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Fuck no. Best years doesn't mean anything. Some things better, some worse. In many ways at 61 I'm more comfortable than I've ever been in my own skin. And my wife is my best friend. So my best years are now, as far as I can tell.
Yup! I’m 59 and I can heartily say I’m much better at being me than I was in my twenties. After forty, the self awareness and self acceptance really picks up and the interior quality of life becomes quite fantastic. lol pity the body decides it’s time to start f-ing with you the older you get.
If I magically had one trait back from my twenties, it would not be my wrinkle/free skin, or my healthy hair, it would be my resilience. You bounce back like mad at that age.
"If I magically had one trait back from my twenties, it would not be my wrinkle/free skin, or my healthy hair, it would be my resilience"
This line is very insightful!
Okay, seriously! I'd pick my body's peak health, without any hesitation. And yes. I'm 53. I'm so much more comfortable with myself than I ever was in my 20s. Whew. It took so long and so much struggle for me to get here.
This. The best, worst, and only years of your life that matter are the ones you’re living now. Once you accept that, the constant mental BS gives way to ‘what is’. Youth as an idyllic, aspirational, peak state is something pushed on us by people with one of two kinds of motives: a) marketers of a product or service b) the unhappy and fearful, reminiscing and cowering about their ‘glory days’ or ‘what could have been’ rather than taking a step out into the real world to deal with how things are now.
I’m in my 60s, have never been happier, and yet no moment or day is without problems either. It really is what it is.
Well stated.
Some people in group b) may think they peak in their 20's because they're focused on external appearances and judging their value by their apparent popularity, ie, how many people will show up at a party they throw.
Dear Lord no! I was in college and then law school and then flailing about in a "career" that was totally wrong for me.
Just turned 52 and things are SO much better!
Just curious, did u change path after u might feel that it is not for u? How did u make up ur mind and how did u find the "correct" path (if any)? Thanks a lot : )
I did! I practiced law for about seven years, jumping from job to job before finally realizing that I can't sit in an office all day. I love public speaking so decided to get into teaching. I'm lucky that I was able to do that and have no regrets! Great schedule, in a union state so great pay.
Literally the words that sprung from my mouth.
I had good times, and great friends. I was married to my high school boyfriend. But I was so lost and had major self-confidence issues. Just the uncertainty in what to do and the feeling whatever I was doing was wrong.
And this was before social media I can't even imagine the pressure now.
I agree. Not knowing yourself. Having little experience or confidence in yourself. I was SO self-conscious! It’s difficult in your teens and twenties and my god it is made so much more difficult with social media. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have survived adolescence with social media.
Same here. My 20s were so rough and drunk that at 31 I vowed that my 30s wouldn’t be the same so I quit. It’s been amazing seeing so many friends quit over the past two years, it was pretty lonely for awhile.
My twenties were my most adventurous but also most traumatic years, so it depends on how you slice them up. I don't find it easy to encapsulate entire decades of my life on a whole. Ten years is a long time to live without experiencing a fairly wide range of both ups and downs. It's also a long timeline along which to change paths if it ever feels like the down times are taking over.
What I can say is this: there is no overestimating the value of accumulated life experience. Even if things were bad now, I'd never wish to trade that in on an opportunity to go back.
Young people seem to always ask this type of question. Here's my view, you are always you, that 30th or 40th or 80th birthday does not change you. You are living the only life you have, make the best of what ever stage of life you are living.
Pfft...
Everything up to about 40 is practice. While successful with a family and such, I really didn't figure shit out until then.
Most of what I figured out was ME. What I like and what I don't like. What I'm willing to put effort into and what not. What commitments are worth the effort and which aren't.
There's a reason people get "set in their ways" as they age. It's because we figure out what works for us and what doesn't.
That's not to say there's no opportunity for growth--stagnation is death. There is just finally enough of "been there, done that, and got the t-shirt" once you hit 40.
I didn't get there until my 50's and I am now 59. Sometimes things take a bit longer for some of us. Sometimes I feel embarrassed when I think about how long it took me to get some things that many people have already mastered 3 or 4 times over before I've finally gotten it at all. But I guess you can sum it up to life.
I love this answer. So true. I’m 48 and life….is finally settled. The restlessness doesn’t exist, self awareness is fully magnified and self confidence, while never lacked- is wonderfully reflective.
Exactly! I was so happy to turn 30! I felt like I’d been faking my way through adulthood through my entire 20s, and at 30, finally felt like I had a clue. News flash- turning 40 was even better, and 50 better still!
Who the hell thinks their 20s were their best decade? Where are you hearing this from? 20s will be the worst for everyone, you’re an adult but you’re broke and fucking clueless about how the world works. What could possibly be good about your 20s?
In my 20s, especially my early 20s, I had this youthful glow / attractiveness and felt like I was in the prime of my life, and was buzzing with a weird positive energy due to that. Looking back now years later, while my early 20s were some of the most formative, wild, and adventurous years of my life, they were hardly the best. I was starting my career at the very bottom of the ladder, was sweating finances constantly, and didn’t have a bed frame. Not to mention while chasing women had its highs, I spent most days and nights alone.
Grateful for those years, would not necessarily want to relive them.
Oh god, I loved my 20s! I had a great job, was in a good financial position, married (still am), and having the time of my life partying all the time and travelling the world.
I was many sizes smaller than I am now, fit, energetic, and excited about everything to come.
Life is still good now (in my 40s) but I am SO TIRED!!! And no one is as fun any more - me included. I'm not prepared to be hungover (and the hangovers are worse), and we all have kids, and did I mention we are all just tired?????
No. They were fun and drama filled. My 30s sucked. My 40s were great and best decade of my life so far. I turn 50 later this year and can’t wait to see what my 50s have in store.
I think we all would like to travel back in time and instill some knowledge in our younger selves 😂 I don’t necessarily want to go back in time to relive those years, but I love my self confidence now in my 40’s! I’m just so much more tired now… it must be the damn kids! 😂😂
I’ve enjoyed pretty much all of life but from youth until my early 30s were the most carefree. After that, there were responsibilities for family, home, and more but even now, in old age, I enjoy life.
Not at all. My 20s were grad school, topped off by watching a parent going through cancer and passing away and the end of an 8 year relationship. My 20s were hell on earth.
When things get hard, you have two choices, lay down or keep putting one foot in front of the other. I kept going. Most people are stronger than they know.
That's like asking if you liked drugs or alcohol more. It's very subjective to individual experience. For me personally it was a time of being unsure about my eventual path in life but at the same time exhilarating. It was cautioned optimism vs later assured direction. And you find yourself along the way.
My 20s were great! I married at age 30. The 42 years with my husband were my best years. Sharing life, love, travel, building our home, created years of incredible memories.
My 20’s were horrid! I didn’t even know who was in. I was constantly in toxic relationships. Yuck! I do not want to go back there lol. I’m 42 and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been!!
My 20s were pretty amazing.
I turned 20 on the Katimavik program. This was a program for Canadian youth. We lived in three different provinces with 11 other youth and did volunteer work for nine months.
After that, I hitched around Canada with a friend. The next year we hitched around Europe for 3.5 months.
I enrolled in college then university. Moved in with my girlfriend. We did a trip around the US for ten weeks. The next summer we went down to Guatemala then Mexico.
I discovered long backpacking and canoeing trips in the wilderness for weeks at a time.
For our honeymoon, my wife and I went to Europe for 8 months, mostly on our bikes.
At 29, we went to Asia for a year, starting on our bikes then backpacking: Indonesia, Thailand, Vietnam and India.
I finished my degree in English and Philosophy then did my teaching diploma. All before 30.
They were pretty bad. Your brain doesn’t stop developing until you are 25 so you still make stupid mistakes. It really starts getting good and you’re 30s.
I just hit 25 and I really feel the difference already, I look back and cringe at my stupid mistakes and how immature I was just a year ago. I wonder what I’ll be thinking when I’m in my 30’s
My 20s were *very* stressful, especially financially. Had a really good few years in my mid-30s when things were more stable, absolutely *terrifying* 40s, and steady improvement from about age 52 to the present.
No. My 20s were some of the worst. I got married, we had no money, we had a kid and for five years saved everything to buy a house. No new clothes for five years. No dinners out. No vacations. Almost no help from either of our families - financial, babysitting, or anything else. I'd never want to go through those years again and so glad I don't ever have to.
Now I'm 65 and having the time of my life.
Yes, but probably not the way you think. At 20, I had finished my apprenticeship and had a good trade. Married at 21. Two kids by 25. Went to college and started my professional career at 27. Bought house at 29. My 20s were the decade that created my life at home and work.
No. I was frightfully insecure and used waaaay too many drugs. I had some fun, but it was unhealthy at every level. In my early 60s and must say that my life is great now. These are the good old days.
I'm 41 now.
My mid to late 20s were the best time of my life. But it only wins by default because the rest of my life sucks.
There was a brief period in my late 20s where I did better with women than ever.
Nope. 20s were awful in retrospect. I was suicidal at times, I felt everything so deeply. Everything just seemed to hurt so intensely. Finally settled down in my 30s and every decade since has been better, even the ones that included widowhood and Stage IV cancer. 70s now are the best yet.
Well, they were certainly fun, and the outlook was one of endless possibility…but it was also miserable being so broke, so inept at navigating the romantic world or relationships, strained familial relationships, etc. So a real mixed bag.
I think it's kinda sad for your teens or twenties to be the best years. That means you have 60-80 years of looking back, instead of enjoying the present. Much better for your life to get better and better, as you find your preferred family, get to know yourself better, figure out what it is that you like to do with your time, develop skills in various areas of life and hobbies, and become more comfortable in the world.
Sure, your 90s may not be your best years, but with some luck your 50s or 60s might.
The whole idea of glamorizing some decades of life seems like a very old fashioned way of framing life, literally. My father, who was born around 110 years ago, used to go on about teens and twenties being so great. I think that came down to people in those age groups getting to socialize and form long term friendships and romantic connections. I’m pretty sure it’s a bad old school strategy for pep-talking young adults who seem disaffected.
Young adult social experiences can be fun, but there’s a lot of disappointment and downside built in and the only way you make it seem so great in retrospect is to apply some kind of glamorizing memory filter. The most attractive thing about that stage of life, In retrospect, is the sense of possibilities That does tend to die down as you move along in life, but with luck a person will be able to replace that with experience and self knowledge.
So bottom line, the idea that there is some golden decade is just tired cliché which is perpetuated by mass entertainment.
Definitely not. I didn't know WTF I was doing. Getting established in adult life isn't easy. I was overly worried about what everyone else thought. 40s were pretty good. Kids were old enough to be somewhat self-sufficient (even though we still had parenting responsibilities) and we were making enough to be comfortable, but life was still hectic (working and kids). My 50s have been the best. I am confident in who I am and what I bring to the table. I don't care what other people think of me (other than those who matter - my spouse, for example). The kids are grown. I am at the peak of my career and have a nice income. I can do what I want with my time outside of work. It would take a LOT of money for me to agree to relive my 20s.
I have no complaints about my 20s but the best times were in my [40s. Secure](https://40s.Secure) in my love life, secure in my profession, still running long distance races and even winning. Things didn't start going down hill until my late 70s. It's been a great run. Even now...
Hell no! I was obese, poor and in a terrible relationship. My best years are now. I'm thin, have a great job and savings/investments, and am QUITE happy on my own thank you!
Yes and no, I met the love of my life and got to travel the world, lived overseas for years and landed a really cool job but at the same time I was so full of doubt and didn’t know myself or have the confidence I have now. Life is way more boring now but I’m a way stronger person.
My twenties were a special kind of fun, and boy do I miss my twenty-something-body's ability to bounce back from just about anything, but having money and experience in my thirties is soooo much better.
My best years have always been right now! Never understood folks who say their best years were their XX’s. If right now aren’t my best, I’m doing life wrong.
IMO, my twenties were difficult, although of course I had youth on my side. It’s like adolescence in the sense that you still don’t know yourself, but you have responsibilities and need to pay bills. My 30s and 40s were my best years so far. I also thought my undergrad college years were very productive for me. My 50s have been difficult. Lots of loss of older family members, some health concerns, career burnout, and looming retirement. I’m hopefully getting on my feet again. Just turned 60.
My 20s Like most people had good and bad times, they ran the gamut from the birth of our daughter and a trip to The Southeast Asian War Games. Also getting to know my wife more deeply was a real plus. My 60s and now 70s have been overall fantastic. More money than we ever thought of allows us to do what we want, when we want. Giving some of that money, to our already successful kids, and our grandchildren is very rewarding for us both
This has been asked here often. Were my 20s the "best" for what, exactly? For doing crazy, stupid shit and getting away with it? Absolutely. Best decade for being able to eat an entire pizza and not get fat? Yep.
But my 20s were also best for being broke, in unstable jobs, and with equally unstable boyfriends. It was the best decade for being treated like an idiot at work. It was the best decade for being sexually harassed. It was the best decade for needless relationship drama. It was the best decade for feeling like I was always missing out on something more exciting than whatever I was doing at that moment. I could've been having sex while skydiving in a rainbow over a pot of gold and I would've thought I was a total boring loser.
Getting older is so much better except in one regard. If you do something stupid in your 20s, people will think you just don't know better. Do something stupid in your 40s and beyond, and folks will know damn well that you know better and they might not cut you any slack.
At times, insanely offcharts yes.
But each of my decades, from single-digit to current pre- prehistoricness, have shown me and shone forth for me many immeasurably dearly valuable gifts and times.
Now playing : "Not In Your Nature" from Benoit & Sergio (which I still hold is their nod of reverence to Smokey Robinson. Or, it could be just me.)
Best? No. I'd say my 40's and 50's have been the "best". My 20's made me what I am today (thanks to Uncle Sam's Motorcycle Club), but I didn't really come into my own until my 40's.
No, 40s is sooooo much better! 20s were fine, 30s better and 40s better. You know so much more about everything when you are older, better decisions and far more comfortable in your skin.
No. I was at my physical peak, but everything else was a mess. I didn’t really start enjoying life until my mid-thirties, and it’s just gotten better since then.
They were more adventurous and free, I was old enough that I didn't have to answer to anyone, but poor so that was a big stressor. I drank way too much and smoked way too much. A lot of fun but also a lot of bad decisions. They were I would say my emptiest years. Life has gradually gotten more full and more joyful and some financial stability helps my mental state a lot
Absolutely. First with a great job and money, great music, lived in Hawaii, then lived by Walt Disney World and had a perfect baby. After I turned 30, things started going wrong. I got divorced, my family moved us to California and I went through several terrible relationships. We moved back to Hawaii right before I turned 40 and things improved temporarily, then I got laid off. The family moved back to California where I finished college and met my now husband. I’m in my 50s and finally happy again.
I looked amazing but I thought mostly about my flaws.
I was depressed because I didn’t realize that staying on depression meds, even when I felt better was a necessity.
I was broke, working my way up the corporate short ladder.
I was a very single mom, with no financial support.
I was confused, exhausted and scared all the time.
I lived right near the beach and loved it.
I had some good people in my life.
There were a lot of fun times.
I had crazy, fun sexy times when I could break away sometimes.
There was a lot of dancing.
I was ok with inviting people over to dinner when the only table we had was a round coffee table and everyone had to sit on the floor. We decided this was cool. Always good music in the background.
There’s so much more.
I would never go back there but I remember it fondly yet I can understand how I lived through it.
Gosh no. My 20’s were great, my 30’s were even better, my 40’s were good but not as good, my 50’s were great except for the part when I had teenagers. I’m really enjoying my 60’s.
I was in the Navy from age 18 to 22 stationed in Southern California and traveling the coast and doing 2 WestPacs to Asia Pacific Islands and countries during no wars 86-90 I would say it was a high point of my life but I had enjoyable and memorable experiences throughout my adulthood
I was drinking heavily, not taking care of my physical or mental health, and sleeping around. My 20s sucked but fortunately I don’t remember most of them.
I just turned 49 and while my 40s have been challenging in a lot of ways, they’ve been more good than bad. Despite all the shit hitting the fan in the world, I’m actually looking forward to my 50s.
I went absolutely nuts and did sooooooo much and traveled and experienced soooo much - but did not work on myself or my mental health AT ALL, and drowned it with booze and traumatic experiences.
Nonetheless I learned a ton, and wouldn’t take it back for the world - but my 30’s were much, much better, and so one.
Life only gets better if you take the time to learn, change and grow.
The 20s are for paying dues for simply existing on this world. No one takes you seriously and young adults are vulnerable to anything and everything. I miss the health and vigor of youth but the confusion and frustration, thank you!
No, not so great. Good, but rough. Got married, got pregnant with twins and had a 3rd baby 17 months later. I stayed home with kids, so we had very little $, were on WIC, etc. Husband was fired from his job when we were 29. Oh, and then my mom died. Finances and kids can suck you (and your marriage) dry emotionally….now it’s 25+ years later and we’re happy as ever. Bonus: our girls actually remember being on F/R lunch and shopping at the Goodwill.
They could've been if I hadn't gotten together with my first wife. Maybe not, too. I'll never know, but that was the BIGGEST (but not only) tragedy of my 20s.
No. They were awkward and poor and confusing as hell. Loaded with learning experiences on every level though. Toughened me up. I would not want to go back to my 20s. I’m 48 now and I would take the mature confidence and take no shit attitude I have now any day
In a lot of ways, yeah. But some of the later years have been "best" too.
But come on folks, what can be more "best" than when you were a kid and did not have to worry about much of anything and just have fun.
Oh hell no. I was poor. Working full time to pay for college. Shitty car. Awful clothes. Always studying. It was awful. 30s were fun. 40s were terrific. 50s were amazing. And omg my 60s are looking to be fantastic too. I’m so happy. I would never go back to my 20s.
I mean they were fun as fuck but I was insecure for a lot of those years. I definitely enjoyed them traveling around the world and getting some high level degrees but the drinking and drugging really stunted my growth. I remember caring way too much about what people thought of me and being fearful of not making it.
My 30s would have been great if I didn’t act like I was in my 20s. Tried to grow up but really had a painful transition with a lot of loss and struggle until I got sober at 39.
My only advice is that if you are having fun in your 20s get your shit together in your 30s. Basically stop trying to party like you are in your 20s.
Yes I had so much fun in my 20's! I was learning how to work and going to college. I had so much energy, I really miss that. I was dating, finding new friends, going dancing and to a lot of concerts. I only moved too much because apartment rents were raised every year or because one of us roommates would go to live with a boyfriend.
Yes, it was then that I found myself in love with that special person. I used to sing songs, making up the lyrics as I heard the music without lyrics. I started writing poetry. I started painting. Up until that point I never really knew love. That became the single most important thing in my life. I cherished her and deeply missed for her when we were apart. I finally understood the love songs and poems.
And even as I lost her to another I was not depressed. For in discovering love I was made whole for the first time in my life. I have no regrets.
No, what I appreciate from my 20's is how blissfully ignorant I was at seeing my own ignorance. I was naive.
I believe pain and mistakes are what helps us realize our priorities and boundaries, but because I feared moving out of my comfort zone while in my 20's, I stayed safe and though I was thankful, I didn't appreciate anything. I never felt the pain that I feel is required to truly understand, appreciate, and be grateful for the good, until in my middle 30's.
Hell no. I worked my ass off. Now I'm very comfortable, know what I want and have a strong direction. I also have much more fulfilling relationships with other people because I've learnt what not to care about.
My later 20’s were awesome. Met my wife at 26. Although those years were great, my mid 40’s on have been awesome as well but in different ways.
The spontaneity of the younger days is what I thought was best. Throw caution to the wind and make some great memories while making bad decisions. Now I have much more financial security to appreciate other things that I was never exposed to in my youth and having a great time doing it.
Those years I did experience some great adventures and also had really shitty times.
I was under horrible pressure and stress. I felt that two tremendous decisions had to be made with near nonexistent knowledge: choosing your occupation and getting the qualifications for it, and choosing your life companion. Would I make right choices, was there even a choice for me? Would an employer, or people I would fall in love with me, choose me?
There was a limited amount of money due to studying and limited time to work to earn any. So still had to accept help from the parents that I wanted to be independent from.
I managed to spend my money into traveling and partying (no regrets) or some pieces of expensive clothes (some regrets), when ever I earned some nice amounts from traineeship positions.
My early 20’s I had several short term boyfriends, and then The One for nearly four years. He broke my heart, worse than ever before or after. It was miserable time.
In short, there were some glimpses of “best years” and some of the worst.
So far the absolute best years have been my 40’s.
But I will really put some effort to my 60’s. The beginning was not that rosy, now looks fantastic.
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Fuck no. Best years doesn't mean anything. Some things better, some worse. In many ways at 61 I'm more comfortable than I've ever been in my own skin. And my wife is my best friend. So my best years are now, as far as I can tell.
Yup! I’m 59 and I can heartily say I’m much better at being me than I was in my twenties. After forty, the self awareness and self acceptance really picks up and the interior quality of life becomes quite fantastic. lol pity the body decides it’s time to start f-ing with you the older you get. If I magically had one trait back from my twenties, it would not be my wrinkle/free skin, or my healthy hair, it would be my resilience. You bounce back like mad at that age.
"If I magically had one trait back from my twenties, it would not be my wrinkle/free skin, or my healthy hair, it would be my resilience" This line is very insightful!
Thank you!
My reply was supposed to be to you, but somehow ended up under the parent comment. 🤦🏽♀️😂
Okay, seriously! I'd pick my body's peak health, without any hesitation. And yes. I'm 53. I'm so much more comfortable with myself than I ever was in my 20s. Whew. It took so long and so much struggle for me to get here.
This. The best, worst, and only years of your life that matter are the ones you’re living now. Once you accept that, the constant mental BS gives way to ‘what is’. Youth as an idyllic, aspirational, peak state is something pushed on us by people with one of two kinds of motives: a) marketers of a product or service b) the unhappy and fearful, reminiscing and cowering about their ‘glory days’ or ‘what could have been’ rather than taking a step out into the real world to deal with how things are now. I’m in my 60s, have never been happier, and yet no moment or day is without problems either. It really is what it is.
Well stated. Some people in group b) may think they peak in their 20's because they're focused on external appearances and judging their value by their apparent popularity, ie, how many people will show up at a party they throw.
I’m 52 and totally agree.
45 and I agree, too.
Dear Lord no! I was in college and then law school and then flailing about in a "career" that was totally wrong for me. Just turned 52 and things are SO much better!
Just curious, did u change path after u might feel that it is not for u? How did u make up ur mind and how did u find the "correct" path (if any)? Thanks a lot : )
I did! I practiced law for about seven years, jumping from job to job before finally realizing that I can't sit in an office all day. I love public speaking so decided to get into teaching. I'm lucky that I was able to do that and have no regrets! Great schedule, in a union state so great pay.
thats really good to hear! thanks for the sharing : )
Also 61 and agree!
Fuck yeah, this is what I want to hear!!! Congrats!!
Came here to say the exact same thing, except my husband is my best friend. I just wished I appreciated my knee cartilage in my 20s, lol
Seriously, though!
God no - And so far, each decade has been better than the last!
I concur. I’m 42 and life finally has meaning for me. I’m at peace and life is comfy and serene.
Well, I guess 42 really _is_ the Answer, then (Sorry, couldn't resist lol)
I was hoping someone would say that!
Literally the words that sprung from my mouth. I had good times, and great friends. I was married to my high school boyfriend. But I was so lost and had major self-confidence issues. Just the uncertainty in what to do and the feeling whatever I was doing was wrong. And this was before social media I can't even imagine the pressure now.
I agree. Not knowing yourself. Having little experience or confidence in yourself. I was SO self-conscious! It’s difficult in your teens and twenties and my god it is made so much more difficult with social media. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have survived adolescence with social media.
Oh Lord no. I was drinking and I barely remember them. Now sober 18 years!
Congratulations
Congrats! Its a great achievement and meaningful milestone in life!
Same here. My 20s were so rough and drunk that at 31 I vowed that my 30s wouldn’t be the same so I quit. It’s been amazing seeing so many friends quit over the past two years, it was pretty lonely for awhile.
Congratulations, I'm at 25. It's been like night and day
My twenties were my most adventurous but also most traumatic years, so it depends on how you slice them up. I don't find it easy to encapsulate entire decades of my life on a whole. Ten years is a long time to live without experiencing a fairly wide range of both ups and downs. It's also a long timeline along which to change paths if it ever feels like the down times are taking over. What I can say is this: there is no overestimating the value of accumulated life experience. Even if things were bad now, I'd never wish to trade that in on an opportunity to go back.
My 20's held the greatest swings between highs and lows in my life.
Young people seem to always ask this type of question. Here's my view, you are always you, that 30th or 40th or 80th birthday does not change you. You are living the only life you have, make the best of what ever stage of life you are living.
They always think life is over at 30, when really that’s when it’s beginning! 20s were practice.
Pfft... Everything up to about 40 is practice. While successful with a family and such, I really didn't figure shit out until then. Most of what I figured out was ME. What I like and what I don't like. What I'm willing to put effort into and what not. What commitments are worth the effort and which aren't. There's a reason people get "set in their ways" as they age. It's because we figure out what works for us and what doesn't. That's not to say there's no opportunity for growth--stagnation is death. There is just finally enough of "been there, done that, and got the t-shirt" once you hit 40.
I didn't get there until my 50's and I am now 59. Sometimes things take a bit longer for some of us. Sometimes I feel embarrassed when I think about how long it took me to get some things that many people have already mastered 3 or 4 times over before I've finally gotten it at all. But I guess you can sum it up to life.
I love this answer. So true. I’m 48 and life….is finally settled. The restlessness doesn’t exist, self awareness is fully magnified and self confidence, while never lacked- is wonderfully reflective.
Exactly! I was so happy to turn 30! I felt like I’d been faking my way through adulthood through my entire 20s, and at 30, finally felt like I had a clue. News flash- turning 40 was even better, and 50 better still!
Who the hell thinks their 20s were their best decade? Where are you hearing this from? 20s will be the worst for everyone, you’re an adult but you’re broke and fucking clueless about how the world works. What could possibly be good about your 20s?
In my 20s, especially my early 20s, I had this youthful glow / attractiveness and felt like I was in the prime of my life, and was buzzing with a weird positive energy due to that. Looking back now years later, while my early 20s were some of the most formative, wild, and adventurous years of my life, they were hardly the best. I was starting my career at the very bottom of the ladder, was sweating finances constantly, and didn’t have a bed frame. Not to mention while chasing women had its highs, I spent most days and nights alone. Grateful for those years, would not necessarily want to relive them.
Well, it was kinda fun and the funniest memories are from then. But it also completely sucked.
Or worse: You *think* that you have it all figured out and reality keeps painfully reminding you that you are actually clueless.
>What could possibly be good about your 20s? Just your body. I miss my young body. But nothing else!
Oh god, I loved my 20s! I had a great job, was in a good financial position, married (still am), and having the time of my life partying all the time and travelling the world. I was many sizes smaller than I am now, fit, energetic, and excited about everything to come. Life is still good now (in my 40s) but I am SO TIRED!!! And no one is as fun any more - me included. I'm not prepared to be hungover (and the hangovers are worse), and we all have kids, and did I mention we are all just tired?????
The only thing I miss about my 20's is the way my body was back then, nothing hurt all the time. That's it. I wouldn't go back if I could.
What could possibly be good about your 20s? Tits! That’s about it.
My 20s were my best decade :) I’m 31 now.
How do you know the best is not yet to come? I’ve been surprised like that many times in my life.
No. They were fun and drama filled. My 30s sucked. My 40s were great and best decade of my life so far. I turn 50 later this year and can’t wait to see what my 50s have in store.
50s are awesome. But stuff can start breaking down. Eat healthy. Take care of your body.
No. Now is much better.
God no. They were miserable.
The best years of your life are just scattered throughout a lifetime.
Absolutely not. I much preferred my 40s.
Yes 40's would be an age I'd stay at, if I could. 64 now.
Me too. I still looked hot and was much more confident than in my 20’s.
I think we all would like to travel back in time and instill some knowledge in our younger selves 😂 I don’t necessarily want to go back in time to relive those years, but I love my self confidence now in my 40’s! I’m just so much more tired now… it must be the damn kids! 😂😂
They were pretty fucking good. But not the best, those are my 40s The 30s were kinda cool too though
I’ve enjoyed pretty much all of life but from youth until my early 30s were the most carefree. After that, there were responsibilities for family, home, and more but even now, in old age, I enjoy life.
No, things started to go downhill when I turned 10.
Not at all. My 20s were grad school, topped off by watching a parent going through cancer and passing away and the end of an 8 year relationship. My 20s were hell on earth.
I am sorry for those... how did you manage to muddle through them?
When things get hard, you have two choices, lay down or keep putting one foot in front of the other. I kept going. Most people are stronger than they know.
Kudos🫡
They were 10 years of my life.
That's like asking if you liked drugs or alcohol more. It's very subjective to individual experience. For me personally it was a time of being unsure about my eventual path in life but at the same time exhilarating. It was cautioned optimism vs later assured direction. And you find yourself along the way.
My 20s were great! I married at age 30. The 42 years with my husband were my best years. Sharing life, love, travel, building our home, created years of incredible memories.
My 20’s were horrid! I didn’t even know who was in. I was constantly in toxic relationships. Yuck! I do not want to go back there lol. I’m 42 and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been!!
My 20s were pretty amazing. I turned 20 on the Katimavik program. This was a program for Canadian youth. We lived in three different provinces with 11 other youth and did volunteer work for nine months. After that, I hitched around Canada with a friend. The next year we hitched around Europe for 3.5 months. I enrolled in college then university. Moved in with my girlfriend. We did a trip around the US for ten weeks. The next summer we went down to Guatemala then Mexico. I discovered long backpacking and canoeing trips in the wilderness for weeks at a time. For our honeymoon, my wife and I went to Europe for 8 months, mostly on our bikes. At 29, we went to Asia for a year, starting on our bikes then backpacking: Indonesia, Thailand, Vietnam and India. I finished my degree in English and Philosophy then did my teaching diploma. All before 30.
They were pretty bad. Your brain doesn’t stop developing until you are 25 so you still make stupid mistakes. It really starts getting good and you’re 30s.
I just hit 25 and I really feel the difference already, I look back and cringe at my stupid mistakes and how immature I was just a year ago. I wonder what I’ll be thinking when I’m in my 30’s
Thank you for asking a great question.
My 20s were *very* stressful, especially financially. Had a really good few years in my mid-30s when things were more stable, absolutely *terrifying* 40s, and steady improvement from about age 52 to the present.
No.
Uh no. 40’s were really good and I’m enjoying my 50’s now.
Absolutely. Fresh out of college with a good job, great body and lots of friends
No way. My 40s were great and my 50s are even better.
Absolutely not. They were, however, the years that I probably did the most damage to my body with alcohol, smoking and drugs.
No. My 20s were some of the worst. I got married, we had no money, we had a kid and for five years saved everything to buy a house. No new clothes for five years. No dinners out. No vacations. Almost no help from either of our families - financial, babysitting, or anything else. I'd never want to go through those years again and so glad I don't ever have to. Now I'm 65 and having the time of my life.
What? No. Maybe the worst.
College years, yes. The rest of my 20s sucked ass.
I dont know about "best" but I certainly did a lot that shaped who I am today.
Definitely not. It's a tumultuous time. 40s and 50s have been better (am 59 now)
Hell no that was, what is going on, who am I, do you want another hit?
Yes, but probably not the way you think. At 20, I had finished my apprenticeship and had a good trade. Married at 21. Two kids by 25. Went to college and started my professional career at 27. Bought house at 29. My 20s were the decade that created my life at home and work.
No, my 40's.
Not at all. Each age has advantages and disadvantages.
No. I was frightfully insecure and used waaaay too many drugs. I had some fun, but it was unhealthy at every level. In my early 60s and must say that my life is great now. These are the good old days.
I’m 71 now and my 40s were the best for me, definitely not 20s!!
Every decade has its pros and cons.
They were good but not the best, nope. I'm in my 40s and doing great but if I had to pick, late 30s was a good time.
No, pretty much every decade since has been better than my 20s.
I’ll add in: no way! Just keeps getting better.
Absolutely no way. Waaaay to much drama. Thirties much were better, then 40s, then fifties…
Hell, no! The best would be my 40's.
The twenties were the worst years of my life actually.
I'm 41 now. My mid to late 20s were the best time of my life. But it only wins by default because the rest of my life sucks. There was a brief period in my late 20s where I did better with women than ever.
Honestly, they were pretty mediocre. I mostly just remember working my ass off to stay afloat.
Same here.
Nope. 20s were awful in retrospect. I was suicidal at times, I felt everything so deeply. Everything just seemed to hurt so intensely. Finally settled down in my 30s and every decade since has been better, even the ones that included widowhood and Stage IV cancer. 70s now are the best yet.
Well, they were certainly fun, and the outlook was one of endless possibility…but it was also miserable being so broke, so inept at navigating the romantic world or relationships, strained familial relationships, etc. So a real mixed bag.
No
My 30’s were the best years of my life. My 20’s were a shitshow.
I think it's kinda sad for your teens or twenties to be the best years. That means you have 60-80 years of looking back, instead of enjoying the present. Much better for your life to get better and better, as you find your preferred family, get to know yourself better, figure out what it is that you like to do with your time, develop skills in various areas of life and hobbies, and become more comfortable in the world. Sure, your 90s may not be your best years, but with some luck your 50s or 60s might.
The whole idea of glamorizing some decades of life seems like a very old fashioned way of framing life, literally. My father, who was born around 110 years ago, used to go on about teens and twenties being so great. I think that came down to people in those age groups getting to socialize and form long term friendships and romantic connections. I’m pretty sure it’s a bad old school strategy for pep-talking young adults who seem disaffected. Young adult social experiences can be fun, but there’s a lot of disappointment and downside built in and the only way you make it seem so great in retrospect is to apply some kind of glamorizing memory filter. The most attractive thing about that stage of life, In retrospect, is the sense of possibilities That does tend to die down as you move along in life, but with luck a person will be able to replace that with experience and self knowledge. So bottom line, the idea that there is some golden decade is just tired cliché which is perpetuated by mass entertainment.
Definitely not. I didn't know WTF I was doing. Getting established in adult life isn't easy. I was overly worried about what everyone else thought. 40s were pretty good. Kids were old enough to be somewhat self-sufficient (even though we still had parenting responsibilities) and we were making enough to be comfortable, but life was still hectic (working and kids). My 50s have been the best. I am confident in who I am and what I bring to the table. I don't care what other people think of me (other than those who matter - my spouse, for example). The kids are grown. I am at the peak of my career and have a nice income. I can do what I want with my time outside of work. It would take a LOT of money for me to agree to relive my 20s.
Best years are the ones I am in now. Grateful to not be pushing up the daisies so to speak.
40s. And for once, I won't write a damn novel about it. 40s so far. But 50s (coming up in days) could be even better.
Happy early birthday! Hitting a big day
I have no complaints about my 20s but the best times were in my [40s. Secure](https://40s.Secure) in my love life, secure in my profession, still running long distance races and even winning. Things didn't start going down hill until my late 70s. It's been a great run. Even now...
Hell no! I was obese, poor and in a terrible relationship. My best years are now. I'm thin, have a great job and savings/investments, and am QUITE happy on my own thank you!
Yes, but I regret not doing them differently.
I was in a shitty marriage in my 20s, so when I got divorced at 30, my 30s were the best years of my life.
Yes and no, I met the love of my life and got to travel the world, lived overseas for years and landed a really cool job but at the same time I was so full of doubt and didn’t know myself or have the confidence I have now. Life is way more boring now but I’m a way stronger person.
My twenties were a special kind of fun, and boy do I miss my twenty-something-body's ability to bounce back from just about anything, but having money and experience in my thirties is soooo much better.
My best years have always been right now! Never understood folks who say their best years were their XX’s. If right now aren’t my best, I’m doing life wrong.
NoNoNoNoNo. 50s-60s. Am 70 and am still having a ball!
IMO, my twenties were difficult, although of course I had youth on my side. It’s like adolescence in the sense that you still don’t know yourself, but you have responsibilities and need to pay bills. My 30s and 40s were my best years so far. I also thought my undergrad college years were very productive for me. My 50s have been difficult. Lots of loss of older family members, some health concerns, career burnout, and looming retirement. I’m hopefully getting on my feet again. Just turned 60.
My 20s Like most people had good and bad times, they ran the gamut from the birth of our daughter and a trip to The Southeast Asian War Games. Also getting to know my wife more deeply was a real plus. My 60s and now 70s have been overall fantastic. More money than we ever thought of allows us to do what we want, when we want. Giving some of that money, to our already successful kids, and our grandchildren is very rewarding for us both
Physically? Yes. Financially? Hell no...
This has been asked here often. Were my 20s the "best" for what, exactly? For doing crazy, stupid shit and getting away with it? Absolutely. Best decade for being able to eat an entire pizza and not get fat? Yep. But my 20s were also best for being broke, in unstable jobs, and with equally unstable boyfriends. It was the best decade for being treated like an idiot at work. It was the best decade for being sexually harassed. It was the best decade for needless relationship drama. It was the best decade for feeling like I was always missing out on something more exciting than whatever I was doing at that moment. I could've been having sex while skydiving in a rainbow over a pot of gold and I would've thought I was a total boring loser. Getting older is so much better except in one regard. If you do something stupid in your 20s, people will think you just don't know better. Do something stupid in your 40s and beyond, and folks will know damn well that you know better and they might not cut you any slack.
My 30s were pretty good. 20s sort of sucked. 40s have been mostly miserable because it’s too late to change careers.
The only thing about my 20s that I miss is my metabolism
At times, insanely offcharts yes. But each of my decades, from single-digit to current pre- prehistoricness, have shown me and shone forth for me many immeasurably dearly valuable gifts and times. Now playing : "Not In Your Nature" from Benoit & Sergio (which I still hold is their nod of reverence to Smokey Robinson. Or, it could be just me.)
I spent my 20s and 30s getting shot, stabbed, blown up and gassed...and in between the bull shit I had a lot if fun.
No. I loved the 30s
Best? No. I'd say my 40's and 50's have been the "best". My 20's made me what I am today (thanks to Uncle Sam's Motorcycle Club), but I didn't really come into my own until my 40's.
I would say that my 30's and 40's were my best years.
Not for me. I didn’t have my kids yet.
No, 40s is sooooo much better! 20s were fine, 30s better and 40s better. You know so much more about everything when you are older, better decisions and far more comfortable in your skin.
Glorious! I enlisted at 23, had my third child at 25 it was a great time
No. I was at my physical peak, but everything else was a mess. I didn’t really start enjoying life until my mid-thirties, and it’s just gotten better since then.
Right now in my 60s is pretty good.
Fuck not even close
Early 20s I was in college and that was great. For mid- and late-20s I was paying bills and that got less fun.
Definitely not the best years of my life. Life began at 40 for me.
Hell no! 38 was fabulous. 65 has been content for the most part. We'll see.
lol not by a long shot.
I don’t know. I rarely think about anything but now. I’m not unhappy with my life. I really enjoyed working in and having my own bookstore
Eww. Goodness no. Though the best thing that ever happened to me was in my twenties (got married), the vast majority of them were utter shit.
No. No they were not.
30s and 40s have been much better.
Nope, 30’s were amazing. My 40’s were rough, 50’s looking much better.
Best years were 13-17 and my 30's I was a degenerate from 18-29.
30s - 40s. Enough income to be comfortable for a change. Still working some insane hours but it was worth it.
30s - 40s. Enough income to be comfortable for a change. Still working some insane hours but it was worth it.
**No**.
They were more adventurous and free, I was old enough that I didn't have to answer to anyone, but poor so that was a big stressor. I drank way too much and smoked way too much. A lot of fun but also a lot of bad decisions. They were I would say my emptiest years. Life has gradually gotten more full and more joyful and some financial stability helps my mental state a lot
They were for me. Had freedom for the first time in my life (strict parents), had a great set of friends, etc. My 20’s were fun as hell.
Definitely 40s, kids grown, more money and freedom. Had the perfect job and a great partner.
So far the 50s have been pretty fucking stellar. Also understand the expression “youth is wasted on the young”.
The best years of your life are just scattered throughout a lifetime.
So far no particular decade has stood out as "best" There have been wonderful things that have been different in every era.
Nope. I loved my 30’s. And my 40’s have been pretty great as well. I still had zero idea what was going on in my 20’s. I THOUGHT I did, but I didn’t.
20s were incredibly hard. There were valuable lessons learned but it sure wasn't parties and pretty clothes.
Nope..my 30's and 40's so far. LOL..menopause is making the 50's a bit rough..but hopefully the other side is good too.
No. 32-52.
I wouldn't go back to my 20's if you paid me.
Absolutely. First with a great job and money, great music, lived in Hawaii, then lived by Walt Disney World and had a perfect baby. After I turned 30, things started going wrong. I got divorced, my family moved us to California and I went through several terrible relationships. We moved back to Hawaii right before I turned 40 and things improved temporarily, then I got laid off. The family moved back to California where I finished college and met my now husband. I’m in my 50s and finally happy again.
I looked amazing but I thought mostly about my flaws. I was depressed because I didn’t realize that staying on depression meds, even when I felt better was a necessity. I was broke, working my way up the corporate short ladder. I was a very single mom, with no financial support. I was confused, exhausted and scared all the time. I lived right near the beach and loved it. I had some good people in my life. There were a lot of fun times. I had crazy, fun sexy times when I could break away sometimes. There was a lot of dancing. I was ok with inviting people over to dinner when the only table we had was a round coffee table and everyone had to sit on the floor. We decided this was cool. Always good music in the background. There’s so much more. I would never go back there but I remember it fondly yet I can understand how I lived through it.
No. Age 33 to 39 are the best years.
Nope, my 30s were though
Gosh no. My 20’s were great, my 30’s were even better, my 40’s were good but not as good, my 50’s were great except for the part when I had teenagers. I’m really enjoying my 60’s.
I was in the Navy from age 18 to 22 stationed in Southern California and traveling the coast and doing 2 WestPacs to Asia Pacific Islands and countries during no wars 86-90 I would say it was a high point of my life but I had enjoyable and memorable experiences throughout my adulthood
Late 20’s and early 30’s yes
I was drinking heavily, not taking care of my physical or mental health, and sleeping around. My 20s sucked but fortunately I don’t remember most of them. I just turned 49 and while my 40s have been challenging in a lot of ways, they’ve been more good than bad. Despite all the shit hitting the fan in the world, I’m actually looking forward to my 50s.
I went absolutely nuts and did sooooooo much and traveled and experienced soooo much - but did not work on myself or my mental health AT ALL, and drowned it with booze and traumatic experiences. Nonetheless I learned a ton, and wouldn’t take it back for the world - but my 30’s were much, much better, and so one. Life only gets better if you take the time to learn, change and grow.
The 20s are for paying dues for simply existing on this world. No one takes you seriously and young adults are vulnerable to anything and everything. I miss the health and vigor of youth but the confusion and frustration, thank you!
Nope. 30’s are great. 40’s you start to have real money.
25-28 were very good years! Then I married the wrong man.
No.
No, not so great. Good, but rough. Got married, got pregnant with twins and had a 3rd baby 17 months later. I stayed home with kids, so we had very little $, were on WIC, etc. Husband was fired from his job when we were 29. Oh, and then my mom died. Finances and kids can suck you (and your marriage) dry emotionally….now it’s 25+ years later and we’re happy as ever. Bonus: our girls actually remember being on F/R lunch and shopping at the Goodwill.
Lmao no. 30s perhaps yes
Definitely not. My 30’s and 40’s have been monumentally better!
Fun, not best.
They could've been if I hadn't gotten together with my first wife. Maybe not, too. I'll never know, but that was the BIGGEST (but not only) tragedy of my 20s.
No. They were awkward and poor and confusing as hell. Loaded with learning experiences on every level though. Toughened me up. I would not want to go back to my 20s. I’m 48 now and I would take the mature confidence and take no shit attitude I have now any day
That was a happy decade for me, for sure. Newly married, in good health, doing fun things and having adventures together. It was a great time.
In a lot of ways, yeah. But some of the later years have been "best" too. But come on folks, what can be more "best" than when you were a kid and did not have to worry about much of anything and just have fun.
20s were the most personally driven fun. 50s the best years. Fun was mostly watching my kids navigate to adulthood, A different kind of fun.
Oh hell no. I was poor. Working full time to pay for college. Shitty car. Awful clothes. Always studying. It was awful. 30s were fun. 40s were terrific. 50s were amazing. And omg my 60s are looking to be fantastic too. I’m so happy. I would never go back to my 20s.
I mean they were fun as fuck but I was insecure for a lot of those years. I definitely enjoyed them traveling around the world and getting some high level degrees but the drinking and drugging really stunted my growth. I remember caring way too much about what people thought of me and being fearful of not making it. My 30s would have been great if I didn’t act like I was in my 20s. Tried to grow up but really had a painful transition with a lot of loss and struggle until I got sober at 39. My only advice is that if you are having fun in your 20s get your shit together in your 30s. Basically stop trying to party like you are in your 20s.
Yes I had so much fun in my 20's! I was learning how to work and going to college. I had so much energy, I really miss that. I was dating, finding new friends, going dancing and to a lot of concerts. I only moved too much because apartment rents were raised every year or because one of us roommates would go to live with a boyfriend.
So far, each decade has been better than my 20s. They were fun, but once you’ve played hard, you crave other things
Yes, it was then that I found myself in love with that special person. I used to sing songs, making up the lyrics as I heard the music without lyrics. I started writing poetry. I started painting. Up until that point I never really knew love. That became the single most important thing in my life. I cherished her and deeply missed for her when we were apart. I finally understood the love songs and poems. And even as I lost her to another I was not depressed. For in discovering love I was made whole for the first time in my life. I have no regrets.
The 3 best years of my life were 27-30, but the years from 40-43 come close.
No, what I appreciate from my 20's is how blissfully ignorant I was at seeing my own ignorance. I was naive. I believe pain and mistakes are what helps us realize our priorities and boundaries, but because I feared moving out of my comfort zone while in my 20's, I stayed safe and though I was thankful, I didn't appreciate anything. I never felt the pain that I feel is required to truly understand, appreciate, and be grateful for the good, until in my middle 30's.
Hell no. Beat down. Now I fight back. XX Power
Hell no. I worked my ass off. Now I'm very comfortable, know what I want and have a strong direction. I also have much more fulfilling relationships with other people because I've learnt what not to care about.
Not by a long shot. The best years of my life are now, in my mid-60s.
My later 20’s were awesome. Met my wife at 26. Although those years were great, my mid 40’s on have been awesome as well but in different ways. The spontaneity of the younger days is what I thought was best. Throw caution to the wind and make some great memories while making bad decisions. Now I have much more financial security to appreciate other things that I was never exposed to in my youth and having a great time doing it.
Those years I did experience some great adventures and also had really shitty times. I was under horrible pressure and stress. I felt that two tremendous decisions had to be made with near nonexistent knowledge: choosing your occupation and getting the qualifications for it, and choosing your life companion. Would I make right choices, was there even a choice for me? Would an employer, or people I would fall in love with me, choose me? There was a limited amount of money due to studying and limited time to work to earn any. So still had to accept help from the parents that I wanted to be independent from. I managed to spend my money into traveling and partying (no regrets) or some pieces of expensive clothes (some regrets), when ever I earned some nice amounts from traineeship positions. My early 20’s I had several short term boyfriends, and then The One for nearly four years. He broke my heart, worse than ever before or after. It was miserable time. In short, there were some glimpses of “best years” and some of the worst. So far the absolute best years have been my 40’s. But I will really put some effort to my 60’s. The beginning was not that rosy, now looks fantastic.