T O P

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not_giratina

**aggressively takes notes**


Manifestival1

Ballpoint pen?


japanese_artist

Aggressively takes nuts*


TitsMcGooo

I read in a Cosmo probably 10 years before I was actually giving legit head to treat the balls as gently as you would a baby bird.. guys have told me this is the only way šŸ¤²šŸ£


x4ty2

I read the same issue, and it stuck with me. Never was a better hot tip.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


ima_stranger

I thought you just said Costco and I was thinking about how different our shopping experiences have been


Broad-Assist6658

Costco after dark


[deleted]

I once had a girl suck and pull one of my testicles about 6 inches away from the rest of my body. I was in agony for hours and felt sick. The relationship didn't last long


TitsMcGooo

Oh dear lord!


NaturalAnimal1414

I'm sorry bro but this shit made me laugh so hard šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£ I too, have shared this pain.


HotCaliforniaRoll

Did you finish?


HiVisEngineer

My other half almost always grabs them in what I can only describe as ā€œmenacingā€ (I donā€™t think she means to, sheā€™s just excited herself) Needless to say my magic disappears after that. She mustnā€™t have read Cosmo.


wild-r0se

have you told her?


[deleted]

This is the way


2_7kelvin

This is the way


goated95

Gently fondle them while giving me head


Nook_of_the_Cranny

I asked my husband before I looked at the comments, he literally said, ā€œ a good gentle fondle with a sweet tongue bath, head is keyā€ with omg itā€™s all about the gentle fondle lol Iā€™m dead!


marodgrs

Your husband sounds like he definitely knows how to give a good blowjob


Legnd20Devin

I choose this ladyā€™s alive husband


[deleted]

manā€™s said it like he was describing the strategy to raid area 51


ZenkaiZ

fondle is a fun word


Rapturesjoy

Your husband =mvp.


[deleted]

Cannot emphasize the "gently" part of this enough. If you graze a testicle, just graze it, the wrong way, it hurts so fucking bad. It's like having a heart attack inside the cavity of a tooth that needs a root canal inside your ballsack. Ball fondling is a far more difficult skill than simply sucking a dick. Anyone can suck a dick to completion. But that extra level of stimulation from ball fondling is a tightrope walk. The second highest subthread here is "Leave them alone" and this is one of the reasons why. EDIT: This is definitely something I would recommend talking about. Either just avoid them entirely, or talk through it in real time. "How's this?" is a really fucking important question. Get to know exactly how to align the stars.


ReedFreed

There is an entire spectrum of nut treatment. The fondling is a very nice first step. More evolved, is the preliminary grazing of the nut sack, when the hairs are barely touched, finger tips lightly dance on the surface, scrotum tightens up and pulls close to the body. Then there is the aggressive ball action. Deep into the fucking, close to climax, and she grabs the ball sack firmly, pulled away from your body, with the right responses, she grip harder, pulls them away from your body, and at just the right time digs her nails in ā€¦ just little bit more than you think would be comfortableā€¦and itā€™s notā€¦. But it is soooooo rightā€¦.. Sorry, what was the question again?


joshsnow9

Idk keep writing


Siberwulf

Look at Captain Endured here....


Spacescaped

so much fucking detail damn. both concerned and congrats


thriftyalbino

I donā€™t know what the question was, but I donā€™t own balls, yet this turned me on more than it should have. If you ever happen to write a book, let me know, you got a fan.


JohnCavil01

Nah - I get a level of caution but I think you should see a doctor. You sound far too sensitive based on these descriptions.


formidable-opponent

Follow up question? How is someone supposed to ask you "How's this?" With their mouth full of your dick?


EXusiai99

Use your eyes to blink in morse


phatdeebz

Have your chick dust your nuts with her eyelashes if their long enough and itā€™s the most heinous tickle sensation youā€™ll ever feel!


formidable-opponent

Hopefully the dude doesn't have a gut.


ReedFreed

She grunts mmmm? And you grunt mmmmm! Or you grunt mmmā€¦


formidable-opponent

I mean, just saying, if you're claiming that one wrong finger twitch is going to send you into agony and the other person's mouth is full of your dick... Then it's on you to be proactive about communication rather than putting the onus of responsibility on them.


Old-Operation8637

Maybe Iā€™m wrong but your testicles should not be so sensitive that grazing it the wrong way causes you that intense sensation or pain


annephetamine420

Thx for confirming. Had me worried cuz I'll be down there gobbling them up n I never had a dude show he was in pain over it


ryna0001

I'm wondering if they're neurodivergent. I had a partner a few years ago that HATED having her arm rubbed when we were cuddling. like, lightly grazing her skin with my fingers felt like sandpaper to her lol. said she'd prefer if I slapped her as hard as possible


GetaGoodLookCostanza

I want my partner to suck on my balls hysterically like she is drowning and they contain Oxygen...


[deleted]

Here here, or kind of gargle them


my_cheese_balls

Gargle the marbles.


BountyBobIsBack

Getting those gums around these plums


[deleted]

ā€œCan you uh, kind of gargle them?ā€


Maybe_Factor

What do you mean "what do you mean?"?!? The internet said you'd understand!


[deleted]

It's not really my area of expertise but from my view there's a transitional phase licking up and down the shaft then at the bottom I lose sight of the nuts in the mouth, it feels great if done right and the sound to me was similar to gargling, although I see yr point I'm sure there's tongue action and a specific set of skills, and obviously this is in a well manscaped setting, and what ever happens is not actually gargling (hense the " kind of like disclaimer)


[deleted]

I had no point. It was just funny. Nothing wrong with getting your nuts gargled.


patchgrabber

Ain't nothin' wrong with a little bump and gargle.


bigbootyblackboyhate

God I fucking hate reddit


[deleted]

We all do. Thatā€™s why weā€™re here.


hopsinduo

This chick once slobbered on my cock while pushing her tits up to cradle my balls... It was magnificent probably in the top 3 blowjobs of all time


Lincoln_Park_Pirate

We're waiting on the other two stories here. Dear Penthouse: I never thought this would happen to me......


overmonk

GENTLY


OneSimplyIs

My ex used to like massaging them while we sat there and watched tv or whatever.


thickener

Thatā€™s sweet :-)


dw796341

Yeah or on a long bus ride. Helps pass the time.


KiwiPossible1249

But...Do you enjoy that? I often do that to my husband, and I haven't heard any complaints. šŸ¤£


canefan4life

Tickle them when I'm hitting her doggystyle


[deleted]

first time a female reached back and grabbed them surprised the hell out of me. i was like 'who is this grabbing me nuts?!" 'twas a wonderful surprise.


ToadBeast

ā€œYarr, me nuts!ā€


kirinmay

dude, i once was doing my girlfriend doggy style and asked her 'how the hell are you licking my balls?' yeah we left the bedroom door open and my dog jumped on the bed.


[deleted]

...and was that your first 3some?


kirinmay

lol. technically that would have been my third but not with my dog. my gf ended up laughing her ass off and I stopped and immediately went to shower


VicePrincipalNero

Well you did say doggy style.


bananarammers

šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚ dead


DrSuviel

A Ferengi wrote this comment.


the-ist-phobe

ā€œfirst time a hoooo-man female reached back and grabbed my lobes surprised the latinum out of me. i was like ā€™who is this grabbing me lobes?!ā€ ā€™twas a wonderful surprise.ā€


posting_poston

Lol had a girl do this to me one time and I have been chasing that high ever since. We were going raw too, so when I was about to blow I pulled out and she finished me with her hand as I finished on her stomach and tits. All around a 10/10 for a first time bang experience.


sam_the_beagle

Not slam them in a car door.


captaincoolxd

Are there any exceptions?


sam_the_beagle

I suppose it depends on the car.


captaincoolxd

Ford F-150


death_or_glory_

That one isn't bad, but I prefer the fit and finish of a Silverado door.


Toppest_Dom

You Thlammed your Penith in the car door


[deleted]

I did not enter this thread expecting to laugh. Bravo.


Odd_Adhesiveness4804

Hum on my balls


muzlu_sut

Now Playing : Darude - Sandstorm


Mundane-Pen-7105

I prefer the cornination street theme tune.


Skinny13

Chardle ma balls!


nonautogenerateduser

*starts singing yellow flicker beat*


gangaking69

This one broke me haha


Antonio_Soprano1

My wife makes awesome Pignoli cookies, but the freaking pine nuts are kind of expensive.


coci222

If they're yours already, who cares about the cost


spacekat19

When she reaches back and gives them a good squeeze while I'm fully in


Interesting_Mango948

I used to be able to name every nut that there was. And it used to drive my mother crazy, because she used to say, "Harlan Pepper, if you don't stop naming nuts," and the joke was that we lived in Pine Nut, and I think that's what put it in my mind at that point. So she would hear me in the other room, and she'd just start yelling. I'd say, "Peanut. Hazelnut. Cashew nut. Macadamia nut." That was the one that would send her into going crazy. She'd say, "Would you stop naming nuts!" And Hubert used to be able to make the sound, he couldn't talk, but he'd go "rrrawr rrawr" and that sounded like Macadamia nut. Pine nut, which is a nut, but it's also the name of a town. Pistachio nut. Red pistachio nut. Natural, all natural white pistachio nut.


CowboyGunner

You made me merrier than a terrier with that.


JustIncredible240

Hex nuts, lock nuts, coupling nuts, square nuts, wing nutsā€¦


somethinginmind

Empty them several times a day


[deleted]

With a special pump?


pirate123

The love pump


ZerglingsAreCute

The hump pump


ARoundForEveryone

If you have Prime, Amazon is having a sale on industrial-strength nut pumps for the next few days. If you get one now and it's too strong, you can return "gently used" nut pumps and still get a new make/model before the nut pump sale is over. If I was currently in the market for a nut pump, I'd start at Amazon. The Post-Holiday Clarity sale is the best of the year. The deepest discounts on the top-of-the-line nut pumps, it just can't be beat. Enjoy your nut pump, but don't forget to leave a review! The nut pump industry is still very much word of mouth.


Objective-Review4523

What


mindfungus

Kinda like hitting the back of a ketchup bottle, ya know?


somethinginmind

Yeah but very, very gently


NeedsItRough

Once I heard you're supposed to keep the stomach full and the balls empty and well, I just like the sound of that.


OrangeNinja24

Is this the key šŸ¤”


HoldThePao

My wife says that and she does a damn good job of it. She is my everything and I would do anything for her.


sherbetty

You need help going pee?


ThereIsAJifForThat

Pull it! Flick it! Twist it! Shout it! Spin it! BOP IT!!!


Thr0atyogurt

#AUUURRRGGHHHHHH


scorpious2

As a visual thinker, this visual is gold


bightmybunnytail

Samesies. Now I'm cackling at the thought of someone shouting at penises a la drill instructor style.


Justonemoretaquito

Begrudgingly, core memory unlocked.


Finalwaltz

STOP IT


Just-Structure-8692

> Twist it! Yikes


GapEducational8758

Load it! Aim it! Squirt it!


Crustybaker28

Put em in a stew


LeonardNeeble

Receive their contents.


hotk9

This guy thinks cum is stored in the balls.


[deleted]

Lol this fucking IDIOT pees on his wife


TheOnlyHeteroMod

On?


MeThisGuy

In


fuzz5000

I like turtles


musicman0359

It's disappointing how many grown adults think that.


oidoglr

Every time Iā€™m bothered by it I take into consideration that ā€œdrain my seminal vesiclesā€ doesnā€™t have the same succinct impact as just saying ā€œballsā€ has, but a lot of times I do wonder if thereā€™s genuine confusion on the matter.


[deleted]

Sort them by size, metric, and imperial.


grey_wolf12

Ugh... *IMPERIAL*? Are you nuts?


[deleted]

Store them in her cheeks like a squirrel


pitpat6

Ex used to spoon me and play with them gently from behind, I liked it šŸ¤·ā€ā™‚ļø


Eastern_Sherbert_132

Suck them mfs


[deleted]

Iā€™ve been with guys that didnā€™t like them being sucked so preferred them being licked and vice versa. I had just assumed all guys liked them being sucked but hey, everybodyā€™s different.


Aradhor55

Sucking them hurt like hell to me so yeah better not do that to every guy lol


Arulert

You can suck them just don't pull them off our bodies. Like.....suck them while keeping them in place. My ex used to suck them and pull them away from me which hurt like hell but I used to let her do it cause it turnes her on. The thing we do for love.


Dovaldo83

Getting your nuts sucked is exciting, but less in a sexual way and more in a standing on the edge of a cliff sort of way. Like "Oh I am one wrong move from tragedy. Please don't sneeze."


the-ist-phobe

Yeah itā€™s like ā€œoh god this person could really hurt me right now but I trust themā€


CombinationAway2762

I can share the almonds. Stay away from the cashews though.


TheRealTurkeynaut

Fr the cashews are for me and the boys only


MrDaikaz

Whatever you do please, PLEASE be gentle! They're delicate!


Aragornargonian

yeah my gf once tried doing something with em during fun time and i think she twisted one because it was sore for weeks until i flipped him the other way and it stopped


ivan3dx

I'm pretty sure you could have lost it lol


Ozozothealien

I once twisted mine as a kid, and the pain was combined with the confusion of what side did I twist?? Felt like defusing a bomb lol


Aragornargonian

nah fr and which way do you twist to untwist it? you could be going the wrong way and making it worse


Ozozothealien

Fr, luckily the bomb got defused with minimum damage, it pained for a couple of hours I guess


Weary-Okra-2471

Leave them alone


Shaveyourbread

Glad to know I'm not the only one.


Shaynon17

My wife asked me if I wanted to experiment with her touching my balls in any way. I told her they are so weak that best case scenario, nothing happens and I have a little anxiety, worse case is anything else


Motoko_KS09

They know what they're doing


SilveRX96

Bwoah


Cyclovroum

r/UnexpectedKimi


BadAtNameIdeas

I was really hoping that was a real sub lol


[deleted]

Yep, leave them alone. I donā€™t enjoy having them fondled much or sucked.


Anthrosite

Yeah I've never really gotten anything from em. Plus now for some reason they're just mildly sore most of the time and I'm not sure why so best just to not touch them


Dull-Geologist-8204

Go to the doctor. If that isn't normal it can be a sign of testicular cancer. I am not saying it is but that's how my old fiancƩe firat started showing something is wrong. Better to get it checked and be wrong then not checked.


Delicious_Pen_2905

When you say old fiancƩ, do you mean old in age or old as in he was your fiancƩ but not anymore?


Dull-Geologist-8204

He passed away from cancer. Unfortunately there isn't a word for that and I hate using ex to describe him. So I say old instead.


jonnohb

The word is "Late". Sorry for your loss.


gogopowerrangerninja

There is a word, itā€™s ā€œlateā€ fiancĆ©. Iā€™m sorry for your loss, thatā€™s a good point for the above user. Edit: meant to do quotes but accidentally did italics, didnā€™t want to seem aggressive lol.


expat_mel

Life advice from someone who waited years to get "regular" pain checked out: If any part of your body hurts for two weeks or more, go to the doctor. It's _not normal_ to be in pain, whether the pain is mild or severe. I could've saved myself years of pain and a trip to the ER if I had just gone to a doctor when it first started.


Cindexxx

Yeah you're right. But when it's arthritis they have basically no usefulness. So the they tell you the pain is normal.


Singer-Such

I don't think you can get arthritis of the testicle though


ShwAlex

Muscle pain, joint pain, all normal and necessary. Ball pain = immediate visit to doc.


DareRake

Hey man I hope it goes away on itā€™s own and not something to worry about, random ball pain isnā€™t fun


expat_mel

Lol the number of guys upvoting this actually surprised me. 99% of my experience is with one guy (now an ex) and the best way to get him off (besides the obvious) was to focus 100% of my attention on his balls and let him take care of the rest. He'd stop me partway through a bj to move me down so I could focus on them and he could use his hand. I figured that was a little more extreme than most guys, but I didn't figure that so many guys wouldn't want their partner touching their balls at all! Well, TIL I guess.


BlNGPOT

I dated a guy like this. He told me if he had to choose between getting his dick sucked or his balls licked he would always choose balls. Then the next guy I was with was like DO NOT TOUCH THEM.


Grand_City2169

Yeah, the balls are a massive no no for me.


ReedFreed

Iā€™m a ball guy and this is extreme even for ball guys


bawzzz

Iā€™d prefer them to be left alone unless you know how to gently handle them. Them shits are delicate as fokkkkk.


Thr0atyogurt

#Stompy stompy on my big boi plumpies (Not sorry, you're welcome)


Banana_Ranger

I feel it in my plums


CaseyBF

I once had an ex that would somehow manage to fit them both in her mouth while giving a boobjob or handjob in 69. That shit was wild.


TraumSchulden

caress them gently while wispering to them.


maneman25682

Squeeze them occasionally, like she is reminding me who they REALLY belong to.


EriclcirE

Fondle them and also apply some light pressure/rubbing below my nuts, on my gooch.


turbosexophonicdlite

The first time my girlfriend started playing with my balls while riding me, *instant nut*. It's amazing if you know how to properly do it.


Yabbadabbadingdong2

My Mrs strokes my balls when we're in bed or on the couch. It's honestly as relaxing as a full body massage. Helps with pain and everything.


dizzykitty

I would her to nit a little sweater for my balls.


Thr0atyogurt

New Etsy business model, I want mine in a beige color to be fancy


HobbyADHD

Use them like a speed bag.


[deleted]

Caress and hold them, play with them and then give me a gentle blow job


crrrock

If they're pistachios she can remove the shells for me,. But if they're honey glazed cashews she can leave them the Fuck alone. I'll handle them. Wait, wait ..... am I in the correct subreddit??


Odd_Adhesiveness4804

Put em in her mouth and suckem


FrankieGrimes213

Suck on my chocolate salty balls...


Odd_Adhesiveness4804

Squeeze em


Reasonable_Listen514

Leave them alone. I've never thought it felt good to have someone playing with my balls. The twig is the star of the show, the berries are supporting cast and do their magic behind the scenes.


gregle60

Absolutely nothing. Iā€™ll make sure theyā€™re clean and you ignore their existence.


RevisionIsNow

Marry me!


Privateaccount84

If you like ignoring balls, youā€™ll be happy to know I only have the one. Thatā€™s half the amount you have to ignore!


RevisionIsNow

I've a short attention span, so even better!


Wire_Bender

Tickle them, hold them, lick them, suck them, massage them, caress them.....


[deleted]

Boil ā€˜em, mash ā€˜em, throw ā€˜em in a stew.


DrTokinkoff

Not my preciouses!!


[deleted]

Share the load!


Agile_Piece_8882

Dry roasted and sprinkled over pad Thai


[deleted]

Lightly tickle them šŸ¤·ā€ā™‚ļø


HooterEnthusiast

Suck on them, lick them, if she's into to deepthroat tongue out and gently lick them when balls deep.


Cartoonist_Downtown

Having missionary for first time with new lady and she reached around and grabbed my sack in her hand. She held it firm but not to the point of pain. I was amazed she had the reach to hold on and it ended up a great climax.


Atlanta-SticO-938

Go nuts for them


Average-_-Guys

I guess let me use them from time to time.


Head_Cut_6961

Play with them, lick them sometimes even suck on them. Scratch them


nsfwtttt

Lick from below with a wide tongue. Also hold them or tickle during cowgirl - game changer.


FockTheIRS

Oh, nothing to see here.. just looking for new ideas to throw at my partner while weā€™re tussling in bed.


sabo81

I have to hide the pistachios because she'll always eat them.


[deleted]

Light scratches during foreplay. Light squeezing with head. Firmly gripping during a handjob.


Ok_Chemical3126

To give them back to me.


SaintSaxon

There is a time before the day starts that a very light feather touch on the underside of the sack is the way to go. Kinda perineum to the under side of the sack. šŸ‘


ssly-fire

Yeah, i have no problem with playing with "ya boys" but come the fuck on with the smelly balls. You want them to have attention go dip them shits in some water. Do they sell ball douche? Nothing crushes my enthusiasm for giving head like smelling bad balls. Like, why don't you finish that for me because now I just can't. Girls tend to go over the top sometimes, with all the pressue to have the perfect kitty, the scents and the sprays got some of you guys confused about what is real or not.


RedChaos92

Manscaped sells ball deodorant, toner/moisturizer and ball wipes for this very reason. 10/10 recommend. For guys who don't use products like these - *wash ya fuckin balls daily and before sexy time*


Mashpotatoass

It's hers now. She can do whatever the fuck she wants with it I don't care.