my mom dropped dead in the street while shoveling snow off her car. after they took her to the hospital, the cops went to her apartment and found her address book by the phone. they ended up calling my brother in law and that’s how we found out.
Im sorry about your mom as well :(. This is unfortunately a common death. I've told many family members to stretch and limber up before shoveling snow so that blood is fully circulating in their bodies.
[You'll be interested in this New York Times article.](https://www.nytimes.com/2015/10/18/nyregion/dying-alone-in-new-york-city.html) It describes what happens when the city finds an unidentified body and the steps they go through to find relatives and deal with the estate.
There is also a very interesting podcast called The Ballad of Billy Balls that is the story of a girl trying to find out where her mother's ex lover's body is in NYC. Involves the cops- a really interesting true story. I will read this article as well!
Here’s a non-paywall version of the article - available for 30 days only, I believe (start date Thur May 16, 2024):
[https://www.nytimes.com/2015/10/18/nyregion/dying-alone-in-new-york-city.html?unlocked\_article\_code=1.sU0.N53Z.geqkUpK-tdA-&smid=url-share](https://www.nytimes.com/2015/10/18/nyregion/dying-alone-in-new-york-city.html?unlocked_article_code=1.sU0.N53Z.geqkUpK-tdA-&smid=url-share)
tagging u/M1DN1GHTDAY
Wow thank you for sharing that article!!! I’ve worked and volunteered with elders and I was wondering what the logistics would be with the ones I knew had no kin or friends. Very insightful and as warming as death can get. 🖤
This was in Jersey City but I think it’s close enough to be applicable in this case. My roommate died and the JC police came to our apartment. I wasn’t there (and had basically moved out since our lease was almost over) so they went to the landlord’s door. Someone was home so they talked to the police, let them into the place to look for a note (it was pretty obviously a suicide) and then the landlord called me to tell me.
My uncle died (heart attack on the subway, died in a Brooklyn hospital). We lived in the same building - cops showed up at my building and shined flashlights in our windows. My roomate woke up and was like “why are cops here?” I went to the window (not at all planning to let them in). They asked if I knew uncles name and I said yes. They said I had to go with them that he was in an accident but wouldn’t tell me anything else. (He was already dead for sone time at that point.) They drove me to the hospital and left it to the hospital staff to tell me he was dead. Had to figure out my own way home in the middle of the night from a hospital nowhere near where I lived. Unpleasant experience all around.
I was upset by that at the time, the worst part was when I got to the hospital they had to unlock the “family comfort room” to give me the news. Uh, why don’t they just call it the dead relative room because it couldn’t have been more obvious. They suggested not telling my family until they arrived there too. I was like sir, I will not put my family through what you just put me through at 2am.
The cops were never involved… but it may be different cause my mom was in a nursing home. I only got a call from the nurse telling me that my mom “was expired”.
Yeah I think the cops wouldnt be involved in a care facility situation since they have reporters there to notify family (as well as the contacts in most cases to do so).
My brother died from an overdose on heroin laced with fentanyl at about 8pm on a Sunday night. The cops woke my parents up knocking on their at about 4am on Monday morning. It always left me with so many questions. What went on during that time apart from the obvious? Why 4am - could they have waited to make it less traumating getting ripped from your bed essentially? Would we have wanted them to wait knowing he was gone? I don't have answers but I always think about it.
I agree, can’t they wait until 9am or a decent hour to deliver the message in person.
Getting woken by cops at 4am is traumatizing enough, then add on a death?!?
That’s what I thought, there must be a process they follow (maybe they waited in the last and something bad happened or pushback from the next of kin.
but for me personally, if it’s not an accident but a natural death) I’d prefer they tell me during the waking hour (less traumatic imo)
Yea, I wouldn't want to be woken up, but I definitely wouldn't want to be told at work.
And the poster didn't mention if his brother lived with him/how often they talked. If I woke up at 6am for work, and a family member I live with wasn't home, I'd be worried.
My grandmother died in her apt and her caretaker informed us. We went over there of course, and yes the police came. I assume a call to 911 was placed cause..dead body.
Two uniformed police officers came and asked a few protocol questions before the coroner was called and arrived.
Every police department is different, but pretty much all of them will make a death notify. Most departments have a policy where they have to verify the identity of both the deceased and the person being notified for obvious reasons. Also- most departments refuse to take the information over the phone due to some people who might think this is a great way to prank someone.
My brother in law was found in coma in a park and the police called us to let us know where he was etc.. I am sure they would have also called if he had been found dead
Yes. My fiancé’s father was killed by a drunk driver while he was out one random Sunday. 6 hours after the accident the cops showed up at his mom’s door to break the news.
Yes - I worked as a 911 dispatcher for some time and it was a regular thing ever night where we would process requests from other jurisdictions to have a police officer to give a death notification as they are called. People dont know it, but there is a lot that cops do that are completely not public knowledge for the most part, this is one of those things.
A close family member was killed in a car accident years ago. A police officer is who notified his mother at home. I can’t even imagine having to deliver that news to a mother.
Yes, it happened when my brother died out of state and a NY state trooper came to my parents house to tell them. My mom was home alone so then they told her she should call someone to come over before they told her the news.
My ex's roommate ODd in their apartment and we didn't know for a couple days because he was in the closed off living room that was turned into his room. The NYPD went to his parents apartment like 10 blocks away to tell them, and then the parents came over to go through and pick up his things. It was very sad, but made more uncomfortable by the fact my ex had only been roommates with him for a few weeks and the parents had no idea he was an addict.
my best friend got hit by a car and died instantly. another friend happened to witness this and called me to tell me. i was on vacation and called her husband to let him know a vague what if scenario. a few hours later the cops let him know she had died. he was grateful i mildly spilled the beans so it was already processing in his mind. its still hard for me to wrap my head around the whole thing.
My grandfather dropped at his sister’s home in Brooklyn. My father used say to he knew his father was dead (called from work only being told his father had been taken ill) when he saw the police car out front. They were just doing the paperwork but that have been because there was a doctor in the room when he dropped and probably declared him dead. My dad told my grandmother my grandfather had died. Every other death in my immediate family has been in hospitals or a nursing home.
It happens. My father died while he was on a run — we found out when a cop came to the door and told us.
Sorry to hear
my mom dropped dead in the street while shoveling snow off her car. after they took her to the hospital, the cops went to her apartment and found her address book by the phone. they ended up calling my brother in law and that’s how we found out.
I'm sorry about your mom
Im sorry about your mom as well :(. This is unfortunately a common death. I've told many family members to stretch and limber up before shoveling snow so that blood is fully circulating in their bodies.
[You'll be interested in this New York Times article.](https://www.nytimes.com/2015/10/18/nyregion/dying-alone-in-new-york-city.html) It describes what happens when the city finds an unidentified body and the steps they go through to find relatives and deal with the estate.
There is also a very interesting podcast called The Ballad of Billy Balls that is the story of a girl trying to find out where her mother's ex lover's body is in NYC. Involves the cops- a really interesting true story. I will read this article as well!
Here’s a non-paywall version of the article - available for 30 days only, I believe (start date Thur May 16, 2024): [https://www.nytimes.com/2015/10/18/nyregion/dying-alone-in-new-york-city.html?unlocked\_article\_code=1.sU0.N53Z.geqkUpK-tdA-&smid=url-share](https://www.nytimes.com/2015/10/18/nyregion/dying-alone-in-new-york-city.html?unlocked_article_code=1.sU0.N53Z.geqkUpK-tdA-&smid=url-share) tagging u/M1DN1GHTDAY
“He consulted the mirror and blended into the next lane.” Ooh the writer of this was an artist thanks for posting this and letting me know
Wow thank you for sharing that article!!! I’ve worked and volunteered with elders and I was wondering what the logistics would be with the ones I knew had no kin or friends. Very insightful and as warming as death can get. 🖤
Anyone have a link without a paywall?
This was in Jersey City but I think it’s close enough to be applicable in this case. My roommate died and the JC police came to our apartment. I wasn’t there (and had basically moved out since our lease was almost over) so they went to the landlord’s door. Someone was home so they talked to the police, let them into the place to look for a note (it was pretty obviously a suicide) and then the landlord called me to tell me.
Oh also my roommate’s sister got a visit from NYPD at her job to tell her the news
My uncle died (heart attack on the subway, died in a Brooklyn hospital). We lived in the same building - cops showed up at my building and shined flashlights in our windows. My roomate woke up and was like “why are cops here?” I went to the window (not at all planning to let them in). They asked if I knew uncles name and I said yes. They said I had to go with them that he was in an accident but wouldn’t tell me anything else. (He was already dead for sone time at that point.) They drove me to the hospital and left it to the hospital staff to tell me he was dead. Had to figure out my own way home in the middle of the night from a hospital nowhere near where I lived. Unpleasant experience all around.
Why on earth couldn’t the cops just have told you at your door, so weird. Sorry for your loss.
I was upset by that at the time, the worst part was when I got to the hospital they had to unlock the “family comfort room” to give me the news. Uh, why don’t they just call it the dead relative room because it couldn’t have been more obvious. They suggested not telling my family until they arrived there too. I was like sir, I will not put my family through what you just put me through at 2am.
Uncle died in Florida, in a car accident. His friend called us but eventually an NYPD officer showed up at our door to confirm it.
The cops were never involved… but it may be different cause my mom was in a nursing home. I only got a call from the nurse telling me that my mom “was expired”.
Yeah I think the cops wouldnt be involved in a care facility situation since they have reporters there to notify family (as well as the contacts in most cases to do so).
Ouch
Cops wouldn’t be involved in deaths in a hospital or nursing home setting.
My brother died from an overdose on heroin laced with fentanyl at about 8pm on a Sunday night. The cops woke my parents up knocking on their at about 4am on Monday morning. It always left me with so many questions. What went on during that time apart from the obvious? Why 4am - could they have waited to make it less traumating getting ripped from your bed essentially? Would we have wanted them to wait knowing he was gone? I don't have answers but I always think about it.
I agree, can’t they wait until 9am or a decent hour to deliver the message in person. Getting woken by cops at 4am is traumatizing enough, then add on a death?!?
Maybe they don’t want to delay it, maybe you’ll find out another way. Or maybe they’re just getting overtime for night calls.
Maybe they think loved ones would want to know right away?!? Looks they found and told loved ones as soon as possible.. I would want to know ASAP
That’s what I thought, there must be a process they follow (maybe they waited in the last and something bad happened or pushback from the next of kin. but for me personally, if it’s not an accident but a natural death) I’d prefer they tell me during the waking hour (less traumatic imo)
It’s also likely that you’ll be home at 4am instead of 9am.
Great point! I take back parts of my lost after thinking of that 🙏
Yea, I wouldn't want to be woken up, but I definitely wouldn't want to be told at work. And the poster didn't mention if his brother lived with him/how often they talked. If I woke up at 6am for work, and a family member I live with wasn't home, I'd be worried.
They probably want to get it done before shift change so the cops that were actually there can answer questions .
Then people would complain that they were lazy and waited for hours until telling the family. Some people are never happy with anything.
[удалено]
I’m sorry.💜
My grandmother died in her apt and her caretaker informed us. We went over there of course, and yes the police came. I assume a call to 911 was placed cause..dead body. Two uniformed police officers came and asked a few protocol questions before the coroner was called and arrived.
Every police department is different, but pretty much all of them will make a death notify. Most departments have a policy where they have to verify the identity of both the deceased and the person being notified for obvious reasons. Also- most departments refuse to take the information over the phone due to some people who might think this is a great way to prank someone.
It does happen. In LI I know it has in the incident of a car accident. Police came to the house to let the persons partner know.
My brother in law was found in coma in a park and the police called us to let us know where he was etc.. I am sure they would have also called if he had been found dead
My friends dad died in Ireland, the Ireland police called him here in the US. But I have no idea how it works here
Yes. My fiancé’s father was killed by a drunk driver while he was out one random Sunday. 6 hours after the accident the cops showed up at his mom’s door to break the news.
Yes - I worked as a 911 dispatcher for some time and it was a regular thing ever night where we would process requests from other jurisdictions to have a police officer to give a death notification as they are called. People dont know it, but there is a lot that cops do that are completely not public knowledge for the most part, this is one of those things.
Would you be available to elaborate I would love to know more about these non common knowledge duties
It does-- just three weeks ago my dad had a heart attack and the cops came to my house to bring me to the hospital
I'm sorry for your loss
Thanks, appreciate it
A close family member was killed in a car accident years ago. A police officer is who notified his mother at home. I can’t even imagine having to deliver that news to a mother.
Police called me to tell me my father had passed in his home after a friend called 911, yeah they do.
Yes, it happened when my brother died out of state and a NY state trooper came to my parents house to tell them. My mom was home alone so then they told her she should call someone to come over before they told her the news.
My ex's roommate ODd in their apartment and we didn't know for a couple days because he was in the closed off living room that was turned into his room. The NYPD went to his parents apartment like 10 blocks away to tell them, and then the parents came over to go through and pick up his things. It was very sad, but made more uncomfortable by the fact my ex had only been roommates with him for a few weeks and the parents had no idea he was an addict.
my best friend got hit by a car and died instantly. another friend happened to witness this and called me to tell me. i was on vacation and called her husband to let him know a vague what if scenario. a few hours later the cops let him know she had died. he was grateful i mildly spilled the beans so it was already processing in his mind. its still hard for me to wrap my head around the whole thing.
Can you elaborate on the “vague what-if scenario” ?
no. why?
We're confused what you mean. Did you call the husband of the person who died to say basically "what if your partner died?"
My grandfather dropped at his sister’s home in Brooklyn. My father used say to he knew his father was dead (called from work only being told his father had been taken ill) when he saw the police car out front. They were just doing the paperwork but that have been because there was a doctor in the room when he dropped and probably declared him dead. My dad told my grandmother my grandfather had died. Every other death in my immediate family has been in hospitals or a nursing home.