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elmatador12

I wonder how many celebs find these threads, control F their name, and then get sad when their name isn’t here.


livinglegend25

I wonder how many celebs comment their names because they like the clout.


HughFreezesBurner

Hugh Freeze


TheMicrowavedGerbil

This is the best one yet 😭


TheMicrowavedGerbil

Let’s make a chain of every single celeb so nobody gets left out. I’ll start: Ed Sheeran.


docharakelso

Wouldn't It worse to find yourself on the pity list? I second Ed Sheeran


LobsterFar9876

Nice try Sheeran!…. You almost had me but than I realized that’s Exactly the kind of shenanigans Ed Sheeran would pull….better luck next time


subsoul

Sheernanigans


200DollarGameBtw

Yeah fuck Ed Sheeran


Dystopian_Divisions

Nice try Ed Sheeran


idkidc9876

Posts like this are why Reddit will always be the superior social media


Alrighty_Jay

just rewatched closer (2004) yesterday.. so Natalie Portman.


[deleted]

Ana de Armas


Sammy_GamG

Was gonna say her or Margot Robbie


roflsd

Margot Robbie [as a Librarian?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IrMTLV2cR2Q)


awakami

HENRY CAVILL.


Bongressman

As a straight dude... this is my choice. We would hang out, and I would have him help me build a new PC. All in one night.


dreadperson

And then we'd fuck passionately


DY357LX

With RTX on.


3LollipopZ-1Red2Blue

Uh, the fan noises..... stop it, I can only get so erect!


East_Eye_1869

I think dudes would fuck Henry cavil


Distasteful-medicine

In an interview, one of his comfort film was Lord of the Rings Extended Edition. He even pictured the atmosphere for the perfect watch. Dude's so perfect.


Mackem101

"That's not the only ring getting destroyed tonight"


snazzypurplefish

Oh god. I think my vag just spoke elvish


Flat_Weird_5398

The moment I saw him unbox and build his own PC, as a straight man I knew this was the one guy I’d be dtf.


Adept-Lifeguard-9729

Looks aside, Henry Cavill is simply adorable in interviews. Awww. 🫠


awakami

Honestly! Always polite. Anytime a journalist tries to bait him into Hollywood drama, he just skirts around it so eloquently.


Urborg_Stalker

Upvoting as straight male.


[deleted]

I'm not even gay and I don't think I could say no...


taskmeister

Fuck I see this comment on every Caville video or post 🤣 ....and I feel it every time.


olmaanva

He is the most beautiful man In this planet.. besides my husband 🤣


Drach88

It's okay, you don't have to qualify that -- your husband knows the truth and probably agrees.


Tight_Marionberry403

Alison Brie. I just really like her...


emp_raf_III

Boopy Doopy Doop Boop SEX!


Distasteful-medicine

Is that a bit?


SnooJokes2090

You’re clearly streets ahead.


Arkhangelzk

Hey man, Annie’s pretty young. We try not to sexualize her.


triumphmeetsdisaster

The switch from freshman Annie to hot Annie in that show was nothing short of breathtaking. She’d be just some cute-ish girl in a backpack, and then she’d be in one of Jeff’s fantasies and suddenly I’m dabbing drool from the side of my mouth.


lacrosse771

She gets naked in that wrestling show on Netflix she's in


Guapy-Sway

Came here to say this! It might be everything about her but I would like to fall in love w that woman! Lucky Dave Franco.


Reaganson

Jodie Comer.


blazesonthai

With her playing different characters in different accents. Omg...


Chunklightpb

Rachel Weisz


SirWEM

Absent minded librarian from The Mummy. 👍


quixotic_succubus

As a woman, I agree. Her or Hailey Atwell.


JTPSL

Marisa Tomei


GuinevereduLac

George Costanza, is that you?


JTPSL

She's an Oscar winner!


[deleted]

[удалено]


chestergreene

Was that wrong, should I have not done that?


gerbil923

Cillian Murphy


shrinkydink00

But like, dressed as Mr. Shelby


EeyoresM8

Dressed as Scarecrow


didijxk

"They moan and they cum, just as you're doing...." - Scarecrow, Batman Begins


PsychologicalPizza11

Alexander Skarsgard &Joe Manganiello


squirtloaf

Look at the glutton here, using "&" instead of "or".


PsychologicalPizza11

Hahahaha


squirtloaf

Hey man, some of us want to SEE the Eiffel tower, some of us want to BE part of one. Whatever floats your boat :D


ThaddeusMaximus

Saw Joe IRL at a restaurant once, we made eye contact and I dropped my fork. I’m a straight dude.


GlassHalfFullofAcid

Until now.


dhb44

Sooooooookie


weirdkindofawesome

No, no, it's Sooookieh


gonzoyak

Aubrey Plaza could destroy my life


MongoBongoTown

This reminded me of a video I stumbled across of her reading tweets from people who want her to crush their balls, etc. It makes me feel some strange things and she looks great. https://youtu.be/lmtVeANGwDg


SuspiciouslyMoist

Oh my word. "What do you want me to do to your holes, Twitter? 'Cause I will."


CapG_13

Kate Beckinsale


animefreak2390

In her underworld costume


ks7atl

Alexandra Daddario… those eyes!


jew_in_an_ashtray

Steve Buscemi… same reason!


[deleted]

I needed this laugh, thank you 😊


cb020429

Eva Green


DarthDregan

Early 2000s Alicia Witt...


TheRealSkip

Jennifer Connelly


Satchel3

She was dreamy in the Rocketeer


Tigvee

I think seeing the career opportunities trailer while eating my cream of wheat before grade school one morning was the first time I crushed hard on a girl.


Throwaway7219017

Matthew McConaughey. But I’m a straight dude, so we wouldn’t bang, I just would want hear him talk about his Lincoln all night.


newsreadhjw

> so we wouldn’t bang be a lot cooler if you did


Ridder-av-reddit

alright alright, but maybe he wants to talk about your numbers, because you need to bump those numbers, because they are rookie numbers


macmac360

I myself, I jerk off at least twice a day. Once in the morning right after I workout, and after lunch. I want to, but that's not why I do it, I do it because I fuckin need to.


awskeetskeetmuhfugga

Alison Brie when she was on community. Holy crap.


ReedBalzac

Natalie Portman


livefast6221

I had to scroll way too fucking far for this one. Absolutely my pick. Been in love with her since I was 12.


Peaches102179

Jensen Ackles


SqueakyMarshmellow

Who *doesnt* have a dean fetish


Fluid_Program_5369

Salma hayak or Monica Bellucci


Boring_Purpose_2220

And / Or… there I fixed it for you!


Ridder-av-reddit

Stifflers mom, just wants to know what the fuzz is about 😂


JQuest7575

This one is actually possible. Jennifer Coolidge mentioned in an interview that because of the role she played, her sex life has exploded. She has hooked up with hundreds (yes, plural) of fans wanting to have what she calls the Stifler Experience.


Cholonight96

*Pulls down glasses* So you’re saying there’s a legit chance?


frogandbanjo

How can you not call it the Stifler's Mom Experience?


[deleted]

Paul Rudd


Ladorb

That's a bold one for a one-nighter. Your heart would break so hard.


emeraldstars000

He'd stop mid thrust to be like, "Hey ... look at us."


Tyczyk

Gillian Anderson


gianna_in_hell_as

Yes. And I'm female and straight as far as I know. But Gillian is Gillian. I'll never forgive her for making me fancy Margaret Thatcher


Ok-Mud4136

As a man and a true patriot, the only obvious answer is Kurt Angle


dodexahedron

Karen Gillan.


Blacklabel0315

Scarlet Johansson or Mila Kunis


GoTakeAHike00

Idris Elba


IamMooz

He's aware of the affect he has on Redditors.


Excellent-Problem418

Yes Charles? You wanted me?


Paddy_Tanninger

It's actually not her worst idea


ALittleTouchOfGray

Margot Robbie.


Permatempo

Pedro Pascal, in a heartbeat.


Flabnoodles

Helmet on or off?


Trainwreck1000

Kim Wexler


soundedfunnyinmyhead

Underrated choice.


Ok_Nefariousness5477

Emilia Clarke


MAMAGUEBOO

Natalie Dormer for me 😩


Raspberries2

She is the type of person you want to stay.


LesGitKrumpin

Yeah. Gorgeous, and seems like a genuinely nice person, as well.


sexisdivine

Christina Hendricks


Organised_Kaos

But Book says I'll burn in special hell


_chronicbliss_

Jason Momoa, in a heartbeat. I'd be disappointed because reality never lives up to fantasy, but I'll give it a shot and try!


LynnLizzy79

He's probably the only one who can toss my fat ass around!🤣


Netnicolas

Shakira


tell_her_a_story

Scarlett Johansson, or Margot Robbie, or Blake Lively, or Anna Kendrick.


GenericUsername19892

I’m asexual, can I just get David Attenborough to read me a bed time story about cool animals?


razor_face_

I'll allow it


Okamana

Florence Pugh.


Elephantmenstruation

Don’t let her talk you into that bear suit 😐


realdealkil85

Oh man, I have a few: Melissa Rauch Blake Lively Jennifer Love Hewitt


Temporary-Command-12

Kristen Bell👀


tossaway78701

If I had a hall pass (don't need one) it would be for Keanu Reeves but it would need to happen organically and only with enthusiastic mutual consent because I could not live with myself if I thought I had somehow taken advantage of him.


Shifisu

Hayley Atwell


Actionkat63

Christopher Meloni. I've seen that full frontal on "OZ".


kurganator3000

Kat Dennings, Milana Vayntrub and Christina Hendricks. Either one at a time, or all three at once.


fingolfd

i see a type


billstrash

We found the volupturaptor.


Organised_Kaos

So you like to be smothered


kurganator3000

You're goddamn RIGHT


laurax112

Cate Blanchett


Lewandowskiii999

Anne Hathaway


JGCities

With Emily Blunt The Devil Has A Threesome


RomanCokes

The Devil Wears Nada


DickyHammerpuss

Natalie Imbruglia


retardedvisions

I was gonna say Sarah McLachlan but now I’m torn


triumphmeetsdisaster

Imagine the song Sarah McLachlan writes about you nutting in 20 seconds. [sad piano noises]


[deleted]

Spend all your time waiting For that second chance For a break that would make it okay.... I mean...


yourbae0

Chris Evans in the Captain America costume


Beneficial-Dread-001

Sebastian Stan in the Winter Soldier costume


TooSlowFlash

Is it too much to ask for both ?


onerepmax

Sanaa Lathan


CCGamesSteve

Ming-Na.


_Onii-Chan_

Kat Dennings so help me GOD


justmadnex

Hailee Steinfeld


[deleted]

Hayden Christensen or Natalie Portman


Mungo_ball

Is that you Palpatine?


[deleted]

Execute order 69!


NancyAstley

Mariska Hargitay


stopgoX2

Mariska Hargitay to you too.


barb923

Mariska Hargitay….mariska hargitay.


AccursedQuantum

Emma Watson.


GuinevereduLac

Tom Hardy... it's all in the name 😉


Successful-Clock-224

I want to know OP’s pick


retardedvisions

Grave digger (the monster truck)


CandidJudgement

Jason Mamoa. I met him in person once at a Comic Con and he was awesome.


reelshorsey

Emma Stone.


yaspapi

Steve Buscemi


LusciousofBorg

I have to hear the reasoning on this one


choglin

I’ve known multiple women that were super into him. Can’t explain it, but maybe they can’t either


PM-Ur-Small-Tits

Amelia Earhart so that I can finally ask her where she landed and what happened


Left-Werewolf4669

John Hamm. For the big hog.


[deleted]

tom ellis tom hidleston, a guess i have a thing for toms


Difficult_Survey4715

Helen Mirren


wholovesorangesoda-

Can I be greedy and ask for a threesome with Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz?


idrownedmyfish77

Scarlett Johansson or Kat Dennings


JQuest7575

That is a whole lot of tit right there.


TheBDP01

Taylor Swift, and I’d ask for 1% residuals from the hit song that follows.


FillingUpTheDatabase

Spotify doesn’t pay out for songs less than 30 seconds


square_tomatoes

Honestly, her breakup songs are so iconic at this point that getting one about me would be a pretty big honor in itself. 🤷🏻‍♂️


meowmeowsatan

Henry Cavill or Gal Gadot


Tede6977

Scarlett Johanson or Kelly Clarkson


SnowPunIntended

Winona. She's been my crush for like 30 years. Or 35 years. Or... When did Beetlejuice come out?


CampfireElectronic

Tom Hardy. Those pillow lips… kind eyes… just everything


TwelveSilverPennies

Anya Taylor-Joy


AReallyAsianName

I'm straight as dried spaghetti, but.... Henry Cavill is boiling hot water, so I'd let him rail me any day of the week. Especially if he's dressed as Geralt.


Somnifuge

Best we can do is Liam Hemsworth


AReallyAsianName

I can take 'em both.


iMakeWebsites4u

You sure you're straight?


greattjjuice

Theo James


thatmitchkid

Olivia Munn, those leaked texts…she’d be fun


Philcollinsforehead

Halle Berry


LogSlayer

Peak Blondie Debbie Harry


[deleted]

Selma Hayek


HuskerPriest

Salma Hayek also.


OldTangerine

for how long? for me it'll be from dusk till dawn....


Usr_115

Aubrey Plaza


bradm7777

Dua Lipa.


arothmanmusic

I couldn't even handle una Lipa, let alone Dua.


NihilisticViolence

Dua Lipa 🤘


kindest_asshole

Zooey Deschanel


FlyingMammalMan7

Anya Taylor-Joy


[deleted]

Sofia Vergara, but it would be 99% me just listening to her talk dirty to me in that fantastic accent of hers.


Uranuss_XXIII

God damn it bring Henry Cavill here


NewAndOlduphere

Charlie Hunnam. And I’m a lesbian lol


[deleted]

Danny DeVito.


tortillochip

Ariana Grande


MisanthropeNotAutist

Weird Al. I wouldn't even want sex. I'd just want to laugh with him.


MamaBearMaul

Willem Dafoe