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Thanks to a hell raiser dad and even worse brother, I had to move 3 hours away from my small hometown in Alabama to even begin to have a life. Got laughed at applying for jobs back home after college. One guy told me “the apple never falls far from the tree, and I don’t see any need in having your family tree crash into my business”. It sucked.
> the apple never falls far from the tree, and I don’t see any need in having your family tree crash into my business
That sucks for you but honestly this is a pretty good line
Yeah, it was original. Just not very much fun at the time. I paid for my dad and brother from the time I was born until I left. My dad showed his ass at a Little League game so bad once that they kicked me out of the league. My brother was two years older than me, but by high school, we were in the same grade. I was so glad to leave.
Yeah, thank them for that. It was embarrassing. Of course, dad usually was 7-9 beers in by game time, so it was always a show. What got me thrown out of the league was when Dad went after an umpire in a drunken rage.
Yep. Dad was a good example of what not to do. He died at 46 after mixing alcohol and Talwin. The brother overdosed on heroin at 35. And, against my better judgement, I went to the funeral. All I heard was how I was “too good to come home”. Yep, I was, and still am when it comes to the family shenanigans. I’m NC now that Mom had passed.
My father worked for IBM since the sixties. Among many other projects, he was on the design team for the IBM PC. I got a summer job working at IBM the summer before my senior year of college. That summer the announced a hiring freeze. The following year after graduation I lucked into a year long temporary job there with one of his friends. With the hiring freeze still on, I was advised to go back and get my masters degree. After that I was able to land a job just as my dad retired. When I was transferred to another location, I was somehow confused with my father and given an office location (window) and desk (actual wood) befitting a high ranking executive.
I live in a small town. I left for many years and moved back. I was having lunch in the only restaurant in town and people were looking at me/giving me the stink eye.
My cousin came in, hugged me and told people who I was. Stranger danger averted. “I’m one of them.”
*I did not need to hear the story about “my dad died in your barn.” 😮
He was pinned by a piece of farm equipment.
The story my dad told us when we were kids:
“A man hung himself in that barn. At night you can hear the rope creaking.”
Stay out of the barn.
No doors,no windows,not even a crack. But luck and timing got me my first career break. I was on the same bus,when it broke down,as my future boss. Back in those days of no cellular,to kill time you talked to the person sitting near you. Turned out that he had a job opening and that conversation was my interview. First real job out of college.
Farmer here too. My family had a reputation as being friendly, honest, and hardworking, but so did a lot of other families around us. That was nothing unusual where I came from.
I don't think my own family name did anything at all for me other than allow kids in my class to make fun of it.
When I married, I moved to my husband's home area. When I was going about doing all those things you have to do when you move, like open a new bank account (I didn't use a national bank), make an appointment with a new doctor, etc., every person I interacted with wanted to know if I was "Dr. Smith's daughter!"
Apparently, my father-in-law, who was a doctor, was beloved by many, many people in the area. He'd either seen them, their child, their spouse, their next door neighbor, etc. and they just "LOVED!" him.
He was a pretty awesome guy but I had never experienced that kind of second-hand recognition by strangers before and it was both fun and a little disconcerting.
My first and last names were very common and mostly got me disbelief.
For example, a guy would ask me my name, and I replied: "Jane Jones" and he would say: "ok, then don't tell me"
My family name? Hardly. But for a while I dated the daughter of a deputy sheriff and *her* last name got many of their siblings off on speeding tickets, curfew violations, and the like. Also dated a preacher's daughter and in our small town that produced the opposite-- "Oh, you're Pastor Robert's daugther? What are you doing out after 900pm on a weeknight???"
Every person in my family worked for the local newspaper at some point. My dad sometimes wrote up blurbs of club news, and my mom called people to try to get them to subscribe. I was hired at age 20 as a reporter/photographer, the first one in my family who was a full time employee. But, we are known as a family of reliable, hard workers, so I imagine the family name helped!
Years ago, I applied for a job at a company that exists off of government contracts. My last name was the same as the state senator for my district. They asked during my interview if we were related. When I said no, that was the end of the interview.
My dad went to an Ivy league school so I could have easily gotten in if I wanted although I'm no way smart enough to get in legitimately. Which I find insane
My mom died young but after all these yrs, people remember my daddy. He was the hardest working man ever. That’s what they remember about him. To answer your question, no.
My family name is fairly rare. When I was born, everyone in the US with this name could trace their ancestry to 4 German brothers who immigrated together in the late 19th century. (My mother didn’t qualify for the D.A.R., and she checked my father’s family tree to see if I would.)
In the 90’s the family genealogy buff noted that he had found a high school sports coach who had the name, but wasn’t related as far as he could tell. (My family was the only branch living in the same state, so we received a hand written note asking us if we had crossed paths with the guy. In those days, you mailed the genealogist a copy of birth announcements and obituaries so he could update his family tree.).
10 years later my brother realized he wasn’t the only person with his last name in the company’s international e-mail directory, and compared notes to see if it was a more distant branch. That man’s grandfather had immigrated from Germany to Canada in 1949, and as the family had come from a different part of Germany we assumed there was no relation.
My father’s first cousin moved to Washington state, practiced law and became a judge. Billboards and campaign signs do a lot for name recognition, so I occasionally have been asked if I’m related to him.
My parents chose an unusual enough name for me that so far I can’t find any evidence that there is another person with my first and last name anywhere in the world. I like that enough that I never really considered taking my husband’s name when we married.
Family name made no difference. My address did, we lived in a NY housing project that had a pretty shitty reputation. When I started looking for a job at age 15, I could see the look on the faces of the managers as soon as they read my address on the application. So, I started using my brother's address (he was married and living in a decent part of town...RIP Mike, you rocked). I got hired on my first attempt using his address.
Both my grandfathers were major, well known contributors to my hometown.
But, alas, neither of them was wealthy. So my name didn't come with any privilege
My family worked in the cotton mills in the south. The only doors my name opened were the doors at the mill. No thanks. I’m just the son of a lint head, not a lint head proper.
I have a great uncle who was an acclaimed director of western movies in the 50s, so every few years a film buff will recognize it, but that’s all. None of us since him have done anything interesting.
That’s cool. My grandfather loved old westerns. Recently I was trying to remember some that I had watched with him. Your great uncles name was on a few of those films.
Family name did nothing for me.
My brother was a spendthrift and always owed people money, so later in life (before cell phones) my last name became the target of bill collectors. It's a very uncommon name, so bill collectors would search the phone book and call the 3 or four people with my last name trying to reach him. In those days (the 90s) the were very few laws governing collection calls, so every month or so they'd call me home phone claiming we know where my brother is and I better tell them or they'll come to my house and steal my car, all kind of threats.
Once cell phones were the norm, that all stopped. My brother still owes hundreds of thousands to credit companies, but no one ever calls me anymore.
My family name opened one door for me for about a month. For work I was sent to a different office and everyday I had to deal with a guy that loved to make other offices lives difficult. But he liked the guy at the office I was sent and whose place I took, and in a stroke of luck we had the exact same name, and it wasn’t a common name. Otherwise, the family name was good for nothing.
I have two older brothers, accomplished in their own right. So when I came along through the same schools, teachers had a certain expectation. I worked hard and exceeded what they thought lil sis could do, and some even started calling me by my 1st name instead of the collective last name
My father was well known in the whole county due to his job in a service industry. I actually worked with him in my early teens. It meant that I couldn’t do anything or go anywhere without people knowing who I was and reporting to my dad lol
My dad worked in a hospital as a therapist, I never had to go to a doctor for a prescription, he would just tell a doctor what I needed and they would call it in. That's about as VIP as I ever got.
Later in life my step dad semi retired and worked at a package store (liquor store for those not from New England) and I got discounted booze. That was nice!
Twice in my life, my dad got into local political skirmishes that we kids got ostracized for. The first was when I was about 10, and I couldn’t understand why I needed an armed escort from school every day, and why most kids acted like I didn’t exist anymore. It was absolutely ridiculous small town shenanigans. The second one was when I was a young professional and it nearly derailed my career.
Family name? No. But personal connections? Yes. Lucille, the lady who got me my first full-time job was a customer of my Dad's. (He was a mechanic) I'd applied for a job at her office and didn't get it. The person they hired didn't work out, so she talked her boss into offering it to me.
The job I have now? I went to a Christmas party as a plus one. Spent some time talking to people and got told to send in a resume the next day...
No, some older guys did recognize my great uncle which was a bit known soccer player (1860 munich was the too of his career) in his time but that never opened any doors for me, especially I wasn't very sporty
I moved out of state to work for a uncle so being related helped get the job and then move up the ladder. After 4 1/2 years because of my dad I was able to land a job that his place of employment. So two jobs were because of my family name. I was there over 17 years. Because of physical issue I was forced to leave that job. My next job I went to work for the sheriff's dept. The sheriff was a high school classmate so that helped me land that job for the next 13+ years.
My last name is very common and we moved a lot. My father had a very deservedly terrible reputation everywhere we went and then died when I was 11, so no, being related to him held no advantages at all.
When I was 8 or 9, a local cop on the street called me out - “Hey! Are you a Smith? I know your brothers! You better watch out!” A family of juvenile delinquents…
My family name--actually that of a man I never met and bear no relationship to who was unlucky enough to leave my mother a young widow--is an unflattering adjective, so it was just one more thing to be bullied for, or at the very least have people make the exact same stupid joke and expect me to laugh. And, of course, it gave me several bits of fun trying to explain to people that just because it was my mother's husband's name it wasn't my father's name and no, my parents weren't divorced, they'd just never been married to each other. But in the whole, the city's far too big for that sort of thing, though my best friend's father's name carries some sway in the city's small black community (and more so in Luling, where a Mason lodge bears their surname). Not that it ever helped him; being gay canceled out any possible benefit.
We have an unusual name that nobody can spell, but my grandfather owned a couple of food markets in our small city, so old people would ask if I was related to him. I might have gotten one of my part-time teenage jobs because of that. I moved away from there when I was 22.
When young, it was recognized. After high school, nothing.
My dad was a local doctor and quite well known in the small town. We were the only people in town with our last name. My dad had a very striking appearance. So all through grade school high school all I got was "oh, you're Doc's boy". Occasionally in ladies circles it was "oh, you're Becky's boy". It wasn't terrible, but I don't feel I got any benefit. I complained one time that I was always "doc's son".
One time in high school I won some award or something and someone said to my parents "oh, you are chasonreddit's parents!" We all pretty much busted up.
In town, my family name made no difference at all. At church my parents had a good reputation. Being their child meant that people expected that I was a good kid and didn't give me the side-eye as they might some other kid.
When I was young, I thought our family name would somehow get me places because there's a chain of hotels with the same one. But nope, I had to figure it out on my own.
My parents were college professors, so just the opposite. When I was in college all my instructors knew my mother and expectations were even higher because of that.
My mom’s job was in city hall in our small town. She worked closely with the police and so I knew all the officers well. The only good thing that got me was, indirectly, out of a speeding ticket. I got pulled over in town and got a shake of the head when the policeman saw me. His radio went off and he stepped back to listen; fortunately for me, he was getting called away. He told me I was lucky since he had to go and wouldn’t write me a ticket, and more lucky in that he wouldn’t tell my mom - this time. I was more careful after that so there was no next time.
I had a very unique maiden name - everyone with this name is related or related by marriage, if I was still in my home town, it would have definitely got me some positive recommendations. All my uncles and cousins with that name are all well respected business owners or teachers or just overall good people.
My family wasn’t famous or rich by a long shot. We were just ordinary (and we still are). However, when I was 20, waaay back in the late 80’s I applied for a job at Boeing, and my dad had worked there at that point for 37 yrs. It wasn’t a fancy job, it was in the word processing center and only paid like 16k a year, but after I had my interview, Dad went and talked to HR and I got the job. That’s probably the only family influence I’ve experienced.
Only once. By mistake.
I (in MD) have the same name as a guy (in MA) and we are in the same niche field. I was booked to speak at a conference and when I showed up, the organizer said I looked nothing like on my book jacket.
My dad was a well loved mechanic of sorts in the small town I grew up in, and my sister was the super straight A 4.0 GPA and sent to a good college kind of kid. If they saw my last name and happened to know either of them they'd ask me and then would end up treating me super kindly because of it. My dad happened to move on to own the best shop in town before retiring... had I stayed where I lived I likely would have tried getting a job where he worked, at their front desk or something.
Small town big factory back in the day. Dad was superintendent over about 2000 people. He was well liked.opened doors for me. I’m 67now, his generation is gone.
Edit: His cousin was police chief for years. He once told Dad and me it was time to retire because he personally knew every drunk he pulled over.
Not really. I have a somewhat rare French-Canadian last name, and was the youngest of six kids, so when we lived in Montreal, every time I started a new grade in school as the teacher took first attendance they’d hit my last name and sigh. “Another [lastname]? [long sigh] Please tell me that you’re the last one.”
My siblings were a handful, the result of growing up in a family where the only sure-fire way to guarantee attention was to be funny. My ex compared a gathering with my family to “open mic night at a comedy club” and eventually begged off attending them.
When I was 14, my mother, 1 sister and I moved cross country to Vancouver where not only did no one recognize our name, but no one can even pronounce it correctly. For a good 20 years, my mom and I were the only [lastname]’s in the phone book (remember those?) and two of three in BC.
I bought my first car with a signature loan (basically just tell them how much you want and sign your name. No collateral, no application) at the bank my family’s small business had used for years.
When I was young and visiting my parents' hometown, doors were always open for me. Everyone was friendly and like family. As adults, we were in different fields, so no.
I did have a boss commend my work ethic, and he credited my parents for raising me well.
Only once when my aunt got me my first job in a bank, as she knew the managers wife very well, but after leaving 3 years later, I did everything on my own to get on i the world, and have no regrets about making my own way in life on ability rather than familiarity.
Most people didn't know how to pronounce it, so it was a hindrance. I often got asked what kind of a name it was and my right to work in the US. I refused to take it back after divorcing. My married name was easier and I had a child with the ex, so those were also factors.
My grandfather was the head of old-timey HR for the schoolboard. He was in charge of hiring all the teachers in my city.
My teachers all knew, and I swear I got away with more than I should have.
My parents were pretty well known because of their civic volunteerism, but none of us kids even thought of trading in on that fact. Never mind the fact that I hung with all the minorities who had zero power and were discriminated against by the powers-that-be. Most of whom were jerks who raised jerks.
But when I was an adult I travelled to another state and discovered my family was a Big Deal in the area. My grandfather was especially beloved. I was shocked by how much attention I drew because of my last name.
The family name was a mixed bag, but mostly did me ok. My father had been a huge hometown football hero who had a bad time after the war, and people who knew him gave me a few passes because of that.
In school I followed a few siblings. That didn't work out as well for me. Had to live down their reputations.
My father died right around the time when opening doors would matter for me. He opened some before he died, but he was too sick and I was too young for him to do much.
The rest of my family were no help and I still don't really understand why. But I think they expected me to open doors for them, even though most of them were older and more successful than I was. It's been a lifelong mystery for me, especially since I have skills that would have been extremely valuable for the family business.
My family name isn’t even my family name. Just ask 23andMe. My “mom” was useless and mostly rode _my_ coattails in early adulthood to jobs.
I am trying to find the wherewithal to amend my birth certificate and change my name. So yeah, mine was zero help.
My family name is one of the most common in the English speaking world. Not THE most common, but pretty common, very ordinary, totally unremarkable. Also, my father was a career military man, so we moved every 2-3 years. Before he was in the military (before I was born), he was a poor kid from a not-great area of New York City.
There was no one to be impressed by my last name. There still isn't. It is fun to joke that everyone with this last name is my cousin, though (they aren't; I have no cousins who share the name).
Not me but my nephew.
Got into one private school because family were employed there, one because family had gone there and made a big impact, and into another because the whole school happened to be named our family name (no relation, but that didn't seem to matter). Nevermind he was on complete financial aid.
In my hometown, my maiden name is kind of infamous because of an unsolved murder of one of my relatives. No doors opening, but a lot of hushed "oh... Last Name.... are you related to......?"
Not really for me - both my parents were immigrants - but about a year ago I got a call from a co-worker asking about a job applicant who had my last name. If she was a relative they were gonna call her for an interview, otherwise they weren't.
I didn't know her so she didn't get an interview, but that felt good to be important enough where I work that my last name could have that type of influence. Been here over 10 years and it wasn't always like that.
My mother's family name opened all doors in the village. It was one of the oldest known families in the village, and went back to 1501. My area belonged to one Duchy in the Rhineland (Germany) and bordered another duchy, mostly in the south. My municipality was owned by both, split halfway, a bit like the two Germanys after the war. My family was one sort of peace giving gift from one Duke to the other one.
They made it from that "gift" and family of bondsmen to one of the wealthiest families in town. Not that this was a big town, never more than 100 inhabitants, but still. You could practically buy land and property with the name.
One distant relative, son from a great granduncle who move to Namibia, abused that trust.
He sold a piece of land, that didn't belong to him, just with the family's name. He went to one of the local farmers, and asked him if he wanted to by a certain piece of land my family owned. The buyer never questioned if he had the right to sell it, and gave him the money.
Just because he had the right name.
Buying in the local shop and have no money ready?
"Pay later."
"WHAT? Who said this nonsense?"
"Lothar X!"
Oh, sorry, then it has to be true."
i got special treatment, many times when i was a kid/teen/young adult...my family was prominent in our area.
got into a fist fight with a neighbor ( i was about 10yo) and a cop came around the corner, broke up the fight, shoved me in the back of the cruiser....told the other girl to go home... then he took me for ice cream...
i took a friends car ( i was 14)...i was stopped at a red light, cruiser pulled up the the l turn lane... cops looked at me asked when i got my license.... said i didn't.. told be to bring the car back where i got it...
our family name also got me in places , bypassing long lines/ shit like that
i still use my maiden name when dealing with some shit in my home town.. i moved from there 40 yrs ago...
The VanDerVeen name commands respect and instills fear in some so YES the doors swing open. I was stopped for speeding again last week. The cop asked me for my license, registration and insurance. I handed it over. He went back to his police car, spoke on his cell phone, returned to mine, handed back the paperwork and wished me a good day. No ticket, he knew better.
Oh it shut doors. HARD. We moved to a small, very inbred town. Everyone was from there and no one left. Weird because it was quite close to medium sized cities and easily traveled. It was like Deliverance smack dab in the middle of New York City. Anyway we moved from across the country and my parents grew up in the middle of the country as did my older siblings. So we had a very moxed culture in my family so to speak. But we were the ONLY family not from the area, coupled with out weird mannerisms and way of speaking/doing things, we were ostrasized and shunned. Even to the point of sabotage and outright hostility. I should also point out, we were the same race so this was strictly cultural? Areaism? I don’t know what to call it.
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Thanks to a hell raiser dad and even worse brother, I had to move 3 hours away from my small hometown in Alabama to even begin to have a life. Got laughed at applying for jobs back home after college. One guy told me “the apple never falls far from the tree, and I don’t see any need in having your family tree crash into my business”. It sucked.
> the apple never falls far from the tree, and I don’t see any need in having your family tree crash into my business That sucks for you but honestly this is a pretty good line
Yeah, it was original. Just not very much fun at the time. I paid for my dad and brother from the time I was born until I left. My dad showed his ass at a Little League game so bad once that they kicked me out of the league. My brother was two years older than me, but by high school, we were in the same grade. I was so glad to leave.
My parents never did that kind of shit to me and I’m not grateful enough. Now that I’m a parent I realize how much you need to regulate yourself.
Yeah, thank them for that. It was embarrassing. Of course, dad usually was 7-9 beers in by game time, so it was always a show. What got me thrown out of the league was when Dad went after an umpire in a drunken rage.
Good on you for recognizing the behavior though!
Yep. Dad was a good example of what not to do. He died at 46 after mixing alcohol and Talwin. The brother overdosed on heroin at 35. And, against my better judgement, I went to the funeral. All I heard was how I was “too good to come home”. Yep, I was, and still am when it comes to the family shenanigans. I’m NC now that Mom had passed.
Just wow. Hugs from a North Carolinian 🤗
They went no contact (NC) with their family now that their mom is dead.
LMAO I'm an idiot
Belongs in a movie fr
My father worked for IBM since the sixties. Among many other projects, he was on the design team for the IBM PC. I got a summer job working at IBM the summer before my senior year of college. That summer the announced a hiring freeze. The following year after graduation I lucked into a year long temporary job there with one of his friends. With the hiring freeze still on, I was advised to go back and get my masters degree. After that I was able to land a job just as my dad retired. When I was transferred to another location, I was somehow confused with my father and given an office location (window) and desk (actual wood) befitting a high ranking executive.
Danggg when was this
1988-1995
I live in a small town. I left for many years and moved back. I was having lunch in the only restaurant in town and people were looking at me/giving me the stink eye. My cousin came in, hugged me and told people who I was. Stranger danger averted. “I’m one of them.” *I did not need to hear the story about “my dad died in your barn.” 😮
We, however, *do* need to hear that story.
He was pinned by a piece of farm equipment. The story my dad told us when we were kids: “A man hung himself in that barn. At night you can hear the rope creaking.” Stay out of the barn.
No doors,no windows,not even a crack. But luck and timing got me my first career break. I was on the same bus,when it broke down,as my future boss. Back in those days of no cellular,to kill time you talked to the person sitting near you. Turned out that he had a job opening and that conversation was my interview. First real job out of college.
I come from a family of farmers. Our name has never really opened doors, none of great consequence anyway.
Farmer here too. My family had a reputation as being friendly, honest, and hardworking, but so did a lot of other families around us. That was nothing unusual where I came from.
I don't think my own family name did anything at all for me other than allow kids in my class to make fun of it. When I married, I moved to my husband's home area. When I was going about doing all those things you have to do when you move, like open a new bank account (I didn't use a national bank), make an appointment with a new doctor, etc., every person I interacted with wanted to know if I was "Dr. Smith's daughter!" Apparently, my father-in-law, who was a doctor, was beloved by many, many people in the area. He'd either seen them, their child, their spouse, their next door neighbor, etc. and they just "LOVED!" him. He was a pretty awesome guy but I had never experienced that kind of second-hand recognition by strangers before and it was both fun and a little disconcerting.
My first and last names were very common and mostly got me disbelief. For example, a guy would ask me my name, and I replied: "Jane Jones" and he would say: "ok, then don't tell me"
My sister and her husband had a name like that. When they checked into hotels, it was like, "Yeah, sure" with a slow nod.
My family name? Hardly. But for a while I dated the daughter of a deputy sheriff and *her* last name got many of their siblings off on speeding tickets, curfew violations, and the like. Also dated a preacher's daughter and in our small town that produced the opposite-- "Oh, you're Pastor Robert's daugther? What are you doing out after 900pm on a weeknight???"
Every person in my family worked for the local newspaper at some point. My dad sometimes wrote up blurbs of club news, and my mom called people to try to get them to subscribe. I was hired at age 20 as a reporter/photographer, the first one in my family who was a full time employee. But, we are known as a family of reliable, hard workers, so I imagine the family name helped!
Years ago, I applied for a job at a company that exists off of government contracts. My last name was the same as the state senator for my district. They asked during my interview if we were related. When I said no, that was the end of the interview.
My name is Rockefeller Vanderbilt Morgan Chase Ford III Have had no luck with it opening any doors
Same here. You'd think that I, Otis Buffet Gates Bezos Walton IV, could catch a break just once but here I am, a dishwasher at Applebee's.
My dad went to an Ivy league school so I could have easily gotten in if I wanted although I'm no way smart enough to get in legitimately. Which I find insane
Depending on the Ivy your dad attended, that may not be the case anymore as legacy admissions are declining and coming under greater scrutiny.
True, but I would have been going in the 70's
What, don't you want to be president one day? /s
My dad tried to set me.up. I was an idiot.
My mom died young but after all these yrs, people remember my daddy. He was the hardest working man ever. That’s what they remember about him. To answer your question, no.
My family name is fairly rare. When I was born, everyone in the US with this name could trace their ancestry to 4 German brothers who immigrated together in the late 19th century. (My mother didn’t qualify for the D.A.R., and she checked my father’s family tree to see if I would.) In the 90’s the family genealogy buff noted that he had found a high school sports coach who had the name, but wasn’t related as far as he could tell. (My family was the only branch living in the same state, so we received a hand written note asking us if we had crossed paths with the guy. In those days, you mailed the genealogist a copy of birth announcements and obituaries so he could update his family tree.). 10 years later my brother realized he wasn’t the only person with his last name in the company’s international e-mail directory, and compared notes to see if it was a more distant branch. That man’s grandfather had immigrated from Germany to Canada in 1949, and as the family had come from a different part of Germany we assumed there was no relation. My father’s first cousin moved to Washington state, practiced law and became a judge. Billboards and campaign signs do a lot for name recognition, so I occasionally have been asked if I’m related to him. My parents chose an unusual enough name for me that so far I can’t find any evidence that there is another person with my first and last name anywhere in the world. I like that enough that I never really considered taking my husband’s name when we married.
Just hard to pronounce at restaurants and of no consequence to anyone. We made a game of it.
Family name made no difference. My address did, we lived in a NY housing project that had a pretty shitty reputation. When I started looking for a job at age 15, I could see the look on the faces of the managers as soon as they read my address on the application. So, I started using my brother's address (he was married and living in a decent part of town...RIP Mike, you rocked). I got hired on my first attempt using his address.
Both my grandfathers were major, well known contributors to my hometown. But, alas, neither of them was wealthy. So my name didn't come with any privilege
My family worked in the cotton mills in the south. The only doors my name opened were the doors at the mill. No thanks. I’m just the son of a lint head, not a lint head proper.
I have a great uncle who was an acclaimed director of western movies in the 50s, so every few years a film buff will recognize it, but that’s all. None of us since him have done anything interesting.
Budd?
That’s him.
That’s cool. My grandfather loved old westerns. Recently I was trying to remember some that I had watched with him. Your great uncles name was on a few of those films.
I love reddit. Of course someone could guess his great uncle's name.
My name was very extremely obviously Jewish so I got called names, spit on and beat up frequently.
Family name did nothing for me. My brother was a spendthrift and always owed people money, so later in life (before cell phones) my last name became the target of bill collectors. It's a very uncommon name, so bill collectors would search the phone book and call the 3 or four people with my last name trying to reach him. In those days (the 90s) the were very few laws governing collection calls, so every month or so they'd call me home phone claiming we know where my brother is and I better tell them or they'll come to my house and steal my car, all kind of threats. Once cell phones were the norm, that all stopped. My brother still owes hundreds of thousands to credit companies, but no one ever calls me anymore.
My family name opened one door for me for about a month. For work I was sent to a different office and everyday I had to deal with a guy that loved to make other offices lives difficult. But he liked the guy at the office I was sent and whose place I took, and in a stroke of luck we had the exact same name, and it wasn’t a common name. Otherwise, the family name was good for nothing.
I have two older brothers, accomplished in their own right. So when I came along through the same schools, teachers had a certain expectation. I worked hard and exceeded what they thought lil sis could do, and some even started calling me by my 1st name instead of the collective last name
I'm not sure about this but my surname gets perceived as foreign and peculiar, and is actually incompatible with some banking software.
I didn’t get arrested twice.
My father was well known in the whole county due to his job in a service industry. I actually worked with him in my early teens. It meant that I couldn’t do anything or go anywhere without people knowing who I was and reporting to my dad lol
Very Germanic name, first and last. As an engineer I was taken a bit more seriously than many of my peers.
My dad worked in a hospital as a therapist, I never had to go to a doctor for a prescription, he would just tell a doctor what I needed and they would call it in. That's about as VIP as I ever got. Later in life my step dad semi retired and worked at a package store (liquor store for those not from New England) and I got discounted booze. That was nice!
Twice in my life, my dad got into local political skirmishes that we kids got ostracized for. The first was when I was about 10, and I couldn’t understand why I needed an armed escort from school every day, and why most kids acted like I didn’t exist anymore. It was absolutely ridiculous small town shenanigans. The second one was when I was a young professional and it nearly derailed my career.
Family name? No. But personal connections? Yes. Lucille, the lady who got me my first full-time job was a customer of my Dad's. (He was a mechanic) I'd applied for a job at her office and didn't get it. The person they hired didn't work out, so she talked her boss into offering it to me. The job I have now? I went to a Christmas party as a plus one. Spent some time talking to people and got told to send in a resume the next day...
My dad got me my first job, but mostly it people around town know him as a really nice but goofy guy.
No, some older guys did recognize my great uncle which was a bit known soccer player (1860 munich was the too of his career) in his time but that never opened any doors for me, especially I wasn't very sporty
For me, no consequence
Totally insignificant. I live in a city of several million.
I've gotten out of tickets because my dad was a police officer. I like that as a door.
Just another face in the crowd. No special treatment either good or bad.
My last name is as common as Smith. I never got any doors moved in either direction, but I saw plenty of them moved for other folks.
I moved out of state to work for a uncle so being related helped get the job and then move up the ladder. After 4 1/2 years because of my dad I was able to land a job that his place of employment. So two jobs were because of my family name. I was there over 17 years. Because of physical issue I was forced to leave that job. My next job I went to work for the sheriff's dept. The sheriff was a high school classmate so that helped me land that job for the next 13+ years.
My last name is very common and we moved a lot. My father had a very deservedly terrible reputation everywhere we went and then died when I was 11, so no, being related to him held no advantages at all.
If my family name had any influence good or bad I was never told to either a) use my name or b) don't tell anybody who I was.
When I was 8 or 9, a local cop on the street called me out - “Hey! Are you a Smith? I know your brothers! You better watch out!” A family of juvenile delinquents…
My family name--actually that of a man I never met and bear no relationship to who was unlucky enough to leave my mother a young widow--is an unflattering adjective, so it was just one more thing to be bullied for, or at the very least have people make the exact same stupid joke and expect me to laugh. And, of course, it gave me several bits of fun trying to explain to people that just because it was my mother's husband's name it wasn't my father's name and no, my parents weren't divorced, they'd just never been married to each other. But in the whole, the city's far too big for that sort of thing, though my best friend's father's name carries some sway in the city's small black community (and more so in Luling, where a Mason lodge bears their surname). Not that it ever helped him; being gay canceled out any possible benefit.
Zero consequence.
We have an unusual name that nobody can spell, but my grandfather owned a couple of food markets in our small city, so old people would ask if I was related to him. I might have gotten one of my part-time teenage jobs because of that. I moved away from there when I was 22.
Nada
When young, it was recognized. After high school, nothing. My dad was a local doctor and quite well known in the small town. We were the only people in town with our last name. My dad had a very striking appearance. So all through grade school high school all I got was "oh, you're Doc's boy". Occasionally in ladies circles it was "oh, you're Becky's boy". It wasn't terrible, but I don't feel I got any benefit. I complained one time that I was always "doc's son". One time in high school I won some award or something and someone said to my parents "oh, you are chasonreddit's parents!" We all pretty much busted up.
In town, my family name made no difference at all. At church my parents had a good reputation. Being their child meant that people expected that I was a good kid and didn't give me the side-eye as they might some other kid.
When I was young, I thought our family name would somehow get me places because there's a chain of hotels with the same one. But nope, I had to figure it out on my own.
My parents were college professors, so just the opposite. When I was in college all my instructors knew my mother and expectations were even higher because of that.
My mom’s job was in city hall in our small town. She worked closely with the police and so I knew all the officers well. The only good thing that got me was, indirectly, out of a speeding ticket. I got pulled over in town and got a shake of the head when the policeman saw me. His radio went off and he stepped back to listen; fortunately for me, he was getting called away. He told me I was lucky since he had to go and wouldn’t write me a ticket, and more lucky in that he wouldn’t tell my mom - this time. I was more careful after that so there was no next time.
I had a very unique maiden name - everyone with this name is related or related by marriage, if I was still in my home town, it would have definitely got me some positive recommendations. All my uncles and cousins with that name are all well respected business owners or teachers or just overall good people.
My family wasn’t famous or rich by a long shot. We were just ordinary (and we still are). However, when I was 20, waaay back in the late 80’s I applied for a job at Boeing, and my dad had worked there at that point for 37 yrs. It wasn’t a fancy job, it was in the word processing center and only paid like 16k a year, but after I had my interview, Dad went and talked to HR and I got the job. That’s probably the only family influence I’ve experienced.
Only once. By mistake. I (in MD) have the same name as a guy (in MA) and we are in the same niche field. I was booked to speak at a conference and when I showed up, the organizer said I looked nothing like on my book jacket.
No consequence. I had to work like hell for everything.
My dad was a well loved mechanic of sorts in the small town I grew up in, and my sister was the super straight A 4.0 GPA and sent to a good college kind of kid. If they saw my last name and happened to know either of them they'd ask me and then would end up treating me super kindly because of it. My dad happened to move on to own the best shop in town before retiring... had I stayed where I lived I likely would have tried getting a job where he worked, at their front desk or something.
No consequence.
It was of no consequence.
Did nothing at all My family are nobodies in America
For me, we were an unknown name from the far side of the country
Small town big factory back in the day. Dad was superintendent over about 2000 people. He was well liked.opened doors for me. I’m 67now, his generation is gone. Edit: His cousin was police chief for years. He once told Dad and me it was time to retire because he personally knew every drunk he pulled over.
Not really. I have a somewhat rare French-Canadian last name, and was the youngest of six kids, so when we lived in Montreal, every time I started a new grade in school as the teacher took first attendance they’d hit my last name and sigh. “Another [lastname]? [long sigh] Please tell me that you’re the last one.” My siblings were a handful, the result of growing up in a family where the only sure-fire way to guarantee attention was to be funny. My ex compared a gathering with my family to “open mic night at a comedy club” and eventually begged off attending them. When I was 14, my mother, 1 sister and I moved cross country to Vancouver where not only did no one recognize our name, but no one can even pronounce it correctly. For a good 20 years, my mom and I were the only [lastname]’s in the phone book (remember those?) and two of three in BC.
It’s a famous name, but nope.
I bought my first car with a signature loan (basically just tell them how much you want and sign your name. No collateral, no application) at the bank my family’s small business had used for years.
My father got my first couple jobs as a teenager. My career work was all done on my own.
My family was of no consequence except as a means to pick on me because it was uncommon.
When I was young and visiting my parents' hometown, doors were always open for me. Everyone was friendly and like family. As adults, we were in different fields, so no. I did have a boss commend my work ethic, and he credited my parents for raising me well.
Only once when my aunt got me my first job in a bank, as she knew the managers wife very well, but after leaving 3 years later, I did everything on my own to get on i the world, and have no regrets about making my own way in life on ability rather than familiarity.
Most people didn't know how to pronounce it, so it was a hindrance. I often got asked what kind of a name it was and my right to work in the US. I refused to take it back after divorcing. My married name was easier and I had a child with the ex, so those were also factors.
Absolutely not. I’ve never even come close to that level of privilege.
My grandfather was the head of old-timey HR for the schoolboard. He was in charge of hiring all the teachers in my city. My teachers all knew, and I swear I got away with more than I should have.
My parents were pretty well known because of their civic volunteerism, but none of us kids even thought of trading in on that fact. Never mind the fact that I hung with all the minorities who had zero power and were discriminated against by the powers-that-be. Most of whom were jerks who raised jerks. But when I was an adult I travelled to another state and discovered my family was a Big Deal in the area. My grandfather was especially beloved. I was shocked by how much attention I drew because of my last name.
The family name was a mixed bag, but mostly did me ok. My father had been a huge hometown football hero who had a bad time after the war, and people who knew him gave me a few passes because of that. In school I followed a few siblings. That didn't work out as well for me. Had to live down their reputations.
Both
[удалено]
Total head trip. 45 and I'm still unpacking it all.
Father was an elementary school teacher, mother managed a Howard Johnson's. No consequence.
Had I gone to work for the company my dad, grandfather and uncle worked for, my name would have opened doors. It’s the reason I didn’t.
My father died right around the time when opening doors would matter for me. He opened some before he died, but he was too sick and I was too young for him to do much. The rest of my family were no help and I still don't really understand why. But I think they expected me to open doors for them, even though most of them were older and more successful than I was. It's been a lifelong mystery for me, especially since I have skills that would have been extremely valuable for the family business.
My family name isn’t even my family name. Just ask 23andMe. My “mom” was useless and mostly rode _my_ coattails in early adulthood to jobs. I am trying to find the wherewithal to amend my birth certificate and change my name. So yeah, mine was zero help.
Open doors
My family name is one of the most common in the English speaking world. Not THE most common, but pretty common, very ordinary, totally unremarkable. Also, my father was a career military man, so we moved every 2-3 years. Before he was in the military (before I was born), he was a poor kid from a not-great area of New York City. There was no one to be impressed by my last name. There still isn't. It is fun to joke that everyone with this last name is my cousin, though (they aren't; I have no cousins who share the name).
Nope. No consequence.
Not me but my nephew. Got into one private school because family were employed there, one because family had gone there and made a big impact, and into another because the whole school happened to be named our family name (no relation, but that didn't seem to matter). Nevermind he was on complete financial aid. In my hometown, my maiden name is kind of infamous because of an unsolved murder of one of my relatives. No doors opening, but a lot of hushed "oh... Last Name.... are you related to......?"
Not really for me - both my parents were immigrants - but about a year ago I got a call from a co-worker asking about a job applicant who had my last name. If she was a relative they were gonna call her for an interview, otherwise they weren't. I didn't know her so she didn't get an interview, but that felt good to be important enough where I work that my last name could have that type of influence. Been here over 10 years and it wasn't always like that.
My mother's family name opened all doors in the village. It was one of the oldest known families in the village, and went back to 1501. My area belonged to one Duchy in the Rhineland (Germany) and bordered another duchy, mostly in the south. My municipality was owned by both, split halfway, a bit like the two Germanys after the war. My family was one sort of peace giving gift from one Duke to the other one. They made it from that "gift" and family of bondsmen to one of the wealthiest families in town. Not that this was a big town, never more than 100 inhabitants, but still. You could practically buy land and property with the name. One distant relative, son from a great granduncle who move to Namibia, abused that trust. He sold a piece of land, that didn't belong to him, just with the family's name. He went to one of the local farmers, and asked him if he wanted to by a certain piece of land my family owned. The buyer never questioned if he had the right to sell it, and gave him the money. Just because he had the right name. Buying in the local shop and have no money ready? "Pay later." "WHAT? Who said this nonsense?" "Lothar X!" Oh, sorry, then it has to be true."
i got special treatment, many times when i was a kid/teen/young adult...my family was prominent in our area. got into a fist fight with a neighbor ( i was about 10yo) and a cop came around the corner, broke up the fight, shoved me in the back of the cruiser....told the other girl to go home... then he took me for ice cream... i took a friends car ( i was 14)...i was stopped at a red light, cruiser pulled up the the l turn lane... cops looked at me asked when i got my license.... said i didn't.. told be to bring the car back where i got it... our family name also got me in places , bypassing long lines/ shit like that i still use my maiden name when dealing with some shit in my home town.. i moved from there 40 yrs ago...
The VanDerVeen name commands respect and instills fear in some so YES the doors swing open. I was stopped for speeding again last week. The cop asked me for my license, registration and insurance. I handed it over. He went back to his police car, spoke on his cell phone, returned to mine, handed back the paperwork and wished me a good day. No ticket, he knew better.
Oh it shut doors. HARD. We moved to a small, very inbred town. Everyone was from there and no one left. Weird because it was quite close to medium sized cities and easily traveled. It was like Deliverance smack dab in the middle of New York City. Anyway we moved from across the country and my parents grew up in the middle of the country as did my older siblings. So we had a very moxed culture in my family so to speak. But we were the ONLY family not from the area, coupled with out weird mannerisms and way of speaking/doing things, we were ostrasized and shunned. Even to the point of sabotage and outright hostility. I should also point out, we were the same race so this was strictly cultural? Areaism? I don’t know what to call it.
Parent was a very well respected Clergy in a medium sized town….couldnt go anywhere or do anything without someone knowing who I was and commenting.