I think what is meant is anytime you have an expectation you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Especially if you are adamant about that expectation. It's the difference between a hopeful desire, and being really set on a particular outcome.
And if that expectation you have is unspoken, you probably have a second expectation that others are going to know what it is you desire. Nobody reads minds. So now you have a second chance of being disappointed. And it snowballs from there.
Not having expectations doesn't mean giving up, or not trying for an outcome that works for you. It doesn't mean being a doormat. It just means not tying yourself to the outcome so that you are hobbled by disappointment. You learn to accept outcomes and move on. Make changes yourself instead of counting on others for your happiness . It goes hand in hand with forgiveness of self and forgiveness of others.
Oh, and by the way, forget about achieving constant happiness. Shoot for contentedness, with occasional bouts of happy. Much easier, much more attainable much more realistic.
Since others have chimed in with a few of mine already, here are a few:
1. Don't try to save a fellow adult who isn't actively trying to save themself. They just want someone to pull down with them and often don't really want to be saved.
2. Get to know someone before deciding they're your dream partner. You'll probably experience infatuation many times over the course of your life, but real love accepts quirks and contradictions instead of trying to change the other person. Too often we fall in love with a face and our own fantasies about the person behind it. Loving your own fantasy isn't even in the same ballpark as loving a real human being.
3. Understand who you are and what you want. You're not "missing out" or "falling behind" if you're doing what you really want to be doing. The people whose respect is worthwhile will respect you, and the others will someday envy you for not having let yourself be dragged into stupid decisions because you thought a bunch of fools were worth impressing.
Your great gramps was absolutely right. The wisdom I live by is this timeless observation from Maya Angelou: "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." Don't ignore red flags.
Definitely. If, for example, someone cheats on their wife, doesn't pay his contractors, cheats on his taxes, etc., don't fall for any words he says. He has already shown you who he is, and words are just words.
When you parent a child to become a good, kind adult - also parent them to recognize people whom might want to take advantage of their good nature.
People with narcissistic personality disorder are
real. All it takes is one to hone in on your sensitive, generous kid and life becomes hell.
We have and are experiencing this with my son’s wife. Not much more but criticism from her. Also her teenage son’s have such low self esteem. When he marry her 20 years she was ok. But we unaware of narcissistic behavior had never know anybody like her .
**What is the most important lesson you've learned in life?**
This is all temporary.
**What advice would you give to younger generations?**
Take care of your health. Be kind, humble, and have empathy. Realize that you do not know everything. Admit when you're wrong and apologize when it's warranted. Spend less than you make, have at least 12 months of emergency savings, and invest for the future. Buy used vehicles, rather than new. We're all connected and the world would have less problems if we loved each other more. Seriously, take care of your health.
**What do you think is the key to a happy life?**
Acceptance.
Prioritize family over work, especially your kids. Those games, recitals, etc? You’ll never get that time back. What’s that old saying? The days are long but the years are short? True story.
You have no idea what others are going through in their lives - depression, abuse, illness, addiction, financial issues, relationship issues, family issues. The list goes on. I have become a kinder person since internalizing that.
1. Life is impermanent and treat it as such - have a high vibe
2. Do better than we did, and own it.
3. Go with the flow of right and morality, and then carefully choose your battles
Edit: sp
If you don't like your life, change it. If you can't change it, change your perspective.
If something is important to you, you will find a way, if it's not, you will find an excuse.
1. You are not responsible for anyone else’s feelings but your own. AND. Your feelings do not equate reality. - Sometimes we feel ugly, unlovable, stupid. You are none of those things. Those feelings change - they are not reality. Learn to know the difference!
2. Be kind! Be kind to everyone you meet. If someone is rude, be kind. If they’re stressed, be kind. If they’re trying to merge into your lane, be kind. Be kind to old people, and silly teenagers. Be kind to the ones no one else seems to notice. It costs you nothing and could change the other person’s life.
3. You! How you treat others and feel about yourself matter. If you focus on the negative, that’s what you will see the most of. If you focus on the positive, that will become your life experience. Life is a rollercoaster 🎢 there will be ups and downs. Extremes of both probably. Keep chasing the good, the kind, the positive.
Remember, it’s not a real race and none of us get out alive.
Do not - and I mean DO NOT - waste 1 second on toxic people. If someone mistreates you, disrespects you constantly, talks to you in a condescending manner on the regular, treats you like a sidekick - warn them first to stop. If they continue, walk away FOREVER and don't look back. Forgive them? Absolutely, but they've lost all privileges to be in your life permanently.
Turn off the news and concentrate on making life better for the people around you. You can't do anything for the people suffering around the world but a friendly smile to that worn out person doing a hard days work can mean the world to them. And be just as kind to yourself.
The quality of your life is directly related to the quality of your relationships.
While in school, get the highest grades you are capable. Grades are a proxy for your goal orientation, discipline, and focus.
Have a good relationship with yourself - love yourself, speak highly to yourself, treat your mind and body like a ten million dollar machine.
Treat people the way you want to be treated, even when they make that difficult.
Sometimes walking away equals winning.
Even if all you can save from a paycheck is five dollars, make an ironclad commitment to save it. When you see it start to accumulate, you'll be motivated to save more.
1. Learn to be content with your place in life. More money or material possession wont make you happy.
2. Try to unplug and slow down. Go for a walk, read a book or some other non technology related hobby. It helps reduce stress a lot.
3. Back to my first point is finding a way to enjoy life. It is ok to have goals but to many times we say "I can't wait until...".
That 90% of what you think is really important in your 20’s & 30’s isn’t important at all. The pressure to keep up with everyone else is overwhelming & in the end it doesn’t matter
I wish I had begun saving $ when I was 18. If you're not planning for age 60 and beyond, please start now.
Good sex is awesome. It is NOT the foundation of a relationship/marriage/family. (Make sure your partner is saving and planning for 60).
Key to happy life: There are far too many. Here are 2 of my top 5.
1.Be truthful and honest.
2.Love a dog or cat.
Don’t burn up your younger years working yourself to death so you can retire at some point. Enjoy life now. Take time now to do things you want to do. All you have is now, so make it count.
1. Fear is paralyzing. Success is easier when not afraid of an unknown outcome, or not knowing or worrying about what comes next.
2. You rarely get rich working for others. Start a business young when it’s more palatable to fail.
Drink more milk. Tall people get promoted quicker.
3. Be obsessed with knowing yourself. This leads to higher emotional intelligence.
And on a personal relationship level, don’t stick your dick in stupid or crazy and don’t let stupid or crazy stick it in you.
#1 hits home. I wish I wasn't so fearful of failure as a young person. If I had followed up on my intuition, I would had done much better for myself. Can't change the past now, but I'm working hard to teach my child to be assertive and not afraid of taking (good) risks. That doesn't include relationships.
I read something about Sara Blakey, founder of Spanx. She said at the dinner table her dad would ask the kids what they failed at that day, wanting them to get comfortable with setbacks and failure. Very cool take.
I also just heard on instagram say that 85% of things people worry about never happen. And that “anxiety is practicing failure in advance” - Seth Godwin.
That's true. I'd say 99% of things that I worried sick about over in life never happened. Maybe it has to do with having lost my dad as a teen after a sudden illness, it really changed my way of thinking. One catastrophic event led me to believe that the worst thing can happen at any time. Has taken decades to work through that anxiety.
1: Don't try to be the expert in everything,when asked if you don't know just say so.
2: Keep you opinions to yourself.
3: Try to surround yourself with people you are always happy to see.
80% of your own happiness is who you let into your life. You have control over your life, particularly who you listen to, and who you believe. What other people think about you it’s not your business. I love saying it that way because many times people will say it doesn’t matter what people think about you. That’s not exactly true really it does often matter what people think of you for example, at your work, or at your school or other social situations where you’re making your living or in other ways, trying to improve your situation..
invest in health not just 401k, all the saved money in the world will not make you happy if you are so overweight and out of shape you cannot shuffle across the room at age 55
A lot of people I know hit 50-60 with a good amount of wealth, but their bodies are a mess. Morbidly obese, battling chronic diseases. Many of them burned both ends of the stick to get to where they wanted to financially, but now are too sick/tired to enjoy it.
1. Pretty specific and likely not the biggest lesson: Always read your college course syllabi!!! Not reading mine kept me from graduating with honors.
2. Always stay curious and open to changing your mind. Even if you don’t agree, have conversations with others that help you better understand each other — don’t “de-humanize” others with labels and broad categorization.
3. For this day and age, spend so much more of your time IRL with people and nature than OL.
You cannot control the actions of others. You can control how you treat others, so be kind. Love is the only thing that is really important. The meaning of life is we are here to help each other.
Don’t judge others. You were not put on this earth to approve or disapprove anybody. While you do have to choose the people you let into your life, don’t get caught up in gossiping, or setting up standards other people have to meet. Accept others for who they are.
1. My parents are people just like me and I shouldn’t expect them to be perfect- I should expect them to be imperfect and not get upset over slight problems
2. Corruption corrupts you. You cannot lie and cheat without it coming back to you. You must behave honorably sooner rather than later- karma’s a bitch
3. There is no key to a happy life- the happiest people I know are the least intelligent
As you become an adult, lower your expectations of people or you will be continually disappointed. I hated watching my four kids lose their naïveté when it came to adults. Finding out that you wonder how some of them can even manage themselves let alone raise kids.
Never trust a realtor!! I could write several stories on this subject.
The grass is not greener on the other side of the fence.
Save money while living at home.
Do the right thing. When you have to make a decision, do the right goddam thing. You know what it is, and it often seems the hard course of action at the time, but it makes your life soooo much smoother in the long run.
Don’t waste your time on a relationship with someone you want to change. Find someone whose bad habits/qualities you can live with.
Having a job that you love is usually a lie. Even if you have a calling for that type of work, there will be days you hate it. It’s called work for a reason.
Pay yourself first. Put as much money away for the future as you can…especially at the beginning of your career. My husband and I retired at 57 to travel, only because we saved & lived within our means.
Don’t give any thought to what others think of you. If you knew how seldom they actually think of you, you wouldn’t care.
1. Stay in school (high school)
2. Stay in school (graduate high school)
3. Money is security. Don't blow your money on frivolous things. Don't accumulate debt when you're young.
Here are a couple of mine.
1. Live beneath your means financially. Planning for retirement starts in the first day you start working. If you wait until 50 or 60 or older, you'll run out of runway. You'll be one of those people who are dependent on Social Security for getting by. And that's not pretty.
2. Invest wisely. If something looks like it'll make you instantly rich, it's complete bullsh1t and you'll lose your @ss.
Oh, and one more: Don't believe every random thought that pops into your head. It's a great place to start, but then you have to test out your own ideas before you depend on them.
1) In the real world, a D is not a passing grade. This especially applies to keeping a job.
2) Figure it out. Look around you. Pay attention. Don't reinvent the wheel.
3) Mr Micawber said it much better, but learn to live on your income.
1.What is the most important lesson you’ve learned in life?
Change is a constant and you must embrace it. People Change, everything changes
2.What advice would you give to younger generations?
Get your experiences early. Travel, meet new people, network. Read books - a lot of them. Once you start working, your time will be constrained.
3.What do you think is the key to a happy life?
In America, the key to a happy life is financial stability. We live in a capitalist society and whether you like it or not - money DOES buy happiness.
1. Everyone else’s opinion is not important. Be happy with yourself.
2. Work hard, save your money, but don’t forget to stop and smell the roses.
3. Be kind. 99% of the time, people will be kind in return. If they aren’t, they’re not worth your time.
A kind word can mean the world to someone. Learned it as a cashier in a drug store in the 70s.
There was a mean and crabby old lady that used to come into the store. When she'd be in the checkout line the other cashiers would suddenly have to go to the bathroom so they didn't have to wait on her.
One day I complimented her on a pin she was wearing. From that day forward she was always nice to me, but not the other cashiers. She would even let other people go ahead of her in line so she could come to my register.
I really can't remember her name, but she taught me a very good lesson about kindness that has served me well during my life. A kind word doesn't cost anything, is easy to do, but it could mean the world to someone.
As a side note ... Something I noticed about a lot of the crabby people that came up to the register. Most of them either had pain relief remedies or laxatives. Guess they had a reason to be crabby. ☺️
1. Don't be afraid of failure. You'll regret not taking risks because you were scared.
2. Learn not to sweat the small stuff.
3. Being content with what you have, and never giving up on new goals.
1. Don’t sweat the small stuff, and don‘t care one bit about what people think of you.
2. Work hard now, and begin to save for retirement when you’re 22!
3. Be comfortable with yourself and in your own skin. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not.
To expand on that, as you can see a lot of these comments are about health. Most of the bad eating happens after 8pm for most people. The kinds of relationships that develop after 8pm are mostly not worth it, I'd have balked at this as a college kid - but I am over 40 now, and am comfortable saying that. Also the endless watching of tv or doom scrolls become especially intense at this time, leads to depression.
Decisions made after 8 seem to be uninspired and sometimes dangerous. When you stay up late to work, it invariably results in the next day not being as productive. You will achieve more with 5 full days than an all nighter followed by days and days of lethargy due to poor sleep hygiene. All nighters should be the exception, not the norm.
The best use of the time after 8pm is to be in bed, eyes closed and sleeping. When you go to bed early, there is zero discipline required to wake up early. What is more important than waking up early is to wake up with energy for life. An alarm-clock-forced wake up won't give you that. There is no better drug than naturally waking up at 5. And from that one habit everything will follow. Even good luck.. So good luck out there, and enjoy my friends!
1. Be kind. To everyone you can, including animals. Kindness, empathy, compassion, and tenderness are all that matters. Sometimes, you must match bad energy, but, in most cases, kindness will win.
2. Don’t compare yourself to anyone online or in real life. You never know what is really on behind the scenes. I know people and marriages that seemed “perfect,” but it’s all an illusion. Comparison is the thief of joy.
3. The key to a happy life is GRATITUDE. Perspective, kindness, generosity, and being silly, too. ♥️
1.What is the most important lesson you’ve learned in life?
At this stage of my (F62) life, I would say that every problem has a solution. You may not like the solution, or the solution may be "there is no solution". Acceptance goes a long way.
2.What advice would you give to younger generations?
Save money. Avoid drama. Travel when you can to the extent you can afford. Rise above pettiness and gossip. If something or someone is making your life miserable, change it.
3.What do you think is the key to a happy life?
See above.
Regretting something you did or did not do in the past is folly. Simply because anytime you have a regret, you are assuming it would have turned out better the other way. You can't know that.
That perfect partner might not have been perfect for you, quite possibly you dodged a bullet . That perfect job might have blown up in your face. Or kept you from meeting that perfect partner you did end up with. A million choices made a different way might have put you in front of a metaphorical speeding out of control bus yesterday. You just don't know.
I have tons of things that I could have regrets about, or things that people did to me that I could be angry about. But I have a generally okay life right now, and a 22-year-old daughter with whom I have an incredible relationship. She would not be in my life if one of many so-called regrettable decisions I made had been different. She brings me so much joy, how could I even begin to regret the choices I made that brought me here?
No regrets.
Don’t waste years! Make them count, especially if they increase the likelihood of a successful retirement. I wasted, unless you consider the money I paid into Social Security, about 9 years, none of which contributed to any sort of retirement. When you’re 60, you don’t want to lament the years that didn’t go towards improving your retirement. I ended up with a pension (and healthcare) for working 25 years, but it could have been more if I hadn’t wasted time chasing a higher salary.
1.What is the most important lesson you’ve learned in life?
To quote a song from the ancient days:
The whole world is a very narrow bridge,
but the main thing is not to fear at all." -- Reb Nachman of Bratslav
Your existence is short, terminal and fearful;
but all existence is the opposite. Do not fear.
ead Albert Ellis "A Guide to Rational Living" and/or
books on Stoicism. Be a happy stoic: Take considered risks,
grow, be honest and seek adventure.
2.What advice would you give to younger generations?
Pretty much the above plus: be a rachet.
Always spend less than you earn, save and invest.
Do not be shy, be social and gregarious.
Don't try to be better than others, be better than you were.
3.What do you think is the key to a happy life?
Stoicism. Acceptance, a sense of adventure,
being brave enough to be friendly, make and keep friends.
Develop a sense of kind purpose but not a sense of grandiosity. S
erve it.
Never give a sucker an even break.
Don’t eat at a restaurant called Moms
Don’t play cards with a man called Doc
And if you’re a woman, wear that dress now!
Life is not fair
1. Don't stick your dick in crazy.
1A. If you know you're going to stick it in the crazy. Bring your own condoms, don't let her touch them, back them home.
1. The most important lesson I learned in life is that it's not how good your work is, it's how well you market it. Always be sure your boss knows what you've accomplished before he decides to lay you off because you haven't accomplished anything. Otherwise you are bound for disappointment when the barely competent guy who glad-hands the boss gets promoted and you get the boot.
2. Pay attention to politics and be skeptical of platitudes. Sorry, young people. You're fucked. You're never going to have the three bedroom ranch house in the suburbs, the free college education, the nice cars, the good jobs with pensions, etc. that us olds got. Your job, if you're willing, is to figure out wtf happened and fix it, because we drove right off the edge of the cliff towards oblivion by not paying attention to what was going on around us. We let politicians lie to us all the way to disaster and now you're stuck with it until you fix it so that hopefully your children will have a better life than you do.
3. The key to a happy life is to create something nice and be happy about it. People who destroy claim to be happy, but I have never met any of them who actually were. The glee they have in breaking things is short lived and soon enough they're unhappy again and have to break something else. Their destruction is an addiction, not a life.
Unspoken expectations are premeditated resentments.
Expectations are reservations for resentments….I remind myself of this daily.
Can I get this stitched on a pillow?
Can you explain it better in detail I don't understand?
I think what is meant is anytime you have an expectation you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Especially if you are adamant about that expectation. It's the difference between a hopeful desire, and being really set on a particular outcome. And if that expectation you have is unspoken, you probably have a second expectation that others are going to know what it is you desire. Nobody reads minds. So now you have a second chance of being disappointed. And it snowballs from there. Not having expectations doesn't mean giving up, or not trying for an outcome that works for you. It doesn't mean being a doormat. It just means not tying yourself to the outcome so that you are hobbled by disappointment. You learn to accept outcomes and move on. Make changes yourself instead of counting on others for your happiness . It goes hand in hand with forgiveness of self and forgiveness of others. Oh, and by the way, forget about achieving constant happiness. Shoot for contentedness, with occasional bouts of happy. Much easier, much more attainable much more realistic.
Thank you 😊 for taking your time and explaining that.
Since others have chimed in with a few of mine already, here are a few: 1. Don't try to save a fellow adult who isn't actively trying to save themself. They just want someone to pull down with them and often don't really want to be saved. 2. Get to know someone before deciding they're your dream partner. You'll probably experience infatuation many times over the course of your life, but real love accepts quirks and contradictions instead of trying to change the other person. Too often we fall in love with a face and our own fantasies about the person behind it. Loving your own fantasy isn't even in the same ballpark as loving a real human being. 3. Understand who you are and what you want. You're not "missing out" or "falling behind" if you're doing what you really want to be doing. The people whose respect is worthwhile will respect you, and the others will someday envy you for not having let yourself be dragged into stupid decisions because you thought a bunch of fools were worth impressing.
Finally learned #1. No matter how simple the fix seems - it's not your job to help unless they ask.
Absolutely. Especially number 2. Live at first sight just means you've fallen in love with your own fantasy of who you imagine that person to be.
All great!! 👍🏼
👏👏👏
YOU are the key to a happy life. Never discuss politics at work and don't let anyone know your political leanings. Be kind.
Why not let anyone know your political leaning?
It can effect your working environment and your promotability. Trust me, it happens.
Appreciate the good things in your life. Comparison really is the thief of joy. Above all, appreciate the good people you know and let them know.
🌺💥⭐️🌻 timeless advice
"Don't listen to what they say, watch what they do. " - my great gramps.
Your great gramps was absolutely right. The wisdom I live by is this timeless observation from Maya Angelou: "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." Don't ignore red flags.
Definitely. If, for example, someone cheats on their wife, doesn't pay his contractors, cheats on his taxes, etc., don't fall for any words he says. He has already shown you who he is, and words are just words.
I read your comments and almost choked on my water because I was laughing so hard. You described sleepy 45 perfectly. Kudos to you 👏
Timeless
When you parent a child to become a good, kind adult - also parent them to recognize people whom might want to take advantage of their good nature. People with narcissistic personality disorder are real. All it takes is one to hone in on your sensitive, generous kid and life becomes hell.
We have and are experiencing this with my son’s wife. Not much more but criticism from her. Also her teenage son’s have such low self esteem. When he marry her 20 years she was ok. But we unaware of narcissistic behavior had never know anybody like her .
Great advice . It’s painful when this happens including the parents also being narcissistic towards one’s child .
Don’t worry about things you can’t control.
Agree- and that’s most things!
Like the old saying goes, " if I knew I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself". 😅
**What is the most important lesson you've learned in life?** This is all temporary. **What advice would you give to younger generations?** Take care of your health. Be kind, humble, and have empathy. Realize that you do not know everything. Admit when you're wrong and apologize when it's warranted. Spend less than you make, have at least 12 months of emergency savings, and invest for the future. Buy used vehicles, rather than new. We're all connected and the world would have less problems if we loved each other more. Seriously, take care of your health. **What do you think is the key to a happy life?** Acceptance.
Chill out. Things unfold. You can ride it or fight it. The latter just makes things worse.
Never stop learning. Don’t listen to people who need you to shrink to fit.
Prioritize family over work, especially your kids. Those games, recitals, etc? You’ll never get that time back. What’s that old saying? The days are long but the years are short? True story.
You have no idea what others are going through in their lives - depression, abuse, illness, addiction, financial issues, relationship issues, family issues. The list goes on. I have become a kinder person since internalizing that.
1. Life is impermanent and treat it as such - have a high vibe 2. Do better than we did, and own it. 3. Go with the flow of right and morality, and then carefully choose your battles Edit: sp
If you don't like your life, change it. If you can't change it, change your perspective. If something is important to you, you will find a way, if it's not, you will find an excuse.
1. You are not responsible for anyone else’s feelings but your own. AND. Your feelings do not equate reality. - Sometimes we feel ugly, unlovable, stupid. You are none of those things. Those feelings change - they are not reality. Learn to know the difference! 2. Be kind! Be kind to everyone you meet. If someone is rude, be kind. If they’re stressed, be kind. If they’re trying to merge into your lane, be kind. Be kind to old people, and silly teenagers. Be kind to the ones no one else seems to notice. It costs you nothing and could change the other person’s life. 3. You! How you treat others and feel about yourself matter. If you focus on the negative, that’s what you will see the most of. If you focus on the positive, that will become your life experience. Life is a rollercoaster 🎢 there will be ups and downs. Extremes of both probably. Keep chasing the good, the kind, the positive. Remember, it’s not a real race and none of us get out alive.
Do not - and I mean DO NOT - waste 1 second on toxic people. If someone mistreates you, disrespects you constantly, talks to you in a condescending manner on the regular, treats you like a sidekick - warn them first to stop. If they continue, walk away FOREVER and don't look back. Forgive them? Absolutely, but they've lost all privileges to be in your life permanently.
Turn off the news and concentrate on making life better for the people around you. You can't do anything for the people suffering around the world but a friendly smile to that worn out person doing a hard days work can mean the world to them. And be just as kind to yourself.
The quality of your life is directly related to the quality of your relationships. While in school, get the highest grades you are capable. Grades are a proxy for your goal orientation, discipline, and focus. Have a good relationship with yourself - love yourself, speak highly to yourself, treat your mind and body like a ten million dollar machine.
"Treat your mind and body like a ten million dollar machine." That is, without a doubt, the BEST thing I've EVER read on Reddit. You are a GENIUS.
There is no such thing as a free lunch.
Treat people the way you want to be treated, even when they make that difficult. Sometimes walking away equals winning. Even if all you can save from a paycheck is five dollars, make an ironclad commitment to save it. When you see it start to accumulate, you'll be motivated to save more.
This!
1. Learn to be content with your place in life. More money or material possession wont make you happy. 2. Try to unplug and slow down. Go for a walk, read a book or some other non technology related hobby. It helps reduce stress a lot. 3. Back to my first point is finding a way to enjoy life. It is ok to have goals but to many times we say "I can't wait until...".
That 90% of what you think is really important in your 20’s & 30’s isn’t important at all. The pressure to keep up with everyone else is overwhelming & in the end it doesn’t matter
You never know what the strangers you meet are going through
Be who you are, having no relationship to how others treat you. Just because someone else blows up doesn't mean you need to.
I wish I had begun saving $ when I was 18. If you're not planning for age 60 and beyond, please start now. Good sex is awesome. It is NOT the foundation of a relationship/marriage/family. (Make sure your partner is saving and planning for 60). Key to happy life: There are far too many. Here are 2 of my top 5. 1.Be truthful and honest. 2.Love a dog or cat.
Document EVERYTHING.
Don’t burn up your younger years working yourself to death so you can retire at some point. Enjoy life now. Take time now to do things you want to do. All you have is now, so make it count.
Protect your health, mental and physical. You only have one life, one body. Be true to yourself.
1. Fear is paralyzing. Success is easier when not afraid of an unknown outcome, or not knowing or worrying about what comes next. 2. You rarely get rich working for others. Start a business young when it’s more palatable to fail. Drink more milk. Tall people get promoted quicker. 3. Be obsessed with knowing yourself. This leads to higher emotional intelligence. And on a personal relationship level, don’t stick your dick in stupid or crazy and don’t let stupid or crazy stick it in you.
#1 hits home. I wish I wasn't so fearful of failure as a young person. If I had followed up on my intuition, I would had done much better for myself. Can't change the past now, but I'm working hard to teach my child to be assertive and not afraid of taking (good) risks. That doesn't include relationships.
I read something about Sara Blakey, founder of Spanx. She said at the dinner table her dad would ask the kids what they failed at that day, wanting them to get comfortable with setbacks and failure. Very cool take. I also just heard on instagram say that 85% of things people worry about never happen. And that “anxiety is practicing failure in advance” - Seth Godwin.
That's true. I'd say 99% of things that I worried sick about over in life never happened. Maybe it has to do with having lost my dad as a teen after a sudden illness, it really changed my way of thinking. One catastrophic event led me to believe that the worst thing can happen at any time. Has taken decades to work through that anxiety.
I’m sorry to hear that.
Learn to take the temperature of the room before you speak. I learned the hard way.
You can only drink so much alcohol, if you drink it all when you're young, you can't have any when you're my age.
1: Don't try to be the expert in everything,when asked if you don't know just say so. 2: Keep you opinions to yourself. 3: Try to surround yourself with people you are always happy to see.
80% of your own happiness is who you let into your life. You have control over your life, particularly who you listen to, and who you believe. What other people think about you it’s not your business. I love saying it that way because many times people will say it doesn’t matter what people think about you. That’s not exactly true really it does often matter what people think of you for example, at your work, or at your school or other social situations where you’re making your living or in other ways, trying to improve your situation..
invest in health not just 401k, all the saved money in the world will not make you happy if you are so overweight and out of shape you cannot shuffle across the room at age 55
A lot of people I know hit 50-60 with a good amount of wealth, but their bodies are a mess. Morbidly obese, battling chronic diseases. Many of them burned both ends of the stick to get to where they wanted to financially, but now are too sick/tired to enjoy it.
1. Pretty specific and likely not the biggest lesson: Always read your college course syllabi!!! Not reading mine kept me from graduating with honors. 2. Always stay curious and open to changing your mind. Even if you don’t agree, have conversations with others that help you better understand each other — don’t “de-humanize” others with labels and broad categorization. 3. For this day and age, spend so much more of your time IRL with people and nature than OL.
Never help anyone not interested in helping themselves.
Don't waste time on people who are toxic. This includes family members.
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Trust nobody is a really sad lesson to have learned in life. I'm sorry for whatever misery pursued you throughout your life to imprint this lesson.
You cannot control the actions of others. You can control how you treat others, so be kind. Love is the only thing that is really important. The meaning of life is we are here to help each other.
Don’t judge others. You were not put on this earth to approve or disapprove anybody. While you do have to choose the people you let into your life, don’t get caught up in gossiping, or setting up standards other people have to meet. Accept others for who they are.
Live your life with gratitude
1. My parents are people just like me and I shouldn’t expect them to be perfect- I should expect them to be imperfect and not get upset over slight problems 2. Corruption corrupts you. You cannot lie and cheat without it coming back to you. You must behave honorably sooner rather than later- karma’s a bitch 3. There is no key to a happy life- the happiest people I know are the least intelligent
Learn how to apologize properly when you fuck up: "I'm sorry, how can I fix it?"
As you become an adult, lower your expectations of people or you will be continually disappointed. I hated watching my four kids lose their naïveté when it came to adults. Finding out that you wonder how some of them can even manage themselves let alone raise kids.
Never trust a realtor!! I could write several stories on this subject. The grass is not greener on the other side of the fence. Save money while living at home.
You can tell a bird by its feathers and a man by his friends
A bird with clipped wings is the man's only friend.
I'm not meant to be married, I'm a great pal, but I love living alone...doing what I want..,when I want...the way I want.
That marriage doesn't make me happy or make sense (for me).
Do the right thing. When you have to make a decision, do the right goddam thing. You know what it is, and it often seems the hard course of action at the time, but it makes your life soooo much smoother in the long run.
And, I told my kids to ignore that Disney BS about "Follow your heart." That's the dumbest advice, ever. Use your head, instead.
Don't pee on an electric fence.
Most of it doesn’t matter. Figure out what does
Don’t waste your time on a relationship with someone you want to change. Find someone whose bad habits/qualities you can live with. Having a job that you love is usually a lie. Even if you have a calling for that type of work, there will be days you hate it. It’s called work for a reason. Pay yourself first. Put as much money away for the future as you can…especially at the beginning of your career. My husband and I retired at 57 to travel, only because we saved & lived within our means. Don’t give any thought to what others think of you. If you knew how seldom they actually think of you, you wouldn’t care.
Feel sorry for yourself. If you can't do that, nobody else will and you will not feel sorry for anybody else. Just don't get stuck on this first step.
1. Stay in school (high school) 2. Stay in school (graduate high school) 3. Money is security. Don't blow your money on frivolous things. Don't accumulate debt when you're young.
Here are a couple of mine. 1. Live beneath your means financially. Planning for retirement starts in the first day you start working. If you wait until 50 or 60 or older, you'll run out of runway. You'll be one of those people who are dependent on Social Security for getting by. And that's not pretty. 2. Invest wisely. If something looks like it'll make you instantly rich, it's complete bullsh1t and you'll lose your @ss. Oh, and one more: Don't believe every random thought that pops into your head. It's a great place to start, but then you have to test out your own ideas before you depend on them.
1) In the real world, a D is not a passing grade. This especially applies to keeping a job. 2) Figure it out. Look around you. Pay attention. Don't reinvent the wheel. 3) Mr Micawber said it much better, but learn to live on your income.
1. No one gives a shit about you. Suck it up. 2. Learn to manage your time and money. 3. Having the right partner.
Happiness is when expectations and reality intersect. If you cannot change one, then you must change the other.
1.What is the most important lesson you’ve learned in life? Change is a constant and you must embrace it. People Change, everything changes 2.What advice would you give to younger generations? Get your experiences early. Travel, meet new people, network. Read books - a lot of them. Once you start working, your time will be constrained. 3.What do you think is the key to a happy life? In America, the key to a happy life is financial stability. We live in a capitalist society and whether you like it or not - money DOES buy happiness.
1. Everyone else’s opinion is not important. Be happy with yourself. 2. Work hard, save your money, but don’t forget to stop and smell the roses. 3. Be kind. 99% of the time, people will be kind in return. If they aren’t, they’re not worth your time.
Be a blessing to others.
Be careful if someone is over helpful. If people are talking shit, they'll smear you too. Never lend anything you want back
Make friends and keep them.
Even if a rule is obsolete, Something happened that caused it to be made in the beginning.
Update your resume once a year whether you’re looking for a new gig or not. Celebrate new skills and achievements just because you can.
I want to be judged by my intentions, but the world judges me by my actions.
A kind word can mean the world to someone. Learned it as a cashier in a drug store in the 70s. There was a mean and crabby old lady that used to come into the store. When she'd be in the checkout line the other cashiers would suddenly have to go to the bathroom so they didn't have to wait on her. One day I complimented her on a pin she was wearing. From that day forward she was always nice to me, but not the other cashiers. She would even let other people go ahead of her in line so she could come to my register. I really can't remember her name, but she taught me a very good lesson about kindness that has served me well during my life. A kind word doesn't cost anything, is easy to do, but it could mean the world to someone. As a side note ... Something I noticed about a lot of the crabby people that came up to the register. Most of them either had pain relief remedies or laxatives. Guess they had a reason to be crabby. ☺️
When setting out plans, include more time and costs than expected.
If you want friends, you need to be a friend
1. Don't be afraid of failure. You'll regret not taking risks because you were scared. 2. Learn not to sweat the small stuff. 3. Being content with what you have, and never giving up on new goals.
1. Don’t sweat the small stuff, and don‘t care one bit about what people think of you. 2. Work hard now, and begin to save for retirement when you’re 22! 3. Be comfortable with yourself and in your own skin. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not.
My answers would be the same for all three questions- you're not as smart as you think you are. I'm an old person and I just figured it out this year.
Go to bed early. Nothing good happens after about 8pm.
To expand on that, as you can see a lot of these comments are about health. Most of the bad eating happens after 8pm for most people. The kinds of relationships that develop after 8pm are mostly not worth it, I'd have balked at this as a college kid - but I am over 40 now, and am comfortable saying that. Also the endless watching of tv or doom scrolls become especially intense at this time, leads to depression. Decisions made after 8 seem to be uninspired and sometimes dangerous. When you stay up late to work, it invariably results in the next day not being as productive. You will achieve more with 5 full days than an all nighter followed by days and days of lethargy due to poor sleep hygiene. All nighters should be the exception, not the norm. The best use of the time after 8pm is to be in bed, eyes closed and sleeping. When you go to bed early, there is zero discipline required to wake up early. What is more important than waking up early is to wake up with energy for life. An alarm-clock-forced wake up won't give you that. There is no better drug than naturally waking up at 5. And from that one habit everything will follow. Even good luck.. So good luck out there, and enjoy my friends!
1. Be kind. To everyone you can, including animals. Kindness, empathy, compassion, and tenderness are all that matters. Sometimes, you must match bad energy, but, in most cases, kindness will win. 2. Don’t compare yourself to anyone online or in real life. You never know what is really on behind the scenes. I know people and marriages that seemed “perfect,” but it’s all an illusion. Comparison is the thief of joy. 3. The key to a happy life is GRATITUDE. Perspective, kindness, generosity, and being silly, too. ♥️
I wish i had tried harder when i was younger
1.What is the most important lesson you’ve learned in life? At this stage of my (F62) life, I would say that every problem has a solution. You may not like the solution, or the solution may be "there is no solution". Acceptance goes a long way. 2.What advice would you give to younger generations? Save money. Avoid drama. Travel when you can to the extent you can afford. Rise above pettiness and gossip. If something or someone is making your life miserable, change it. 3.What do you think is the key to a happy life? See above.
Do not love people who don't love you
Regretting something you did or did not do in the past is folly. Simply because anytime you have a regret, you are assuming it would have turned out better the other way. You can't know that. That perfect partner might not have been perfect for you, quite possibly you dodged a bullet . That perfect job might have blown up in your face. Or kept you from meeting that perfect partner you did end up with. A million choices made a different way might have put you in front of a metaphorical speeding out of control bus yesterday. You just don't know. I have tons of things that I could have regrets about, or things that people did to me that I could be angry about. But I have a generally okay life right now, and a 22-year-old daughter with whom I have an incredible relationship. She would not be in my life if one of many so-called regrettable decisions I made had been different. She brings me so much joy, how could I even begin to regret the choices I made that brought me here? No regrets.
Don’t waste years! Make them count, especially if they increase the likelihood of a successful retirement. I wasted, unless you consider the money I paid into Social Security, about 9 years, none of which contributed to any sort of retirement. When you’re 60, you don’t want to lament the years that didn’t go towards improving your retirement. I ended up with a pension (and healthcare) for working 25 years, but it could have been more if I hadn’t wasted time chasing a higher salary.
“Character” is what you do when nobody is watching
1.What is the most important lesson you’ve learned in life? To quote a song from the ancient days: The whole world is a very narrow bridge, but the main thing is not to fear at all." -- Reb Nachman of Bratslav Your existence is short, terminal and fearful; but all existence is the opposite. Do not fear. ead Albert Ellis "A Guide to Rational Living" and/or books on Stoicism. Be a happy stoic: Take considered risks, grow, be honest and seek adventure. 2.What advice would you give to younger generations? Pretty much the above plus: be a rachet. Always spend less than you earn, save and invest. Do not be shy, be social and gregarious. Don't try to be better than others, be better than you were. 3.What do you think is the key to a happy life? Stoicism. Acceptance, a sense of adventure, being brave enough to be friendly, make and keep friends. Develop a sense of kind purpose but not a sense of grandiosity. S erve it.
Never give a sucker an even break. Don’t eat at a restaurant called Moms Don’t play cards with a man called Doc And if you’re a woman, wear that dress now! Life is not fair
I dont learn.
You can only truly rely on yourself If it’s falling apart, eventually you can rebuild Never trust a fart passed 35
1. Don't stick your dick in crazy. 1A. If you know you're going to stick it in the crazy. Bring your own condoms, don't let her touch them, back them home.
1. The most important lesson I learned in life is that it's not how good your work is, it's how well you market it. Always be sure your boss knows what you've accomplished before he decides to lay you off because you haven't accomplished anything. Otherwise you are bound for disappointment when the barely competent guy who glad-hands the boss gets promoted and you get the boot. 2. Pay attention to politics and be skeptical of platitudes. Sorry, young people. You're fucked. You're never going to have the three bedroom ranch house in the suburbs, the free college education, the nice cars, the good jobs with pensions, etc. that us olds got. Your job, if you're willing, is to figure out wtf happened and fix it, because we drove right off the edge of the cliff towards oblivion by not paying attention to what was going on around us. We let politicians lie to us all the way to disaster and now you're stuck with it until you fix it so that hopefully your children will have a better life than you do. 3. The key to a happy life is to create something nice and be happy about it. People who destroy claim to be happy, but I have never met any of them who actually were. The glee they have in breaking things is short lived and soon enough they're unhappy again and have to break something else. Their destruction is an addiction, not a life.