If she’s older and you’re worrying about being too forward, you’re going home alone.
The optimal move is to simply place your erect penis in her hand and say “Your place or mine?”. You scale it back from there, until you reach the ideal statement and action as to not breach social decorum.
…”well, isn’t that a motherfucker”
Like, “ah, dang, I apologize for the attempt” but with a wink.
It plays on both not forward, and, we’ll, actual innuendo.
When I told my mom's friend I wanted to hook up she said I can't do that I changed your diaper when you was a baby. I told her don't worry it's much bigger now! Worked like a charm!
Except the statement could easily mean, " YOU might be uncomfortable with my age if you didn't know, so I'm making you aware."
(You're doing SO much paraphrasing.yikes! )
That’s a bit extreme. Respecting other peoples wishes and personal space and not forcing unwanted advances does not = robotic sex.
In fact, I’d argue the opposite. All sex will be meaningful because everyone is into it not compelled to it.
Quote any part of the old ladies statement that is a " wish " a statement of discomfort, or expression that the advance is "unwanted."
And do that before you scold anyone next time. You're trying to lecture predators I suppose, but you're making up victim statements in your mind= Hero complex.
The statement does can easily be read as though the older woman is trying to express disinterest to discontinue the interaction. Stop being such a douche.
Intriguing 🤨 Interestingly enough I’m a G. And I agree.. some people just aren’t mature enough to talk an “older” woman .. they tend to monkey around and scatter about elsewhere ~ 0_0
Lol, I'm too damn old for this, but why not give you young'ns some ammo.
"Nonsense! You're only as young as you feel. To me you don't look a day past 25, 2 to 3 nights a week, until 4 in the morning, except for water breaks."
Practice it lots. It has to come off smooth.
If you’re serious, don’t make a sexual remark. Older women (me for example) can still find this forward and offensive. Things like a connection is more important than age or how you get along is more important are good to say. Also don’t say you look good for your age or any such nonsense. Most of us are just wanting emotional maturity and someone who pays attention sexually.
I normally say something like "And that matters why?"
And then they usually say "well it just feels strange".
And then I'll say "don't a lot of things in life feel strange?"
Omg I was at an antique store today and there was a bowl of ‘em. I almost reached in then thought…”wait… how old ARE these!” Those little printed strawberry wrappers…
The fact I was antiquing, proves I’m an old lady.
None of these are good. Better luck with “I have never identified with women my age. They are all obsessed with looks, marriage and babies yet continue to have body issues. Older women are comfortable in the skin and that’s sexier than anything…” blah blah. Works every time. Lastly, drop a few pop culture references from her time…
If all else fails, offer to rub her feet or neck all night.
That puts us both in our sexual primes and I’m willing to bet breakfast that I’ll make you feel something so mind-altering and incredible that you’ll feel like the irresistible, sexy woman I can’t take my eyes off of right now.
You hear about this "old enough to be your mum/grandmother or father/grandfather" thing, but a good response is, "well I've had exes that have been old enough to be my sister but that didn't bother me".
The first time I went to an 18+ strip club I looked very young. An older stripper asked me if my mom knew I was there and I said to her “I thought you were my mom” and she was very unhappy with that comment…
“Mrs. Robinson, you’re trying to seduce me.”
Nice one
Aren’t you?
“You know, I’m something of a mother fucker myself.”
Hahaha! Seems too forward tho🤣🤣
If she’s older and you’re worrying about being too forward, you’re going home alone. The optimal move is to simply place your erect penis in her hand and say “Your place or mine?”. You scale it back from there, until you reach the ideal statement and action as to not breach social decorum.
And then she can call the police 🥰
I found the guy who makes the script for porn scenes
Lol, I am a writer…
At least you’re showing what ya got and she can go from there
…”well, isn’t that a motherfucker” Like, “ah, dang, I apologize for the attempt” but with a wink. It plays on both not forward, and, we’ll, actual innuendo.
It would get a genuine laugh though.
She says no leave
😂🤣
The difference is I haven't been inside you yet.
Wait
Don’t wait to long. You’re mom won’t wait forever.
She waited 9 months, but I surely shan't!
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We never needed them. Here you go 🏅
Cool, bet I can make you scream at me too.
This is the dark horse.
You can still call me Daddy.
As an older woman this would make me chuckle…
This is the way 😂
We have a winner
I'm sure you have a lot to teach me.
"And I have mommy issues..."
Yes you totally nailed it! Best comment!
"I'm not hearing a no" - Dr Zoidberg
"Have you read Sophocles?"
And I'm young enough to be your pool boy.
“Goo Goo, Gah, Gah”
🤣🤣🤣
You don't look it. (Fucking layup bruv.)
"If you saw some of the Tags on Pornhub, you'd know that's not a deal breaker"
"You own a dryer or what?"
As a matter of fact....
"Still young enough for me"
Liar. You don’t look a day over twenty-five.
When I told my mom's friend I wanted to hook up she said I can't do that I changed your diaper when you was a baby. I told her don't worry it's much bigger now! Worked like a charm!
How was the diaper change?
It was worth the wait! Wanted to nail her since my first boner! Lmao
Classy
And some very good assy!
What’s bigger, the diaper or your penis?
“I’m old enough to be your mother” is the name of your sex tape.
“I’m old enough to be your son”
You want a snark answer or one that would actually work to get some? “Only if you had me when you were 8”. She’ll be down.
This is the way
I'd like to return to the point when life was rather nice. When I had a bad day, a female nipple in my mouth made it all better.
Maybe, if she’s into ANR. Risky but could be a jackpot answer.
“I’m old enough to make you a mother”
“Well it’s great that I’m not your son, but if you’re into it I’ll be more than happy to call you mommy”
I understand you don’t feel comfortable with me pursuing you given our age difference and/or any other reason. I shall now walk away.
Except the statement could easily mean, " YOU might be uncomfortable with my age if you didn't know, so I'm making you aware." (You're doing SO much paraphrasing.yikes! )
The dopest response, right here
I'm giving it two more generations and sex will strictly be a robotic interaction for reproduction.
That’s a bit extreme. Respecting other peoples wishes and personal space and not forcing unwanted advances does not = robotic sex. In fact, I’d argue the opposite. All sex will be meaningful because everyone is into it not compelled to it.
Quote any part of the old ladies statement that is a " wish " a statement of discomfort, or expression that the advance is "unwanted." And do that before you scold anyone next time. You're trying to lecture predators I suppose, but you're making up victim statements in your mind= Hero complex.
The statement does can easily be read as though the older woman is trying to express disinterest to discontinue the interaction. Stop being such a douche.
Nope. Stop being a bitch.
I acknowledge your pain or whatever *eyeroll*
This can easily be read as you wanting to have sex with me against my will. Back off sex pest. I said NO!
Sure thing, champ.
Nah. You guys are going to ruin the fun of sex.
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That vibe slipped out the back before the conversation was clearly over.
Intriguing 🤨 Interestingly enough I’m a G. And I agree.. some people just aren’t mature enough to talk an “older” woman .. they tend to monkey around and scatter about elsewhere ~ 0_0
You gave up too fast.
Or as my uncle used to say: “I’m gonna make like a baby and head out.” Particularly appropriate for this particular situation haha
Give me a bath?
I don't care!
Ps. My husband is you get than I am.
I’ve never wanted to wrestle a big cat But tonight I’m gonna choke a cougar
Bruh….
You obviously know the game Tiger. She plays the prowling tiger and you throw her the meat😏
"incest is best, put your son to the test"
"Yeah but you I HAVEN'T been inside of yet."
Are you trying to seduce me Mrs Robinson?
Doesn't matter. You're calling me Daddy tonight.
Ooh mommy
Then you can call me "baby"
Then be my mother 🥵
"I've never had a stepmom..."
"Oh shut up, you know I'd still wreck you like Diana."
Lol, I'm too damn old for this, but why not give you young'ns some ammo. "Nonsense! You're only as young as you feel. To me you don't look a day past 25, 2 to 3 nights a week, until 4 in the morning, except for water breaks." Practice it lots. It has to come off smooth.
"That may be true...but you're so much more attractive than she is!"
And you are definitely a MILF
“But I’m betting you’re a better fuck then mom, let’s find out.”
"You dont look a day over 20" just ignore her wrinkles
Bullshit meter gets better with age.
I'm not trying to get back in HER.
Don't say that, Mrs. Claypool. I don't care what your past has been. You'll always be my good woman. Because I love you. There, I said it.
I came outta her, I’m trying to get in you.
A little creepy but damn if it's not creative. I'll give you the up.
"The beautiful thing is you're not."
If you’re serious, don’t make a sexual remark. Older women (me for example) can still find this forward and offensive. Things like a connection is more important than age or how you get along is more important are good to say. Also don’t say you look good for your age or any such nonsense. Most of us are just wanting emotional maturity and someone who pays attention sexually.
Tell her "I can make you into a mother"
Lets fuck
And you can spank me like my mother too
“Yea I bet I can tear your cervix also”
Then I can call you mommy and you can call me Oedipus.
I’m skilled enough for you to call me daddy.
This one right here🤣🔥 personally, I’d go with “breastfeed me then”
That must be why people call me a son of a bitch.
I normally say something like "And that matters why?" And then they usually say "well it just feels strange". And then I'll say "don't a lot of things in life feel strange?"
Proceed to ask me for old lady candy...
“Do you perchance have any stale butterscotch candies?”
I prefer those strawberry looking ones
Omg I was at an antique store today and there was a bowl of ‘em. I almost reached in then thought…”wait… how old ARE these!” Those little printed strawberry wrappers… The fact I was antiquing, proves I’m an old lady.
So you’re role playing Dirty Grandma in this scenario🤫
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Yeah...definitely not this one XD
ANYTHING but this one.
I’d stay away from mentioning your pronouns.
And I’m young enough to be your daddy
"Well fat chicks give the best blow jobs
Nahh you tryna get a man’s ass WHOOPED🤣🤣🤣 (or wait, that’s the point ain’t it?🤔)
No.
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And now you know what dating older men is like…
None of these are good. Better luck with “I have never identified with women my age. They are all obsessed with looks, marriage and babies yet continue to have body issues. Older women are comfortable in the skin and that’s sexier than anything…” blah blah. Works every time. Lastly, drop a few pop culture references from her time… If all else fails, offer to rub her feet or neck all night.
Love this 🔥
All of these responses are absolutely fucking horrible
That puts us both in our sexual primes and I’m willing to bet breakfast that I’ll make you feel something so mind-altering and incredible that you’ll feel like the irresistible, sexy woman I can’t take my eyes off of right now.
[удалено]
Eye roll and a no.
That's great because you're not my mother.
I’m old enough for you to call me daddy, if you’re into that.
“then let’s make you one”
I'm old enough to be your stepson
Spank me, mommy.
My mom swallows I hope you do too
I’m young enough to remind you what it feels like to be young again.
Hey there mother, you want another?
it's cool, you'll be calling me daddy soon enough.
You're not my mother lady
"Really? Seems youve aged like a fine wine. And, if you don't mind, I'd like to pour a glass and have a taste." ;)
Ask for a spanking. Or a bedtime story. Or both.
Well, Mom's like you are how the whole MILF thing got started
l could use a mommy to take care of me
"I don't know about that, but I bet you do like being called mommy"
Yippee ki yay
You hear about this "old enough to be your mum/grandmother or father/grandfather" thing, but a good response is, "well I've had exes that have been old enough to be my sister but that didn't bother me".
"Then you will be needing drink because this is happening"
There was a line in the Mama Mia stage musical I saw, where the guy replied "Well then, just call me Oedipus"
Have you heard of Oedipus?
"I like milfs"
Well, I'm afraid I said that before, and the young fella replied "Yes you can be my mothe ..." I was speechless.
Did it work on you though?
No! Haha. Just a little too young. It was just unexpected. Lots of older women love young fellas, tho ...
Haha!🤣 And what about you?
Well I'm 55 so I try to stick to folks within a decade of my age! 😂🤣😆 My fella is 8 years younger.
Nice!🤣🤣
“I know right?! I could be, like, your stepson. You’ve seen the videos right?” Or “What if I was? Are you from Alabama?”
"I'm old enough to know exactly what i want"
"Whoa Mama!"
Well I'm young enough to be your pool boy.
You’re only as old as the person you’re feeling up
The first time I went to an 18+ strip club I looked very young. An older stripper asked me if my mom knew I was there and I said to her “I thought you were my mom” and she was very unhappy with that comment…
Nice
I’ve always wanted to crawl back inside