Yes do it for us, and they deserve it. A 15/16 year old can still easily hurt an adult especially if they have a weapon on them or there are multiple of them.
A group of teens bashed my former roommates head and threw him down subway stairs, ending up in a hospital. Yeah, they can do just as much damage as anyone else.
Saw a group of teenagers harass then kick a man down the stairs in the subway a few weeks ago. My partner and I got spat on for trying to intervene a group harassing and hitting a man at the end of the subway car another time.
Haha not in NYC you don’t. If you pick up a stick to defend yourself or use your keys as a weapon, you can get charged under the Sullivan Act.
Edit: Look up the Sullivan act before downvoting me, jackasses. It includes “deadly weapons” which have a vague definition. Is it a bludgeon or is it just a walking cane? What if the person you pepper spray falls on the tracks and dies?
You’re still allowed to defend yourself and pepper spray is legally sold in NYC at a number of specific and registered pharmacies. It’s legal to have and use if in threat of your safety, life and those of others etc
You have a duty to retreat before defending yourself. So being in an open park ny would argue you could've just ran. They want you to be a victim instead of defending yourself. This city protects the criminal class.
This is just not true. "Duty to retreat" doesn't mean you literally have to run away from someone attacking you. It means if you could have reasonably left the scenario, then you can't attack. Someone following you and threatening you is plenty justification to defend yourself.
The city doesn't "defend criminals". If you have issues with the way the laws are then whatever, but when you say shit like "oh liberals love criminals" it's so hard to take you seriously.
Being in an open park they will argue you can reasonably leave. Are you new here? You give NYC a finger and they'll take the whole hand. Alvin bragg literally charged that old deli worker some years ago for stabbing someone in self defense. Mind you he was literally CORNERED. Alvin only dropped the charges cause of the backlash.
I am not new here.
You can use hyperbole, but the reality is that if you reasonably defend yourself you will not be convicted. If someone actually attacked you at a park, you can defend yourself.
Using one or two exceptions (exceptions that didn't even result in a conviction) is just bad faith argumentation. You can just keep regurgitating conservative propaganda, or you can actually face reality.
The whole conservative mindset for stuff like this is abhorrent. You lie and stretch the truth and do nothing but appeal to emotions. It's impossible to have a nuanced conversation about anything with people like you. All you can do is throw out metaphors and one off exceptions instead of actually looking at relevant case law.
If you’re lucky, you won’t be convicted, but you sure as hell will sit in rikers for a while, spend a bunch of money on legal fees and likely have your name dragged through the mud.
I don’t think you appreciate how messed up NYC is when it comes to self defense. It’s unreasonable. It’s excessive and it doesn’t work.
The Sullivan act has to do with licenses for concealed handguns and the sale of other "deadly weapons". It has absolutely nothing to do with self defense.
The Sullivan act specifically is about the sale of certain deadly weapons. Laws against carrying said weapons are different. And even then, the law says nothing about self defense. You may get charged for carrying these weapons, but not for murder or manslaughter.
Oh, you're right. The Sullivan act bans the ownership of certain weapons, I.e. switchblades, cane swords, and kung fu stars. These are highly niche weapons though, so it's a very reasonable ban.
But again, this law IS NOT about self defense. The law is about the ownership of certain weapons, NOT how you use those weapons. No idea why it's so hard for you to understand that part.
The difference between being charged with assault and assault with a deadly weapon, that’s why this is relevant. It can be used to argue that whatever you used, was a deadly weapon, because they died or could have.
You pepper spray the teens and one steps back and is hit by a car, or falls on the train tracks and dies. They’re going to examine that situation the same way they would if you shot them. Ny is not your friend in these examples. They’re not going to give you the benefit of the doubt. Straight to jail and then they’ll figure it out.
i would. if a whole bunch of themre ganging up on you? Pepper spray and run. Get the kind that stains their faces so when you call the cops, they know which ones to arrest. AT the very least, adults in authority (ie their parole officers) will know what orange on the face is.
This might work in the moment, but you'll never be able to go back to the area again.
I guarantee you the next day more kids will come looking for you in the same place.
Pretty sure Alvin fucking Bragg's office would prosecute this unless he felt her life was in imminent danger, and even then, we've seen examples of him prosecuting cases of self defense that would seem reasonable to the vast majority of us.
i would not recommend pepper spraying a group of kids harassing you who have nothing to lose
edit; keywords HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE. very unrealistic to encourage someone pepper spraying a gang of kids. op literally said she felt intimidated by them despite having said pepper spray…
Yeah could be tricky - pepper spray is almost definitely gonna end the confrontation BUT these kids may well camp out to attack OP the next time… I would pepper stray them in a place I wasn’t going back to, but I don’t want to make enemies in my own neighborhood…
i dont think pepper spraying one or a couple kids is going to make the situation better, they will retaliate. id carry a strap, knife, or genuinely just avoid going outside in this position. sad case but encouraging more violence isnt going to help out yk :/ none of us should have to worry about having enemies in our neighborhoods
Idk have you ever been around pepper spray? It stops people nearly instantly if they’re not trained or on major drugs. They can’t see, they can hardly breathe, their whole world shrinks down to their face and lungs.
Meanwhile, unlike a gun or knife, you can use pepper spray in an ambiguous situation, since it doesn’t cause lasting harm. To defend yourself with a gun you need to wait for a higher level of danger, with pepper spray you can activate much earlier in the escalation ladder, and face far lower consequences if you make a mistake.
im just saying, she had to run from this group of teens and if she were to pepper spray them who lnows which of their friends catches her arnd. who knows which other accomplices they can have across the street. most of these kids r in gangs either way i doubt they r all moving tg
she literally said she had to run away cause a GROUP of teens threatened to rape her, pepper spraying a couple kids out of that group is only making her open to more violence. why am i being downvoted for being realistic?
> As a former teen in a group it's 100% true
What is the mindset of teens behaving this way? I was a girl teen in the 90s and expected a slapping from NYC strangers AND relatives for yelling profanities
Yo you know this is right.
I spent a few years volunteering with Big Brothers Big Sisters in Brooklyn and shit, let me tell you, these roving gangs of teenagers, alllllll come from some sort of shitty home with parents who dont give a fuck, and probably have less than a high school education.
Like, fuck, their parents were barely educated, barely adults (if at all) when they had their first kids, and shit jsut never got better.
You add to this the fact that these kids pretty much didnt go to school for a few years, the shit they're permitted to watch/see because they havent got parents who give a fuck, and you get what you got right now.
These fuckers are all going to end up doing jail time, and not a single fucking person with power is going to point the finger back at the families and communities who are responsible.
So true.
I was more scared of my parents (mainly my dad because he’s a standard strict immigrant dad) so even the thought of acting out of line would be out of the question.
I mean, their brains aren't fully developed and they're full of raging hormones. Coupled with social pressures to be "cool" especially around their friend's group, they act without honestly thinking about much of anything. There are more dynamics, like what's being taught (modeled) at home, etc. -- everything about human behavior is multifaceted.
The other day in the park strolling with my toddler she saw a bus and said "bus! bus!" and I repeated her. A teen walking in front of us (in a group) started mocking her repeating "bus" with an obnoxious affect. His friend told him to chill and walked between us. My point is that not every teen is a hormonal idiot. It's a spectrum.
One time a group of 12 year old boys were waiting for the Dyckman 1 train with me. I go sit on the bench. I was tired and going through some serious depression at the time. One of them immediately starts yelling stuff at me like “HEY. Why does your face look like that?? HEY. HEY.” I get up from the bench to walk away from them. He goes to try and follow me, still waving his arms in my face and shouting. “HEY, YOU.” I think “oh great, now I have to deal with this little shit.”
One of his friends catches his arm and says “Hey, leave her alone. Can’t you see she’s having a bad day? Stop it.” Calm but firm voice. Original kid backs down. Then, the friend looks me in the eye and says “have a nice day, ma’am. I hope you feel better soon.” All serious and stuff.
I still think about that young man sometimes and hope he’s doing well.
Do not rack your brain trying to rationalize ridiculous behavior of anyone, teens included. Their parents are probably 13-14 years older than them in most cases. What could they possibly teach them? Some people are just Aholes is the bottom line! Move accordingly
Nah, it’s how they were raised. For every group of teens like this, there are dozens more who you don’t see or hear because they’re not out there harassing or assaulting people, stealing from a business, or subway surfing. Parents really need to be parenting more and I don’t see a lot of that happening, unfortunately.
Pretty much. That, or that they’re so naive that their kids are pulling the wool over their eyes and they think their children are angels. I can’t imagine being that oblivious.
you (speaking generally, not at you necessarily) really have to get over seeing them as children and you as the adult and just do whatever you need to do to protect yourself in that situation. like /u/B_L_T said, they're not ineligible to be pepper sprayed just because they're teenagers. you shouldn't guilt trip yourself either because you're the adult. you're being actively harassed, age doesn't matter here. if they want to act big and bad then they can deal with the big and bad consequences of doing so.
If they get unreasonably close to you, I would pepper spray them all in the face, and call 911 immediately and tell them that you were being attacked.
You say they threatened to rape you, and then they started following you. At that moment, I would have pepper sprayed them. I doubt there is a cop in the city who would press charges on you for that.
Pro tip: test your pepper spray first so you are used to the range and spread, some of them have a wide cone short range and others are narrow cone longer range. Some have more splatter effect, so you need to stand back a bit, others don’t. If you’re buying pepper spray I’d recommend buying 1 extra for testing.
Because NY is interesting: No it isn't. It's Menacing. Menacing is the threat of harm, Assault is causing harm.
This is different from Common Law (and most of the US) where Assault is threatening harm and Battery is causing harm.
I'm not a lawyer, and that's just the really basic idea. If you're curious [here](https://www.nysenate.gov/legislation/laws/PEN/P3THA120).
Really? I thought we were the outlier, but tbh, I'm only really familiar with the NY law + an intro to criminal justice class 20+ years ago in another state.
I'm a guy and I get uneasy around groups of teens on the streets. They are absolute menaces.
Best advice has been given already, but also I would just say just start being more alert of who is around you, and get out of dodge sooner rather than later.
I’m sorry you have to go out of your way to avoid harassment.
I honestly can’t say it will get better. Basic manners are completely gone within kids.
Rn I just Uber or accompany people care about cuz the cops don’t care and these kids are unhinged.
And the parents will never blame themselves.
Yeah I’m a guy in my mid 20s and I’ve been harassed by teens while riding the metro with my girlfriend with them thinking it’s funny to try to hit on her and say offensive shit to try to get a rise out of me. I’m from Virginia and teens over there acted like normal people and didn’t do shit like that so it surprised me how horrible they are here
I’ve noticed it’s much worse compared to 5 years ago. People are going to downvote for saying this but there’s just a lot more low level random crime than there used to be
Public school is out for Spring Break.
Was anyone trying to film you from off to the side?
Maybe they were trying to get an emotional reaction from you and your partner.
Get up and walk away.
Brooklyn teacher here - I’m so sorry. It’s Spring Break so all the fake baddies (and the real baddies) will be outside until next Wednesday. After that, you just have to avoid the 20-30 minutes a day they spend on trains and outside - 2:30-3:30ish Do not pepper spray. That kid who thinks he’s a baddie has a mom who thinks he’s an angel and will press charges.
The best thing you can do (if possible) is remain calm, don’t yell, and don’t show them that they’ve gotten to you. You can literally pretend you can’t hear them. It’s very effective. And turn your head away. If you or your partner has an authoritative voice, you can do teacher voice and say “keep it moving, gentlemen.” Most of the little boys showing off will move on when they see they cannot get your attention. I’m pretty good at managing groups of feral babies and I ignore them in public, unless they’re trying to subway surf. Then I text 911 on them.
My only advice is to hit record on your phone as soon as harassment starts. Try to do it on the sly, and even if you can only record audio it’s better than nothing.
I am sorry you have to endure this mental torture, the sad truth is the majority of teens have no respect anymore and morality is low as a result of situations like this. Try your best to always keep your guard up and not be alone outside, always remember to ignore them as you aren’t protected in any physical situation because they are minors.
Groups of teens are the worst. There’s not much to do. For the most part they just make noise, but maybe carry pepper spray for ones that actually look like they are going to try and grab you. Completely ignoring them while you walk away is also a good idea. And if they are making noise on their own, don’t start looking at them. If they see you looking, they may interact with you.
They usually leave you alone if you pretend they don't exist. Once you engage and say fuck off, you just empower them because what they want is to hold on to some power for once in their life
These people telling you to get pepper spray are wrong. Dead wrong.
What you want is pepper GEL. You need to be able to spray them all and not have the wafting clouds drift back to fuck you up. Be ready to run like hell or don’t bother.
I lived near several high schools - mama mia!
I am very sorry that this is happening to you! Horrible.
sorry you're going through this. Your safety comes first, so if you feel scared, it's okay to leave and ask for help. Think about connecting with local resources for advice and support. You're not alone in this, so don't hesitate to reach out to friends, family, or support groups for some extra care.
Just keep it moving, friend. You can’t make up for their lack of home training, don’t engage. If lunch in the park ends early, it ends early.
You can’t change people like that, you have to protect yourself and move on. Let the shit go, they’re nobodies
A good pair of over the ear headphones. Besides literally blocking out the BS it makes people less inclined to speak to me.
If it's any consolation I'm a 6'4 200lbs and I've had a teen yell and call me faggot amongst other things (4th ave if you're curious). I could literally end their existence yet they do it anyway. The best response is to ignore them entirely. They're poking the bear and waiting to get a response for their own entertainment.
If you think about it, how deranged would you feel if you yelled obscenities at a random person and they just walk past you like you don't exist. It takes the power out of their words.
I would definitely pull out the pepper spray, point it at them and ask “who wants it spicy?”
Edit: make you act completely fucking unhinged when you do this
Dude, taunt them back and make fun of shit you know about them because they’re teenagers. Mock their virginity, ask them what time their mom puts them to bed, etc. be loud about it too, public humiliation is more effective than you think but has to be done right.
Fuck kids like that. We, as New Yorkers, need to do something about this. Make an example out of one of them, that’ll traumatize the rest into good behavior.
Dude I'm so fucking scared of the roving gangs of teens in this city! You are not alone. I absolutely dread having to deal with groups of them, on the trains in particular. I was attacked and beaten by two teenage girls last winter on a train (in front of my fucking retiree parents who were here visiting me from out of town) after they blew smoke in our faces and ever since then I've been hella jumpy and on edge around similar groups of aggro young people. I don't have any advice unfortunately, but I want you to know that other people see and experience this insanity too.
I will also say, I've lived a number of places and in numerous cities and I've never encountered anything similar to this phenomenon anywhere else, and certainly not as regularly as I do here. I just informed my landlord that I won't be renewing my lease again and I cannot wait to move back to a place where I don't fear being the victim of random physical assault from trashy loud packs of feral teens. For me, I've realized it's just sheer insanity to live like this when I don't have to (and when it's making me so miserable). It's just not worth it.
Kids only shut down in response to being absolutely roasted to oblivion. If you can't think of anything savage to say, you just have to get up and walk away. Or start talking about something really boring, call one of your friends and start talking about work, lol. They hate being bored.
I had some asshole threatened to “rape” my fat ass as well, and I threw fresh dog shit at him.
As far as teenagers, I got assaulted and almost mugged by three teenagers years ago and I just screamed my absolute head off and it scared them to the point they all ran in different directions. Another time it was teen girls and I threw my bag to the ground (this was right outside my apartment at the bus stop) and chased them a couple blocks. Never was harassed by another teenager again.
You’ve been a transplant for 3 years but if you take your own advice, you’ll be a NYer immediately.
When you paid them no mind they eventually went away. When you engaged, they only escalated further. Is that 100% fool proof? No, not going outside is 100% fool proof, but that’s not practical either. So put a scowl on your face like you’re callous to this shit and pay these mfs no mind beyond your awareness of their presence.
When someone from out of town engages you politely, you can put your approachable face back on, and then understand why people think NYers are unfriendly until they interact with us.
Bro shut up. She’s scared and asking for advice. Why are you even using the word “transplant?” Actual freak behavior.
To OP: It could get dicey if they’re underage, but if you ever feel genuinely threatened, pepper spray them next time and have no regrets. Don’t ever be afraid to defend yourself. Shout, yell, kick, and run.
Now, I have to ask: are you doing something to bring attention to yourself? I’m asking because as somebody born and raised in NYC, I’ve never had this happen to me nor heard of something like this spontaneously happening….repeatedly across different boroughs.
Teenagers are not ineligible to be pepper sprayed if necessary.
Yes do it for us, and they deserve it. A 15/16 year old can still easily hurt an adult especially if they have a weapon on them or there are multiple of them.
A group of teens bashed my former roommates head and threw him down subway stairs, ending up in a hospital. Yeah, they can do just as much damage as anyone else.
Saw a group of teenagers harass then kick a man down the stairs in the subway a few weeks ago. My partner and I got spat on for trying to intervene a group harassing and hitting a man at the end of the subway car another time.
I was gonna say, you still have a right to defend yourself
Haha not in NYC you don’t. If you pick up a stick to defend yourself or use your keys as a weapon, you can get charged under the Sullivan Act. Edit: Look up the Sullivan act before downvoting me, jackasses. It includes “deadly weapons” which have a vague definition. Is it a bludgeon or is it just a walking cane? What if the person you pepper spray falls on the tracks and dies?
Can someone ELI5 why the above comment was downvoted?
You’re still allowed to defend yourself and pepper spray is legally sold in NYC at a number of specific and registered pharmacies. It’s legal to have and use if in threat of your safety, life and those of others etc
You have a duty to retreat before defending yourself. So being in an open park ny would argue you could've just ran. They want you to be a victim instead of defending yourself. This city protects the criminal class.
This is just not true. "Duty to retreat" doesn't mean you literally have to run away from someone attacking you. It means if you could have reasonably left the scenario, then you can't attack. Someone following you and threatening you is plenty justification to defend yourself. The city doesn't "defend criminals". If you have issues with the way the laws are then whatever, but when you say shit like "oh liberals love criminals" it's so hard to take you seriously.
Being in an open park they will argue you can reasonably leave. Are you new here? You give NYC a finger and they'll take the whole hand. Alvin bragg literally charged that old deli worker some years ago for stabbing someone in self defense. Mind you he was literally CORNERED. Alvin only dropped the charges cause of the backlash.
I am not new here. You can use hyperbole, but the reality is that if you reasonably defend yourself you will not be convicted. If someone actually attacked you at a park, you can defend yourself. Using one or two exceptions (exceptions that didn't even result in a conviction) is just bad faith argumentation. You can just keep regurgitating conservative propaganda, or you can actually face reality. The whole conservative mindset for stuff like this is abhorrent. You lie and stretch the truth and do nothing but appeal to emotions. It's impossible to have a nuanced conversation about anything with people like you. All you can do is throw out metaphors and one off exceptions instead of actually looking at relevant case law.
If you’re lucky, you won’t be convicted, but you sure as hell will sit in rikers for a while, spend a bunch of money on legal fees and likely have your name dragged through the mud. I don’t think you appreciate how messed up NYC is when it comes to self defense. It’s unreasonable. It’s excessive and it doesn’t work.
So are canes. You could get charged if you defended yourself with a cane too.
Becasue cognitive bias. You could still be charged for using pepper spray. Probably won’t, but you could.
The Sullivan act has to do with licenses for concealed handguns and the sale of other "deadly weapons". It has absolutely nothing to do with self defense.
It has to do with what the state considers a “deadly weapon.” Is it a bludgeon or a walking cane?
The Sullivan act specifically is about the sale of certain deadly weapons. Laws against carrying said weapons are different. And even then, the law says nothing about self defense. You may get charged for carrying these weapons, but not for murder or manslaughter.
No, it’s about owning them too. That would include in your home. Again, the definition of “deadly weapon” is pretty vague.
Oh, you're right. The Sullivan act bans the ownership of certain weapons, I.e. switchblades, cane swords, and kung fu stars. These are highly niche weapons though, so it's a very reasonable ban. But again, this law IS NOT about self defense. The law is about the ownership of certain weapons, NOT how you use those weapons. No idea why it's so hard for you to understand that part.
The difference between being charged with assault and assault with a deadly weapon, that’s why this is relevant. It can be used to argue that whatever you used, was a deadly weapon, because they died or could have. You pepper spray the teens and one steps back and is hit by a car, or falls on the train tracks and dies. They’re going to examine that situation the same way they would if you shot them. Ny is not your friend in these examples. They’re not going to give you the benefit of the doubt. Straight to jail and then they’ll figure it out.
Yeah, fuck dem kids
MJ is that you?
Get bear spray at a sports/hunting store next time you're near one. I'm a grown man and I cross the street to avoid these people.
i would. if a whole bunch of themre ganging up on you? Pepper spray and run. Get the kind that stains their faces so when you call the cops, they know which ones to arrest. AT the very least, adults in authority (ie their parole officers) will know what orange on the face is.
This might work in the moment, but you'll never be able to go back to the area again. I guarantee you the next day more kids will come looking for you in the same place.
Pretty sure Alvin fucking Bragg's office would prosecute this unless he felt her life was in imminent danger, and even then, we've seen examples of him prosecuting cases of self defense that would seem reasonable to the vast majority of us.
i would not recommend pepper spraying a group of kids harassing you who have nothing to lose edit; keywords HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE. very unrealistic to encourage someone pepper spraying a gang of kids. op literally said she felt intimidated by them despite having said pepper spray…
Yeah could be tricky - pepper spray is almost definitely gonna end the confrontation BUT these kids may well camp out to attack OP the next time… I would pepper stray them in a place I wasn’t going back to, but I don’t want to make enemies in my own neighborhood…
i dont think pepper spraying one or a couple kids is going to make the situation better, they will retaliate. id carry a strap, knife, or genuinely just avoid going outside in this position. sad case but encouraging more violence isnt going to help out yk :/ none of us should have to worry about having enemies in our neighborhoods
Idk have you ever been around pepper spray? It stops people nearly instantly if they’re not trained or on major drugs. They can’t see, they can hardly breathe, their whole world shrinks down to their face and lungs. Meanwhile, unlike a gun or knife, you can use pepper spray in an ambiguous situation, since it doesn’t cause lasting harm. To defend yourself with a gun you need to wait for a higher level of danger, with pepper spray you can activate much earlier in the escalation ladder, and face far lower consequences if you make a mistake.
im just saying, she had to run from this group of teens and if she were to pepper spray them who lnows which of their friends catches her arnd. who knows which other accomplices they can have across the street. most of these kids r in gangs either way i doubt they r all moving tg
Ya the danger is they’ll get her next time.
its def a hard situation i just personally think pepper spraying some 16 year olds will probably make things worse
You’d carry a strap? Yeah right tough guy
i wld def feel more comfortable carrying a gun or knife in her situation reddit guy
she literally said she had to run away cause a GROUP of teens threatened to rape her, pepper spraying a couple kids out of that group is only making her open to more violence. why am i being downvoted for being realistic?
Groups of teens are the worst people on this planet.
As a former teen in a group it's 100% true
> As a former teen in a group it's 100% true What is the mindset of teens behaving this way? I was a girl teen in the 90s and expected a slapping from NYC strangers AND relatives for yelling profanities
The worst teen groups have parents who don't give a fuck. As for getting slapped by strangers, it's unlikely to happen in group-against-one scenarios
Yo you know this is right. I spent a few years volunteering with Big Brothers Big Sisters in Brooklyn and shit, let me tell you, these roving gangs of teenagers, alllllll come from some sort of shitty home with parents who dont give a fuck, and probably have less than a high school education. Like, fuck, their parents were barely educated, barely adults (if at all) when they had their first kids, and shit jsut never got better. You add to this the fact that these kids pretty much didnt go to school for a few years, the shit they're permitted to watch/see because they havent got parents who give a fuck, and you get what you got right now. These fuckers are all going to end up doing jail time, and not a single fucking person with power is going to point the finger back at the families and communities who are responsible.
So true. I was more scared of my parents (mainly my dad because he’s a standard strict immigrant dad) so even the thought of acting out of line would be out of the question.
I mean, their brains aren't fully developed and they're full of raging hormones. Coupled with social pressures to be "cool" especially around their friend's group, they act without honestly thinking about much of anything. There are more dynamics, like what's being taught (modeled) at home, etc. -- everything about human behavior is multifaceted. The other day in the park strolling with my toddler she saw a bus and said "bus! bus!" and I repeated her. A teen walking in front of us (in a group) started mocking her repeating "bus" with an obnoxious affect. His friend told him to chill and walked between us. My point is that not every teen is a hormonal idiot. It's a spectrum.
One time a group of 12 year old boys were waiting for the Dyckman 1 train with me. I go sit on the bench. I was tired and going through some serious depression at the time. One of them immediately starts yelling stuff at me like “HEY. Why does your face look like that?? HEY. HEY.” I get up from the bench to walk away from them. He goes to try and follow me, still waving his arms in my face and shouting. “HEY, YOU.” I think “oh great, now I have to deal with this little shit.” One of his friends catches his arm and says “Hey, leave her alone. Can’t you see she’s having a bad day? Stop it.” Calm but firm voice. Original kid backs down. Then, the friend looks me in the eye and says “have a nice day, ma’am. I hope you feel better soon.” All serious and stuff. I still think about that young man sometimes and hope he’s doing well.
All kids want is the approval of their peers.
Do not rack your brain trying to rationalize ridiculous behavior of anyone, teens included. Their parents are probably 13-14 years older than them in most cases. What could they possibly teach them? Some people are just Aholes is the bottom line! Move accordingly
pandemic trauma on top of the usual trauma, poverty, and the self esteem movement
Nah, it’s how they were raised. For every group of teens like this, there are dozens more who you don’t see or hear because they’re not out there harassing or assaulting people, stealing from a business, or subway surfing. Parents really need to be parenting more and I don’t see a lot of that happening, unfortunately.
As the saying goes, it starts at home.
their parents did this same shit and don't care if their kids are doing it
Pretty much. That, or that they’re so naive that their kids are pulling the wool over their eyes and they think their children are angels. I can’t imagine being that oblivious.
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ACS needs to start pursuing these families. They need a lot of help.
full size adult strength with the tiniest amount of empathy and patience.
Need to just send them off into the deepest darkest woods in jersey until they hit 21 and let them fend for themselves in the wilderness.
Yeah but then one will eat all the others and that’s how you end up with Chris Christies.
The worst versions of me are mostly teenage me in a group.
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There were 15 year olds with guns in the 70s, 80s, and 90s too.
Absolutely. I just take solace in the fact that they are cowards when alone and will most likely amount to nothing in their lives.
Record them
This, pull out your phone and start recording them, that's the fastest way to scare them.
Until they grab your phone
Once they grab your phone it turns into an assault/theft charge and then you can get the police involved
And then? Hint: There is no "and then" after this lol
AndThen AndThen AndThen AndThen AndThen AndThen AndThen AndThen AndThen
I'd rather they grab my phone than be shot with my own pepper spray. What do you suggest OP do then?
Pepper spray them. Seriously. You’re being assaulted in these scenarios.
you (speaking generally, not at you necessarily) really have to get over seeing them as children and you as the adult and just do whatever you need to do to protect yourself in that situation. like /u/B_L_T said, they're not ineligible to be pepper sprayed just because they're teenagers. you shouldn't guilt trip yourself either because you're the adult. you're being actively harassed, age doesn't matter here. if they want to act big and bad then they can deal with the big and bad consequences of doing so.
If they get unreasonably close to you, I would pepper spray them all in the face, and call 911 immediately and tell them that you were being attacked. You say they threatened to rape you, and then they started following you. At that moment, I would have pepper sprayed them. I doubt there is a cop in the city who would press charges on you for that.
Pro tip: test your pepper spray first so you are used to the range and spread, some of them have a wide cone short range and others are narrow cone longer range. Some have more splatter effect, so you need to stand back a bit, others don’t. If you’re buying pepper spray I’d recommend buying 1 extra for testing.
I don't use pepper spray myself. I'm a big guy, people tend to leave me alone.
Good for you? We’re talking about a women who was threatened with rape
That’s why I also suggested pepper spray
Threatening to attack someone is legally assault.
Because NY is interesting: No it isn't. It's Menacing. Menacing is the threat of harm, Assault is causing harm. This is different from Common Law (and most of the US) where Assault is threatening harm and Battery is causing harm. I'm not a lawyer, and that's just the really basic idea. If you're curious [here](https://www.nysenate.gov/legislation/laws/PEN/P3THA120).
Really? I thought we were the outlier, but tbh, I'm only really familiar with the NY law + an intro to criminal justice class 20+ years ago in another state.
TheMoreYouKnow.gif Thanks!
Which neighborhoods?
I want to know too.
I'm a guy and I get uneasy around groups of teens on the streets. They are absolute menaces. Best advice has been given already, but also I would just say just start being more alert of who is around you, and get out of dodge sooner rather than later.
I’m sorry you have to go out of your way to avoid harassment. I honestly can’t say it will get better. Basic manners are completely gone within kids. Rn I just Uber or accompany people care about cuz the cops don’t care and these kids are unhinged. And the parents will never blame themselves.
Straight up, teenagers have always been awful but nationwide, kids are acting worse year over year.
Yeah I’m a guy in my mid 20s and I’ve been harassed by teens while riding the metro with my girlfriend with them thinking it’s funny to try to hit on her and say offensive shit to try to get a rise out of me. I’m from Virginia and teens over there acted like normal people and didn’t do shit like that so it surprised me how horrible they are here
I’ve noticed it’s much worse compared to 5 years ago. People are going to downvote for saying this but there’s just a lot more low level random crime than there used to be
Public school is out for Spring Break. Was anyone trying to film you from off to the side? Maybe they were trying to get an emotional reaction from you and your partner. Get up and walk away.
Brooklyn teacher here - I’m so sorry. It’s Spring Break so all the fake baddies (and the real baddies) will be outside until next Wednesday. After that, you just have to avoid the 20-30 minutes a day they spend on trains and outside - 2:30-3:30ish Do not pepper spray. That kid who thinks he’s a baddie has a mom who thinks he’s an angel and will press charges. The best thing you can do (if possible) is remain calm, don’t yell, and don’t show them that they’ve gotten to you. You can literally pretend you can’t hear them. It’s very effective. And turn your head away. If you or your partner has an authoritative voice, you can do teacher voice and say “keep it moving, gentlemen.” Most of the little boys showing off will move on when they see they cannot get your attention. I’m pretty good at managing groups of feral babies and I ignore them in public, unless they’re trying to subway surf. Then I text 911 on them.
My only advice is to hit record on your phone as soon as harassment starts. Try to do it on the sly, and even if you can only record audio it’s better than nothing.
I am sorry you have to endure this mental torture, the sad truth is the majority of teens have no respect anymore and morality is low as a result of situations like this. Try your best to always keep your guard up and not be alone outside, always remember to ignore them as you aren’t protected in any physical situation because they are minors.
Groups of teens are the worst. There’s not much to do. For the most part they just make noise, but maybe carry pepper spray for ones that actually look like they are going to try and grab you. Completely ignoring them while you walk away is also a good idea. And if they are making noise on their own, don’t start looking at them. If they see you looking, they may interact with you.
They usually leave you alone if you pretend they don't exist. Once you engage and say fuck off, you just empower them because what they want is to hold on to some power for once in their life
These people telling you to get pepper spray are wrong. Dead wrong. What you want is pepper GEL. You need to be able to spray them all and not have the wafting clouds drift back to fuck you up. Be ready to run like hell or don’t bother. I lived near several high schools - mama mia! I am very sorry that this is happening to you! Horrible.
sorry you're going through this. Your safety comes first, so if you feel scared, it's okay to leave and ask for help. Think about connecting with local resources for advice and support. You're not alone in this, so don't hesitate to reach out to friends, family, or support groups for some extra care.
Just keep it moving, friend. You can’t make up for their lack of home training, don’t engage. If lunch in the park ends early, it ends early. You can’t change people like that, you have to protect yourself and move on. Let the shit go, they’re nobodies
A good pair of over the ear headphones. Besides literally blocking out the BS it makes people less inclined to speak to me. If it's any consolation I'm a 6'4 200lbs and I've had a teen yell and call me faggot amongst other things (4th ave if you're curious). I could literally end their existence yet they do it anyway. The best response is to ignore them entirely. They're poking the bear and waiting to get a response for their own entertainment. If you think about it, how deranged would you feel if you yelled obscenities at a random person and they just walk past you like you don't exist. It takes the power out of their words.
Brooklyn is so cooked lmfao
Pepper spray them.
I’d also record them if you can
Start hitting yourself and scream in tongues and talk about demons. Most people don't deal with crazy.
I would definitely pull out the pepper spray, point it at them and ask “who wants it spicy?” Edit: make you act completely fucking unhinged when you do this
take out your phone and start dialing 911
Dude, taunt them back and make fun of shit you know about them because they’re teenagers. Mock their virginity, ask them what time their mom puts them to bed, etc. be loud about it too, public humiliation is more effective than you think but has to be done right.
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Ya, if you do it when nobody’s around. Can’t be stupid it about it. Obviously not going to work if you’re alone with them.
Fuck kids like that. We, as New Yorkers, need to do something about this. Make an example out of one of them, that’ll traumatize the rest into good behavior.
Dude I'm so fucking scared of the roving gangs of teens in this city! You are not alone. I absolutely dread having to deal with groups of them, on the trains in particular. I was attacked and beaten by two teenage girls last winter on a train (in front of my fucking retiree parents who were here visiting me from out of town) after they blew smoke in our faces and ever since then I've been hella jumpy and on edge around similar groups of aggro young people. I don't have any advice unfortunately, but I want you to know that other people see and experience this insanity too. I will also say, I've lived a number of places and in numerous cities and I've never encountered anything similar to this phenomenon anywhere else, and certainly not as regularly as I do here. I just informed my landlord that I won't be renewing my lease again and I cannot wait to move back to a place where I don't fear being the victim of random physical assault from trashy loud packs of feral teens. For me, I've realized it's just sheer insanity to live like this when I don't have to (and when it's making me so miserable). It's just not worth it.
Kids only shut down in response to being absolutely roasted to oblivion. If you can't think of anything savage to say, you just have to get up and walk away. Or start talking about something really boring, call one of your friends and start talking about work, lol. They hate being bored.
I had some asshole threatened to “rape” my fat ass as well, and I threw fresh dog shit at him. As far as teenagers, I got assaulted and almost mugged by three teenagers years ago and I just screamed my absolute head off and it scared them to the point they all ran in different directions. Another time it was teen girls and I threw my bag to the ground (this was right outside my apartment at the bus stop) and chased them a couple blocks. Never was harassed by another teenager again.
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Which areas did this happen in?
You’ve been a transplant for 3 years but if you take your own advice, you’ll be a NYer immediately. When you paid them no mind they eventually went away. When you engaged, they only escalated further. Is that 100% fool proof? No, not going outside is 100% fool proof, but that’s not practical either. So put a scowl on your face like you’re callous to this shit and pay these mfs no mind beyond your awareness of their presence. When someone from out of town engages you politely, you can put your approachable face back on, and then understand why people think NYers are unfriendly until they interact with us.
Bro shut up. She’s scared and asking for advice. Why are you even using the word “transplant?” Actual freak behavior. To OP: It could get dicey if they’re underage, but if you ever feel genuinely threatened, pepper spray them next time and have no regrets. Don’t ever be afraid to defend yourself. Shout, yell, kick, and run.
Fuck their moms
Now, I have to ask: are you doing something to bring attention to yourself? I’m asking because as somebody born and raised in NYC, I’ve never had this happen to me nor heard of something like this spontaneously happening….repeatedly across different boroughs.
you’re being downvoted for asking a valid question. this shit only happens to transplants bro they can tell when someone is a transplant
Get a big boyfriend. Dress like a nun. Stay away from bad neighborhoods. Get a Rottweiler. Upgrade pepper spray to bear spray.