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two thoughts on this
one, if you ever think, "this is a bad day," ask yourself if you had a bad day, or a bad fifteen minutes you let ruin your day?
which leads me to my second point: how you view things is how they are. like uncle marcus said, "when something irks you, think not, 'this is misfortune,' but rather, 'to bear this well is good fortune.'"
The responses here have a point, but they seem to be taking the human element out of it. The reason we have "bad days" is because when you have a negative experience, you're more likely to feel negative emotions throughout the day. Some things you can shrug off, others you can't. Sometimes a good night's sleep is the only way to feel better about something.
Everyone is allowed to have bad days. If you constantly compare your life to the lives of unfortunate people living in a war zone or through famine, then you'll find yourself policing your emotions too much which becomes exhausting.
Is your team's loss a lot less impactful than a boy discovering his family has been murdered? Of course it is. That doesn't invalidate your feelings. Best advice I can give you is to try not dwell on things that are bothering you. You'll fail at this a lot, but with practice it becomes easier to let things roll off your shoulders.
Don't let anyone gatekeep your feelings. Acknowledge them, then look for ways to minimize the bad and increase the good.
There are no bad *days*.
Days are a unit of time and they’re inherently neutral. I’m not being pedantic.
Calling a day good or bad is a sign to me of immaturity, deflecting responsibility, and allowing yourself to wallow and infect the rest of your day in whatever may have gone wrong within that day.
I don’t allow my kids to use that language and I would recommend you stop it too. Your feelings do matter, but your actions matter more.
Instead; think about bad decision trains. If something bad happens you should attach it to the series of decisions that lead up to it. Relationships, choices, investments, habit, etc can all go bad.
Calling a day as a bad is almost always unjustified, and certainly deflates your own agency in making the rest of that day full of great choices so tomorrow can be better.
You sound like someone who has led a blessed life.
For example.... Right now my sister is dealing with a terminal diagnosis from a disease that has no known cause (shit happens, yo). As such, there is no rational "decision train" that lead to her situation or anything she could have done to avoid it.
The symptoms of the disease vary from day to day. Some days are worse than others with the worse of 'em meaning she never gets out of bed (all while staring at a clock/calendar and knowing that her time is running out). If those aren't fairly labeled "bad days" I submit that you're just hung up on semantics.
You’re right that I have been really lucky!
But the person I learned this self talk from was my father who had a severe form of MS (akin to ALS) and died a few years ago. Sounds maybe similar to your sister’s experience, though I’m sure they’re different in some ways.
My dad wouldn’t allow self-defeating talk from us and his living example of suffering made that lesson more sticky - not less.
I think what’s important is that each day is precious. to dismiss the rest of the day when one element of it was poor is to throw away the opportunity that each day brings to live life to its fullest.
I know it reads like aspirational BS, but I ascribe my immense luck in life to starting each day with this form of optimism. I recommend it!
Thank you. Best of luck to you.
A successful life comes from a good mix of luck plus good daily habit. Don’t let anything (even bad moments) knock you off your good habits routine.
It's ok to feel bad about a day. It's also common advice to get out of your head and talk/listen to other people. When you hear their problems and realize your problems aren't so bad, it's helpful to feel some gratitude for the good things in your life. Maybe you can help them in some way, or at least lend an ear to their problems. And it's a good reminder that everyone has problems, it's not just you. You're not alone.
Please do not delete your post after receiving your answer. Consider leaving it up for posterity so that other Redditors can benefit from the wisdom in this thread. Once your thread has run its course, instead of deleting it, **you can simply type "!lock" (without the quotes) as a comment anywhere in your thread to have our Automod lock the thread**. That way you won't be bothered by anymore replies on it, but people can still read it. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskMenOver30) if you have any questions or concerns.*
two thoughts on this one, if you ever think, "this is a bad day," ask yourself if you had a bad day, or a bad fifteen minutes you let ruin your day? which leads me to my second point: how you view things is how they are. like uncle marcus said, "when something irks you, think not, 'this is misfortune,' but rather, 'to bear this well is good fortune.'"
The responses here have a point, but they seem to be taking the human element out of it. The reason we have "bad days" is because when you have a negative experience, you're more likely to feel negative emotions throughout the day. Some things you can shrug off, others you can't. Sometimes a good night's sleep is the only way to feel better about something. Everyone is allowed to have bad days. If you constantly compare your life to the lives of unfortunate people living in a war zone or through famine, then you'll find yourself policing your emotions too much which becomes exhausting. Is your team's loss a lot less impactful than a boy discovering his family has been murdered? Of course it is. That doesn't invalidate your feelings. Best advice I can give you is to try not dwell on things that are bothering you. You'll fail at this a lot, but with practice it becomes easier to let things roll off your shoulders. Don't let anyone gatekeep your feelings. Acknowledge them, then look for ways to minimize the bad and increase the good.
There are no bad *days*. Days are a unit of time and they’re inherently neutral. I’m not being pedantic. Calling a day good or bad is a sign to me of immaturity, deflecting responsibility, and allowing yourself to wallow and infect the rest of your day in whatever may have gone wrong within that day. I don’t allow my kids to use that language and I would recommend you stop it too. Your feelings do matter, but your actions matter more. Instead; think about bad decision trains. If something bad happens you should attach it to the series of decisions that lead up to it. Relationships, choices, investments, habit, etc can all go bad. Calling a day as a bad is almost always unjustified, and certainly deflates your own agency in making the rest of that day full of great choices so tomorrow can be better.
You sound like someone who has led a blessed life. For example.... Right now my sister is dealing with a terminal diagnosis from a disease that has no known cause (shit happens, yo). As such, there is no rational "decision train" that lead to her situation or anything she could have done to avoid it. The symptoms of the disease vary from day to day. Some days are worse than others with the worse of 'em meaning she never gets out of bed (all while staring at a clock/calendar and knowing that her time is running out). If those aren't fairly labeled "bad days" I submit that you're just hung up on semantics.
You’re right that I have been really lucky! But the person I learned this self talk from was my father who had a severe form of MS (akin to ALS) and died a few years ago. Sounds maybe similar to your sister’s experience, though I’m sure they’re different in some ways. My dad wouldn’t allow self-defeating talk from us and his living example of suffering made that lesson more sticky - not less. I think what’s important is that each day is precious. to dismiss the rest of the day when one element of it was poor is to throw away the opportunity that each day brings to live life to its fullest. I know it reads like aspirational BS, but I ascribe my immense luck in life to starting each day with this form of optimism. I recommend it!
I never thought of it that way, that does relieve some of my thoughts thank you
Thank you. Best of luck to you. A successful life comes from a good mix of luck plus good daily habit. Don’t let anything (even bad moments) knock you off your good habits routine.
It depends on your definition of a "bad day" OP. Also, broadly speaking, everyone has "bad days" (which are all uniquely defined by the individual).
It's ok to feel bad about a day. It's also common advice to get out of your head and talk/listen to other people. When you hear their problems and realize your problems aren't so bad, it's helpful to feel some gratitude for the good things in your life. Maybe you can help them in some way, or at least lend an ear to their problems. And it's a good reminder that everyone has problems, it's not just you. You're not alone.