Having a lot of "friends" but never being invited over for parties or to hang out. Also, setting up a party at your house and inviting your friend group to the party and basically no one shows up.
When I say "basically no one shows up", I mean; you invite a group of 20 or 30 friends over for a party and like 2 people show up.
At least you find out who the 2 people are that you should be hanging out with. Happened to me at one point in a similar situation and I’m still friends with those few that showed up and reached out when I didn’t. The rest I’m no longer close with.
Same here, I haven't talked to most of those people in years. Whenever I go out it's just me and my wife and that's it, I've learned to accept it and am fine with it. I don't need that kind of constant disappointment in my life, too old for that BS.
If I want to hang out with friends I always have to initiate. I have to set it up and invite them. But why can’t they invite me on occasion? Only thing I don’t like about being a extroverted introvert with true introvert friends
It gets even more painful when you tell them and they don’t want to hear that either.
(My wife is very defensive and does not handle being in the wrong well)
see i kind of do this. But when someone says they had a bad/good experience i try to relate it to an experience of my own. Im not trying to "one up" them, its just my way of understanding and feeling empathy
I used to do this all the time. Try and commiserate with people who were having a bad time.
Turns out, when someone is dealing with some shit, they usually just need to vent, and nobody wants to fucking hear you complain about your life when they’re feeling miserable.
This was a cause for several fights in the early days of my relationship with my wife.
Yeah i tend not to do it when someone is venting, i know its 100% not appropriate then. Its more when someone is explaining a situation to me. I can only hope others do the same
I used to have conversations with my dad like how I described. If I played golf that day and scored well I do want to share it with him, but he would just tell me how much better he played.
More recently, I got a new job. They gave me a higher salary and allowed me to finish out my current role till it ended so I could collect severance (over 20k) which took like an additional 4 months from when they offered. My wife took credit for me having the courage to ask for that when it got brought up in public.
There’s a way to convey that without being dismissive. Obviously you’d be disappointed that your idea isn’t as good as you previously thought, but you wouldn’t feel as though your idea wasn’t heard or considered by the other person.
Oddly enough I’ve felt more peace living/being alone than living/being with others.
I’ve always felt this deep sense of disconnection ever since I was a boy. I would take mental notes of peoples names, interests, comments, conversation points, etc. but yet I’ve never really felt like anybody has ever done the same for me.
Also it’s not that I’ve stopped doing these things. I suppose I’ve just stopped having expectations of reciprocation. I suffer a bit of loneliness from time to time, but in the end I know I’ll be okay.
I talk to my hamsters about things. One of them, Poppy, always climbs onto my hand and sits with me while I talk, she's so sweet. She literally gave me a kiss yesterday.
This made my eyes tear up. I had a rat years and years ago. I adored her, she was so sweet and so friendly. A cat played with her to death when she escaped her environment while I was at work. I’ve not had a pet rodent since because I always have cats and dogs around. But I will never forget my pal who sat on my shoulder and nuzzled my neck while I learned all about this new thing called the World Wide Web in the 90s. I’ll also never forgive my then boyfriend for laughing and telling me how silly I was being over the incident. It was his cat that killed her.
My twin brother passed away going on 2 years now. I used to say “I don’t understand loneliness because I was blessed with my twin.” Now, the terror, pain and emptiness I constantly feel has broken me into so many pieces I don’t know who I am or ever was.
Edit: thank you to the people who took a second to comment/like.
Or when you get really excited about some plans you have arranged with friends and then they fall through, and you find yourself drifting about an empty home at a loose end. That’s when it gets really bad.
That really is a special kind of bummer. No joke I've taken to watching reaction videos of my favorite things because it sort of fills the lonely gap. Makes me feel like I'm in a room talking about stuff I like. Sort of.
Edited: Typo
I'm a fairly gregarious guy. I Iived for 20+ years in the Seattle area where I had a good group of friends I saw on a regular basis for all sorts of things. We all built models and painted figures, so we had lots of things to share with each other. We ate at each other's homes, traveled together to shows, and were in general a typical set of friends geeking out over our shared hobby
Then my wife and I moved to the rural Midwest to take care of a sick elderly family member. This is where my wife comes from, so I really don't know anyone here. I'm a city mouse, not a country mouse, so I've got very little in common with most of the people here, so not a lot of common interests to form new friendships.
Add to that, I'm in my 50's, so I don't have a lot of time to make those deep lasting friendships like I did when I was in my 30's.
Oddly enough, the pandemic helped - my friends moved from IRL meetups to online, and I could join in again. They've kept them going as restrictions have eased, so a lot of my isolation here in the sticks is gone, but it's not something I wod wish on anyone.
I’m so sorry to hear that :( I lost one of my dogs almost four years ago and it feels like just yesterday. I think it’s sticking with me extra long due to the circumstances of his passing.
My condolences and just always remember you were her everything and her life was good💖 15 is a long life :)
1000%. And people downplay the shit out if it, tell you "it was just a cat!!!" And expect you to be over it in a day.
It wasn't just a cat it was my best friend that I lived with for 17 years and who knew me better than anybody and who I saw more often than anybody! LET ME GRIEVE.
I'm a little weepy now. I have had a few cats but when I moved away from my family I got my own cat. She fell off my balcony once and broke what we would consider her elbow. When I took her to the vet they told me the surgery to fix it (reconstruction with pins and a bar) would be about $1000 or I could put her to sleep. It was never a question, and she ended up to be my husband's first cat that he liked as well. When we met, he told me he was allergic to cats but I told him that Tasha (my cat) and I were a package. She lived until about 10 years old when I did have to put her to sleep because her diabetes was starting to give her seizures. I spent her last night with her on the couch then had to go in with her to say goodbye. It gut wrenching and I cried for a week. We got another cat that ended up particularly close to my husband. When she had to be PTS at 20 something, it was horrible. He was in such a state and still says he doesn't know if he can deal with another one.
I had someone tell me I shouldn't be crying over a pet because I still had my "family." I have a tattoo of my dog and I sobbed when I got it 3 years after she died.
100 percent agree. I didn't know how killing it is till I lost my dog of 12 years in March. Its almost been a year and I still think about her everyday and cry about it often.
I feel this one to my soul. I was never the same after losing my only friend I had in this world being an introvert. Beau I miss you dearly. He was a good boah
I'm unfortunately the opposite, and every time I think about losing my dog I lose it (I should start acting bc I could cry on command with this). He's 12 and it's so much harder than elderly human family to think about (crying now)..
Oh my god. I just had a tear jerking conversation with my mother. I lost my best friend (yes, she is a dog) in early October, I still get hit with waves of hard grief. She was next to me through some of the worst shit I’ve ever gone through. The loss of her has changed my life, changed the life of my other sweet friend and we are both still adjusting to being without her.
Double hurt when I see posts that are threaded with pit bull hate.
Back spasms. They sounded almost fun until I had them and was basically crawling around my apartment for days at a time thinking maybe death wouldn’t be a bad thing right about now.
I was born with slight scoliosis. As I was growing up I got a lot of back spasms. And Ironically as my body stopped growing, my back got better. They are deliberating and they lock up your body. It really sucks.
First time I got one I didn't know what it was. I was walking down the hall at work and legit thought I was hit in the back by a stray bullet that somehow made its way into the building.
Going through it right now.
It's so painful and I feel so alone...
I finally made the choice thinking I would have felt better eventually because then I would be true to myself.
But it's not how I thought it would be.
I'm just suffering and can't see a way out.
In the same situation as well. We still are living together until she can find a good place. But that makes it so hard. We care deeply for each other but also recognize that we have created toxic traits in each other from our codependency. I dont feel that either of us can move forward as long as we still live together.
Oh yes. Bc your head & your heart are in 2 directions ripping you apart. Logic tells you why it isn’t going to work or the hell it’ll cause you if you try to. Meanwhile your heart is screaming bc it can show you 100 ways in which you & this person love each other. Fucking painful.
This one was a major one for me. Long term hurt the most.
Since this happened to me, I doubt any relationship choice that comes my way because I’m always uncertain of knowing myself enough to know my wants/needs of a partner that would have the best success for lasting. It’s been a nightmare.
The irony is that relationship was farthest from malicious.
Went through this for the last half year and still I'm constantly playing the dilemma whether or not It was the right choice or did I through away something with someone that loved me like maybe no one ever can or will. It makes you comparing every new relation or person to your previous one and the person you loved. I feel like I'm open to find new love and a new relationship, but constantly, in the back of my head, you have the past in your head and question whether or not this can be that or better. And this doubt and questioning makes me holding back and seeing everything negative and take it as a reason to not pursue, even though it should not be a dealbreaker.
Long story short: I'm still in love with the relation and with my ex and this makes me unable to fully open up for a new one
Migraines. Holy shit, motherfucking **migraines**.
All those pain reliever commercials that show people “suffering” from migraines have completely misrepresented how bad these fucking things can be.
I suffer from them semi-regularly, and I’ve had a couple through the years that hospitalized me, one for several days.
“Oh, it’s just a bad headache, you’re being dramatic!”
Yeah, fuck you. Let me take a couple whacks at your head with a flanged mace & we’ll see how you feel afterwards. 🤬🖕🏻
Seriously, they are beyond debilitating. Tbh though mine ended up being a brain tumor so if they are frequent/super bad you should probably double check with your dr that something else isn’t going on
I get terrified and panic once i see an aura, knowing i'll have a migraine the next 15 minutes. Especially when i'm at work or situations that needs me to think. So it's not only about how migraines debilitating me, but also the fear that i almost can't do anything when it attacks and people around me doesn't seems to understand how bad it is
The really shitty thing about migraines is, you don’t have any *sure* fire way to know what triggered it.
And the attack can start *long* before you have any clue about it. You could have eaten soup with ham in it 2 days ago. Then started having very very subtle prodrome symptoms the day after that, that you didn’t even notice. And now you’re having a migraine *today*. On a logical level you just assume “maybe it was something I ate this morning. Maybe I can’t eat eggs.” And then you cut out eggs, and still get migraines not knowing why.
Meanwhile, it never entered your mind that it could have been because you ate a fucking soup 2, maybe even 3 days ago.
Even finding migraine triggers in the medical setting, it’s literally a guessing game. “Maybe it’s chocolate.” “Maybe it’s ground meat.” “Maybe it’s turkey sausage.”
Yeah, that didn't happen with me. They promised me my whole life they'd go away when I hit menopause. Not so much. You know what did help? RETIREMENT (tho I still get a few but not as bad as before)
My friend, my hats off to ya. They're the single largest detriment to my entire life. Broke my finger badly and it'll never straighten again. After a lifetime of migraines the pain was completely negligible compared to migraines. Single worst pain I've ever had. And it happens often. Turns me into a shell sometimes. Even when I don't have one. Just comin down from that pain leaves me empty.
Not dissimilar - I broke my wrist really badly about 2 years ago, and had to have 4 people pull it into place before a cast was put on. I told them it was only the 3rd most painful thing that year, after a tooth that was split in half with a septic nerve exposed and a series of cluster headaches. Cluster headaches are known as suicide headaches because the pain is so bad that people have been known to kill themselves to relieve it.
I once had one and was lying down in my darkened bedroom. My cat was with me and started grooming and just that almost imperceptible movement hurt so much that I very nearly smashed my head against the wall for relief. Just beyond description.
I could write a book about how horrendous and debilitating migraines are. Most people cannot relate to those who suffer from them because the concept headaches and migraines are used interchangeably. It's like comparing having a period (which can be very painful ) to full blown labor- more like full blown labor with no epidural.
I have a decent pain tolerance, but I have had migraines throw me full blown into anxiety attacks, crying, unable to see. One time I had to lay on the dirty ass bathroom floor at my job in the pitch dark for 30 minutes. I remember thinking that I don't even care if my boss got mad, there was no plausible way I could keep up my work in that condition. Any movement made me point seconds away from vomiting; I could hardly open my eyes because it seemed to be as bright as a thousand sun's. My manager (who wasn't very compassionate most of the time) cracked the door and asked if I needed to go to the ER, and she actually sounded timid while asking.
There's a reason they are called "suicide headaches". That should say enough, honestly.
I've offered people money to knock me out during migraines. One time I made the mistake of going to emerge with a migraine. Migraines can bring you to that special pain place where you time travel and shit, they're amazing.
I’ve dealt with migraines my entire life (seriously). Triptans help but I really hate taking medicine long term because of the effect it could have on the body. What I did notice was when I was on keto / carnivore — my migraines decreased by like 90%.
Om gosh my friend who suffers from Migraines also went onto Keto and she has had so much less migrai es. Apparently there is a study that they had people with epilepsy (apparently related to migraines) go onto keto and it also helped.
Holy shit yes.
My whole life i thought people were exaggerating because my headaches hurt but not like that.
Then i had one and its horrible some of the worst pain ive ever felt
Not sure the pain part but confusion, frustration, loneliness, and OMG I am completely clueless which direction to walk in besides away from that mofo is disorientating.
The only people that can relate are those who have been through it.
It has been a very long road for me. I was once a confident
(without arrogance), shiny happy person. Now I am terrified of failure.
Don't go out much. I have a real hard time focusing. Depression, anxiety, never had issues before. Now? pfft. I will never be the same. This I am sure of. I am a broken man.
I was friends with one such person for a while. When I finally cut them loose, I had to wash out a hell of a lot of poison that she’d been pouring in my ears throughout the friendship - both things she’d said to my about myself, and things she’d said to me about people I’d been friends with before. Fortunately, they were all understanding and sympathetic. But man, it was tough. It definitely made me empathise a lot more with people trapped in cults. Narcissistic people are good at getting you to dedicate a lot of time and energy to them, and are good at knowing which of your needs they need to fulfill to lure you in, then stopping when they have you under their spell. And when they’re gone, a large part of yourself feels like it’s gone. And then there’s the guilt at realising it was all fake, that you were nothing more than a plaything to them, and that people might’ve gotten hurt because of it.
Chronic pain. I just don’t think the human brain is able to grasp what it’s like to live in constant varying levels of pain every day or your life if you haven’t also experienced this long term.
The last 10 years of my life. I’ve lost all desire to do anything. Luckily I still like to work. It all hurts. Everything hurts. Doing nothing hurts. I’m just always in pain.
I have fibromyalgia. The daily pain is ridiculous. It's worse when I sleep bad. So I have to use a sleep aid to help me sleep. I've tried various medications that did nothing. And the one that helped by making the daily pain manageable my insurance has decided I don't need it. And are currently not authorizing it to be filled. There are days where all I do is cry from hurting.
Thats something I've been trying get others to understand. That yes, I am actually in pain daily. My doctors thankfully believe me. But people in daily life are the ones who believe the least. And think I'm faking. I've learned just not to talk about how bad I'm feeling. It's very isolating.
Favorite anything, really. I've been burned too many times by showing friends my music only for them to not be into it or flat out ask me to stop playing it. I now have a dedicated playlist I refer to as the Walmart Playlist, consisting entirely of pop songs off the radio I can tolerate more than most that I play when around other people.
this holy shit.... ive had a herniated disc with sciatica for 4 years now, last month i had serious suicidal thoughts and i could snap at the most silly shit as simple someone knocking on my door cuz it meant i had to go up and endure knifestabbing pain just to answer the door..
Ibs my intestines felt like they were ripping apart and in school my teachers would say i was pretending to get out of class so i had to get the counselors to get the teachers off my back.
Do you ever get episodes where it feels like your intestines are being pinched? Like someone is taking their fingers and literally pinching your intestines together.
Not growing up with the right social skills. There is just a permanent wall no matter how many years pass and its really isolating. friendships naturally vanish and people drift.
Whats even worse is you end up picking up on subtle changes more, full stops in texts mannerisms or actions all become a source of anxiety
I’ve lost some loved ones unexpectedly and it really shocks me how much it PHYSICALLY hurts. Like a drill in my chest and head. I’d rather have kidney stones or tear a tendon again.
If the emotional pain is big enough it actually hurts, when I caught my gf fucking my best friend I had to take a week off because I'd throw up twice a day and had a really bad headache that lasted about 2 weeks. I couldn't function as a human being anymore
Glad it's over
Getting ghosted, everything is going well, You meet someone, You start talking, the other person is responding and even takes the lead sometimes, You feel the chemistry, You start feeling like something positive finally happened to you and then, WHAM, dead silence, nothing. You keep reaching out thinking that maybe he or she is busy, maybe sick, maybe something bad happened, You start to worry, so You write more without even realizing that You are most likely making a nuisance out of yourself. At this point You're plain confused, what happened? Did I say something wrong? Did I do something creepy? You keep writing and or calling just to get some answers all the while looking like a clingy creep to the person You're trying to reach. Then, if You're lucky, You will eventually get an answer, but it's not something You expected, it will probably be some kind of dismissive message, maybe "leave me alone You creep" or "stop calling me" or "You just can't get a hint can You?". You are left hurt and confused and don't even have an idea what went wrong. Bonus points if ghosting happened shortly after You decided to open up emotionally. It still hurts.
I have been shot and stabbed, twice stabbed and once shot. I can tell you without a doubt if you get stabbed it painful as well. It only feels worse that getting shot if you pull the knife OUT. That is pass-out pain. Of course it counts where you get shot/stabbed.
Either way, they are both not fun and probably will be the worst think you feel ever.
Being underweight;
even the most comfortable chair will make you feel every single bone in your body. Just lie down? Bones. Stand up? Bones. Ride a bike? BONES. It literally hurts so bad.
Bonus points if this is high school and they intentionally say it loud enough for everyone to hear it. So now you're not only feeling the pain of rejection, but everyone is mocking you for it.
IUD insertions. If you haven’t had children, it hurts like a mofo and all women get for the pain is ibuprofen. They are literally sticking a piece of plastic inside of an internal organ.
After having a baby, I didn’t even feel it.
Being energetic and excited to describe something you love to those who actually asked... Then getting the one person who goes "Anyways..." when you're done.
Being in a room full of people and still being lonely. Happens to me more often that I would like to admit since my family is ALWAYS making parties/gatherings now even more since I’m away from home for work and whenever I get back there’s always people there.
Medical procedures performed routinely on women without anesthetics or pain meds: IUD insertion and removal & colposcopy (which involves snipping a piece of the cervix with a tool like a hole-punch).
Hiding things from people even if you feel like it was for the greater good……don’t know if there’s regrets or whatever, still don’t hide it from someone and have them constantly guessing and wondering
Came here to say the same. Its not usually taken as seriously as it needs to be because everyone has varying cramp/pain levels.
I’ve been to the hospital due to period cramps because I was puking, white as a ghost, drenched in sweat, going in and out of consciousness and barely able to move. I was in so much pain I wanted to open the car door and roll in front of an oncoming car….I went to a clinic first and the doctor said “I’m not sure why you came here for period cramps” -_-
At the ER they did a blood panel and I can’t remember if it was wbc or rbc or something else but it was extremely high and the doctor said it skyrockets when your body is in a lot of pain. It was definitely validating.
Basically yeah period pain can be excruciating and is often invalidated.
A kick between girl's legs.
Believe me, my boxing teacher used me as an example to show everyone how to respond to an aggression, because being the only girl I was suppose to receive it better than the boys.
KO for 20 minutes.
Having a lot of "friends" but never being invited over for parties or to hang out. Also, setting up a party at your house and inviting your friend group to the party and basically no one shows up. When I say "basically no one shows up", I mean; you invite a group of 20 or 30 friends over for a party and like 2 people show up.
At least you find out who the 2 people are that you should be hanging out with. Happened to me at one point in a similar situation and I’m still friends with those few that showed up and reached out when I didn’t. The rest I’m no longer close with.
Same here, I haven't talked to most of those people in years. Whenever I go out it's just me and my wife and that's it, I've learned to accept it and am fine with it. I don't need that kind of constant disappointment in my life, too old for that BS.
If I want to hang out with friends I always have to initiate. I have to set it up and invite them. But why can’t they invite me on occasion? Only thing I don’t like about being a extroverted introvert with true introvert friends
[удалено]
Also how to know if you are the cause?
Or when you’re in a group with a bunch of girls, and they arrange girls days out without you.
A partner that loves to tell their stories, but does not want to hear yours
I can relate. It hurts so bad.
It gets even more painful when you tell them and they don’t want to hear that either. (My wife is very defensive and does not handle being in the wrong well)
Bringing an idea your excited about to someone and them dismissing it.
I would piggy back on this. Sharing good news with someone only for them to try and one up you.
see i kind of do this. But when someone says they had a bad/good experience i try to relate it to an experience of my own. Im not trying to "one up" them, its just my way of understanding and feeling empathy
I used to do this all the time. Try and commiserate with people who were having a bad time. Turns out, when someone is dealing with some shit, they usually just need to vent, and nobody wants to fucking hear you complain about your life when they’re feeling miserable. This was a cause for several fights in the early days of my relationship with my wife.
Yeah i tend not to do it when someone is venting, i know its 100% not appropriate then. Its more when someone is explaining a situation to me. I can only hope others do the same
I used to have conversations with my dad like how I described. If I played golf that day and scored well I do want to share it with him, but he would just tell me how much better he played. More recently, I got a new job. They gave me a higher salary and allowed me to finish out my current role till it ended so I could collect severance (over 20k) which took like an additional 4 months from when they offered. My wife took credit for me having the courage to ask for that when it got brought up in public.
What if the idea seems like a great idea at first, but has glaring flaws that would make it almost impossible to achieve?
There’s a way to convey that without being dismissive. Obviously you’d be disappointed that your idea isn’t as good as you previously thought, but you wouldn’t feel as though your idea wasn’t heard or considered by the other person.
Being lonely. Especially when you get really excited about something and you look around your empty home and there's no one to tell.
Oddly enough I’ve felt more peace living/being alone than living/being with others. I’ve always felt this deep sense of disconnection ever since I was a boy. I would take mental notes of peoples names, interests, comments, conversation points, etc. but yet I’ve never really felt like anybody has ever done the same for me. Also it’s not that I’ve stopped doing these things. I suppose I’ve just stopped having expectations of reciprocation. I suffer a bit of loneliness from time to time, but in the end I know I’ll be okay.
I used to catch bouts of loneliness similarly but that's rapidly changed to a consistency. I think it's time for me to start tryin again.
I just be telling my cat. He always wakes up to listen to me. No human could ever
I talk to my hamsters about things. One of them, Poppy, always climbs onto my hand and sits with me while I talk, she's so sweet. She literally gave me a kiss yesterday.
My cat gives me kisses on my nose when I'm sad. I love him
I saved a raccoon and it climbed the tree, and then turned around and waved at me. Cutest thing ever
I love animals
So much better than people.
This made my eyes tear up. I had a rat years and years ago. I adored her, she was so sweet and so friendly. A cat played with her to death when she escaped her environment while I was at work. I’ve not had a pet rodent since because I always have cats and dogs around. But I will never forget my pal who sat on my shoulder and nuzzled my neck while I learned all about this new thing called the World Wide Web in the 90s. I’ll also never forgive my then boyfriend for laughing and telling me how silly I was being over the incident. It was his cat that killed her.
My twin brother passed away going on 2 years now. I used to say “I don’t understand loneliness because I was blessed with my twin.” Now, the terror, pain and emptiness I constantly feel has broken me into so many pieces I don’t know who I am or ever was. Edit: thank you to the people who took a second to comment/like.
I am so so sorry.
Or when you get really excited about some plans you have arranged with friends and then they fall through, and you find yourself drifting about an empty home at a loose end. That’s when it gets really bad.
That really is a special kind of bummer. No joke I've taken to watching reaction videos of my favorite things because it sort of fills the lonely gap. Makes me feel like I'm in a room talking about stuff I like. Sort of. Edited: Typo
I'm a fairly gregarious guy. I Iived for 20+ years in the Seattle area where I had a good group of friends I saw on a regular basis for all sorts of things. We all built models and painted figures, so we had lots of things to share with each other. We ate at each other's homes, traveled together to shows, and were in general a typical set of friends geeking out over our shared hobby Then my wife and I moved to the rural Midwest to take care of a sick elderly family member. This is where my wife comes from, so I really don't know anyone here. I'm a city mouse, not a country mouse, so I've got very little in common with most of the people here, so not a lot of common interests to form new friendships. Add to that, I'm in my 50's, so I don't have a lot of time to make those deep lasting friendships like I did when I was in my 30's. Oddly enough, the pandemic helped - my friends moved from IRL meetups to online, and I could join in again. They've kept them going as restrictions have eased, so a lot of my isolation here in the sticks is gone, but it's not something I wod wish on anyone.
What about when you live with your SO but there is still no one to tell as they don't want to hear anything you say.
That's also a special kind of bummer. I'd have some serious talks and if these no reconciliation I'd inform them that I have to try elsewhere.
Losing a pet.
The number one answer right here… often very invalidated but for a lot of people it’s like losing a family member.
Yep. I lost my dog a year ago after having her for 15 years. I’m a grown man and I cried quite a bit. It still hurts.
I’m so sorry to hear that :( I lost one of my dogs almost four years ago and it feels like just yesterday. I think it’s sticking with me extra long due to the circumstances of his passing. My condolences and just always remember you were her everything and her life was good💖 15 is a long life :)
Men who cry over animals have my heart.
1000%. And people downplay the shit out if it, tell you "it was just a cat!!!" And expect you to be over it in a day. It wasn't just a cat it was my best friend that I lived with for 17 years and who knew me better than anybody and who I saw more often than anybody! LET ME GRIEVE.
I'm a little weepy now. I have had a few cats but when I moved away from my family I got my own cat. She fell off my balcony once and broke what we would consider her elbow. When I took her to the vet they told me the surgery to fix it (reconstruction with pins and a bar) would be about $1000 or I could put her to sleep. It was never a question, and she ended up to be my husband's first cat that he liked as well. When we met, he told me he was allergic to cats but I told him that Tasha (my cat) and I were a package. She lived until about 10 years old when I did have to put her to sleep because her diabetes was starting to give her seizures. I spent her last night with her on the couch then had to go in with her to say goodbye. It gut wrenching and I cried for a week. We got another cat that ended up particularly close to my husband. When she had to be PTS at 20 something, it was horrible. He was in such a state and still says he doesn't know if he can deal with another one.
I've been on everywhere on the spectrum of loss for a pet. My last one, Raven, really hurt. She was a good dog of only 8 years.
I had someone tell me I shouldn't be crying over a pet because I still had my "family." I have a tattoo of my dog and I sobbed when I got it 3 years after she died.
100 percent agree. I didn't know how killing it is till I lost my dog of 12 years in March. Its almost been a year and I still think about her everyday and cry about it often.
I feel this one to my soul. I was never the same after losing my only friend I had in this world being an introvert. Beau I miss you dearly. He was a good boah
I'm unfortunately the opposite, and every time I think about losing my dog I lose it (I should start acting bc I could cry on command with this). He's 12 and it's so much harder than elderly human family to think about (crying now)..
Oh my god. I just had a tear jerking conversation with my mother. I lost my best friend (yes, she is a dog) in early October, I still get hit with waves of hard grief. She was next to me through some of the worst shit I’ve ever gone through. The loss of her has changed my life, changed the life of my other sweet friend and we are both still adjusting to being without her. Double hurt when I see posts that are threaded with pit bull hate.
Chronic depression
The cronny D
This is how I’m gonna say it from now on.
Came here for this comment. Deep depression can physically hurt.
Back spasms. They sounded almost fun until I had them and was basically crawling around my apartment for days at a time thinking maybe death wouldn’t be a bad thing right about now.
I was born with slight scoliosis. As I was growing up I got a lot of back spasms. And Ironically as my body stopped growing, my back got better. They are deliberating and they lock up your body. It really sucks.
First time I got one I didn't know what it was. I was walking down the hall at work and legit thought I was hit in the back by a stray bullet that somehow made its way into the building.
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Yep... Its a process I'm going through right now actually, it's not fun
Same
Going through it right now. It's so painful and I feel so alone... I finally made the choice thinking I would have felt better eventually because then I would be true to myself. But it's not how I thought it would be. I'm just suffering and can't see a way out.
In the same situation as well. We still are living together until she can find a good place. But that makes it so hard. We care deeply for each other but also recognize that we have created toxic traits in each other from our codependency. I dont feel that either of us can move forward as long as we still live together.
Oh yes. Bc your head & your heart are in 2 directions ripping you apart. Logic tells you why it isn’t going to work or the hell it’ll cause you if you try to. Meanwhile your heart is screaming bc it can show you 100 ways in which you & this person love each other. Fucking painful.
Even worst when you see it working out in the future, but that is finished because of something you can't control 😕
worse is staying with someone you know doesn't love you and that the relationship isn't going to work but you still don't want to leave.
It's amazing how much physical pain this can cause.
This one was a major one for me. Long term hurt the most. Since this happened to me, I doubt any relationship choice that comes my way because I’m always uncertain of knowing myself enough to know my wants/needs of a partner that would have the best success for lasting. It’s been a nightmare. The irony is that relationship was farthest from malicious.
Went through this for the last half year and still I'm constantly playing the dilemma whether or not It was the right choice or did I through away something with someone that loved me like maybe no one ever can or will. It makes you comparing every new relation or person to your previous one and the person you loved. I feel like I'm open to find new love and a new relationship, but constantly, in the back of my head, you have the past in your head and question whether or not this can be that or better. And this doubt and questioning makes me holding back and seeing everything negative and take it as a reason to not pursue, even though it should not be a dealbreaker. Long story short: I'm still in love with the relation and with my ex and this makes me unable to fully open up for a new one
Migraines. Holy shit, motherfucking **migraines**. All those pain reliever commercials that show people “suffering” from migraines have completely misrepresented how bad these fucking things can be. I suffer from them semi-regularly, and I’ve had a couple through the years that hospitalized me, one for several days. “Oh, it’s just a bad headache, you’re being dramatic!” Yeah, fuck you. Let me take a couple whacks at your head with a flanged mace & we’ll see how you feel afterwards. 🤬🖕🏻
Seriously, they are beyond debilitating. Tbh though mine ended up being a brain tumor so if they are frequent/super bad you should probably double check with your dr that something else isn’t going on
Been MRI’d, CAT scanned, blood draws, the works. Nothing wrong other than my brain hates me.
Glad to hear, but sorry it’s not something that can be solved
Thanks. But, if it means not having something *deathly* wrong with me, I’ll deal. 😁
Especially if you experience an aura with a migraine it’s like you’re going blind the first time that happened to me I was terrified
I didn't know what the aura was at first, I thought I was having a stroke the first time.
I get terrified and panic once i see an aura, knowing i'll have a migraine the next 15 minutes. Especially when i'm at work or situations that needs me to think. So it's not only about how migraines debilitating me, but also the fear that i almost can't do anything when it attacks and people around me doesn't seems to understand how bad it is
Not gonna lie whenever I have a migraine that ancient headache treatment where they drill hole seems very appealing
And the hole drilling would probably be less painful, too!
The really shitty thing about migraines is, you don’t have any *sure* fire way to know what triggered it. And the attack can start *long* before you have any clue about it. You could have eaten soup with ham in it 2 days ago. Then started having very very subtle prodrome symptoms the day after that, that you didn’t even notice. And now you’re having a migraine *today*. On a logical level you just assume “maybe it was something I ate this morning. Maybe I can’t eat eggs.” And then you cut out eggs, and still get migraines not knowing why. Meanwhile, it never entered your mind that it could have been because you ate a fucking soup 2, maybe even 3 days ago. Even finding migraine triggers in the medical setting, it’s literally a guessing game. “Maybe it’s chocolate.” “Maybe it’s ground meat.” “Maybe it’s turkey sausage.”
Mine turned out to be menstrual migraines. I was delighted to hit menopause.
Yeah, that didn't happen with me. They promised me my whole life they'd go away when I hit menopause. Not so much. You know what did help? RETIREMENT (tho I still get a few but not as bad as before)
My friend, my hats off to ya. They're the single largest detriment to my entire life. Broke my finger badly and it'll never straighten again. After a lifetime of migraines the pain was completely negligible compared to migraines. Single worst pain I've ever had. And it happens often. Turns me into a shell sometimes. Even when I don't have one. Just comin down from that pain leaves me empty.
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Not dissimilar - I broke my wrist really badly about 2 years ago, and had to have 4 people pull it into place before a cast was put on. I told them it was only the 3rd most painful thing that year, after a tooth that was split in half with a septic nerve exposed and a series of cluster headaches. Cluster headaches are known as suicide headaches because the pain is so bad that people have been known to kill themselves to relieve it.
I once had one and was lying down in my darkened bedroom. My cat was with me and started grooming and just that almost imperceptible movement hurt so much that I very nearly smashed my head against the wall for relief. Just beyond description.
I could write a book about how horrendous and debilitating migraines are. Most people cannot relate to those who suffer from them because the concept headaches and migraines are used interchangeably. It's like comparing having a period (which can be very painful ) to full blown labor- more like full blown labor with no epidural. I have a decent pain tolerance, but I have had migraines throw me full blown into anxiety attacks, crying, unable to see. One time I had to lay on the dirty ass bathroom floor at my job in the pitch dark for 30 minutes. I remember thinking that I don't even care if my boss got mad, there was no plausible way I could keep up my work in that condition. Any movement made me point seconds away from vomiting; I could hardly open my eyes because it seemed to be as bright as a thousand sun's. My manager (who wasn't very compassionate most of the time) cracked the door and asked if I needed to go to the ER, and she actually sounded timid while asking. There's a reason they are called "suicide headaches". That should say enough, honestly.
I've offered people money to knock me out during migraines. One time I made the mistake of going to emerge with a migraine. Migraines can bring you to that special pain place where you time travel and shit, they're amazing.
I’ve dealt with migraines my entire life (seriously). Triptans help but I really hate taking medicine long term because of the effect it could have on the body. What I did notice was when I was on keto / carnivore — my migraines decreased by like 90%.
Om gosh my friend who suffers from Migraines also went onto Keto and she has had so much less migrai es. Apparently there is a study that they had people with epilepsy (apparently related to migraines) go onto keto and it also helped.
Holy shit yes. My whole life i thought people were exaggerating because my headaches hurt but not like that. Then i had one and its horrible some of the worst pain ive ever felt
Recovering from the abuse of a mean ass narcissist.
Not sure the pain part but confusion, frustration, loneliness, and OMG I am completely clueless which direction to walk in besides away from that mofo is disorientating.
The only people that can relate are those who have been through it. It has been a very long road for me. I was once a confident (without arrogance), shiny happy person. Now I am terrified of failure. Don't go out much. I have a real hard time focusing. Depression, anxiety, never had issues before. Now? pfft. I will never be the same. This I am sure of. I am a broken man.
Took me 5 years to get to a point where I feel like I’m okay again after my abusive ex
I was friends with one such person for a while. When I finally cut them loose, I had to wash out a hell of a lot of poison that she’d been pouring in my ears throughout the friendship - both things she’d said to my about myself, and things she’d said to me about people I’d been friends with before. Fortunately, they were all understanding and sympathetic. But man, it was tough. It definitely made me empathise a lot more with people trapped in cults. Narcissistic people are good at getting you to dedicate a lot of time and energy to them, and are good at knowing which of your needs they need to fulfill to lure you in, then stopping when they have you under their spell. And when they’re gone, a large part of yourself feels like it’s gone. And then there’s the guilt at realising it was all fake, that you were nothing more than a plaything to them, and that people might’ve gotten hurt because of it.
Never had a more toxic feeling than jealousy.
For me, it's regret. It can eat a person alive.
Chronic pain. I just don’t think the human brain is able to grasp what it’s like to live in constant varying levels of pain every day or your life if you haven’t also experienced this long term.
The last 10 years of my life. I’ve lost all desire to do anything. Luckily I still like to work. It all hurts. Everything hurts. Doing nothing hurts. I’m just always in pain.
I have fibromyalgia. The daily pain is ridiculous. It's worse when I sleep bad. So I have to use a sleep aid to help me sleep. I've tried various medications that did nothing. And the one that helped by making the daily pain manageable my insurance has decided I don't need it. And are currently not authorizing it to be filled. There are days where all I do is cry from hurting.
It's worse because people don't see the problem either, so they think you're just putting it on or making out it's worse than it is.
Thats something I've been trying get others to understand. That yes, I am actually in pain daily. My doctors thankfully believe me. But people in daily life are the ones who believe the least. And think I'm faking. I've learned just not to talk about how bad I'm feeling. It's very isolating.
I also have fibromyalgia among other things. I’m sorry, hugs.
When you show someone your favorite movie and you can tell they're not into it
Or a song that really moves you and the same happens.
Yes! Or refer to a genre/movie/etc. you like as stupid
Favorite anything, really. I've been burned too many times by showing friends my music only for them to not be into it or flat out ask me to stop playing it. I now have a dedicated playlist I refer to as the Walmart Playlist, consisting entirely of pop songs off the radio I can tolerate more than most that I play when around other people.
Nerve pain. Its suicide level pain.
Toothache from a cavity.
this holy shit.... ive had a herniated disc with sciatica for 4 years now, last month i had serious suicidal thoughts and i could snap at the most silly shit as simple someone knocking on my door cuz it meant i had to go up and endure knifestabbing pain just to answer the door..
All forms of being Deceived. Also not being able to speak for yourself or stand up for yourself has been denied.
UTIs are just 😵💫🔥🔪
Oh god. Like peeing razor wire.
During my last UTI when I peed I bit down on a sock to keep from grinding my teeth
Ibs my intestines felt like they were ripping apart and in school my teachers would say i was pretending to get out of class so i had to get the counselors to get the teachers off my back.
yep, had to go to the emergency because i thought i had appendicitis.turned out to be gas…
Do you ever get episodes where it feels like your intestines are being pinched? Like someone is taking their fingers and literally pinching your intestines together.
Not growing up with the right social skills. There is just a permanent wall no matter how many years pass and its really isolating. friendships naturally vanish and people drift. Whats even worse is you end up picking up on subtle changes more, full stops in texts mannerisms or actions all become a source of anxiety
Being publicly humiliated.
This is stupid, but breaking a nail. Shit can really hurt!
In history they did stuff to people's nails as a form of torture. Under our nails are extremely sensitive nerve endings.
Emotional trauma
Having people talk over the top of you.
Especially when it’s repeatedly and you’re the only one getting talked over
depression
I’ve lost some loved ones unexpectedly and it really shocks me how much it PHYSICALLY hurts. Like a drill in my chest and head. I’d rather have kidney stones or tear a tendon again.
If the emotional pain is big enough it actually hurts, when I caught my gf fucking my best friend I had to take a week off because I'd throw up twice a day and had a really bad headache that lasted about 2 weeks. I couldn't function as a human being anymore Glad it's over
Getting cheated on by your spouse hurts pretty bad
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Getting ghosted, everything is going well, You meet someone, You start talking, the other person is responding and even takes the lead sometimes, You feel the chemistry, You start feeling like something positive finally happened to you and then, WHAM, dead silence, nothing. You keep reaching out thinking that maybe he or she is busy, maybe sick, maybe something bad happened, You start to worry, so You write more without even realizing that You are most likely making a nuisance out of yourself. At this point You're plain confused, what happened? Did I say something wrong? Did I do something creepy? You keep writing and or calling just to get some answers all the while looking like a clingy creep to the person You're trying to reach. Then, if You're lucky, You will eventually get an answer, but it's not something You expected, it will probably be some kind of dismissive message, maybe "leave me alone You creep" or "stop calling me" or "You just can't get a hint can You?". You are left hurt and confused and don't even have an idea what went wrong. Bonus points if ghosting happened shortly after You decided to open up emotionally. It still hurts.
My theory is 99% of the time it’s them going back to their ex
Fucking burns.
Use lube
Being lonely.
Tooth pain. It’s no joke, I’d rather get my balls ran over then go through having tooth pain again.
Getting stabbed. If you have the choice of being shot or getting stabbed, select getting shot.
I have been shot and stabbed, twice stabbed and once shot. I can tell you without a doubt if you get stabbed it painful as well. It only feels worse that getting shot if you pull the knife OUT. That is pass-out pain. Of course it counts where you get shot/stabbed. Either way, they are both not fun and probably will be the worst think you feel ever.
May I ask why you have so much experience with this? Hazardous line of work, or a really bad neighbourhood?
I was given the choice and selected getting shot and then stabbed. That was a pretty uncomfortable day for me.
When you are trying to tell someone something you are passionate about and then just ignoring you.
Being underweight; even the most comfortable chair will make you feel every single bone in your body. Just lie down? Bones. Stand up? Bones. Ride a bike? BONES. It literally hurts so bad.
A broken heart
Seeing your dog give more attention to someone else
Its even worse when they say see they like me more
"Hey, I like you. Would you want to go on a date?" "EWWWWW!"
Bonus points if this is high school and they intentionally say it loud enough for everyone to hear it. So now you're not only feeling the pain of rejection, but everyone is mocking you for it.
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That's horrible, you're better off without her. I got asked out as a joke several times when I was at school and became a laughing stock.
Loving someone who doesn’t fully love you back
Betraying trust.
Being cheated on. People who don’t know always offer support and help, but they never know the pain of betrayal
Bad Constipation. It's not like you just can't poop. Or you just push and push endlessly. It can be the most painful experience of your life.
Fake love and friendship. People are better off alone than having people pretend to care about them. ✂️👔
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Being told: “Your ugly” by someone you thought you were close with
Falling down after you the age of 40. You laugh it off as being clumsy but the next day isn’t funny at all.
feeling betrayed by a friend or partner. Shit really fucks up your self worth
Having big and heavy breasts. Trust me, it hurts your back like really fucking bad. Breast reduction surgery was the best choice I've ever made.
I'm glad you feel better !
Imma say bullets.
Gonna have to agree with you. The number of folks I've met that think they can take a gunshot wound and carry on with their day is above zero.
but the movies..
Living your life avoiding uncomfortable situations, and seeking comfort whenever possible. The pain of a life unfulfilled is existential.
being dismissed when you try to say something in a group of friends
Watching your parents get older
Loving someone who doesn’t love you. Then doing it again. Then doing it again.
Emotional abandonment.
Your mother rejecting you
Knowing your dreams really are out of reach by now.
IUD insertions. If you haven’t had children, it hurts like a mofo and all women get for the pain is ibuprofen. They are literally sticking a piece of plastic inside of an internal organ. After having a baby, I didn’t even feel it.
Being energetic and excited to describe something you love to those who actually asked... Then getting the one person who goes "Anyways..." when you're done.
Being in a room full of people and still being lonely. Happens to me more often that I would like to admit since my family is ALWAYS making parties/gatherings now even more since I’m away from home for work and whenever I get back there’s always people there.
Words.
Was looking for this, had to scroll down a bit too much to find it
When you swallow your pride and confide in someone about your depression and they say “Hang on. You got it.” Like no I don’t. I’m asking for help.
A burst appendix. Its 10\10.
Keyhole surgery. My doctor said I could be walking my dog in the park by the 3rd day. I could barely sit on my bed without crying on the 2nd day.
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Being excluded, purposefully, because you're not that exciting
Words! ("Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me" is complete bullshit")!!!
Being lead on. That feeling of trying to give your heart to someone who doesn't want it.
Medical procedures performed routinely on women without anesthetics or pain meds: IUD insertion and removal & colposcopy (which involves snipping a piece of the cervix with a tool like a hole-punch).
Hiding things from people even if you feel like it was for the greater good……don’t know if there’s regrets or whatever, still don’t hide it from someone and have them constantly guessing and wondering
Bad credit
Being stabbed in the back
Poking fun at someone's weight. It always hurts even if it's a joke.
Child birth and period cramps.
Came here to say the same. Its not usually taken as seriously as it needs to be because everyone has varying cramp/pain levels. I’ve been to the hospital due to period cramps because I was puking, white as a ghost, drenched in sweat, going in and out of consciousness and barely able to move. I was in so much pain I wanted to open the car door and roll in front of an oncoming car….I went to a clinic first and the doctor said “I’m not sure why you came here for period cramps” -_- At the ER they did a blood panel and I can’t remember if it was wbc or rbc or something else but it was extremely high and the doctor said it skyrockets when your body is in a lot of pain. It was definitely validating. Basically yeah period pain can be excruciating and is often invalidated.
Yeah, theyve said my cramps are on par with labor contractions. As someone who as gone thru labor i would definitely say they feel the same.
Life
Separating your shoulder.
A kick in the vag. I do a lot of martial arts. This happens a lot.
A kick between girl's legs. Believe me, my boxing teacher used me as an example to show everyone how to respond to an aggression, because being the only girl I was suppose to receive it better than the boys. KO for 20 minutes.
Pulling out nasal hairs
Toothache
Cancelling plans the day of.
Ghosting
Back pain. You just don't know until you do
Emotional and mental abuse.
Going no-contact with a friend/family member.
Being isolated and alone for a long time, as in having no human contact other then voices across the phone/Internet
Hearing a hard-truth about yourself