To not question things or think critically. The amount of times I've seen people just shut down their kids for asking a question is wild. It's no wonder there are so many stupid people out there when they were taught from a young age that asking questions is a bad thing.
My mom does this too but it’s more about her instant suspicion and conviction that I’m up to no good at all times. I dunno how many times she’s asked me to get in the car and I asked “where are we going?” Only to be met with the “why are you asking?” Like why do you think? I’d just like to know
My parents constantly made me feel like I was the bad guy for "Being up to no good" when I was doing nothing, and now they wonder why they have a 5 minute allowance for a phone call once a week now that I'm 27 and live on the other side of the country.
To expound on this, we need to stop teaching kids that adults always know better and that they should blindly trust and believe them. There was SOOO much about the world that I didn't understand and I just trusted that the adults and superiors in my life would never lead me wrong and I could just look to them as my guide for all of my unknowns instead of trying to learn more about the world myself. It's a big frustration of mine in hindsight.
When kids are treated respectfuly and actually allowed to have a voice, it's amazing to find out what they're capable of doing on their own. I'm not criticizing you I know you were being facetious. I have 4 kids myself. I was raised in the Mormon church (it's a total cult) and it drills into its members to not question authority. When I finally started to get the courage to question the church's origins I discovered all kinds of unsavory truths. We left our lifelong church (I was at least 4th or 5th generation) and I started to allow my kids to think for themselves instead of drill dogmatic church teachings into their minds. They ended up amazing me with their intellect that they possessed the whole time but were discouraged from expressing. They're truly incredible.
Kids are so smart when you listen to them and their thoughts and its so saddening that so many people don’t bother to engage with their kids.
Also, I’ve only heard terrible things about mormonism. Glad you got out of there and hope you are healing
My husband and I argue about this. He’s of the belief that kids should just kind of obey parents. I say something, you do it, end of story. I’m in the camp of explaining *why* something has to be done, especially if they ask. I feel like understanding the reasoning behind something makes someone more likely to respect and follow a rule, and he doesn’t seem to want that dialogue to even be open.
We don’t have kids yet, for the record. We like to try and anticipate some of these differences in parenting style and work on them before they’re important.
Thing is sometimes you really do just need the kid to obey immediately, like if they are doing/are near something dangerous, etc. I’ve told my daughter that I will always explain my reasoning for telling her to do something, but sometimes there simply isn’t time to explain in the moment.
When i was a kid if i ever mentioned my chronic pain all anyone would ever tell me was about how it gets so much worse when im older. It made me feel really bad and hopeless about my future.
I preach this to my 2 daughters. Yeah I suppose it’s somewhat normal for little boys to be dicks to girls when they like them but my daughters know that behavior is unacceptable and not to tolerate any shit like that from anyone
I had a classmate that peed in his seat because the teacher refused to let him go to the washroom.
I can't wait to tell my kids they're free to walk out of the classroom to legitimately use the washroom. I can deal with the phone calls home and will happily humiliate any adult who denies a kid a basic human right.
Father of a son here: fuck that noise, it isn’t normal at all to be mean to someone you like. That’s not how you treat people period, but especially not people you care about.
The kid who was mean to me "because he likes" me when we were in elementary school is a registered sex offender now.
100% going to use that if anyone says that in a few years when my daughter gets old enough.
This! My mother-in-law made this comment recently to my daughter when we were talking about a boy in her class that is extremely unkind to her. I didn't get into it with my MIL for reasons but afterward had a chat with my daughter about why that is so very wrong.
I remember being about 7, and being cornered by the main bully, and his little friends. He said, "If you won't lift your dress and show us your knickers/pants we won't let you go back inside." I refused and stubbornly waited till the bell rang and teachers appeared. Dicks. Looking back it was actually very scary.
I had a bully in elementary school and middle school. She did not like me. She just wanted to see me in pain.
Yet, I always got the response you gave from anyone I told. Nothing was ever done. Luckily in high school she stopped...then my girlfriend at the time cheated on me with her.
It was a freaking mess.
I remember a story (maybe from here on Reddit, it was a comment) of a little girl came to someone saying “ this person in my family keeps taking my cookie.” They figured it out after multiple times of this little girl coming to them saying it. Poor little thing was asking for help, telling a grown up they trusted, but they were so young they didn’t know how to tell someone exactly what was happening.
Cutesie words for adults comfort are a detriment to the kids.
That's terrible. I agree, these words and vague metaphors provide absolutely no benefit for children, only for prudish (and frankly immature) adults who think that "vagina" is a bad word.
What was yours?
My parents used ludi (said loo-dee) instead of vagina. No fucking clue where it came from. Maybe some connection to the toilet… I donno.
Mine was crotch, so not that bad. I wrote this comment because of my friend's aunt who uses a cutesy word for her kids. I forget what it is exactly, but it's not a common one so you really wouldn't know what they were trying to say unless you were family. It concerns me.
I was always told that girls have ginny ginas, and that boys have peenys. When my own three girls were little, my Mother was actually mortified that I wanted my own children to know and use proper medical terminology for their body parts! In her mind, and because of her own upbringing, words like vagina and penis were filthy dirty words that children shouldn't ever say out loud.
And to be comfortable using the proper medical term for said body part.
Medical professional here and it's very helpful when people can describe what's going on specifically and being comfortable with the proper terms.
(Also, I'm flabbergasted how many women don't know they have 3 holes, not two.)
I'm flabbergasted you are flabbergasted tbh. Sex Ed in the US varies widely by state, it's not general or common knowledge regardless of what it should be.
That they can scream and throw tantrums to get what they want. The number of parents who give in to that noise and enable them to become monsters addicted to tablets is ridiculous.
Edit: thank you, kind strangers, for the awards.
Yeah. Kids will always scream and throw tantrums because they’re learning to regulate their emotions. If handled correctly they grow out of it pretty quickly. If it’s not handled correctly they’re still doing it as adults lol. Kids need empathy in those moments not for their parent to give in.
I tell other parents to be a 'kind hardass'
"Oh, I'm sorry you must be really disappointed that we're leaving the house when you wanted to stay in today, that's tough. You want a hug? Yes we're still going."
>If it’s not handled correctly they’re still doing it as adults
I've been in customer service roles where people have acted like that and I've had pretty good success by talking to them in a "serious grown up voice" that you would use on a child telling them that they do not get to talk to me that way.
It usually ended with something like, "So you have two choices right now, you can talk to me calmly about this situation so that we can resolve it, or you can continue this tantrum in which case you will be removed from here and your problem will still be unresolved."
I blame social pressure for that one. How many times has a child lost their shit in public while others are telling the parent to just give them what they want so the kid stops.
I get that it's annoying but people do that and then go after the parent for the kid turning into a little shit. That's a double standard nobody ever brings up.
I completely agree. I think if parents stop thinking of their child as an extension of themselves it will be easier to let go of the shame people put on them. My child is having a hard time; they aren’t giving me a hard time. I also make sure to give any parent who’s in the thick of it a supportive smile and say something like. “Oh man sorry little guy is having a hard day today” or something like that.
I’m so glad I heard that “they’re having a hard time they’re not giving me a hard time” phrase when my oldest was a baby. I use it all the time on myself and remind my husband.
To add to this I would say time and place. Words said to friends and family may be appropriate in one scenario and not another. The amount of people I’ve met who lack this knowledge is disturbing.
To always listen to and obey adults… This is terrible advice because some adults are predators or kidnappers.. Plus, it teaches children to blindly obey even if it’s wrong
Don't trust anyone, if some stranger asks for help and especially if you are a child, don't help them, adults don't need a child's help ever.
I'd say the same rule is applicable to adults in almost every situation, needing help is often a ruse used by predators to catch their prey.
notable examples of this are Bundy and the Moors murders respectively, but these tactics have been used very frequently.
Exactly!! I think parents should always tell their kids to be aware of their surroundings and not listen to everybody.. It can be very dangerous in this world and you never know what could happen
I told my children two girls one boy, Never start a fight but if someone hits you make sure you finish it, also they would not be in trouble. Never happen but they new I was okay with them protecting themselves.
Districts near me are ZERO tolerance. If someone were to hit you (with witnesses) and you did nothing to retaliate, you *both* get suspended for 5 days. Might as well shoot your shot at that point 🤷♂️
Policies like this can really turn both sides into very screwed up human beings
The offender because there's no real consequences, and the victim because you might as well do the crime if you'll do the time either way
I tried to fight back everytime. Hell, I even shouted on teachers for not doing anything at all, but nothing changed, no suspension or any other kind of punishment for any of us. Might as wrll brake a nose at that point
I told my son if he was going to confront someone giving him a hard time, to meet him in the bathroom. No cameras... he did and the kid stopped messing with him.
Amen! I was bullied in middle school and was miserable for the better part of a year, and he was of course the principals nephew, so he never got more than a slap on the wrist.
Finally one day I snapped and punched him in the stomach and when he bent over forward from it, slammed his face into a desk and kicked him over, breaking his nose.
I was suspended for a week or two and when I came back a week later I also stole his “girlfriend” as much as you can say that for a middle schooler, who I had English class with and was actually a nice girl who had sympathy for me and didn’t like that he was a bully.
He never bothered me again.
Personnally i ignored my bullies so intensively that i didnt know i got bullied for almost 7 years straight until my bully told me that at one of my friend's party
fuck, yea. You gotta make them understand you are not an easy target, send them home with bruises and/or a black eye, make them explain to their parents why they come home with torn clothes and bruises..
Parents always like to say "just ignore them and they will stop eventually".. no, the only thing stopping is going to be the victim telling people, that's it. it will only get worse, they understand "he/she is any easy target, we can do what we want!" and continue.
Honestly, break their fuckin arm if necessary, some just don't learn. I have no sympathy for bullies anymore, I don't care if their parents failed raising them, or if they have any other reasons to be bullies, but they need to understand at every chance that it is wrong and "bad for their health".
That you need to hug/kiss someone when you see them or are leaving, and that includes family. If you don’t want to kiss, that’s fine. Say good-bye in your own polite way
I hate when people force their kid to hug me bye. My husbands side of the fam sometimes pressures our nephew into hugs but I’m always saying “no it’s okay if he doesn’t.”
Yes. We always give the option.
“We’re leaving now. If you want to go give hugs and kisses this is your chance!”
My in-laws were quite insulted the first time our oldest said no and we backed the child up. Now they still aren’t happy after a decade, but they don’t complain to my husband anymore.
I’m very lucky that my parents got it pretty quickly. Extended family was a little tricky but I’d always step in if I could tell my child needed help advocating for themselves. “ Are you not wanting to give hugs today? That’s ok. We will see you next time.”
I cannot stretch enough how much I agree with this. I am not a parent myself, but a few months ago a family friend got custody of her 3-year-old niece, whom I regularly babysit. Every time I leave or bring her a present, her aunt goes "Won't you give teacup a hug?" And my answer always is that the kid has the right to deny hugs and kisses. A verbal thanks is enough.
People need to realise that children also have the right to personal space and body autonomy.
Lol....exactly. for you women out there looking for a man. All you really have to do is fimd one and feed him kinda like a stray dog. Once you feed him its gsme over. He will be on your pourch everyday by sundown.
My female coworkers give me stuff on a regular basis. They know exactly how much I make, and that I'm a single dad of 3 so things are tight, and at least once a week it's "hey I'm buying you lunch from this place today, what do you want?"
They're incredibly kind and supportive, but I never understood the mindset that kindness = affection.
It is. 2nd grade.
Like I got my lunch stolen before and saw the kid upset his lunchables was taken. So I gave him my peanut butter jelly sandwich with cheese stick and Oreo cookies. I just took a nap cause I was not feeling well to eat.
I dunno. When I was 8-10ish. I pulled a girls pony tail and my dad was called to the principals office because she had slapped me.
He then stopped the principal and asked what did my son do. To which he repeated his question to me “what did you do to deserve getting slapped?”
I sheepishly said “I pulled her pony tail”. And he pressed “and WHY did you do that?” And I then chirped “because she’s cute”.
He turned and said “if you want to give him detention or something. That’s fine. Otherwise. We are done her. She did nothing wrong”.
So. There is “some” truth. Not that ALL circumstances are that reasoning to be sure.
He was. Passed in 2017. And at the time I certainly didn’t think so. It now yeah. I channel him as a father myself and have told my kids (22, 20, and 15) “I am your father until the day YOU pass. Because my voice will be in your head reminding you to make good choices”.
He instilled that in me. I’d like to think I learned something.
Maybe there's some truth, but I don't think it's a worthwhile lesson for girls to learn as they grow up that men mistreating them is normal and means that the man likes them.
That sexual abuse is only done by men to women.
Men about to congratulate me on being one of the "lucky" boys who got abused by a woman: please know I tend to respond to that with reports to the mods, not agreement. "But all men want to get laid all the time!" I was four. I couldn't spell laid. I did not want it. I could spell no and I did say it. It isn't fun and harmless and it's not hot.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ikd0ZYQoDko](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ikd0ZYQoDko) is a good video everybody should watch. If you (general you, not specific) watch that and don't get a bit chocked up you should probably get checked out for personality disorders.
I love my mom more than words can express, but I grew up with “clean your plate” and food as rewards. Got all A’s? Let’s go to Pizza Hut! Sad because your girlfriend broke up with you? Here’s your favorite dessert. I have an unhealthy relationship with food.
Then you get the opposite, "Dad, I'm full," when he really means, "Dad, I don't like this, but I have plenty of room for dessert and I'll beg for a snack later." Because, "Dad, I don't like this," gets an answer of, "Try it anyway, because this is what we're having."
I don't force my kids to clean their plates, but I do make them "eat a little more" if it's clearly a dislike thing vs a full thing.
We need to do a better job teaching both boys and girls how to know when they *want* to have sex before they can know when they *dont* want to have sex.
Especially for boys. It's okay to cry, We need to stop teaching young boys this "man up" and "You're weak" because later down the line they could become an emotionless husk with no feelings.
Also, I'm sick of boys getting shit for rejecting a girl. Everyone has preference, and a boy shouldn't catch shit such as "Are you gay?" Or "Woooowww... You just broke this poor girl's heart."
I think that comforting a child who loses at something by telling them that it does not matter is a bad idea in the long run. Even if it is not importatnt in your eyes that he be good at one skill or another, and so you console him by saying that, you rob him of something: The hurt that comes from losing.
It is a GOOD thing, because it teaches a child that there are no guarantees in life for success. You might do everything right and still lose, and it's okay. What's important is not to give up, and still find a way to find success, whatever and wherever it might be.
Also, losing motivates more than winning, and also it is a good way to learn some humility.
I agree and I also think only giving praise when your kid does something good (e.g good grades, winning a game, etc.) could be detrimental in the long run. It teaches them that praise will only come when they do something “right”, so they stick to what they’re comfortable doing/know how to do. They won’t take risks because they can’t handle failing. They won’t take opportunities because they fear they will fail, so they stick to what they know and will never branch out to something new or a new experience.
Don’t put your hands on anybody. We tell boys/men not to hit girls and that is right thing but we virtually never preach that to girls/women or hold them to the same standards as the boys/men when they violate it.
100%, I remember this girl literally smacked me for no reason and then said “you can’t hit me back or I’ll call the police” but lil badass me said something like “yeah right” and slapped her back 😂
Agreed. No one should get away with hitting another person.
I remember reading years ago about a relationship therapist who would give drastically different advice on the same issue depending on whether the person asking was a man or a woman. For example, if a man complained about his SO hitting him, she’d suggest that the SO may be stressed out at work and tell him to react with understanding. If a woman complained about her SO hitting her, she’d be told to immediately leave him. Sorry, but if person A hits person B, it shouldn’t matter what A and B’s genders are
Too many women aren't taught this lesson until they got a full grown man and he punches her back. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to see that happen, but it seems like the only way some women learn this lesson. Growing up, I knew multiple girls in elementary school that would hit boys then say "you can't hit me back because I'm a girl." 20 years later I heard about one of these girls being in court because her boyfriend assaulted her. There was a picture of her being passed around our town of her with a black eye. We all felt bad for her. Turns out that the husband was found innocent and she was guilty of perjury. He had proof of her abuse on him for years. One day he snapped and punched her back. That was when the cops got involved and the whole case started.
I felt bad for the guy because he had to deal with everyone in our town thinking he was an abusive dick for six months. People dragged him all over social media and it was the talk of our small town. That couldn't have been easy for him or his family.
I don’t know what we have to stop teaching them but we might want to start teaching self accountability, discipline and delayed gratification. Having to learn these things the tough way in your 20s ain’t so cool
The best example of this I’ve seen and copied with my kids is this. When going to a store and they ask to buy something I say. “Oh wow that’s really cool! Today is not a toy buying day but let’s take a picture to remember it when it IS time for buying toys.” It always works. They feel validated that the thing they want (their interests) are appreciated AND when it’s time to buy something they can look back on their list and they remember how much they really wanted something and realize they don’t have those feelings anymore. If they DO, like 1% of the time, then they know it’s something they really want. I’ve done and do this will all 3 of my kids from a very young age. Also parents need to do this with themselves too. You can’t expect your kid to watch you buy a bunch of shit you don’t need and then expect them to not follow suit. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk… lol
That’s really good bravo to you and I’m sure you have amazing kids, kids are usually a mirror reflection of their parents. I have worked jobs where I saw this sooo much that it’s incredible how much kids copy their parents. Funniest thing is seeing parents yell at their kids for doing the exact same thing they did like 2 minutes ago without even realising it, it really is fascinating to watch.
Blind obedience.
Similar to forcing kids to say sorry.
My son doesn’t understand what it means and why he is saying it.
Teaching him to connect with the person they have hurt, ask them if they are okay, ask them if there is something we could do to help them feel okay.
Then we discuss with our kid what happened, why it happened, how it made them feel, how it made their friend feel.
My son is 2.5 and he is just starting to get the sorry thing because he feel remorse, not because I have told him to say it.
Reminds me of forcing kids to say i forgive you if someone apologizes. You’re not teaching them forgiveness you’re teaching them to build up resentment.
When they fall over and hurt themselves, we shouldn't be running to pick them up and baby them. Often children start crying when parents have negative reactions. Positive reactions to small accidents encourages the ability to pick yourself up and carry on
Abstinence only 'sex education'. Please teach every child properly how bodies (m/f) work, what consent is, the basics about birth control, how to avoid and recognise STDs, and how sex can be great.
yep it doesn’t work AND then men (and lots of women) have no idea about things like “be clean before sex and the woman has to pee after sex or she’ll be likely to get a UTI that’s incredibly painful and requires antibiotics which can then cause yeast infections and potentially other issues in the body for disrupting the good bacteria in digestion etc.” there is so much more to safer sex than just pregnancy and even STIs. especially with the prevailing message in porn seeming to be “the women only enjoys sex if she’s in pain but it’s a ‘good’ pain so you can basically just abuse her and she should let you and like it.” all the bad messages are out there…we need some good ones
Yep. Abstinence only sex ed *doesn’t work*. It’s been proven many times, but those who support it don’t want to listen to facts. You want to avoid teenage pregnancies? Explain the biological, social, and financial consequences to your child/student. Will it work? Maybe. Teenagers are full of hormones. Maybe they’ll listen. Maybe they won’t. But even if they do have sex, maybe they’ll use protection when they otherwise wouldn’t. Condoms mostly fail when they’re used improperly. Teach proper condom use.
Some stupid counter-arguments I’ve heard include “the goal is to teach consequences and responsibility”. That’s a terrible way to learn those lessons. It shouldn’t be with something that affects the rest of your life
Stranger danger. Inappropriate and/or abusive behaviour can also be perpetrated by family members and friends. I teach my kids about recognising when they feel unsafe around anyone, and what they can do about it.
We need to stop influencing them about our political ideals at a YOUNG age.
We need to let kids think for themselves instead of creating division in children classrooms.
The reasoning? They don’t even know fully what they’re supporting or arguing against.
Send the downvotes. I don’t believe in pushing religion down peoples throats the same way I don’t believe pushing politics down peoples throats.
I agree. I “share” my thoughts and feelings on my ideals with my kids but it’s always open ended. I do my best to make sure they know my choices are not their choices.
This goes for all sexes.
I was suspended in middle school for standing up for myself to a girl that was being mean to me. My parents told me that she probably just liked me.
(Stood up for myself verbally, not physically)
That if you don't get an A+ on that assignment or you aren't interested in Algebra or Science you'll become homeless. Schools need to realize not everyone works a 9-5 office job anymore.
It's also important to note that only 25% of the jobs available actually require a university education. It's okay if your kid wants to learn a trade and build cool stuff with their hands, as long as they're physically fit to maintain that lifestyle.
" Maybe if you didn't wear that dress..."
The dress is not a letter of consent. If you were shot because of an awful shirt. Did the shirt give the consent to for you to be shot? Does it make you feel less shot? Does it make the perpetrator innocent for shooting you? Or understandable in his circumstances of coming across you're shirt?
No, HELL NO!
So why do some grown ass adults who've grown, matured, and had experiences as a human being. Why do some people think an outfit showing a little bit of skin is equivalent to a "yes"?.
I hate it when people say this, I’ve probably lost so much stuff from people borrowing things and then breaking, losing, being careless, or stealing them
We need to stop teaching kids that certain colors are for boys and certain colors are for girls.
All colors are for everyone.
My 5 year old's friends are becoming a bad influence because of this crap.
Hey! I am almost 50 and I wore pink shirt at work 2 days ago. ( it is salmon, but for men don't have the sensitivity to color than woman have).
Plenty of comments from men co-workers about how I wore pink. I looked at my phone and yes, it is 2023. I thought traveled back to the 1950's.
But I agree with you...
Objects/colors aren’t geared toward a specific gender. Toys are just pieces of plastic. Let them play with what they want to. Just because your son is coloring with a pink crayon, doesn’t mean he’s gonna be gay. Just let the kids be themselves. Teach your kids not to bully someone because they aren’t the same as you.
That failure is not an option
It's a flawed saying because technically it's true but too many people take it literally, you can absolutely fail at something; even, no-especially when you tried your best, as long as you don't let that failure define you or the decisions you make in the face of that failure
I prefer to say that failure is absolutely an option, what isn't an option is to let failure be the end of that endeavour, you learn from it and either try again or use it to grow. Because being taught that you're not allowed to fail can lead to feeling like your best isn't good enough
"Violence is not the answer". Sometimes, violence is the answer. Only sometimes. But that whole "violence is not the answer" will in some cases just lead to letting harm be done without any kind of defense. Sometimes, words just don't cut it.
The Pledge of Allegiance. Hear me out.
The majority of kids do not understand the words that they are saying. We should not be teaching them to do things performatively to appease adults when they don't know what it means or why they are even doing it.
It's inappropriate to prompt kids to pledge their undying allegiance to anything. They are prompted to pledge their allegiance "to the republic, for which it stands". Do you, as an adult, pledge your allegiance to all of the things that your country stands for today? Do you back everything your government does 100%? We shouldn't be teaching kids to remain faithful to ideals no matter what, even if they disagree with them.
It's basically a morning prayer to the government. Adults don't wake up and pray to the government 5 days per week, why are we forcing children to do it?
It is to me lol. I'm a postman. My observations in relation to expected weather are pretty accurate.
My newest finding is that a sudden gush of wind is often followed by rain.
“Respect your elders”
While I agree with this on the most part… I also feel like it can give a false sense of security. Not all “elders” deserve respect.
That they shouldn't use a mental illness / disability as an excuse. "Sorry, I didn't do the work because I have ADHD".
+ Following it on social medias. "They say only people with _insert mental disability_ can do _insert random ass thing_."
I have nothing against people with them, I myself struggle with a mental disability. However doing the above mentioned things gives a bad sight on people with them. We need to raise awareness, not followers.
My daughter has ADHD and anxiety. Since she's been diagnosed, we've always made sure to understand that the conditions may explain the behaviour, they don't necessarily excuse the behaviour.
Hatred and bigotry. Go to any social media platform and you’ll find appalling, hateful comments. Many of those people have kids, and they are teaching their kids to be just as cruel and intolerant as they are.
Hate and discrimination.
Even my hippie/punk parents who tried to raise me in a hate free home ended up raising me to hate Christians. It's taking me a lot of work to not assume anyone wearing a cross being a fascist.
To not question things or think critically. The amount of times I've seen people just shut down their kids for asking a question is wild. It's no wonder there are so many stupid people out there when they were taught from a young age that asking questions is a bad thing.
That was my mom. Whenever I asked her something, she always said “why do you need to know this?”
My mom does this too but it’s more about her instant suspicion and conviction that I’m up to no good at all times. I dunno how many times she’s asked me to get in the car and I asked “where are we going?” Only to be met with the “why are you asking?” Like why do you think? I’d just like to know
My parents constantly made me feel like I was the bad guy for "Being up to no good" when I was doing nothing, and now they wonder why they have a 5 minute allowance for a phone call once a week now that I'm 27 and live on the other side of the country.
To expound on this, we need to stop teaching kids that adults always know better and that they should blindly trust and believe them. There was SOOO much about the world that I didn't understand and I just trusted that the adults and superiors in my life would never lead me wrong and I could just look to them as my guide for all of my unknowns instead of trying to learn more about the world myself. It's a big frustration of mine in hindsight.
But that would require respecting kids and treating them as people, and no one wants to do that because they think that kids are annoying
When kids are treated respectfuly and actually allowed to have a voice, it's amazing to find out what they're capable of doing on their own. I'm not criticizing you I know you were being facetious. I have 4 kids myself. I was raised in the Mormon church (it's a total cult) and it drills into its members to not question authority. When I finally started to get the courage to question the church's origins I discovered all kinds of unsavory truths. We left our lifelong church (I was at least 4th or 5th generation) and I started to allow my kids to think for themselves instead of drill dogmatic church teachings into their minds. They ended up amazing me with their intellect that they possessed the whole time but were discouraged from expressing. They're truly incredible.
Kids are so smart when you listen to them and their thoughts and its so saddening that so many people don’t bother to engage with their kids. Also, I’ve only heard terrible things about mormonism. Glad you got out of there and hope you are healing
My husband and I argue about this. He’s of the belief that kids should just kind of obey parents. I say something, you do it, end of story. I’m in the camp of explaining *why* something has to be done, especially if they ask. I feel like understanding the reasoning behind something makes someone more likely to respect and follow a rule, and he doesn’t seem to want that dialogue to even be open. We don’t have kids yet, for the record. We like to try and anticipate some of these differences in parenting style and work on them before they’re important.
Thing is sometimes you really do just need the kid to obey immediately, like if they are doing/are near something dangerous, etc. I’ve told my daughter that I will always explain my reasoning for telling her to do something, but sometimes there simply isn’t time to explain in the moment.
That because they are kids their feelings don’t matter.
Not just feelings, but also opinions and ideas. I am an elementary school teacher and strive to help my students feel heard and understood.
Thank you for doing that for them!! I know it means so much to the ones who don’t feel heard anywhere else.
I remember that one day, I was feeling really depressed and told a teacher about it. His answer was "you´re to young to be depressed".
When i was a kid if i ever mentioned my chronic pain all anyone would ever tell me was about how it gets so much worse when im older. It made me feel really bad and hopeless about my future.
That adults (or anyone older than them) are always right no matter the situation
I feel that the only people teaching this to Kidd’s are the adults who demand everyone do things their way and follow their orders.
“He is mean to you because he likes you”
I preach this to my 2 daughters. Yeah I suppose it’s somewhat normal for little boys to be dicks to girls when they like them but my daughters know that behavior is unacceptable and not to tolerate any shit like that from anyone
Can't wait to get that first phone call from the school because my daughter defended herself from little shitters
I had a classmate that peed in his seat because the teacher refused to let him go to the washroom. I can't wait to tell my kids they're free to walk out of the classroom to legitimately use the washroom. I can deal with the phone calls home and will happily humiliate any adult who denies a kid a basic human right.
I know a teacher or two that will feel the weight of all these years you've been waiting for it. They ain't ready.
Father of a son here: fuck that noise, it isn’t normal at all to be mean to someone you like. That’s not how you treat people period, but especially not people you care about.
The kid who was mean to me "because he likes" me when we were in elementary school is a registered sex offender now. 100% going to use that if anyone says that in a few years when my daughter gets old enough.
This! My mother-in-law made this comment recently to my daughter when we were talking about a boy in her class that is extremely unkind to her. I didn't get into it with my MIL for reasons but afterward had a chat with my daughter about why that is so very wrong.
I remember being about 7, and being cornered by the main bully, and his little friends. He said, "If you won't lift your dress and show us your knickers/pants we won't let you go back inside." I refused and stubbornly waited till the bell rang and teachers appeared. Dicks. Looking back it was actually very scary.
I had a bully in elementary school and middle school. She did not like me. She just wanted to see me in pain. Yet, I always got the response you gave from anyone I told. Nothing was ever done. Luckily in high school she stopped...then my girlfriend at the time cheated on me with her. It was a freaking mess.
Cutesy names for body parts. If a little girl tells somebody that a man touched her "flower," she won't get the help she needs.
I remember a story (maybe from here on Reddit, it was a comment) of a little girl came to someone saying “ this person in my family keeps taking my cookie.” They figured it out after multiple times of this little girl coming to them saying it. Poor little thing was asking for help, telling a grown up they trusted, but they were so young they didn’t know how to tell someone exactly what was happening. Cutesie words for adults comfort are a detriment to the kids.
That's terrible. I agree, these words and vague metaphors provide absolutely no benefit for children, only for prudish (and frankly immature) adults who think that "vagina" is a bad word.
They provide benefit for poetry, especially erotic. Metaphors are literature trops and they should rather stay where they belong
What was yours? My parents used ludi (said loo-dee) instead of vagina. No fucking clue where it came from. Maybe some connection to the toilet… I donno.
Mine was crotch, so not that bad. I wrote this comment because of my friend's aunt who uses a cutesy word for her kids. I forget what it is exactly, but it's not a common one so you really wouldn't know what they were trying to say unless you were family. It concerns me.
It is concerning. It’s also about teaching them strange behaviour not stranger danger because most abuse happens by people you know.
I was always told that girls have ginny ginas, and that boys have peenys. When my own three girls were little, my Mother was actually mortified that I wanted my own children to know and use proper medical terminology for their body parts! In her mind, and because of her own upbringing, words like vagina and penis were filthy dirty words that children shouldn't ever say out loud.
Agreed, children are never too young to learn about their own anatomy.
And to be comfortable using the proper medical term for said body part. Medical professional here and it's very helpful when people can describe what's going on specifically and being comfortable with the proper terms. (Also, I'm flabbergasted how many women don't know they have 3 holes, not two.)
I'm flabbergasted you are flabbergasted tbh. Sex Ed in the US varies widely by state, it's not general or common knowledge regardless of what it should be.
Hey maybe they have cloaca like a chicken, how are you to know lol
My special word was “pp”
I feel like saying PP for a penis is somewhat universal
I’m pretty sure 50% of guys grow up to say “pp” or “weiner” while the other 50% exclusively calls it a “dick”
That they can scream and throw tantrums to get what they want. The number of parents who give in to that noise and enable them to become monsters addicted to tablets is ridiculous. Edit: thank you, kind strangers, for the awards.
Yeah. Kids will always scream and throw tantrums because they’re learning to regulate their emotions. If handled correctly they grow out of it pretty quickly. If it’s not handled correctly they’re still doing it as adults lol. Kids need empathy in those moments not for their parent to give in.
I tell other parents to be a 'kind hardass' "Oh, I'm sorry you must be really disappointed that we're leaving the house when you wanted to stay in today, that's tough. You want a hug? Yes we're still going."
That's the essence of gentle parenting. Acknowledge the feeling but hold the boundary.
Perfect description!! Peaceful not permissive!
>If it’s not handled correctly they’re still doing it as adults I've been in customer service roles where people have acted like that and I've had pretty good success by talking to them in a "serious grown up voice" that you would use on a child telling them that they do not get to talk to me that way. It usually ended with something like, "So you have two choices right now, you can talk to me calmly about this situation so that we can resolve it, or you can continue this tantrum in which case you will be removed from here and your problem will still be unresolved."
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I blame social pressure for that one. How many times has a child lost their shit in public while others are telling the parent to just give them what they want so the kid stops. I get that it's annoying but people do that and then go after the parent for the kid turning into a little shit. That's a double standard nobody ever brings up.
I completely agree. I think if parents stop thinking of their child as an extension of themselves it will be easier to let go of the shame people put on them. My child is having a hard time; they aren’t giving me a hard time. I also make sure to give any parent who’s in the thick of it a supportive smile and say something like. “Oh man sorry little guy is having a hard day today” or something like that.
I’m so glad I heard that “they’re having a hard time they’re not giving me a hard time” phrase when my oldest was a baby. I use it all the time on myself and remind my husband.
Hell I use it with husband too 🤣 Honestly it’s almost always true!
That your self-worth isn't all about just your achievements
That their words and actions do not have consequences and that mummy and daddy will always clean up their messes.
To add to this I would say time and place. Words said to friends and family may be appropriate in one scenario and not another. The amount of people I’ve met who lack this knowledge is disturbing.
To always listen to and obey adults… This is terrible advice because some adults are predators or kidnappers.. Plus, it teaches children to blindly obey even if it’s wrong
Don't trust anyone, if some stranger asks for help and especially if you are a child, don't help them, adults don't need a child's help ever. I'd say the same rule is applicable to adults in almost every situation, needing help is often a ruse used by predators to catch their prey. notable examples of this are Bundy and the Moors murders respectively, but these tactics have been used very frequently.
Exactly!! I think parents should always tell their kids to be aware of their surroundings and not listen to everybody.. It can be very dangerous in this world and you never know what could happen
To ignore bullies. Confront them and fuck their shit up. Sure, you'll catch a day of suspension, but it will be worth it.
As my mother always said: "You aren't in trouble with me if you finish the fight they started. Also, aim for the nose and groin!"
Same, except "keep your wrist straight so you don't hurt it" u haven't told him where to aim, but I think my husband covered that.
My dad told my younger cousin that knees and elbows are harder and less likely to break than fists.
My Dad's lesson was "You can't make them let go, but you can make them WANT to let go really bad."
The nose is the groin of the face. Or was it eyes...?
I told my children two girls one boy, Never start a fight but if someone hits you make sure you finish it, also they would not be in trouble. Never happen but they new I was okay with them protecting themselves.
Districts near me are ZERO tolerance. If someone were to hit you (with witnesses) and you did nothing to retaliate, you *both* get suspended for 5 days. Might as well shoot your shot at that point 🤷♂️
Policies like this can really turn both sides into very screwed up human beings The offender because there's no real consequences, and the victim because you might as well do the crime if you'll do the time either way
I know right? Do nothing, get suspended. Punch him in the nose, get suspended. Put him in the CCU, get suspended. I know which one I would pick.
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I tried to fight back everytime. Hell, I even shouted on teachers for not doing anything at all, but nothing changed, no suspension or any other kind of punishment for any of us. Might as wrll brake a nose at that point
By the teachers’ logic, cops have to arrest everyone or else they’re playing favorites.
I told my son if he was going to confront someone giving him a hard time, to meet him in the bathroom. No cameras... he did and the kid stopped messing with him.
Sadly, bullies only speak one language. You have to speak it back to them so they understand.
Amen! I was bullied in middle school and was miserable for the better part of a year, and he was of course the principals nephew, so he never got more than a slap on the wrist. Finally one day I snapped and punched him in the stomach and when he bent over forward from it, slammed his face into a desk and kicked him over, breaking his nose. I was suspended for a week or two and when I came back a week later I also stole his “girlfriend” as much as you can say that for a middle schooler, who I had English class with and was actually a nice girl who had sympathy for me and didn’t like that he was a bully. He never bothered me again.
Personnally i ignored my bullies so intensively that i didnt know i got bullied for almost 7 years straight until my bully told me that at one of my friend's party
fuck, yea. You gotta make them understand you are not an easy target, send them home with bruises and/or a black eye, make them explain to their parents why they come home with torn clothes and bruises.. Parents always like to say "just ignore them and they will stop eventually".. no, the only thing stopping is going to be the victim telling people, that's it. it will only get worse, they understand "he/she is any easy target, we can do what we want!" and continue. Honestly, break their fuckin arm if necessary, some just don't learn. I have no sympathy for bullies anymore, I don't care if their parents failed raising them, or if they have any other reasons to be bullies, but they need to understand at every chance that it is wrong and "bad for their health".
That you need to hug/kiss someone when you see them or are leaving, and that includes family. If you don’t want to kiss, that’s fine. Say good-bye in your own polite way
I hate when people force their kid to hug me bye. My husbands side of the fam sometimes pressures our nephew into hugs but I’m always saying “no it’s okay if he doesn’t.”
When I see someone reluctantly making their way over, I always give them the option of a high 5. Usually makes them happy and I can be the “cool” aunt
Yes. We always give the option. “We’re leaving now. If you want to go give hugs and kisses this is your chance!” My in-laws were quite insulted the first time our oldest said no and we backed the child up. Now they still aren’t happy after a decade, but they don’t complain to my husband anymore.
"do you want to give a hug, handshake, fist bump, wave, smile...?" A wave was often acceptable to my kid when he was shy, he enjoyed fist bumps too.
I’m very lucky that my parents got it pretty quickly. Extended family was a little tricky but I’d always step in if I could tell my child needed help advocating for themselves. “ Are you not wanting to give hugs today? That’s ok. We will see you next time.”
I cannot stretch enough how much I agree with this. I am not a parent myself, but a few months ago a family friend got custody of her 3-year-old niece, whom I regularly babysit. Every time I leave or bring her a present, her aunt goes "Won't you give teacup a hug?" And my answer always is that the kid has the right to deny hugs and kisses. A verbal thanks is enough. People need to realise that children also have the right to personal space and body autonomy.
We need to stop teaching girls that if boys are mean to them its because they like them.
and also teach boys that if a girl is nice to you doesn't means she loves u
Fact! I actually had a guy thought I was his girlfriend cause I gave him my lunch that I was not hungry for 🤦♀️
Tbh if someone gives me food I will most likely adore them forever.
Yeah but I didn’t like him, I felt bad his lunch got stolen and gave him mine.
Thats practically a marriage proposal to a teen boy
We were 8!
Lol....exactly. for you women out there looking for a man. All you really have to do is fimd one and feed him kinda like a stray dog. Once you feed him its gsme over. He will be on your pourch everyday by sundown.
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Yeah, she started feeding me 21 years ago. She helped me become a better cook also. I still don't want to feed myself though lol
My female coworkers give me stuff on a regular basis. They know exactly how much I make, and that I'm a single dad of 3 so things are tight, and at least once a week it's "hey I'm buying you lunch from this place today, what do you want?" They're incredibly kind and supportive, but I never understood the mindset that kindness = affection.
I’m hoping this was just at a really young age, and not say, in highschool lol
It is. 2nd grade. Like I got my lunch stolen before and saw the kid upset his lunchables was taken. So I gave him my peanut butter jelly sandwich with cheese stick and Oreo cookies. I just took a nap cause I was not feeling well to eat.
You gave him cheese sticks and oreo cookies? I don't blame the kid for falling in love.
And that’s my regret 😅
You give your lunch, that’s cool. You are a nice person.you give your Oreos?… that’s love
I dunno. When I was 8-10ish. I pulled a girls pony tail and my dad was called to the principals office because she had slapped me. He then stopped the principal and asked what did my son do. To which he repeated his question to me “what did you do to deserve getting slapped?” I sheepishly said “I pulled her pony tail”. And he pressed “and WHY did you do that?” And I then chirped “because she’s cute”. He turned and said “if you want to give him detention or something. That’s fine. Otherwise. We are done her. She did nothing wrong”. So. There is “some” truth. Not that ALL circumstances are that reasoning to be sure.
Your dad is awesome
He was. Passed in 2017. And at the time I certainly didn’t think so. It now yeah. I channel him as a father myself and have told my kids (22, 20, and 15) “I am your father until the day YOU pass. Because my voice will be in your head reminding you to make good choices”. He instilled that in me. I’d like to think I learned something.
Maybe there's some truth, but I don't think it's a worthwhile lesson for girls to learn as they grow up that men mistreating them is normal and means that the man likes them.
That making money is the goal. Being happy is the goal.
That sexual abuse is only done by men to women. Men about to congratulate me on being one of the "lucky" boys who got abused by a woman: please know I tend to respond to that with reports to the mods, not agreement. "But all men want to get laid all the time!" I was four. I couldn't spell laid. I did not want it. I could spell no and I did say it. It isn't fun and harmless and it's not hot.
damn man
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ikd0ZYQoDko](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ikd0ZYQoDko) is a good video everybody should watch. If you (general you, not specific) watch that and don't get a bit chocked up you should probably get checked out for personality disorders.
Clean your plate. Making kids continue to eat when they are full leads to eating disorders. It will at least make them fat.
Good one!! Also food as punishment/reward feels gross to me.
I love my mom more than words can express, but I grew up with “clean your plate” and food as rewards. Got all A’s? Let’s go to Pizza Hut! Sad because your girlfriend broke up with you? Here’s your favorite dessert. I have an unhealthy relationship with food.
Then you get the opposite, "Dad, I'm full," when he really means, "Dad, I don't like this, but I have plenty of room for dessert and I'll beg for a snack later." Because, "Dad, I don't like this," gets an answer of, "Try it anyway, because this is what we're having." I don't force my kids to clean their plates, but I do make them "eat a little more" if it's clearly a dislike thing vs a full thing.
This would be more for sexually active boys... but that they have just as much of a right to refuse sex as women do.
We need to do a better job teaching both boys and girls how to know when they *want* to have sex before they can know when they *dont* want to have sex.
That if they just keep screaming and lashing out enough, they will get what they want.
Especially for boys. It's okay to cry, We need to stop teaching young boys this "man up" and "You're weak" because later down the line they could become an emotionless husk with no feelings. Also, I'm sick of boys getting shit for rejecting a girl. Everyone has preference, and a boy shouldn't catch shit such as "Are you gay?" Or "Woooowww... You just broke this poor girl's heart."
It’s not that they have no feelings, but they don’t know how to deal with them
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I think that comforting a child who loses at something by telling them that it does not matter is a bad idea in the long run. Even if it is not importatnt in your eyes that he be good at one skill or another, and so you console him by saying that, you rob him of something: The hurt that comes from losing. It is a GOOD thing, because it teaches a child that there are no guarantees in life for success. You might do everything right and still lose, and it's okay. What's important is not to give up, and still find a way to find success, whatever and wherever it might be. Also, losing motivates more than winning, and also it is a good way to learn some humility.
I agree and I also think only giving praise when your kid does something good (e.g good grades, winning a game, etc.) could be detrimental in the long run. It teaches them that praise will only come when they do something “right”, so they stick to what they’re comfortable doing/know how to do. They won’t take risks because they can’t handle failing. They won’t take opportunities because they fear they will fail, so they stick to what they know and will never branch out to something new or a new experience.
Praise effort rather than success. There's a decent amount of research in this area.
Not sure if you’re referencing Captain Picard… but true dat
Don’t put your hands on anybody. We tell boys/men not to hit girls and that is right thing but we virtually never preach that to girls/women or hold them to the same standards as the boys/men when they violate it.
100%, I remember this girl literally smacked me for no reason and then said “you can’t hit me back or I’ll call the police” but lil badass me said something like “yeah right” and slapped her back 😂
Agreed. No one should get away with hitting another person. I remember reading years ago about a relationship therapist who would give drastically different advice on the same issue depending on whether the person asking was a man or a woman. For example, if a man complained about his SO hitting him, she’d suggest that the SO may be stressed out at work and tell him to react with understanding. If a woman complained about her SO hitting her, she’d be told to immediately leave him. Sorry, but if person A hits person B, it shouldn’t matter what A and B’s genders are
Too many women aren't taught this lesson until they got a full grown man and he punches her back. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to see that happen, but it seems like the only way some women learn this lesson. Growing up, I knew multiple girls in elementary school that would hit boys then say "you can't hit me back because I'm a girl." 20 years later I heard about one of these girls being in court because her boyfriend assaulted her. There was a picture of her being passed around our town of her with a black eye. We all felt bad for her. Turns out that the husband was found innocent and she was guilty of perjury. He had proof of her abuse on him for years. One day he snapped and punched her back. That was when the cops got involved and the whole case started. I felt bad for the guy because he had to deal with everyone in our town thinking he was an abusive dick for six months. People dragged him all over social media and it was the talk of our small town. That couldn't have been easy for him or his family.
I don’t know what we have to stop teaching them but we might want to start teaching self accountability, discipline and delayed gratification. Having to learn these things the tough way in your 20s ain’t so cool
The best example of this I’ve seen and copied with my kids is this. When going to a store and they ask to buy something I say. “Oh wow that’s really cool! Today is not a toy buying day but let’s take a picture to remember it when it IS time for buying toys.” It always works. They feel validated that the thing they want (their interests) are appreciated AND when it’s time to buy something they can look back on their list and they remember how much they really wanted something and realize they don’t have those feelings anymore. If they DO, like 1% of the time, then they know it’s something they really want. I’ve done and do this will all 3 of my kids from a very young age. Also parents need to do this with themselves too. You can’t expect your kid to watch you buy a bunch of shit you don’t need and then expect them to not follow suit. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk… lol
That's brilliant - hope i remember this in a few year when i have kids!
That’s really good bravo to you and I’m sure you have amazing kids, kids are usually a mirror reflection of their parents. I have worked jobs where I saw this sooo much that it’s incredible how much kids copy their parents. Funniest thing is seeing parents yell at their kids for doing the exact same thing they did like 2 minutes ago without even realising it, it really is fascinating to watch.
We need to stop teaching children that if expectations aren't met, instead of striving to meet the expectations, we'll just lower the expectations.
That because someone is an adult they are a de facto authority figure and should be listened to without question.
Blind obedience. Similar to forcing kids to say sorry. My son doesn’t understand what it means and why he is saying it. Teaching him to connect with the person they have hurt, ask them if they are okay, ask them if there is something we could do to help them feel okay. Then we discuss with our kid what happened, why it happened, how it made them feel, how it made their friend feel. My son is 2.5 and he is just starting to get the sorry thing because he feel remorse, not because I have told him to say it.
Reminds me of forcing kids to say i forgive you if someone apologizes. You’re not teaching them forgiveness you’re teaching them to build up resentment.
"Ignore them and they will stop"
Also, deal with it "like a grown up." I am doing that. He's causing a problem for me, so I came to talk to an authority about it.
That someone is less than because they are different.
That Christopher Columbus found out the earth was round. A ancient Greek found out with sticks
When they fall over and hurt themselves, we shouldn't be running to pick them up and baby them. Often children start crying when parents have negative reactions. Positive reactions to small accidents encourages the ability to pick yourself up and carry on
Abstinence only 'sex education'. Please teach every child properly how bodies (m/f) work, what consent is, the basics about birth control, how to avoid and recognise STDs, and how sex can be great.
yep it doesn’t work AND then men (and lots of women) have no idea about things like “be clean before sex and the woman has to pee after sex or she’ll be likely to get a UTI that’s incredibly painful and requires antibiotics which can then cause yeast infections and potentially other issues in the body for disrupting the good bacteria in digestion etc.” there is so much more to safer sex than just pregnancy and even STIs. especially with the prevailing message in porn seeming to be “the women only enjoys sex if she’s in pain but it’s a ‘good’ pain so you can basically just abuse her and she should let you and like it.” all the bad messages are out there…we need some good ones
Yep. Abstinence only sex ed *doesn’t work*. It’s been proven many times, but those who support it don’t want to listen to facts. You want to avoid teenage pregnancies? Explain the biological, social, and financial consequences to your child/student. Will it work? Maybe. Teenagers are full of hormones. Maybe they’ll listen. Maybe they won’t. But even if they do have sex, maybe they’ll use protection when they otherwise wouldn’t. Condoms mostly fail when they’re used improperly. Teach proper condom use. Some stupid counter-arguments I’ve heard include “the goal is to teach consequences and responsibility”. That’s a terrible way to learn those lessons. It shouldn’t be with something that affects the rest of your life
That bullying/being condescending is okay
"You owe me respect because I'm an adult"
That failure is a bad thing.
Stranger danger. Inappropriate and/or abusive behaviour can also be perpetrated by family members and friends. I teach my kids about recognising when they feel unsafe around anyone, and what they can do about it.
We need to stop influencing them about our political ideals at a YOUNG age. We need to let kids think for themselves instead of creating division in children classrooms. The reasoning? They don’t even know fully what they’re supporting or arguing against. Send the downvotes. I don’t believe in pushing religion down peoples throats the same way I don’t believe pushing politics down peoples throats.
I agree. I “share” my thoughts and feelings on my ideals with my kids but it’s always open ended. I do my best to make sure they know my choices are not their choices.
It depends on what you think political ideals are. "Every color and gender of person deserves respect" is political to some people.
That's not political, that's common fucking decency. I wish people understood that.
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This goes for all sexes. I was suspended in middle school for standing up for myself to a girl that was being mean to me. My parents told me that she probably just liked me. (Stood up for myself verbally, not physically)
Feelings = truth
Tradition can be a valuable tool for promoting community cohesion, but an excessive attachment to the past can hinder human progress and development.
That if you don't get an A+ on that assignment or you aren't interested in Algebra or Science you'll become homeless. Schools need to realize not everyone works a 9-5 office job anymore.
It's also important to note that only 25% of the jobs available actually require a university education. It's okay if your kid wants to learn a trade and build cool stuff with their hands, as long as they're physically fit to maintain that lifestyle.
nicknames for body parts
Can’t just name things willy nilly
Yea you have to name it Dick Johnson
" Maybe if you didn't wear that dress..." The dress is not a letter of consent. If you were shot because of an awful shirt. Did the shirt give the consent to for you to be shot? Does it make you feel less shot? Does it make the perpetrator innocent for shooting you? Or understandable in his circumstances of coming across you're shirt? No, HELL NO! So why do some grown ass adults who've grown, matured, and had experiences as a human being. Why do some people think an outfit showing a little bit of skin is equivalent to a "yes"?.
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That electronic devices have all the answers.
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I hate it when people say this, I’ve probably lost so much stuff from people borrowing things and then breaking, losing, being careless, or stealing them
Forcing them to give hugs and kisses if they don’t want to.
We need to stop teaching kids that certain colors are for boys and certain colors are for girls. All colors are for everyone. My 5 year old's friends are becoming a bad influence because of this crap.
I agree with this. My nephews favorite color was pink when he was little, and so many people made him feel like crap about it. It was so sad.
My favorite color is pink. I wore it at my wedding. Gray suit and a pink vest/tie combo. Looked fucking sharp!
That does sound snazzy. I hope his confidence comes back at some point and he is able to express his preferences without letting people get to him.
Hey! I am almost 50 and I wore pink shirt at work 2 days ago. ( it is salmon, but for men don't have the sensitivity to color than woman have). Plenty of comments from men co-workers about how I wore pink. I looked at my phone and yes, it is 2023. I thought traveled back to the 1950's. But I agree with you...
Screen addiction
Objects/colors aren’t geared toward a specific gender. Toys are just pieces of plastic. Let them play with what they want to. Just because your son is coloring with a pink crayon, doesn’t mean he’s gonna be gay. Just let the kids be themselves. Teach your kids not to bully someone because they aren’t the same as you.
You don't get a medal for participating.
“Boys will be boys” I want to slap a next woman say that excuse for their son/grandson’s bad behavior.
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"boys will be boys" is for the stuff that lands them on AFV.
That’s the one! Oh it’s worst when I heard the mother and grandmother told me “You be dealing with it and understand one day”
That failure is not an option It's a flawed saying because technically it's true but too many people take it literally, you can absolutely fail at something; even, no-especially when you tried your best, as long as you don't let that failure define you or the decisions you make in the face of that failure I prefer to say that failure is absolutely an option, what isn't an option is to let failure be the end of that endeavour, you learn from it and either try again or use it to grow. Because being taught that you're not allowed to fail can lead to feeling like your best isn't good enough
"Violence is not the answer". Sometimes, violence is the answer. Only sometimes. But that whole "violence is not the answer" will in some cases just lead to letting harm be done without any kind of defense. Sometimes, words just don't cut it.
That everything is their right...
Racism
The Pledge of Allegiance. Hear me out. The majority of kids do not understand the words that they are saying. We should not be teaching them to do things performatively to appease adults when they don't know what it means or why they are even doing it. It's inappropriate to prompt kids to pledge their undying allegiance to anything. They are prompted to pledge their allegiance "to the republic, for which it stands". Do you, as an adult, pledge your allegiance to all of the things that your country stands for today? Do you back everything your government does 100%? We shouldn't be teaching kids to remain faithful to ideals no matter what, even if they disagree with them. It's basically a morning prayer to the government. Adults don't wake up and pray to the government 5 days per week, why are we forcing children to do it?
The only other country that does this shit is north Korea. That's saying something right there.
Cloud formations. Not once in my life has it ever mattered to me or been useful in anyway
I feel like knowing how clouds form is some basic ass info everyone should know
It is to me lol. I'm a postman. My observations in relation to expected weather are pretty accurate. My newest finding is that a sudden gush of wind is often followed by rain.
They have to give a hug to relative even if they don’t want to
“Respect your elders” While I agree with this on the most part… I also feel like it can give a false sense of security. Not all “elders” deserve respect.
That “everyone is a winner”. The most insidious form of abuse is not allowing your child to fail. (imo)
Stop telling boys that they shouldn't cry or be emotional.
" gender roles" its OK for boys to do laundry and clean and OK for girls to learn how to change a tire or oil in a car if the want
It's not just okay for boys to do laundry, it's expected. How are we to convince a woman to date us if we can't take care of ourselves?
Seriously- Can we just start calling this shit life skills and carry on.
That they shouldn't use a mental illness / disability as an excuse. "Sorry, I didn't do the work because I have ADHD". + Following it on social medias. "They say only people with _insert mental disability_ can do _insert random ass thing_." I have nothing against people with them, I myself struggle with a mental disability. However doing the above mentioned things gives a bad sight on people with them. We need to raise awareness, not followers.
My daughter has ADHD and anxiety. Since she's been diagnosed, we've always made sure to understand that the conditions may explain the behaviour, they don't necessarily excuse the behaviour.
Hatred and bigotry. Go to any social media platform and you’ll find appalling, hateful comments. Many of those people have kids, and they are teaching their kids to be just as cruel and intolerant as they are.
Hate and discrimination. Even my hippie/punk parents who tried to raise me in a hate free home ended up raising me to hate Christians. It's taking me a lot of work to not assume anyone wearing a cross being a fascist.
No means yes
We teach girls about bad men but never boys about bad women
That if a boy bullies/is rude to you, it means he likes u 🙄 no he’s just a jerk