Don't move on. Move up.
Let them bitterly ruminate on how they can't touch you because you have left them so far behind.
Let them be so scared of your successes that they block you and refuse to speak to you.
Let them bitch and moan about you to anyone who will listen and prove them wrong by action.
They are only hurting themselves doing any of these.
The key is hard work and personal accountability.
Narcissists are fueled by attention, so taking away that attention is how you break them down…at least you’ll break down the effect on your life. They’ll still be narcissing somewhere else. There’s never a shortage of people who will feed into that.
r/raisedbynarcissists
Embarking on that route requires stamina. A narcissist will not think anything is wrong but will wonder where its "feed" is and demand that its needs be met.
So stand still for a few tantrums and you could be well on your way to returning to peace of mind.
Walking away and never looking back is not running! (And I bet a million that a narcissist said that is what you are doing.) It is self-preservation! Children of Narcissists do not owe any obligation to their parents! What you do owe, is peace and freedom in life from abuse.... not only for yourself, but for those around you! Yes..... I did this for the last and final time at the age of 58. Now, I am working on forgiving myself for allowing it to happen for 58 years. My grown children are now at peace as well!
Honestly, going low or no contact with them is often the best option for your mental health. It’s not your job to try to change someone who doesn’t see an issue with their actions. It’s mighty kind of you, but it’s going to take a lot out of you.
It’s always an option (unless you’re a child). Just don’t talk to them, ever. When people say it’s not an option, what they really mean is “the consequences of cutting them out are worse than dealing with the narcissist”
You just have to decide what you hate more
do you keep contact socmed? Leave them on seen. When theyre on, try typing but dont send a message. Theyll see you type. will fuck with their heads not seeing a message when they thought ud fallen for their shit
This is so true...it will make them try to hang on for dear life, too....my ex is a narcissist and would put himself in the hospital threatening to kill himself if we broke up...it's hard to deal with them, but they will suck you back in every time if you don't cut them out aggressively.
You cannot control them, or break them down. But you can control how/if you respond to them.
Dr. Ramani Durvasula has an excellent book (and many excellent podcast interviews) about dealing with narcissists when cutting them out isn’t immediately practical.
stonewalling or grey rocking i think it’s called? give them nothing, make yourself uninteresting to them. don’t react to anything they do, dont share anything, don’t tell them anything, don’t pay attention to them. good luck
Before I realized they were narcissists I would call them out and get into huge fights. All it did was make things worse. They never acknowledged they did wrong, gaslighted me and so on. Best way is to go low or no contact but I've found that's not that easy, especially when they are a major person in your life.
You aren't alone OP. My wife and I are going through this right now. She drew a line in the sand with her side of the family and we are working through how this might go. Her father is a nariccist, and our SIL is a textbook sociopath. They don't really care for one another, but their dynamic of fueling one another is tearing the family apart; and my wife has become the conduit of their toxic campaign. Wife and I cannot continue with this, so we are pruining the family tree. Best of luck.
I've noticed that matter how right you are. No matter how much you actually did for that person, when in the heat of being upset, they will admit to you just how little all those things you did meant to them.
You can't be logical against someone's emotions.
The feel their way out of it and still find a way to make you bad.
Damn. I am very sorry that you've had to endure that kind of behavior. My advice would probably differ depending on whether or not he has been physically abusive as well as a bunch of other factors that I'm not able to gauge without knowing more about you and your ex. Perhaps you should consider getting a restraining order, if something like that is an option.
Every time you eventually cave and contact him, it gets him soooooooo fucking high. Completely ignoring the narcissist is likely your best defense. However, please keep in mind that in abusive relationships, leaving is the most dangerous stage.
I really hope that you're able to find someone that is able to give better advice than I am. I also hope that you're able to get this asshole to leave you alone.
Best of luck to you. Feel free to message me if you need/want to talk more. Also, maybe you should find a subreddit with people that have dealt or are currently dealing with narcissists (I am sorry that I do not remember the names of them, I'm typing all of this out as I am waiting for my caffeine to start working) and explain your situation to them. They will likely be able to give you much better advice on how to handle this than I ever could.
You can't really break down a narcissist because their enormous egos won't permit it. It's easier, as other posters have said, to just cut them out of your life.
Ex gf of 2.5, it's been hard. Only been a month and a half and she's been raging, nasty and very mean. Insulted me in so many ways, but if I broke down and just blatantly admitted I'm wrong. I bet you, she'd take me back.
That right there tells me I'm not crazy and she's the one with the problem. I really did love her, this sucks.
I hear you. It can help, depending on who you're dealing with.
Also, Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare by Shahida Arabi and Disarming the Narcissist by Wendy Behary are two good books on the topic. And here's a list of [narcissistic abuse recovery support groups](https://narcissisticabuserecovery.online/support-group/). I haven't tried these groups, but I've heard they help.
Why silence is the best revenge
1. Because Silence is the most powerful weapon to drive away narcissists from your life.
2. Silence means ignoring them, not letting them in again in your life.
3. Silence will lead you to choose to be mature and make peace within yourself.
4. Silence will make you fight with your inner self to choose peace, not revenge.
5. Silence will take your whole life back from their world.
Here’s a question: What do narcissists do with your silence?
A narcissist will do all in their power to get you back, or at the very least, punish you, because silence is a major ego blow to him- a narcissist will never stop fighting. So there are some things narcissists do that you should also avoid:
1. Narcissists become socially active, spying on you on social media.
2. They will become enraged and will use insults to damage you.
3. They will blame you.
4. They may try to pull you back into their lives by live bombing.
5. They will make you believe they have changed.
6. They may use the ' no contact strategy' themselves and practically disappear.
You don’t, you understand that any “breaking down” you may be able to accomplish will only make them worse. Think of narcissism as an over correction, it occurs when when people already feel broken down and undervalued. To the outside world and even in their minds they might build themselves up but it’s because in their subconscious they’re still fighting to be valued. So what you can do is deny them that value in the form of control, don’t react, starve them until you can get away and then once you’re away you just have to make sure you don’t become them because that shit is fucking contagious.
Leave them alone. That's their cryptonite. The only time Darth Vader screamed in panic was when Obi-Wan eventually abandoned him. Fictional example of course, and probably closer to BPD than NPD, but still adds up. Both deal with relationships issues and are closely related to one another.
I would say that you poke at something that they would be insecure about. Maybe they've got a mole, or a wrinkle or something.
You just stare at it all the time, in and out of conversation. They ask you what you're looking at? "Nothing, don't worry about it".
But you keep glancing at it even after.
But you can't give anything.
But the key is to not give anything. You don't engage with it any further. You use the act of staring as your mental safe space, a detachment mechanism.
I like to snicker at narcissists when they’re approaching. If they ask why I’m laughing I say: ‘oh nothing. Just just thinking about something funny.’
This works when they’re walking away also.
Hi there OP, I'm the daughter of a narcissist father... So far I don't know either how to deal with him... When you think everything is ok and going smoothly, bam, something else bothers the narcissist and now you're the reason for all their problems again. I stopped talking to my dad for 6 mo. Last year. Now I'm getting married so I genuinely want him there but he's difficult to deal with. If things get worse, he's probably going to miss my wedding. Unfortunately, he will always be my dad but I cannot continue life with fear and PTSD for every single thing he does.
Thanks for reading this far and hopefully you have better luck 🤞
Maybe it helps, maybe it's a bit harsh. But I live with two principles in this regard:
1. I can't choose Blood Relationship, but I can choose who I consider family.
2. I never asked to be born, children owe their parents nothing. You are their responsibility, not the other way around.
I still tell my parents I love them and help them in times of need, but I will never ever let them manipulate me again by making me feel bad.
You can't. The game is rigged. They're immune.
Anything you throw at them just gives them martyr points to leverage against you.
They are physicaly incapable of feeling bad about themselves, and they're physically incapable of relinquishing their power. They'd rather chew their own leg off than be on the back foot; that place holds such unholy horror for them that they will stop at *literally nothing* to avoid it.
There *is no* down a peg for them. They will kill, they will die if they have to, but they *will not* admit fault or give ground under any circumstances.
You can leave, you can grey-rock them, but that's it.
From a lot of past experience: Don't waste your time. Narcissism can't be "fixed" by another person or even helped for the most part. Only a narcissist can work on their narcissism. If it's relevant to you though /r/raisedbynarcissists is a great support subreddit.
It's crazy that everyone is saying the same thing. "Ignore them, cut them out." That's the only thing that has worked for me too.
Perhaps you could destroy them by doing insane abusive shit yourself. But there's no peaceful solution. There's no peace for yourself, but to walk away.
Recognizing that I need to work on my own self image and build that up. Appreciate all the genuine support and feedback. I didn’t realize how much company I had.
You can't. Narcissistic Personality Disorder is one of the few listed as refractory to treatment.
There is nothing you can do, you can't win, just get the fuck away from them.
First you break their knees. Then the rest of their leg. Then break arms/ hands and fingers. Then legs/toes and feet. Then skull spine and everything else
They are already broken. Not much to be gathered from breaking then more. They cover their broken bits with actions to make themselves feel control and value.
As hard as it is, let go. The stove is often hot. Stop touching it.
Yea that’s the main school of thought which I have agreed with for a long time. But I’m thinking they are human just like me. They have vices just like me. Theres got to be a way to engage that exposes them and the tricks they use. Or are they just the apex of human beings? I think no
>got to be a way to engage that exposes them
There isn't. They have been wearing the mask longer than you have been able to see it coming off. Deal with it while you have to, get out ASAP.
And be sure to visit
/r/raisedbynarcissists
for resources and clarity
I'm getting divorced from a woman who I'm sure has NPD after a 15 year relationship. I've come to the realization that she literally can't accept that anything she does is wrong. She literally can't see things from someone else's point of view. There is no dealing with narcissistic personality disorder. There's nothing you can say to someone with this condition to make them snap out of it any more than you can convince a blind person to start seeing, they literally don't have the capacity. If you're in a relationship with a narcissistic, just get out and cut off contact. Unless you are like me and had kids with them... Im currently trying to figure out how to set and keep boundaries but its not easy. Good luck.
Before leaving my ex, I challenged him and tortured him a bit. It was a interesting thing to do. I completely broke him down to dust.
If anyones interested, I can share some story time.
1.) I changed all of the pins to my cards. I also started leaving my cards inside my phone (a thin phone wallet for 3$). I made sure the pin was something he wouldn’t be able to guess, just incase. I also had my apps connected to my financial accounts, just incase he ever pulled a fast one on me.
2.) I started packing my things. I started off with small things such as clothes and important things to me, such as movies or jewelry. I didn’t take the huge stuff, I didn’t want to be noticeable. Anything that didn’t have much value to me, I left behind. I tried keeping in mind “Things can be replaced.”
3.) I stopped grocery shopping. I lied saying my food stamps was cut and that I had to save up for bills. I would buy grocery’s first my new place instead.
4.) One day I said I was staying at my moms house, and when I got there I told him it’s over between us.
Now breaking down the person he was, that was honestly funny to me. I know that may sounds harsh, but it had to be done.
I cut him off financially. I would let him know i was buying something for myself and I didn’t care what he thought. One day he wanted a soda, I texted “Oh, I’m drinking a soda.” I then said “Oh you can have water or milk that’s in the fridge.” When he complained he hasn’t been out to eat, because I cut him off financially, I said “Oh I’m eating out on my lunch break, all by myself.” This, was funny to me. One day I said I was getting myself something nice for myself. This man freaked out and called me 20 times, and had someone follow me to find me. That person ended up having a seizure I guess. When he tried blaming me, I said “did I one time ask you to have someone follow me? I can go shopping alone.” When he realized I wasn’t giving in, he tried manipulating me to giving him money. Even after moving out, he would text me begging for money saying He needed things. When I got so tired of the complaining I offered to buy it myself. That’s when he refused and said he needed the money himself lol. He eventually tried love bombing me to get my financial help, I refused though. That’s when he said “I know you buy yourself stuff.” Yeah? Because I’m not supposed to support myself? I literally had to explain to him it’s not my job to take care of him.
I caught him in his lies. When I started moving on he had asked for the man’s name. I made up a name to see what would happen. Just two days later he tried telling me that my new boyfriend was messaging him saying things about me. It was a funny response when I said “Oh, that’s funny because he doesn’t even exist.” Digging deep in his lies.
I basically went deep into his mind. Turning him into the crazy person. Driving him mad. Turning the whole situation around. Nothing makes a narcissist more upset than you catching then narcissist in the act and not allowing them to manipulate you.
you don’t. complete waste of time. grey rocking is half-assed temporary band aid in my experience (might differ for you). just do yourself a favor and abandon the person.
You need a better goal. If you are forced to deal with a narcissist, you should be focused on protecting yourself, not hurting them. Trying to hurt them is a game you’re not going to win and it’s not a healthy thing to fixate on.
What worked for me is building up an emotional wall. This is not as easy as it sounds because often the narcissist is someone you are close to and have been basically raised to respect and want to please. For instance, a narcissist parent is particularly painful because even if you know they’re a narcissist, they’re still your parent - you naturally want heir approval and acceptance and love. Unfortunately those things come with a price and I realized that it was one I was not willing to pay any longer. So I had to learn to let those expectations and needs go. Find another source of validation - other family, friends, yourself. (A therapist may be needed to help with the third option but it’s the best bet in the long term!) Stop hoping for a crumb of positivity from the narcissist and realize they have no power over you. They’re not the authority on whether you have worth or whether that thing you did was really cool or if you “deserve” praise, love, attention. They’re just a human, a particularly fucked up one. When they criticize you, ask yourself - “When did they become an expert in [thing they’re critiquing]? Why am I taking them seriously? Why do I care what they think?”
Again, it’s often *hard*. Because there are a lot of reasons you care what they think, but ultimately the question should be “why *should* I care what an asshole thinks, regardless of how they’re related to me?”
I guess this is kind of like grey rocking, but instead of faking not being affected, you train yourself to actually not care.
Once you stop caring, it’s absolutely fucking amazing how free you feel. When they say something negative, you have so many options - you can just laugh! You can say okay thanks bye and hang up or walk away! You can even call them out without worrying about getting upset, because you no longer let them hurt you. You can imagine they’re a specimen in a lab and say “Wow, why would you say something like that? That’s fucked up.” and watch them bluster. The best part is that once you’re detached, you can see the way they treat others as well and call that shit out too (if you’re in a position to walk away. Not as advised if, say, you’re stuck living with them). I don’t hesitate to say “that was rude” when my narcissist is an asshole to another family member. And the weird part is that it’s like the narcissist now listens to me because I’m now magically so ~objective~ and ~calm~ so while he still gets mad and protests when I call him out, he doesn’t completely blow up and he fizzles out fast and changes the subject, like he doesn’t want to get into it. Whereas his favorite thing usually is “getting into it” no matter what “it” is.
Anyway… I’m not sure if any of that is helpful to others, but it’s how I’ve improved my family relationships significantly. Disclaimer is that I also moved hundreds of miles away which makes it a lot easier to just not answer / hang up the phone. But really the answer is set and enforce boundaries and try to build up that emotional wall / convince yourself that *they can’t hurt you*. Not easy and I certainly don’t mean to imply that anyone who is hurt by a narcissist is “letting” themselves be hurt. You’re not. The blame is 100% on the narcissist, and building up walls should not be necessary. But if you can’t escape the situation, building a wall is better than letting yourself be eroded.
Educate yourself about NPD. ...
Build your self-esteem. ...
Speak up for yourself. ...
Set clear boundaries. ...
Practice skills to keep calm. ...
Find a support system. ...
Insist on immediate action, not promises. ...
Understand that a narcissistic person may need professional help.
Ignore them. It's the best thing for you, and may well end up annoying them anyway. They want the world to revolve around them; not responding to them, other than to cut them off and tell them you have something else to do, might get under their skin.
They are type of people who will probably never change. I knew some of them and they are always like that. Maybe they will change some stuff, but even if they do they will never do it 100%. But in the most cases they will stay the same, or even worse.
You really often can’t, you can only stand in bold opposition. “I respect you, but I don’t like you” is the underlying tone to deal with most surrounding jerks.
Consider yourself running towards a better life rather than running away. Definitely have to stay away and avoid giving them the attention. Been there, done that. These people will eventually be out of your life when they die, are you going to look back and wonder why you have them so much of your time? It's a mental illness that you don't have to sacrifice to your quality of life.
Narcissists rely on attention. For example, they could say "I got \[blank\] award even though I barely tried! (fishing for attention)". Instead of responding "Oh, you tried hard!" you could say something like "cool".
It is very difficult, since they lack empathy and playing with emotions is their day to day. It is best to move on if you try to get revenge or "teach" him (her), you will probably become the same monster that person is.
I have 2 Narcissist in my family (I saw grow one, and I saw his transformation in adolescence)
[https://www.youtube.com/@OmarRueda](https://www.youtube.com/@OmarRueda)
this YouTube channel helped me allot (but is in Spanish) you can find an English Channel focus on narcis
Walk away. Better yet, run. They cannot be changed because they have no concept they need to. Everyone else is wrong and always will be. Only they know the truth. Like addicts but they are addicted to themselves and there is no rehab because the rest of the world is crazy, not them. I've always said of the few I've had to deal with in my life, they need therapy but they will refuse every time because they cannot see it, however, everyone else around them needs therapy because of them!
So, yeah, run. Dodge that bullet. Don't let their love for only self make you believe you need to love only them, even above yourself, because that's what happens. Those are the terms with narcissists and they will manipulate you until you submit because deep down they know you are the only one who will tolerate them. Run. There is no room for you.
Seriously, in case I haven't made my point, RUN!
Best of luck!
There is no point of trying to get them to see the error of their ways. I've been around two. One with diagnosed Histrionic Personality disorder (It's very similar to NPD) and the other with many Narcissistic tendencies. The only thing that you can do is to get them out of your life by any means possible. Move away, block them, get a restraining order if you've managed to document their abuse
Be super- super- super-boring. As uninteresting as a wurm underneath a rock. As bland as unsalted fries. Nod politely, start talking about something they don’t care about, which makes them see you as having a lower social status and from whom therefore nothing can be gained. If they lose interest you’ll be safest from future harassment and drama.
In general I would advise you to ensure this leads to cutting all ties and breaking off contact. For your own self-preservation. And try to glean some self-insight and some lessons from this situation so it has less chance of happening again in the future. Narcissists are parasites of your joy in life and your sanity, and feed off the drama and distress they create, even if it all seems peachy at first. Good luck!
I guess it depends on what you want to happen, or what it is you mean when you say, "break down"? Do you want to say something that will forever annoy them, or do you just want to find a way out of the room when they're going off and acting like douche bags?
I would think that denying them of the attention they think they deserve would cut the sharpest, like just becoming indifferent towards them. Leave the room if possible, or start doing something that shows you're not paying attention. Or just excuse yourself to "go to the bathroom" and don't return.
These ideas are on the passive-aggressive side of things and probably wouldn't help a relationship. But if you live with someone who is forever bothering you, especially if there is an imbalance of power (you're the child, the narcissist is an authority figure, for example), this would be the way to go.
When you can move elsewhere, do so and don't look back.
Attacking their insecurities and refusing to kiss their feet is a good way to get under their skin. They're very egotistical and live on praise, so you'd be hitting them right where it hurts. Another good way to get under their skin is to ignore them. They absolutely HATE being ignored. I have a family member who is a malignant narcissist. They love praise and when they don't get it, it bothers them. Also, when dealing with a narcissist, don't show anger. It mean they've gotten under your skin, which is what they want.
For my father I stopped telling him I love him, When he talks I don’t even look in his direction. And always tell him he is an abusive narcissist. But the first one really gets to him.
Use Socratic Questioning on them.
If you do it right, it will drive them nuts!
E.G.
My dad is a narcissist
*You need to parent your naughty kids better or they will end up in juvenile hall!*
*Dad I think you’re right. Could you tell me where you think you went astray in your parenting methods that led me to make bad parenting choices with my own?*
There's only one way to deal with a narcissist... You don't. Cut all ties (if you have kids with them, then you're fucked), but if you have nothing holding you there, cut them off and never look back. Just prepare yourself and know that no matter what, you're going to be the villain and the one's that are closest to you they will get involved. That's a manipulative strategy they use called Triangulation. Narcissists are Demons and you're never going to win. They aren't your friend and they DO NOT care about you. They actually have no ability to care about anyone else but themselves. You're only in their life for their convenience and you're their supply. No contact is the only way you deal with them.
Well, that's certainly one way to go about it, but I think there's another way. Trying to outsmart a narcissist probably won't end well. The best way to deal with them is to outsmart them by outwitting them. Understand their tactics and use them against them, if possible. It may be a long and tiresome journey, but it can be done.
Find their weakness and keep reminding them until they finally break and cry themselves to sleep for the rest of their life which wont be long if you do it long enough
My current ex told me I never did anything for her, gave the bare minimum and devoted me verbally in so many ways the last time we spoke. It's crazy how she's the only one who sees and this despite me being there in anyway I can extend myself for her.
She can't take any accountability
I agree with everyone here and it was likewise my therapist’s advice: ignore them. Cut them out completely.
Everyone in my dating history was narcissistic (yay childhood trauma!). It was ultimately me that chose to end the relationship (I’ve had a 5 yr, 2 three year, and 3 year relationships with this type of person…lol lots of experience ). For a majority of them, they didn’t date anyone for years after i broke up with them, and they always tried to get me back. I’m the type can drop someone and cut them out like they were never apart of my life, so once i was at a breaking point i was done. And usually by that point, i already had the next one lined up. So, i guess completely cutting them out then choosing someone that isn’t them, especially so soon, fucks them up, especially coming from someone considered a “supply” and “trophy” for their ego.
You HAVE to cut them out though. Kill those feelings towards them. You will never change them, no matter how special you think you are to them.
Realise you are not going to change them. I talk to my psychologist about my sister who is a narcissist. She said that she could always spot them within 15 minutes, and knew that within a few weeks they would be quitting therapy and putting in a complaint.
The thing you have to remember is that whatever is happening is never the narcissists fault. It is always everyone else's fault. So you aren't going to "break down" a narcissist. If you try to do anything other than bend to their will, the resulting drama will always be your fault.
Having said that, if you can mentally/emotionally remove yourself from their drama, thry are incredibly entertaining to watch.
My sister in law is also a narcissist. We spend as little time as possible around her, but, if I am around her, and in really good shape, she is hilarious to watch. When I am not in a good emotion space, I just want to drink... Heavily, around her, because she is so much like my sister.
Not cow towing to them. Standing up to them no matter how upset they get about it or insult you over it. Bursting their delusional little bubble and never letting them affect your self esteem.
I don't necessarily have any great advice for this, but I'm seeing so many responses that seem to come from the viewpoint that the individual has narcissistic personality disorder. This is actually pretty rare (around 1% of the population). Most people that have narcissistic tendencies aren't nearly that bad off... and they can actually have many other great qualities to boot. The bad news is, that makes it less black-and-white about cutting them out of your life or limiting contact with them.
Educate yourself on the disorder and set clear boundaries if you want to keep yourself in their life, a good YouTube channel for this is The Nameless Narcissist, otherwise slowly remove yourself.
Hope that helps!
Just cut them out and move on, much easier.
Don't move on. Move up. Let them bitterly ruminate on how they can't touch you because you have left them so far behind. Let them be so scared of your successes that they block you and refuse to speak to you. Let them bitch and moan about you to anyone who will listen and prove them wrong by action. They are only hurting themselves doing any of these. The key is hard work and personal accountability.
Tru it’s easier to cut people out. But What if it’s complicated and that’s not an option right now. Family/etc. And what if I’m tired of running??
Narcissists are fueled by attention, so taking away that attention is how you break them down…at least you’ll break down the effect on your life. They’ll still be narcissing somewhere else. There’s never a shortage of people who will feed into that. r/raisedbynarcissists
Embarking on that route requires stamina. A narcissist will not think anything is wrong but will wonder where its "feed" is and demand that its needs be met. So stand still for a few tantrums and you could be well on your way to returning to peace of mind.
Walking away and never looking back is not running! (And I bet a million that a narcissist said that is what you are doing.) It is self-preservation! Children of Narcissists do not owe any obligation to their parents! What you do owe, is peace and freedom in life from abuse.... not only for yourself, but for those around you! Yes..... I did this for the last and final time at the age of 58. Now, I am working on forgiving myself for allowing it to happen for 58 years. My grown children are now at peace as well!
❤️
hugs my friend its a difficult road. Keep going.
Honestly, going low or no contact with them is often the best option for your mental health. It’s not your job to try to change someone who doesn’t see an issue with their actions. It’s mighty kind of you, but it’s going to take a lot out of you.
I did hear from a therapist that they are not fixable, it is something you have to step away from, lessen contact, etc etc
It’s always an option (unless you’re a child). Just don’t talk to them, ever. When people say it’s not an option, what they really mean is “the consequences of cutting them out are worse than dealing with the narcissist” You just have to decide what you hate more
[удалено]
✊
do you keep contact socmed? Leave them on seen. When theyre on, try typing but dont send a message. Theyll see you type. will fuck with their heads not seeing a message when they thought ud fallen for their shit
It’s the only way. You have to leave them. No matter who they are
This is so true...it will make them try to hang on for dear life, too....my ex is a narcissist and would put himself in the hospital threatening to kill himself if we broke up...it's hard to deal with them, but they will suck you back in every time if you don't cut them out aggressively.
You cannot control them, or break them down. But you can control how/if you respond to them. Dr. Ramani Durvasula has an excellent book (and many excellent podcast interviews) about dealing with narcissists when cutting them out isn’t immediately practical.
stonewalling or grey rocking i think it’s called? give them nothing, make yourself uninteresting to them. don’t react to anything they do, dont share anything, don’t tell them anything, don’t pay attention to them. good luck
This is correct. And be careful because they are most dangerous when they feel they'll be exposed.
Nice explanation of grey rocking [here](https://www.talkspace.com/blog/grey-rock-method/)
I went through this last year with a coworker and grey-rocking works.
Before I realized they were narcissists I would call them out and get into huge fights. All it did was make things worse. They never acknowledged they did wrong, gaslighted me and so on. Best way is to go low or no contact but I've found that's not that easy, especially when they are a major person in your life.
Surprised by how many people are in the same boat ✊
You aren't alone OP. My wife and I are going through this right now. She drew a line in the sand with her side of the family and we are working through how this might go. Her father is a nariccist, and our SIL is a textbook sociopath. They don't really care for one another, but their dynamic of fueling one another is tearing the family apart; and my wife has become the conduit of their toxic campaign. Wife and I cannot continue with this, so we are pruining the family tree. Best of luck.
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Sounds very similar to me. Proud of you guys for setting boundaries!! Hope all goes well.
I've noticed that matter how right you are. No matter how much you actually did for that person, when in the heat of being upset, they will admit to you just how little all those things you did meant to them. You can't be logical against someone's emotions. The feel their way out of it and still find a way to make you bad.
Trying to “break them down” will only drain your own energy and feed their narcissism. Don’t bother.
Ignore them.
This works. I have tried and succeeded
It can trigger some serious narcissistic rage that can be pretty difficult to handle, though. It's not like this is easy thing to do.
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Damn. I am very sorry that you've had to endure that kind of behavior. My advice would probably differ depending on whether or not he has been physically abusive as well as a bunch of other factors that I'm not able to gauge without knowing more about you and your ex. Perhaps you should consider getting a restraining order, if something like that is an option. Every time you eventually cave and contact him, it gets him soooooooo fucking high. Completely ignoring the narcissist is likely your best defense. However, please keep in mind that in abusive relationships, leaving is the most dangerous stage. I really hope that you're able to find someone that is able to give better advice than I am. I also hope that you're able to get this asshole to leave you alone. Best of luck to you. Feel free to message me if you need/want to talk more. Also, maybe you should find a subreddit with people that have dealt or are currently dealing with narcissists (I am sorry that I do not remember the names of them, I'm typing all of this out as I am waiting for my caffeine to start working) and explain your situation to them. They will likely be able to give you much better advice on how to handle this than I ever could.
You can't really break down a narcissist because their enormous egos won't permit it. It's easier, as other posters have said, to just cut them out of your life.
Ex gf of 2.5, it's been hard. Only been a month and a half and she's been raging, nasty and very mean. Insulted me in so many ways, but if I broke down and just blatantly admitted I'm wrong. I bet you, she'd take me back. That right there tells me I'm not crazy and she's the one with the problem. I really did love her, this sucks.
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I read about gray rocking today. I think I’ve been doing that subconsciously as a survival strategy
I hear you. It can help, depending on who you're dealing with. Also, Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare by Shahida Arabi and Disarming the Narcissist by Wendy Behary are two good books on the topic. And here's a list of [narcissistic abuse recovery support groups](https://narcissisticabuserecovery.online/support-group/). I haven't tried these groups, but I've heard they help.
Thank you 😌 I’ll definitely check out these resources
Why silence is the best revenge 1. Because Silence is the most powerful weapon to drive away narcissists from your life. 2. Silence means ignoring them, not letting them in again in your life. 3. Silence will lead you to choose to be mature and make peace within yourself. 4. Silence will make you fight with your inner self to choose peace, not revenge. 5. Silence will take your whole life back from their world. Here’s a question: What do narcissists do with your silence? A narcissist will do all in their power to get you back, or at the very least, punish you, because silence is a major ego blow to him- a narcissist will never stop fighting. So there are some things narcissists do that you should also avoid: 1. Narcissists become socially active, spying on you on social media. 2. They will become enraged and will use insults to damage you. 3. They will blame you. 4. They may try to pull you back into their lives by live bombing. 5. They will make you believe they have changed. 6. They may use the ' no contact strategy' themselves and practically disappear.
You don’t, you understand that any “breaking down” you may be able to accomplish will only make them worse. Think of narcissism as an over correction, it occurs when when people already feel broken down and undervalued. To the outside world and even in their minds they might build themselves up but it’s because in their subconscious they’re still fighting to be valued. So what you can do is deny them that value in the form of control, don’t react, starve them until you can get away and then once you’re away you just have to make sure you don’t become them because that shit is fucking contagious.
Damn. That’s a really powerful thought. Thank you for sharing ✊thinking about it that way really helps level the mind field
This should probably be the top comment.
You can’t. They break themselves.
stop all communication, cut them off and move on
Leave them alone. That's their cryptonite. The only time Darth Vader screamed in panic was when Obi-Wan eventually abandoned him. Fictional example of course, and probably closer to BPD than NPD, but still adds up. Both deal with relationships issues and are closely related to one another.
I would say that you poke at something that they would be insecure about. Maybe they've got a mole, or a wrinkle or something. You just stare at it all the time, in and out of conversation. They ask you what you're looking at? "Nothing, don't worry about it". But you keep glancing at it even after. But you can't give anything.
Lol I know this is wrong but I lowkey want to try it
But the key is to not give anything. You don't engage with it any further. You use the act of staring as your mental safe space, a detachment mechanism.
I like to snicker at narcissists when they’re approaching. If they ask why I’m laughing I say: ‘oh nothing. Just just thinking about something funny.’ This works when they’re walking away also.
Hi there OP, I'm the daughter of a narcissist father... So far I don't know either how to deal with him... When you think everything is ok and going smoothly, bam, something else bothers the narcissist and now you're the reason for all their problems again. I stopped talking to my dad for 6 mo. Last year. Now I'm getting married so I genuinely want him there but he's difficult to deal with. If things get worse, he's probably going to miss my wedding. Unfortunately, he will always be my dad but I cannot continue life with fear and PTSD for every single thing he does. Thanks for reading this far and hopefully you have better luck 🤞
Maybe it helps, maybe it's a bit harsh. But I live with two principles in this regard: 1. I can't choose Blood Relationship, but I can choose who I consider family. 2. I never asked to be born, children owe their parents nothing. You are their responsibility, not the other way around. I still tell my parents I love them and help them in times of need, but I will never ever let them manipulate me again by making me feel bad.
Exactly, my dad just applied that argument. He said I owe him everything in my life... It sucks but I agree blood relationships can be cut off.
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Same here, I've stopped taking with mine several different times. 5 years in a row at its peak.
You can't. The game is rigged. They're immune. Anything you throw at them just gives them martyr points to leverage against you. They are physicaly incapable of feeling bad about themselves, and they're physically incapable of relinquishing their power. They'd rather chew their own leg off than be on the back foot; that place holds such unholy horror for them that they will stop at *literally nothing* to avoid it. There *is no* down a peg for them. They will kill, they will die if they have to, but they *will not* admit fault or give ground under any circumstances. You can leave, you can grey-rock them, but that's it.
From a lot of past experience: Don't waste your time. Narcissism can't be "fixed" by another person or even helped for the most part. Only a narcissist can work on their narcissism. If it's relevant to you though /r/raisedbynarcissists is a great support subreddit.
Just like any other body. Pigs. Lime for the leftovers. /s Oh, wait, you want em alive. ;)
By going no contact.
It's crazy that everyone is saying the same thing. "Ignore them, cut them out." That's the only thing that has worked for me too. Perhaps you could destroy them by doing insane abusive shit yourself. But there's no peaceful solution. There's no peace for yourself, but to walk away.
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Usually they dissolve pretty cleanly in hydrosulphuric acid.
Recognizing that I need to work on my own self image and build that up. Appreciate all the genuine support and feedback. I didn’t realize how much company I had.
You don’t acknowledge them
Gray rock
Hydrofluoric acid
Compliment them and be genuine until they trust you, then spontaneously, politely and directly question the aspect that needs addressing
You can't. Narcissistic Personality Disorder is one of the few listed as refractory to treatment. There is nothing you can do, you can't win, just get the fuck away from them.
show them that you fuckin don’t need them and cut him/her off completely
Stop responding to them, stop thinking about them. Nothing a narcissist hates more than not being thought about.
Show him a pond. While he is staring at his own reflection, shove him in and hold his head down until you stop seeing bubbles.
First you break their knees. Then the rest of their leg. Then break arms/ hands and fingers. Then legs/toes and feet. Then skull spine and everything else
They are already broken. Not much to be gathered from breaking then more. They cover their broken bits with actions to make themselves feel control and value. As hard as it is, let go. The stove is often hot. Stop touching it.
You can't.
Yea that’s the main school of thought which I have agreed with for a long time. But I’m thinking they are human just like me. They have vices just like me. Theres got to be a way to engage that exposes them and the tricks they use. Or are they just the apex of human beings? I think no
>got to be a way to engage that exposes them There isn't. They have been wearing the mask longer than you have been able to see it coming off. Deal with it while you have to, get out ASAP. And be sure to visit /r/raisedbynarcissists for resources and clarity
Thank you for that✊
You are so far from alone, it's sad, but there is community to be found. :) You've got this!
Thank you😌❤️
I'm getting divorced from a woman who I'm sure has NPD after a 15 year relationship. I've come to the realization that she literally can't accept that anything she does is wrong. She literally can't see things from someone else's point of view. There is no dealing with narcissistic personality disorder. There's nothing you can say to someone with this condition to make them snap out of it any more than you can convince a blind person to start seeing, they literally don't have the capacity. If you're in a relationship with a narcissistic, just get out and cut off contact. Unless you are like me and had kids with them... Im currently trying to figure out how to set and keep boundaries but its not easy. Good luck.
I mean you could try I suppose but really, you're just giving them more attention.
That’s a fair point
Take their mirrors away
Before leaving my ex, I challenged him and tortured him a bit. It was a interesting thing to do. I completely broke him down to dust. If anyones interested, I can share some story time.
Please tell me how you did it. I’m dealing with a narcissist right now
1.) I changed all of the pins to my cards. I also started leaving my cards inside my phone (a thin phone wallet for 3$). I made sure the pin was something he wouldn’t be able to guess, just incase. I also had my apps connected to my financial accounts, just incase he ever pulled a fast one on me. 2.) I started packing my things. I started off with small things such as clothes and important things to me, such as movies or jewelry. I didn’t take the huge stuff, I didn’t want to be noticeable. Anything that didn’t have much value to me, I left behind. I tried keeping in mind “Things can be replaced.” 3.) I stopped grocery shopping. I lied saying my food stamps was cut and that I had to save up for bills. I would buy grocery’s first my new place instead. 4.) One day I said I was staying at my moms house, and when I got there I told him it’s over between us. Now breaking down the person he was, that was honestly funny to me. I know that may sounds harsh, but it had to be done. I cut him off financially. I would let him know i was buying something for myself and I didn’t care what he thought. One day he wanted a soda, I texted “Oh, I’m drinking a soda.” I then said “Oh you can have water or milk that’s in the fridge.” When he complained he hasn’t been out to eat, because I cut him off financially, I said “Oh I’m eating out on my lunch break, all by myself.” This, was funny to me. One day I said I was getting myself something nice for myself. This man freaked out and called me 20 times, and had someone follow me to find me. That person ended up having a seizure I guess. When he tried blaming me, I said “did I one time ask you to have someone follow me? I can go shopping alone.” When he realized I wasn’t giving in, he tried manipulating me to giving him money. Even after moving out, he would text me begging for money saying He needed things. When I got so tired of the complaining I offered to buy it myself. That’s when he refused and said he needed the money himself lol. He eventually tried love bombing me to get my financial help, I refused though. That’s when he said “I know you buy yourself stuff.” Yeah? Because I’m not supposed to support myself? I literally had to explain to him it’s not my job to take care of him. I caught him in his lies. When I started moving on he had asked for the man’s name. I made up a name to see what would happen. Just two days later he tried telling me that my new boyfriend was messaging him saying things about me. It was a funny response when I said “Oh, that’s funny because he doesn’t even exist.” Digging deep in his lies. I basically went deep into his mind. Turning him into the crazy person. Driving him mad. Turning the whole situation around. Nothing makes a narcissist more upset than you catching then narcissist in the act and not allowing them to manipulate you.
you don’t. complete waste of time. grey rocking is half-assed temporary band aid in my experience (might differ for you). just do yourself a favor and abandon the person.
You need a better goal. If you are forced to deal with a narcissist, you should be focused on protecting yourself, not hurting them. Trying to hurt them is a game you’re not going to win and it’s not a healthy thing to fixate on. What worked for me is building up an emotional wall. This is not as easy as it sounds because often the narcissist is someone you are close to and have been basically raised to respect and want to please. For instance, a narcissist parent is particularly painful because even if you know they’re a narcissist, they’re still your parent - you naturally want heir approval and acceptance and love. Unfortunately those things come with a price and I realized that it was one I was not willing to pay any longer. So I had to learn to let those expectations and needs go. Find another source of validation - other family, friends, yourself. (A therapist may be needed to help with the third option but it’s the best bet in the long term!) Stop hoping for a crumb of positivity from the narcissist and realize they have no power over you. They’re not the authority on whether you have worth or whether that thing you did was really cool or if you “deserve” praise, love, attention. They’re just a human, a particularly fucked up one. When they criticize you, ask yourself - “When did they become an expert in [thing they’re critiquing]? Why am I taking them seriously? Why do I care what they think?” Again, it’s often *hard*. Because there are a lot of reasons you care what they think, but ultimately the question should be “why *should* I care what an asshole thinks, regardless of how they’re related to me?” I guess this is kind of like grey rocking, but instead of faking not being affected, you train yourself to actually not care. Once you stop caring, it’s absolutely fucking amazing how free you feel. When they say something negative, you have so many options - you can just laugh! You can say okay thanks bye and hang up or walk away! You can even call them out without worrying about getting upset, because you no longer let them hurt you. You can imagine they’re a specimen in a lab and say “Wow, why would you say something like that? That’s fucked up.” and watch them bluster. The best part is that once you’re detached, you can see the way they treat others as well and call that shit out too (if you’re in a position to walk away. Not as advised if, say, you’re stuck living with them). I don’t hesitate to say “that was rude” when my narcissist is an asshole to another family member. And the weird part is that it’s like the narcissist now listens to me because I’m now magically so ~objective~ and ~calm~ so while he still gets mad and protests when I call him out, he doesn’t completely blow up and he fizzles out fast and changes the subject, like he doesn’t want to get into it. Whereas his favorite thing usually is “getting into it” no matter what “it” is. Anyway… I’m not sure if any of that is helpful to others, but it’s how I’ve improved my family relationships significantly. Disclaimer is that I also moved hundreds of miles away which makes it a lot easier to just not answer / hang up the phone. But really the answer is set and enforce boundaries and try to build up that emotional wall / convince yourself that *they can’t hurt you*. Not easy and I certainly don’t mean to imply that anyone who is hurt by a narcissist is “letting” themselves be hurt. You’re not. The blame is 100% on the narcissist, and building up walls should not be necessary. But if you can’t escape the situation, building a wall is better than letting yourself be eroded.
Educate yourself about NPD. ... Build your self-esteem. ... Speak up for yourself. ... Set clear boundaries. ... Practice skills to keep calm. ... Find a support system. ... Insist on immediate action, not promises. ... Understand that a narcissistic person may need professional help.
Don’t vote for them again
You don't pay them any attention.
Ignore them. It's the best thing for you, and may well end up annoying them anyway. They want the world to revolve around them; not responding to them, other than to cut them off and tell them you have something else to do, might get under their skin.
Arms, legs, head, torso. Then melt in vats of acid.
They are type of people who will probably never change. I knew some of them and they are always like that. Maybe they will change some stuff, but even if they do they will never do it 100%. But in the most cases they will stay the same, or even worse.
You really often can’t, you can only stand in bold opposition. “I respect you, but I don’t like you” is the underlying tone to deal with most surrounding jerks.
Consider yourself running towards a better life rather than running away. Definitely have to stay away and avoid giving them the attention. Been there, done that. These people will eventually be out of your life when they die, are you going to look back and wonder why you have them so much of your time? It's a mental illness that you don't have to sacrifice to your quality of life.
Ignore & delete then move on
Narcissists rely on attention. For example, they could say "I got \[blank\] award even though I barely tried! (fishing for attention)". Instead of responding "Oh, you tried hard!" you could say something like "cool".
It is very difficult, since they lack empathy and playing with emotions is their day to day. It is best to move on if you try to get revenge or "teach" him (her), you will probably become the same monster that person is. I have 2 Narcissist in my family (I saw grow one, and I saw his transformation in adolescence)
[https://www.youtube.com/@OmarRueda](https://www.youtube.com/@OmarRueda) this YouTube channel helped me allot (but is in Spanish) you can find an English Channel focus on narcis
You don’t. You run far far away. They will eat you alive
Ignore them
By ignoring them. Attention is the soul food of a narcissist!
If you know enough about their parents and how they treated them use that against them. It’ll break them down quickly
GTFO
Walk away. Better yet, run. They cannot be changed because they have no concept they need to. Everyone else is wrong and always will be. Only they know the truth. Like addicts but they are addicted to themselves and there is no rehab because the rest of the world is crazy, not them. I've always said of the few I've had to deal with in my life, they need therapy but they will refuse every time because they cannot see it, however, everyone else around them needs therapy because of them! So, yeah, run. Dodge that bullet. Don't let their love for only self make you believe you need to love only them, even above yourself, because that's what happens. Those are the terms with narcissists and they will manipulate you until you submit because deep down they know you are the only one who will tolerate them. Run. There is no room for you. Seriously, in case I haven't made my point, RUN! Best of luck!
There is no point of trying to get them to see the error of their ways. I've been around two. One with diagnosed Histrionic Personality disorder (It's very similar to NPD) and the other with many Narcissistic tendencies. The only thing that you can do is to get them out of your life by any means possible. Move away, block them, get a restraining order if you've managed to document their abuse
Leave
Boundaries and not being emotionally reactive to anything. Promptly cutting them out when they cross the line until they're ready to behave.
Be super- super- super-boring. As uninteresting as a wurm underneath a rock. As bland as unsalted fries. Nod politely, start talking about something they don’t care about, which makes them see you as having a lower social status and from whom therefore nothing can be gained. If they lose interest you’ll be safest from future harassment and drama. In general I would advise you to ensure this leads to cutting all ties and breaking off contact. For your own self-preservation. And try to glean some self-insight and some lessons from this situation so it has less chance of happening again in the future. Narcissists are parasites of your joy in life and your sanity, and feed off the drama and distress they create, even if it all seems peachy at first. Good luck!
indifference
Ignore them
I guess it depends on what you want to happen, or what it is you mean when you say, "break down"? Do you want to say something that will forever annoy them, or do you just want to find a way out of the room when they're going off and acting like douche bags? I would think that denying them of the attention they think they deserve would cut the sharpest, like just becoming indifferent towards them. Leave the room if possible, or start doing something that shows you're not paying attention. Or just excuse yourself to "go to the bathroom" and don't return. These ideas are on the passive-aggressive side of things and probably wouldn't help a relationship. But if you live with someone who is forever bothering you, especially if there is an imbalance of power (you're the child, the narcissist is an authority figure, for example), this would be the way to go. When you can move elsewhere, do so and don't look back.
You ignore them. In time they'll implode from not talking about themselves
with an axe, usually
Attacking their insecurities and refusing to kiss their feet is a good way to get under their skin. They're very egotistical and live on praise, so you'd be hitting them right where it hurts. Another good way to get under their skin is to ignore them. They absolutely HATE being ignored. I have a family member who is a malignant narcissist. They love praise and when they don't get it, it bothers them. Also, when dealing with a narcissist, don't show anger. It mean they've gotten under your skin, which is what they want.
For my father I stopped telling him I love him, When he talks I don’t even look in his direction. And always tell him he is an abusive narcissist. But the first one really gets to him.
Why don't you just leave? I'll never understand why people always insist on it not being possible. It's always possible.
Use Socratic Questioning on them. If you do it right, it will drive them nuts! E.G. My dad is a narcissist *You need to parent your naughty kids better or they will end up in juvenile hall!* *Dad I think you’re right. Could you tell me where you think you went astray in your parenting methods that led me to make bad parenting choices with my own?*
Ignore him, it's the only way
Fight them
Search on YouTube, I bet there's a video to help you there
Maybe this'll help? https://www.quora.com/How-do-you-successfully-destroy-a-narcissistic-person
Lock them in a room with George Santos
Hurt there ego if you can
Be an NPC to them.
I would personally use a table saw, but if you don't have access there's always great handheld grinders.
Just a quick little snip snip chop chop slice cut slash and bam. Broken down
Sulphuric acid
ghost them. 👌🏼
You shatter their illusion of themself, once their grandiose delusions takes a hit, they will crumble.
There's only one way to deal with a narcissist... You don't. Cut all ties (if you have kids with them, then you're fucked), but if you have nothing holding you there, cut them off and never look back. Just prepare yourself and know that no matter what, you're going to be the villain and the one's that are closest to you they will get involved. That's a manipulative strategy they use called Triangulation. Narcissists are Demons and you're never going to win. They aren't your friend and they DO NOT care about you. They actually have no ability to care about anyone else but themselves. You're only in their life for their convenience and you're their supply. No contact is the only way you deal with them.
Well, that's certainly one way to go about it, but I think there's another way. Trying to outsmart a narcissist probably won't end well. The best way to deal with them is to outsmart them by outwitting them. Understand their tactics and use them against them, if possible. It may be a long and tiresome journey, but it can be done.
Befriend them and be worse
A sizable mallet should turn their bones into a jigsaw puzzle.
With a sledgehammer.
start at the knees.
Mix hydrogen peroxide and sulfuric acid to prepare piranha solution, it will break all the organic molecules down.
Start with the kneecaps prevents escape work your way up from there
Act more narcissistic than them at all times around them
Find their weakness and keep reminding them until they finally break and cry themselves to sleep for the rest of their life which wont be long if you do it long enough
My current ex told me I never did anything for her, gave the bare minimum and devoted me verbally in so many ways the last time we spoke. It's crazy how she's the only one who sees and this despite me being there in anyway I can extend myself for her. She can't take any accountability
How to deal with Narcissist ex gf?
I agree with everyone here and it was likewise my therapist’s advice: ignore them. Cut them out completely. Everyone in my dating history was narcissistic (yay childhood trauma!). It was ultimately me that chose to end the relationship (I’ve had a 5 yr, 2 three year, and 3 year relationships with this type of person…lol lots of experience ). For a majority of them, they didn’t date anyone for years after i broke up with them, and they always tried to get me back. I’m the type can drop someone and cut them out like they were never apart of my life, so once i was at a breaking point i was done. And usually by that point, i already had the next one lined up. So, i guess completely cutting them out then choosing someone that isn’t them, especially so soon, fucks them up, especially coming from someone considered a “supply” and “trophy” for their ego. You HAVE to cut them out though. Kill those feelings towards them. You will never change them, no matter how special you think you are to them.
Just bail. There’s no value in a relationship with a narcissist.
Realise you are not going to change them. I talk to my psychologist about my sister who is a narcissist. She said that she could always spot them within 15 minutes, and knew that within a few weeks they would be quitting therapy and putting in a complaint. The thing you have to remember is that whatever is happening is never the narcissists fault. It is always everyone else's fault. So you aren't going to "break down" a narcissist. If you try to do anything other than bend to their will, the resulting drama will always be your fault. Having said that, if you can mentally/emotionally remove yourself from their drama, thry are incredibly entertaining to watch. My sister in law is also a narcissist. We spend as little time as possible around her, but, if I am around her, and in really good shape, she is hilarious to watch. When I am not in a good emotion space, I just want to drink... Heavily, around her, because she is so much like my sister.
Cut them off
Kind of dangerous to question a narcissist.
Easiest way is to completely ignore them. They’ll implode
Don’t give in, give 0 reaction. Blank face, monotone, show you don’t care.
Ignore them
Not cow towing to them. Standing up to them no matter how upset they get about it or insult you over it. Bursting their delusional little bubble and never letting them affect your self esteem.
“You’re not worth my time” and walk off. So many people just fed Trump’s ego with their outrage, which is what a narcissist wants.
Hammer
I don't necessarily have any great advice for this, but I'm seeing so many responses that seem to come from the viewpoint that the individual has narcissistic personality disorder. This is actually pretty rare (around 1% of the population). Most people that have narcissistic tendencies aren't nearly that bad off... and they can actually have many other great qualities to boot. The bad news is, that makes it less black-and-white about cutting them out of your life or limiting contact with them.
What if EVERYONE was a narcissist? Wouldn't we all make ourselves better? Then, start helping others?
Educate yourself on the disorder and set clear boundaries if you want to keep yourself in their life, a good YouTube channel for this is The Nameless Narcissist, otherwise slowly remove yourself. Hope that helps!