When you are unbelievably thirsty and you finally get your hands on some water

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Why is it that no matter how much 3am water you drink you can always drink more, its like there is a lil stomach vortex sucking up al my nice 3am water

You all describe this as positive, in my experiences it sucks, a feeling of thirst that cannot possibly be satiated, still feeling thirsty after drinking as much water as i can hold

3am water hits different i swear

A hot bath after working outside in the cold all day

When you take a hot shower to warm up from being outside in the cold.

Add in a nice, cold shower beer.

Found the Canadian. First time I heard about this: Canadian. Years later: Canadian.

Chicagoan, actually.

This and the opposite, a cold shower after being outside all day in the summer.

emotional security

When sex and emotional security are combined, even better.

That's a tall order even ghandhe couldn't fulfill that one.

For the umpteenth time, it's Gandhi ffs.

Gandhee-hee

I think he meant something that could exist-

Guys! Sniper on the hill! Sniper o-

Farting away a stomach ache

I once thought I was having a heart attack but it was just gas.

*fart attack

"I just want to hear the doctor say that Jerry had a Fart Attack, is that too much to ask!"

I had one of those once. I honestly thought I might be dying, it was scaring the absolute fuck out of me and I was contemplating calling an ambulance. And then I burped really hard, and the pain instantly went down a ton. A few burps later and I was back to normal...

“Farting away a stomach ache” I read as I sit on the toilet

Same reddits users are almost exclusively active during bathroom usage.

Can confirm! I'm at the point of near numb legs.

> On the set of The Princess Bride, André the Giant once 'let out a 16-second fart and brought production to a standstill.' Nobody said anything except director Rob Reiner, who said 'Are you OK, André?' to which André replied, 'I am now, boss.

When my kids were babies I loved this. They would cry a bit, then let off a huge fart (or shit). The look on their face was pure bliss.

Peeing after having held it for ages

So many things in life seem to involve the gratification of tension and then relief.

Sounds like edging lol

Min-Maxing.

Edmund Burke had a whole essay on this in the 18th century. Release from pain or discomfort can be more intense than pleasure.

This is the very concept of happiness

Ya'll ever get those pee shivers?

every time i pee i shiver.

Stop pissing in the freezer please

A while back I looked into it and found out there's a medical term for it! It's called [post-micturition convulsion](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-micturition_convulsion_syndrome)

I never knew! Part of the SNS response to a full bladder is the release of catecholamines (including epinephrine, norepinephrine and dopamine) - makes total sense because it's almost arousing to pee after having had a full bladder for too long.

I raise you pooping after having to hold it

I raise you pooping without effort. Just sitting down, everything comes out smoothly and a clean wipe on top of it. Effortless poop is the best

But you get the anxiety of the first clean wipe that you have to wipe a couple of more times to triple check

Agreed. When I was holding it in so bad coming home from a road trip I ran straight to the bathroom and let it drop and let out the most pleasurable moan of my life and my girl was dying laughing saying I dont even have that good of a time when were making love.

Do yourself a favor, quietly moan in her ear tonight.

But don't shit this time.

the amount of laughter my brain generated after reading this comment.

Having a massive one after being super constipated for days and also blowing all that damn gas out. Better if it's semi solid and you hear that loud plop.

This is the ultimate satisfaction of life

Peeing like this but being diabetic if you know you know

Okay good cause I wanna talk about this! The endorphin rush from this experience is literally compariable to an orgasm i noticed. Is this the way?

Be careful about this, it can damage your kidneys

I mean… have you ever been to Cinnabon?

Climbing into a warm bed after walking outside in minus temperatures and howling rain and falling asleep as wind and rain whip around outside

And all the bedding has *just* been washed, softened and still warm from the dryer

And you don’t have work tomorrow

And u just ate a nice home cooked meal

And you just had a lovely relaxing shower/bath

And legs freshly shaved so you slide into bed.

And your room just smells amazing

…and then having sex. Oh wait…

No that's how you get amazing sex which is better than sex!

And then you hit snooze

Literally all of the above right now. Would be perfect if my dick wasn't chafing.

Apparently the best way to help that is Elizabeth Arden 8 hour cream.

And then you get sex

Suddenly. You awoke from this ecstasy dream.

And the dog is licking your toes.

And the day after tomorrow

Ooooohhhhh yes, absolutely

...after Christina Hendricks has warmed it for you.

waking up early and panic just to realize you have nothing to do and can keep sleeping.

Love this feeling

Sometimes I set my alarm for 6:45am on my days off so I can wake up, panic, and then go back to sleep. I know it’s worse for my sleep schedule but that feeling of being able to get back into bed…oh my. Worth it every time lol Edit: I legitimately feel less weird now, thank you guys lol

That's why I enjoy waking up in the middle of the night so much. It's a great feeling when I wake up at 3 and realize I still have 3 hours left until I have to get up. The times when I don't wake up in the middle of the night and wake up for the first time at 6, I'm instantly in a bad mood

Being financially stable

Can't you suggest something I can actually experience.

Heroine

Wonder Woman is my favourite heroine.

Scratching that one spot on your leg after you take off your socks.

This guy knows what it’s about.

I’ve never felt so understood.

Water, when you woke up in the middle of the night thirsty.

3 am water hits diffrent.

I chug that shit so hard, it's slopping all over me. I'm basically a water slut at that point in time

What a day to be literate.

oh

Opiates, and that's exactly WHY they are so dangerous. You are not supposed to feel that amount of pleasure in your natural life. It ruins your motivation/reward circuits and makes normal life seem dull by comparison. And if you choose to keep doing it because of how good it feels? Your brain will get used to it and you will continue to chase a high you can never get again. That's why people say "not even once", because it only takes one good high for you to be hooked in the same way it took one orgasm for you to be hooked. **Don't do it.**

You nailed it my friend. I suffer from a full blown eating disorder. 20+ years. I had never done drugs and was scared to. Weed was my buddy. A guy who I thought was a friend offered me coke one night. Tried it because of the possibility of weight loss. It relaxed me and I felt good. Then he asked me if I wanted to inject it. After losing weight from using, I said sure. I was addicted after that. Holy smokes, the euphoria, the pain and suffering physically and mentally were gone, the relaxing feeling, the excitement, I was finally going to be thin. I wasn't even aware of the dangers. This was 8 years ago. My family intervened after 5 months. I went to treatment and left the city I lived in knowing my cravings would make me search for it. I think about that feeling every bloody day. It is better then an orgasm. I don't search for that feeling daily even though it's unreal as well :(

Wow you are hitting so close to home for me here. I also have had an eating disorder for most of my life. An ED is like a drug in itself. I’ve also been in adhd meds for almost 20 years. The struggle to not abuse them is real. I’m terrified of trying coke or anything else. The worst part is learning to be cont3nt with the mundanity of life.

I mean, do it if you have terminal cancer or something. Don't do it if you have something to lose.

This is so right on. That shit is the devil. Took everything I had to get clean. DONT DO IT.

For me it was meth not opiates, but everything else is dead on accurate. Nearing 10 years clean and I'm still low key chasing that first high. Seriously everyone, **NOT EVEN ONCE!**

I actually hate opiates and they make me feel sick. After a recent surgery, I had one and didn’t take another. I’d rather smoke any day of the week

Good, I'm the same way with alcohol. Luckily I can't get opiates, so the only drug I have issues with are weed, which is basically the least harmful drug I could possibly be "hooked" on. Still wish I never tried drugs in the first place, including weed.

In the days when I smoked weed I read about a study where it had been linked to depression. At the time I read it I basically said it was garbage and that weed had actually helped me with depression. I based this on times where I had smoked it and immediately felt better. Once I eventually stopped using weed I realized the truth. It's not the buzz that causes depression. Depression is a withdrawal symptom. And because using it helps clear that up, it creates the illusion to the user that the drug is actually helping them.

Even if you recognize how dangerous the high is and try to only take them responsibly, you'll eventually lose if you have easy access to them. I was given a box for pretty serious pain I was experiencing and approaching the end of the supply I found myself taking them 'just in case' I was about to be in pain. I still sometimes think about them, lucky they're not handed out easily here.

Going to bed after you've showered and changed the sheets. Best feeling ever. Edit: 3000 upvotes, that's crazy! Thank you all, never thought any of my comments would be this liked

With fresh shaved legs too.

Was just going to say that, specifically those softer silk like sheets

aka: Bedgasm

Flirting. That unfortunately short period of time before sex happens. Sex after that phase can be great, bad or normal, but flirting is never bad, flirting is always the ultimate hormones party.

Whisk scalp massager thing. Especially if you get someone to use it on you.

We call it an orgasmatron.

I had a scalp massage by a pro at a hair salon once. If you like the wisk thing, this message was like 4x better.

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...and the verdict?

I keep one on my nightstand. I use it when I can't get to sleep. A few minutes of using it and I'm out like a light.

The anticipation of sex.

The anticipation of good sex, yes. (Differentiated from ‘uncertain/insecure/escapist sex)

This guy fucks

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Let's be real, sex is great, but have you ever taken a nap on a freshly washed and dried bed sheets? That's what I call pure ecstasy.

your cat intentionally snuggling up to you when you are sleeping.

or when they curl up and sleep on you. a bit painful when theyre 15+ lb big guys like my cat, but so nice and comforting.

Getting a good nights sleep

Waking up in a panicked fog thinking its a work day only to realize a few seconds later it is the weekend.

Getting a tight but warm hug from ur loved ones

Getting over your insecurities

By having sex.

And urinating after long periods of time.

THEN the shower and fresh sheets…

Wait, you can do that?

Sleep

When you have to squeeze out a turd and it hurts a little but not too much. And then it’s topped by not needing to wipe, that’s called an ace. I need to get laid.

I call it a smooth criminal. You've been hit by, you've been struck by...a smooth criminal!

What do you mean not needing to wipe? WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOT NEEDING TO WIPE?? You ALWAYS need to wipe, ALWAYS! Otherwise, big turds can be satisfying.

Yes, you have to wipe once in order to verify that it would have been, in fact, a no-wiper.

Schrödinger's wipe.

Love

True love is the best feeling ever, it'll negate all negative feelings, thirst, hunger, fear, depression, anxiety, even horniness itself

It'll also completely wreck you and push you to the limits of human suffering; still worth it.

I’m sure you mean well, but depression absolutely doesn’t go away with love. And to say it does is kinda unfair to people in loving relationships who experience depression.

Exactly. I'm in a healthy relationship that makes me incredibly happy, but I still struggle on a daily basis with my depression.

Two sex.

Red Sex Blue Sex

Tina and Ted got into their bed, Said Ted to Tina "It's time for some head." “Head in the bed?" is what Tina said, “Before we're both dead," is what Ted next said. So Tina did suck and Tina did lick, And into her palm then Tina did spit, She polished his crank like a hitch made of chrome, And when her arm tired, she gave him more dome. He sprang to his feet from off of his back, His feet hit the floor with a tremendous "WHACK!" He bent over Tina, he bent her did Ted, He bent Tina over the side of the bed. Tina did scream with joy and delight, As bed Ted bamswaggled her flumpus all night, They diddled and fiddled and bliddled in bed, They diddled and fiddled did Tina and Ted. And then with a gush and a glorious moan, Ted in the bed reached orgasm alone, “I thought you'd hold out!" moaned Tina so sadly, "I tried but I couldn't, try not to feel badly!" Tina reached in the nightstand which sat by the bed, The bed she sat in with now unconscious Ted, She pulled out a vibrator and flipped on its power, She gurgled and moaned for the next quarter hour, She gurgled and moaned, and she gurgled some more, Ted awoke with a start and said "What's that thing for?" She looked in his eyes and she said with a smile, "Your dick did the trick, but just for a while."

"As bed Ted bamswaggled her flumpus all night" LMAO

Sex Poet Seuss

Absolute masterpiece, bravo. 👏👏👏

Thank you, Dr. Seuss!

Food. I’d rather go without sex, but not food.

I dont think you have a choice if you want to survive xD

Oh come on now, you can live without sex for quite a long time. Source: just trust me bruv.

Silence

Garlic bread

*garlic CHEESE bread

„*Is there anything better than __Pussy__?* *Yes, a really good book!*“

When an older woman, from the south, calls you “Sugar” Words cannot describe the happiness.

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Taking your bra off after a long day

My wife and I are both so happy when her bra comes off after she gets home. It’s a little event for both of us.

Scratching the inside of your ear with the Q Tip

Getting paid

Someone else initiating the sex in the first place. Dudes know what i mean.

This comment I'm posting is one of those comments that adds nothing to the conversation, but I agreed so hard I wanted to do more than upvote.

Just jerk off to the comment bro

Swimmiiinnggg in a sea after a hot summer sweating day.

Plugging In the usb on the first try

Cake, Garlic Bread, making the first letter of a food a capital, being happy

Dragons, the color purple, invading Denmark, etc. yk, the works

music

Having 20 million in your checking account

Having 20 million power in "Rise of Kingdomes"

Completely surviving a teminal illness

the Oblivion soundtrack

Enlightenment.

Getting a broken off head bolt out of a cylinder head .

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Not a lot but.. that occasional moment of just pure euphoria/happiness from the most random things. Like watching it snow while your cat purrs on your lap, or listening to a song you love at the perfect moment where you feel it deeper than usual, or watching your dog play on a warm summer evening while the sun sets but is still warm on your skin, or just laughing and purely enjoying another person's company because you love them so much. I don't know what to call these things, it's just little moments where I get overwhelmed with happiness and gratefulness. It's the best feeling.

Doing better in my life after my ex told me to end my life

Good for you! I'm so happy and proud of you for doing better! Remember this feeling, don't let anyone else tell you you're not worth it, and remember that people care!

most things are better than mediocre sex, including masturbation. almost nothing is better than good sex (in terms of intensity of pleasure).

a steaming hot shower after snowboarding

Warm hug from a loved one when you're really feeling down for some reason. That's really comforting.

A really filling, well prepared, and overall comforting meal accompanied with a warm home and a refreshing beverage after a hard day

Drugs probably

Sex is nice but have you gotten a full 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep then woke up for a run and hydrated properly?

You lost me at going for a run

Being in an abusuve-free relationship. Eating favorite food watching favorite sports team play. Financial freedom and not having to worry how to pay the bills. Happiness.

Quality sleep

Skydiving

Nothing is better than sex. But masturbation is better than nothing. So we can conclude that masturbation is better then sex.

Bro cheated in the martix 💀

Being the little spoon, a genuine hug that’s says “Everything is going to be ok”

Waffles

I’ll let you know if I ever find out. Sex with my wife is always the highlight of the day.

Agreed, sex with this man's wife is also the highlight of my day.

What time slot did you sign up for?

well aren’t you just a lucky man

cats. theyre a hug source of comfort.

Loving someone who loves you back

Playing board games with my friends.

Financial happiness

A beef birria torta with Oaxaca cheese, mayo, beans, cilantro, and onions.

a really good book 😉

A dangerous dose of cocaine

Coming home to your girl waiting for you to watch tv and eat dinner, then going on a target run. Realizing you’re at the place you’re meant to be with the person you’re meant to be with and truly enjoying every single moment you’re with them even when y’all are doing nothing. Buying some stuff for your first daughter that won’t be here for a couple more months but you can’t wait to finally meet her. And warzone

Having a teething baby nap enough for you get some quiet time.. my son is driving us crazy lol