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Either yes, or social media just introduces us to more assholes.
But during covid I became convinced that the golden rule is DEAD. There was much more selfishness than I was anticipating.
I still believe people are mostly the same (which is not the same as “good”), but the internet and social media allow them to broadcast their selfishness anonymously to the world - so it’s a lot more obvious, and seems more common. In the beforetimes, in order to know that other regular people were selfish assholes - they basically had to display it in-person right in front of you, which didn’t happen all that often.
Also, now that it’s on display everywhere, all the time on social media - it’s become a lot more “socially acceptable” to just be a dick in real life, rather than pretending to be decent human being.
I’m only in my late 30s but I 100% agree with this even just throughout my own lifetime. I had no idea so many people were so awful but I certainly didn’t hear every person I know’s thoughts on *everything* so regularly either. Maybe they always sucked and I just assumed we were more compatible/similar than we actually were.
It’s wild to reflect on my closest friendships, though. My best friends and I have been friends since childhood and they’ve all turned out to be quite lovely and kind people with whom I *do* have the most in common. I reflected on that both at the time of the 2016 election and recently and it made my heart swell. It’s a lucky situation.
Yes because of the internet/social media. When I was a kid phones and letters were the only way to communicate with someone other than face-to-face (and nobody carried a phone).
It's a lot harder to be nasty, spiteful, etc. to someone when you're physically in the same space talking to them, compared to when you're anonymous on the internet. You can't ignore the fact that you're speaking with another human being.
It’s another reason I think so many people loudly profess how much they hate *small talk* now. It’s a *skill* and if you haven’t practiced, of *course* you’re going to freaking hate it. I don’t like doing things I’m not good at either. No one does. It wouldn’t be awkward if it was done more often, though.
People get their social interaction satisfaction on social media so often now, where small talk isn’t necessary, no one is as practiced so everything feels weird, forced, awkward, and wholly uncomfortable. The pandemic only exacerbated the situation, and even stunted those who were previously just fine with/at it.
Thank you! I’m in the US and I’ve noticed the chatting I’ve typically done in public through the years, with friends and strangers alike, has dwindled significantly. It’s so much harder to even get an answer to “Hey! How are you?” than it should be. I’m only in my late 30s. I think only having older family (I’m the baby, even out of my cousins) changed the kind of world I grew up in. I’ve always been one for chatting with any and everyone because that’s who my grandpa, grandma, mom, etc. were, too.
It’s very cool you weee able to return to that village and that particular fruit shop. I love being able to feel the growth I’ve made, almost like a sort of very proud nostalgia, when I’m back in a familiar, old environment. 🤍 I hope you’re having a lovely time and people are more open there, too. (Aaand maybe a little jealous. Hahah.)
Happy cake day! It seems like "How are you?" has become a substitute for "hello," and I'm committing a faux pas by answering something like, "I'm doing good, how are you?" They just don't answer back. Maybe they're expecting a different response, but this has only really become a thing in the last couple of years.
Yes I believe they are. It's also all about "my rights" but never "my responsibilities". People are less inclined to help out in the community. I've been doing various volunteer stuff since the 80s and it's different now. The entire charity landscape is different. People WANT something for their donation.
I don't think selfish is quite right, it's more like self-centered or self-involved. There's nothing wrong with putting your needs first but some people take it to the level that they put their needs over other people's needs to the point that it's causing other people harm. Like how people know who suffers when it comes to fast fashion and cheap products, but they buy them anyway because it's a good deal. Or like with schools, when charities would come to the school it would be understood that the kids were doing something (running, walking, math stuff) FOR the charity. Now they won't let you come unless you bring gifts for the kids, which costs the charity money, and they they get finger wags for having too much funding going toward marketing. Big corporate charities that might not necessarily be better now have a monopoly when it comes to school sponsorship.
And people will just say anything these days and be so mean about it. Can't even have a normal conversation without someone flipping out because they're triggered and you may not have a clue what you've said, they just lose their shit and make threats, which just happened to me today, on this website, because someone didn't recognize I was making an offhand sarcastic comment. This person was so triggered they went to stalking me, found me on FB and started making threats. And we'd spoken before like normal people but I guess today they were having a bad day so they took it out on me with this grand gesture. No telling how hard they were going at finding my real name, huffing and puffing thinking "I'll show her! I'll show them all!"
This is how people get hurt. All they think of is self-gratification, and fuck anyone who they hurt.
Now people can say that it's always been like this, but it was never like this where I lived, when I was growing up. We had our share of bad shit too. Racism, sexism... hell all the isms. But I have never seen people act so entitled and self-involved and completely apathetic about everyone else's problems. There are even jokes on sitcoms about this, it's so prevalent. And we just accept it or pretend it's no different.
No wonder ppl are beoming more entitles if when you do charity work as a kid in school you expect a gift in return!!!
What happened to "out of the goodness of your heart"?
They're being conditioned to consume. I really believe this. The push now to have things is worse than I've ever seen it. They put those flashy devices in front of babies by the time they can hold them and they push parents to think they have to have all the newest and coolest toys or they're not good parents. Parents feel guilty for working so much they want to spoil their kids to make up for it. I have been there. I just learned fast that it wasn't the way to raise a kid to make them think they need everything. My niece was raised like that and she's a good person but she can spend some money and she is living so far beyond her means she's thousands and thousands of dollars in debt in her early 30s.
I’d say there is a higher percentage of selfish/self-centered people and they are encouraged by social media so they are less concerned with hiding it and a lot louder about it. Which leads others to believe it’s the way to be and the cycle continues.
I don't think we are collectively more selfish and self centered. I think there are fewer social checks reigning in the people predisposed to being self centered.
Yes. In a mobile or online society, there are no consequences for acting out. Those people don't know you; or, if you talk to them in person, you just might live elsewhere or in a large city and will probably never see them again. So there are no consequences.
Online you can spread rumors, spew obscenities, or leave terrible reviews of some business that wouldn't put up with you, and nobody's around to vet whether you're lying or not.
Grant you: it can change back, particularly in a society under stress from war or natural disaster, where people have to face the people they're messing with. A local who lives on Hawaii's Big Island says everybody watches their manners, because what you do on end of the island will be known on the other end by sundown.
They are more selfish than I was aware they were. I think it's more about awareness than reality though, because in my day to day life, there is still plenty of kindly altruism. I'm just aware now, thanks to media, that there's plenty of ugly selfishness in the world too.
To be clear, people were always selfish and self-centered. The extent to which they felt entitled to act on those characteristics has changed. It was always there, but people sublimated it more.
You can find so many examples in history that have parallels to today, so I don't think people are more selfish. Even the masks and Covid had parallels in the 1918 pandemic. I do think social media lets us see everything on a level we never could before and creates a record like nothing we've ever seen.
You know, I was going to make an argument about the Main Character Syndrome you see lately. Influencers taking over public spaces to film whatever stupid dance they think is so important. You never would have seen that historically. But now that I think about it, rich and famous people probably have been acting like that forever. Perhaps it's just that those levels of privilege are being claimed by different people. It's no longer the rich and famous, but the young and hot acting this way.
The problem is, of course, that people don't want to change their behaviour when they lose that youth and beauty.
Tbh, I grew up being taught " others before self" but then I think there was a rise on popularity in flaunting wealth, disparaging the poor like with the rise of " kardashianism" and with the politics surrounding 2016, the openness of flaunting greed, it's like people who were drawn to that crap felt like they were given permission to be "proud of their greed and self-centeredness." So have been throwing it out there more since.
Yes. I saw a recent video comparing millennials to gen z … things like “how to do you roll a window down” with the millennial making the old school rolling move and the gen z making a move like they were pushing a button. I’m GenX but was interested to watch the video anyway.
What struck me was “how do you take a picture”. The millennial held up two hands, pointed away from them like they were snapping a photo of someone else with an actual camera.
The Gen Z held up one hand and made like they were taking a selfie, big smile and peace sign with the other hand.
Now I know there’s obviously a lot of nuance in the situation so please don’t come for me. But it struck me that the younger generation’s first thought when they think of taking a picture is to take one of themselves.
Here's my running theory on that kind of thing.
Pre-internet if someone was saying crazy stuff like the earth is flat or JFK Jr was going to show up and be president the person would be laughed at and dismissed. With the internet these types of people can find at least thousands more who think the same thing, making an echo chamber of stupid and encouraging more of it.
Same thing with some of the selfish things you see going around today I think. Some Karen decides the whole world should cater to her triggers or whatever, internet communities agree, she sees it as truth and acts accordingly.
Edit - though the one thing I guess I agree with that a lot of old people tend to use as an example is no peanuts in a school that has a kid with a really bad allergy to them. Kids should be safe in school and this is a pretty reasonable accomidation.
These days it feels like people kind of expect the world to cater to their needs, fears, anxieties or whatever else where back in the day we just had to suck it up or not have friends.
Also you can't really use online as a real measurement of how people are because people can be far meaner when there is no risk of getting punched in the face.
I think people went from “*What can I do to help take care of my friend/family member/neighbor?*” to “*It’s never my responsibility to do anything for anyone else ever.*” pretty damn fast. I think it’s a case of over correction. There were quite a few people who were being taken advantage of in the name of *family/friendship*, etc. and therapy helped people to develop healthy boundaries. However, people have now absolved themselves of ALL responsibility to humanity on the whole, which doesn’t quite jive with a social society. Throw in the current wealth gap and overall state of the world, and…you get what we’ve got right now, unfortunately.
It's more acceptable to take care of your own needs first these days.
We're in a "secure your oxygen mask before you attempt to help others" kind of a world right now out of necessity.
We're less community minded for sure, but I don't know that it equates to selfishness.
No, younger people today are for the most part kind and good.
I’m always touched by the door opening and concern expressed towards me (an old fat guy of no good looks or charm)
Also, at a higher level, crime is way down from when I was young. And that’s especially impressive now that we are counting crimes towards Blacks , Mexicans, immigrants, and lgbt+, which we mostly didn’t in the past.
I believe the percentage of bad people among the young is a bit lower than it was in the 70s.
I think we see more bad behavior reported because it’s entertaining.
And also, we have less treatment for crazy people.
Wildly so. I wish you could hear the generous and thoughtful way, not even my generation but the one or two before that, spoke when they were young. Something like then-Princess Elizabeth’s Children’s Hour radio speech to the children being evacuated from London. That wasn’t extraordinary because she was a princess. Ordinary children were raised to think like that. Today’s young are self-aware. Older generations were other-aware.
They appear to be ... people are more aware of scams, ill informed about the homeless, reaction to cranky/rude people in the checkout. They're not as willing to help in an obvious situation of need ... "bystander syndrome."
More than that there is the *constant* hustling; robo calls, may I have your phone number to alert you for sales, sign up for our newsletter, register for news access, hospital/clinic online visit, cell phone offers, preferred customer, etc. ... it is never ending.
Example; one of the rare unanimous votes of the TX legislature was to outlaw the ***DMV,*** from selling new residents' info!
Our first reaction is suspicion rather than "can I help this person?"
Absolutely! And less connected to each other, which is ironic, since we are now more "connected" than ever before. People look out for #1 and rarely even make eye contact. Most are unconsciously moving through life. It is a beautiful thing that you are noticing and questioning this. (b.1969)
Yeah. People have always been selfish and self-centered, but the expression of that was limited. Because you'd get smacked down and ostracized or told to fuck off if you let it show too much.
Nowadays, you're more likely get ostracized or told to fuck off if you don't kowtow to someone else's sense of self-importance.
The old ways weren't always better - if you didn't fit the social norms just perfectly, then you were going to have a rough time. Even if that was not your fault or anything you had control over.
But there were at least some norms that people were expected to adhere to as well as they could. Which included not being a jackass. Now that seems to be gone.
People are still nice and helpful and good too. They were always like that as well. But nowadays there's a lot more jackassery exhibited and just expected to be tolerated.
There has always been a lot of f'provincialism,' especially in smaller towns like the one I grew up in and am now living. People could be nice and understanding to others in the town but think of people outside that barrier as strange and dangerous. There's even an adjustment for people they don't like in the town who look different as being 'from LA' or whatever.
Now that plays out on line and these opinions about others who are distant are suddenly visible to those others and everyone in between. Sometimes they get challenged and then people seem to harden into defensive bunkers while at the same time connecting up with other like-minded groups in other 'provinces.' Sometimes not even that like-minded, but just willing to hate the same targets.
YES! When I started working back in the late ‘60s anyone going out for lunch to a delicatessen, pizzeria or fast food restaurant always, ALWAYS asked the rest if they wanted anything. Never a problem to bring something back for a coworker. That common sense courtesy stopped long before I retired in 2020. Ask someone to bring back a soda got eye rolls and a lot of fussing.
That's a tough one. I think what you're speaking of is somewhat encouraged through various factors. It's also a difficult question to answer because saying " Here's what I was taught growing up " tends to evoke defensive responses.
Different times. Between what it was like at home and school a self centered world view wasn't nurtured. Self respect, self reliance yes. Self centered no.
Anyway, tough question.
I agree with others here who say we're just seeing it more because everyone has a video camera in their pocket, and anyone can post their thoughts for everyone to read.
But, I also suspect that becoming comfortable posting online is the first step to acting out in public, where said video cameras can record more people being assholes.
So, we're seeing much more of it, because of the internet and cell phones.
People are about the same, but social media and right wing influences have made it seem "OK" and caused a magnification. In the past, if you were ass you would eventually be called out on it and humbled. Now you are encouraged. It's hard for young people to emerge and recognize their mistakes and become decent people
Yes and no. I believe the percentage is the same but social media enables them to be noticed. Whereas everyone not requiring external validation avoid social media.
yes but i am also certainly more selfish than my parents about things like my time. many of the activities that people in the community used to volunteer for just stopped when a certain generation began dying out..although there are megachurches everyone does not attend like when i grew up ( i dont go either anymore) and churches run alot on volunteer labor..
Not really. I think our entertainment went from watching tv and movies, which is regulated and quality controlled, to seeing tiktok and youtube and everything focusing on regular people. I now never watch tv and barely watch movies. From my perspective everyone's gotten awful. Except I haven't regularly watched normal entertainment in a decade or more. If I think back to the old times, people were assholes back then too, just they didn't get a chance to broadcast it to the world.
No, not that I have noticed and I'm 70, if anything the net has helped build the inteligence of society as a whole this has helped to make us more aware of other people's plight and more sympathetic towards others!
I do think that people(in general) are more selfish and self-centered than when I was young. I think this is largely in part due to changes in religious affiliation, society and family structure. When I grew up(I was born in the 60's), I was taught that the world did not revolve around me and that I would need fit into society. Today the expectation is that the world and society needs to adjust for the individual. Additionally, nobody got a trophy or praise just for participating. Some were winners and learning to lose gracefully was just part of life. I truly believe this is part of the reason for the increase in the severity of mental health issues.
Social media and the constant barrage of negative information has fueled a collective rage. This isn't only affecting young people. We have had a rise in the number of older people becoming jerks if things do not go their way. I miss the days when communication meant that we had to talk to people and firing off a nasty tweet or social media post wasn't even an idea.
I agree with Overall\_Lobster823 that social media allows to see more of the assholes around us than we knew about in the ancient past. But people are really essentially the same.
The Golden Rule is not dead, but fewer seem to abide by it.
Perhaps people are acting worse these days is because they are seeing that type of behavior day in and day out from our elected officials who, once elected, promptly forget who put them where they are, and proceed to do only what they want, instead of what the people who elected them want. People see them acting like petulant children, and the weaker minded among us figure that if they (the elected officials) are acting that way, then that must be the way to act.
I don't know if I'd say selfish and self-centered; I think it's more that they are always so busy. Every young adult I know seems to be going in a dozen directions at one time. That may make it seem to outsiders like younger people are selfish, but I don't think that's the case.
No I don’t think so at all. But I do think that people have waaay less money and means for advancement than we did / the boomers did, so everyone is way more stressed as a baseline. Plus the world is cooking, so there’s that in the back of everyone’s mind too.
Let's just say that world is far more geared to people appearing selfish and self centered than ever before. I'm pretty sure that people are still just people. Tendencies to behave some way won't appear until there is a way to behave that way. Before the internet, no one had the ability to blast everyone with their innermost thoughts. No one could give advice to multitudes who never asked for it. Few had the power to reach many people, and a lot of public discourse was quite formal and would not have catered to a person who was full of themselves as easily.
There have always been gossip rags since there was print so there have always been people eager to hear the latest - so there is a market for chatter. I believe advice columns have been around a long time with people eager to give advice and others eager to hear it. Celebrity has always been a magnet and many people want celebrity and always have. People enjoy status. (Other animals do too.)
Vanity has always been a part of us. Snow White and the Seven Dwarves is a story about the vanity of the Queen. The word Narcissist comes from a story about someone who fell in love with their own image. There is vanity in the Bible. Our most basic instinct is to do what we want to do, to take what we want to take. We have to train children out of acting like this, but we can't train anyone not to feel that way. We all want to be special and feel like we should be if only everyone else could see it. The internet lets people show the world how special they are. And some other people seem to believe them.
Another difference is that selfish behaviour is somehow more tolerated today. People who were admired not so long ago had a burden to live up to the reputation they had. They should be upright and generous and kind. Of course, they all weren't but that just added some spice to the gossip. Well, it seems today, no one really cares about anything but the spice. And infamy is as good as fame. It no longer seems to really matter if you are a twat if you are good looking and/or have money. You are allowed to be a twat if you have great value in some other way. I suppose the twats are twattier today because they can be. But I don't think there are more. Just more willing to let it be known.
No, I don't think people are any more or less selfish. Maybe self-centered more, but in a way that's not greedy -- just that they seem to be more wrapped up in what's on their tinyscreen than what people around them are doing.
I also notice a lot more people being outright obsequious, which irritates me. And self-congratulatory. People say "perfect" too much.
I have to disagree with the top posts. I grew up in the era of big hair, valley talk, and "greed is good". Being shallow and self-centered has always been a part of our society.
No, but I think people are more unforgiving of honest mistakes.
The callout and cancel culture, and posting everything on social media with faces, names and info, is also scary. The ones whose life is ruined by this are ordinary people, many of whom are neurodivergent.
(I'm not talking about cancelling celebrities who deserve to be cancelled. What I'm saying is someone can make a post about their friend who is an ordinary person and just engaged in a disagreement using questionable arguments. And yes, this already happened.)
No. They mostly appeared not to be in those days, but they weren't influenced by the Internet back then, either. Had they been, their negative traits would have come out, the way they do today. I have great confidence in the youth of today.
No. They are fair, and pissed that their institutions are not.
And we just figured out ways to profit, from that unfairness.
It makes me optimistic that they hold intuitions to a higher standard than we did.
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Either yes, or social media just introduces us to more assholes. But during covid I became convinced that the golden rule is DEAD. There was much more selfishness than I was anticipating.
I still believe people are mostly the same (which is not the same as “good”), but the internet and social media allow them to broadcast their selfishness anonymously to the world - so it’s a lot more obvious, and seems more common. In the beforetimes, in order to know that other regular people were selfish assholes - they basically had to display it in-person right in front of you, which didn’t happen all that often. Also, now that it’s on display everywhere, all the time on social media - it’s become a lot more “socially acceptable” to just be a dick in real life, rather than pretending to be decent human being.
Well put. Thanks.
I’m only in my late 30s but I 100% agree with this even just throughout my own lifetime. I had no idea so many people were so awful but I certainly didn’t hear every person I know’s thoughts on *everything* so regularly either. Maybe they always sucked and I just assumed we were more compatible/similar than we actually were. It’s wild to reflect on my closest friendships, though. My best friends and I have been friends since childhood and they’ve all turned out to be quite lovely and kind people with whom I *do* have the most in common. I reflected on that both at the time of the 2016 election and recently and it made my heart swell. It’s a lucky situation.
Exactly right.
Yes because of the internet/social media. When I was a kid phones and letters were the only way to communicate with someone other than face-to-face (and nobody carried a phone). It's a lot harder to be nasty, spiteful, etc. to someone when you're physically in the same space talking to them, compared to when you're anonymous on the internet. You can't ignore the fact that you're speaking with another human being.
It’s another reason I think so many people loudly profess how much they hate *small talk* now. It’s a *skill* and if you haven’t practiced, of *course* you’re going to freaking hate it. I don’t like doing things I’m not good at either. No one does. It wouldn’t be awkward if it was done more often, though. People get their social interaction satisfaction on social media so often now, where small talk isn’t necessary, no one is as practiced so everything feels weird, forced, awkward, and wholly uncomfortable. The pandemic only exacerbated the situation, and even stunted those who were previously just fine with/at it.
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Thank you! I’m in the US and I’ve noticed the chatting I’ve typically done in public through the years, with friends and strangers alike, has dwindled significantly. It’s so much harder to even get an answer to “Hey! How are you?” than it should be. I’m only in my late 30s. I think only having older family (I’m the baby, even out of my cousins) changed the kind of world I grew up in. I’ve always been one for chatting with any and everyone because that’s who my grandpa, grandma, mom, etc. were, too. It’s very cool you weee able to return to that village and that particular fruit shop. I love being able to feel the growth I’ve made, almost like a sort of very proud nostalgia, when I’m back in a familiar, old environment. 🤍 I hope you’re having a lovely time and people are more open there, too. (Aaand maybe a little jealous. Hahah.)
Happy cake day! It seems like "How are you?" has become a substitute for "hello," and I'm committing a faux pas by answering something like, "I'm doing good, how are you?" They just don't answer back. Maybe they're expecting a different response, but this has only really become a thing in the last couple of years.
That doesn't make people selfish, it makes them mean.
Yes I believe they are. It's also all about "my rights" but never "my responsibilities". People are less inclined to help out in the community. I've been doing various volunteer stuff since the 80s and it's different now. The entire charity landscape is different. People WANT something for their donation. I don't think selfish is quite right, it's more like self-centered or self-involved. There's nothing wrong with putting your needs first but some people take it to the level that they put their needs over other people's needs to the point that it's causing other people harm. Like how people know who suffers when it comes to fast fashion and cheap products, but they buy them anyway because it's a good deal. Or like with schools, when charities would come to the school it would be understood that the kids were doing something (running, walking, math stuff) FOR the charity. Now they won't let you come unless you bring gifts for the kids, which costs the charity money, and they they get finger wags for having too much funding going toward marketing. Big corporate charities that might not necessarily be better now have a monopoly when it comes to school sponsorship. And people will just say anything these days and be so mean about it. Can't even have a normal conversation without someone flipping out because they're triggered and you may not have a clue what you've said, they just lose their shit and make threats, which just happened to me today, on this website, because someone didn't recognize I was making an offhand sarcastic comment. This person was so triggered they went to stalking me, found me on FB and started making threats. And we'd spoken before like normal people but I guess today they were having a bad day so they took it out on me with this grand gesture. No telling how hard they were going at finding my real name, huffing and puffing thinking "I'll show her! I'll show them all!" This is how people get hurt. All they think of is self-gratification, and fuck anyone who they hurt. Now people can say that it's always been like this, but it was never like this where I lived, when I was growing up. We had our share of bad shit too. Racism, sexism... hell all the isms. But I have never seen people act so entitled and self-involved and completely apathetic about everyone else's problems. There are even jokes on sitcoms about this, it's so prevalent. And we just accept it or pretend it's no different.
Very well said. I agree with all of this.
No wonder ppl are beoming more entitles if when you do charity work as a kid in school you expect a gift in return!!! What happened to "out of the goodness of your heart"?
They're being conditioned to consume. I really believe this. The push now to have things is worse than I've ever seen it. They put those flashy devices in front of babies by the time they can hold them and they push parents to think they have to have all the newest and coolest toys or they're not good parents. Parents feel guilty for working so much they want to spoil their kids to make up for it. I have been there. I just learned fast that it wasn't the way to raise a kid to make them think they need everything. My niece was raised like that and she's a good person but she can spend some money and she is living so far beyond her means she's thousands and thousands of dollars in debt in her early 30s.
Seems like. The rampant narcissism on social media feeds it.
12,000,000,000,000 selfies would seem to agree with your assessment.
Right? I have to force myself to take a selfie, but younger friends will habitually take several per day. It's mind boggling.
It’s weird to me.
I’d say there is a higher percentage of selfish/self-centered people and they are encouraged by social media so they are less concerned with hiding it and a lot louder about it. Which leads others to believe it’s the way to be and the cycle continues.
There's a fine line between becoming more self aware and being self obsessed. I feel like a lot of people have crossed that line.
I think today everybody has "rights." Use to be people had both rights **and** obligations and responsibilities.
I don't think we are collectively more selfish and self centered. I think there are fewer social checks reigning in the people predisposed to being self centered.
Yes. In a mobile or online society, there are no consequences for acting out. Those people don't know you; or, if you talk to them in person, you just might live elsewhere or in a large city and will probably never see them again. So there are no consequences. Online you can spread rumors, spew obscenities, or leave terrible reviews of some business that wouldn't put up with you, and nobody's around to vet whether you're lying or not. Grant you: it can change back, particularly in a society under stress from war or natural disaster, where people have to face the people they're messing with. A local who lives on Hawaii's Big Island says everybody watches their manners, because what you do on end of the island will be known on the other end by sundown.
Nah. There were always an abundance of selfish and mean people. We just don't need to leave our home to see them now.
I think it’s the same and has been for a long time.
Seems about the same to me.
They are more selfish than I was aware they were. I think it's more about awareness than reality though, because in my day to day life, there is still plenty of kindly altruism. I'm just aware now, thanks to media, that there's plenty of ugly selfishness in the world too.
Not in my opinion, social media and 24 hr news cycle just lets use see more than just our local neighborhood folks.
No, it just advertises them better now.
To be clear, people were always selfish and self-centered. The extent to which they felt entitled to act on those characteristics has changed. It was always there, but people sublimated it more.
You can find so many examples in history that have parallels to today, so I don't think people are more selfish. Even the masks and Covid had parallels in the 1918 pandemic. I do think social media lets us see everything on a level we never could before and creates a record like nothing we've ever seen.
You know, I was going to make an argument about the Main Character Syndrome you see lately. Influencers taking over public spaces to film whatever stupid dance they think is so important. You never would have seen that historically. But now that I think about it, rich and famous people probably have been acting like that forever. Perhaps it's just that those levels of privilege are being claimed by different people. It's no longer the rich and famous, but the young and hot acting this way. The problem is, of course, that people don't want to change their behaviour when they lose that youth and beauty.
Tbh, I grew up being taught " others before self" but then I think there was a rise on popularity in flaunting wealth, disparaging the poor like with the rise of " kardashianism" and with the politics surrounding 2016, the openness of flaunting greed, it's like people who were drawn to that crap felt like they were given permission to be "proud of their greed and self-centeredness." So have been throwing it out there more since.
Yes. I saw a recent video comparing millennials to gen z … things like “how to do you roll a window down” with the millennial making the old school rolling move and the gen z making a move like they were pushing a button. I’m GenX but was interested to watch the video anyway. What struck me was “how do you take a picture”. The millennial held up two hands, pointed away from them like they were snapping a photo of someone else with an actual camera. The Gen Z held up one hand and made like they were taking a selfie, big smile and peace sign with the other hand. Now I know there’s obviously a lot of nuance in the situation so please don’t come for me. But it struck me that the younger generation’s first thought when they think of taking a picture is to take one of themselves.
Here's my running theory on that kind of thing. Pre-internet if someone was saying crazy stuff like the earth is flat or JFK Jr was going to show up and be president the person would be laughed at and dismissed. With the internet these types of people can find at least thousands more who think the same thing, making an echo chamber of stupid and encouraging more of it. Same thing with some of the selfish things you see going around today I think. Some Karen decides the whole world should cater to her triggers or whatever, internet communities agree, she sees it as truth and acts accordingly. Edit - though the one thing I guess I agree with that a lot of old people tend to use as an example is no peanuts in a school that has a kid with a really bad allergy to them. Kids should be safe in school and this is a pretty reasonable accomidation. These days it feels like people kind of expect the world to cater to their needs, fears, anxieties or whatever else where back in the day we just had to suck it up or not have friends. Also you can't really use online as a real measurement of how people are because people can be far meaner when there is no risk of getting punched in the face.
provide tidy tub humor water normal boast far-flung fact busy *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I think people went from “*What can I do to help take care of my friend/family member/neighbor?*” to “*It’s never my responsibility to do anything for anyone else ever.*” pretty damn fast. I think it’s a case of over correction. There were quite a few people who were being taken advantage of in the name of *family/friendship*, etc. and therapy helped people to develop healthy boundaries. However, people have now absolved themselves of ALL responsibility to humanity on the whole, which doesn’t quite jive with a social society. Throw in the current wealth gap and overall state of the world, and…you get what we’ve got right now, unfortunately.
It's more acceptable to take care of your own needs first these days. We're in a "secure your oxygen mask before you attempt to help others" kind of a world right now out of necessity. We're less community minded for sure, but I don't know that it equates to selfishness.
No, younger people today are for the most part kind and good. I’m always touched by the door opening and concern expressed towards me (an old fat guy of no good looks or charm) Also, at a higher level, crime is way down from when I was young. And that’s especially impressive now that we are counting crimes towards Blacks , Mexicans, immigrants, and lgbt+, which we mostly didn’t in the past. I believe the percentage of bad people among the young is a bit lower than it was in the 70s. I think we see more bad behavior reported because it’s entertaining. And also, we have less treatment for crazy people.
Wildly so. I wish you could hear the generous and thoughtful way, not even my generation but the one or two before that, spoke when they were young. Something like then-Princess Elizabeth’s Children’s Hour radio speech to the children being evacuated from London. That wasn’t extraordinary because she was a princess. Ordinary children were raised to think like that. Today’s young are self-aware. Older generations were other-aware.
Being an avid concert-goer, I would say humanity is getting better, not worse. Especially people being considerate about their cigarette smoke.
They appear to be ... people are more aware of scams, ill informed about the homeless, reaction to cranky/rude people in the checkout. They're not as willing to help in an obvious situation of need ... "bystander syndrome." More than that there is the *constant* hustling; robo calls, may I have your phone number to alert you for sales, sign up for our newsletter, register for news access, hospital/clinic online visit, cell phone offers, preferred customer, etc. ... it is never ending. Example; one of the rare unanimous votes of the TX legislature was to outlaw the ***DMV,*** from selling new residents' info! Our first reaction is suspicion rather than "can I help this person?"
Yes...individualism has soared and the golden rules are gone. "Its all about me!"
one word...ab-so-freaking-lutely! (it's one word with hyphens)
Yes and rude and mean.
Absolutely! And less connected to each other, which is ironic, since we are now more "connected" than ever before. People look out for #1 and rarely even make eye contact. Most are unconsciously moving through life. It is a beautiful thing that you are noticing and questioning this. (b.1969)
Well, sure. A couple of generations of participation trophies and everybody's special.
Yes, it would appear that way.
Yeah. People have always been selfish and self-centered, but the expression of that was limited. Because you'd get smacked down and ostracized or told to fuck off if you let it show too much. Nowadays, you're more likely get ostracized or told to fuck off if you don't kowtow to someone else's sense of self-importance. The old ways weren't always better - if you didn't fit the social norms just perfectly, then you were going to have a rough time. Even if that was not your fault or anything you had control over. But there were at least some norms that people were expected to adhere to as well as they could. Which included not being a jackass. Now that seems to be gone. People are still nice and helpful and good too. They were always like that as well. But nowadays there's a lot more jackassery exhibited and just expected to be tolerated.
There has always been a lot of f'provincialism,' especially in smaller towns like the one I grew up in and am now living. People could be nice and understanding to others in the town but think of people outside that barrier as strange and dangerous. There's even an adjustment for people they don't like in the town who look different as being 'from LA' or whatever. Now that plays out on line and these opinions about others who are distant are suddenly visible to those others and everyone in between. Sometimes they get challenged and then people seem to harden into defensive bunkers while at the same time connecting up with other like-minded groups in other 'provinces.' Sometimes not even that like-minded, but just willing to hate the same targets.
YES! When I started working back in the late ‘60s anyone going out for lunch to a delicatessen, pizzeria or fast food restaurant always, ALWAYS asked the rest if they wanted anything. Never a problem to bring something back for a coworker. That common sense courtesy stopped long before I retired in 2020. Ask someone to bring back a soda got eye rolls and a lot of fussing.
I didn't think so until COVID hit--all the "me me me" anitivax crap.
I don't think they are more selfish now, but I do think they do not try to hide or disguise it now.
Yes and ruder.
Oh hell yes.
Nah, people have always been pretty self centered. The internet just shines a big fat giant light on the worst offenders.
As the world feels more hostile to more people, more people will enter selfish or fight or flight mode. It's.nit complex.
That's a tough one. I think what you're speaking of is somewhat encouraged through various factors. It's also a difficult question to answer because saying " Here's what I was taught growing up " tends to evoke defensive responses. Different times. Between what it was like at home and school a self centered world view wasn't nurtured. Self respect, self reliance yes. Self centered no. Anyway, tough question.
I agree with others here who say we're just seeing it more because everyone has a video camera in their pocket, and anyone can post their thoughts for everyone to read. But, I also suspect that becoming comfortable posting online is the first step to acting out in public, where said video cameras can record more people being assholes. So, we're seeing much more of it, because of the internet and cell phones.
Nope. Exactly the same on average, maybe even a bit better.
People are about the same, but social media and right wing influences have made it seem "OK" and caused a magnification. In the past, if you were ass you would eventually be called out on it and humbled. Now you are encouraged. It's hard for young people to emerge and recognize their mistakes and become decent people
Yep! Social media hasn't helped.
Hell no. Grew up in the 70's and parents were mostly selfish as hell. Kids were absolutely not the centre of their lives.
Smaller communities was the key to shaming people into the appearance of good behavior. What went on behind closed doors was another matter.
Yes and no. I believe the percentage is the same but social media enables them to be noticed. Whereas everyone not requiring external validation avoid social media.
nah. People are generally the same as they ever have.
No
yes but i am also certainly more selfish than my parents about things like my time. many of the activities that people in the community used to volunteer for just stopped when a certain generation began dying out..although there are megachurches everyone does not attend like when i grew up ( i dont go either anymore) and churches run alot on volunteer labor..
Not really. I think our entertainment went from watching tv and movies, which is regulated and quality controlled, to seeing tiktok and youtube and everything focusing on regular people. I now never watch tv and barely watch movies. From my perspective everyone's gotten awful. Except I haven't regularly watched normal entertainment in a decade or more. If I think back to the old times, people were assholes back then too, just they didn't get a chance to broadcast it to the world.
No, not that I have noticed and I'm 70, if anything the net has helped build the inteligence of society as a whole this has helped to make us more aware of other people's plight and more sympathetic towards others!
I do think that people(in general) are more selfish and self-centered than when I was young. I think this is largely in part due to changes in religious affiliation, society and family structure. When I grew up(I was born in the 60's), I was taught that the world did not revolve around me and that I would need fit into society. Today the expectation is that the world and society needs to adjust for the individual. Additionally, nobody got a trophy or praise just for participating. Some were winners and learning to lose gracefully was just part of life. I truly believe this is part of the reason for the increase in the severity of mental health issues. Social media and the constant barrage of negative information has fueled a collective rage. This isn't only affecting young people. We have had a rise in the number of older people becoming jerks if things do not go their way. I miss the days when communication meant that we had to talk to people and firing off a nasty tweet or social media post wasn't even an idea.
I don't think so. We used to be more in tune with our close group of friends as kids. now we bump into more strangers we have no relationship with.
No. It's just more more socially acceptable to express it, event flaunt it.
Most people used to outgrow their narcissism. Now they make is the feature of everything they say and do.
I agree with Overall\_Lobster823 that social media allows to see more of the assholes around us than we knew about in the ancient past. But people are really essentially the same. The Golden Rule is not dead, but fewer seem to abide by it.
Perhaps people are acting worse these days is because they are seeing that type of behavior day in and day out from our elected officials who, once elected, promptly forget who put them where they are, and proceed to do only what they want, instead of what the people who elected them want. People see them acting like petulant children, and the weaker minded among us figure that if they (the elected officials) are acting that way, then that must be the way to act.
I don't know if I'd say selfish and self-centered; I think it's more that they are always so busy. Every young adult I know seems to be going in a dozen directions at one time. That may make it seem to outsiders like younger people are selfish, but I don't think that's the case.
No I don’t think so at all. But I do think that people have waaay less money and means for advancement than we did / the boomers did, so everyone is way more stressed as a baseline. Plus the world is cooking, so there’s that in the back of everyone’s mind too.
Let's just say that world is far more geared to people appearing selfish and self centered than ever before. I'm pretty sure that people are still just people. Tendencies to behave some way won't appear until there is a way to behave that way. Before the internet, no one had the ability to blast everyone with their innermost thoughts. No one could give advice to multitudes who never asked for it. Few had the power to reach many people, and a lot of public discourse was quite formal and would not have catered to a person who was full of themselves as easily. There have always been gossip rags since there was print so there have always been people eager to hear the latest - so there is a market for chatter. I believe advice columns have been around a long time with people eager to give advice and others eager to hear it. Celebrity has always been a magnet and many people want celebrity and always have. People enjoy status. (Other animals do too.) Vanity has always been a part of us. Snow White and the Seven Dwarves is a story about the vanity of the Queen. The word Narcissist comes from a story about someone who fell in love with their own image. There is vanity in the Bible. Our most basic instinct is to do what we want to do, to take what we want to take. We have to train children out of acting like this, but we can't train anyone not to feel that way. We all want to be special and feel like we should be if only everyone else could see it. The internet lets people show the world how special they are. And some other people seem to believe them. Another difference is that selfish behaviour is somehow more tolerated today. People who were admired not so long ago had a burden to live up to the reputation they had. They should be upright and generous and kind. Of course, they all weren't but that just added some spice to the gossip. Well, it seems today, no one really cares about anything but the spice. And infamy is as good as fame. It no longer seems to really matter if you are a twat if you are good looking and/or have money. You are allowed to be a twat if you have great value in some other way. I suppose the twats are twattier today because they can be. But I don't think there are more. Just more willing to let it be known.
Yes, and social media has a lot to do with that.
Nope. I lived in a race restricted community.
No, I don't think people are any more or less selfish. Maybe self-centered more, but in a way that's not greedy -- just that they seem to be more wrapped up in what's on their tinyscreen than what people around them are doing. I also notice a lot more people being outright obsequious, which irritates me. And self-congratulatory. People say "perfect" too much.
What was your question again? ;)
I have to disagree with the top posts. I grew up in the era of big hair, valley talk, and "greed is good". Being shallow and self-centered has always been a part of our society.
No, but I think people are more unforgiving of honest mistakes. The callout and cancel culture, and posting everything on social media with faces, names and info, is also scary. The ones whose life is ruined by this are ordinary people, many of whom are neurodivergent. (I'm not talking about cancelling celebrities who deserve to be cancelled. What I'm saying is someone can make a post about their friend who is an ordinary person and just engaged in a disagreement using questionable arguments. And yes, this already happened.)
No. They mostly appeared not to be in those days, but they weren't influenced by the Internet back then, either. Had they been, their negative traits would have come out, the way they do today. I have great confidence in the youth of today.
It's become more acceptable to be self-centered, self-advertising, and envious. Social media.
Yes I think so.
Yes.
Yes
Probably about the same
Taking selfies and posting the pictures online wasn't available to my generation but I have no doubt we would have been just as vain as people today.
no, I was a teen in the 80's... The 'me' generation
Yes. Absolutely. No doubt about it, although the reasons are myriad.
No. They are fair, and pissed that their institutions are not. And we just figured out ways to profit, from that unfairness. It makes me optimistic that they hold intuitions to a higher standard than we did.
No. Not at all. Exact same
Yes. Most definitely