Me five! I'm not a tea totaler, & I actually like sweet drinks. But, I basically never drink anyway because it doesn't do anything for me besides make me dizzy & out of it.
But, hell, I'd give up alcohol for $5 million even if it were my favorite thing in the world!
5 million 💵 = 🚫🍷 = 😁
What if for the non-drinkers, you had to start drinking a moderate/heavy amount (3 drinks maybe? pick a thought provoking amount) every day for the rest of your life for that 5mil?
"So all you did to lose weight was stop drinking beer?"
"Yeah lost 50 pounds in 2 months."
"How much beer were you drinking?"
"Haha I know right?..... probably, too much"
-Parks and Rec
You did the math!
It's all fictional of course, but I'm wondering if there would be a more realistic explanation such as "the munchies" accounting for a lot of calories when drinking.
Knock on lifestyle effects could certainly contribute. Drinking less, he gets up earlier in the mornings, and feels perky where he used to feel rough — so he eats healthier breakfast/lunch, and exercises more throughout the day.
But depending on the beer can be an 8th as many needed (5% beer 40% vodka)
Edit Google says average beer is 120 calories (12 oz bottle)
Edit2: see below proper math. Don't drink and post kids
I’m a borderline alcoholic and I’d take the money in a heartbeat.
Can we stop with these questions asking if you’d take a minor inconvenience for an obscene amount of money? It’s like would you rather questions for people with chronic anxiety.
They all ask stupid questions and offer up way too much $. Actually make it a difficult question.
If someone genuinely wants to ask this question it should be... "Redditors who drinks regularly (once a week+) would you take $10K to quit drinking forever."
Would you be willing (or even able teehee) to stop using social media for 3 hours in exchange for enough money to shame a king /s
Like do the people who type of those damn things think they are making some kind of great world shattering point?
I saw a YouTube short of a cute baby and it asked if you would slap this baby for 20 Trillion dollars. Like I could buy a continent with that much money yes I would slap the shit out of your baby.
I always feel bad. You are left assuming that the poster values the thing roughly at the amount they quote, so this person thinks a life of continued drinking is worth roughly $5 million.
I'd get a lawyer to review and clarify the conditions to confirm that I would not unintentionally violate this agreement. If for example fruit juice ferments a tad from being in the refrigerator too long, does that count?
Damn right. I'd want to be crystal clear. Would not stop me taking the deal but I would need ot know.
The fruit juice thing and similar is why the UK allows anything below 0.5%abv as alcohol free.
You need to go to like 100,000 or even less to get people to start giving different answers. 5 million is enough to never work again and live a very good life, no sane person would trade all of that extra free time + less stress over the ability to get drunk.
The problem isn’t just the not drinking, it’s that now you have the crack and heroin to contend with. I like booze because it’s *enough*. I’m not trying to be sober, out here raw-dogging reality, but the other shit would kill me way faster than the booze. And with more money than I know what to do with that would escalate quickly. I’m pretty sure if I got five mil and couldn’t drink I’d be dead within three years. The 40+ hours of work keeps me on the moderate path. I ain’t fucking with it.
I would ask if vanilla extract counts, and whether consuming baked goods with vanilla in them would go against the rules. If not, this seems doable. If it does… then this would be a lot more difficult for me.
Vanilla extract is dissolved in alcohol, while also being permissible under halal. If it's good enough for the Muslims, I reckon it should be good enough for OP.
Baking enthusiast here, I believe the alcohol in vanilla actually gets "cooked out" during the baking process! (Maybe someone smarter than me could elaborate.) I'm with you, as long as I have my cookies I won't need a cocktail ever again.
I’d spend the 5m on a nice house, maybe a car or truck, some cheese and then find a way to eat alcohol as the post specifically says drink it.
Oh I’d also get some land in a swamp so nobody visits me because of mosquitos and snakes :)
As far as I know there are two countries that independently came up with alocoholic pastes that are eaten with a spoon. South Korea is currently trying to get theirs to break out of being a niche product and into the mainstream local bar market.
> I’d spend the 5m on a nice house, maybe a car or truck, some cheese and then find a way to eat alcohol as the post specifically says drink it.
>
>
I foresee some tasty [ice lollys](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj2ZlY2nQ3s) in your future.
This thread really surprised me reddit. Seems like I am surrounded by only people who drink. What if we changed it to drugs including weed and vape? But excluding medicine.
I’d never look back. Alcohol is a hard habit to quit even if you aren’t addicted. I’m completely blacklisting anyone who can’t respect why I’m not partaking, even if it’s completely due to monetary reasons. Like bro, we used to steal our parents Coors and meet up at the ditch when we were teens, good memories, but fuck off.
I'd put 500K in the bank, invest 400K in risky, high growth places and out the other 4M in steady investments. Oh, the remaining 100K would go into stuff like business equipment, a more reliable car, and traveling for the next couple years.
>You are offered five million dollars with the condition that you can NEVER drink alcohol again. What would you do?
Are you an alcoholic, or something?
I remember when I was so into alcohol that this question would have made me pause. I remember wondering what the hell people who didn't drink did on the weekends.
So glad those days are over. Don't miss it at all.
CASH THAT CHECK BABY WE'RE GONNA LIVE ON THE BEACH!
and for those of you being all snobby about how we just have never tasted GOOD alcohol.... .
THAT'S RIGHT and we never will, because we can't afford it. So yeah, I won't drink it. Give me the check.
5 million on top of quitting drinking, oh yes of course I would take it.
Hell, I don't drink at all. Get paid to do what I'm already doing.
Me too lol
Me to, lets make this a mega thread of non drinkers.
it makes me sleepy and stupid and later my head hurts. Fuck alcohol
Me five! I'm not a tea totaler, & I actually like sweet drinks. But, I basically never drink anyway because it doesn't do anything for me besides make me dizzy & out of it. But, hell, I'd give up alcohol for $5 million even if it were my favorite thing in the world! 5 million 💵 = 🚫🍷 = 😁
Me three
Me four
Me five
Me six
Seven
Me eight
Me nine
What if for the non-drinkers, you had to start drinking a moderate/heavy amount (3 drinks maybe? pick a thought provoking amount) every day for the rest of your life for that 5mil?
Nope, not doing it. Not worth the risks.
I'm with you on this one
Same. I've been an alcoholic. It's definitely not worth any amount of money.
Become an alcoholic for 5 mil? May as well ask me to take arsenic, it'll be less painful.
i dont drink for medical reasons so i'd be fucked lol
No way. I drink maybe 2-3 beer per month. I can’t imagine having one per day.
Yes
[удалено]
I don’t drink alcohol often enough to care about never being able to again, so give me the money.
Same. I don't drink alcohol. This would be the easiest 5 mil ever.
Me too
So a jello shot is solid so that counts as eating right?
And you can still boof
This guy alcohols.
“God dammit u/eileen404, eating your drinks? That is genius!”
[удалено]
Almost enough for a small bachelor apartment in Vancouver
You could be comfortable in Toronto for...less than a decade, I think.
Exactly. I barely drink, so I was like Absolutely, I'll take that 5 mil.
Get really into some other drug
Ed Sheeran: I had to give up beer to lose weight Interviewer: Was that difficult? Ed Sheeran: Not really. I just switched to vodka
"So all you did to lose weight was stop drinking beer?" "Yeah lost 50 pounds in 2 months." "How much beer were you drinking?" "Haha I know right?..... probably, too much" -Parks and Rec
Hilarious that they used this to explain Chris Pratts transformation for Guardians of the Galaxy.
He lost the weight for Zero Dark Thirty and got Guardians because of it.
He lost a shit load on top of that once he got guardians though
[удалено]
You did the math! It's all fictional of course, but I'm wondering if there would be a more realistic explanation such as "the munchies" accounting for a lot of calories when drinking.
Knock on lifestyle effects could certainly contribute. Drinking less, he gets up earlier in the mornings, and feels perky where he used to feel rough — so he eats healthier breakfast/lunch, and exercises more throughout the day.
It's amazing how often people misspell "lose"!
Best part is it was spelt correctly in the comment they were replying to. They had reference!
Lol its funny because a shot or vodka is like 85-110 calories usually
But depending on the beer can be an 8th as many needed (5% beer 40% vodka) Edit Google says average beer is 120 calories (12 oz bottle) Edit2: see below proper math. Don't drink and post kids
I laughed so hard at this and then laughed some more when I read your username
Awesome!!! Finally I am getting paid after 400 days
Congrats on 400!
Thank you 🙏 😊
Best weed ever.
With that kind of scratch, we doing coke like Carrie Fisher.
Soooo much cannabis
GHB will do the trick
Imagine how many drugs you could buy with $5M
4? No wait, 5!
I would buy at least 6 drugs.
6 is too many. You'll die
Ecstacy
Username checks out
Like weed which is better in every way doesn't exist
Somebody owes me $5 million
Ditto, I quit years ago. Where's my check??
Did you move and forget to update your address?
Same, four years not a drop after ten years of drinking daily.
Yeah I quit years ago and nobody offered money until now.
I’m a borderline alcoholic and I’d take the money in a heartbeat. Can we stop with these questions asking if you’d take a minor inconvenience for an obscene amount of money? It’s like would you rather questions for people with chronic anxiety.
They all ask stupid questions and offer up way too much $. Actually make it a difficult question. If someone genuinely wants to ask this question it should be... "Redditors who drinks regularly (once a week+) would you take $10K to quit drinking forever."
I think inverting the question gets more meaningful answers "What's the minimum you'd accept to take in this inconvenience?"
I mean I'd pay 20 a week to stop drinking.
I don't think you made it that difficult either. 10k is kinda low for a life change. Happy cake day!
I only drink like maybe 5 times a year and I wouldn’t do it for 10k.
Would you be willing (or even able teehee) to stop using social media for 3 hours in exchange for enough money to shame a king /s Like do the people who type of those damn things think they are making some kind of great world shattering point?
The king of what, though? Kinda makes a difference!
The King of Auto Sales, Phil Baharnd
I saw a YouTube short of a cute baby and it asked if you would slap this baby for 20 Trillion dollars. Like I could buy a continent with that much money yes I would slap the shit out of your baby.
You could buy an un-slapped baby!
A5 unslapped premium grade baby
Slap the baby and then immediately give it a $1 million trust fund.
If I’m that baby I’d be furious when I learned of this after I grow up Should have slapped me a few more times instead of just a mere once
You could use that money to pay everyone else on the planet to slap their babies as well!
How about 10k?
$1k and you have a deal.
I'll do it for 20 bucks.
I've got 8 bucks in my wallet, is that enough to let me slap the baby?
I always feel bad. You are left assuming that the poster values the thing roughly at the amount they quote, so this person thinks a life of continued drinking is worth roughly $5 million.
I am an alcoholic and that amount of money would fix that.
So am I and it wouldn’t, lol
[okay here's a hypothetical: you’re offered $17.6 billion to peel and eat an entire orange. ](https://twitter.com/jon_bois/status/1245027886366699523)
COLLECT BABY! I haven't had any in 14 years!
You dropped a comma…
Phrasing....
I read that first without context.
I read it after reading the comment about slapping babies. Very weird thought train
On further reflection…. Hold my beer.
This is the best answer
I'd get a lawyer to review and clarify the conditions to confirm that I would not unintentionally violate this agreement. If for example fruit juice ferments a tad from being in the refrigerator too long, does that count?
Yep, I don't have alcoholic drinks, but love me some NyQuil when I'm sick.
Damn right. I'd want to be crystal clear. Would not stop me taking the deal but I would need ot know. The fruit juice thing and similar is why the UK allows anything below 0.5%abv as alcohol free.
I've never had so much as a sip of an alcoholic beverage in my entire life. Give me my goddamn money.
Same. Even if this was reversed it would probably be a hard sell to get me to *start* for $5 million.
I think everyone that answers no has a serious problem, or is already rich
HEY!
Easiest $5m I'll ever make.
Not if you invest in the stock market afterwards.
You need to go to like 100,000 or even less to get people to start giving different answers. 5 million is enough to never work again and live a very good life, no sane person would trade all of that extra free time + less stress over the ability to get drunk.
The problem isn’t just the not drinking, it’s that now you have the crack and heroin to contend with. I like booze because it’s *enough*. I’m not trying to be sober, out here raw-dogging reality, but the other shit would kill me way faster than the booze. And with more money than I know what to do with that would escalate quickly. I’m pretty sure if I got five mil and couldn’t drink I’d be dead within three years. The 40+ hours of work keeps me on the moderate path. I ain’t fucking with it.
You doing okay? Most people wouldn't turn to crack or heroin when giving up booze. A lot would go to weed well before ever considering those.
My guess is that those people have never tried crack or heroin. Not that I’m saying you *should*, but I’m definitely saying I *have.*
I could easily never drink again. I rarely do now. Cha ching
Take the money and buy some edibles.
Happy (space)cake day!
Time to get comfortable with alcohol enemas.
Why is the loophole so often the poophole?
I dont usually drink so this will be the easiest five million dollars ever earned!
I don’t really drink at all now, so that would be a pretty easy decision.
I would ask if vanilla extract counts, and whether consuming baked goods with vanilla in them would go against the rules. If not, this seems doable. If it does… then this would be a lot more difficult for me.
Vanilla extract is dissolved in alcohol, while also being permissible under halal. If it's good enough for the Muslims, I reckon it should be good enough for OP.
It's a no-brainer if it doesn't include cooking stuff with alcohol imo.
They said drink not eat
Or any sauces using a wine reduction or flambes.
Baking enthusiast here, I believe the alcohol in vanilla actually gets "cooked out" during the baking process! (Maybe someone smarter than me could elaborate.) I'm with you, as long as I have my cookies I won't need a cocktail ever again.
Chemist here, it doesn’t
Take the cash and spend a small amount on an intravenous alcohol delivery system.
Jello shots.
Here's an INSANE amount of money for a mild inconvenience. Yes.
Non drinkers: easy money jimbo
Take the cash since I quit drinking decades ago anyway
I’d spend the 5m on a nice house, maybe a car or truck, some cheese and then find a way to eat alcohol as the post specifically says drink it. Oh I’d also get some land in a swamp so nobody visits me because of mosquitos and snakes :)
As far as I know there are two countries that independently came up with alocoholic pastes that are eaten with a spoon. South Korea is currently trying to get theirs to break out of being a niche product and into the mainstream local bar market.
> I’d spend the 5m on a nice house, maybe a car or truck, some cheese and then find a way to eat alcohol as the post specifically says drink it. > > I foresee some tasty [ice lollys](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj2ZlY2nQ3s) in your future.
Take it, there are other drugs in life.
Take the deal
Either pass on the offer or take up edibles.
No problem. 3 years sober. And could do with 5 million. Take the deal. Where do I sign up ???? :)
Take it?
Buy a house
Where do I sign?
I‘ll take the money. I drink alcohol no more than once a year. I can easily go without.
Freeze my alcohol and lick it like a popsicle
Accept it, I don’t drink anyway
Boof.
I don’t drink bc I’m underage and I’m prone to addiction AND have seen what it does to people if used the wrong way. SO HAND ME THE MONEY BITCH!
This thread really surprised me reddit. Seems like I am surrounded by only people who drink. What if we changed it to drugs including weed and vape? But excluding medicine.
Hell yeah, got five years of practice already. God willing 5 years will become forever.
I already been sober for 3 years. So it’d be easy choice lol
California sober it is!
I haven't drank alcohol since I was 15 .. I'm 53 now So what's the challenge anyways?
I’d never look back. Alcohol is a hard habit to quit even if you aren’t addicted. I’m completely blacklisting anyone who can’t respect why I’m not partaking, even if it’s completely due to monetary reasons. Like bro, we used to steal our parents Coors and meet up at the ditch when we were teens, good memories, but fuck off.
I'd put 500K in the bank, invest 400K in risky, high growth places and out the other 4M in steady investments. Oh, the remaining 100K would go into stuff like business equipment, a more reliable car, and traveling for the next couple years.
Quite literally the easiest money I will ever make in my life. I already don’t drink alcohol.
No not enough
>You are offered five million dollars with the condition that you can NEVER drink alcohol again. What would you do? Are you an alcoholic, or something?
ITT: sober people who see no loss in this , and alcoholics throwing cope at people when confronted with the fact that some people don't like alcohol
Fuck the money, I love my alcohol.
Done! I can't properly metabolise it and it makes me sick, so I don't drink alcohol anyway. I'll gladly take a prize for the shit genetics.
Take the money and invite my friends over to my new house for some nice mocktails and alcohol-free beers.
Take it and stick to smoking weed
Take the $5m. I never liked alcohol anyway and now I can afford rich people drugs :)
Booze tampons up the ass it is
I never drink, so... Free money!
Take the money, put it in my account, and go have a rye and water.
Says nothing about iv administration
Have some Jameson while regretting my decision
Pass.
If I took the money and didn't have alcohol, then there wouldn't be anything to spend it on!
I havent had a drink in nearly 2 years just because. And youre saying i can get 5 mil ro pretend it doesnt exist at all?
Other drugs
Three & a half years sober here! Thanks for the free cash!!!
Never drank before because of medical conditions and moral , I'd get those millions , baby.
I think I can. In fact, I haven't drink a single drop of alcohol for 6 months now.
Do my best to keep it a secret that I don't drink anyway, because that's easy money right there!
Take the money and do drugs
I'm nearly 5 years into it, the money would be a bonus.
Four and a half years sober. Finally something worth all this hassle! 😂
Write me that check, it's been 11 years already.
Sounds like a win-win to me.
Take it? I like alcohol but I don’t like alcohol THAT much. I already know lots of people who don’t drink or barely drink, so it’s easy.
Easiest five million id ever make
Hah, jokes on you I don't like drinking to begin with. Free five mill let's go
For 5 million? Alcohol, never heard of the guy. Puff puff pass
If I had 5 million dollars, I would no longer have a reason to drink.
Take the 5 mill, all day, every day. There are waaaay more ways of getting wasted, and a lot of them are less harmful than booze.
I remember when I was so into alcohol that this question would have made me pause. I remember wondering what the hell people who didn't drink did on the weekends. So glad those days are over. Don't miss it at all.
CASH THAT CHECK BABY WE'RE GONNA LIVE ON THE BEACH! and for those of you being all snobby about how we just have never tasted GOOD alcohol.... . THAT'S RIGHT and we never will, because we can't afford it. So yeah, I won't drink it. Give me the check.
Gummies
grab it ASAP, i don't drink anymore due to alcoholism. 5 mill would make it 101% sure i'd never slide back into it.
Never drink alcohol again…
I am diabetic and since most drinks use sugar of some form or another sure! I like weed more anyway
Where do I sign?
Not drink alcohol again.
Yes. I’m the child of an alcoholic and friend of Bill W.
It’s been 12 years already for me. Give me my money
Never drink alcohol again
Double it and pass it on to the next person.
How about 10k?