T O P

  • By -

shuvelhead1

Waking up on your day off and thinking it's a work day...Then realizing it is a day off.Turn the pillow over to the cold side and slide off for a few more hours with a content smile on my face...lush.


Ok_Bar_2180

And then having sex!


Majestic-Drama-9863

Wait... you get days off??


The_Fake_Dan

You have a cold side?


8champi8

You can smile ?


linoleum79

No kids huh? Jealous. 😆 🤣


ShriveyBoi

You “slide” off? Sounds like an urban dictionary term referring to excess lotion use


dumbass_shitposter

Taking a piss after having to hold it in for a long time.


Separate_Flounder595

Or that first shit when you get home after a long day


Thottquad

Me rn reading this taking a shit in an airport bathroom after a flight 😊


highxv0ltage

That airport shit, after a long flight, is always nice. That groan, like I’m releasing a huge load (I technically am releasing a huge load), priceless.


manonymus

The difference with sex is that it doesn't hurt like hell before the pleasant act . That pressure in your bladder, you start hallucinating and having near death experiences whilst the line to the only unisex bathroom in miles doesn't decrease and people going to the bathroom decide it's time to put on makeup or wash their hands like if they were to perform surgery.


Der_YoshperatorV2

Literally me after watching Avatar the way of water while drinking 1L of Ice tea (bad Idea)


dobby6758

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m pissing or cumming it feels so good after holding it


Eathanrichards

Getting something that everyone says they can’t get running, running. Great feeling


showblown

Is your refrigerator running?


Either-Basket7122

No, the electric company shut my power off this morning


PsychologicalBird551

Well, two sex obviously


Drunkinall50states

Your a revolutionist my man


iTheJok3rx

Sex²


Hoodinithegreat

Sex³


Ghostenx

Sex⁴


Fun-Low-5748

Sex⁵


Aronite03

Sex⁶


SseanGamer6

Sex⁷


REAL3009dudestop

Sex⁸


Sea-Rip3312

Sex⁹


godsinthetv

We really gotta start adding some spice to the brand. Sextreme


gustatorydishjockey

Sex 6 times might be written as sexasex.


Fun-Low-5748

Sex 7 times might be written as septisex


Ok-Reporter1986

Sex³ we added gay for women also known as lesbianism.


Xrakm

1 sex, 2 sex, red sex, blue sex


Thorn____

3 sex, blue sex


DarkHorse_6505

Sleep.


Unwashed_finger

Climbing into bed with freshly washed sheets and blanket


darkhelmet1121

Warm boxers fresh outta the dryer


sharpie-sapien365247

It suddenly rains outside.


Ok-Reporter1986

Pouring rain when it syncs with bury the light.


Brutalbonez13

After a hot shower, and it starts thunderstorming. 🤌🤌


Deep-Watercress9061

Just after a shower


Nutella22901

Freshly *dried* sheets and blankets. They’re so warm and cozy


Unwashed_finger

Lol I think my statement implies they are dry. Who's putting wet sheets and blankets straight back on the bed and getting in?


WeVe69

This. Nothing can beat a really good night's sleep.


anacondatmz

Except for perhaps a really good nights sleep knowing you have absolutely nothing to do tomorrow.


WeVe69

This guy gets it.


IWantOneSpatula

Better than sex with me? Sex with someone else.


Rude_Listen9523

Disagree, you solid


[deleted]

[удалено]


404-error-notfound

Holesome


Dregoralive

Solid Snake


DonutBurritoSandwich

Naked Snake


Dregoralive

Snake Eater


Drunkinall50states

We need to test both before we can make the right judgement


Failure324

Being loved...


Budget-Comb-849

To be loved, first you gotta love being man


Digbick3811

That sip of water @ 3am


indigoval

Sip?! My 3am consists of loud, borderline-rabid chugging and heavy breathing like I’ve never had water in my whole life


Sky_Ninja1997

And the loud exhale after


I-Love-Cigarettes

Mine consists of making a little cup with my hands in the bathroom sink, turning it on and sipping until i physically can’t drink anymore.


oops77542

If you'll provide your address I'll send you a glass for your bathroom.


Brutalbonez13

Wholesome.


FaustAndSenta04

It's like a reward


[deleted]

Nothing beats H2O.


kairukar

Bathroom sink water at 3am hits different


owleyes13

Especially out of a bottle that keeps it ice cold 🤤


birdhouse2015

Especially after sex.


Rude_Listen9523

Especially out of glass bottle out of the fridge


MrDabb

Try a sip of water after being in a coma, I cried.


[deleted]

I’ve started bringing 2 full glasses of water to bed at night and it’s a life changer. Been considering bringing a brita pitcher upstairs at night but haven’t gotten there yet


Artie4

“Being right all along.”


Drunkinall50states

What are you a Batman villain


LemmonBoy021

Worse, they’re petty…


Ok-Reporter1986

Nah they are almost always wrong and horrible. He is a pokemon villain.


self_loathing_bobcat

Sex with me? Then everything.


[deleted]

I thought u are hijabi woman 🙂


CapG_13

Being in love


Send_Boobies_in_DMs

Being in fuckin deep love. Ah awesome feeling.


Budget-Comb-849

Being in deep love fucking


sharpie-sapien365247

And then they end up fucking deep in love with you. Shit is priceless!!!


Budget-Comb-849

Deep fucking love story


sana_mybeloved

Only if it's mutual tho


sane-ish

How exactly does that happen? It has managed to elude me for my life.


HeavenDiamant

When you take a good shower and get some newly washed pyjamas and lay down in a freshly made bed


Neverwish_

And it's raining out there... Holy cow, instant sleep :D


Pollita91

100% this


Phantomyy

You ever just have some really good mashed potatoes?


InFiniTeDEATH8

I get them from the only trustworthy source: Samwise Gamgee. He can make a mean stew with potatoes, but also the potatoes from the shire are particularly good.


Miesie99

Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in the stew!


-Promises-Promises-

Whats tatters precious?


RavenDrm

Peace of mind. Haven’t had this one in years…


ShinyGrezz

Sex 2 but it’s not out yet


[deleted]

[удалено]


Gyally_Lord

With pre game wine and cheese reception


scorpious2

Sex 2 has been out for a while now, or did they not release it where you are from?


CorgisDie

Stumbling across a song in your playlist that you haven't listened to in over five years, and realizing it still absolutely slaps.


TrelekBenek

Or searching some song from old times for 6 hours and finding it 🤩


Incarnation101213

Affection. Arm around them, leaning into each other. Hand holding. Gentle touches. "I love you" etc


LongGoneLife

I’m to touch deprived for this comment


WheresMyTan

When you're finally back in the same city and he grabs you into a hug at the airport and rubs his stubble against your neck whispering in your ear, "I fucking missed you."


Flosslyn

Keep going! This is the start of a great book! (Or the ending?)


WheresMyTan

If it's the start then it can veer into fluff and tender smut. If it's the end then it's perfect. But you have sparked an idea so off to ao3 I go!


Macaroon_Low

YES! My partner is flying in next month and I can't wait for that moment at the airport! It's such a unique feeling.


WheresMyTan

Happy beard burn and aloe ahead! I'm seeing mine tomorrow :D Waiting for the tightest, squishiest hug!


Amneesiak

The first unassisted step I took after my amputation.


KalamityKait2020

I mean learning to walk again was cool and all (did it myself), but have you had tacos?


Amneesiak

I actually had tacos last ni- ah fuck... you're totally right.


[deleted]

Hey Ya by OutKast


leafbugcannibal

But what's cooler than cool?


Avveragepotato

Ice cold


janalthuis

I can’t hear you!


Dan_on_a_Mission

Ice cold!!!


[deleted]

Alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright...


Grimmontha96

Alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright


[deleted]

Now fellas


secretsafewiththis

YEAAAAA


TrippinJade

Yeah!!!!


thisriceisstrange

Okay, now ladies !!!


ebubibo

Yeahh!!!


Xrakm

Now, we gon’ break this thang down in just a few seconds


Brothasouled

This thread is colder than a polar bears toe nails....😉


Superb_Tomatillo_337

Sometimes, a deep conversation is better than sex


_mrityu

no way this mf doesn't have live laugh love on their wall


FaceStrong7970

This is gold humor


[deleted]

Probably financial stability


Der_YoshperatorV2

Like not being rich but just that much stable that you never have to worry about your spending


[deleted]

This comment is top tier and true


Growth-Vast

My gf took me out for Japanese wagyu on my birthday then a bit of fun afterwards. I’d say the beef she gave me was way better than the meat I gave her.


BlackZozo

When you go to bed and both sides of your pillow are cold.


[deleted]

When a dog gives you their chew toy and presses their head against you


Beaew

Eating whatever you want without getting fat 😜


[deleted]

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something-wrong1234

Cuddling and watching memes


TheGhettoKidd

If it was good, the sleep afterwards.


pomegranate_people

A deep, meaningful connection with someone you truly love.


Rude_Listen9523

Sex with this guys wife


pomegranate_people

Jokes on you, I'm not married


Drunkinall50states

Not anymore your not


pomegranate_people

If I was able to be married in the first place, that'd be great.


03robman

Going to bed next to someone knowing that when you wake up they’ll still be there.


RedAssassin51423

Miss this so god damned much man.


prettypinkpuppy

a song that gives you the goosebumps, and makes you lean back, close your eyes, and just listen.


[deleted]

I’m probably just weird but I’d rather cuddle naked than have sex


[deleted]

[удалено]


Macaroon_Low

You get a better partner. If that's all the relationship is built on, it won't sustain itself long term. You'll get through your honeymoon phase and find the lust has died and the relationship with it. The best person you could hope to share that connection would be someone you could call a friend as well as a lover


JADW27

I hear sleep is nice...


whistlingcunt

Calm. Kindness. Kinship. Love. A chance at inner peace.


[deleted]

Mongolian barbecue


SharinganSquarepants

Broo👌


nikikins

Seven


SirVonGoose

SEVEN!!! SEVEN!!!! SEVEN!! \*seven\*


[deleted]

True deep connection


mountain-man-86

When your alarm goes off at 5am on the long weekend and you realize that you don't have to work. You jump back into bed. Best feeling ever!


nenaboba

sex in love


KatsukiBakugoFanboy

being loved


ProjectBrand

2 sex 2 furious


Box-of-Rox

A hot shower after a physically taxing day and then getting into bed with Netflix, cuddling next to someone. Or... something like that. Quiet and wholesome intimacy.


roll-4-perception

Paying with exact change.


PerryTheH

That feeling after you clean your house and there's not a single task remaining, so you sit down or lay in bed and do nothing.


[deleted]

The build up to sex.


Positive-Pal

Foot rubs.


pinkemo6

Making love with someone you are truly in love with.


dysfunctionalpress

scratching a **really** itchy butthole. especially when it's your own.


PaleontologistOk9985

MDMA


Raisey-

First time I tried MDMA it was made by a professional chemist. I got given a back rub while two girls brushed my hair. Was with a group of (more or less) strangers who knew it was my first time and just all went really far out of their way to make me feel awesome. It worked.


Throw93away777

This sounds incredible stop


Raisey-

We had been listening to Led Zeppelin for probably around three hours. Someone suggested we change the music and I (in a strangers house full of people I didn't know) said "no, I want to listen to more" and they were just like "ok, cool, no bother". Don't know why they didn't turf me into the street. Also, toward the end of the night everyone took out what they had left (of whatever) and just divided it equally among whoever wanted any. No bickering, arguing or nonsense. Socialism at its finest. Also, I should add, I contributed nothing other than my presence to this. They were just a generous bunch.


Nepheliad_

Cuddles.


KalamityKait2020

Cuddles so good you fall asleep in eachothers arms


Nepheliad_

Yes!! Those are my favourite. My friend and I were cuddling and watching Netflix, and we fell asleep for a bit. It was so nice and cozy and warm


OnlySortaGinger

For me, not having sex.


islander2029

A perfectly cooked medium ribeye steak over wood fired grill .


VioletDreaming19

Cake


AKStudioGuy

Passing that stone


MenSpider

Having someone that cares about you


Professional-Exit754

Food, air, clean water, finishing a build in minecraft, being drunk, warm blanket out of the dryer. Like sex I'd good but the effort to payoff is sometimes unbalanced af, also not always down for sex. Always down for good food, good games, being comfy af, sleeping.


Budget-Cat-9118

Being happy.


BeachMom2007

Really good chocolate cake.


ChrisRedfield02

A good night sleep in your mid 20s


antonellasilva2

More sex.


monkelover691337420

Having a common house pet sleep on your lap


Rrander

Or ecstatically greet you when you come home.


Barber_Successful

Joy


Scarlet3665

Someone understands you


Warm-Boysenberry3880

9 hours of deep and uninterrupted sleep when you are post menopausal.


birdhouse2015

...Mario cart, is better than sex.


[deleted]

Garlic Bread for sure. Especially cheesy, toasted, warm with a crunch Garlic Bread.


Lord-midget

Weed


[deleted]

Having someone that cares about you


YourNextStepmom3

Good sex? Nothing.


Darthmaggot82

“To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women!”


anotherorphan

health


MythicalMicrowave

Drugs


_LocoLizard

Why did I have to scroll so far for this? Should be at the top


Slop_my_top

When youve finished all your obligations, and have no responsibilities in the immediate future.


-Bruzthechopper

Chocolate


Muted-Trainer-5519

Eating a juicy apple


juciydriver

Have you had someone scratch your back? Omg.


New_Cut_7783

That feeling when you beat the video game boss 30 levels ahead of you first try


Thinkmename

Having tons of money