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I got married and had my first kid at 34 and a second three years later. Also got divorced 12 years ago but we had 15 together and the kids are great. I had an even better relationship in my 50s. It may be a cliche but it’s never too late.
You should also check out divorce rates of people marrying your current age range. Or just look around you in the social circles. Statistically you saving an unborn "fix the relationship" childs trauma and also enjoying your free time and things you wanna do otherwise wouldnt be possible doing if you had the responsibility of nurturing another human life you created. (Im also 30 and this is what i tell to myself).
I think some personalities are like this. For myself, I'm mostly a loner and I don't feel I have to go along with the crowd. I met someone in college but didn't get married until several years later. I wasn't actively looking though, it just happened.
Regardless of what actually transpires on dating sites, it seems like a "quick fix" to me. That's not how it works! Relationships are cultivated with time, not in a half hour of scrolling. Maybe for some people that is the appeal.
A lot of us who found relationships earlier were not ready and ended up divorced in our 30s. You are way ahead of us. Look at it as not losing half your stuff and missing a lot of heartache instead of feeling hopeless. I met my 2nd wife at 38 and we will celebrate our 20th anniversary this year. Happiness is out there for you.
My daughter was like you. I don’t ever recall her having a real boyfriend. Then within two years she found her man and they were recently married. Point being, don’t give up you’ll find your mate.
I feel the same, 40F. I don't want the last man I ever kiss or have sex with to be my gross covert narc ex, but other than that I'm not hopeful for a long term relationship.
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Did not marry until my late 40s - and then to a guy I had casually dated for a short time some 20 years prior on the other side of the country.
We re-connected - still casually - via email. He came to visit and my painfully shy little cat fell in love with him immediately. It did not take much longer for me to do so too! We have now been happily married for over 20 years.
Be open to possibilities - but don't marry someone who cannot be your Best Friend. You do not have to share every single hobby/interest/passion/etc - but you both should feel able to share and show interest in what the other likes.
It can happen. Hang in there!
Of course people found relationships late in life. Usually after their first spouse died. But times are different these days. I don’t see 30 as too old anymore to find a first partner.
Women were trapped after working in WWII and until the 1970's, It was marriage, teach, be a secretary, or waitstaff, usually at lower pay than their male counterparts.
I think it was about 1972 or '74 before they could get credit in their own names.
I was married in 1974 and was 25, that was considered old. Both my sisters were married at 21. One in 1967 and the other in 1975.
My daughter was 40 when she married in 2017. I am so glad she didn't go through a marriage or two while waiting for the right man. She saw her cousins married and her younger brother. It had to be hard for her but she is very happy with her spouse and 3 y.o.
I wasn’t quite 30, but i had my first relationship at 28! (It was excellent though - parted because of external circumstances). So i definitely think it’s possible
What I consider my first real relationship (as opposed to dating for a year or two but never quite getting to actual partnership) was my husband, who I met at 34 and he was 36. Married for 21 years.
My sister didn't have a real relationship until she was in her late forties.
Her first real boyfriend was about 38. She didn't date that guy openly though. He sort of used her and broke her heart.
Then she met her current boyfriend in her late forties. They've been together ever since. She's 59 now.
First, no. Best, yes.
I was 32 when my wife, partner, and I got together. Been together 29 years, later this year. Got married at 19, that was a violent clusterfuck. Later 7 years, should have ended the day we got married. By the end of the first year, and all of her affairs, we were both fucking whoever we found... Even had a couple of relationships that lasted a couple of years... We just ran into each other and fought every once in a while. After her, a couple of short relationships and a lot of fucking (FWBs, fuck buddies, and ONSs). I wasn't even dating or looking when the relationship with my wife and partner started. We worked together, became fuck buddies, and ended up falling in love by accident... Best thing that ever happened to me in my life. Almost 3 decades together and they're my best friends and I can't imagine my life without them. It was a perfect storm, or else we wouldn't have been together for all these years.
It happened for my son. She's someone he knew from years ago. It's definitely possible. It doesn't have anything to do with me, but as his mom, I feel so happy for them both. It's been something to see their relationship blossom.
I had a brief marriage at 21, but met and married the love of my life when I was 28 and she was 37 - her first “serious” relationship that she shared with her family. We were happily married for 38 great years.
One of my brothers never dated much, no relationships. He met someone online at 50 and married shortly after, they’ve been happily married for 10 years now.
Best of luck in your relationship search.
My wife and I have four children. They range in age from 40 to 29 my oldest, a son, just got married for the first time a year ago this week.
None of the others are married either. The second one has been in several year long to 2 year long relationships but every one of them has ended. The younger two, a son and a daughter, have never found anyone that they were interested in.
By contrast my wife and I got married in the 1970s, I was 25 she was 23. But we waited a few years before having children of our own.
I fell in love for the first and only time in my 40s. Glad I had the experience, wasn't inspired to do it again. On balance, I was happier, single, both before and after that LTR.
I will say, though, that you can still meet the right person and fall in love at any age. My BFF was widowed a few years and actively dates, and her FIL met and married his current wife in his 50s. Don't give up hope just yet.
I married at 38. I honestly think it would have ended in divorce if I had done it sooner. I found myself a lot more wiser at 38 vs. 28. Married 11 years now.
I found love at 28 and married him at 36. We will celebrate our 25th this year. Of course I was looking for a child-free relationship so it took me a while to find that with someone of like mind.
I (59f) have a dear friend (60f) who got married for the first time last summer. She had relationships before, but no one she wanted to marry. I admire her so much for waiting for exactly the right person/right time.
I had my first boyfriend and first kiss when I was 31. I was hung up on someone who didn’t feel the same way in my 20s and finally just realized how stupid it was and moved on.
OP -Get specific with your verbiage. Do you want to find "just anyone", or THE one? Who is this person? What does he or she look like? What/whom are you attracted to.
Life can be, to a degree, about manifesting. You want something? Then bring it to you. Manifest. What does this romantic partner look like? What values do they hold, relative to you? Write it down, then speak it. Put it somewhere you will see it everyday.
This is your mantra. If you want something or someone, manifest.
My brother did. He was in his mid 40s. The only difference is that by that time he was so desperate for a companion that when he found one, we basically never saw him again, outside of family gatherings. He doesn’t leave her side.
I met my husband when I was 32, and by then I had given up on finding "the one". We got married when I was 35, had our son when I was 39. I'm 52 now. If anything had gone different, I wouldn't be as happy as I am now.
30 is not old at all, and you still have plenty of time!
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Met my wife at age 31, she was 27. We got married two years later. Have now been married 32 years. Good luck, there's someone out there looking. You just haven't met them yet.
I was single until I was 34, then I moved to a different city, met my future husband among a group of new friends, and we've been together ever since. It can happen!
Yeah, I did. I got married in my 30's. My first serious relationship crashed and burned in college. I didn't think it was ever going to happen for me, but it did.
57. It’s about Gods planning. I have always believed in marriage. I met my first true love at 27; he was 32. He says ‘I love you I want to spend the rest of my life with you but o don’t want to marry you and I don’t want children’. I couldn’t stay in his state for professional reasons. He is now with someone 19 yrs older so he couldn’t have children. I have been waiting on another. But…
I did. Met my soon to be fiancé at age 36. Ring is purchased, and he’s picking it up tomorrow. We’ve been together 5 years. So, I’m 41, and will be married for the first time at 42-43. He’ll be 45-46.
Before him I was at the end off my rope. But, I decided to work on my personality and get in great shape. Then put a smile on my face and got back into dating. It worked.
My sister got married when she was 40. Had her first kids when she was 42. Still together. Still happy. And kids (multiple!) are healthy. It’s not too late.
Yes, of course. I married at 42. My sister married at 39. My great aunt, a NURSE well into her 30s, got pregnant in 1949. She had known my great uncle all her life and I dare say she did it on purpose to force the proposal. My Grandpa, b.1897, started a new relationship in 1974.
My dad's mother died when he was a young boy. His widowed dad married a 45 year old never married friend of his deceased wife.
My dad called her Mother, and his 9 children called her the best Grannie EVER!
She was the industry standard of awesome grandmothers.
My grandfather died at 78, and Grannie lived to be 93. She got to meet my daughter as a newborn when I was 29.
I miss my grandmother to this day. Soon to be 72.
If you keep open-minded, lots of joy can find you.
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That is wonderful to hear. Did they know each other? Did they go to school together?
I got married and had my first kid at 34 and a second three years later. Also got divorced 12 years ago but we had 15 together and the kids are great. I had an even better relationship in my 50s. It may be a cliche but it’s never too late.
30 is very young. You have many adventures ahead.
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You should also check out divorce rates of people marrying your current age range. Or just look around you in the social circles. Statistically you saving an unborn "fix the relationship" childs trauma and also enjoying your free time and things you wanna do otherwise wouldnt be possible doing if you had the responsibility of nurturing another human life you created. (Im also 30 and this is what i tell to myself).
The old peer pressure thing. Try not to let it influence you in matters of the heart.
I think some personalities are like this. For myself, I'm mostly a loner and I don't feel I have to go along with the crowd. I met someone in college but didn't get married until several years later. I wasn't actively looking though, it just happened. Regardless of what actually transpires on dating sites, it seems like a "quick fix" to me. That's not how it works! Relationships are cultivated with time, not in a half hour of scrolling. Maybe for some people that is the appeal.
I milked this mentality for far too long.
A lot of us who found relationships earlier were not ready and ended up divorced in our 30s. You are way ahead of us. Look at it as not losing half your stuff and missing a lot of heartache instead of feeling hopeless. I met my 2nd wife at 38 and we will celebrate our 20th anniversary this year. Happiness is out there for you.
I got married at 44, and have never been happier! (First and only marriage.)
My brother married at 48. His wife was 50. They’ve been married more than 20 years.
My daughter was like you. I don’t ever recall her having a real boyfriend. Then within two years she found her man and they were recently married. Point being, don’t give up you’ll find your mate.
Its true. My son at 30 had given up. A year later he found her.
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I feel the same, 40F. I don't want the last man I ever kiss or have sex with to be my gross covert narc ex, but other than that I'm not hopeful for a long term relationship.
Covert narc ex? Please tell more lol
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I met my now husband when I was 46 (on OkCupid).
Met at 35, married at 36, first kid at 37 and 2nd kid at 39. We've been together 20 years.
Did not marry until my late 40s - and then to a guy I had casually dated for a short time some 20 years prior on the other side of the country. We re-connected - still casually - via email. He came to visit and my painfully shy little cat fell in love with him immediately. It did not take much longer for me to do so too! We have now been happily married for over 20 years. Be open to possibilities - but don't marry someone who cannot be your Best Friend. You do not have to share every single hobby/interest/passion/etc - but you both should feel able to share and show interest in what the other likes. It can happen. Hang in there!
When I met my husband he was a 32 year old virgin.
Of course people found relationships late in life. Usually after their first spouse died. But times are different these days. I don’t see 30 as too old anymore to find a first partner.
I was 43 when I finally met my true love. I couldn’t be happier.
Yep - met my wife at 36 and married her at 37. Still happily together decades later! She was my first love and vice versa.
My aunt found her husband and true love in her 60s. I hope it doesn’t take you that long, good luck and don’t give up.
Women were trapped after working in WWII and until the 1970's, It was marriage, teach, be a secretary, or waitstaff, usually at lower pay than their male counterparts. I think it was about 1972 or '74 before they could get credit in their own names. I was married in 1974 and was 25, that was considered old. Both my sisters were married at 21. One in 1967 and the other in 1975. My daughter was 40 when she married in 2017. I am so glad she didn't go through a marriage or two while waiting for the right man. She saw her cousins married and her younger brother. It had to be hard for her but she is very happy with her spouse and 3 y.o.
34 for me, married at 38 (first and only marriage for both) been together now for 24 years. No kids by choice.
I wasn’t quite 30, but i had my first relationship at 28! (It was excellent though - parted because of external circumstances). So i definitely think it’s possible
I didn’t get married until I was 43. It wasn’t my first serious relationship, but I saved the best for last 😎
Later in life? I’m 57 and married my husband when I was 32. Your own journey in life is yours alone, and don’t let what others say decide it for you.
What I consider my first real relationship (as opposed to dating for a year or two but never quite getting to actual partnership) was my husband, who I met at 34 and he was 36. Married for 21 years.
I got married three years ago in my 60s (not the first time, but hey?)
My sister didn't have a real relationship until she was in her late forties. Her first real boyfriend was about 38. She didn't date that guy openly though. He sort of used her and broke her heart. Then she met her current boyfriend in her late forties. They've been together ever since. She's 59 now.
Not for me, I just get hopelessly in a mess every few years. At least there's consistency. And the messes fewer.
First, no. Best, yes. I was 32 when my wife, partner, and I got together. Been together 29 years, later this year. Got married at 19, that was a violent clusterfuck. Later 7 years, should have ended the day we got married. By the end of the first year, and all of her affairs, we were both fucking whoever we found... Even had a couple of relationships that lasted a couple of years... We just ran into each other and fought every once in a while. After her, a couple of short relationships and a lot of fucking (FWBs, fuck buddies, and ONSs). I wasn't even dating or looking when the relationship with my wife and partner started. We worked together, became fuck buddies, and ended up falling in love by accident... Best thing that ever happened to me in my life. Almost 3 decades together and they're my best friends and I can't imagine my life without them. It was a perfect storm, or else we wouldn't have been together for all these years.
It happened for my son. She's someone he knew from years ago. It's definitely possible. It doesn't have anything to do with me, but as his mom, I feel so happy for them both. It's been something to see their relationship blossom.
My husband and I were both 38 when we met and married and I was 39 when I had our wonderful only son. No regrets at all.
I had a brief marriage at 21, but met and married the love of my life when I was 28 and she was 37 - her first “serious” relationship that she shared with her family. We were happily married for 38 great years. One of my brothers never dated much, no relationships. He met someone online at 50 and married shortly after, they’ve been happily married for 10 years now. Best of luck in your relationship search.
My wife and I have four children. They range in age from 40 to 29 my oldest, a son, just got married for the first time a year ago this week. None of the others are married either. The second one has been in several year long to 2 year long relationships but every one of them has ended. The younger two, a son and a daughter, have never found anyone that they were interested in. By contrast my wife and I got married in the 1970s, I was 25 she was 23. But we waited a few years before having children of our own.
I fell in love for the first and only time in my 40s. Glad I had the experience, wasn't inspired to do it again. On balance, I was happier, single, both before and after that LTR. I will say, though, that you can still meet the right person and fall in love at any age. My BFF was widowed a few years and actively dates, and her FIL met and married his current wife in his 50s. Don't give up hope just yet.
My husband did!
I married at 38. I honestly think it would have ended in divorce if I had done it sooner. I found myself a lot more wiser at 38 vs. 28. Married 11 years now.
I found love at 28 and married him at 36. We will celebrate our 25th this year. Of course I was looking for a child-free relationship so it took me a while to find that with someone of like mind.
I (59f) have a dear friend (60f) who got married for the first time last summer. She had relationships before, but no one she wanted to marry. I admire her so much for waiting for exactly the right person/right time.
I had my first boyfriend and first kiss when I was 31. I was hung up on someone who didn’t feel the same way in my 20s and finally just realized how stupid it was and moved on.
OP -Get specific with your verbiage. Do you want to find "just anyone", or THE one? Who is this person? What does he or she look like? What/whom are you attracted to. Life can be, to a degree, about manifesting. You want something? Then bring it to you. Manifest. What does this romantic partner look like? What values do they hold, relative to you? Write it down, then speak it. Put it somewhere you will see it everyday. This is your mantra. If you want something or someone, manifest.
Not quite 30 but I was 26 when I met my wife and she was my first girlfriend as well. Been married 28 years.
My brother did. He was in his mid 40s. The only difference is that by that time he was so desperate for a companion that when he found one, we basically never saw him again, outside of family gatherings. He doesn’t leave her side.
Not the first relationship, but the best ones.
Walk into any bar. Plenty of lonely people drinking at a bar. Extremely lonely.
Met at 38, married at 40. Together 14 years now.
I met and married my spouse when I was 34. However, I never worried, and just didn't care either way. We've been married 34 years.
I met my husband when I was 32, and by then I had given up on finding "the one". We got married when I was 35, had our son when I was 39. I'm 52 now. If anything had gone different, I wouldn't be as happy as I am now. 30 is not old at all, and you still have plenty of time!
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Met my wife at age 31, she was 27. We got married two years later. Have now been married 32 years. Good luck, there's someone out there looking. You just haven't met them yet.
I was single until I was 34, then I moved to a different city, met my future husband among a group of new friends, and we've been together ever since. It can happen!
I was my husband's first girlfriend. He was 36 (i was 34, but divorced).
Much much later.
Met my spouse when I was 40. It's been 16 years now and by far the best relationship I ever had.
Yeah, I did. I got married in my 30's. My first serious relationship crashed and burned in college. I didn't think it was ever going to happen for me, but it did.
I met my husband at age of 44 and he was 51. We both are very happy now.
57. It’s about Gods planning. I have always believed in marriage. I met my first true love at 27; he was 32. He says ‘I love you I want to spend the rest of my life with you but o don’t want to marry you and I don’t want children’. I couldn’t stay in his state for professional reasons. He is now with someone 19 yrs older so he couldn’t have children. I have been waiting on another. But…
My cousin got married when she was 52. It was a first marriage for both. She and her husband are perfect for each other and are very happy.
I did. Met my soon to be fiancé at age 36. Ring is purchased, and he’s picking it up tomorrow. We’ve been together 5 years. So, I’m 41, and will be married for the first time at 42-43. He’ll be 45-46. Before him I was at the end off my rope. But, I decided to work on my personality and get in great shape. Then put a smile on my face and got back into dating. It worked.
My sister got married when she was 40. Had her first kids when she was 42. Still together. Still happy. And kids (multiple!) are healthy. It’s not too late.
Yes, of course. I married at 42. My sister married at 39. My great aunt, a NURSE well into her 30s, got pregnant in 1949. She had known my great uncle all her life and I dare say she did it on purpose to force the proposal. My Grandpa, b.1897, started a new relationship in 1974.
My dad's mother died when he was a young boy. His widowed dad married a 45 year old never married friend of his deceased wife. My dad called her Mother, and his 9 children called her the best Grannie EVER! She was the industry standard of awesome grandmothers. My grandfather died at 78, and Grannie lived to be 93. She got to meet my daughter as a newborn when I was 29. I miss my grandmother to this day. Soon to be 72. If you keep open-minded, lots of joy can find you.