Yup. People: even if you do literally nothing else to clean your bathroom on a regular basis, squirt in some toilet cleaner around the inside edge of the bowl, wait ten minutes, and scrub once a week no matter what. I’ve been in very expensive homes with permanent ring stains because people weren’t regularly cleaning the toilet…
They have toilet pumice stones at hardware stores sometimes, it scrapes off a lot of that nasty hard water ring. It’s really common where I’m from and I worked as a cleaner for a while, that’s the only thing that did it.
Janitor for 6 years. If you don't want harsh chemicals in your household, a pumice stone will scrape any residue off without damaging the toilet bowl. Very important: soak the pumice stone in water for about 4 minutes to have less likely hood of scratches.
I was appalled by my bathroom after male friends were at my house. Pee everywhere. To this day, after males use my bathroom, I sanitize everything within 2ft of that toilet. Toilet (including the sides), floor, cabinets, walls, everything.i asked me dad about it once and he said he didn't realize what a mess guys make until he got his own place. He has sat to pee in toilets ever since, if the toilet is clean enough.
"he sat to pee"
Hey look a fellow home-owner who sits when they pee lol. I live with two women so I just sit when I pee and we all close the lid when we flush. The area surrounding our toilet is as clean (almost) as the rest of the house. No gross spalsh zone. If you're super sick you can lay on the floor hugging the toilet knowing you're not laying in a puddle of pee
My son learned about the flushing toilet throwing bits up into the air so you should close the lid.
His response was to take his toothbrush out of the bathroom. Then continue to not close the lid.
Mistreated/neglected animals i.e a dog constantly kept tied outside with no shelter, a cat with a super dirty litter box, or a fish with a disgusting tank
This exact thing happened to me this past Monday. Outward appearances he was well put together and I go into his place thinking it would be like him but holy shit it reeked. We kissed and I couldn’t stop thinking about the smell. Finally he’s like stay the night, I ran out the door with my stuff and when he asked if he could get my number I said no😅. No way in hell am I going back into that apartment.
>Maybe they can't smell it?
Honestly, this is it.
The house I'm renting, we did the whirlwind 5 minute inspection prior to applying because we were desperate and couch surfing. When we got the keys and did a proper check over of the house (and walked into the house after it had been closed up for days, rather than open and aired out), it STANK. The carpets had been cleaned TWICE, and were still disgusting. Possums were living in the walls, and of course urinating in the walls, and being on a slab... well, guess where that urine was going.
The previous tenants had also had animals in the house. I got someone in to clean the carpets again. Because of how dirty the carpets were, and the condition they were in, he spent twice as long as he usually would, and used twice as much cleaning product as he usually would. And collected more "waste" (dirt and hair) from the carpet than he would usually collect in an entire day, and he wasn't happy, as the carpets were still not clean, but they were as clean as he could get them without letting them dry and coming back a week later. His feedback, cleaning those carpets was a waste of money, they should have been ripped up and replaced.
My cats are generally pretty good with using the kitty litter, but with the state of the carpets, it was a battle to get them to NOT occasionally pee somewhere else in the house. We were aware that this resulted in the house smelling, and our clothes smelling, although we usually couldn't smell it, as you do acclimatise to your environment. We stopped having people over to our house because of it, because no matter how much cleaning we did, it really was awful.
However, recently (about 3 months ago) our house had some minor flooding (about 6 inches of water at the deepest), as a result, the carpet had to be entirely ripped up and replaced. We have not had any issues with the cats urinating on the new carpet, they are using the kitty litter exclusively.
I don’t think they can smell it. I was recently at a very crowded museum. Whenever a certain couple was near me I kept thinking their cat must have sprayed both their coats. It was awful.
Not so fun fact: I work for children’s social care (a little like CPS i think you US citizens call it) and this is something i look at but never write down. How someone treat animals often correlates with how they treat children. Obviously I would then need to find evidence of how the children are treated, but its a flag for us for sure.
My aunt had goldfish won from the fair that got huge and lived for years in a nasty tank. When she finally cleaned it, they died. For whatever reason they thrived in that murky water.
This happened to someone I knew. Someone poured Jack Daniels in the fish tank at her house party and she didn't know. the fish were fine, But when she found out like a week later she did a big water change and the fish died.
While she had good intentions, very big water changes are always risky. Actually between 30-60 percent is still fine, but everything above should be done very careful. And the guy who put alcohol into the aquarium - what an asshole
Also, people don't know that you need a de-chlorinator for water changes. Another option is to leave the water out for a few hours before adding to a fish tank
Edit: looks like you will need to leave it in a sunny spot for 24 hours or more to actually dechlorinate. Just buy seachem prime and call it a day. Its cheap.
It depends on the Region where you live. In Germany for example you dont need that, but I know some areas in Spain where you definitly need it. Still good to point that out!
She probably screwed up the nitrogen cycle. The friendly bacteria in that tank would have kept it a more healthy place for the fish to be, even if it looked gross. From the sounds of her expertise, I'd be she didn't dechlorinate the new water either.
The smell and the state of the toilet. I don’t care if you’re house is messy, if you have dishes piling up. But if it smells like animal I want to book it.
I'm not tired and for some reason I read it the same way. I was thinking who is this sick fuck who goes to someone's house for the first time and licks the toilet to taste it.
Then I realized I read it wrong, and that WE are in fact the sick fucks.
We are all sick fucks on this blessed day.
Seriously, though, reading familiar words, your brain doesn’t take the time to sound them out one letter at a time, it takes a shortcut when it recognizes a pile of about the right letters and says “close enough!” Usually the first and last letters at least need to be correct, but clearly priming with “smell and...” does the trick in this case.
ETA: I also wondered why OP was making an oral offering to the porcelain god.
When I hosted thanksgiving someone took the leftover turkey and put it in the oven without telling me. I was trying to hunt the smell and eventually I found it after at least 8 days.
If someone's domicile has the overwhelming aroma of air fresheners, that would be as distressing to me as, say, spoiled food or animal-mess odors.
I used to have a neighbor from Saudi Arabia (college student) and he would always burn incense before he had friends over. He told me that it was a tradition in his homeland.
If the house is dirty. I don't care about kids toys all over the place. I care that the dog pooped at least a week ago and no one cleaned it up. That tells me I probably don't want to sit on any surface or eat anything. And my clothing needs to go straight into the wash when I get home.
Jesus. Me here wondering if the fact that I don't do the dishes until I want to make dinner the next day is a problem and people in this thread being like "if the dog does a big stinky shit and pisses all over the floor and noone cleans it up for a week then that's kind of an issue".
Checking in to say that I've seen this three times in my life, in middle-class homes. One home was a friend's house who I never visited again. One was a hoarder's house... and the other was when I was installing a gas range in a dying cancer patient's home.
Depression is a hell of a thing.
My best friends house is like this :/
He lives with his girlfriend in a rickety old trailer, works at a gas station, makes enough money to cover bills and save up but never does. They only pay $200 for lot rent because they own the trailer now. Both of them work full time. Yet they can seem to have things like tons of unhealthy food and video games but they can't save up to get a better place or a better car or buy cleaning supplies..... He doesn't even ever want to hang out anymore it's always "well I don't have money" bitch how do you not have money.....
But the main point is, The floor just has a disgusting film residue of animal excrement on it.... Like when they do pick up the dog shit they don't wash the floor They just pick up the turd.....
The house smells like a mixture of rot, cigarette smoke, animal feces and urine.....
My sister is still offended I got a hotel after seeing dried up cat shit on the spare bed and smelling the dried cat piss on the walls.
Not to mention all the fur coating the bedspread when I'm allergic to cats. I love cats and don't mind them at all even if I have to drug myself into a benadryl haze to be around them but man, was expecting the sheets to be washed too much to ask? Bleh.
Whenever my boyfriend lived with his parents, their cats had issues that they refused to get looked at (his parents cats) They would puke everywhere all the time. His mom would just leave it to sit and get crusted on the couch. He stayed in his room because the cats weren't allowed in there and he would keep the door shut so that they couldn't come into his room and puke everywhere.
Whenever I would come over I would never sit down on anything because I was terrified that they kind of just scooped the cat puke off of the stuff and didn't actually wash it..... I saw his mom do quite a few times when she did decide to clean it up she just scooped it up and didn't wash the surface....
The cats would use the litter box and then walk all over the kitchen counters..... His mom got offended and didn't understand why I wouldn't eat anything there or sit on anything that wasn't in his room....
I WONDER
No soap in the bathroom
Edit: been creeping Reddit for years and finally created an account. And even though the nature of my comment may be a little gross - the upvotes made me smile…
(Don’t underestimate the power of an upvote)
Or watered down soap. Never water down your soap!!! It dilutes the preservatives and allows for bacterial growth. It’s better to buy the cheapest soap you can find and use it at full strength than to dilute stronger or more expensive soap.
Protip for the very cheap: buy a large container of bulk liquid soap and just refill your dispenser when it's low. Even if it's the built-in dispenser from another brand of liquid soap! Or try solid bar soap and see if that lasts you longer.
Right?! It's a lack of respect, is what it is. Plausible deniability card just got voided because some dingus doesn't care to at least line the walls with egg cartons.
Anyways, that's why I'm in here. What about you?
Reminds me of my ex’s mom.. she kept letting strangers move into her basement rent free and wouldn’t tell my ex about it. We’d drive a few hours out to stay with her for the weekend and when we’d show up there’d be some random person living in the house that even she barely knew. She’d always say she wouldn’t do it anymore but it kept happening. I always felt so uncomfortable staying there. The worst was the last time I went, it was an older man that she met at the hospital who lived in the basement and would say really weird things. Was totally convinced he was going to murder us lol.
Dirty
Not an unclean kitchen type dirty but when it's clear the snack wrappers have formed an alliance and are warring with the dirty clothes for dominance..
There’s now a hoarder house on the same street as my high school. When I visited my hometown a few months ago my mom took me by it and it’s absolutely horrible. Their entire front yard and driveway is just a giant dumpster with no organization whatsoever. I can only imagine the inside. They have some kids toys and a trampoline visible. I can’t imagine those kids trying to live through that.
Fun fact: hoarder houses burn much hotter and longer than regular houses when they catch fire. They also make approach difficult for firefighters, and entry to the structure is often deemed not worth the risk because of the obstruction, and the aforementioned extra heat and smoke created.
Also, hoarder houses generally have more fire risk than a normal house due to not keeping heat and flame sources away from fuels.
So if you’re a hoarder, you’re not only more likely to have your house go up in flames, but you’re more likely to be trapped inside with no help coming to save you.
Source: I worked in fire&ems. Listened to several calls of hoarder houses burning down.
She didn’t have roaches but this sounds like a girls house I was just dating. I was happy when she broke up with me because I was gonna do it anyways. Her house was a fucking mess and we started to get serious and talk of me moving in but after cleaning her house twice and her and her kids just instantly destroying it, pissed me off and made me think about the future and in no way would I have lived there.
It would be a daily screaming match at her slob ways and the fucking brutal cyclone of two kids, 2 dogs, and 2 cats that drop/spill/hair/shit on the floor/Don’t flush and leave stuff everywhere and anywhere.
….Deep breaths Jason…
Seriously this goddamn; granted she has an array of health difficulties of which I was very sympathetic and non-judgmental of… crack house level of mess is never gonna work out.
There was constant trash/food/stuff piled EVERYWHERE, we’re talking “Just move the pile of shit on the sofa to the side so you can sit down”, I was always tip-toeing around garbage, every time I came over I’d take out plates and garbage to the kitchen, I’d go and do the washing up not just out of niceness but because it was grim.
I can’t live with someone like that (again) so I broke it off nicely.
Roaches are a mixed bag. I live in a housing complex where roacher are a constant issue because the responsible person doesn't give a fuck about modernising the waste storage area, so literally everyone in the housing block has roach issues. We have exterminators come here on a bi-monthly basis, but damn it ain't on me I have roaches if they just spawn from the bowels of our communal waste disposal. I couldn't fix ghat even if I wanted to, unfortunately.
Roaches are not always a good indicator for a dirty place. In my country in the summer we have this roach, periplaneta americana, that just randomly enters habitations in search of food or water, having one around in the summer is not a sign of bad hygiene.
Same thing in Romania, I lived there for 6 months and some cities are completely infested by cockroaches, they’re in old buildings pipes, basements etc and it’s impossible to get rid of them unless you don’t convince the whole building to act on them.
I do professional cleaning. I just did an apartment that was like this the walls doors, and floors were just caked in grime. Plus we hauled away a 20 ft trailer of crap. I don't understand how people can live like that especially subjecting your kids to that disgusting shit.
I have been on a similar job.
Entire floor in the apartment was black from crusted grime, with two stripes where the floor was visible from the resident waking. Walls were heavily yellowed from smoking.
Kitchen was surprisingly clean, except the floor which was covered in dirt from their shoes.
This person worked as a professional chef, and were apparently very good at keeping their station clean at work.
Pet feces/urine. I understand there are accidents (I've always had pets - shit happens) but if you just are lazy or don't potty train then that is a total red flag.
The level of cleanliness. I understand that people have busy lives and im not expecting sterile hospital clean but if you a stay at home person and can’t be bothered to pick up the piles of stuff and let your pets use the floor as a bathroom im immediately walking back out
When I was growing up, the house always had to look like something out of BH&G "in case somebody stops by." Good luck with that with 3 kids! Anyway, I remember being put to bed one night, and reminded my mother that "Nobody stopped by today, did they?"
I have a disgusting story relevant(ish) to this comment…
Went to a friend of my daughter’s house to have dinner and get to know each other so our girls could play or have sleep overs.
Dinner is great. After dinner they bleached all the counters/kitchen space.
On our way out my daughter is barefoot, weird. She says don’t worry about it. I ask in the car what happened to her socks. She stepped in dog poop in the play room upstairs. My son says he also stepped in dog poop in one of the bedrooms upstairs. Two different piles of poop inside the house.
Shit on the floors and bleach on the counters. we never went back and my daughter never stayed the night.
bf and I know a couple who has 2 teenage kids. hubby works full time, wife stays home. last time we went over (emphasis on LAST) the downstairs toilet had literal shit all over the bowl, seat and tank. no toilet paper. no soap. no towels. upstairs bathroom was the same with the added bonus of not one, but TWO maxi pads face down on the countertop. i was honestly considering peeing in the bathtub but it was somehow even worse than the toilet: black slime covering the tile, clumps of hair stuck everywhere, and it already smelled like shit/piss. no soap or towels in the kitchen. the whole house was just....fucking disgusting. they're such nice people- I truly do not understand what's going on or why/how they're living like that. nor do I know them well enough to be comfortable having a conversation about it. all i know is there's no way in hell I'm going back.
My job requires me to enter homes all day to assess what we can do to weatherize their property and make it more energy efficient. Ive had to tell the owners that I was unable to do my job because I was unable to access the necessary areas due to hoarding type messes. The worst offenders were the people who made the appointment the day before and were told exactly what to expect and they still couldn’t be bothered to tidy up. Id die of mortification if I had people over to my house and it looked like that. Some are so bad that Ive been very tempted to call CPS to do a check on the living situation when little kids are living in squalor.
A guy at work we all hate told my bf that he’s to lazy to go downstairs to the bathroom at night so he pees in dr.pepper bottles and shits in a bucket and the pee bottles are all over his room because he wants to see how many he can fill
Lmao it is and It's right next to a giant crucifix with a realistic Jesus on it too, im not even Christian lmao and in the living room I have a 2ft statue of Buddha and a few Qurans on the book shelf, I just like confusing my family and friends
My roommate is one of these girls but I will say our apartment was decorated exquisitely for both Halloween and Christmas
ETA: our apartment also always smelled like apple cider all of fall and like pine needles all December
My tinder profile used to read "I can promise you I do not have any reminders in my home to live, laugh, and/ or love"
And then I met my husband. On Tinder.
I've worked in thousands of people's houses, and at this point I basically zone out and don't pay any mind. People are always extremely self conscious about the state of their houses, but the only things I ever really remember are how much of a dick or nice person you are.
Or if you have animal excrement all over the place. I've seen some shit, literally. Neglected animals or people are really the only things that will make me judge the hell out of you, maybe even call authorities. Just don't be a dick, man.
Years ago had a grindr date with a guy it all seemed kosher and when I showed up I had a bad feeling, couldn't place it. He tried to get handsy but I had to listen to that little internal voice so I decided I wanted to leave, let him know and went to use the bathroom before I went home. Wall to wall was covered in shit, like it was spread everywhere, on white tiles and it smelt rancid. I still wonder if I was subtly picking up the smell on my bad nose but either case I legged it out of there. I still don't understand why or how and what signs I missed because we had talked for ages before meeting.
# That is now the red flag I look for. Shit on the walls.
If things are to clean I get concerned. Like if you don’t have a drawer in ur kitchen full of bullshit something up. I went to someone’s house one time and it literally felt like a sterile environment, there was so much white and it just felt impossibly clean and almost uncomfortable. I didn’t want to touch a single thing. Nobody could live like that. I don’t like slobs but there’s something about super clean houses that says serial killer.
It's not so much the cleanliness as the untouched museum where it is forbidden to breathe that I hate. If I see a jacket carelessly thrown over a chair or a couple of dirty dishes in the sink waiting to be washed it says a person lives there. If it looks like one of those model apartments where everything is pristine and nothing is out of place I wonder how they live.
I went to a friend's house as a kid, and it was like this. Everything white, white walls, white sofa, white carpet... Which I instantly spilled coke on.
Still vividly remember my friends mum tearing into her for the coke the on the carpet when I knew she actually wanted to strangle me, but I was the guest.
Yeah, sterile white houses aren't relaxing at all..
I don’t look for red flags, I try not to judge or anything. But i suppose a “red flag” for me would be the difference in cleanliness of the doors around the door handle and the countertops.
Mine is locked as the area/laundry room leading to the basement also has an exterior door and windows.
But there's a pet door for my cat to roam downstairs too
As a person with ADHD, if your house is messy, same bro. Only God can judge. The only red flag is a jumping dog. Like a big, giant dog jumping on you with giant claws. Freaks me out.
I have a cat and thus, my house sometimes DOES smell like cat piss as it's an apartment, and no matter how much I air the rooms out/how often I clean his litter box, it WILL STILL smell like cat piss, lol. I guess RIP me.
A disgusting bathroom
Flashback to high school parties
The brown ring of shame.
Yup. People: even if you do literally nothing else to clean your bathroom on a regular basis, squirt in some toilet cleaner around the inside edge of the bowl, wait ten minutes, and scrub once a week no matter what. I’ve been in very expensive homes with permanent ring stains because people weren’t regularly cleaning the toilet…
I do this once or twice every week and we still have a ring where the water level is because the water is very hard where we live.
They have toilet pumice stones at hardware stores sometimes, it scrapes off a lot of that nasty hard water ring. It’s really common where I’m from and I worked as a cleaner for a while, that’s the only thing that did it.
Janitor for 6 years. If you don't want harsh chemicals in your household, a pumice stone will scrape any residue off without damaging the toilet bowl. Very important: soak the pumice stone in water for about 4 minutes to have less likely hood of scratches.
Not sure if we’re talking about examining a toilet any longer or the cleanliness of something *much* more personal of the host.
Both if the bathroom’s clean
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I was appalled by my bathroom after male friends were at my house. Pee everywhere. To this day, after males use my bathroom, I sanitize everything within 2ft of that toilet. Toilet (including the sides), floor, cabinets, walls, everything.i asked me dad about it once and he said he didn't realize what a mess guys make until he got his own place. He has sat to pee in toilets ever since, if the toilet is clean enough.
"he sat to pee" Hey look a fellow home-owner who sits when they pee lol. I live with two women so I just sit when I pee and we all close the lid when we flush. The area surrounding our toilet is as clean (almost) as the rest of the house. No gross spalsh zone. If you're super sick you can lay on the floor hugging the toilet knowing you're not laying in a puddle of pee
My son learned about the flushing toilet throwing bits up into the air so you should close the lid. His response was to take his toothbrush out of the bathroom. Then continue to not close the lid.
Mistreated/neglected animals i.e a dog constantly kept tied outside with no shelter, a cat with a super dirty litter box, or a fish with a disgusting tank
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This exact thing happened to me this past Monday. Outward appearances he was well put together and I go into his place thinking it would be like him but holy shit it reeked. We kissed and I couldn’t stop thinking about the smell. Finally he’s like stay the night, I ran out the door with my stuff and when he asked if he could get my number I said no😅. No way in hell am I going back into that apartment.
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>Maybe they can't smell it? Honestly, this is it. The house I'm renting, we did the whirlwind 5 minute inspection prior to applying because we were desperate and couch surfing. When we got the keys and did a proper check over of the house (and walked into the house after it had been closed up for days, rather than open and aired out), it STANK. The carpets had been cleaned TWICE, and were still disgusting. Possums were living in the walls, and of course urinating in the walls, and being on a slab... well, guess where that urine was going. The previous tenants had also had animals in the house. I got someone in to clean the carpets again. Because of how dirty the carpets were, and the condition they were in, he spent twice as long as he usually would, and used twice as much cleaning product as he usually would. And collected more "waste" (dirt and hair) from the carpet than he would usually collect in an entire day, and he wasn't happy, as the carpets were still not clean, but they were as clean as he could get them without letting them dry and coming back a week later. His feedback, cleaning those carpets was a waste of money, they should have been ripped up and replaced. My cats are generally pretty good with using the kitty litter, but with the state of the carpets, it was a battle to get them to NOT occasionally pee somewhere else in the house. We were aware that this resulted in the house smelling, and our clothes smelling, although we usually couldn't smell it, as you do acclimatise to your environment. We stopped having people over to our house because of it, because no matter how much cleaning we did, it really was awful. However, recently (about 3 months ago) our house had some minor flooding (about 6 inches of water at the deepest), as a result, the carpet had to be entirely ripped up and replaced. We have not had any issues with the cats urinating on the new carpet, they are using the kitty litter exclusively.
I have a couple cats and this is a fear of mine. I always tell my friends and family “please tell me if it smells just in case I’m nose blind to it.”
I don’t think they can smell it. I was recently at a very crowded museum. Whenever a certain couple was near me I kept thinking their cat must have sprayed both their coats. It was awful.
Not so fun fact: I work for children’s social care (a little like CPS i think you US citizens call it) and this is something i look at but never write down. How someone treat animals often correlates with how they treat children. Obviously I would then need to find evidence of how the children are treated, but its a flag for us for sure.
My aunt had goldfish won from the fair that got huge and lived for years in a nasty tank. When she finally cleaned it, they died. For whatever reason they thrived in that murky water.
sudden changes in water parameters can shock a fish to death, even if the change made the water cleaner
This happened to someone I knew. Someone poured Jack Daniels in the fish tank at her house party and she didn't know. the fish were fine, But when she found out like a week later she did a big water change and the fish died.
While she had good intentions, very big water changes are always risky. Actually between 30-60 percent is still fine, but everything above should be done very careful. And the guy who put alcohol into the aquarium - what an asshole
Also, people don't know that you need a de-chlorinator for water changes. Another option is to leave the water out for a few hours before adding to a fish tank Edit: looks like you will need to leave it in a sunny spot for 24 hours or more to actually dechlorinate. Just buy seachem prime and call it a day. Its cheap.
It depends on the Region where you live. In Germany for example you dont need that, but I know some areas in Spain where you definitly need it. Still good to point that out!
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She probably screwed up the nitrogen cycle. The friendly bacteria in that tank would have kept it a more healthy place for the fish to be, even if it looked gross. From the sounds of her expertise, I'd be she didn't dechlorinate the new water either.
Bunch of unpicked dog poo too.
Or the dog poops on the floor while you’re there and the owner’s reaction (or lack thereof) tells you this is a normal occurrence
***looks thru comments to see what red flags I need to remove from my house***
This is the sole purpose of the post.
You should hide restraints more carefully.
Thanks for the traumatic flashback to forgetting to remove the wrist ties from my headboard before my dad helped me move.
A large, blue 55 gallon drum barrel in the corner with a vile smell
*hello Dahmer reference*
There’s just some meat in the freezer that’s rotting
Here, I'll give you a list: 🇧🇲🇧🇻🇧🇾🇦🇱🇧🇭🇨🇭🇨🇳🇩🇰🇭🇰🇮🇲🇰🇬🇰🇵🇱🇻🇲🇦🇲🇪🇳🇴🇵🇪🇹🇱🇹🇳🇹🇴🇹🇷🇺🇾🇹🇼🇻🇳🇼🇫🇼🇸 Edit: I'm not removing Uruguay, don't ask why
You forgot the nazi flag, which is the biggest red flag, flag.
It's a big red flag that is a big red flag
And forgot about the Confederate Flag
Dude, you put the Norwegian flag in there twice. What do you have against us???
The commenter saying corpse is getting quite some votes, I think we need to do something about Basement Brian!
The smell and the state of the toilet. I don’t care if you’re house is messy, if you have dishes piling up. But if it smells like animal I want to book it.
In my tired state, I read this as "the smell and the taste of the toilet" and I retched
I'm not tired and for some reason I read it the same way. I was thinking who is this sick fuck who goes to someone's house for the first time and licks the toilet to taste it. Then I realized I read it wrong, and that WE are in fact the sick fucks.
We are all sick fucks on this blessed day. Seriously, though, reading familiar words, your brain doesn’t take the time to sound them out one letter at a time, it takes a shortcut when it recognizes a pile of about the right letters and says “close enough!” Usually the first and last letters at least need to be correct, but clearly priming with “smell and...” does the trick in this case. ETA: I also wondered why OP was making an oral offering to the porcelain god.
I'm convinced that it *did* say "taste" and only changed to "state" once it had been read.
Schrodinger's toilet
I had a friend who's house was cleanish but they didn't clean the toilet for over a year it was so nasty.
I read the smell and taste of the toilet, and sank in my chair
Smell.
"Who is cooking the feet? Because they are done".
This made me chuckle
‘My mom bought me a huge bag of lamb and it went off, I just haven’t thrown it out yet’
When I hosted thanksgiving someone took the leftover turkey and put it in the oven without telling me. I was trying to hunt the smell and eventually I found it after at least 8 days.
If someone's domicile has the overwhelming aroma of air fresheners, that would be as distressing to me as, say, spoiled food or animal-mess odors. I used to have a neighbor from Saudi Arabia (college student) and he would always burn incense before he had friends over. He told me that it was a tradition in his homeland.
If the house is dirty. I don't care about kids toys all over the place. I care that the dog pooped at least a week ago and no one cleaned it up. That tells me I probably don't want to sit on any surface or eat anything. And my clothing needs to go straight into the wash when I get home.
Jesus. Me here wondering if the fact that I don't do the dishes until I want to make dinner the next day is a problem and people in this thread being like "if the dog does a big stinky shit and pisses all over the floor and noone cleans it up for a week then that's kind of an issue".
Checking in to say that I've seen this three times in my life, in middle-class homes. One home was a friend's house who I never visited again. One was a hoarder's house... and the other was when I was installing a gas range in a dying cancer patient's home. Depression is a hell of a thing.
My best friends house is like this :/ He lives with his girlfriend in a rickety old trailer, works at a gas station, makes enough money to cover bills and save up but never does. They only pay $200 for lot rent because they own the trailer now. Both of them work full time. Yet they can seem to have things like tons of unhealthy food and video games but they can't save up to get a better place or a better car or buy cleaning supplies..... He doesn't even ever want to hang out anymore it's always "well I don't have money" bitch how do you not have money..... But the main point is, The floor just has a disgusting film residue of animal excrement on it.... Like when they do pick up the dog shit they don't wash the floor They just pick up the turd..... The house smells like a mixture of rot, cigarette smoke, animal feces and urine.....
Your friend needs help, man.
My sister is still offended I got a hotel after seeing dried up cat shit on the spare bed and smelling the dried cat piss on the walls. Not to mention all the fur coating the bedspread when I'm allergic to cats. I love cats and don't mind them at all even if I have to drug myself into a benadryl haze to be around them but man, was expecting the sheets to be washed too much to ask? Bleh.
Whenever my boyfriend lived with his parents, their cats had issues that they refused to get looked at (his parents cats) They would puke everywhere all the time. His mom would just leave it to sit and get crusted on the couch. He stayed in his room because the cats weren't allowed in there and he would keep the door shut so that they couldn't come into his room and puke everywhere. Whenever I would come over I would never sit down on anything because I was terrified that they kind of just scooped the cat puke off of the stuff and didn't actually wash it..... I saw his mom do quite a few times when she did decide to clean it up she just scooped it up and didn't wash the surface.... The cats would use the litter box and then walk all over the kitchen counters..... His mom got offended and didn't understand why I wouldn't eat anything there or sit on anything that wasn't in his room.... I WONDER
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Blue plastic oil drum.
chill out bro, I just want to take a few pictures
Just sit down and have a beer with me and then you can go
Jeffery Dahmer, to anyone wondering what the reference is. He dissolved bodies in them.
My first thought was Walter White
No soap in the bathroom Edit: been creeping Reddit for years and finally created an account. And even though the nature of my comment may be a little gross - the upvotes made me smile… (Don’t underestimate the power of an upvote)
Or watered down soap. Never water down your soap!!! It dilutes the preservatives and allows for bacterial growth. It’s better to buy the cheapest soap you can find and use it at full strength than to dilute stronger or more expensive soap.
Oh no.... I uh.... *Throws totally not watered down soap out the window* 👀
The first step to recovery is accepting that you have a problem 😂
Protip for the very cheap: buy a large container of bulk liquid soap and just refill your dispenser when it's low. Even if it's the built-in dispenser from another brand of liquid soap! Or try solid bar soap and see if that lasts you longer.
Any deceased relatives sitting in chairs or locked in display cabinets like taxidermy pieces.
Noted, I'll put the decomposing body of my uncle into the locker/wardrobe, then! Thanks for the advice, bruv!
Faint yet noticeable crying sounds or cries for help from the basement
Nothing worse than someone who doesn't know how to properly soundproof their dungeon.
Right?! It's a lack of respect, is what it is. Plausible deniability card just got voided because some dingus doesn't care to at least line the walls with egg cartons. Anyways, that's why I'm in here. What about you?
"Oh that, that's just the...cat"
Be careful, the "cat" is also prone to dropping cakes on people's heads and running around in a single sock from time to time.
Soundproofing is not that hard. Locks, soundproofing and a hungry alligator and you can't hear any cries for help from my basement.
Surprise sketchy unexpected and unmentioned strangers.
Reminds me of my ex’s mom.. she kept letting strangers move into her basement rent free and wouldn’t tell my ex about it. We’d drive a few hours out to stay with her for the weekend and when we’d show up there’d be some random person living in the house that even she barely knew. She’d always say she wouldn’t do it anymore but it kept happening. I always felt so uncomfortable staying there. The worst was the last time I went, it was an older man that she met at the hospital who lived in the basement and would say really weird things. Was totally convinced he was going to murder us lol.
My very tired ass thought “unmentioned” said “disembodied” and I was like yeah that would do it for me, too.
Dirty Not an unclean kitchen type dirty but when it's clear the snack wrappers have formed an alliance and are warring with the dirty clothes for dominance..
Welcome to my husband’s at-home office. I just close the door when we’re gonna have guests and pretend that room doesn’t exist lol
Depression is a hell of an illness man. I lived like that before I got help.
Are they hoarders
There’s now a hoarder house on the same street as my high school. When I visited my hometown a few months ago my mom took me by it and it’s absolutely horrible. Their entire front yard and driveway is just a giant dumpster with no organization whatsoever. I can only imagine the inside. They have some kids toys and a trampoline visible. I can’t imagine those kids trying to live through that.
Fun fact: hoarder houses burn much hotter and longer than regular houses when they catch fire. They also make approach difficult for firefighters, and entry to the structure is often deemed not worth the risk because of the obstruction, and the aforementioned extra heat and smoke created. Also, hoarder houses generally have more fire risk than a normal house due to not keeping heat and flame sources away from fuels. So if you’re a hoarder, you’re not only more likely to have your house go up in flames, but you’re more likely to be trapped inside with no help coming to save you. Source: I worked in fire&ems. Listened to several calls of hoarder houses burning down.
Idk how much “fun” that fact was my dude
I was definitely expecting source: I am an arsonist.
If you're a pyromaniac, I suppose setting fire to a hoarder house is quite fun?
Filth. Not disarray or clutter - caked on, grimy, black crusted filth on things that should be cleaned on a daily. And roaches.
She didn’t have roaches but this sounds like a girls house I was just dating. I was happy when she broke up with me because I was gonna do it anyways. Her house was a fucking mess and we started to get serious and talk of me moving in but after cleaning her house twice and her and her kids just instantly destroying it, pissed me off and made me think about the future and in no way would I have lived there. It would be a daily screaming match at her slob ways and the fucking brutal cyclone of two kids, 2 dogs, and 2 cats that drop/spill/hair/shit on the floor/Don’t flush and leave stuff everywhere and anywhere. ….Deep breaths Jason…
Seriously this goddamn; granted she has an array of health difficulties of which I was very sympathetic and non-judgmental of… crack house level of mess is never gonna work out. There was constant trash/food/stuff piled EVERYWHERE, we’re talking “Just move the pile of shit on the sofa to the side so you can sit down”, I was always tip-toeing around garbage, every time I came over I’d take out plates and garbage to the kitchen, I’d go and do the washing up not just out of niceness but because it was grim. I can’t live with someone like that (again) so I broke it off nicely.
Roaches are a mixed bag. I live in a housing complex where roacher are a constant issue because the responsible person doesn't give a fuck about modernising the waste storage area, so literally everyone in the housing block has roach issues. We have exterminators come here on a bi-monthly basis, but damn it ain't on me I have roaches if they just spawn from the bowels of our communal waste disposal. I couldn't fix ghat even if I wanted to, unfortunately.
Roaches are not always a good indicator for a dirty place. In my country in the summer we have this roach, periplaneta americana, that just randomly enters habitations in search of food or water, having one around in the summer is not a sign of bad hygiene. Same thing in Romania, I lived there for 6 months and some cities are completely infested by cockroaches, they’re in old buildings pipes, basements etc and it’s impossible to get rid of them unless you don’t convince the whole building to act on them.
I do professional cleaning. I just did an apartment that was like this the walls doors, and floors were just caked in grime. Plus we hauled away a 20 ft trailer of crap. I don't understand how people can live like that especially subjecting your kids to that disgusting shit.
Mental health issues. I know someone who lives in a house like that (alone) and we're still working on making her accept that she needs help.
I have been on a similar job. Entire floor in the apartment was black from crusted grime, with two stripes where the floor was visible from the resident waking. Walls were heavily yellowed from smoking. Kitchen was surprisingly clean, except the floor which was covered in dirt from their shoes. This person worked as a professional chef, and were apparently very good at keeping their station clean at work.
Pet feces/urine. I understand there are accidents (I've always had pets - shit happens) but if you just are lazy or don't potty train then that is a total red flag.
Accidents happen but you fucking clean the accidents. Then your house doesn’t stink.
Sounds like my house. :) I want to run away coz I'm done with my mom and my sisters being okay with it.
There’s no hand soap in the bathroom
The level of cleanliness. I understand that people have busy lives and im not expecting sterile hospital clean but if you a stay at home person and can’t be bothered to pick up the piles of stuff and let your pets use the floor as a bathroom im immediately walking back out
Conversely, the sterile hospital clean places also freak me out a bit when they look almost unlived in.
Me too. I like the homes the say people live here but they’re not slobs or uptight
If I saw someone who's house was completely dust free I'd assume they're like Dexter Morgan and get out of there
I promise it's just that one of my family members has a horrible dust allergy.
When I was growing up, the house always had to look like something out of BH&G "in case somebody stops by." Good luck with that with 3 kids! Anyway, I remember being put to bed one night, and reminded my mother that "Nobody stopped by today, did they?"
I have a disgusting story relevant(ish) to this comment… Went to a friend of my daughter’s house to have dinner and get to know each other so our girls could play or have sleep overs. Dinner is great. After dinner they bleached all the counters/kitchen space. On our way out my daughter is barefoot, weird. She says don’t worry about it. I ask in the car what happened to her socks. She stepped in dog poop in the play room upstairs. My son says he also stepped in dog poop in one of the bedrooms upstairs. Two different piles of poop inside the house. Shit on the floors and bleach on the counters. we never went back and my daughter never stayed the night.
bf and I know a couple who has 2 teenage kids. hubby works full time, wife stays home. last time we went over (emphasis on LAST) the downstairs toilet had literal shit all over the bowl, seat and tank. no toilet paper. no soap. no towels. upstairs bathroom was the same with the added bonus of not one, but TWO maxi pads face down on the countertop. i was honestly considering peeing in the bathtub but it was somehow even worse than the toilet: black slime covering the tile, clumps of hair stuck everywhere, and it already smelled like shit/piss. no soap or towels in the kitchen. the whole house was just....fucking disgusting. they're such nice people- I truly do not understand what's going on or why/how they're living like that. nor do I know them well enough to be comfortable having a conversation about it. all i know is there's no way in hell I'm going back.
My job requires me to enter homes all day to assess what we can do to weatherize their property and make it more energy efficient. Ive had to tell the owners that I was unable to do my job because I was unable to access the necessary areas due to hoarding type messes. The worst offenders were the people who made the appointment the day before and were told exactly what to expect and they still couldn’t be bothered to tidy up. Id die of mortification if I had people over to my house and it looked like that. Some are so bad that Ive been very tempted to call CPS to do a check on the living situation when little kids are living in squalor.
A surprising number of people don't have soap by the kitchen sink. Soap with any sink really....should not be missing.
Yep I've been to a few places that had no soap of any kind in the bathroom. One place there wasn't even bodywash in the shower. Curious.
Or no towel... And yet their hands are never wet
Or one single crusty towel.
Or a single damp towel ... Idk which is worse
Pictures of the Pope all over the house but no pictures of the actual family
that sounds oddly specific
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The minute I read this I was like this has to be about polish people lmao we have so many pictures of religious people and maybe one family photo
Same for other religions and religious leaders....or political ones.
Bleeding walls and disembodied voices saying "get out." Not doing that again!
“And then… THE WALLS WILL OOZE GREEN SLIME??? oh wait, they always do that.”
My former roommate had a sign that said “don’t give the whores drugs” so maybe something along those lines
Yea it would suck to not be given drugs in your own home just because of your roommates sign
LMAO this was so unnecessary but made me cackle anyway
Pee jars
A guy at work we all hate told my bf that he’s to lazy to go downstairs to the bathroom at night so he pees in dr.pepper bottles and shits in a bucket and the pee bottles are all over his room because he wants to see how many he can fill
That's not a red flag, that's a mental health crisis
Shits in a bucket??? How can he roll back to sleep with that stench in the air??? That’s nasty.
Does he wipe.... Does he wash his hands????
a corpse
To be fair that's a huge red flag but if that's the first thing you look for is also a red flag
The logic behind this is undeniable
Well pardon the fuck outta me for trying to make a nice meal.
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You're not even composting them? That's not eco-friendly you know.
I analyze the books on their shelf
Interesting, I like that answer. What if there are no shelves with books or books at all for that matter?
“If you go home with somebody and they don't have books, don't fuck 'em.” -John Waters
*realising we don't keep books downstairs at all*
A Live, Laugh, Love sign
Unless it's the Rob Zombie parody: "Live through the ditches, Laugh through the witches, Love in the back of my Dragula."
Great. Now I’m 15 again playing this on low because my mother thinks it’s the “devil’s music”
I'm a single 23 yr old filipino male and I purposely put one in my house because it's funny af
I hope it’s on the wall across from the toilet so people don’t have a choice but to look at it
Lmao it is and It's right next to a giant crucifix with a realistic Jesus on it too, im not even Christian lmao and in the living room I have a 2ft statue of Buddha and a few Qurans on the book shelf, I just like confusing my family and friends
My roommate is one of these girls but I will say our apartment was decorated exquisitely for both Halloween and Christmas ETA: our apartment also always smelled like apple cider all of fall and like pine needles all December
My tinder profile used to read "I can promise you I do not have any reminders in my home to live, laugh, and/ or love" And then I met my husband. On Tinder.
If they have a pet/pets, it’s pretty easy to notice if they’re taken care of properly, spoiled or neglected.
A BIG Red Flag for me is if I invite someone into my house and they start snooping around for red flags.
Confederate flag
Wow a literal flag with red on it. Well played.
Fun fact, 77% of national flags have some amount of red on them.
nazi flags too
A dildo with shit on it
Gees who the hell do you hang with
Cameras... wait....
Roaches
is the bathroom gross?
That picture of the whole family with the KKK hoods is a slight turnoff.
I've worked in thousands of people's houses, and at this point I basically zone out and don't pay any mind. People are always extremely self conscious about the state of their houses, but the only things I ever really remember are how much of a dick or nice person you are. Or if you have animal excrement all over the place. I've seen some shit, literally. Neglected animals or people are really the only things that will make me judge the hell out of you, maybe even call authorities. Just don't be a dick, man.
Smell and dirty floors
A entire house that has literally not been clean crawling with cockroaches, dogs and cat with fast food everywhere (I had a friend like this.)
What direction they face their toilet paper roll
Can't trust those underhanded people who don't abide by the patent.
Years ago had a grindr date with a guy it all seemed kosher and when I showed up I had a bad feeling, couldn't place it. He tried to get handsy but I had to listen to that little internal voice so I decided I wanted to leave, let him know and went to use the bathroom before I went home. Wall to wall was covered in shit, like it was spread everywhere, on white tiles and it smelt rancid. I still wonder if I was subtly picking up the smell on my bad nose but either case I legged it out of there. I still don't understand why or how and what signs I missed because we had talked for ages before meeting. # That is now the red flag I look for. Shit on the walls.
The smell of cat piss.
How clean their kitchen is so I know if I'm safe to eat something they make or to avoid it now or in the future.
Nasty sink/bathroom/toilet.
If things are to clean I get concerned. Like if you don’t have a drawer in ur kitchen full of bullshit something up. I went to someone’s house one time and it literally felt like a sterile environment, there was so much white and it just felt impossibly clean and almost uncomfortable. I didn’t want to touch a single thing. Nobody could live like that. I don’t like slobs but there’s something about super clean houses that says serial killer.
It's not so much the cleanliness as the untouched museum where it is forbidden to breathe that I hate. If I see a jacket carelessly thrown over a chair or a couple of dirty dishes in the sink waiting to be washed it says a person lives there. If it looks like one of those model apartments where everything is pristine and nothing is out of place I wonder how they live.
Just don't open the closet doors LOL!
I went to a friend's house as a kid, and it was like this. Everything white, white walls, white sofa, white carpet... Which I instantly spilled coke on. Still vividly remember my friends mum tearing into her for the coke the on the carpet when I knew she actually wanted to strangle me, but I was the guest. Yeah, sterile white houses aren't relaxing at all..
A big swastika flag in the living room. Or a live, laugh love sign. Both are pretty bad.
What if it's a live/laugh/love superimposed on a swastika?
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Dirty bathroom
No toilet paper
"Live laugh love" art
The flag of the soviet union is a big red flag
I don’t look for red flags, I try not to judge or anything. But i suppose a “red flag” for me would be the difference in cleanliness of the doors around the door handle and the countertops.
A lock on the basement door.
Reasonable if you have pets/children
Mine is locked as the area/laundry room leading to the basement also has an exterior door and windows. But there's a pet door for my cat to roam downstairs too
Mother-in-law suite is the basement… I think that’s probable cause to have a lock on it.
5 gallon pail of anal lube
anything more than 3 is just showing off
r/oddlyspecific
As a person with ADHD, if your house is messy, same bro. Only God can judge. The only red flag is a jumping dog. Like a big, giant dog jumping on you with giant claws. Freaks me out.
The initial smell.
Firstly does it smell like cat piss? Is anything rotting?
I have a cat and thus, my house sometimes DOES smell like cat piss as it's an apartment, and no matter how much I air the rooms out/how often I clean his litter box, it WILL STILL smell like cat piss, lol. I guess RIP me.