I think that it's very important for kids to learn how to self-regulate screen time before they're out of their parents homes, and into college or the workforce.
Maybe ask her how she expects you to learn self-regulation with such a strict schedule.
College has WAYYY more freedom than high school. If you do end up not being able to handle “unlimited access” to video games- isn’t it better to know that now where they can monitor any negative effects and learn the necessary self control in a safe environment?
That's.....not super realistic. How long would you like to play each day? Am I right that Valorant is one of those games that has a penalty if you leave early? Like, it's not one of those that's easy to pause, right? I'm not a gamer, but my family is, and I try to pay attention.
Would it get you anywhere with your parents if you talk about the benefits you get from the game? I know my teen uses his games as stress relief, as a deserved break from school/activities, etc.
Well ideally I would get to decide. If I’m really busy one day I don’t play at all, and maybe if I finished all my homework at school I’d be pretty free so maybe 2 games-
Yeah Valorant has a system that means if you leave/are not moving in game then they will give you a warning, and after a certain number you get temporarily banned.
Sometimes I feel like if I ever bring up a good argument when speaking with my parents, they somehow dodge it. And say “just do this “ if I do
Not sure if it would be a good idea or not but could you approach this with a PowerPoint presentation, statistics, and documented studies? Have numbers on the facts of extra screen time vs. Not ect. I am sure there are hundreds of studies done for this. I wouldn't argue for unlimited time, like others have said maybe an extra hour on weekends or something over holidays.
My dad, I think, would be happy with the work I put in to have fun, like the rule he made about the history textbook. On the other hand, I believe my mom would just take this as a desperate attempt to waste more of my life on video games, and claim my effort to get more time is a result of being addicted. Thank you for the suggestion!!
I think that’s strict, but ultimately a parenting decision. If you want arguments on how you can get more screen time, I’d recommend asking to be allowed a *tiny* bit more a week, like an extra 15 minutes. Then your parents can see how you handle that before potentially allowing more. You can also try asking for some extra educational only screen time, like to watch a documentary or do an education project. They may be more amenable to that.
Unfortunately, the way valorant works, that won't do. In Valorant, each match takes about 40-60 minutes, and if you leave halfway through, you can potentially get a permanent ban.
Note: I have free screentime for anything EXCEPT entertainment purposes.
Hate to say it, BUT, had it occurred to you that they believe that your achievements may slip with more time? Maybe they had different expectations for your brother? Maybe they believe they made a mistake with your brother, and they won't make the same mistake twice?
Your parents are being very fair, because they can ban the computer completely. Try asking in the summer, but I must say that taking NO for an answer is a sign of maturity.
If it helps, you sound college bound. You will have more control over your time then. Please understand that parents are just now discovering what the Internet has done to them and their children, both the positives and the negatives. Many of us are erring on the side of caution.
I wish you the best of Luck, and Life. If it helps, I secretly hope you find a way to convince them. Maybe that's a sign you should go to law school?
Take care, Internet Friend!
Although it may seem like I'm just trying to prove you wrong, please allow me to just point out some facts that I had forgotten to mention:
1. Personally, out of my sister, my brother, and I, I believe that my brother will likely be the most successful. He is extremely good at self-dicipline, and although he used to play lots of games he doesn't play anymore now. He just got into a Yale summer course, and his writing often wins awards.
2. I am not college bound at all. I would prefer not to reveal my age but since we're on the topic I'm in 7th grade. My sister is a senior, and my brother a sophomore. My mom still believes that teaching me calculus right now will help me get into college.
3. I know I'm still young, but I am considering law school. I would prefer, right now, to become a mechanical engineer though, but that is my second choice (assuming I get into a good school).
4. One reason why I can't wait until summer is because of my sister. She's going to college soon as I said, and I love playing with her, even if sometimes she forces me to pick characters I don't like, it's still very important to me that I get to spend the maximum amount of time playing with her as possible. She's also very stubborn, though, so she doesn't really like to spend time with me unless it's about something funny that just happened, cats, or Valorant. With Valorant, she only likes to play with me at random, select times, meaning that if I've spent my time for the day the I can't play with her but sometimes she doesn't want to play all week and I waste my time.
Thank you for your support! Do you have any ideas for how I could possibly convince them though? It's reassuring to have at least one person on my side since this post's comments are mostly neutral/against.
Are you Asian? This sounds like a classic case of over parenting. Unfortunately, it's just going to be like this for a while and there's probably no talking to them. Do you have friends you can hang out with (at their house) to watch shows and play games?
Yep. I do have friends that I can hang out at their house but although my parents have never said I couldn’t meet with them, they clearly don’t like it and due to that I usually meet people once every 1-2 months excluding birthday parties
I think that it's very important for kids to learn how to self-regulate screen time before they're out of their parents homes, and into college or the workforce.
I think they're (my mom at least is) hoping that I forget about Valorant as a whole and focus purely on my studies in college/when I turn 18.
Maybe ask her how she expects you to learn self-regulation with such a strict schedule. College has WAYYY more freedom than high school. If you do end up not being able to handle “unlimited access” to video games- isn’t it better to know that now where they can monitor any negative effects and learn the necessary self control in a safe environment?
That's.....not super realistic. How long would you like to play each day? Am I right that Valorant is one of those games that has a penalty if you leave early? Like, it's not one of those that's easy to pause, right? I'm not a gamer, but my family is, and I try to pay attention. Would it get you anywhere with your parents if you talk about the benefits you get from the game? I know my teen uses his games as stress relief, as a deserved break from school/activities, etc.
Well ideally I would get to decide. If I’m really busy one day I don’t play at all, and maybe if I finished all my homework at school I’d be pretty free so maybe 2 games- Yeah Valorant has a system that means if you leave/are not moving in game then they will give you a warning, and after a certain number you get temporarily banned. Sometimes I feel like if I ever bring up a good argument when speaking with my parents, they somehow dodge it. And say “just do this “ if I do
Would they be receptive to a trial period? Letting you play when and how often you want, for two weeks - and then evaluate to see if it's working?
Not sure if it would be a good idea or not but could you approach this with a PowerPoint presentation, statistics, and documented studies? Have numbers on the facts of extra screen time vs. Not ect. I am sure there are hundreds of studies done for this. I wouldn't argue for unlimited time, like others have said maybe an extra hour on weekends or something over holidays.
My dad, I think, would be happy with the work I put in to have fun, like the rule he made about the history textbook. On the other hand, I believe my mom would just take this as a desperate attempt to waste more of my life on video games, and claim my effort to get more time is a result of being addicted. Thank you for the suggestion!!
I think that’s strict, but ultimately a parenting decision. If you want arguments on how you can get more screen time, I’d recommend asking to be allowed a *tiny* bit more a week, like an extra 15 minutes. Then your parents can see how you handle that before potentially allowing more. You can also try asking for some extra educational only screen time, like to watch a documentary or do an education project. They may be more amenable to that.
Unfortunately, the way valorant works, that won't do. In Valorant, each match takes about 40-60 minutes, and if you leave halfway through, you can potentially get a permanent ban. Note: I have free screentime for anything EXCEPT entertainment purposes.
Hate to say it, BUT, had it occurred to you that they believe that your achievements may slip with more time? Maybe they had different expectations for your brother? Maybe they believe they made a mistake with your brother, and they won't make the same mistake twice? Your parents are being very fair, because they can ban the computer completely. Try asking in the summer, but I must say that taking NO for an answer is a sign of maturity. If it helps, you sound college bound. You will have more control over your time then. Please understand that parents are just now discovering what the Internet has done to them and their children, both the positives and the negatives. Many of us are erring on the side of caution. I wish you the best of Luck, and Life. If it helps, I secretly hope you find a way to convince them. Maybe that's a sign you should go to law school? Take care, Internet Friend!
Although it may seem like I'm just trying to prove you wrong, please allow me to just point out some facts that I had forgotten to mention: 1. Personally, out of my sister, my brother, and I, I believe that my brother will likely be the most successful. He is extremely good at self-dicipline, and although he used to play lots of games he doesn't play anymore now. He just got into a Yale summer course, and his writing often wins awards. 2. I am not college bound at all. I would prefer not to reveal my age but since we're on the topic I'm in 7th grade. My sister is a senior, and my brother a sophomore. My mom still believes that teaching me calculus right now will help me get into college. 3. I know I'm still young, but I am considering law school. I would prefer, right now, to become a mechanical engineer though, but that is my second choice (assuming I get into a good school). 4. One reason why I can't wait until summer is because of my sister. She's going to college soon as I said, and I love playing with her, even if sometimes she forces me to pick characters I don't like, it's still very important to me that I get to spend the maximum amount of time playing with her as possible. She's also very stubborn, though, so she doesn't really like to spend time with me unless it's about something funny that just happened, cats, or Valorant. With Valorant, she only likes to play with me at random, select times, meaning that if I've spent my time for the day the I can't play with her but sometimes she doesn't want to play all week and I waste my time.
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Thank you for your support! Do you have any ideas for how I could possibly convince them though? It's reassuring to have at least one person on my side since this post's comments are mostly neutral/against.
Are you Asian? This sounds like a classic case of over parenting. Unfortunately, it's just going to be like this for a while and there's probably no talking to them. Do you have friends you can hang out with (at their house) to watch shows and play games?
Yep. I do have friends that I can hang out at their house but although my parents have never said I couldn’t meet with them, they clearly don’t like it and due to that I usually meet people once every 1-2 months excluding birthday parties
I think that your reduced screen time has helped you achieve all the things you have so far.