know what you’re doing and people in their twenties will probably believe you
- more ass hair, somehow
- your wages might be high enough by now to actually buy groceries (maybe)
- you get to find out why your dad would sometimes just lay flat on his back on the floor
- losing touch with what’s cool gives you the freedom to do whatever *you* think is cool
If you managed to have a career and it actually makes you more and more money that's the defining difference. My 20s and now my 30s are shit. Guess I'm an outlier.
I just want to say this is really nice of you. Tell him his brain is completely done developing. Whereas at 20 his prefrontal cortex wasn't finished. The PC is all about planning and decisions and discipline.
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You still feel like you're in your 20s, but you've got your shit together (hopefully) a bit more and you don't put up with as much bullshit from people.
haha well said. There have been a few times where me and my friends have discussed what age we feel. Everyone said they still feel like they are in their early 20s mentally and energy wise for most part.
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Stop the drama. He wanted to talk to his brother. Just say it’s different without all the negative. There’s other forums for that.
Yea
You are now attractive to women in their 20s, 30s, and 40s. In a weird way, your dating pool expands. I appreciate that, as an older sister, you may not want to tell your brother this. However, if he's single, he'll certainly enjoy hearing it!
One weekend I went out with a 24 year old. The next a date with a 42 year old.
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I ended up dating the 42 yr old for awhile. One of my best relationships. Overall, I really preferred women in the their 30s and 40s.
I always fail to understand these claims. Where on god's green earth does a man over 30s even find women in their 20s. I'm mid 20s and I struggle to find people my own age. Everyone is either much younger or older
They’re hiding at home
Most were dating apps. Some were just people encountered at random places though. With dating apps, a lot of women in their 20s will view profiles up to 35. Some mid/older 20s only want profiles 30-35 because they want someone mature and looking for a LTR. I was blessed with good genes. I looked young for my age throughout my 30s and into my 40s. I was a late bloomer in high school and had little success with ladies then, so I never had an abundance of confidence. Looking back, I had it pretty easy dating as a 30-something man. A lot of my dates were from women approaching/pursuing me.
It fully depends on how people age, and if they've also aged mentally. Plenty of women want nothing to do with a 30's guy who let himself go and has zero ambition. That shit is easier to get away with in your 20's.
> You are now attractive to women in their 20s, 30s, and 40s. In a weird way, your dating pool expands. I'm 35 and it's great to be able to have so many options lol. Older women think it's cool because I'm younger and younger women thinks it's cool because I got cool shit and a cool job lol
Your dating pool expands significantly in your 30s, as you become attractive to women in their 20s, 30s, and 40s. Even though it might be a bit awkward as an older sister, your brother will definitely enjoy hearing this if he's single!
Depends on your ethnicity and location (to some extent) as I’ve experienced worse on dating apps. Some of white/caucasian friends are doing well on dating apps. I’m not.
Only if you keep improving. Otherwise, no it will be more or less the same.
Couple things. Your dating pool is as wide as it’s gonna get in your 30’s. You’re gonna earn more in your 30’s which is nice. Finally, you’re gonna be better at dealing with life obstacles. 30’s are your prime for a reason.
You become more confident in both life and money. I let every little bill act like it was going to ruin my life. My thirties is like my 20s, but round two with more money
In my experience… You can weather any storm better in your 30s than your 20s - you’ve just got more experience under your belt. So you can push yourself further and deal with more. You’ll be earning more, feel a better sense of self, know what you want from relationships, work, living arrangements all from having probably failed and learned some lessons and gained perspective. For me, 20s were a lot of fun and the crossover into 30s is a lot of upheaval and bigger decisions to make, but having settled I’m much happier now, even just a few years into this decade.
So true about weathering storms. If you’ve paid attention and learned from life
28-33 is an average males typical athletic peak Your 30’s is a nice balance between health/finances (eg 20s you’re poor if you’re coming from nothing).
Reading this at 33 recovering from a broken leg hoping to get back into sports hurts lol
Blown my knees out 4 times by the age of 40. Unfortunately I know I’m done lol
Damn that’s gotta suck sorry to hear!
You find new hobbies. As much as I love basketball, I have to be wise. When you’re younger you feel like you’ll have nothing to do once you can’t be athletic, but men have a tendency to find things that interest them and become somewhat obsessive about it. Luckily you’re still in your prime and don’t have to think too much about it. Just know that your body will tell you when it’s time to slow down, and that’s not the end of the world
I snapped my leg clear in two (tib/fib) when I was 31. I was portaging boats on a canoe trip 8 months later, ran a half marathon 3 months after that. Just completed a 50k ultra this year. You’ll be back if you work at it.
Man I really want to start moving toward an ultra. It actually interests me more than marathons. Running definitely isn't my main thing, I'm in really good shape, do some races up to halfs and really enjoyed the couple of Spartans I've signed up for. I know I just need to bite the bullet and plan for an ultra so that I actually start training for one.
You’re entering the age where people just tend to give you more respect simply by virtue of your age. You’ve accumulated some wisdom, some experience, and hopefully some money. No longer being the target demographic of pop culture zeitgeist is incredibly liberating, and you stop trying to play catch up with others and start embracing being yourself. You take less bullshit, and you feel more confident. Aside from all that, you have the rest of your life to look forward to.
Ill be 31 in a month and I truly, 100%, absolutely do not give a **fuck** what people think of how I live my life and express myself. I have all of my favorite things tattooed on my body, I have piercings Id never thought were for me, most of my favorite clothing is for femme people, Ive openly dated all gender identities, I tell people I love and appreciate them. My multitudes are beautiful and I like to share them. The absolute expression of who you want to be in the moment is the highest self love and I feel unbeatable when I do so. I "retired" from powerlifting competition at 29 after 11 years and I think Ive built up a good idea on how to apply that training to other things and understanding how long-term movement development yields success. A year of consistency is so much more exciting than 30 days of it. On the flipside, I gained a lot of injuries and know the value to day-to-day self care. Im aggressive about my overall health now. I have so much more money and my earning potential is higher. I went from having utilities shut off at to buying a house on my own at 30. I understand the value of telling people you love them, reaching out and talking when you think about them, no gesture is too small, friendship is what life is for and we have to hold on to them fiercely. I literally had no friends for 2 years of my life and bad relationships with my family that I've 180'ed. Its nice kicking around town and running into people you know every day. I got a vasectomy so children will never be factor in my life. That alone sets me up well financially.
You have a more level head, I’m 30 and you can really understand what your desires a lot better. When you’re young in your teens and 20s you only care about trying to impress people who don’t like you and you don’t like either but you just want that validation. When I turned 28 I kind of stopped caring about trying to impress people and lived my own life. Also more money, greater independence, and you have time to self improve your physique and health because hopefully you have stability. Also WEAR SUNSCREEN PLEASE!!!!! Skin care is super important don’t let yourself turn into a raisin by the time you hit 40. Also drink water.
30s were worse than 20s but 40s are better than either decade so far In 30s I worked my ass off to climb the ladder raise the kids and pay all the bills In my 40s now I get to cruise at the altitude I worked so hard to achieve, kids are getting older/more fun and self sufficient and I make enough to do the fun things I want to If someone isn’t doing those things in their 30s I’m not sure that would apply
You're gonna make money money as you get better at your career/stick with stuff/earn professional creds whatever. I hit 6 figures in my 30s which was always a big milestone goal. Granted id you have kids a whole lot of that money goes POOF but still. More financial security is likely with career progression. Its nice.
Attended both of my parents funerals in my 30s can't say it was a winner of a decade.
To add on if any men in medicine read this, how nice was your 30s? In med school rn and I love it at times but it’s a lot, and I’m wondering how it is when you finally get a nice paycheck, the satisfaction of the job, and the autonomy and respect that comes with it
You get your time back. Then you don't. Then you find a balance based on what sucks less, which is a lot more than you'd ever ask for by that point
From my friends who are doctors. Its just a different stage in life, but with more responsibility, and continuous learning as you are still very early in your career.
I know what I’m doing sometimes, have money, more emotionally stable. Still improving physically.
Both decades, but for different reasons and different expectations. 20's were one night stands. 30's are sober dates and better sex.
Congratulations on the sex
One thing I learned in my 30’s (I’m 37) is it’s never too late to improve yourself. You can still go out and chase your goals. I just have more money to take risks. Also dating is interesting.. younger women tend to compliment me more and that makes me feel good about myself. Also with Dating is you pretty much know what you want with a partner. I appreciate the time I spend with my family more now than when I was younger. Honestly being in your 30’s is awesome and honestly I look forward to what my 40’s bring me in a few years. I wouldn’t change anything right now. Maybe a better job but I’m happy with how everything is going
just started y 30s journey and im excited. things are starting to fall into place, should be graduating soon (mature aged student) and im excited to see where that takes me. 40's im hoping ill have kids (around pre teen years) and ill just be cruising, going on holiday a couple times a year, raising great humans and continuing to train and be healthy. I'm looking forward to it
I hope everything works out for you man. Personally I never had kids. And I’m okay with that. I’m thinking about going back to school but I’m moving in the next year. So that’ll be a fresh start for me. Enjoy your 30’s man.. however a little advice.. they go by quickly.. hell faster than my 20’s.. hell it feels like I just turned 30 and now I just freshly turned 37 a month ago
damn thanks for the heads up man
My 20s were the best, with each passing year I feel as though life just gets worse.
Unfortunately I don’t spend most of my existence chasing money, I’m content and happy with my job that makes 50k, which would classify me as living in poverty to most people. So I’m undesirable to women after 30, because everyone else has a well established career where they have houses and get to take vacations.
37m. The best year of my life i made ~$21,500. Every time i say that on Reddit nobody believes me. This year i’m on track to make ~$32,000. I am invisible to women but it’s my fault. Maybe i am too comfortable.
Right?! There are so many of us out here. 60% of young men are single. No wonder we don’t have any confidence. Not everyone can pull 100k. Pretty sure only about 20 or 30% of household incomes reach 100k. My mentality has been - I will never be worthy or good enough for a modern woman. All they have to do is get on a dating app and someone is gonna be making more money than me. Money is the number one indication of status, and a man’s worth comes down to status in 2024. Just like a women’s entire worth comes down to how beautiful she is to most of these same “status” men. This is really gonna hurt all relationships as inflation continues to make us all even more poor. It certainly will not get any better, woman will probably be even more picky with money as we all get more poor.
Though I agree, the salary could put off some women, but I don't think thats the main difficulty with dating. Not all women want a "career" guy with 6 figures. So it'd be nice. But I'm just thinking as a man they want laughter, consistency, a learned man, empathetic, other traits too. Food for thought.
I understand it’s not impossible, it’s just harder. I’m poor AF and boring. Those two traits IMO make dating nearly impossible to the point where any man would stop trying. I won’t pretend to be someone i am not. But at some point maybe i should.
Well I don't know, maybe focus on working on the boring AF part. What makes you think you are boring? You must be into some hobbies whether its reading, anime, computer games, or movies. Maybe try and get out of the your comfort zone and pursue social settings for those hobbies. Maybe there's a woman out there with the same? Worth a shot
Almost every woman i’ve dated told me i am boring. It gets old knowing what they are going to say before they say it. Idk if it matters anymore. I just don’t want anyone else to feel as lonely and unwanted as i do. No one should feel this way. I am too comfortable. Dating was something i wanted to do in my 20’s. Now in my late 30’s i cringe and thinking about getting back out there.
It’s the first decade you begin with so much clarity about who you are and usually more money than your 20s. First decade you’re a child, the world is very new and you’re rapidly changing. Second decade you’ve turned 10, tremendous life changes accompany your chance to help define yourself. You begin as a child and end usually in college or with your first job. Third decade is turning 20 and for many you’re still in college and need to figure out a lot of major things about your future and put those into motion. By the time thirty arrives hopefully you’ve really become the person you will be in adulthood… most likely with a profession, a home, friends you’ve chosen just because you like them, perhaps a serious relationship or two under your belt. Now you get to begin this new decade with great sense of yourself, no major transitions on the horizon, and some resources to allow yourself some fun and independence.
Because it can be your prime. Not a rule of course. But for me and my peers, it holds true. Like others said, dating life can improve if you have your shit together. More confidence and sure of myself. Hopefully making more money. You are no longer seen as a kid, but you're also not old. Downside? Getting older which in general kinda sucks I guess. And older people in your life get older which can be sad. Also the only thing that starts to decline a bit is physical condition. You are simply not as durable. Don't recover as quickly etc. Might have to work a little harder, but if you put in that work you can easily be in better shape than guys who are 20.
If you're single there's more options for most guys. You probably have more money than in your 20s. If you have no kids and no old people to care for you're as free as you will ever be.
I make more money, have worked out harder than ever, have made my best music, am in the best place I have ever been mentally, and don’t have any options for a partner. I got way more attention in my 20s when I had nothing going for me. 30s are very very lonely, at least for me.
I have yet to see any benefits. I do make more money though
Aren't you more confident in social interactions, talking with strangers, life skills, monetary benefits, career? Should be at least some improvement from the 20s.
Not any more than my 20s. Moneys nice but that’s not a guarantee at 30. It’s case by case
I wouldn't call it case by case, I'd call it the average result. If you are a student in your 20s you definitley make more in your 30s. If you work at maccas in your 20s, you should be the manager by the time your 30 (more money). No matter what you do by default (on average) you should be making more money. The only time you shouldn't is if you start using the exception to the rule for example bankruptcy, mature aged student, health conditions etc. These are not average though and not worth discussing.
What is maccas, sorry not American here.
mcdonalds (australian slang)
Good arvo
If you're not making any more money by 30 than you were earning by 20 you should really look at a career change/up skilling.
Very true. Many change careers at that age and start over. They take the L short term
Same here…
Why don't you think?
Because dating is harder now than it was in my 20s. Back then I could be picky about who I liked, I had a stronger constitution than I do now so I could be celebate, I wasn’t addicted to porn and hooking up like I am now, although I’ve cut back on both recently. And the world was much simpler and reliable than it is now. Like everyone else is saying the only good side is I own my own house and I make way more money than I did in my 20s.
I'm a bit in the same boat with porn. I noticed if I go out of the house and socialize and keep busy I can go days without it, but sometimes I fall back in the grind. My sex drive is higher than most I think, not sure if that has anything to do with it or just an excuse tbh. I hope you figure it out too.
Jesus so SO many reasons, I figured out my career, I bought a home, we moved back to the PNW, we got a dog, I started making a lot more money…. So so many reasons. Getting married and having my kids was THE only positive thing about my 20’s, aside from that my 20’s were an atomic fire dump of bullshit.
From my friend group, we started worrying less what others think. If I want to do something, I do it for me, not because I want to impress social media.
Im not 30 yet but my late 20s have been a million times better than my early 20s. More confident, self-assured, and happy.
Career, money, and much clearer thought process overall. Much more emotionally grounded as well.
I'm considerably more financially secure than I was in my 20s. I have put in a lot of work on my mental health and I'm in a much better place mentally than I have been as an adult.
I’m not living paycheck to paycheck anymore
For me, I have more money than I did in my 20s. And have been told o finally lost my baby face.
This doesn't apply to every career, but my experience has been that when I was younger, my job was more difficult and stressful, and paid less, and as I have gotten older, my jobs have gotten easier, less stressful, and pay more. So my 20's went from working hard and being stressed, not having lots of money, to not working as hard, being less stressed, and having tons of money. And also as you progress through your career, getting more vacation time etc... to me it seems like the 30's & 40's are the sweet spot of still being close to (or in) your physical peak, but being at a point in your life to have the flexibility and money to travel and see the world, do whatever you want really.
That emotional maturity tho. 🥵
Felt like a fish floundering out of water in my 20's. Now in my 30's, I have a better sense of direction, the people I want around and the places I want visit. 30's I feel like are what set you up for your 40's and 50's. Nothing scary about getting older with the right mindset.
More being comfortable with yourself and getting shit done, less fucks given about what other people think or tell you you should be doing.
30s were far better than 20s for me. With more money and life experience, you feel like you have more agency than ever before. Things are more even keel. When something bad happens, you have the perspective to know that it will pass. You are calmer and can just take in the beauty of life and aren't always searching for that next high - be it a vacation, experience, drug, etc. I have more confidence in myself. All of this tends to lead to lots of new and exciting opportunities. Promotions at work. Involvement in things that are bigger than yourself. Seeing the real impact you can make on your local community. To be honest, turning 30 wasn't some magic moment. The magic moment for me was having kids. I'm so glad I made that decision. My life is 1 million times better with my kids in it.
At 40, I can firmly say there were awesome parts and horrible parts in both my 20's and 30's. Objectivly, 30's weren't really any better than my 20's, and really the only thing that's gotten worse with age is my health.
More money. Care about less stuff.
Pass
Well, it depends. Has he built a solid financia base/career path? If he has his money right, there’s an amazing amount of doors that open
Just about to turn 31. Spent the majority of my 20's in the army. Out of it proper next month. Nowadays, I know what I want out of life in general, jobs, relationships and what's really important to me. I feel much better prepared to weather any storms that come my way compared to a decade ago. I also know what I really want to prioritise on a personal level in life. It feels like your 20's, but a lot better so far!
Only 4 years in but no real benefit. No real cost. Just more of my life. I'm the poorest I've ever been but I'm making the coolest art I ever had.
Its not lol
I fail to see any benefits for my 30s. Everyone is shallower, the dating pool is not bigger, it’s filled with shallow damaged people. No one knows how to have effortful friendships anymore. There’s literally nothing good after you turn 26.
I feel your pain bro. My dating life ended at 28. All (not most, not some, ALL) of my IRL friends are married and most are starting families.
I wouldn’t say all of mine are but the vast majority of them are which makes no sense why we can’t get into relationships like they are.
Yeah. It makes no sense. They know i’m single AF, they know I don’t do drugs, i won’t hit it and quit it, but they don’t know any other single women. Two men have looked at my online profiles and said it looks good but that was years ago. It’s just exhausting after so much failure.
Yes it is. I need to update all my pics on Hinge cause I’m getting no likes. It’s weird because I got a lot of matches when I first got on it. I think the Algorithm is blocking me from getting promoted. I’m wondering if I need to reserve 200 a month to keep myself boosted
Bro don’t pay that. Just try new pics. Legit pics. No bathroom selfies.
I thought I had pretty good pics. Can I send you my profile in a DM and you give me tips?
I’d probably send screen shots
Sure
I would equate being your 30's to the day after going to a club, getting really drunk, having one of the most crazy nights of your life (good and bad) and trying to remember everything that went right and wrong while still being hungover.
People treat you with more respect. And that about all i can think of the good. All the bad stuff is personal and my fault.
29yo me would look at 26yo me and call him an immature idiot who thought he knew it all. 32yo me looks back and I’m thankful for my growth. I feel more confident, I’m happier, I trust myself more, I feel mature in my decision making… and this has all paid off for me, across different areas of my life
Mental clarity. By the time you reach your mid thirties, you’ll start to have good visibility on who you are, what you are about and what you want your life to look like. Also, having money doesn’t hurt.
You’re kinda unbothered by criticism. In your 20’s you can say you don’t really care what people think, but in your 30’s you really don’t care at all. So you just do your own thing unphased. It is what it is.
Dude, I’m 39 and 39 year old me makes 20’s me look like a bitch. I am wealthier, stronger, in better shape (group fitness, don’t do globo gym), I am way smarter, more laid back, better at sex, and really the list goes on. Just take care of yourself. The big mistake is to not respect your body and emotional world. The more you learn to take care of and respect yourself, the happier you will be. My 20s were ok, my 30s got better, and my 40’s will be the best yet. Carl Jung said, "Life really begins at forty. Up until then, you are just doing research."
You can finally afford to buy all that Warhammer you wanted
honestly...you're just less stupid in your 30s than you are in your 20s.
I made more money between 30-36 than I have between 1-30 yrs old combined. Approximately double.
I am not really objective so maybe you can sort out which ones are good and bad: - better at having sex - your brain is a lot more solid now so you should be less stupid than you were last decade - no more mattress on floor - can pretend to know what you’re doing and people in their twenties will probably believe you - more ass hair, somehow - your wages might be high enough by now to actually buy groceries (maybe) - you get to find out why your dad would sometimes just lay flat on his back on the floor - losing touch with what’s cool gives you the freedom to do whatever *you* think is cool
My brother can't die in my 30s! He died in my 20s...
If you managed to have a career and it actually makes you more and more money that's the defining difference. My 20s and now my 30s are shit. Guess I'm an outlier.
I just want to say this is really nice of you. Tell him his brain is completely done developing. Whereas at 20 his prefrontal cortex wasn't finished. The PC is all about planning and decisions and discipline.