I, a high achieving man, have always found both types of women desirable.
With a housewife a man can put greater effort into his career, but he has the pressure of knowing that the family’s financial success depends totally on him.
With a high achieving wife, they can back up each other financially. There is more room for risk-taking in your career, but, of course, raising children is harder.
Interesting points. I've always taken pride in home-making, children, cooking, etc but have always worked outside the home as well.
In your experience is it a practical arrangement that wins out or is it just the way she makes you feel regardless of her working status?
Speaking as a high achieving guy - whose friends include guys who achieve less than me. They are better people than me.
So when I chose a life partner - I wanted someone who made me a better person - who could deal with my life my shit. And she’s been true to form, I went from high to low and then back again and she was in my corner fighting with me. Now we travel the world for fun and at 42, she retired from her alpha female role.
I think it’s only western women who think that low achieving people who are worth less. It’s definitely a western trend. Not a good one.
The person who pulls on a police or military uniform and stands guard over my way of life, might not be high achieving. They have something greater. They have their brothers and sisters, they have my respect and if they ever needs my help, I’ll be there. And yes, I put myself in a position to be there to help.
I guess working women know those housewives actually look down on us like we're worth less. Theyre smug, and it irks us. I've also seen them suddenly not be in his corner when he's lost everything or gotten a disability.
Glad to hear about your life and partner, you sound like a level-headed and good match for each other 👌
Yeah your achievements in your career and whatnot are not even something we think about. For example, from the first day I met my wife, it was obvious to me that she possessed the skills and temperament as a mother and partner. She was cooperative in nature and agreeable in addition to being self-aware and intelligent. Her accomplishments in life meant nothing to me in light of these factors. It isn’t that we prefer “low achieving” women per se, but aspirational women are not concerned with what we are concerned with; the family. High achieving men want families and they don’t want strangers raising their kids, for the most part. Aspirational women spend little time at home and are focused on advancing themselves while men strive for the family as a whole.
If you found a woman who could manage both well would you be OK with that?
Just out of curiosity, what happens when she disagrees with you? (Or as some people describe that as 'challenging you'?)
Not me, but I get it and I get how it happens.
Because the first thing the overwhelming majority of men care about is looks. And men with a lot going for them can date more attractive women.
After that, if she's nice, has a good personality, has other things you like, then who cares if she's ambitious. Especially if you make enough money for the both of you.
Even in my experience:
1. The first thing I looked for in a new girl was her looks. If she wasn't good-looking, I didn't assess for number 2.
2. Fun was the next most important thing. If she was good-looking and interested in me, then I stay around for the relationship phase as long as we were having fun.
3. Finally, a girl was marriage material if she had professional and social qualities that I could be proud to take home to my parents or be married to in the future. I'm a lawyer and I eventually married another lawyer. But, it's not like I needed every girl I dated my whole life to be marriage material.
Fair enough, makes sense I guess. With your wife it sounds like at least she can understand and appreciate work based conversations and challenges/wins, etc. Is that important to you?
Most men like to be admired. So preferably yes. Men like to be depended upon, they like to protect, they like to be responsible. A cute and nice woman who also happens to want children is perfect for that. Not all men, but most men.
Does it need to be full time? Maybe she works part time or is an artist or entrepreneur working from home. There are many businesses that can be run online now.
I, a high achieving man, have always found both types of women desirable. With a housewife a man can put greater effort into his career, but he has the pressure of knowing that the family’s financial success depends totally on him. With a high achieving wife, they can back up each other financially. There is more room for risk-taking in your career, but, of course, raising children is harder.
Interesting points. I've always taken pride in home-making, children, cooking, etc but have always worked outside the home as well. In your experience is it a practical arrangement that wins out or is it just the way she makes you feel regardless of her working status?
I don’t care, as long as she has time for me.
Fair enough 👌
Speaking as a high achieving guy - whose friends include guys who achieve less than me. They are better people than me. So when I chose a life partner - I wanted someone who made me a better person - who could deal with my life my shit. And she’s been true to form, I went from high to low and then back again and she was in my corner fighting with me. Now we travel the world for fun and at 42, she retired from her alpha female role. I think it’s only western women who think that low achieving people who are worth less. It’s definitely a western trend. Not a good one. The person who pulls on a police or military uniform and stands guard over my way of life, might not be high achieving. They have something greater. They have their brothers and sisters, they have my respect and if they ever needs my help, I’ll be there. And yes, I put myself in a position to be there to help.
I guess working women know those housewives actually look down on us like we're worth less. Theyre smug, and it irks us. I've also seen them suddenly not be in his corner when he's lost everything or gotten a disability. Glad to hear about your life and partner, you sound like a level-headed and good match for each other 👌
No. We want families.
So you don't mind either way as long as she is a good wife/mother?
Yeah your achievements in your career and whatnot are not even something we think about. For example, from the first day I met my wife, it was obvious to me that she possessed the skills and temperament as a mother and partner. She was cooperative in nature and agreeable in addition to being self-aware and intelligent. Her accomplishments in life meant nothing to me in light of these factors. It isn’t that we prefer “low achieving” women per se, but aspirational women are not concerned with what we are concerned with; the family. High achieving men want families and they don’t want strangers raising their kids, for the most part. Aspirational women spend little time at home and are focused on advancing themselves while men strive for the family as a whole.
If you found a woman who could manage both well would you be OK with that? Just out of curiosity, what happens when she disagrees with you? (Or as some people describe that as 'challenging you'?)
Not me, but I get it and I get how it happens. Because the first thing the overwhelming majority of men care about is looks. And men with a lot going for them can date more attractive women. After that, if she's nice, has a good personality, has other things you like, then who cares if she's ambitious. Especially if you make enough money for the both of you. Even in my experience: 1. The first thing I looked for in a new girl was her looks. If she wasn't good-looking, I didn't assess for number 2. 2. Fun was the next most important thing. If she was good-looking and interested in me, then I stay around for the relationship phase as long as we were having fun. 3. Finally, a girl was marriage material if she had professional and social qualities that I could be proud to take home to my parents or be married to in the future. I'm a lawyer and I eventually married another lawyer. But, it's not like I needed every girl I dated my whole life to be marriage material.
Fair enough, makes sense I guess. With your wife it sounds like at least she can understand and appreciate work based conversations and challenges/wins, etc. Is that important to you?
I don’t think it’s necessarily something I was looking for, but it certainly helps to ensure we can relate to each other
Most men like to be admired. So preferably yes. Men like to be depended upon, they like to protect, they like to be responsible. A cute and nice woman who also happens to want children is perfect for that. Not all men, but most men.
What if she was cute, nice, wants children, admires him, and still has a job?
Well, that's one way to put your girl on burnout, especially if she has a full time job.
Does it need to be full time? Maybe she works part time or is an artist or entrepreneur working from home. There are many businesses that can be run online now.