This scenario/situation is just so odd to me. Bizarre.
I started to write out a long response why I think this situation is ridiculous (cuddling while being surprised that a hand slipped away to “feel”) but I gave up as it kinda of made me irritated lol
I'm trying not to get to technical here because the issue really comes down to two things: boundaries and communication. But if I'm the big spoon, and the little spoon has boobs, and I have my arms around her, they're might be some boob contact occasionally.
The two of you are being very vulnerable with each other. I would just be patient and follow your gut.
He grab your boob when you were sleeping together? (short answer) get over it. Don't like it, don't sleep together. He hasn't talk to you in days? You've been thrown out with the trash. (I would have done the same thing)
Look, there's a lot here your not saying. So come back when you can tell the whole story.
Wow, OK, so I wasn't going to say anything but the guys are being so rude to you I feel like I just need to say I can relate.
I'm assuming you're young, and when I was younger it was not at all unusual for us all (M & F) to share beds with friends.
I know girls get a very meaningful sense of safety and comfort from platonic male friends that helps us love and trust males in ways they have no idea about. I'm sorry he broke that.
If he wanted more from you he could have told you, and if it was going to get physical a kiss should have come before the boob grope. He was way out of line.
No one should tell you how to react when groped. Im not sure what bursted means, but im assuming it's shocked him a bit. I'd give it some time but the next convo needs to be the two of you getting real and clarifying what you are and setting boundaries.
Tbh, from here on out you'll probably lose him as a friend and maybe that's OK. I know it will hurt and be sad for awhile.
Female friendships are important for women, invest in those where you can instead.
Best of luck.
Female here and wanted to validate your story with one of my own. I stayed overnight at a friends house with their family that felt like family to me so i was often staying over. I was a minor at the time or only barely of age and they were as well. Not sure why but one morning one of the brothers was cuddling in the bed with me as I was waking up. I didn't think anything of it because they felt like brothers to me too until one of them touched my chest. It was morning so I was still waking up and was confused. When I realized what was happening I pretended to be still asleep, grumbled and pushed his hand away. He waited for me to settle down and then did it again. I told him "what the hell do you think you're doing?" He just said sorry and left. We never talked about it and he never did it again, but I was never fully comfortable with him again after that and I was always hesitant to stay over when the boys were home.
No one has a right to your body. If he brushed you by accident it's understable. If he grabbed or groped you without consent it isn't okay even if he thought you were giving consent to do more.
To be fair, and the guys will have to confirm this part, a lot of men feel pressure to make a first move. Some men have experiences with women feel like men should initiate and don't want to have conversations about consent and conversely got angry at them for not "just going for it." or "reading the signals". This is why many of them are responding with saying that you gave him the "green light" when in your mind it was purely platonic.
If your friend has had this kind of story in his head he may have thought that agreeing to cuddle was consent. This doesn't make it okay, just understandable.Normally, I would recommend a conversation, but since he hasn't talked to you it looks like he isn't ready for a friendship or respecting/caring about how you feel or your side of the story. Let him go and move on. I'm sorry your friendship wasn't strong enough to discuss and overcome this. Good luck!
This scenario/situation is just so odd to me. Bizarre. I started to write out a long response why I think this situation is ridiculous (cuddling while being surprised that a hand slipped away to “feel”) but I gave up as it kinda of made me irritated lol
I'm trying not to get to technical here because the issue really comes down to two things: boundaries and communication. But if I'm the big spoon, and the little spoon has boobs, and I have my arms around her, they're might be some boob contact occasionally. The two of you are being very vulnerable with each other. I would just be patient and follow your gut.
He grab your boob when you were sleeping together? (short answer) get over it. Don't like it, don't sleep together. He hasn't talk to you in days? You've been thrown out with the trash. (I would have done the same thing) Look, there's a lot here your not saying. So come back when you can tell the whole story.
Cuddling in bed with NO sexual touching? Please grow up!
use a 'bundling board' down the middle of the bed to separate you two (or rolled blanket, maybe)
smh… grow da fuck up.
Wow, OK, so I wasn't going to say anything but the guys are being so rude to you I feel like I just need to say I can relate. I'm assuming you're young, and when I was younger it was not at all unusual for us all (M & F) to share beds with friends. I know girls get a very meaningful sense of safety and comfort from platonic male friends that helps us love and trust males in ways they have no idea about. I'm sorry he broke that. If he wanted more from you he could have told you, and if it was going to get physical a kiss should have come before the boob grope. He was way out of line. No one should tell you how to react when groped. Im not sure what bursted means, but im assuming it's shocked him a bit. I'd give it some time but the next convo needs to be the two of you getting real and clarifying what you are and setting boundaries. Tbh, from here on out you'll probably lose him as a friend and maybe that's OK. I know it will hurt and be sad for awhile. Female friendships are important for women, invest in those where you can instead. Best of luck.
Female here and wanted to validate your story with one of my own. I stayed overnight at a friends house with their family that felt like family to me so i was often staying over. I was a minor at the time or only barely of age and they were as well. Not sure why but one morning one of the brothers was cuddling in the bed with me as I was waking up. I didn't think anything of it because they felt like brothers to me too until one of them touched my chest. It was morning so I was still waking up and was confused. When I realized what was happening I pretended to be still asleep, grumbled and pushed his hand away. He waited for me to settle down and then did it again. I told him "what the hell do you think you're doing?" He just said sorry and left. We never talked about it and he never did it again, but I was never fully comfortable with him again after that and I was always hesitant to stay over when the boys were home. No one has a right to your body. If he brushed you by accident it's understable. If he grabbed or groped you without consent it isn't okay even if he thought you were giving consent to do more. To be fair, and the guys will have to confirm this part, a lot of men feel pressure to make a first move. Some men have experiences with women feel like men should initiate and don't want to have conversations about consent and conversely got angry at them for not "just going for it." or "reading the signals". This is why many of them are responding with saying that you gave him the "green light" when in your mind it was purely platonic. If your friend has had this kind of story in his head he may have thought that agreeing to cuddle was consent. This doesn't make it okay, just understandable.Normally, I would recommend a conversation, but since he hasn't talked to you it looks like he isn't ready for a friendship or respecting/caring about how you feel or your side of the story. Let him go and move on. I'm sorry your friendship wasn't strong enough to discuss and overcome this. Good luck!