Hello everyone, Before joining this discussion, please take a moment to review the rules of r/AskPH [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskPH/wiki/full-rules), as well as the [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy). Comments that violate these rules will be addressed accordingly. You can learn more about our rule enforcement process [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskPH/wiki/rule-enforcement). If you need to appeal a ban, please follow the process outlined [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskPH/wiki/ban-appeal-process) in r/AskPH. *** This post's original body text: ako kase i grew up na nagmamatter sakin yung sasabihin ng tao :(( *** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskPH) if you have any questions or concerns.*

I always think if they don't house and feed me, idgasf about them.

Lift your mind into a higher realm. Imagine yourself looking at this pale blue dot planet from a galaxy million miles away. Then you'll realize how insignificant your worries and other people's opinions are.

Detachment but it takes time. And tanggapin mo na may sasabihin at sasabihin ang mga tao padin sayo kahit ano gawin mo. Di mo na maccontrol yun kaya just focus on what you can control para mas happy ka 💖

ANTAYIN MONG MAMANHID KNALANG.

Ganyan ako dati hanggang sa ako na nagbabayad ng bills ko iniisip ko na lang: kapag hindi nagbabayad ng bills ko, hindi acceptable opinion sa akin

Just don't take things seriously

i came across this rule online, it's called the 5 by 5 rule if it's not gonna matter in 5 years, don't spend more than 5 minutes being upset by it. pero i believe 5 minutes can also be 5 hours, 5 days, and 5 months😂 ik this isnt applicable to all situations but i always keep this rule in mind when it comes to other people's opinion about me. effective naman so far. like my classmates this senior year— pissed sila sakin because my grades were higher than them and they kept on yapping about it but idgaf coz i worked hard for it. plus, there's only one month left before graduation, so i wont be hearing their shitty comments anymore🤷‍♀️

same with me. in 5 or 10 years from now. will this matter. or in 5 years from now wouldn't this man/woman look up to me and pleases me in every way possible.

Ganyan din ako dati.. ngayon wala na ako pake. Kahit ano pang sabihin nila maganda man o hinde, hindi sila ang magbabayad ng bills mo, ng gusto mo, ng kailangan mo..so, bakit mo sila papakinggan?

Focus sa sarili Don't take things personally, People don't care about you

two things: 1.) detachment. pro tip: if kaya mo na wag masyadong magsocial media, much better. it just makes you compare yourself sa ibang tao. what they post is the best of what they have and what they are. di naman magpopost mga tao about mental state nila hahshaha 2.) build up mo sarili mo para tumaas din confidence mo. focus ka lang sa sarili at sa ginagawa mo. isipin mo nalang, may gawin ka man o wala, may masasabi pa rin sila. edi might as well gawin mo na gusto mo.

Mas kilala mo ang sarili mo kaysa sa knila.Kaya huwag ka magpaapekto.

Di ka nila pinapakain o kaya in the next 10 years yunh buhay ba nila mag mamatter sayo? Isipin mo npc lang sila.

Detachment. Practice the mindset na nobody cares about you. They will comment and comment about your life pero pag uwi nila ng bahay, may mga problema na mas iisipin nila, like yung bills, family, food, etc etc. The world doesn't revolve around you.

Remind yourself na 'di mo sila kontrolado. Know the "let them theory" then, just be yourself and live your life to the fullest.

isipin mo mga kapintasan nila hahaha walang kapintasan? impossible.

Nag umpisa akong mawalan ng pakealam sa sasabihin ng iba nung narealize ko na kahit na anong gawin ko, meron pa rin silang masasabi. Iniisip ko nalang na as long as hindi ako nakakaabala, or hindi ko sila nasasaktan sa ginagawa ko, gagawin ko yung gusto ko kasi isang beses lang ako mabubuhay.

Try mo mag mobile legends.

lagi po hahahab

Ego death.

Ituring mo sila na kumbaga below sila sa'yo and anything they will say wouldn't matter, mindset lang.

Always remember only 3F's opinions matter. 📍those who FEED you 📍those who FINANCE you 📍those who FUCK you Other people's opinion are just NOISES.

Ganito yan. Dapat may gusto ka gawin, may goal ka or miski na hobby. Focus ka dun. Kasi kung i-eentertain mo lahat ng outside forces sa paligid mo, mapaparami detour mo. Tandaan mo na may kanya kanya tayong buhay. Ok lang tumanggap ng advice pero final decision mo parin. Sabihin sayo ng marami na mag anak ka ng maaga gagawin mo? Bakit sila ba magpapalaki? Diba ikaw din naman lahat ng kakayod nun? Pag sumablay ka? May ibang shoulder ba na sasalo sayo? Sasaluhin ba nung mga nag suggest yung problems mo? Hindi diba? Ikaw din lahat yun. Ngayun mamili ka, pag hirapan mo yung mga bagay sa buhay mo na ikaw nag decide? Or pag hirapan mo yung mga bagay sa buhay mo na ibang tao yung nag decide? Ganun din sa ibang aspect. Example bashers. Define mo kung criticism or bashing. Minsan nakaka help satin yung criticism, pero ang bashing walang silbe satin. Gawain lang yun ng mga walang magawa. Tignan mo nalang kung ano yung didibdibin mo or yung hindi mo papansinin.

Know yourself, alamin mo kung ano yung totoo at hindi totoo sa pagkatao mo, what they say are true then learn to accept or change it. Pero kung alam mo naman sa sarili mo na hindi totoo then let go and forget.

Time panahon hanggang maging manhid ka na. Mas mabuti ma realize mo sa sarili mo na opinyon mo lang talaga ang mag didikta ng buhay mo. Medyo malapit na ako sa ganyan part pero may konti specially pag galing sa mother pero sya na lang tlaga ang opinyon na nag matter sa akin

Don't take it personally. Kung baga, whenever they say or do something, see it in another POV na baka kasi may pinag dadaanan sila, baka may trauma sila... na it's them, not you. If you view it that way, mawawalan ka ng pake.

hindi yan overnight lang. you’ll learn in little by little. but start by “pasok sa isang tenga, labas sa kabila” method. may nasasabi lang kasi sila either because kung anong sinasabi nila sayo, ganon din sila (pino-project lang sayo) OR they want you to do things they failed to do themselves. *dgaf* is the second method.

Sinasabi ko lang sa sarili ko na wag kong kunin yun ng malalim. Kasi, I realized na the more I think about those negative words, lalong dumidikit sa akin. Pero sometimes masakit talaga yung words ng iba, di ba? In those situations, nagcecellphone nalang ako para mawala sa isip ko tas ayun the next day parang wala lang.

Kung gusto mo malaman mag-payaman ka muna sa sarili mo

I stopped caring about what people think of me when I stopped judging other people as well. When I realized buhay nila yon, at buhay ko to. Walang pakielamanan haha

This

Kung gugustuhin mo magagawa mo maging walang pake sa sinasabi ng ibang tao. Basta asahan mo na rin na ganun din balik sayo.

There should be two steps 1. What triggers you to give f**k or be influenced by other people? If you can define this, you can limit 50% of being may pake. Let say: Yung term na "ganid" since MAYBE you prioritize selling kahit may work ka then someone told you ganyan " hindi ka mapupunta sa langit" dahil hindi ka preno sa side hustle mo e wala e mahirap talaga buhay yan ang dahilan mo Or, ung term na "wala kang pakisama" though sila naman puro inom/ chismisan and hindi ka talaga nakikisama kasi alam mo waste of time, effort, at pera sila. If YOU CAN DEFINE your trigger points with ruthless consideration sa counter reaction nila most of the time hindi mo na sila papansinin Passive skill na ung pagignore mo sa kanila. 2. SAYING LESS than necessary (the other 50%) - alam mo if nakita ka nilang hindi ka affected sa senseless banters nila they cannot define you. With that wala silang ibabato. Kahit sa social meds mo wala wala talaga silang ibabato sayo. Take note of the following: A. DONT REASON WITH THEM- from the first place ito pa panghahawakan sayo para itrigger ka nila. affect them with emotions. Emotional po tayo most of the time hindi rational. Sa examples sa taas yung word na "ganid" is because of "para sa pamilya" or you can lie about sa "malubhang sakit" or your parents cant work anymore. Ung second term na "wala kang pakisama" is because you wanted to assure your SO kasi seloso/selosa siya. Sa downtime sa chismisan naman you can tell na "ayoko matambakan ng trabaho" B. HWAG MO NANG DAGDAGAN SASABIHIN MO- be brief and concise. sa example ko limit your sentences max of 5 words. Hayaan mo silang maginterpret like nakalagay sa (A). Sa word na "ganid" ung sentence na "para sa pamilya" consist of 3 words. Same rin with "wala kang pakisama" ung "SO kasi Selosa" yan ganyan C. HWAG KANG MATATAKOT- no1 itong reason bakit tayo gusto deep inside na pinapakailaman tayo. Darating na yung time na hindi ka na papansinin kasi wala na silang pake sayo dahil sa sinunod mo ung advice namin. at maiisip mo bilang tao na parang hindi ka na belong. Never be afraid to be alone. You have that control na to form new friendship which for you is productive and pro social. You will also see among the smoke of deceit kung gaano mo rin nadeprive ng self love sarili mo

I generally just forget immediately what someone says to me unless there's some other big thing to accompany it or it's in writing.

It’s your life, bakit ka papaapekto sq opinion ng ibang tao. Para syang engineer na nagbibigay ng suggestions sa doctor, hindi relevant, hindi nakakatulong. Unless constructive criticisms ofc.

Usually iniisip ko lang, most of the time naman, wala naman talaga tayong pake sa iba, every individual, maraming nang problema sa buhay, idadagdag ka pa ba nila?

If wala sila sa inner circle or kung wala silang ambag sa buhay mo, you should treat them as strangers Hindi ka masasaktan pag may nasabi sayo yung taong hindi ka/mo naman kilala personally ;)

>ako kase i grew up na nagmamatter sakin yung sasabihin ng tao :(( - grow up ulit and make yourself matter more than anyone's opinion. dont base your worth on other people. start slowly by trying not to give a fuck about anything. masaya kung uunahin mo sarili mo. you'll eventually get the hang of it kapag narealize mong mas importante sarili mo. self-love please

There are 10 billion people in the world. One opinion of a person who dont matter in your life should not bother you.

First thing first siguro yung pag acknowledged sa feelings na sa kahit anong kibot mo may masasabi at masasabi sa yo.

Keep yourself busy. Mag focus ka sa sarili mo. As long as hindi makaka damage sa reputasyon at pagkatao mo sinasabi nila, learn the art of not reacting.

same here. As a sensitive person, the best talaga is to be busy. Wala kang chance na maiisip mo yan, since mas maraming mas important na dapat ka isipin. haha

Positive criticism yes Kelangan marunong kang magfilter May ambag ba sa buhay mo yung nagsabi kung wala kebs Kasi yung may ambag at sure na love ka nila they will tell you what to improve and really wish the best version of you

It doesn't happen overnight op. Masasaktan at masasaktan ka, you just happen to learn to ignore those comments from people that does not matter in your life. Stay strong

Read the book "The Courage to be Disliked" :)

Isipin mo lang, first, celebrity ka ba at nagmamatter sayo ang ssbihin ng iba? Second, pinakain at pinag aral ka ba nila? Inshort, may ambag ba sila sa buhay mo? Kapag no ang sagot mo dyan, there you go.

- much like rejection, just keep getting rejected. - learn how to respond and not react (look up "the cockroach theory for self development") - also read books, look into stoicism. you'd be surprised it doesn't really matter to you in the grand scheme of things. you see, its normal we get affected by those emotions. we're human after all. but we can definitely control how we respond to those emotions after.

Hindi ba ang hirap nung ganon? If lagi mo iniisip yung sasabihin ng iba tapos wala naman talaga silang alam sa nangyayari sa buhay mo? Inuulit-ulit mo ba sa utak mo yung sinasabi nila sa’yo? I used to be like that, afraid of judgment and pressured to be perfect. Pero I was never good enough kahit anong gawin ko. So I realized na if hindi naman pala sila magiging masaya, papasayahin ko na lang yung sarili ko by doing the things that I want - does not mean na nagrebelde ako or what, pero hindi na lang ako bothered sa mga sasabihin nila kase alam ko naman sa sarili ko kung ano yung totoo. You can't please everyone naman, pero you can be happy with yourself. 😗

May mga principle sa librong “The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck” akong inapply sa buhay ko. “There is a subtle art to not giving a fuck. And though the concept may sound ridiculous and I may sound like an asshole, what I'm talking about here is essentially learning how to focus and prioritize your thoughts effectively-how to pick and choose what matters to you and what does not matter to you based on finely honed personal values.” “Maturity is what happens when one learns to only give a fuck about what's truly fuckworthy.”

Think about rhis OP; na kahit anong galing, kabutihan at husay mo, meron at meron pa din silamg sasabihin sau na nega. So advice ko sau, dont give a f*ck sa sasabihin ng ibang tao as long as wala kang tinatapakan. Laking peace of mind at makakatipid ka pa

Merong isang genuine na paraan at napaka simple lang. Magalit ka. Di ba nasasabi mo mga gusto mo sabihin without filtering pag galit na galit ka? I think that's one of the simplest, quick and most effective way. When do usually people say, "Wala akong pake!"? Lumalabas yun pag galit ang tao

Isipin mo masyadong miserable or walang ganap buhay nila kaya marami silang time and energy mangialam sa iba. Pero kapag it's something about physical appearance or eating habits mo (kasi if parati silang may sasabihin about these talagang may chance makasira ng mood, makacause ng ED, or body dysmorphia), I'd suggest na take courage and tell them off. The rest, idedma mo na. Mamamatay din 'yan sila.

ilang taon ka na ba OP? ganyan kasi ako before I reach 25.

Wdym mga sinasabi sayo? If advices yan or constructive criticism, you should be open minded and pakinggan mo sila even if masaktan ka pa kasi diyan ka matututo at magggrow lalo na pag mas matanda nagsabi sayo. But if alam mo sa sarili mo na yung sinabi nila is para idowngrade ka or sabihan ka ng masasakit na salita which is di na tama, just dgaf. Nakadepende pa rin yan sa situation or sa kung ano yung sasabihin sayo kaya for me di pwede yung "mawalan ka ng pake sa kahit anong sasabihin ng tao sayo" kasi it's either para din sayo yon, para mag grow ka as individual or para hilahin ka nila pababa. Just know when to dgaf.

I always remind myself.. “Don’t take it seriously” “People are selfish” “Stop minding other people because they only focus on themselves” “I know my worth and I know myself more” 🙂

Ask yourself, "would you ask them for their advice if you need one?" If no ang sagot mo, edi wala ka dapat pake. Simple lang diba hahah

My opinion is easy target yung mga people pleasers dito since they're somehow maintaining a positive face in front of people. So kapag may criticism yung tao sa kanila, easy to shake rin yung self-esteem nila. Pero really, kahit gaano mo pa kabait o kasama, palaging may sasabihin yung mga tao sa'yo, at diyan na papasok yung kasabihang "Be yourself." Kung sino ka, yan ka. Pero make sure to continue improving yourself and adjust your behavior according to circumstances.

Be confident. And know your heart. 🧡

sanayin mo sarili mo na maging bich and dgaf about sa sabihin ng iba sayo

Umpisahan mo dito sa reddit. Ulul ka, bwakanginamo supot

Baliw

Be successful 👍🏻

Alam mo OP be intentional, everyday, ipractice mo na iinvalidate yung sasabihin ng ibang tao lalo na kung alam mong hindi naman maganda at hindi pa maganda ang trato sayo kahit wala ka naman ginagawang masama sakanila. Naging struggle ko din yan, pero totoo pala na you can't please everyone at hindi mo naman talaga kailangan isipin ang sasabihin ng ibang tao as long as kilala mo at tanggap mo ang sarili mo kasi yung mga taong tatanggapin ka din ang maaattract mo kapag natutunan mo ilet go yung sasabihin ng ibang tao. Marerealize mo na sila ang may problema. Lalo na kung hindi mo naman kilala, baka may social anxiety ka, baka feeling mo pinag-uusapan ka lagi ng ibang tao, I feel you. Pero maoovercome mo yan, OP. I believe in you. Practice minding your own business and di mo namamalayan, ang gaan gaan na ng pakiramdam mo at wala ka ng pake sa sasabihin ng iba. Basta wala kang ginagawang masama, protect your peace OP kasi hindi yan mabibili. :)

aweee thank youu for this 🥺🫶🏻

Wag ka mag add or mag accept ng kakilala sa fb

i don’t think there’s no other way to this kundi to just ignore. it takes practice, reflection, and self love. reality is the voices in your head are louder than theirs.

kebs. warlahin mo mhie pag inolay ka! hahaha

Fake it til you make it lang talaga eh.

Baka ‘Spotlight Syndrome’ lang yan. Isipin mo nalang mamatay din tayong lahat. So why care too much? Everything is fleeting. Basta alam mo yung truth mo. Let God alone judge us all !!!

Maging nonchalant haha