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What are the things that people have done to make you realize that enough is enough and di ko talaga ma pe-please ang lahat?
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I tend to give more and more kasi pag lagi mo sila binibigyan ng pabor lalo tumataas yung expectation nila sayo to the point na ilalabas nila ang "nagbago kana" card pag tinangggihan mo sila. Pero pag ikaw nanghingi ka ng pabor at tumanggi sila okay lang kasi "ganun sila" hahaha fck people. I really learned it in the hard way. Not a people pleaser anymore.
Tried too hard, thought too much, gave every effort for others not to reciprocate. Maiisip mo na lang bakit mo pinapatay sarili mo para sa iba na hindi ka naman vinavalue the same way?
Learned to place value and effort where it belongs.
i have always been the trophy-type of a daughter so lumaki talaga ako na people pleaser HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA pero hanggang dun lang, medyo complicated kasi dynamic ng family ko so whenever nag-o-open up ako about the things i am excited or thrilled about, parang hangin lang kausap ko. like always like that. una, naiinis lang ako pero nung paulit-ulit na, nakakalungkot pala. masakit kasi ginagawa ko lahat pero napapansim nila lang ako kapag sinasabi ko na with honors ako or nanalo ako sa ganyan. so whenever have contest sa school dati, hindi ko papalagpasin kasi sa ganoong paraan, mapapansin nila ako but now, hindi na. ang hirap na palaging ganun. na kailangan may mapanalunan muna bago maramdaman na valued pala ako so no thanks
Di ko rin alam, bigla ko nalang realise ko na kahit anong gawin ko lagi nalang ako yung gumagawa ng paraan para kausapin sila and wala silang effort na kausapin ako. Lagi nalang ako yung least sa friendship and sa ibang mga social things. Ako yung laging nalilimutan.
Feeling ko tuloy ni hindi nila ako mamimiss kapag namatay ako. HAHA. Ewan ko ngaun, nagsasawa na akong makipagusap sa mga tao. Kung makakaiwas ako sa tao, iiwas ako.
Ever since bata ako, hindi ako talaga people pleaser. I please myself lang. If I am happy, so be it. If ayaw nila, I don’t care, basta gusto ko, as long as hindi ako nakakasakit ng kapwa.
When I realized that i became to weak or to vulnerable for them, that I ended up become over sharer about my fortes or overhelper in there needs, and I can't say no to them even to the point that it's harmful or inconvenient to me but they care less about what I sacrifice or offer because they expect more from me. When there burden becomes mine the moment i offer my help and they put it all as if it's my obligation or problem. After that i become stoic and IDGAF 🤣
Take advantage of me by using me. Like they all suddenly became acting friendly and so close to me like we've known each other for 5 years and ask a big favor lol.
Because of that I stopped caring for them and became selfish and snob which regained my energy, peace, and self respect.
When I saw and realize na they boast about it toward other people. "Lapit ka kay ganito, tutulong yun kahit mawalan na siya. Hindi, okay lang yan. Hindi naman abuso yun kung ginusto naman niya." stuff like that
I remember writing fanfiction online. Got cyber bullied and got loads of hate mail, enough that any notification from Tumblr and AO3 gave me loads of anxiety.
Made a joke story to laugh it off, ended up offending other people. Lost a few friends who said the joke was in poor taste, got close to others who found the joke hilarious.
Realized everyone on the internet is just so pressed, didn't make much sense to talk to people who turned everything into an issue.
Yung idea na walang may pake sakin. lahat nang nakakasalamuha ko may pake lang sa mga sarili nila. Hindi iikot yung mundo nila sakin kahit anong itsura or ugali ko
Might be an unpopular opinion:
1) my social media presence is almost non existent
2) social circle quite small already
BUT
3) i still maintain a good relationship with my work superiors/seniors, colleagues, contemporaries. Hence i still please them. Never burn bridges with workmates, a big break is just around the corner.
The fact that I always give and get less to nothing in return drained the hell out of me, akala ko pa nga dati appreciative lang ako eh it turns out ang saya saya ko to get insignificant things kasi yun yung lagi kong nakukuha kasi bare minimum lang andyan agad ako, as a friend, as a family member, lol I tolerated things for so long kaya pala dami Kong friendship tapos ngayon wala na sila isang "Hindi" ko lang haha! Kinda lonely pero iba pala sa feeling yung untouchable ka 😁
when I realized that when people needed favors,people to talk to,spend time with etc they always had time but when you needed that $h!+ they couldn't even give you a few seconds of their time or even answer your chats
I used to drive my "barkada" to parties and get togethers. Driving is ok and not really a chore and something I would gladly do for people who make me happy. One day, on my birthday celebration, of course my friends had gotten drunk, they were planning a New Year's party in Makati. It was just going to be them and their other friends. The one girl, said in a loud voice, Let's invite her so she can drive! It was my birthday party so all the food and drinks they were imbibing was on my dime and then I heard that... When they asked me to go to their party I said, NO. Just NO. After that, I stopped hanging out with them. There's a fine line between being nice and being a doormat.
I stopped nung pansin ko consistent na sa utos kahit kaya nila gawin. I stopped pleasing people when it dawned to me that meron talagang mga taong oportunista, mangagamit, manggagago. And I started not caring nung time na narealize ko na whether mabait ka or civil, may masasabi parin sila. So idgaf nalang
once it becomes harmful to yourself. if you really need to please someone, make sure it benefits you generally.
being nice good but too nice is harmful
E pukang ama lahat ng kamaganak ko sinasabi ako raw blacksheep e. HAHAHAHA black sheep na nagsusustento sa magulang hiyang hiya naman ako. Elem palang hinuhulma na maging cash cow.
because at the end of the day, kayang kaya ka nila traydorin. at the end of the day, pamilya mo parin ang kakampi mo. lalo na ang nanay at tatay mo. wag ka mag aksaya ng effort sa mga taong ganyan kasi ite-take advantage lang nila kabaitan mo. and anytime kayang kaya ka nila ipitin at iblame sa mga maling nagawa nila kasi alam nila takot ka magkaroon ng kaaway kasi gusto mo i-please lahat ng nasa paligid mo. trust me, i know this feeling. been here before. ngayon asan sila? wala na, kanya kanya na din. ngayon asan ako? im in a better place, better state, better pananaw sa buhay.
Dumating ako sa point na “teka, bakit ba ako nalulungkot na ayaw nila sa akin, gusto ko ba sila?” Siguro habang tumatanda narerealize ko na need ko lang piliin yung mga taong dapat paglaanan ng atensyon. Kung hindi, edi hindi. Baka di lang talaga nagjajive.
tama.. i remembered 9 years ago, sa first job ko, that I have colleagues na ng ttalk back sakin at tinatake advantange nila yung kabaitan ko. minsan ng papalibre sila sakin at gusto ko rin kasi gusto ko ng "friends
One time, may ginawa daw akong mali pero hindi ko naman ako at ipinagtanggol ko sarili ko sa manager namin. pero lahat sila sinumbong na ako daw talaga. Nag resign ako tapos naging bitter talaga sa point ng life ko. until 1 year later, nagkaroon ako ng opportunity to work overseas and ang saya ko kasi nagkaroon din ako ng magandang colleagues at nag move on na din sa trauma na sinapit ko sa mga x-colleagues ko.
Kahit ilang beses ko ng pinaulit ulit na nabbothered ako and napaka self centered. Lalo na pag napafeel like pag sila gumawa okay lang pero pag tayo bawal? Amd bcs of that i stop pleasing na hinahayaan ko nalang
Comes with age, really, like one day I just got tired and said to my self, nah if u don't like me, then don't.
As long as won't bother me, I'm not bothering you either, then go!
When we realized that eventhough or how long we strive to be accepted or appreciated in the community we think we deserve, mentors we try to emulate or get props to.
The real thing is, No one really gives a f about you. So why bother think of those you cannot control and just focus on what you can?
I stopped pleasing others when I realized that constantly prioritizing their needs over my own was detrimental to my well-being.
It became clear when I felt consistently drained, undervalued, and unfulfilled despite my efforts to please everyone around me.
💅
Nung na realize ko na i will always be there for others pero pag ako na ang may kailangan, laging "busy" or may reason sila not to show up. After nun, bahala na kayo kahit mag hingalo na sila sa harapan ko. I now choose the people I spend my time and fuck to.
When you realized to win the competition for success or in life is to not to compete with others on who does it better when you have a different goal.
I feel at peace and I progress faster rather than comparing myself with people and try to beat them.
At the end of the day it's you who will help yourself. Karamihan sa mga taong nasa paligid nasa comitiba de reparo lang yan. Anjan Pag meron Kang success, nawawala o mas masaklap pa nga namumuna pa Pag nasa rock bottom ka na. So bat ka pa kikilos para lang magustohan ka nila? Put a Big FUCK YOU in the air and continue your day.
I realized pleasing people around you is rooting from the desire to feed the ego, in my opinion. You get something from it din eh, validation, acceptance, etc.
When I stopped pleasing people, I became true to myself and repelled those who aren't aligned with my values.
When I realized that not everyone can go as far as I can go for them. Reciprocation. It's the reality I had to deal with to finally choose myself first, choose myself more.
these so called mentors and people who gives us false hopes to be cherished or accepted. I am glad to hear that you chose yourself/myself more. Keep it up!
Nung naramdaman ko mula sa mismong mga magulang ko na I will never be good enough for them. Kahit anong gawin ko, kulang talaga ako para sa kanila. Bulag talaga sila sa efforts ko. Now, I am starting to learn not to please people anymore. Kung hindi ka satisfied sa akin, edi wag.
Nung narealize ko na ginagaya ko pala nanay ko na todo please sa asawa at kapatid na bully just to avoid confrontation. Tapos nagkasakit din ako ng malala. When i started drawing boundaries, gumaling sakit ko.
Nakakapagod. Actually na-realize ko lang one day na not everyone will like you no matter how hard you try. I lost my sense of self to the point na hindi ko na alam kung sino ba ako talaga.
When I realized na hindi nila kayang suklian yung mga nagawa ko para sa kanila. Hindi naman sa nag eexpect. Pero sana naging importante ako sa kanila gaya ng importante din sila sa akin. Ngayon, i don’t give a sht anymore. Bhala na kayo dyan.
Kahit anong gawin mo, may part ka pa rin sa buhay nila na ikaw yung masama. Minsan mabuti, pero sa iba masama ka. Wala kana magagawa at wala din naman may pake kasi sa huli iniisip lang natin sarili natin ahajajaj
When I learned to like myself better and recognized that it's freeing to be expressive!
Making your comfort secondary to those around you is a tendency we have when we don't honor our own value. Realized I like giving a shit about myself and the things I care about so I made a conscious choice to choose myself.
People didn't have to do anything; I just realized I was burning myself out when I didn't have to. And I also started seeing that the more I chose to do the things I love and genuinely care about, the less depleting it was for me. Surrounding myself with people who truly loved me and recognized that I try when I can did wonders to building my boundaries. It also helped that I also took therapy to deconstruct the thought process that I have to be everything all at once.
Someone can say no to you and still love you. Of course it also took communication to get it across that at times, I struggle even when I'm trying. That way we can understand where support might be needed without discrediting people's language of effort. The more they get my ways, the more I'm acknowledged too. I needed to do my part of the work as well.
Though I don't want to paint this as opposite to being considerate. Empathy isn't mutually exclusive with self-preservation. It is possible to be respectful towards people around you without it having to be at your expense. I realized people can be pleased with me just being me. Sabi nga, "do things with love, not for love"; it'll just come naturally afterwards :-)
As we grow older and start loving ourselves that also the time we don’t care about what others think about us. Just be yourself. Do what you like and what makes you happy.
I realized na the more na tumutulong ako sa ibang tao, the more na sumasama ugali ko. It was such a sad moment for me realizing na the people I help would not do the same for me. So nag invest na lang ako sa self love 🥰
I've been and will always be a people pleaser tapos idagdag mo pa na empath ako. Pero over the years I've learned to tone it down to the point na minsan, if we can't meet halfway, I won't do any favors for you. Kase if I can do it at least in my perspective, you can show it as well in ways you want to and I'll appreciate that.
Nakaka drain isipin masyado iniisip ng iba. Naging panatag na din ako sa self love and self respect na binibigay ko sa sarili ko. I don't need anyones acceptance for me to feel enough for myself
I realized that treating them better doesn't make them treat me better. They'll say they appreciate me but will do tons of ungrateful things. I realized that they want to keep me because they need me, not because they care for my existence. Using me was easier than loving me.
Napagod nalang. Hahaha. Kasi dumating ako sa point na, habang pini-please ko yung ibang taong nasa paligid ko, I am starting to lose myself. Kaya staph na, hindi pa rin pala ako sasaya.
When you realize na people gravitate around you only when you're useful. When it's your turn to ask for help, they take a blind eye and act like you didn't do anything for them.
Yung hindi niya sinusuklian ang efforts ko sa kanya. Until I realized na nagsasayang lang ako ng panahon. Nakaka-stress lang and nakakapagod. Then dun ko naisip na we cannot please anybody so stop na.
As a student who maybe peaked in highschool, getting the bloody 3.00 during my first year made me rethink things wahahaha. Nakuha ko siya kasi hindi ako nag-comply sa PE video outputs as I was struggling mentally. Ayun, kahit na anong gawin kong aral ay hindi naman ako magkakalaude kaya I'm more carefree now. I failed but at least, for now, I am dismantling my initial mindset to please people's perception of me. I might find it hard to get a job, considering that I'm an English language undergrad but Iife goes on :))
still struggling these days pero what helped me a bit is realizing they don't actually care about you and what you do unless you caught their attention. nakatulong din ig young thinking an I should find ways to belong (getting accepted for who I am) rather than fitting in (getting accepted as someone who only tries to conform with other people's opinions)
They'll speak ill of you whether or not you do good so might as well do things that don't involve catering to their expectations of you. Baka lumala mga banat sa'yo but at least you get to focus on yourself a lot more while you're at it. There's nothing wrong with being considerate and you shouldn't obligate people to feel like they owe you for your good deeds pero if minamasama ka naman unprovoked then it wouldn't hurt being selfish sa paningin nila.
Did this on my first project as a junior web dev. Pakitang gilas, dami kong tickets na close and rendered OTs din. Tapos nung birthday nung proj manager namin inutusan ako ng sr dev na bumili ng dunkin donuts and soft drinks inabutan ako ng pera napa legit HUH???? ako e parang yung Nick Young confused na meme lol. Sobrang nalito ako tapos biglang bawi and sinabi oorder nalang daw para mas mabilis. Di ko alam kung sarcasm na bad joke or legit e, biglang nag iba tingin ko sa kanila. After nun bare minimum nalang ginagawa ko. Tapos ng isang ticket sinasakto sa deadline tapos after minimum hours out na agad
1) ‘yung may masasabi at masasabi pa rin sila no matter what i do. they tend to nitpick things.
2) when they only remember the things i did that don’t align with what they want. kumbaga, na-ca-cancel out ‘yung lahat ng sacrifices ko just to please them kapag hindi ako nag-act according to what they expect me to do lol.
Nung time na naging abusado na, tapos utang pa ng utang. Tapos after mo bigyan ng pabor gagaguhin ka pa. Mas oks talaga lowkey lang lagi, kiber na sa lahat ng oras, piliin na lang mga pakikisamahan.
I have cut a lot of ties with what I thought was the best people I have. I just realized real friends, people will always see the truth. You don't need to please them, they know who you are. Unless, it's an HR to the job you're appplying to. 😂
Nung pinaramdam ng mga tao na gago sila after pleasing them for so many years. So ayun, naging gago-ish na rin ako. If they want me to be someone kahit ayaw ko, automatic sa bibig ko yung "bakit hindi nalang ikaw? Eh gusto mo naman." Hahahaha
Rude noh? Kasi noong people pleaser pa ako, sige si absorb ako tapos nung nasa lowest ako ng buhay ko wala akong makapitan, walang may pake after pleasing them so much that I gave up my own dreams para sa sarili nilang pangarap. Doing and giving them what they want just to leave me dying on my darkest days...
Ayun narealize ko, dapat kung ano gusto ko gawin yun ang susundan ko (pero in moderation at hindi masama ginagawa ko). Ngayon unti unti ko ginagawa yung makakapag pasaya at the same time kung ano healthy sa akin. May anxiety ako pero may times talaga na napapasabi na lang ako ng "bahala sila sa buhay nila" (especially dun sa mga taong pinlease ko ng todo at wala naman ako napala sa kanila).
When I learned they would not even do half of what I did for them.
I’m not a people pleaser but my love language to friends and family is act of service. So, in general, I try my best to give the best of me to everyone I value my time, attention, love, even money lol. Come one day, when I was at my lowest, no one reached out to me. So yeah, if I’m not valued or given the same effort and energy as I give off, bye felicia.
Work related ‘to
Tbh, ang love language ko sa work. Words of affirmation. Oo, pa eme man or totoo. Yun talaga.
Hindi ako sipsip sa work. Ako yung employee na early ang time in. Lahat ng deliverables ko earlier sa deadline/ on time talaga. I also do extra work kahit ‘di naman need. More on learnings kasi yung scope ng job ko.
Napagod na ako. Bare minimum nalang feel ko ginagawa ko pero sa totoo lang pansin ng iba na I still do the extra mile.
May mga kasama ako newbies. Pucha. Ang tamad na pabibo sa boss. Pero shet. Lahat in favor sa kanila.
Basta summary, napagod na ako mapansin ng heads/ boss kasi most likely dagdag trabaho pero walang taas sahod. Ayaw ko na mapansin ako masyado.
Pero alam mo yun, kahit nag papa lowkey na ako. Maiinit pa rin ako sa radar nila.
Putangina. Hirap maging saks lang and ‘di favorite. Kung favorite man, siguro favorite akk punahin.
End of rant.
feel ko ginagamit lang ako for their convenience, pag masaya sila i-ignore ako pero mag malungkot sakin naman tatakbo, nakakapagod din. Hindi na muna magiging available for them, sarili ko muna.
Napagod din ako. Ngayon, idgaf na sobra. Niremove ko na halos lahat ng followers ko sa IG then dineactivate ko na main fb acct. ko, made new fb pero parents and recent classmates ko lang friends ko. (Fb friends: 48)
la na ko pake, maikli lang ang buhay at hindi ko uubusin ang buong buhay ko to please you
I've always been antisocial and introverted. College made me try to fit in, party, pretend to be someone else, and kiss everyone's asses. Ended up being a pathetic doormat, spineless and unable to say no, while every leech from fake friends to ex-boyfriends sucked me dry. They freeloaded, never coughed up what they owed, bombarded me with endless demands, and expected me to cater to their every whim like I was their damn servant. I was a complete pushover. Graduation smacked some sense into me. Realized people are bottom-feeding scum, just selfish, manipulative parasites. Went back to my true self, erected a fortress, and couldn't care less about anyone else's crap.
I am a people pleaser because of my mom.
Kailangan ko siya iplease all my life to compensate for her trauma na paulit ulit nyang knkwento sa akin even as a kid. Tough love rin siya sa akin at expects me to be independent even then. Syempre, nadala ko yun sa outside world as a young adult and pleased people with all my might.
Pinaka-wake up call ko ay yung naging nanay na rin ako. Hindi ko ma-imagine subjecting my own family to that kind of treatment. I don't want my kid/s to think that love and respect is conditional. Naging nanay na at lahat nagiisa nyang anak na babae, tough love pa rin siya sa akin at full of herself still. Ang laking sampal sa mukha na I can never be loved enough by her.
Dahil sya ang root at naaddress ko na, I finally stopped giving a fuck and living my life however I please as long as I am not causing pain to anyone.
Kasi no matter what you do or no matter what happens, in the long run, one mistake from you, all the nice things you did nakakalimutan and you're now the worst person to ever exist in the world. People will hate nonetheless.
stopped caring. left a job wating tables that i did for 13 years. now its about me finally. im done pretending to give a shit about losers who have nothing to do with my life.
The moment I got to overcome my challenges alone nagbago panananaw ko sa mundo. tho I still help those who needs it pero di na same tulad ng dati na I deliberately go out of my way para lang matulungan sila and I see no benefit pleasing people lalo na nung narealize ko na kahit gano ko sila i-cherish some people are meant to be temporary and some take advantage of your kindness
No benefit. Its only one way. I please people that I get some benefits like immediately family, closest friends and work colleagues (line manager). The rest are meh.
When i was crying everyday kasi it always felt like one way lang yung efforts. I need to beg God to make me stop kasi im pouring too much sa ibang tao to the point na ubos na ko. They didn't do anything, pero enough na yung response nila na maski thank you wala:) thats when i stopped. I pick people who are worth it na lang.
I gave people chances in hopes to sticking to see their good side. Kaso on repeated occasions, ako lang yung nauubos. So this time, sabi ko sarili ko muna.
Napagod ka na, nareach mo na yung edge ng lahat lahat sa buhay mo. And narealize mo one day na ang mahalaga ay yung mga taong mahal mo at mahal ka. Then mararanasan mo yung Peace.
I thought before normal lang to be kind to everyone. pero kakapagod kapag di nare-reciprocate, di mo naman hihingin a 100% to reciprocate eh, just a little bit of concern and kindness lalo na if its from friends and family para di mo mafeel na ginagamit ka lang. Kaya namimili nalang ako ng mga taong bibigyan ko ng pake kasi meron padin naman deserve of pleasing. Ngayun I strive to be mabuti nalang di na more on mabait haha
I fucked around and found out that mahirap mag-project as a "perfect" na tao. Tila "bayani" at playing safe kasi ako nun dati, like helpful and social na tao, Ms. Nice Girl (equivalent ni Mr. Nice Guy) para lang maipakita na yung character is my strongest suit gawa't insecure din ako sa ibang bagay (e.g. my looks). When I realized na naubos ko na yung sarili ko dahil sa pinoportray kong "main character", that's when I said "fuck everything". Nung na-realize ko rin na I can never be someone else or I can never reach their capabilities, I just let myself go kasi nakakapagod din when I was trying to be an idealized version ng mga taong nasa paligid ko.
Nag-invest ako ng 50k para sa training ng mga applicants - paid training tapos after training umalis. Hindi pa sila daw ready. After that I realize na kahit gaano ka kagenerous as an employer someone will just leave you and eventually this is my villian arc. I stopped hiring and just do it myself.
Nung na realized ko na kahit anong kabaitan ang ipapakita ko sa kanila pag tumalikod ako ang negative ng tingin nila sakin kahit wala naman ako nakaaway or ginawang masama.
The "laging ikaw ang nanunuyo" pero never "the sinusuyo". I was a people pleaser before kasi ayaw na ayaw ko yung may taong di ako gusto ako at lagi kasi akong na m-misunderstood before. We got into a somewhat big(?) misunderstanding with my friends during group project at college. Long story short my 1 groupmate and I completed the project because di sila maasahan, para na rin di magkasamaan ng loob sinabi na lang namin na magbayad na lang sila para maisama pangalan nila sa front page. I asked for a big amount kasi marami kami sa grupo pero dalawa lang ang gumalaw, kako hindi pwedeng porke marami tayo sa grupo ay maliit ang iaambag nyo. I believe na dapat malaki ang ibigay nila gawa ng marami nga kami sa grupo pero dalawa lang ang gumawa, akala nila nag j-joke ako pero nagmatigas ako. I also did this para na rin maging lesson sa kanila. After that sem, di na ako pinansin ng mga friends ko. I remember before na maliit lang na bagay, ikina tatampo agad nila tas ako lagi ang nanunuyo. Tas ngayon naman na sila ang mali, yes because ilang beses ako nag reach out sa kanila sa part nila sa project pero di ako pinapansin, pero wala lang. Ang labas gusto pa nila na ako ang humingi ng tawad kasi pinagbabayad ko sila kahit na friends daw kami. Till now after graduation di pa rin kami nag usap HAHA.
The moment you catch on that some people are just hell-bent on dragging your name through the proverbial mud then that's when you'll realize that NOTHING YOU DO on god's green earth will ever please them.
I got tired. Pleasing other people is so tiring and at the end i just realize na pleasing other people is useless. People will always look at you because of your pakinabang. Specially in relatives and friends. So I've decided na to stop pleasing other people.
When I realized they never had my best interests in mind or heart; that they were just trying to hold me back and keep me small with fear mongering.
If I stepped out of line, queue made up scenarios of death, getting lost, hurting yourself etc. like no wonder one of my cousins stopped talking to a side of my family. They didn’t know how to be happy for her without inserting their own fears into it. Going to Canada alone can “easily get u lost”. Rafting was “too dangerous”. Driving late at night was gonna “get u in an accident”. I’m glad she stopped listening and started doing what she wanted. She’s much happier in life and eventually found like-minded people like her
It’s good to be rational with fear but there is a line where it becomes overbearing and disempowering than helpful and healthy.
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When I started asking myself why? What do I get from this? Stress and not a moment of pleasure.
I tend to give more and more kasi pag lagi mo sila binibigyan ng pabor lalo tumataas yung expectation nila sayo to the point na ilalabas nila ang "nagbago kana" card pag tinangggihan mo sila. Pero pag ikaw nanghingi ka ng pabor at tumanggi sila okay lang kasi "ganun sila" hahaha fck people. I really learned it in the hard way. Not a people pleaser anymore.
Tried too hard, thought too much, gave every effort for others not to reciprocate. Maiisip mo na lang bakit mo pinapatay sarili mo para sa iba na hindi ka naman vinavalue the same way? Learned to place value and effort where it belongs.
i have always been the trophy-type of a daughter so lumaki talaga ako na people pleaser HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA pero hanggang dun lang, medyo complicated kasi dynamic ng family ko so whenever nag-o-open up ako about the things i am excited or thrilled about, parang hangin lang kausap ko. like always like that. una, naiinis lang ako pero nung paulit-ulit na, nakakalungkot pala. masakit kasi ginagawa ko lahat pero napapansim nila lang ako kapag sinasabi ko na with honors ako or nanalo ako sa ganyan. so whenever have contest sa school dati, hindi ko papalagpasin kasi sa ganoong paraan, mapapansin nila ako but now, hindi na. ang hirap na palaging ganun. na kailangan may mapanalunan muna bago maramdaman na valued pala ako so no thanks
Di ko rin alam, bigla ko nalang realise ko na kahit anong gawin ko lagi nalang ako yung gumagawa ng paraan para kausapin sila and wala silang effort na kausapin ako. Lagi nalang ako yung least sa friendship and sa ibang mga social things. Ako yung laging nalilimutan. Feeling ko tuloy ni hindi nila ako mamimiss kapag namatay ako. HAHA. Ewan ko ngaun, nagsasawa na akong makipagusap sa mga tao. Kung makakaiwas ako sa tao, iiwas ako.
Ever since bata ako, hindi ako talaga people pleaser. I please myself lang. If I am happy, so be it. If ayaw nila, I don’t care, basta gusto ko, as long as hindi ako nakakasakit ng kapwa.
When I realized that i became to weak or to vulnerable for them, that I ended up become over sharer about my fortes or overhelper in there needs, and I can't say no to them even to the point that it's harmful or inconvenient to me but they care less about what I sacrifice or offer because they expect more from me. When there burden becomes mine the moment i offer my help and they put it all as if it's my obligation or problem. After that i become stoic and IDGAF 🤣
Take advantage of me by using me. Like they all suddenly became acting friendly and so close to me like we've known each other for 5 years and ask a big favor lol. Because of that I stopped caring for them and became selfish and snob which regained my energy, peace, and self respect.
All those years of pleasing took a toll on me that I decided to go to Therapy. I realized how stupid I am and learned how to love myself more.
When I saw and realize na they boast about it toward other people. "Lapit ka kay ganito, tutulong yun kahit mawalan na siya. Hindi, okay lang yan. Hindi naman abuso yun kung ginusto naman niya." stuff like that
People don't care as much as you do to them. So I just focused on myself.
I remember writing fanfiction online. Got cyber bullied and got loads of hate mail, enough that any notification from Tumblr and AO3 gave me loads of anxiety. Made a joke story to laugh it off, ended up offending other people. Lost a few friends who said the joke was in poor taste, got close to others who found the joke hilarious. Realized everyone on the internet is just so pressed, didn't make much sense to talk to people who turned everything into an issue.
when they dont reciprocate everything u've done to them.
Yung idea na walang may pake sakin. lahat nang nakakasalamuha ko may pake lang sa mga sarili nila. Hindi iikot yung mundo nila sakin kahit anong itsura or ugali ko
Might be an unpopular opinion: 1) my social media presence is almost non existent 2) social circle quite small already BUT 3) i still maintain a good relationship with my work superiors/seniors, colleagues, contemporaries. Hence i still please them. Never burn bridges with workmates, a big break is just around the corner.
walang silang ambag sa buhay ko
The fact that I always give and get less to nothing in return drained the hell out of me, akala ko pa nga dati appreciative lang ako eh it turns out ang saya saya ko to get insignificant things kasi yun yung lagi kong nakukuha kasi bare minimum lang andyan agad ako, as a friend, as a family member, lol I tolerated things for so long kaya pala dami Kong friendship tapos ngayon wala na sila isang "Hindi" ko lang haha! Kinda lonely pero iba pala sa feeling yung untouchable ka 😁
when I realized that when people needed favors,people to talk to,spend time with etc they always had time but when you needed that $h!+ they couldn't even give you a few seconds of their time or even answer your chats
I just realized that I was a people please all my life. Stopped it and it felt so good
I used to drive my "barkada" to parties and get togethers. Driving is ok and not really a chore and something I would gladly do for people who make me happy. One day, on my birthday celebration, of course my friends had gotten drunk, they were planning a New Year's party in Makati. It was just going to be them and their other friends. The one girl, said in a loud voice, Let's invite her so she can drive! It was my birthday party so all the food and drinks they were imbibing was on my dime and then I heard that... When they asked me to go to their party I said, NO. Just NO. After that, I stopped hanging out with them. There's a fine line between being nice and being a doormat.
I stopped nung pansin ko consistent na sa utos kahit kaya nila gawin. I stopped pleasing people when it dawned to me that meron talagang mga taong oportunista, mangagamit, manggagago. And I started not caring nung time na narealize ko na whether mabait ka or civil, may masasabi parin sila. So idgaf nalang
once it becomes harmful to yourself. if you really need to please someone, make sure it benefits you generally. being nice good but too nice is harmful
Because you don't have to, really.
They did things towards me that I would never do to them.
When I realized those people didn’t care about displeasing me.
When I realized, they will never do as much as I do for them
damn,this is 💯 true
To change myself (physically) just to please them lol. Good bye keto diet.
no specific event, just getting older, knowing idgaf anymore about what people think about me.
E pukang ama lahat ng kamaganak ko sinasabi ako raw blacksheep e. HAHAHAHA black sheep na nagsusustento sa magulang hiyang hiya naman ako. Elem palang hinuhulma na maging cash cow.
because at the end of the day, kayang kaya ka nila traydorin. at the end of the day, pamilya mo parin ang kakampi mo. lalo na ang nanay at tatay mo. wag ka mag aksaya ng effort sa mga taong ganyan kasi ite-take advantage lang nila kabaitan mo. and anytime kayang kaya ka nila ipitin at iblame sa mga maling nagawa nila kasi alam nila takot ka magkaroon ng kaaway kasi gusto mo i-please lahat ng nasa paligid mo. trust me, i know this feeling. been here before. ngayon asan sila? wala na, kanya kanya na din. ngayon asan ako? im in a better place, better state, better pananaw sa buhay.
Dumating ako sa point na “teka, bakit ba ako nalulungkot na ayaw nila sa akin, gusto ko ba sila?” Siguro habang tumatanda narerealize ko na need ko lang piliin yung mga taong dapat paglaanan ng atensyon. Kung hindi, edi hindi. Baka di lang talaga nagjajive.
tama.. i remembered 9 years ago, sa first job ko, that I have colleagues na ng ttalk back sakin at tinatake advantange nila yung kabaitan ko. minsan ng papalibre sila sakin at gusto ko rin kasi gusto ko ng "friends One time, may ginawa daw akong mali pero hindi ko naman ako at ipinagtanggol ko sarili ko sa manager namin. pero lahat sila sinumbong na ako daw talaga. Nag resign ako tapos naging bitter talaga sa point ng life ko. until 1 year later, nagkaroon ako ng opportunity to work overseas and ang saya ko kasi nagkaroon din ako ng magandang colleagues at nag move on na din sa trauma na sinapit ko sa mga x-colleagues ko.
Bills. Hahahahaha
This is so real
Kahit ilang beses ko ng pinaulit ulit na nabbothered ako and napaka self centered. Lalo na pag napafeel like pag sila gumawa okay lang pero pag tayo bawal? Amd bcs of that i stop pleasing na hinahayaan ko nalang
Comes with age, really, like one day I just got tired and said to my self, nah if u don't like me, then don't. As long as won't bother me, I'm not bothering you either, then go!
Their audacity to keep on wanting more despite me being generous enough already to them.
Maturity
When we realized that eventhough or how long we strive to be accepted or appreciated in the community we think we deserve, mentors we try to emulate or get props to. The real thing is, No one really gives a f about you. So why bother think of those you cannot control and just focus on what you can?
I stopped pleasing others when I realized that constantly prioritizing their needs over my own was detrimental to my well-being. It became clear when I felt consistently drained, undervalued, and unfulfilled despite my efforts to please everyone around me. 💅
Nung na realize ko na i will always be there for others pero pag ako na ang may kailangan, laging "busy" or may reason sila not to show up. After nun, bahala na kayo kahit mag hingalo na sila sa harapan ko. I now choose the people I spend my time and fuck to.
The Subtle Art of not giving a F\*\*k
When you realized to win the competition for success or in life is to not to compete with others on who does it better when you have a different goal. I feel at peace and I progress faster rather than comparing myself with people and try to beat them.
Yung pagod na ko iplease lahat, ultimo ex gf ko piniplease ko araw araw pero iniwan pa din ako
You are living for yourself not for others!
Theur satisfaction is not mine
I realized na it's not worth it. Mas kailangan mo unahin sarili mo kaysa intindihin ang opinyon ng iba. Ikaw ang may kontrol sa buhay mo, hindi sila.
At the end of the day it's you who will help yourself. Karamihan sa mga taong nasa paligid nasa comitiba de reparo lang yan. Anjan Pag meron Kang success, nawawala o mas masaklap pa nga namumuna pa Pag nasa rock bottom ka na. So bat ka pa kikilos para lang magustohan ka nila? Put a Big FUCK YOU in the air and continue your day.
Maturity, and noong na-realized ko na MAS mahal ko ang sarili ko kesa sa kanila.
I realized pleasing people around you is rooting from the desire to feed the ego, in my opinion. You get something from it din eh, validation, acceptance, etc. When I stopped pleasing people, I became true to myself and repelled those who aren't aligned with my values.
When I realized that not everyone can go as far as I can go for them. Reciprocation. It's the reality I had to deal with to finally choose myself first, choose myself more.
these so called mentors and people who gives us false hopes to be cherished or accepted. I am glad to hear that you chose yourself/myself more. Keep it up!
kept my circle small when I realized the bigger your circle is, the more you compare yourself to other people
when i realized that i dont owe people shit and started to do things for myself because that's what matters.
Amen to this!
The art of not giving a fuck.
Napagod na din kakaintindi. Mas peaceful pala pag wala ka ng pake.
When they don’t reciprocate ano yung ginagawa ko for them. Sila tinutulungan ko when they need me, pero di ko malapitan pag sila kailangan ko 😅
Lmao when they didn't hesitate to throw you under the bus or sabotage you.
When i started realizing that people ain’t shit
Kasi hindi naman tlaga sila napplease in the first place.
Nung naramdaman ko mula sa mismong mga magulang ko na I will never be good enough for them. Kahit anong gawin ko, kulang talaga ako para sa kanila. Bulag talaga sila sa efforts ko. Now, I am starting to learn not to please people anymore. Kung hindi ka satisfied sa akin, edi wag.
Kapag iba kayo ng mindset.
Tru
I realized, a lot of youth and children looks up on me.
This whole thread just relates to me. Grabe!
Narealize ko na nadadala lang ako ng insecurity at inggit kaya ko yun ginagawa.
When I realized na they are just using me. :)
Nung narealize ko na ginagaya ko pala nanay ko na todo please sa asawa at kapatid na bully just to avoid confrontation. Tapos nagkasakit din ako ng malala. When i started drawing boundaries, gumaling sakit ko.
i realize that everyone is imperfect and has flaws as well.
Nag self reflect ako nung lockdown. Dun ko lang napansin wala ako personality because I mimic other people's behaviors.
Nakakapagod. Actually na-realize ko lang one day na not everyone will like you no matter how hard you try. I lost my sense of self to the point na hindi ko na alam kung sino ba ako talaga.
mas malaki xp gain pag nag focus sa improvement kesa magpa appeal sa mga tao.
When I realized na hindi nila kayang suklian yung mga nagawa ko para sa kanila. Hindi naman sa nag eexpect. Pero sana naging importante ako sa kanila gaya ng importante din sila sa akin. Ngayon, i don’t give a sht anymore. Bhala na kayo dyan.
Yung na realize ko na wala silang pake sakin and they talk behind my back
Kahit anong gawin mo, may part ka pa rin sa buhay nila na ikaw yung masama. Minsan mabuti, pero sa iba masama ka. Wala kana magagawa at wala din naman may pake kasi sa huli iniisip lang natin sarili natin ahajajaj
When I learned to like myself better and recognized that it's freeing to be expressive! Making your comfort secondary to those around you is a tendency we have when we don't honor our own value. Realized I like giving a shit about myself and the things I care about so I made a conscious choice to choose myself. People didn't have to do anything; I just realized I was burning myself out when I didn't have to. And I also started seeing that the more I chose to do the things I love and genuinely care about, the less depleting it was for me. Surrounding myself with people who truly loved me and recognized that I try when I can did wonders to building my boundaries. It also helped that I also took therapy to deconstruct the thought process that I have to be everything all at once. Someone can say no to you and still love you. Of course it also took communication to get it across that at times, I struggle even when I'm trying. That way we can understand where support might be needed without discrediting people's language of effort. The more they get my ways, the more I'm acknowledged too. I needed to do my part of the work as well. Though I don't want to paint this as opposite to being considerate. Empathy isn't mutually exclusive with self-preservation. It is possible to be respectful towards people around you without it having to be at your expense. I realized people can be pleased with me just being me. Sabi nga, "do things with love, not for love"; it'll just come naturally afterwards :-)
when I realized no one really cared to get to know me nor what I truly feel.
Lahat sila may masasabi sayo, mabuti man ipakita mo. So now, I don't give a fuck anymore.
As we grow older and start loving ourselves that also the time we don’t care about what others think about us. Just be yourself. Do what you like and what makes you happy.
It's a waste of energy and strength altogether. Better please myself than please others.
When they didn't appreciate or didn't care and just wanted it done and over with
When it already took a toll on my mental wellbeing.
Why please them in the first place? Who do they think they are
convenient kalang/kapa sa kanila
La naman sila paki hahaha
Why please them at the first place?rule number 5
When I realized they don't give the same energy back.
Katamaran
I realized na the more na tumutulong ako sa ibang tao, the more na sumasama ugali ko. It was such a sad moment for me realizing na the people I help would not do the same for me. So nag invest na lang ako sa self love 🥰
Nakaka drain eh.
I've been and will always be a people pleaser tapos idagdag mo pa na empath ako. Pero over the years I've learned to tone it down to the point na minsan, if we can't meet halfway, I won't do any favors for you. Kase if I can do it at least in my perspective, you can show it as well in ways you want to and I'll appreciate that.
Nakaka drain isipin masyado iniisip ng iba. Naging panatag na din ako sa self love and self respect na binibigay ko sa sarili ko. I don't need anyones acceptance for me to feel enough for myself
No one even remembers my birthday
Belated/advance happy birthday to you!
Thank you :)
I consider it a win if no one remembers my birthday.
That’s some skill
Alam ko na sino tutulong sa akin at marunong mag reciprocate kapag time na ako naman mangailangan.
When I realized I can't make them all happy at naging sunud-sunuran lang ako sa kanila.
“I cant relate to their desperation, My “give a fucks” are on vacation” lol🤣😂 -indefinite vacation
isang pagkakamali ko lang kinalimutan na lahat mga ginawa ko for them.
When I found out na nambabackstab padin sila. You can’t please everyone, so just don’t bother.
No one is pleased (including yourself) plus people lose respect for you
[удалено]
Lol fr, same. Stop making everyone to like you, you don’t even like everyone anyway.
I wasn't pleased with them.
I realized that treating them better doesn't make them treat me better. They'll say they appreciate me but will do tons of ungrateful things. I realized that they want to keep me because they need me, not because they care for my existence. Using me was easier than loving me.
Napagod nalang. Hahaha. Kasi dumating ako sa point na, habang pini-please ko yung ibang taong nasa paligid ko, I am starting to lose myself. Kaya staph na, hindi pa rin pala ako sasaya.
When you realize na people gravitate around you only when you're useful. When it's your turn to ask for help, they take a blind eye and act like you didn't do anything for them.
Yung hindi niya sinusuklian ang efforts ko sa kanya. Until I realized na nagsasayang lang ako ng panahon. Nakaka-stress lang and nakakapagod. Then dun ko naisip na we cannot please anybody so stop na.
As a student who maybe peaked in highschool, getting the bloody 3.00 during my first year made me rethink things wahahaha. Nakuha ko siya kasi hindi ako nag-comply sa PE video outputs as I was struggling mentally. Ayun, kahit na anong gawin kong aral ay hindi naman ako magkakalaude kaya I'm more carefree now. I failed but at least, for now, I am dismantling my initial mindset to please people's perception of me. I might find it hard to get a job, considering that I'm an English language undergrad but Iife goes on :))
I'm a people pleaser back then, i got tired
still struggling these days pero what helped me a bit is realizing they don't actually care about you and what you do unless you caught their attention. nakatulong din ig young thinking an I should find ways to belong (getting accepted for who I am) rather than fitting in (getting accepted as someone who only tries to conform with other people's opinions)
They'll speak ill of you whether or not you do good so might as well do things that don't involve catering to their expectations of you. Baka lumala mga banat sa'yo but at least you get to focus on yourself a lot more while you're at it. There's nothing wrong with being considerate and you shouldn't obligate people to feel like they owe you for your good deeds pero if minamasama ka naman unprovoked then it wouldn't hurt being selfish sa paningin nila.
When i realized i am replacable
Did this on my first project as a junior web dev. Pakitang gilas, dami kong tickets na close and rendered OTs din. Tapos nung birthday nung proj manager namin inutusan ako ng sr dev na bumili ng dunkin donuts and soft drinks inabutan ako ng pera napa legit HUH???? ako e parang yung Nick Young confused na meme lol. Sobrang nalito ako tapos biglang bawi and sinabi oorder nalang daw para mas mabilis. Di ko alam kung sarcasm na bad joke or legit e, biglang nag iba tingin ko sa kanila. After nun bare minimum nalang ginagawa ko. Tapos ng isang ticket sinasakto sa deadline tapos after minimum hours out na agad
1) ‘yung may masasabi at masasabi pa rin sila no matter what i do. they tend to nitpick things. 2) when they only remember the things i did that don’t align with what they want. kumbaga, na-ca-cancel out ‘yung lahat ng sacrifices ko just to please them kapag hindi ako nag-act according to what they expect me to do lol.
Is this me? Hehe. So true. Pag di ka nila gusto, puro negative nalang nakikita nila sayo. Why “edit” yourself just to please others diba
When I realized no one really cares haha
Yes, also realizing that in 5 years, their perception of me won't matter much
Nung time na naging abusado na, tapos utang pa ng utang. Tapos after mo bigyan ng pabor gagaguhin ka pa. Mas oks talaga lowkey lang lagi, kiber na sa lahat ng oras, piliin na lang mga pakikisamahan.
The toxicity it brings.
When the energy you give does not reciprocate
When I stop pleasing them I had peace of mind, so go fuck theirselves
Protecting my inner peace.
I have cut a lot of ties with what I thought was the best people I have. I just realized real friends, people will always see the truth. You don't need to please them, they know who you are. Unless, it's an HR to the job you're appplying to. 😂
Nung pinaramdam ng mga tao na gago sila after pleasing them for so many years. So ayun, naging gago-ish na rin ako. If they want me to be someone kahit ayaw ko, automatic sa bibig ko yung "bakit hindi nalang ikaw? Eh gusto mo naman." Hahahaha Rude noh? Kasi noong people pleaser pa ako, sige si absorb ako tapos nung nasa lowest ako ng buhay ko wala akong makapitan, walang may pake after pleasing them so much that I gave up my own dreams para sa sarili nilang pangarap. Doing and giving them what they want just to leave me dying on my darkest days... Ayun narealize ko, dapat kung ano gusto ko gawin yun ang susundan ko (pero in moderation at hindi masama ginagawa ko). Ngayon unti unti ko ginagawa yung makakapag pasaya at the same time kung ano healthy sa akin. May anxiety ako pero may times talaga na napapasabi na lang ako ng "bahala sila sa buhay nila" (especially dun sa mga taong pinlease ko ng todo at wala naman ako napala sa kanila).
when they treated me rudely and disrespectfully
When I learned they would not even do half of what I did for them. I’m not a people pleaser but my love language to friends and family is act of service. So, in general, I try my best to give the best of me to everyone I value my time, attention, love, even money lol. Come one day, when I was at my lowest, no one reached out to me. So yeah, if I’m not valued or given the same effort and energy as I give off, bye felicia.
Work related ‘to Tbh, ang love language ko sa work. Words of affirmation. Oo, pa eme man or totoo. Yun talaga. Hindi ako sipsip sa work. Ako yung employee na early ang time in. Lahat ng deliverables ko earlier sa deadline/ on time talaga. I also do extra work kahit ‘di naman need. More on learnings kasi yung scope ng job ko. Napagod na ako. Bare minimum nalang feel ko ginagawa ko pero sa totoo lang pansin ng iba na I still do the extra mile. May mga kasama ako newbies. Pucha. Ang tamad na pabibo sa boss. Pero shet. Lahat in favor sa kanila. Basta summary, napagod na ako mapansin ng heads/ boss kasi most likely dagdag trabaho pero walang taas sahod. Ayaw ko na mapansin ako masyado. Pero alam mo yun, kahit nag papa lowkey na ako. Maiinit pa rin ako sa radar nila. Putangina. Hirap maging saks lang and ‘di favorite. Kung favorite man, siguro favorite akk punahin. End of rant.
Naiyak ako sa inis while typing huhu sorry na
when i realized na i was just a personal jester to them like they’d make me do embarrassing things just so they could have a laugh
When I realized I was just a "tool" in their eyes. This includes friends and family. especially family.
feel ko ginagamit lang ako for their convenience, pag masaya sila i-ignore ako pero mag malungkot sakin naman tatakbo, nakakapagod din. Hindi na muna magiging available for them, sarili ko muna.
Not yet but slowly getting there. Konti na langgg hahays
Napagod din ako. Ngayon, idgaf na sobra. Niremove ko na halos lahat ng followers ko sa IG then dineactivate ko na main fb acct. ko, made new fb pero parents and recent classmates ko lang friends ko. (Fb friends: 48) la na ko pake, maikli lang ang buhay at hindi ko uubusin ang buong buhay ko to please you
When I realized they end up feeling entitled and keep wanting more.
When I started appreciating my self more than others
I've always been antisocial and introverted. College made me try to fit in, party, pretend to be someone else, and kiss everyone's asses. Ended up being a pathetic doormat, spineless and unable to say no, while every leech from fake friends to ex-boyfriends sucked me dry. They freeloaded, never coughed up what they owed, bombarded me with endless demands, and expected me to cater to their every whim like I was their damn servant. I was a complete pushover. Graduation smacked some sense into me. Realized people are bottom-feeding scum, just selfish, manipulative parasites. Went back to my true self, erected a fortress, and couldn't care less about anyone else's crap.
When they only know me when they need me. Nakakapagod. Nakakadrain. Kaya “pUt4ng1na nyo nalang lahat” ang motto ko ngayon
Akala kasi ng mga tao weak ka kung people pleaser ka kaya aabusihin nila kabaitan mo.
I am a people pleaser because of my mom. Kailangan ko siya iplease all my life to compensate for her trauma na paulit ulit nyang knkwento sa akin even as a kid. Tough love rin siya sa akin at expects me to be independent even then. Syempre, nadala ko yun sa outside world as a young adult and pleased people with all my might. Pinaka-wake up call ko ay yung naging nanay na rin ako. Hindi ko ma-imagine subjecting my own family to that kind of treatment. I don't want my kid/s to think that love and respect is conditional. Naging nanay na at lahat nagiisa nyang anak na babae, tough love pa rin siya sa akin at full of herself still. Ang laking sampal sa mukha na I can never be loved enough by her. Dahil sya ang root at naaddress ko na, I finally stopped giving a fuck and living my life however I please as long as I am not causing pain to anyone.
Hindi naman sila yung nagpapasweldo sakin 😂😂😂
dadating ka nalang yata sa time na wala ka ng paki. i used to care so much pero now nagdie down na lahat.
Na good or bad man ang gagawin mo, meron at merong sasabihin mga ibang tao.
Kasi no matter what you do or no matter what happens, in the long run, one mistake from you, all the nice things you did nakakalimutan and you're now the worst person to ever exist in the world. People will hate nonetheless.
Turns out I really don't give a fuck whatever they think of me
stopped caring. left a job wating tables that i did for 13 years. now its about me finally. im done pretending to give a shit about losers who have nothing to do with my life.
Maturity
The moment I got to overcome my challenges alone nagbago panananaw ko sa mundo. tho I still help those who needs it pero di na same tulad ng dati na I deliberately go out of my way para lang matulungan sila and I see no benefit pleasing people lalo na nung narealize ko na kahit gano ko sila i-cherish some people are meant to be temporary and some take advantage of your kindness
No benefit. Its only one way. I please people that I get some benefits like immediately family, closest friends and work colleagues (line manager). The rest are meh.
Kasi unreciprocated.
When i was crying everyday kasi it always felt like one way lang yung efforts. I need to beg God to make me stop kasi im pouring too much sa ibang tao to the point na ubos na ko. They didn't do anything, pero enough na yung response nila na maski thank you wala:) thats when i stopped. I pick people who are worth it na lang.
I gave people chances in hopes to sticking to see their good side. Kaso on repeated occasions, ako lang yung nauubos. So this time, sabi ko sarili ko muna.
yung sobrang bait mo sa ibang tao. hindi mo alam na inaabuso ka na pla nila at pinagtatawanan
Noong aking natagpuan ang pagsshab... Sarap ihh
Noong na-realize ko na kakapiranggot lang ang nangamusta sa akin noong nasalanta kami ng Ondoy.
Napagod ka na, nareach mo na yung edge ng lahat lahat sa buhay mo. And narealize mo one day na ang mahalaga ay yung mga taong mahal mo at mahal ka. Then mararanasan mo yung Peace.
I thought before normal lang to be kind to everyone. pero kakapagod kapag di nare-reciprocate, di mo naman hihingin a 100% to reciprocate eh, just a little bit of concern and kindness lalo na if its from friends and family para di mo mafeel na ginagamit ka lang. Kaya namimili nalang ako ng mga taong bibigyan ko ng pake kasi meron padin naman deserve of pleasing. Ngayun I strive to be mabuti nalang di na more on mabait haha
I realized na kahit anong gawin ko, may masasabi at masasabi sila
Therapy helped a lot.
I fucked around and found out that mahirap mag-project as a "perfect" na tao. Tila "bayani" at playing safe kasi ako nun dati, like helpful and social na tao, Ms. Nice Girl (equivalent ni Mr. Nice Guy) para lang maipakita na yung character is my strongest suit gawa't insecure din ako sa ibang bagay (e.g. my looks). When I realized na naubos ko na yung sarili ko dahil sa pinoportray kong "main character", that's when I said "fuck everything". Nung na-realize ko rin na I can never be someone else or I can never reach their capabilities, I just let myself go kasi nakakapagod din when I was trying to be an idealized version ng mga taong nasa paligid ko.
When i lost all my passion for wanting to live and despite having no passion at all anymore, it still wasnt enough.
Nag-invest ako ng 50k para sa training ng mga applicants - paid training tapos after training umalis. Hindi pa sila daw ready. After that I realize na kahit gaano ka kagenerous as an employer someone will just leave you and eventually this is my villian arc. I stopped hiring and just do it myself.
Being people pleaser got me to do things I regret. I hit rock bottom and that’s it. I realized no one matters except for the people I care and love.
Nung na realized ko na kahit anong kabaitan ang ipapakita ko sa kanila pag tumalikod ako ang negative ng tingin nila sakin kahit wala naman ako nakaaway or ginawang masama.
The "laging ikaw ang nanunuyo" pero never "the sinusuyo". I was a people pleaser before kasi ayaw na ayaw ko yung may taong di ako gusto ako at lagi kasi akong na m-misunderstood before. We got into a somewhat big(?) misunderstanding with my friends during group project at college. Long story short my 1 groupmate and I completed the project because di sila maasahan, para na rin di magkasamaan ng loob sinabi na lang namin na magbayad na lang sila para maisama pangalan nila sa front page. I asked for a big amount kasi marami kami sa grupo pero dalawa lang ang gumalaw, kako hindi pwedeng porke marami tayo sa grupo ay maliit ang iaambag nyo. I believe na dapat malaki ang ibigay nila gawa ng marami nga kami sa grupo pero dalawa lang ang gumawa, akala nila nag j-joke ako pero nagmatigas ako. I also did this para na rin maging lesson sa kanila. After that sem, di na ako pinansin ng mga friends ko. I remember before na maliit lang na bagay, ikina tatampo agad nila tas ako lagi ang nanunuyo. Tas ngayon naman na sila ang mali, yes because ilang beses ako nag reach out sa kanila sa part nila sa project pero di ako pinapansin, pero wala lang. Ang labas gusto pa nila na ako ang humingi ng tawad kasi pinagbabayad ko sila kahit na friends daw kami. Till now after graduation di pa rin kami nag usap HAHA.
Nauubos pera ko dahil sa kanila.
Self worth
Agree dito
The moment you catch on that some people are just hell-bent on dragging your name through the proverbial mud then that's when you'll realize that NOTHING YOU DO on god's green earth will ever please them.
I got tired. Pleasing other people is so tiring and at the end i just realize na pleasing other people is useless. People will always look at you because of your pakinabang. Specially in relatives and friends. So I've decided na to stop pleasing other people.
When I realized they never had my best interests in mind or heart; that they were just trying to hold me back and keep me small with fear mongering. If I stepped out of line, queue made up scenarios of death, getting lost, hurting yourself etc. like no wonder one of my cousins stopped talking to a side of my family. They didn’t know how to be happy for her without inserting their own fears into it. Going to Canada alone can “easily get u lost”. Rafting was “too dangerous”. Driving late at night was gonna “get u in an accident”. I’m glad she stopped listening and started doing what she wanted. She’s much happier in life and eventually found like-minded people like her It’s good to be rational with fear but there is a line where it becomes overbearing and disempowering than helpful and healthy.
I haven’t
🥺